TPO 12 Conversation 1

grade
settle
revising
deadlines
effort
comments
scope
distracted
fits
accurately
focused

So Professor Tibets, your notes said that you want to see me about my Hemingway paper.
I have to say that ______ wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought I’d done a pretty good
job.
Oh, you did. But do you really want to for pretty good when you can do something
very good?
You think it can be very good?
Absolutely!
Would that mean you’d…I could get a better grade?
Oh, sorry! It’s not for your grade. It's…I think you could learn a lot by it.
You mean, rewrite the whole thing? I’m really swamped. There’re wherever I turn
and… and I don’t really know how much time I could give it.
Well, it is a busy time, with spring break coming up next week. It’s your call. But I think
with a little extra , you could really turn this into a fine essay.
No… yeah…I mean, after I read your , I...I can see how it tries to do too much.
Yeah. It’s just too ambitious for the of the assignment.
So I should cut out the historical part ?
Yes. I would just stick to the topic. Anything unrelated to the use of nature imagery has
no place in the paper. All that tangential material just from the main argument.
Yeah, I never know how much to include. You know…where to draw the line?
Tell me about it! All writers struggled with that one. But it’s something you can learn.
That will become more clear with practice. But I think if you just cut out the…um…
The stuff about history, but if I cut out those sections, won’t it be too short?
Well, better a short well-structured paper than a long paper that poorly-structured and
wanders off topic.
So all I have to do is to leave those sections?
Well, not so fast. After you cut out those sections, you’ll have to go back and revise the
rest, to see how it all together. And of course, you’ll have to revise the introduction
too, to describe what you do in the body of the paper. But that shouldn’t be too
difficult. Just remember to keep the discussion . Do you think you can get it to me by
noon tomorrow?
Wow…emm…I have so much…er…but I’ll try.
OK, good! Do try! But if you can’t, well, sure for after spring break, OK?
TPO 22 Conversation 2
draft
concert
familiar
advantage
objectively
context
classical
originally
orchestra
interview
extra
choir

So, I was wondering what I could do to improve my paper before the final is due.
Well, Michael, I have no problem with your writing style. It’s graceful and clear. Eh, and
it’s interesting that you are writing about your grandmother’s piano .
Yeah, when you said we had to attend a concert and write about it, I immediately
thought of her. I have been to lots of her concerts. So I am really with her music.
That’s not necessarily an . Familiarity sometimes makes it hard to see things .
So I shouldn’t write about my grandmother?
No, no, no. I am just talking in general. But as I mentioned in my comments, I’d like you
to place your grandmother’s concert in… in a broader .
Yeah, I saw that, but I wasn’t sure what you meant. I mean, I mentioned my
grandmother’s childhood, how much her parents love music, how she played the piano
at all our family gatherings.
Ok. I see what happened now. By broader context, I mean how the concert relates to
some period in music history.
I see. Ok. Um… I have an idea.
Ok.
Well, as you read in my paper, my grandmother performs music.
Yes.
That’s her true love. But for most of her career, she performed jazz. She studied to
be a classical pianist. But jazz was in its heyday back then, and when she got out of the
conservatory, she was invited to join a jazz . And the opportunity was just too good
to turn down.
Really. Well, that’s fascinating, because she probably had to reinvent her whole musical
style.
She did. But jazz was where the money was at that time, at least for her.
But she eventually went back to classical?
Right, but only recently.
Ok.
So if I can show how her choices relate to what was happening in the world of music at
the time…?
I think that might work very nicely.
And if I do that, I guess I’ll have to like, her.
Right.
And I guess that would mean…
You’ll have to rewrite most of your paper.
Ouch!
Yeah. Would an week ease the pain?
Definitely.
Ok. So are there other musicians in your family?
 Yeah. My mother plays piano, too. Not as well as my grandmother, but…
And you?
I don’t play any instruments, but I sing in the university . In fact, we are performing
next week, and I have a solo.
That’s great! Could I tell the class about your concert?
Um…sure. But…about my paper… what question should I be asking my grandmother?
You know what, I have a meeting now. Why don’t you come to class a few minutes early
tomorrow?
Will do.