OF .SELF-LOVE By BlessingManifestingHello there! I’m Dominee, the err... hm... the Princess of Self Love! (| don’t think |'ve quite worked my way up to Queen.) | am a huge advocate for self-love. | want everyone to feel it. | want to wave my magic wand (au ers. or would it be scepter?) and help you on your way to having a massive amount of love and respect for who you are right now. The world needs more of that. You absolutely, totally, and completely deserve to look in the mirror love what you see. So the big question! Self-love is an easy concept: Loving who you are and making choices that reflect that. I+ looks like letting yourself see the beautiful, sparkly, shiny light that is you, Having high self-esteem, feeling good about who you are, and loving your body in all of its imperfect glory. Self-care is actions you take to show that love. That's a tall order, huh? 10 years ago all of those things seemed absolutely impossible +o me without the aid of a magical genie, a Fairy Godmother, or winning the lottery, because obviously with enough money you can fix the things you hate about yourself, right?|+'s hard +o love everything, It’s hard to move past the mistakes you've made in the past, the way others have treated you or perceived you, the physical imperfections that you see every day in the mirror. |+’s possible. | promise. When your life is lacking self-love you'll see a whole host of problems in your life. Maybe you feel like a doormat because everyone treats you badly and takes advantage of you. Or you feel lonely and isolated because you don’t let anyone get close to you. You might suffer from body image issues, hating what you see and what your body looks like, or maybe your self-esteem is so low that you are hard-pressed to like anything about yourself. The first step to fixing all of those things, (and believe me, it’s like the first step in a long path of many MANY steps) is wanting to change, to make your life different. You have to believe that you are worth the effort and that you deserve to be happy. Sometimes it’s a really hard path, It’s hard to make the choice to love yourself on days that you're depressed, exhausted, or heartbroken. We have to keep making that choice. Here are 26 steps to help you on your way.ACCEPT EVERVITING ABOUTBYOURSEU Right now, | could tell you that you should love and accept yourself just how you are, and that's true, You are deserving of love just as you are in this moment, no matter how flawed or broken you perceive yourself to be. Look at yourself and look at your life and ask yourself: What's stopping me from accepting yourself right now? Sit with that answer and feel it out, If there's something that you don't love about yourself, accept that it’s part of you but also accept that you might have the power fo change i+, We all have stuff to work on, (RISERS GREER ISRED Accept exactly who, and how, you are, but also be willing and open to changing those things that need to be changed if you can. All of the power lies within you,BOUNDARIES AIRE ESSENTIAL It is okay to tell people "no", |+ is okay to stand up for yourself and speak up when someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, In life, we come across people who push our boundaries or make us wish that we had boundaries to begin with, You know the ones, the ones that we allow to put us down because we don't want to be confrontational or cause problems. The ones that say or do things that rub us the wrong way and make us feel uncomfortable. Who take from us without giving back and make us feel used. We all know someone like that. You might let i+ go, you might make excuses, even justify it and blame yourself but no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Make boundaries and stick to them. What boundaries do you need to make?CARE FOR YOURSELF » CONPASSION Remember to treat yourself just as well as you treat other people. You are as deserving of the love and kindness that you give the people in your life. One of the misconceptions about self-love is that it is a selfish act. Selfishness: Devoted to or caring Bly forene s)Sel#; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. Now, I'm alll for you being devoted to you, and of course, you should be concerned with your own interests, but true selfishness is usually born out of ego and out of a EERERENMERNEEEE other peop Feeling good about yourself and treating yourself well, literally has the power to change your life and the lives of the people that love you, in a good way. How can you treat yourself like you do others?DONT THI It’s ABOUT PENFECTION Don't think that you have to fit some vegan-eating, yoga-doing, zen-and- meditation, kind of person to be all into the self-love thang, All you gotta do is love yourself for you, no matter what kind of person you are, You're also allowed to make mistakes, have imperfections, and otherwise be human, If you wait until you are perfect to love yourself then you'll be waiting forever. No matter what, you're worth loving, You hold so much awesomeness right inside of you, so much love for other people, so many big dreams and hopes and if all that isn't worth loving, then | don't know what is. Stop looking for reasons not to love yourself and start concentrating on all of the reasons why you are so freakin’ awesome, List them here!ENQACE IN YOUR LiFe “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” - Oscar Wilde Don't let life pass you by, don’t just sit back and exist, Engage in it, live it. Be the main character in your own story. Don't live for other people, don’t spend so much time in your role as partner, or parent, or employee that you forget to be YOU. That you forget to do the things that make yourself happy, #he #hings that nourish you) Your life is meant to be lived by you. You don’t have to measure up to anyone's expectations of what your life should be. What do you want to do more ofFPRS YOURSELF FROM The PAST You are not defined by your past. There's always time to make a new beginning, The past is there to be learned from, the key here is to learn, This does not mean that you get to bring up the past to make yourself feel bad or to live a life full of regrets. Learn the lesson and then move on, Put it behind you. Self-love is all about being kind to yourself and to do that you must not hold on too tightly to your mistakes. Acknowledge them, learn from them, and then let them go What do you need to let go of?GIVE YOURSELF YN To be honest, it took me about five years for me to really love and appreciate who | was As O person, | journaled, a lot. | read a lot of books about personal growth and mental health, | meditated. | did yoga, | made mana: cone of my main priorities. g my anxiety and depression And | never gave up on myself. There were some times in there where it was really hard and | wanted to revert back into self-destructive behaviors and choices (and sometimes | did because |’m not perfect) but Each time allowed me to learn something different about myself and it highlighted what | really needed to work on. Give yourself time, Change doesn’t happen overnight. If there is something that you're working toward — keep going. Get back up after every fail and try again. What are you working toward?IS ANTAL You can go through life miserable or you can make the choice to fix what's broken, Do the work and know what you need to do to find happiness. If you suffer from depression or mental illness, know that it's okay #0 get help Happiness will come, lf there's something that’s keeping you from happiness then be brave enough to do what you have to do to|work through if or overcome Tt Don't let other people steal your happiness. Ignore the negative posts on social media, Don't even bother yourself enough to perpetuate the negatives and post negative things back. Stay away from crazy-makers and make your own rules for happiness and stand by them. What things make you happy?INDERENDENGERIS) COO FOR OU Don't be afraid of your independence and don't be afraid to be alone. You can laugh aloud while reading in bed 19 a+ book characters, and there's no one to mind. while singing a made-up song, and it's cool, You can go on road trips and listen to your favorite music, You can order a pizza with just olives and mushrooms because it's your favorite and no one else's opinion matters, You can go to the bookstore for books and coffee and stay as long as you want. You can go to the movies and see whatever you want and eat popcorn and you don't have +o share. Aloneness and independence are wonderful. Those traits teach you to be comfortable with who you are, in your own skin. That is an essential tool. Start asserting your independence and don’t be afraid of it! What things do you love to do while you're alone?JOURNAL YOUR FRAT OUT Journaling provides an outlet for your feelings that’s raw, uncensored, and safe. Write things down that you'd never be able to say to another person. You can let it all out WHERSURERENFearer judgment You have the ability to create this beautiful safe container for the things that you feel. And if you feel comfortable sharing those things with the world — lit can change lives. Coming from someone that has written down those incredibly scary thoughts and feelings and then shared them with the world — that’s a special kind of magic. It's empowering, i#’s therapeutic, and it’s such an act of bravery. What's on your mind today?The way you talk to, and about, yourself is a very important part of Self-love. Positive self-talk is probably something that you've done before even if you weren't really paying attention. When you walk by the mirror and see you are looking especially cute, you might say out loud "I look pretty today!" When you're having a bad day and you tell yourself "I'm going to be okay, everything is going to work out." That's positive self-talk and it's good for your psyche! Stop telling yourself that you're fat, that you're unattractive, that everything sucks, that you are weak, that nothing is ever going to go your way... Be Kind #0 yourself! There are so many negative things that we tell ourselves and it can so easily become a habit and it does nothing but drag you down, KRGRGERENGHBSERERIBERGWIEE Be kind, What's something nice you can say to yourself?LOVE Oana y UNCONDITIONAL Loving yourself unconditionally means loving yourself no matter what. Even when you're not your best self, EVERIWERIVSUIMORENMISHARES] and mess up. I+ doesn’t mean that you absolve yourself of responsibility but it does mean that you love yourself anywoy Say “| love you" +o yourself. Saying it reinforces those feelings, it lets them sink in, and it helps you +o really believe it. Write yourself a love letter and read i+ when you're having a really crappy day. Come up with long, grand, speeches about how awesome and amazing you are and how much you love yourself and why you're totally and absolutely worth loving. Be silly about i+ if you want, Say i+ while you're brushing your teeth, make it into a song, sing it while dancing around, say it silently in your head, while you're looking in the mirror before you go to sleep. What do you love about yourself?MAKE YOM FOR YOURSELF Find out what makes you happy and then make the time to do those things. Make spending time with yourself a priority. You deserve it, You're just as important as alll of the many things on your to-do list. We all need something different, but one thing that | am convinced of is that we all need is time with ourselves. |t's so important to get to know yourself and get to know what makes you happy while spending time alone. Spend time on your hobbies and exploring your interests, Spend time with your friends. Spend time doing all the things that you have pushed back because life gets in the What do you want to make more time for®You know that voice in your head (you do hear it right?...) that tells you that you aren't good enough, or pretty enough, or thin enough, or deserving enough? Stop listening, When you are feeling like you aren't “enough” | want you to tell yourself that you are, You are enough. Don't let the not-enough's keep you from trying, If there's something you want in life, go for it, Believe in yourself, Believe in your worthiness. Believe in your inherent good-enough- ness because one day you are going to look back and see how worthy you truly ore and how you are good enough in every way that matters, and you are going to regret each time you told yourself you weren't. Don't waste minutes, hours, or days feeling like you aren't enough. What are you deserving of?OPTIMISM IS A GQHZAT TOOL Even when things suck... 100% of the time it gets better (eventually). That's optimism for ya. |+ may take a little while, but it works. Optimism isn’t alll fluffy bunny whoowhoo hecus pocus... optimism has to be based in reality with a healthy dose of yes, sometimes things absolutely freaking suck but you can keep breathing and keep going forward. Positive thinking is the bridge between what is and what can be. Believe in yourself and your abilities in a realistic way but in a way that puts the odds on your side. |#'s about having faith in yourself and giving yourself a pep-talk. Positive thinking gives you the space to quiet the doubts so that you can see what you're really made of. It's the umbrella that stops you from getting soaked by the rain, even though you still get a little wet. How can you believe in yourself a little bit more?Wake up in the morning and ask yourself: "What do | need today to make me feel nape?” And make that a parity. Sometimes the answer to that is so easy and simple. Maybe it's a coffee from Starbucks, or a chat with a really good friend or an hour snuggled up in bed underneath blankets with a romance novel or your favorite person, Most of the time the things that give us [fhellgreatest amount of joy Ore simple) \f it feels selfish, keep in mind that selfishness is putting your WANTS over other people NEEDS. Your needs and your family’s needs are equally important and that Know how to take care of yourself, how to make yourself happy, and how to do sweet things for yourself that meet your needs. What's one need you can meet today?QUIT HATING YOUR BOD? Decide that society's opinion about your body doesn’t matter. Don't buy into magazines that will help you get the "perfect swimsuit body", Focus on being happy with your body the way it is. Accept if the way it is. Love it the woy i \# you need/want to lose/gain weight, do it, but not at the expense of loving your is, body as it is today. Your weight doesn’t = your worth. You might not have your "perfect" body but that doesn't mean that you can't love it anyway. Adopt an attitude of unconditional love towards your body. Love i+ now and love it 20Ib from now. Remember that your body is just a small part of who you are. Your personality is the reason someone is going to love you. What you give to the world is a lot more important than the size and shape of your bum or boobs, just sayin’. What do you love about your body?REALIZE YOU ARE PART OF EVERYTHING OF God or Goddess or Universal Energy, the Source, Great Spirit - whatever name you call it, There comes @ point in life when your thinking begins to change. When you realize that all of those things that you used to hate about yourself are smaller than you've always thought. You realize that you are part of something great and big and lovely and worthwhile. Have you reached that point where you see something miraculous within yourself? Find that spark of Divinity inside of yourself, Recognize it, accept it, and keep it close to your heart. On your bad days, remind yourself that there is something magical and celestial about you. All of those things that you admire about the Universe dwell within you too, They are part of you and you are part of them, You are part of everything, Do you feel like you belong?SELFSSOOTHING IS AV NAY SILL Self-soothing is such a wonderful act of self-care. [+ means learning how to make yourself feel better when you're feeling strong emotions, When you're angry, depressed, anxious, feeling down — Self-soothing is a soft and gentle way of letting yourself know that you'll be okay, That [joaliare|FoKER leave eFlaR|wPhyl I's so important to learn how to treat yourself with kindness and compassion especially in those moments when you feel like crap. The easiest way to find what works for you is to go through the five senses and then go with the one that has the biggest calming effect on you. Touch, smell, sight, taste, sound — think of the ways you can calm each of those senses. How do you self-soothe?TRUST YOUR INTUNTON I want to lead you to that wellspring of wisdom je of you. It's not my job to tell you that doing *this* or doing *that* will make you into the person you want to be, but | can help you find that voice within you that does. | can encourage you to listen. | can support you in listening to your own heart as you discover what self-care works for you. what your intuition says would be easier, simpler, and not as much work. Don't ignore that beautiful part of you that knows just what to do. Don’t stifle that voice, even when you're scared of it. Be brave and listen. In the end, life be so much easier. The hard part, the part that hangs us up, is when our intuition tells us to do what we don't really want to do, When it #ells us things that will hurt, that will be difficult, we have to listen anyway. What is your intuition telling youtUNDERSTAND YOU ANZ Nor ALONE used to think that no one else would understand the things that I've gone through. The body image issues, [the lack of self-love, my anxiety and depression and how at times, they have completely taken over my life. How being an introvert isolated me and made me feel like | would never be able to EPeaHE IG SUpPOPPISYSHem|| thought | was alone with alll of the things that made me feel broken, What | have learned is that | am not alone, not by any means, l've created a Facebook group for people like me with over 10,000 members. Every day on social media, someone tells me that they identify with my words. lam reminded every day that | am never alone and | never have been, We all have struggles, and talking about them makes them a lot less isolating. What are some things you feel alone with?VoIes WHAT YOU NEED) Don't be afraid to tell people if you need something. Maybe you need space, or maybe you need time with them, maybe you need them to listen to you, or you want to hear what they really think. In your relationships, friendships, and partnerships, make sure that you are Being) vocal about yeur|needs| so that they can be met. you, or how well you wish they knew you, you still have to do your part. Tip: Google the “5 Love Languages” and discover which one is yours! You still have to open up. [DBRUEISEHHE Hor nha yeulden HAeseNe! If someone is treating you in a way that doesn't feel good to you, physically, emotionally, or otherwise, speak up about it. Talk about your needs instead of silently resenting the people around you and engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. What needs do you have trouble voicing?WORTH IS DEFINED BY YOU You get to define your self-worth, |f you don’t value yourself, you're probably surrounding yourself with assholes and that's just going to further perpetuate how you feel about yourself. Value your time, value your energy, value the effort that you put into other people. When you start feeling good about yourself then you start surrounding yourself with people who are more likely to build you up instead of tear you down. You learn to create a support system that values you and who you value back. In the meantime, [FemeMbenhabyen are under no obligation to listen to anyone's opinion about you but your own. If someone is not seeing your worth that doesn't mean that you don’+ have any. As a human being, a beautiful collection of cells and blood and bone, you have worth, It’s up to you to recognize it and use it to your fullest potential by setting boundaries with people who treat you otherwise. How do you feel about your own worth?YOURSaUF Witt CREATIVITY Everyone is creative, even when they don’t think that they are. You don't have +o be good to be creative and if that’s the case (let's admit we aren’+ all Picasso) then you have to be willing to silence your inner critic, |+ doesn’t have to be perfect to be fun! How many creative things do you do in @ week? Do you dance, sing, paint, draw, doodle, write, create, knit, decorate, bake, cook? There are so many avenues of creativity and finding the one that's yours is part of what self-love is all about. We need that outlet, everyone needs a way to express themselves. \# you've had trouble getting in the creative mood, try mixing things up by trying a by doing something small first. Let go of distractions by taking yourself on an artist's date. Go for coffee and then sit in the park and create. new medium or a new style. Relax into i: What creative things do you love to dotVES IS PART OF YOUR VOCABULARY lam a huge fan of the word “no”. I+ creates boundaries and reinforces them and it took me a long time to learn the power of it, But I've also had trouble with “yes”, | used to exist in a world of | had to learn that no is important and so is yes. Say “yes” to those rare opportunities that come your way and don’t fear that you aren't good enough or talented enough or smart enough. Say “yes” to getting what you want out of life. On the flip-side, make sure that you are honoring your needs, your boundaries, and your energy by saying “no” when you need to. Creaie clear boundaries! withibornitheselwerdel Invite the things that you want into your life with “yes” and say “no” to the things that you don’t. What do you want to say “Yes” toZest: (noun) Great enthusiasm and energy. A quality of excitement and piquancy. Synonyms relish - gusto — savor. Do you have a zest for life? Do you enjoy your life? Really, really, enjoy it Create a life around yourself that you adore, that you love, that makes you happy and that feels good and right and AUTHENTIC to you. Making a life is not to be confused with making a living, Making a living is all that stuff you do to pay your bills and keep your family fed and housed. Making a life is what happens in between those moments. Are you making the most of it? Is that time spent between the responsibilities and the obligations making you happy? Do you look forward to it? Create a life around you that’s full of love, from yourself and from others, make a commitment to give yourself the best life possible. That is self-love. What do you love about your life?WANT Mons SELFSLOVE? The Self-Love Workbook is @ colorful digital (or spiral- WORKBOOK bound printed!) workbook that focuses on what self-love is and then explains all of the different aspects of self-care, lt's perfect for people just starting their self-love journey! The Self-Care Planner is a planner full of self-care tips for each week. Make a daily plan on how you're going to be kind to yourself, | release a new yearly planner every September/ October!HE SOUL SISTERHOOD] | Yein our self-care/mental health Facebook group. |+’s growing more and more every day and it’s incredibly active. |t’s a great place for inspiring quotes, to ask for advice, and to form friendships while also having daily self-care and mental health reminders! Join here! + I'm also on Patreon! You can subscribe for some really awesome monthly downloads. Wallpapers, PD OFFIGIAMLY calendars, worksheets, tarot readings, and ON PATREOR vere! Tiers start at just $2/month! ee me Check out Patreon‘Meet Dominee! Dominee is the Magic Maker at Blessing Manifesting, She has made it her mission in life to inspire others to find love for themselves. She loves to share her passion for , magic, spirituality, and self-love with the world. Her goal in life is te help people realize that they don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love, to follow their big dreams, and to make a difference, Visit the blog for more articles on self-love and living a happy and joyful life. You'll also find articles on anxiety, depression, journaling, and much more! You can also find Dominee in the following places: Facebook Instagram lf you loved this e-book, you can also leave me a tip on Ko-Fi This e-book is © to Dominee at BlessingManifesting.com, Shore with all your friends! Feel free to share the download and pass it around but pretty please give me credit!