Hendrik Sketch Script

Hendrik moves into frame and spits onto the ground before looking at the camera.

[HENDRIK]

So…you wish to know our motivations for the upcoming raid on the South? Tsk. You lot are slow on
the uptake huh?

BEAT

[HENDRIK]

I hope you don’t have an immediate family from that shithole* coz we are going run our blades
through them like Ragnarok is coming next Tuesday. (Laughs). Why you better hope next of kin isn’t
some cheese-eating weasel. You wunna know why we raid? It’s not just we see them as a buncha
inferior vermin who need a culling – see it’s in the name of Odin and his Court.

Gunnar appears to the side of the screen.

[GUNNAR]

And plundering their wealth.

[HENDRIK]

Shut up you coward back to the forest with you coward!

Hendrik shoves Gunnar away places himself back into position.

[HENDRIK]

Uhhh…yes, the wealth why the cowardly Britons and the cheese-guzzling French have some gold and
silver we could…borrow shall we say. (Laughs) you shoulda been there last year the look of fear on
their faces – oh it cracks me up every time. And the French gods those people must be too occupied
with there cheese to have seen a proper sword. I mean look at this beauty.

Hendrik unsheathes his sword.

 [HENDRIK]

Ain’t she gorgeous?

Hendrik looks at the camera while presenting his sword.

[HENDRIK]

People say it ain’t nothing special but coz ‘everyone has one like it’. Well I’ve got something to say
towards those people. Especially you, Bjorn. There the same fecking idiots who smell like a boar’s
arse on Tuesday* who probably think going Berserk is all ‘rage no tactics.’ Well listen hear you
pedantic fucks!

Hendrik lunges towards the camera and clutches it.

[HENDRIK]

I’ve killed more southerners, crossed more leagues than any other man or woman in the known
lands I am fecking better than all fecking lot.

Hendrik shakes the camera violently before abruptly cutting to the next interview.

Post-Production Notes

*Expletives will be censored with a buzz

*Whole line from ‘fecking’ to ‘Tuesday’ will be censored for comedic effect.