ACT ONE Ec and the bouncers have been parading the auditorium As {era play they etre toe pen race. La ‘Moo and Rauie and upstege ite addrese! te sdlence Thare i avunseof menace throughout evo! Rec ts Ladies and gentlemen, we present the Bowncers BOUNCERS (Blongating the") We welcome yout 1 vision fhe ethan nae $Fostag nights and ends ‘To dromken eying gil and gallons of boore Cinging) Cetedetion time, come on! Forte oldest swinger is cown ‘eva urna ie Inevitably Bere Toa imidnipht creas ‘An must make it clear ‘Tha the beri pricy he muse plsatiog ‘The stmorphere ie iatoneaing ‘We four wil wy to lose The srt of things tat happen late Asn a neyo nd the Beer been downed NOW DOWN AT THE DISCO IS THE PLACE TO BE JMHELIGHTS ARE SO BRIGHT UKE A COLOUR TY THE MUSIC IS LOUD AND THE BEER FLOWS FREE P'S A BISCO PLACE FOR YOU AND MELev see Ley seo Raw [Now ON THE DOOR. YoU Pay voUR MONEY LACE 1s PACKED, THE PLACES 8 LOOK At THE Gants ee osmannaneane SMELL THEIR HONEY COME "T0 THE PLACE ‘WHERE THE DEAT PULSATES INTHE HEAT OF THE NIGHT THE WALLS GYRATE INTHE BOWELS OF HELL THE SCENT IS STRONG ‘THERE'S SEX IN THE AIR AND THE HUNT Is ON AND THE CHILDREN OF ENGLAND SING THEIR SONG {ilonly) HERE WE GO, HERE WE Go, Hes ge 7260, HERE WE Apowre) ‘WELL YOU FINISH WoRK. WELL IT'S FRIDAY NloHT. $0 YOU'VE Gor YOUR PAY AND YOU FEEL ALRIGHT. PUMP UP THE BITTER PUMP UP THE BITTER PUMP UP THE BITTER DOWN FIGHT PINTS YOU DON'T CA CARE CARE YOU DON'T EA CARE CARE YOU DON'T CA CARE CARE Coz TV's FRIDAY NiGiTT aw Ene su00! oor Ene 1990's Rew [SAID HIP HIPPY cir cree uP GIP HOP BoP, DRINK THAT SLOP AND DON'T YOU STOP GET DOWN GET UP GET IN GET OUT GET DOWN GET UP GET IN GET OUT GET DOWN GET UP GET IN GET OUT GET DOWN GET UP OET IN GET OUT ‘THE BOUNCERS ARE MEAN, INTHEIR BLACK AND WHITE MME FELLAS ARE PISSED THEIR FISTS ARE TIGHT BUT THE CHICKS ARE LOOSE (as women) "C07 IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT. We GOT SOUL WEGor souL HOUSE RAP WE PLAY A LOT OF OTHER STUFF "THAT SOUNDS LIKE CRAP (building) GET DOWN GET UP Geri Ger our Get bows Ger uP GET IN GET our Ger Dows Get UP Ger inGerour | YOU COME DOWN HERE, WEARING JEANSA ee ee YOU CAN'T GET IN KNOW WHAT HE MEANS? GOTTA HAVE A'TIE, GOTTA HAVE A sur GOTTA LOOK CUTE OR YOU'LL GET THE Boor GOTTA HAVE A THE GOTTA nave a surT GOTTA LOOK CUTE OR Vou'La Ger THE Boor (Chay are sage cir. K spsigh picts them om Sree ar SHOW Yau Htening Rao One wih tre Waite “Hello Steves Grate hee keep Your ts out and Teall you ngh back at ‘Ten ity tre. Ten ely nine. Rado One FM {gs Bowt) Tellme wht the tine iy tel me what ts repent Yes tha was the ‘Bouncers, ‘Yes yes yesh boy yesh boy get a pon ee 0 sh filet 0 sh, give mea fsh to files, Yes, That record is going dows very well nthe licos £01 shal cet be playing fonghe x my bin Litdehampron, Yes indeed, Yes we do, Ler shave that oft Sudden the scene changes and the bouncers Become female customersin ladles hateicier Retr sitsunderahatdryen, reading magne. Buc 00 Ene eve Ewe sun Ene 1990" Rew s ic [Mauness Raving shar warhed by Sooo [Gnenvel Les ie oft) and he's s0 ‘Tat tr Woh gt a maga popular because people Heep ringing bi Souls tet Maureen? No, Chery love I gst on my bloody nerves. like ‘hi Bano Brooks aed Oae a 22 Davies “This new Alberto 1 want to look nice fr tonight (ving anywhere special? Ws Rove's wenty-ftst I shoud be 2 good do hope iti, love ‘You know he. She comes in ere. She works a Pce Four of sare goin dows to Mr Cader ‘Ob, I've heard some good eeports about that place alught Yeu Ws the best pace round here. Weal plush, ieee " Ly to get in gets ‘Yeah. You've gotto gether xt et it packed oot Like the Back Hole of bloody Cau (Las enters the hairdrenser's, om of breath Me has ‘become Rost) HyeLs Ene boll Talk about being rushed off your feet Took at the ime and ve only jst Haste What ve you been p 0, Rosie? [An onde came ina ent out, Chuti’cheok Friday an Cheeky gets, ‘Can you ft me in, Cheryl? ‘And my bleeding bitty can’t 1m at love, Im choek-a-lack tit old her to book. ‘Vm going out mysei.. Dagonara Casino, ambiing? Well Bloody ‘el jos have tobe ate, that's al 1 po ararn's She might beable fit me Ie Ve you down here later, Maura Alga, 1 (io audience) Tara everyone ‘She's a dizzy sod hat Rese (eting ancomfortaste under the hairdryer) How such longer, Chart? dl eo 400 Ewe see Reon o00 seo Bc 090 Bloody bell. She's on iret ery ‘Bloody tell I wish you'd pe your al cut Ive got nw srt si thing. ee abit tiga buts wha? Ski pana wel caar “Top Stop? ‘No chance. Got it fom Chelsea Gin Cesena (Oh yeah. They're lovely. ve got one in a sort of 1 go them in these ow much were they? ~ (hough te scone romaine exe ae we Gretna barber’ Too la brusque barb Bin ie char Raton rade dy magecne) ‘Come and ge your hair ut if you dae Jesus Chet! Where he? at ee bi 1m over hee, lads. Right, Who want what? You Soung lds want proper bac. Wel for thee Fit Sou ean have te Vinnie Jones Took. Very iar with he tops Or for three fy you can {ive the Elepast an otoo Rare se00 Rare Ewe eno Ene oo What's the Elephant Man cut? makes on sie of your ea look hgge than he nay ba You sd it 1 wot why? (ignoring them) Or you can have the Tony Curtis rout look t's the Tony Carts tare look? Aloft. Totally ata. Egghead cut ‘Tony Cuts doesn’t have ike ha. He does i he comes i here. Panay, h? Fu tas ch ihe ill yer and cu the gas, {ER 8 nthe chair and Som bent cat hi nis How old are you? ooking 2 mas body that. rm nineteen in) Judy belt Look (ots woman? hope that she's down there sno Rawr Bc 00 Rare 1990s Rea nave ato o'cock. Imi Make sre that you don't pet an uply one ‘There only wply ones left at wo oto, Bollocks ‘Watch the language, you What re yu doing oh hai? He can't goon ike I .2y pou ein keep sway fom me 00 imate. Anything 08? No nanks Anything for the weekend? Ye ave a gross | ‘Time ey do open. Las entere) Vm here, you dreamers Kew Kev, ready forthe big nih. Ready as I'l ever be ‘ey Tam dying for it I've starved myself all week Seven oclck nthe Taverner, right? Atria10 Bee! Les Jove Aleit Where's Tey? Pm bere, (Quo setches from playing the barber to playing Meany, The cena changes toa wireet corer ghee they ail waitfor xa) [thought be was he barber ‘st Gnhed winders day of wood sack {aking sbout the aces st Chepstom, the Sopra rie and he chances oP England winging te (chaning) England for te night-time. Mindless ge watchs etaps of the old sn of perfone feo finde ight mikyite gr fod Spo xurpese hat dying for See you down there a even. “Tere Jerry Kev Bar Be young Be Fotis But be happy Be dada da de da dada da ‘And be careful not to catch it! Bollocks! (Pe ctor ow bee Tad geting wads for the big night ous.) a ‘Ban, that it. Friday nigh fe or Fight. Get down there. Have a shinfl, Might have Chinese ae ‘hlcken-thesaake, Maybe hot do, Might tk Rane 00 aw Ene Rare 990% Re u 1 Got my dole money saved up. Try and poll some Slant Give her pup. Fm looking cool I'm looking seat. Wish I dde't, Ihe that apo (He agueezes on imaginary pot) Gotcha! Blackbeads Slop some Clearail on) foe: Not bad ery. Not baat sl, mate Hope # don’ get stubbed agua ‘Time ise? Jesus Chis Teno sven (Goons be late ‘Time for another quick check (They al sand na rom and check the various parte Sftieir bodies) ches eck Aftershave? Jason Donovan uses his. (cing) Seled With Kiss... Check Tale on genitas? check. Well Money?Double check. Condoms? checkaroonie Breath? (Phy al breathe onan ty and mel sea . sate ‘Ugh! Beer should drown tat. Ding ding, ares plese Bottocks, Get downtown to sa the pub crawl, When we gt tere is packed already. fee is Kev me nie aves a By (Daring the following sequence the lads attempt to fel served Tein actons shoud convey the buen, ‘shy mosphere ofa mb) ‘ Four pins, plese! (4s they down the frst pint ofthe evening) ONS! "Course Get some crisps. Four bags of bee Look ats on that (1 oudience) Social comment, Four pists, pal. Two! 1890's Rew B Hey, who's pushing? ‘Ae you beng served? Hey up, bastard oar more pints, pl THREE! (Got any pork sernchings? Hey, watch me sie, Look who's pushing? Packed inte? ‘And «whisky, love, please FIVE! Bxeuse me, love 1 gave you a fiver Pat get. Four pints, four bags of bee, for bags of salted pean and four whaty aie (Ghunbs) Yeah! SEX! SEVEN! ave you got any cashews? ey twat ve been stod here a month. ‘Can we have some service down here?”Shut your moat rm being serve, (Phe four tad rece az they 00 beer spill Bc [Bats rowers) ee emt! Look a a. Someta i bel Daft gt, 1s brand new. Way How many Time for ve only had nie. Are we off? Dryou think we" actin? Should do, ope there's n rable ‘There's fur of, Yeah, ‘Come on Les get dows thee, pick some Right. Hang on, Waar? Pie cal as 00 Rare se00 Bue Las Bae ae 1990's Rew as ‘oh yan (they at rr their backs af peeing and then tm Peo face the oudience) We'd bene spi op. way? “The Bouncers. ‘ont fet you in, Tn F005 (Ok, Me and Kev. Right (Realising who he's pared ‘Yeah, And me and Of with Ob batocks! “dust a they are about move vay they all reese aur the ence mre Become the Rr Eater tn the hairdresser sequence. tc [MAUREEN £5 (fos Sono Teta], end Raton (Sue all end woqether na circle having laugh and dana lpab They ar all dressed up inthe Fri ed clothes Peay forthe night OW: TAS heal becommanicated fo he audience through eesti They introduce themselves on BY one) Margen, Massive but ic. Fat but cuddly. NOU ‘amoikes a Sink and auph- Abit busty. (ily tanh) ‘Rosie. Btthdsy today Tall and sls ai al etme had Kd a Barbar ese erally sults you. ‘Thank you com ive had a in. foo ity. Hey, it wl end Invear el ov HeoLs tee Je00 ts Jeo Ente! te Ran Rane Have you los bit of weight? Plain Elin, ‘shame, [eft school at sateen with one GCSE in metalwork Fon the doe Ws sucha shame, Eoye a god night out bt doesnt expec to get picked up though Handy in sight Posie fet. Satavara Hye Hiya Rose Mauree, Blaine... Miya on under my dess.Do ‘heck gets Go they ‘nga taper Cane te aed own ll over. I bet You would fancy ho boy Ooh, hence hat oe. than yous hee "at your neck thrown op? say be is Yeah Right, Who wants what? il have « int of Guinness have brandy sn ime, Well. 10 have a lager and back because if have any more Pi be oatmy tack 0, oly a joke. Acoso You cheeky sod Sorry, Be Raunt 00 nw 1 havea Pits Cras (Cit, Listen to ber ‘She does’ Bloody cre fee a it ick ‘You'll be egh when we get dowa there Are we geting the bas? Vm not walking it in these shoes. eno: put a rosord on ‘When will be famous?Ran Les se00 Eve saga Les Les Ralph eae? Ralph, (Cacny Enc joins the group.) Ralph? 1990 Rea 8 exer sd Les. Lucky Erie. Atrigh? Yea. Why? Yoh Biter. ‘Any wouble last night? ‘Usual, Couple of punks got [Nothing specia hen? No, [wanted to have “em, but Eri said no ‘You'e to violet, Les. You cant contol yoursel | You don't have an fa, Ese. That's your wouble, Genin past uray mane) Don't you ever say tat Lam pas it Eve! (over toss) Many i? Packed Early rsh, then 1m 1 got basket meal fr nothing yesterday. ‘Weal oft Fridays fr yo When? Yenerday» Ob yesh? ‘ice on she ince ta bag. No bd ‘Yeah, alright the dark, ‘A bic fat around the buttocks if yo ask me. And chips? ‘No chip. Fatening! Shoat Yeah rie, ‘Optic itason, hati ‘What? Tha chips are fattening? How come? Makes ber [Nearer tthe ground look beget, {Good entre of ervity, chickens. How's the judo? Not bad hans es? Yeah twice a week. And you? ou sit ‘tale hamsters ‘imine you though, de 1? igo’ tain the wife too w ruber gob? howe dd you so00 00 ue ue bes Exc Jove eo 1990's Rew a Leave my wife out of it you. ‘hear he's pting it abou abit, ‘Dont believe ll you hear Jd, your hend'l blow ” know a blake who 1398 e's had her. Leave it Jed 1 could have you anytime The hing is den, ri. Era Ae fons tfiny cere ben preted tice hundred sed iy four pounds, esterday. Me. When? Yenerday t pillocked Thomas, no pillock No pillock dou ‘You coulda press a baton Could nave done two rps ree hundied an ity four pounds hase ‘Tccepouns na sone? Eiga mores in «ko? That's heavy, Joi, ‘What cn you beach Jd? Something. Sul wresting?2 000 Les Ran Ene Stil onthe dote arent you? Doing «bit of nicking? No. Wells bit 1s abit quiet out here tig Ue soon ven up when the pbs tra ot. They alt bestvenming down hee ke seep. (chaning) Here we go, Ree we go, ate we 0. (As Fenty nares fins) FOURS Bastards! What time ea? ‘Well, the big hand is on nae Barly doors yet No need to stat grein’ agressive, Yes, they al becom Yea, o. OF lok. own here, looking for ig boxom woman, all pecte woman, ‘Yes, there's usually one oF wo of them bout and there? ‘Theyre all ight you know realy No they are at all Fight you know realy Ewe Enc Ram Ewe 1990's ewe 2 the same at wt They've got tame sek drives. Have they, Leslie? ‘Yes they have, “cot one of my best mates old on minute, Le. ‘What are you om about Les? Now listen wa jos about 1 say Yes “That one of my best mates. (Once knew a fla whe once and only once, worked {club for any people “ell ws another ove ‘You cast be fo cael these days, Les. Each thrown, Tha ac te Hoody bx You have ic gt lt people get on With Tei they want ac my pstovaphy for ie, Fai enough R fan orwow my anabag any might Steady on Steady on (oc what? [Are we ying to start something, Esc? Could be. ‘Are we trying to encourage conflict situation?a te Rawr Rave Enc Might be, Me tna Cal. (aan takes ap trong stance and insite Beto neh Come on then there now (Gee mates a move as if to ht him, but stops. I va Noae Eni stands and laughs a Rau. The ker bouncers se the latent danger but at thi 0 replay occurrence, the) are nat unduly disturbed.) Powerit. 've shit ‘em, sudo, Putas (they back of. There isa moment's quiet) Eric, Erle... Remember that Rogby Union tip that None ofthat tonight, hope. ‘Caused chao. Bloody idiots Coltege boys. (sing) She's arn shag, she's whore wane st heads Ccoltege, my ‘They came dowe hee doing thei coege antics, ‘ating each oer over the ead with bese rye ‘ropping ter trouters every five minute. Like Hid, one oto of hem about Asia nc us Rare Pre Ls tas 90's Rew as hy have these special nights, you know. Rusby tobe Ses aod al! at Yean? 1 tousht of joining. 1 just thinking. What wit My rain, Jud op ere. Whore you Kep Budsie fod und abba. ve got bra ncaa Ha ‘anda his fate you're going to end up on Iie oppor Todd eve it ot ie You're very tethy, Bre (on yan? Yes. You'e very very ttc ‘what were yo thinking abou, Exc, with this rain thatyou've got? 1 was jst hiking: women, (Oh yesh, and what abou them’? “Theyre weied! ‘Tey'te not as word as having a Beard Up your a8, ‘What om earth ae you trying to say, Fee? Ditferentateactions, Sta What's strange about women?EERE eee 26 Bre Rare Joo ‘They laugh a you when you's naked 8 yeah jst thinking as well pean, where is everybody? I'm (bloody death oat here Way's mat Becayse nobody's turned up ye, so let me get me hands on somebody, warm them up 2H The a eg sect, stod about in posh pb dows em Ether that or hey'e wating the body iy came dow her shut half eve Tiehetisted sods ly. "going inside in a minute (Ec has been gazing in the night) ook at them its, lok all thos Highs. “The City by Night’, by Lucky Eric, ap atit's impression ‘Them lighs ae lke people, jt like people's ives, ‘What's he on shout? ‘Tem Mats, people lve in them fas, He's a bloody gens, you know. Couples, huddled together in one or wo roms. ere Show him tothe bedroom love, Carrying out elatinships ae we aun Jove" 1090's Re 2 ‘Aye exe ete we go. Getting round 05x NONONO.... YES! In them Mats, somebody’ behaving a sha right (Passe, while the ide snk in) Locky bastards Alt over the word people willbe d encima owe vege Lacky bastards Don’t et it get 0 00, Eee Don't get depressed [And we're sod hee ot he cold lke four daft (chong) Lucky Erie's fest speech! (The shove bouncers fade into the Background othe Ait dim anda spetight comes up on ic He tives his pocch with oral sincer).) ‘The ges ae young some look younger than the ‘hes twos me ledges Tm not hic, Vou fhlak har we're tuck. Wore not rm aot Got to be tluhteen Ttuena blind eye We live by rales bat we {lturn ind eye: don kao wheter oF mo i ‘ood thing sla schoo! af of thet: they ‘ne down he Friday, Saterday ain Stock the money they've earned morn pa inthe ara Win ce ee? Wi he Imade-opoces, floating shout. ona cloud of Estee Etude! weatig Impafe ad fools gh Fiashing rindi flesh, of school kaikor ‘Keane esh of sunburn ig hale le, spelby human hand, leg sweat ot “you? Two di pening to any particular far keys a Ara (The maa play oul, The four actors now. Secome Euatwe, Rose Soe ond Manse They pick other handbags and walk with grea dignity io a_i20 Ene 000 00 Ls Ene Rare 100 bs Eve Jee Be ee Ihe middle ofthe dance lor. They then al place 'Netr handbags ina plé'on the oor and begin fo dance around the beg to the msc) a bat icky bit ia. Elsin sweating like race horse, wants to sit Susy - sexy and Mashing it aout abit (Christm sweating. Yawharr Pm dipping 1 feck You what? 1 eo sik Ya what Rose? 1 fol iy, Happy birnay. hak rm go (isn't she pated? Let get tothe ties Ls Ewe 00 Las 1990's Rowe ” What's she had? ive barley wines Hang ona minut. I etal right ow, twas jst Indi (ao the audience) Ad ten, 2 if by magic the ‘Sranken ers, and Resi discovers twenty iss ae oval un er boyiend Patrick is seen kissing another. ‘wien several lrg shorts imbibed, the teats and mascara begin um He's lett me for anther, over na dark corner open. aed French ng tongue job to sy the fest feel myself get all angry ad pct nse but ve already had enough dake fo fil uth “The hae tras ise to sell pty and te ets begin to low and wih tthe mascara, And soon my face Hoots lite amines back nthe shower, les of ck Max Factor. And then the frende begin to comfort me and afer me advice ot iow and what todo Burn her face off (0b don't be df, CCesuate the planer. ‘Get your LPs back ‘Then the plague begins o spree he tars begin to ‘low and lt vie becomes sobbing woe: Leek a Im siting there a cot ava cucumbsr. ve bees soing outwith him fortwo days =" it's pathetic. Pathetic, pathte, pathetic. (Cond matic comes up)Ene Juve se00 Ewe 00 Ene June 00 Ewe Bric ove this. ve goer dance ‘0o000000h, i goes righ though me Te goes igh through mean al Waat hase? heard that, Rosie 1m sory, Sue You are not coming to Renidor, (ith one) Ook woe ith Change and we ae sudenty onside the ehab ‘once more. Ene and So are the wo bounces Detling the doors Rata and 34 ply variety Of characters trying enter theca) ‘Seems tobe going gute sendy Jud, Twenty a wn “Twenty nine sone, Thre hunded and fit for pounds, I's heavy that ister twentymin one MAT ig 1 could bench that. Don't start "ould beat you any day. have you now. ont ve shit bigger tnd han you. 0 ae suo ene Ls Rar Bors we Bont 08 Ee Raunt Ewe Les tes No. You're sft Leave i Sad jas leave it “The King is desd Erie (enter Wa and Wa downstage.) wake ‘And Wak ll reed wp very smart ‘Bat we look abit rough Hey come ed come e Evening fells Evening Where are you from? Abo. (om yean? Not from round about hee though are you? [Not rom round about here no, 1s there a problem ke? ‘No, no problem Great, Wee in, come on. Are you cat soe of celeb ‘Yeah, you could say that, ‘Yeah, woe celebrating, yeahWhat, stag might et, lade? ‘Yeah that’s ight, tg ght Sour ads, cant et you in wy? No sag pasties allowed in You what? You bead Jesus Chit, Go amy. Come od, come ed, come ed Soft bastards Always work, Stag ig No wonder they're losing cbstom in hee is always» good lave, (Rate and Les enter again, sis tin a punts They spread their hands above te head aerate ‘pity hint Sem pogo, ere) Where are you punks going? Inthe discotheque, man Not dressed lite that you're no, Go home and sthnge your. : my wu 00 Ru Ls Rare Ls Rare Les Rane Bt 1990s Rea 3s ‘Don’t cll me man. fodhead Come on maa, were aot gong o cause any trouble fete: de spi) 1 esow you're nt "cs I'm not gong to et you is Gespiron Raum) ey did you see that? Yeu Idi and 1 think it ome ono po and have a pat a pointe ccopit Hey Ratage Yes Ashley. Do you know what they are... ? They are facet 2 hey ve spol the woe eve pies (singing) On you fascist pes (inging) you eel pgs What do you think ofthat thea? They're lovely yi (Las and Raum poro off wpsage The acors Betome iets Me nd Bas nd Reco ond Las become bouncers once more) (chaning) Here we go, hete we 20, hete we 20OO OOOO SO Jove Ee Rava Rare Rar Ls Les Watch these two, Terry Why's that, Baz? oe Might be a bit awkward, bof Evening, lads. a You what? = nlc as tye come hy ip ‘Let them ia, Ralph. be ‘Why did you tet them in? “me Yor watt Bee 19807 Rew ” Ter Jeary. ry pnt and sop tt (They all take another im town SIXTEEN! Anda vndsto! Inthe ties tw Shit howse! (Standing upetage centre they are nthe cab Fees Buch of hem passes mind and there te a {teligh of visual seatlopieal jokes. Finally, they fre Yeadytowrnae, Les narrates conveying the “mosphere whit the other ct ou the huaton) the el-hle fuined by Teose Tooting! one quick sip tad you're Spioyourhip in oe (One ofthe actors slips and drowns) ‘When yoo actully ach the urinal, your Hash Puppies ae soaking. seeping though to your socks. Inthe urinal thereby ths time bers ‘atiering of tb end, 2d the odd roupgon of sick Inthe sin there's probly Durex parker, with, Tet them. The smell is nauseous You sand holding sour break tying topos eading the wall, ying Sour best not to catch anjone's eye bout (reading) You don't come hete 1 mess verti oh, charmingRawr Ene Joo (eodin) Follow this line. (Ue fllows a line, ‘moving stow!) You ae now pasts on you fd ARearange his wel-knowa phrase. Shit Mes Thatcher isa oe ve gor Mrs Shits Thatcher. Don't be stupid 1s, Shit Thatcher Mes sa ‘ere's one: ave water, pss ona fend, (They start ook atone another's genitals.) (eo Rasan) What the bel is that? Jesus Chis? Bloody bet What's the mater with you lo? (oss) Hey, seen this? Wns ‘Look at hate never seen one 50 bg Bleeding bet Haven't you seen one before? Ws hea baby's arm with an range in is fis {Let's havea ook at yours then? Gerra way you pervert. 1s ot natu Rare 0 1900s Rew » sap offensive weapon is that he coulé mug romeboy on yeah? Come om let's get back on (they all pup ther trouzere: Rate has baton.) Bo you faney a bit of alah? Yeah. (Laughier) (aases Carmina Burana, Suddenly they are Bouncers once more) ‘Are we going inside or ha? Eager toight Les? 1 want to wate the skirt. wanna se all theo, hatocks, shit wanna tik fo"em He’ ak 9 anything Just what do 900 ay to women in here? How do you hat "em up ‘You jst stat talking them an opening gambit. Shut up and get your its out? Sub Ming you this is beter hanover twenty-five igh Dripping in wall o wall ellis Eres favouriteLes Bue oe Rawr uve Ene 400 seo Bue 00 Bue Pac Over twenty-five ight? (Gra a gray nigh e's ooking fora women aren't you Bie? ‘Sho up you ort wom i kM; doe now ere On Tuesday Erie Leave ited, And she wasn Shudde, With» coupe of young blokes think, leave i it nave you 0b yeah? Ne. 1 wit have you ua 100 ‘Come on then Don't set me off, Come on Don't Jud. Jou don't (Silence) lucky Erie's second speech, 90's eu 4 twenty-five igh. Mutton lamb nigh, mation dressed es anything “and you can sc thebaggnge naband dea, wife et hae Gut, and Ras i ae Yen i ey. sod ch a ee Quiet, innit? All dose people asleep: It” ALL Here we go, here we go, bere we go, (Scene chane tthe ads now wating fora taxi) Desie We talons Eee Baz - nem dying fra sash, Jeo Terry Rao Do you fee pissed up | Raurn deny Juve Who? Ls key Ram You? ‘Au, Woasuananaasay! 4u00 (considering the posi) No, Not now. Raum No.1 dont Jo00 Have You seen the length ofthis tai queue? Iie | sg ee 4000 {id about an hour ag, I've sobered up I think | es widh Ve pot ig coat on Les Wee cold Raum Qn, tok a that... ve got spew ll over me nem biog slash fe bepin to urinate) " fs (pretending «tai approaches) TAXI Les Ihave, beso uc Ob shit (te artempes to do up his les) Jum Lhave, (Oh shit (te atemps Les Oaly ajoke Ec I've go shit on mieo 400 Raine 400 une se spent thiny-five guid Yean? Jesus Chest, ve spent thirty-five Bleeding gpg? have “That a ost me ll Wednesday. “Thay-five quia! dda oven gets hss oF a fel of Ui Phsing elem depressed A sights upto you. ve spept fry qui text week's bout money My Mam ave aft ve spent. er. ('e forgot what L came out Yean, but hiey-tve quid ils ton) Tani St John's Mas... wanannay! Hey look, ts them four binds) (Ovhoops of delight asthe ax arrives, They mime ering into the tava i serceches off They st ‘moving as though ie. carne ofthe ld light Clearer ond begins to make One ofthe tert begins to fet ick) Heel sick, (The actors canvey the sensation that the ari Speeding away end ting corner a for speed Si Begins ero) su00 Ewe 00 us Ewe Raunt Buc Raunt Ene 1900s Rew 6 ‘ell him so Mop oF Fm gonna be sik (er though speaking the driver) Wil you stop? Beast Pget topping eos aght Bea tek ‘A wick? What's he want me odo? Rupture my aauer 1 feel abi pewy. Tell hi to slow down Tell him to so. ve told, Let some arin ese, 1s like a wrest’ jock ap (ac avinates ofthe window. eal blows ack Into orher faces) a doing it out of the window. D't beso Bloody stop. Hey lds, Pm slashing out of he window ‘eam, ve boon sick down hs back Window... ick. SHUT! Ue shs the ‘now Assanargh! «the car suddenly sreeches ta hal. Scene itches bck the Bouncer a he i) Look at he beeing mes. Animals (0 sings nonsense nto the mcrophone.) ‘Look at the amount of bee that's heen lef. A waste (hey and around contemplating the mess)tn 7 6 Ewe Joo Ewe Les | Ene 00 Shall we get packed away and get the video on? Eager be Jd, arent you? 1 wan fe the filth ‘You te to denstve Judd tha’ you Look at he mess. Hey there's «peo kickers Keep ‘em, they might ft you I give you one pound twelve for Have you seen he bogs? ‘What's wrong with hem? ‘Two urinals cracked i’ al ov Wat is? he flor (ett rumaging around) Anybody was a bsket Anoter five. Jammy bastard ‘That's why they call him ocky’ re ‘Are we grt fs video ono what? Hei a perver, ‘Well don't know about you lds, but I'm sagged And me 1 wish twas ne Raunt Bue bas ne Les ewe us 1990s Rew: 6 1 wish you way and al Jo 1 you ths ch Ei, dont hin 1am and Layee ta gang tome. a loess eg ome {challenges strongly) Tha’ because you're soft (Silence) doc’ respond Yon peaceful Listen Bow quit it My eas ae stil bozting ‘My beans buzzing, think I'm gone dat ‘You what? a tok. ok very fon ad, Yo te Lest a hal ss ae Ro ‘se we getin his video on or what? Yeh Ralph get some cass, we have a coule of Tore A You topping Ee No Fm not a pervert I Haha Look at hat. Tw oak he's ding to sop, pence, And i's mine, {wanna get off home, | ast wath the fist bit Not No, a0 stopping. ‘Come on Ere, spol ourel ‘Yeah come on6 Ewe Eve 100 ZI’ 000 Ewe Not Well ok 11 stop for he fis thee hours. Right, Where's hat video with anias ine? pao tag vdeo. Miha Jug ree asthe bone a den mont ‘het ei ar ad ck ovcgurt sowhag et chowder lees {NI he Tl iden sold be cael si serena he Thi Come pend he music Who brought tha fucking video? 1 have animals init tough ie was shit (Ph mac rom the tr of i lay comes SaULAL AMER as Acero LIKE 4 COLOUR TV, a (ON THE DOOR YOU PAID YOUR MONEY 1990s Rew o ‘THE PLACE WAS PACKED. THE FLACE Was FUNNY You Saw THE GIRLS ARIMMiMO | SMELLED THEIR HONEY ‘Te HEADS WERE HAZY THE LIMBS WERE LAZY ND ALL THE YOUNG GIRES BANCELIRE CRAZY COME OW BUT NOW ITS OVER YOU GOTTA Go HONE |THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE TO ROAM pe GaREPUL How YOU WALK THE STREETS ‘THEW RE THE MEANEST STREETS INTHE WHOLE DANN PLACE FrSIA REAL MEAN STREET FOR THE HUMAN RACE [AND THROUGH THE BLOOD AND SNOT AND SEX: SAYRE LOVERS MEET. IND ARE MARRIED NEXT Wo shikits MOVED TOROLD AND CLING IND THe CML DREN OF ENGLAND THEY STILL SING HERE WE GO, HERE WE G0, HERE WE GO HERE WE 60, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE.GO [WELL FRIDAY NIGHTS AND SATURDAYS TOO WETisn Down HERE Yes Wir YOU AND AND THE WHOLE DAMN CREW, fs THERE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO said «hip bop ‘Nip abies A hp ig hop ANB DONT you sor! ho.