Conflict Management

Conflict resolution, stress, and emotions

Conflict potentially stirs emotions which leads to feelings being hurt and can cause disappointment
and discomfort. If not dealt properly, it can cause irreparable rift and resentment. On the contrary
when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it enhances one’s understanding of the other person,
fosters trust, and strengthens the relationships.

Under the influence of stress the individual may become so out of touch with his/her feelings or so
stressed that attention is paid to a limited number of emotions. Eventually it become difficult to
communicate with others. For example, couples often argue about petty differences—the way she
hangs the towels, the way he slurps his soup—rather than what is actually  bothering them.

The ability for efficient resolution depends on the ability to:

 Manage stress while remaining being calm and aware. It facilitates accurate reading and
interpretation of verbal and nonverbal communication.

 Keeping Control on emotions and behaviour. Being in Control helps convey message

without the need to threaten, intimidate, or punish others.

 Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others.

 Be aware of and respect differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, a problem
can be resolved more quickly

To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills:

1. Quick stress relief: the ability to quickly relieve stress in the moment.

2. Emotional awareness: the ability to remain comfortable enough with your emotions to react
in constructive ways, even in the midst of a perceived attack.
Tips for managing and resolving conflict
We must ensure that the conflict resolving process is as positive as possible. This can be
achieved by following these tips and guidelines

Listen - It’s very important to listen to the other party as when we listen, we are able to connect
more deeply to our own needs and emotions and also to that of others. Listening also makes it
easier for the other party to hear use out when its our turn to speak. It also helps us better
understand the other persons side of the story.

Prioritise Conflict Resolution over “Winning the argument” or “being right” – strengthening
and maintaining the relationship should be given more importance than winning the argument.
We should respect others opinions, even if we don’t agree to it, agree to disagree!

Focus on the present – We should not hold on to past grudges, else our ability to see the reality
of the current situation becomes impaired. Rather than digging old graves and assigning blame,
we should focus on what we can do to resolve the issue.

Pick your battles – Conflicts are often stressful and draining. Thus, we should asses whether the
issue is worth our time and energy. If the issue is too trivial, ignoring it and moving on could be
the better option.

Willingness to forgive – Its impossible to resolve a conflict if one is not ready or unable to
forgive. Resolution lies in relinquishing the feeling of dislike and hate and the willingness to let
go and move on.

Let go – As stated earlier, if we are unable to come to an agreement, agree to disagree! If a

conflict is going nowhere, we can choose to disengage and move on.

Unsinging humour in conflict resolution – Many confrontations can be avoided by

communicating in a humorous manner. Humour can help one say things that might otherwise
be difficult to express without offending someone. However, we must remember to laugh with
the other person and not at them. Humour can be used to turn a conflict into an opportunity for
greater connection and intimacy