A Handbook

for Happiness

by
Richard London
"
"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

"

Copyright"©2013"by"Richard"London"
P.O."Box"184,"Matthews,"NC"28106"
rlondon@AHandbookForLife.com"
www."AHandbookForLife.com"
!

All!rights!reserved.!!No!part!of!this!book!may!be!used!or!
reproduced!by!any!means,!graphic,!electronic,!or!mechanical,!
including!photocopying,!recording,!taping!or!by!any!
information!storage!retrieval!system!without!the!written!
permission!of!the!publisher!except!in!the!case!of!brief!
quotations!embodied!in!critical!articles!and!reviews.!

! !

i"
"
 A!Handbook!for!Happiness!

Table!of!Contents!
!

Forward".................................................................................."iii"
Introduction"............................................................................"1"
What"is"Happiness?"................................................................."2"
Your"Gratitude"List".................................................................."3"
Protect"Your"Mind"..................................................................."5"
Progress"Not"Perfection".........................................................."7"
Laugh"at"Yourself"...................................................................."8"
Understand"What"You"Can"Control"......................................"10"
Like"Yourself".........................................................................."12"
Find"Your"Passion".................................................................."13"
Let"Go"of"Money"Problems"..................................................."14"
Live"With"Integrity"................................................................"15"
Make"Lists"............................................................................."16"
Take"Mini"Vacations".............................................................."17"
Give"Your"Time"Away"............................................................"18"
Summary"..............................................................................."19"
Afterward".............................................................................."21"
!

ii"
"
 Forward!
!

As! a! business! coach,! my! role! is! to!

inspire! people! to! make! positive! changes! in!
their! lives.! ! For! many,! it's! easier! to! live! a!
compromised! life! allowing! a! fear! of! the!
unknown! to! prevent! positive! forward!
movement.!!!

I've!known!Richard!London!for!over!ten!
years.!!!When!confronted!with!multiple!health!
challenges,! he! embraced! the! opportunity! to!
grow.!!He!modeled!what!it!was!like!to!live!life!
despite!physical!struggles.!!!

He!did!more.!!Got!out!there!more.!!Lived!
more.!!Now!Richard!has!completed!his!second!
book.!!!

In!A*Handbook*for*Happiness,!he!shares!
the! life! concepts,! philosophies,! and! practices!
that!have!worked!for!him.!!!

iii"
"
 Like! proverbs,! his! philosophies! are!
deceptively!simple,!yet!they!carry!a!powerful!
message!when!applied.!

Read.!!Apply.!!Repeat.!

!!!

Harvey!Smith!

Harvey! Smith! is! a! certified! Business!

Coach!and!Career!Management!coach!who!has!
engaged! almost! 2000! executives,!
entrepreneurs,!and!organizations!since!2002.!
www.CarolinaBusinessCoach.com!

iv"
"
 Introduction!

Are! you! stressed! out?! ! Have! you!

forgotten!how!to!have!fun?!!Does!it!seem!like!
you! don’t! have! enough! time! for! yourself?! ! If!
you! answered! yes! to! any! of! those! questions!
then!this!book!is!for!you.!

What!I’m!about!to!relate!is!a!philosophy!
to! help! you! find! happiness! and! fulfillment!
regardless! of! whatever! challenges! you! may!
face!in!your!life.!!!

What! qualifies! me! to! give! this! advice?!!

I’ve! had! a! lifetime! of! facing! challenges! and!
learning! how! to! be! happy! in! spite! of! life’s!
obstacles.! ! ! At! this! point! in! my! life! I’ve! had!
sixteen! surgeries,! am! a! nine! year! cancer!
survivor,! and! currently! live! with! Parkinson’s!
disease.! ! Despite! all! that! I! consider! myself!
happy!and!extremely!fortunate.!

! !

1"
"
 What!is!Happiness?!

In!my!opinion,!happiness!is!an!attitude.!!
You!can!choose!to!be!happy!in!any!situation.!!I!
believe! that! you! can! adopt! a! general!
philosophy!of!happiness!in!your!life.!!!

Abraham! Lincoln! endured! several!

crushing!blows!in!his!life!including!the!death!
of! his! mother! when! he! was! nine,! being!
foreclosed! on! by! the! sheriff,! and! more.!!
President! Lincoln! said,! “Most! people! are!
about! as! happy! as! they! make! up! their! minds!
to!be.”!!!

Helen!Keller!had!plenty!of!reasons!to!be!
bitter! about! life.! ! She! said,! “Resolve! to! keep!
happy,! and! your! joy! and! you! shall! form! an!
invincible!host!against!difficulties.”!!!

The!influential!Baptist!preacher!Charles!
Spurgeon! once! said,! “It! is! not! how! much! we!
have,! but! how! much! we! enjoy! that! makes!
happiness.”!!! !

2"
"
 Your!Gratitude!List!

You! might! have! heard! the! philosophy,!

“Happiness! is! not! what! happens! to! you.! ! It’s!
how! you! react! to! what! happens! to! you.”!!
Happiness! is! a! decision.! ! What! can! you! do! to!
help! yourself! be! happy! in! the! face! of! life’s!
pressures! and! challenges?! ! One! tool! is! a!
gratitude! list.! ! Have! you! ever! made! one?! ! Do!
you!know!how!to?!

A!gratitude!list!is!a!list!of!all!the!things!
that!you!can!think!of!that!you!are!grateful!for!
in! your! life.! ! The! items! on! your! gratitude! list!
can! include! your! health,! loved! ones,! your!
home,!your!job,!or!even!the!fact!that!you!had!
one!good!meal!today.!!!

I!find!it!helpful!to!remember!that!there!
is! always! someone! worse! off! than! me! and!
someone!better!off!than!me.!!!

Why! don’t! you! take! ten! minutes! right!

now!and!write!down!all!of!the!things!you!have!

3"
"
to! be! thankful! for! in! your! life?! ! I! think! you’ll!
be!amazed!at!how!a!little!thing!like!making!a!
list! can! fill! you! with! an! attitude! of!
thankfulness.!

Once!you!make!your!gratitude!list!read!
it!out!loud!at!least!once!a!day.!!Update!it!often!
to!keep!the!feelings!fresh.!

! !

4"
"
 Protect!Your!Mind!

In!order!to!maintain!a!positive!attitude!
it’s!important!to!guard!what!information!you!
allow!to!enter!your!eyes!and!ears.!!!

Have!you!ever!felt!really!engaged!about!
a!news!story!on!TV,!or!a!topic!people!around!
you! were! discussing?! ! We! all! feed! on! energy,!
and!that!includes!energizing!stories.!!!

The! problem! is! that! we! generally! don’t!

distinguish! between! positive! and! negative!
energy.!!When!I!was!diagnosed!with!prostate!
cancer! I! sought! out! help! in! a! cancer! support!
group.!!I!attended!just!one!meeting!and!found!
that! particular! meeting! to! be! a! real!
depression!session.!!Everyone!was!focused!on!
their! disease! and! their! problems.! ! I! never!
went!back.!!!

When!I!was!diagnosed!with!Parkinson’s!
disease! two! years! later! I! specifically! joined! a!
support!group!of!people!who!concentrated!on!

5"
"
social! camaraderie! and! didn’t! focus! on! the!
negative!aspects!of!the!disease.!!As!a!result,!I!
not! only! made! new! friends,! but! have!
developed! a! much! more! positive! outlook! on!
how!I!approach!life.!!!

Begin! to! filter! the! information! that! you!

see,!hear,!and!speak.!!If!it’s!filled!with!negative!
energy! then! change! the! channel! on! the! TV,!
walk!out!of!the!room,!or!bite!your!lip.!

! !

6"
"
 Progress!Not!Perfection!

Do! you! consider! yourself! to! be! an!

intense! and! driven! person?! ! That’s! OK.! I!
certainly!feel!that!I!am.!!!

I! used! to! think! that! I! was! perfect.! ! At!

least! I! thought! that! I! should! be.! ! Whenever! I!
made!a!mistake!I!became!frustrated!or!angry!
with! myself.! ! For! some! reason! I! expected!
perfection!in!everything!that!I!did.!

One!of!the!biggest!positive!changes!that!
I!made!in!my!life!was!allowing!myself!to!make!
mistakes.! ! I! finally! realized! that! I! was! only!
human.! ! Don’t! expect! to! be! perfect.! ! I! know!
that’s! a! hard! one! sometimes,! but! the! perfect!
person!never!existed!and!probably!never!will.!!!

When! you! start! beating! yourself! up! for!

making!a!mistake!take!a!minute!to!remember!
the!phrase,!“Progress!not!Perfection.”!

! !

7"
"
 Laugh!at!Yourself!
!

In! 1995! Dr.! Madan! Kataria! was! doing!

research! on! the! health! effects! of! stress! and!
the! health! benefits! of! laughter.! ! He! started! a!
laughter!club!in!Mumbai,!India.!!!

The!club!attendees!quickly!learned!how!
to! laugh! for! no! reason! and! enjoy! themselves.!!
Laughter!club!attendees!experienced!reduced!
stress,! and! an! increased! sense! of! happiness!
and! wellness! throughout! the! day.! ! Today!
there!are!over!8,000!clubs!in!65!countries.!

! Laughing!for!no!reason!can!seem!a!little!
strange!at!first.!!A!few!years!ago!my!wife!and!I!
took! our! daughter! to! a! laughter! club! session.!!
My! daughter! spent! the! first! ten! minutes!
laughing! at! her! parents! and! the! rest! of! the!
hour!laughing!with!us.!

When!was!the!last!time!you!had!a!good!
belly! laugh?! Do! you! remember! how! it! made!
you!feel?!!Laughter!is!good!medicine.!!!

8"
"
 Seek! out! a! laughter! club! in! your! area.!!
Just! Google! “Laughter! club”! and! your! city’s!
name.!!What!do!you!have!to!lose?! !

9"
"
 Understand!What!You!Can!Control!

Do! you! get! stressed! out! trying! to!

control! the! situations! around! you?! ! If! you!
think! about! it,! the! healthiest! attitude! is! to!
accept! what! you! can! control,! and! not! worry!
about! what! you! can’t! control.! ! That’s! easy! to!
say,!but!what’s!really!in!your!control?!

As! an! exercise,! make! a! list! of! all! the!

things! that! you! can! control.! ! Try! it! now,! but!
you! have! to! really! think! through! each!
situation.! ! Think! about! situations! at! work.!!
What!can!you!really!control!there?!!Probably!
not! much.! ! How! about! what! your! spouse! or!
children! do?! ! Can! you! control! their! actions?!!
How!about!the!rush!hour!traffic?!

If! you! really! think! about! it! the! only!

thing! that! you! can! control! is! yourself,! your!
actions,! and! how! you! react! to! the! situations!
around!you.!!

10"
"
 How! many! times! have! you! stressed!
yourself! out! trying! to! change! a! situation! that!
was!out!of!your!control?!!In!actuality,!there’s!
no! one! in! this! world! you! can! control! but!
yourself.! ! Think! about! that! for! a! moment.! ! If!
you! can! only! control! your! actions! why!
frustrate! yourself! when! other! people! do,!
think,!or!say!something!that!bothers!you?!!!

Concentrate! instead! on! what! you! can!

do.! ! I! predict! that! you’ll! not! only! be! happier,!
but!more!productive!in!the!process.!

! !

11"
"
 Like!Yourself!

Don’t!let!someone!else’s!opinion!of!you!
define! your! opinion! of! yourself.! ! As!
adolescents! we! were! all! sensitive! to! the!
opinions!of!others.!!The!problem!is!that!many!
times! we! still! rely! on! the! approval! of! others!
well!into!our!adult!years.!!!

How!do!you!react!when!people!criticize!
you?!!Are!you!immediately!defensive?!Do!you!
begin!doubting!your!actions?!

When! that! happens! ask! yourself,! “Am! I!

trying! to! do! my! best?! ! Is! what! I’m! doing!
helpful! to! others?”! ! If! so,! then! take! pride! in!
what! you! are! doing.! ! Be! happy! with! yourself!
and!the!results!of!your!work.!!!

Remember,! you! can’t! control! what!

anyone! else! does,! thinks,! or! says.! ! If! you’re!
satisfied! that! you’ve! given! your! best! effort!
that’s!all!that!counts.!

12"
"
 Find!Your!Passion!

Is! your! job! drudgery! to! you?! ! If! your!

work!is!not!your!passion!do!you!at!least!have!
a!hobby!that!you’re!excited!about?!!There!are!
few! things! that! sap! your! energy! and!
happiness!more!than!waking!up!and!dreading!
every!day.!

Find!something!you!love!to!do!and!do!it.!!
If! you! can! do! it! every! day,! great!! ! If! you! can!
only! do! it! once! a! week,! or! a! couple! times! a!
month!that’s!OK.!!At!least!you!have!something!
to!look!forward!to!on!a!regular!basis.!

Happiness! comes! from! within.! ! Find!

something!that!gives!you!true!joy!and!make!it!
part!of!your!life.!!!

If! you’re! not! sure! what! you! want! to! do!

ask! yourself! what! advice! you! would! give! a!
friend! in! your! situation.! ! You! probably!
already!know!the!answer,!so!listen!to!yourself!
and!take!your!own!advice.! !

13"
"
 Let!Go!of!Money!Problems!
!

Of!all!the!problems!people!face!in!their!
lives! money! problems! are! among! the! most!
disruptive.! ! It’s! hard! for! many! of! us! to! be!
happy!when!we’re!worrying!about!our!debts.!!
Everything!we!do!seems!to!require!money!in!
some!way.!!!

Don’t! let! financial! problems! take! over!

your! life! and! weigh! on! your! mind.! ! Put! a!
solution! in! place! to! take! care! of! your! debts,!
even! if! it! means! paying! off! only! a! small!
amount!every!month.!!!

Set! up! an! automatic! repayment! plan!

that! you! can! afford! then! put! it! out! of! your!
mind.!!Take!comfort!in!knowing!that!you!have!
a! financial! plan! in! place! and! then! find! things!
to!enjoy!in!each!day.!

! !

14"
"
 Live!With!Integrity!
!

Have!you!ever!told!a!little!white!lie!(or!
worse)!because!it!was!convenient!at!the!time?!!
Have!you!ever!felt!uncomfortable!after!doing!
something!that!you!knew!was!dishonest?!!

It’s! not! worth! the! stress! of! living! less!

than!a!completely!honest!life.!!In!the!long!run,!
it’s!self!destructive!to!live!life!deceiving!other!
people.! When! you! tell! the! truth! all! the! time!
you! don’t! have! to! remember! what! lies! you!
told!who.!

Live! your! life! with! integrity.! ! ! Senator!

Allen!Koois!Simpson!!said!it!best,!“If!you!have!
integrity! nothing! else! matters.! If! you! don’t!
have!integrity!nothing!else!matters.”!

Having!integrity!in!your!life!allows!you!
to! sleep! soundly! when! you! put! your! head! on!
your! pillow! at! night,! and! look! others! in! the!
eye!with!confidence.!!Isn’t!that!how!you!want!
to!live?!! !

15"
"
 Make!Lists!
!

Do! you! walk! around! thinking! about! all!

the! things! you! need! to! do?! ! Are! you! worried!
that!you!are!going!to!forget!something,!and!is!
that!adding!to!your!stress?!!!

If!so,!make!a!list.!Keep!a!pen!and!paper!
handy! wherever! you! go.! ! ! When! you!
remember! something! that! you! need! to! do!
write! it! down.! ! That! allows! you! to!
immediately! put! that! task! out! of! your! mind!
and!not!worry!about!it.!

When! you! have! time! to! review! the! list!

you! can! be! confident! that! everything! you!
need!to!accomplish!will!get!addressed.!

Do!you!get!overwhelmed!about!starting!
the! tasks! on! your! list?! ! Do! whatever! you!
dread!most!first.!!Get!it!out!of!the!way.!!That!
way!you!will!not!only!be!relieved!that!the!task!
is! done,! you! will! also! view! the! remaining!
tasks!as!easier!to!tackle.!

16"
"
 Take!Mini!Vacations!
!

! Are! you! a! workaholic?! ! Do! you! think!

that! the! solution! to! being! more! productive! is!
working! harder?! ! Have! you! ever! burnt!
yourself! out! because! you! were! working! too!
hard?!

! Productivity! and! happiness! go! hand! in!

hand.!!Don’t!be!afraid!to!take!time!away!from!
work!and!have!fun.!!Live!in!the!moment,!play.!!!

Take!what!I!call!mini!vacations.!!A!mini!
vacation! could! be! taking! a! walk! at! lunch,! or!
surprising! your! spouse! with! a! dinner! out.! ! A!
mini! vacation! could! be! a! three! day! weekend!
in!the!mountains!once!a!month,!or!a!daily!15!
minute!meditation.!

However! you! decide! to! take! your! mini!

vacation! put! your! heart! into! it! and! don’t! feel!
guilty! about! taking! time! off! of! work.! ! In! the!
long! run! you’ll! be! more! productive! and!
happier!because!of!it.!

17"
"
 Give!Your!Time!Away!
!

When! we! take! our! eyes! off! of! ourselves! to!

help! someone! else! we’re! able! to! put! our!
problems! in! their! true! perspective.! ! Can! you!
remember! a! time! when! you! volunteered! to!
help! someone! less! fortunate! than! yourself?!!
How!did!it!make!you!feel?!!!

Bernard! Meltzer,! the! nationally!

syndicated! radio! host! who! spent! decades! on!
the! air! helping! people! with! their! problems!
said,!“Happiness!is!like!a!kiss.!!You!must!share!
it! to! enjoy! it.”! ! I’ll! bet! that! while! you! were!
helping! someone! else! feel! better! you! forgot!
about!your!own!problems.!!!

Remember!what!I!said!in!the!chapter!on!
gratitude! lists?! ! There! is! always! someone!
worse! off! and! someone! better! off! than! you.!!
Find!an!organization!where!you!can!volunteer!
to!help!someone!else.!!I!guaranty!that!you!will!
receive!as!much!if!not!more!of!a!reward!from!
the!experience!as!the!people!you!helped.!

18"
"
 Summary!
!

• Happiness!is!a!decision.!
• Make! a! gratitude! list! of! the! things! you!
are!thankful!for!and!update!it!often.!!
• Protect! your! mind! from! negative!
influences.!!
• Don’t! expect! to! be! perfect.! ! Remember,!
Progress!not!Perfection.!
• Laugh!at!yourself.!
• The! only! person! in! the! world! you! can!
control! is! you.! ! Don’t! get! frustrated!
trying!to!control!others.!
• Don’t! judge! yourself! based! on! the!
opinions!of!others.!
• Find! your! passion! and! make! it! part! of!
your!life.!
• Live!with!integrity.!
• Let!go!of!money!problems.!
• Make! lists! to! keep! from! being!
overwhelmed.!

19"
"
 • Take! mini! vacations! to! be! more!
productive.!
• Give! your! time! away.! ! Helping! others!
increases!your!happiness.!

Do! something! that! you! enjoy! every* day.! If!

you! do! that! you’ll! be! surprised! how! much!
you’ll!enjoy!the!weeks,!months,!and!years.!

" !

20"
"
 Afterward!
"

! In! this! book! I! have! shared! some! of! the!

“bullet! points”! of! happiness! that! have! helped!
me!over!the!years.!!It’s!my!sincere!hope!that!A*
Handbook* for* Happiness! has! helped! you! put!
your!problems!into!perspective!and!find!some!
happiness!in!your!life.!

! Please! don’t! just! read! this! book! once!

and! put! it! away.! ! You’ll! probably! agree! with!
me! when! I! say! that! your! problems! won’t!
disappear!just!because!you!read!it!one!time.!!!

! This! book! is! meant! to! be! a! resource!!

that! you! can! pick! up! whenever! you! need! a!
quick! refresher! of! some! simple! ways! to!
maintain! happiness.! ! Keep! it! on! hand! to!
remind! you! that! you! control! your! own!
happiness.!

In!friendship,!

Richard!London!
"

21"
"