Brain Chemistry and Sex

The Sexual Reward System:

Desire, Sex, and the Primitive Brain

by Lawrence Lanoff

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 The Sexual Reward System

The Sexual Reward System:

Desire, Sex, and the Primitive Brain
Want to know how to make any woman addicted to you?

Interested in jump-starting a stale sex life?

Maybe you want to get your Ex back?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, keep reading – because this
section is for you.

I’m going to teach you how to hack her brain in order to become the man
she craves constantly.

Interested?

Ok, then. Let’s get started!

There are still lots of things scientists don’t understand about the brain.
However, there’s been a ton of research done on the reward system and
how it all relates to human behavior. The reward system is essential to
human pleasure.

I'm not going to get too technical, but I do want to give you an overview
about your brain and sex.

The Brain’s Reward System – Dopamine and Oxytocin

The brain’s reward system controls our ability to feel good. This is
important because feeling pleasure motivates us to repeat behaviors that
are crucial to our survival like eating, fucking, socializing – you get the
idea.

The reward system is pretty complicated and many different

neurochemicals are involved in its functioning, but there is one main
neurochemical that I want make sure you understand – dopamine.

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Learn how to tap into this neurochemical, and she will not be able to get
you out of her mind!

Dopamine (the pleasure chemical):

In the beginning of a relationship, dopamine is skyrocketing. You are

simultaneously overwhelmed with fear and pleasure. Where will this go?
Is she as into me as I’m into her?

The smallest signs that she returns your feelings make you giddy. You
can’t get enough of her. You may literally forget to eat or be unable to
sleep because you can’t stop thinking about her. All you care about is
when you can get another hit!

Everything about her turns you on.

However, as many of you know, the cruel truth of the matter is that this
kind of intensity isn’t sustainable and eventually begins to taper off the
more comfortable and familiar you become with each other.

This is due, in part, to the neurochemical oxytocin.

Oxytocin (the bonding chemical):

Both men and women release oxytocin during sexual arousal. It evokes
feelings of contentment, trust, reduces anxiety, and increases feelings of
calmness and security. These feelings are what help you let your guard
down and protect you against orgasm/boner-killing feelings like fear and
anxiety.

But it’s easy to start feeling safe and comfortable, which results in you
putting in less effort into a relationship. We’ve all done it. She starts
caring less about her appearance and you’re seeing her with no makeup
and sweats on more often than not. You start going to the gym less. Date
nights have devolved into snuggly movie nights at home. The sex is less
interesting. You feel like you practically have to beg for it most nights and
you start noticing other women more than you used to.

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You are addicted to dopamine because it makes you feel exhilarated,

excited, and alive.

It’s the reason you enjoy sex and fall in love. The purpose of oxytocin is to
balance you out so that you can also develop a deep connection with a
partner. The sad part, though, is that the more used to each other you get,
the more the novelty wears off and the less dopamine you trigger in each
other. You find yourself with a cozy, oxytocin-dominant relationship.

You want the predictability and safety and deep bonding that oxytocin
brings, but you also want novelty, which is harder to sustain in the long
term. How can we have our cake and eat it, too?!

I’m about to share with you how to trigger these chemicals in order to
GET her addicted and KEEP her addicted.

Ready?

What triggers dopamine?

Novelty, Surprise, and Triggers

1. When you introduce a new way to enjoy sex (either something a

new partner has never experienced before or something you and an
old partner have never tried before) – it can be dirty talk, phone sex
or role-playing – it’s a novelty, which means new or different.
Novelty = rise in dopamine.

2. The element of surprise. Sending a dirty text unexpectedly,

whipping out a sex toy during sex, or suddenly changing into a
‘character’ during sex are all ways to surprise her. Surprise = rise
in dopamine

3. Because dirty talk, sex toys, or role-playing are all things that lead
to sex, they will become sexual triggers, which means any of these
things will cause an instant rise in dopamine due to sex being the
predictive reward. Triggers = rise in dopamine, rise in dopamine =
more desire and more connected, hotter sex!

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More on dopamine’s response to triggers:

Risky behaviors like gambling can co-opt the reward system and drive us
to make irrational decisions that definitely are not beneficial to our
survival.

You know what I’m talking about.

It’s like when you cheat on your girlfriend and it feels so good in the
moment, but you definitely regret it the next day. That’s the reward system
at work. You are overwhelmed by pleasurable feelings in the moment
even though your rational brain says, “Don’t do it!” You just can’t stop
chasing that feeling.

Drugs like crack also co-opt the reward system. In fact, one study showed
that when given a choice, rats chose continual, self-directed electrical
stimulation to the dopamine receptors in their brain – over sex, food, and
water. They were basically electro-stimulating their brains into ecstasy.

Therefore, it appears that the reward system may be driving addictive

behavior.

Furthermore, this system can be activated by simply seeing or hearing

triggers that have been associated with pleasure in the past. For instance,
watching your favorite porn and hearing a woman moan in ecstasy can
activate the reward system. For a crack addict, simply seeing a crack pipe
will release a burst of pleasurable feelings.

Let’s now relate this knowledge to getting a woman you have just started
dating addicted to you.

First of all, you must plan dates that will stimulate her reward system.
Forget dinner dates! BORING! If you want to create an addict, you must
know how to excite her.

For instance:

 Don’t just plan a picnic. Plan a picnic, but blindfold her and guide
her down the path to the vista point where the picnic will take
place.

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 Take her skydiving (if she’s that kind of girl).

 Go to a theme park. Disney is basically set up to trigger the reward

systems.

 Take her on a hike (exercise has been shown to activate the reward
system).

 Go for a bike ride. This can be especially fun if you live near the
beach. Bike a little then stop for a cocktail at a bungalow bar.

 Go to a sex-toy shop together and pick out something you both

think would be fun to try.

 Try some role-playing, which I have elaborated on in the section

titled “Head Games.”

 Take a repelling class together.

 Go indoor rock climbing together.

 Play video games together (if she’s into that sort of thing).

 Watch an action thriller movie together that keeps you both on the
edge of your seats but that has a happy ending.

You can also apply this technique in order to sustain a healthy bond and
sex life with a long-term partner. Remember you should never stop having
dopamine-inducing, novel, exciting experiences like the ones I described
earlier with your partner. Take a trip, go to a crazy event like Burning
Man, Cochella, go camping, or try something new in bed – do anything to
get out of the old and into something new!

Now, let’s relate what you just learned to texting and dirty talk:

If you send a playful text that leads to awesome sexting that then leads to
incredible sex, over time your first playful text will trigger dopamine in
her brain. The dirty talk (and even the sound of the text alert alone) will
become a trigger.

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My girlfriend has a special ringtone for me. I know it’s there and I love to
ding it randomly from time to time. It’s unexpected and triggers her
rewards system for me.

Because you are the man that continues to trigger dopamine in her system,
she will become addicted to how good you make her feel. She will not be
able to get enough of you!

So, be careful who you use this stuff on! You don’t want lots of
unsuspecting women running around begging you for more sex. There’s
only so much of you to go around!

In the next segment, I'm going to show you how to trigger her dopamine
regularly and often. You've heard of Pavlov's dogs. I'm about to tell you
about Pavlov's pussy.