1 The Lady and “The Tyger” or William Blake’s “How I Met Your Mother” Trace Crawford “The Lady and ‘The Tyger’ or William Blake’s ‘How I Met Your Mother’” premiered at Lakeshore Players Theatre, 6th Annual 10-Minute Play Festival, June 3-6, 2010, White Bear Lake, MN. Cast: Woman—Allie Munson; Man—D,W. Surine. Directed by Brian Sherman. “The Lady and ‘The Tyger’ or William Blake’s ‘How I Met Your Mother” received its first New York production by Rapscallion Theatre Collective, 4th Annual Salute UR Shorts New Play Festival, July 8-115 2010. Cast: Woman—Blair Lewin; Man—Geoff Borman. Directed by Rachel Park.a cd ~~ as [ pao 86701 Ava CHARACTERS Man Late 20% gves off “permanent grad sudeny, Woman: Also late 20 full of eccentric, neurotic eneryy® sutra ‘Somewhere in the city. ‘The Present. (Scone: Somewhere in the city—the present—maybe its a bus sop maybe the adge of a fountain, maybe a grassy hill or even, God delve tu from rraenetsa park bench. What matters is that it houses an inde dual heeping to himself, exemplifying stiines, in an environmen that cshertse could be crowded and hectic.) (At Ruse: A man, late 20's, gives off a “permanent grad sudeu” tbe, sts reading a paperback copy of William Blake's Songs of Ine- cance and Experience. A woman, also late 20's, full of eccentric new otic energy enters and makes a bee-line straight forthe man.) woman: DON’T TOUCH ME! Man: (Quai sarded,) What? WOMAN: (Quast) I said... (Not s0 quietly.) DON'T TOUCH MEI ‘MAN; I'm not going to touch you. woman: Don't touch me. I'm telling you T don't want ro be roucbet ‘Musi: Pm not going to touch you, lady. Wat the hell's wrong wits! ‘wosan: Just don’t touch me. ‘Maw: Lady, I'm not going to touch you! Jesus! (man goat back to his reading, attempting 10 be dismiss but ing her wnusual behavior with a mis of otk pee oman slowly cross behind and around him, re et he she's salking him, then guachy ino Nya, 0b so close) o _ wry 008? : a or fascinated?) Why not what? Bi (1M aS got to touch me, You acted lke the idea of i, ae ‘of it was utterly grotesque. Surely, I'm not all he very ous vou, am I? I simply want to know why when I ana rela fro touch me, you reacted like I had told you to el one ‘massage fo your uncle. i opuled or aavused) WTDAU? oe fein did you act like the idea of making physical contact vwowiy me would be the worst thing on earth? ax ting 4 it flustered.) Lady, I don't want... would you just "[ mean... What the hell is wrong with you? oun: What the hell is wrong with me? vie Yes, what che hell is wrong with you? frou: Nothing the hel is wrong with me. ‘wy, Something has to be wrong with you. I was just sitting here by myself, minding my own business, not bothering anyone, then you came running over, screaming at the top of your lungs, and Practically pounced on top me. ‘wouwn: (Rising, as well. Perhaps on her hands and knees.) Pounced! wont like that. Pounced! Pounced like a tiger! Wow: Pounced like a... Beat.) “une, tyger, 5 sac et 706 burning bright! Wonan: moet towards him.) Pounced like a “tyger, tyger, burning MAN: (Ener OU: “Type oe ‘ansious,) What are you talking about? Wiliam Brewer Ourning bright. In the forests of the night.” sa ean Blt. Your book. Baa ne Mage a cw laugh) Ob. Yoah.THE BEST JO-MINUTE py 100 204, you... and you're kinda freakiny vt ow Look, I don't to sit by myself and read, s,, there, I just want 6 place me Yo wont: You want tobe left alone by me, ast: Yes ‘wos You want me to go away and leave you alone and nevering to nee me agin suas: Lady, that's not what— ‘wowan: You want me to go away, disappear off the face ofthe ean, walk off of cif of off the top of a building or something and ‘ver, eer, show my face here again, save: Now, | didn't say that I wanted — ‘wousst You widh that while I was walking away from you, dejected 1nd despondent, I was hit by « bus and knocked unconscious ‘Thea, as they were attempting to breathe life back into my bruised and broken body, a stampeding herd of water buf, ‘ something, came long and trampled me into the ground, ‘mizing my, by now disfigured, carcass in with all ofthe garbage wad sewage and everything else in the street that no one wants ‘0 laim as theit own, until my remains were eventually tra ‘under and rendered into absolute nothingness by the chen al eddies at a water treatment plant, a: What the vn ey he l'on you, 1 tl be in that wate and het Grad rt Bo the htchen and turn on the sink to 'WHAMMO! I'd be inside you—actually physic” ba be last forever, mixed in with your ee MAX: (Boat) What tb rong with peed you could never get r woman (S, ; neta fim again.) I bet chen you'd wish that yoo MAN: ear, " owas Wigs OME YOU did’ want to be touched. it tot nutes ago you were just screaming about not want- 1 Ente Like couched. ‘ng 19 sure? Are or course I'mi—What?— to lave.) i a ‘as wall.) Calm down, calm down. vorbis do you mean, calm— vax: OK, 100k evel with you. (dh the serious?) “That's just my conversation starter. sus: Your conversation — owas: (Tnerrupting,) Starter. (Abrurdy sor.) Sstauaganaarrrrrrrteceeeerttrrtrt, (Normal again.) My conversation starter. I use it sometimes to help break the ice when I see « person that I think looks like they could be inter- esting, a Really? vous: Really. 4x: (Beat) That could quite possibly be the strangest thing I've ver heard, ‘Wonase: Seriouly? How s0? “as: You mean you actually go up to people and scream at them 0 womet¥0U alone in order to get them to pay attention to you? mA: That makes no sense. MAN Sure it does, San: How? “OWE How di OM: ones octn’t it? Reverse psychology. Look, x re talking cnn we? Would we still be having this conversation if I had "Where me UP to you politely and said something trite like lerored spe MAME?” oF something? I don’t think sa. You'd have © OF gotten up to leave, or whatever. bly charming.)Bat, 0 wo happens, you lestead paid attention um Iceman nig ORG CoRVer BUR men ani: (Beat, Then, he defoaes malting, sting Buch don any mg...) There m definucy something wrong with yoy. th woman: Why? fast because I didn't follow the prescribed i vereation sort Just because I choose to live outside of, lines of « typical “bow we met” story? How sad is it thar ge renal mut moan that there's something wrong with nee aoe Hs met put that you were original. Your whole atitude gy. mesnor i just screams... “off.” * woman: (Bast. Then quickly...) Well, I don’t think so. ant (Boot. Genumely mergued by her.) So why touching? woman (Fagume ignorance, perhaps trying to charm.) Hm? Ate you ‘taltang wo me? Man, (Langhong, deepite himself.) Yes, of course I'm talking to you, wouust, Fort waniad to be sure. ‘Max. So why touching? Why did you scream about not ‘wanting me ‘te touch you? You could have come at me yelling about anything ‘that you wanted. Why did you choose to scream about being ‘souched? ‘woman To put x simply, because touching someone instantly ges Fgh Wo the comer of who they are. Mae 1 dom wee. ‘romuat There in no possible way to make a stronger connection be- frees two people than with the simple act of touch. Layiat pnt ‘Malang phyucal contact with another. It goes right can We aM being. Makes a bond stronger than words et — ‘could tlt fo an hour and even have amazingly sti” ital cog, ren wt but in that incredibly brief moment at wena endo bug a we part othe. te He ola at her uachly,) eect Somtecton w made between our souls # MW Ate You serwony we could have said. WOM OF counet te v 0 acon 103 eret ene can move mountains. Why? Why i that one agi: Tot “pomomental that ican actualy str your soul? sep Oe ch? we one ') The power of touch! (Boat) you like Blake? wax: Sut like about him, “Tol me what you 10 Wine ou arsay mentioned this poem earn”) Tyger"... Hove how he explores the... contradictory re rpc that wel in this case a tger—but really for that mat ta; any situation where you take a personal risk can generate You're terrified, repelled. But also at the same time... trans- fied by its beauty and power. It's like staring directly into a per fect storm. (Baas, as he looks directly at the woman. Why does she make im 10 uncomfortable?) ‘And he proves his point by using language that can have multi- ple meanings, so the more you read it, the more you realize that all of your reactions—the repulsion and the attraction—are both genuine and true. It’s beautiful. (1s he tabbing about the poem or her?) Ob, and he does it with style. Take the line, “What the hand, (are seize the fire?” In just seven words, he shows us the danger, but abo the excitement, involved in taking risks, especially risks ‘Sat involve connecting with someone who's new... of dilfr- “Att Pevonally, my favorite has always been Gibran, You know Prophet? He lived in Greenwich Village and wrote these othe Sod Poems about the nature of love and sruif. Well, one leg Ane be writes about is love at first sight. He says that ining, ¢ antction between the souls of two people. An inter that cor CIDE Of the spirits in an electric way, and unless ‘eotcad to eng iAd® inetantiy, it never, even after yeas canTHE BEST TO-MINUTE py, 8 acy uncomfortable pause.) all strange conversatio wet, 14 boner goes not inthe or bus por whatever) mk now. rena ioe) (Buanding) Wait ros. Tiem around. Coy Exit) Yeeseeesss? uae: (Crouing 1 hr) 1, Well, Iwas wondering... Wouldnous ‘you like. go get coffee or something, I mean, ifyou don’t hne somewhere urgent you need to— wonuat: You. (Pir, iy bane.) 1 eae, there was this fire that I was going to go ty w xe soe town. (Quite serious now,) ‘bot heres one heating up right here that I'd like to keep my ¢ n.46 yes. Yeu, would love to go get coffee or something th you, ant You know, tia has go to be the oddest way I've met somebody Sa omy genie life, wouan: I don't know, (Bh vahes bis hand. Slowly, HE looks at their now clasped fende~at la touching-~ thon to har, feeling the electri” wera ‘hom Thay both emile.) erate Aoding hands a tay “burn hoek Look at Me susan Westfall Look At Me was originally produced by City Theatre for ‘ta annual Summer Shorts Festival, June 3-27, 2010, at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of ‘Miami-Dade County, Miami, Florida, Cast: Eddie— Scott Genn; Celia—Breeza Zeller. Directed by Avi Hoft- ‘man. Stephanie Norman, Producing Artistic Director, tos