Nick Duffin

3/30/2020
Acting (Monday Section)
Enchiridion & Acting
The main point of The Enchiridion, the idea that we must let go of that which is out of

our control, really resonates with me on a number of levels. Firstly, just as a person, this has been

a tough lesson to learn. That which is out of my control has caused me a great deal of anxiety,

among other things. Life is always full of unknowns and doubts, and we really do have to do our

best to not let those things occupy our thoughts. For me, one of the biggest things connected to

this has been the idea of expectation. This is something else that Epictus really understands,

saying that we ought to go with the flow rather than fight it. It can be so hard to let go of what we

expect of our lives, and especially directly from ourselves. But if we just hold onto that which we

expect should be the case, we will likely find ourselves and the world falling short of those

expectations. To let go of things outside our control, and go with the flow allows us to relieve

ourselves of things like perfectionism, and (to a degree) self criticism that can be torturous, and

suck out so much of the joy that can be present in the creative process. I know that I personally

struggled with thinking I was being self aware, when really I was being self critical. I think that

we grow more effectively, and in a way that feels better when we can approach things this way.

In acting I think Epictus’ concepts apply in many ways. This approach helps us to take the focus

off of ourselves, given that so much of the things we concern ourselves with are about how it

will affect us. We often worry about how we look to our audience or our peers, however this is

something we cannot control. How someone else perceives us cannot be controlled, so if we can

let that go, it opens us up to so much more of what is happening in a given scene. This approach

also allows us to resist the urge to act in a way that is dependent on what we are getting back
from our scene partner(s). We cannot truly control what they give to us, only what we give to

them. Lastly, this approach directly feeds our goal of living truthfully moment to moment. If our

focus can be brought off of that which we cannot control, and brought onto each moment, we can

live more fully in that moment. Additionally, if we are most focused on our actions as they are,

and not how they are perceived, then we can live more truthfully within each of those moments.

This way, we can approach each scene and theatrical moment in a way that serves our goals

more steadfastly, achieving Epictus’ idea of attaining that which is desirous.

This year has been full of growth opportunities, one of the biggest being Sid the Serpent

Who Wanted to Sing. One of my favorite parts about preparing the Strongman for Sid was that I

was finally able to get out of my head. In preparing music and productions in the past, I always

found myself getting so caught up in what I was scared to mess up that I wasn’t truly engaging

with the process. In this case, the music was very upbeat and accessible, so I didn’t find myself

doubting what was coming next like I used to. Also, as we moved through the process, I really

did feel like I was living truthfully moment to moment. The way we had staged each scene felt

very natural, which gave me a path to follow that felt very true. This production really showed

me how being out of my head, and really engaged with the process makes a huge difference in

the end product, and the process as a whole.

Another lightbulb moment that made an impact for me was during our gridwork. The day

that we worked on tempo, we were asked to move at different tempi, on a scale of 0-10. The first

lightbulb moment came from being told to move at a 1, 2, and 3. I hadn’t really been attuned to

how slowly I could move while still moving consistently. As we moved up through the scale of

tempi, I found it really impactful to have to rediscover the slower tempi, and remember what
each felt like without having the adjacent number there to compare it to. Being able to go from

10 to 3 to 7 to 1 to 5 to 9 was actually incredibly difficult, but told me a lot about the different

ways I can move. There are a whole lot of choices available to us!

Our recent activity of repetition also had a great impact on me. Aside from the fact that I

inadvertently made Pat cry, I really had fun with this exercise. It was not easy, because it is

really hard to react to what someone says about you without thinking about that comment in

terms of yourself and your self image. But as I began to let that feeling go, I started to really

understand what it meant to take the focus off of myself, and put it onto someone else. This

approach helped me a ton in preparing the staging for our scenes. I would get my classic

feedback from Prof. Major: “I don’t believe you!” So I decided to turn all of my attention to my

scene partner, and it made a world of difference. Rather than figuring out how to do each of the

things I was scripted to do, I was reacting to what my partner was doing. I didn’t have to think so

hard about being convincing, and instead I was living and responding more truthfully. And it

worked, I was told it was much more convincing and realistic, and it felt heaps better on my end

as well.

Overall, this year so far has been super meaningful for me. I find each of our lessons

making its way into my repertoire little by little. As I see the dots connecting, I can see my music

and acting opening up in fantastic ways. And I think what Epictus has to teach us has helped in

these ways also. I feel more grounded not only in myself as an actor, but as a person too.