Shelbie Reynoso

FHS 2400
Question: Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question,
"How do you know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help,
you may interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the
factors predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such as
background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have predicted the
quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially important for you?
Why?
Answer:
If my child or best friend came up to me and asked how to know if you’re ready for
marriage, I would ask if the person they are thinking of marrying has the same characteristics or
prototypes (Strong & Cohen, 2014). I would also ask them if the person they are wanting to
marry has “the same personal and group characteristics” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 280). Or if
the “person has different personal or group characteristics” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 280). If
the person they want to marry has different characteristics than them I would bring up that some
of the characteristics may clash and cause communication and conflict. I would ask how they
would deal with the conflicts that may happen. They can deal with small basic conflicts , or
nonbasic conflicts (Strong & Cohen, 2014). The “basic conflicts revolve around marital roles,
functions of marriage and family” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 248). “Nonbasic conflicts do not
strike at the heart of a relationship” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 248).
I would also talk about both partners' past and ask if they are fine with how their past
was. If they both come from “different backgrounds that may [incline to specified attitude,
action, or condition] them to poorer communication” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 238). I would
tell them “different factors [they have with their partner may] become more or less important to
their relationship development” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 288).
Looking at my past relationships I can tell that I am mostly homogamy (Strong & Cohen,
2014). I prefer having a partner with the same personal and group characteristics. I personally
believe that having a similar past helps bring and connect two people. I do not care about the
race or ethnicity of my partner. It matters about their values and beliefs towards a relationship.
Their characteristics are very important to me and a relationship in my opinion. You cannot be
with a person who doesn’t share some characteristics. Even having one similar characteristic can
build a whole relationship that can last and be very strong. “Sharing common experiences, and
understanding” (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 279) is also very important to me and a relationship
and its strength.
Shelbie Reynoso
FHS 2400
References
Strong, B., & Cohen, T. F., (2014). The marriage and family experience. Mason, Cengage.