Domestic Abuse

WHEN Fatema Sohail published a disturbing account of physical,

mental and verbal abuse that she suffered allegedly at the hands
of her husband, actor Mohsin Abbas Haider, it came as a shock to
many. Yet her words were simply an echo of what millions of
women suffer silently within their homes all over the world.
Unlike in other countries, however, police cases are rarely
registered against the abusers in Pakistan, due to the perpetuation
of a culture of shame and silence. On her Facebook account, and
then later at a press conference, Ms Sohail recounted several
instances of cruelty and battery by her husband, where she was
“dragged”, “kicked” and “punched” violently, including,
shockingly, when she was three months’ pregnant with their child.
Given that women here are often not believed when they speak up
about injustice and abuse, she displayed photographs of her
bruises for the world to see as hard ‘evidence’ of the crime. Some
within the show business industry also corroborated her account,
while many vocalised their support for her as well as for other
victims of domestic violence. It takes a great deal of courage and
strength to come forth with such stories in our society, where
matters like these are quickly hushed up and brushed under the
carpet. Regrettably, suffering is normalised as part of the
experience of being a ‘good woman’. Indeed, violence against
women is also normalised in film and television. So amongst all
the outpouring of support, there were the expected comments
from the self-appointed upholders of ‘tradition’ telling her to not
discuss ‘matters of the home’ in public — ill-begotten ‘advice’ that
most Pakistani women have had to endure after suffering
unforgiveable violence against their body and spirit — while
others questioned her truthfulness and her account of events.
The fact is that those who abuse once will do it again — over and
over again — and women from all social strata are vulnerable to it.
Fatema Sohail is extremely brave to leave a situation that was
dangerous for her and her child, and for taking a stand against the
worst of patriarchy. Hopefully, her actions will encourage other
women in a similar situation to do the same, to not blame
themselves nor accept blame by others for the behaviour of men
who should do better. It is time to speak up, and this is the right
time to begin the conversation against domestic abuse.