$

 Condom

$0/%0.
A barrier device typically used during
Flavored
Great for oral
sex.
Dotted
intercourse to prevent a man’s sperm To rub her
from ever reaching a woman’s egg, vaginal walls
therefore reducing the dreaded with, giving
possibility of conception by as much as her extra
98 percent. As some of you may know, pleasure.
conception leads to things like fetuses,
babies, and the end of a life free of care
and willy-nilly pleasures. This is partly
the reason why the Church has always
considered the innocent condom as a
gift from the devil himself. An ancient
gift at that—because the condom has
been in use for 400 years, the earliest
of which were made from animal
intestine.
ILLUSTRATIONS: SMARTIN COSME TJAMES ANDRES

05)&3
64&4

Party balloon Tourniquet Mini-whip Thief mask

Like the penis which it
covers, condoms can
expand from flaccid
to awesome with one
committed blow.
Condoms are made of With its elastic nature, Good for attempting to
a stretchy material that you can pull on one look like a bank robber,
allows it to be used as end, and let it crack. whether for real or
an emergency medical during a kinky role-
implement in case the playing session.
sex gets too wild and
you lose a limb in the
process.