Rebekah Wilkins

A. Brousseau

COMM 1010

23 February 2020

           Being introduced to a different aspect of the people that deal with my interactions every

day was not something that typically crosses my mind. After interviewing three people in

different social situations, many analyses arose displaying my skills as a communicator. I

questioned my mother, Vanessa, of whom I communicate with at several points throughout the

day. The second person who underwent an interview was my boyfriend of 3 years, Chewek, who

I also interact with throughout the day. The last person that I assessed was my coworker,

Stephanie, that I have worked with for 1 year. These interviews resulted in many tips and

perspectives such as clarity, simplicity, and patience in my words and demeanor that will aid me

in correcting the issues that I possess in my communication today. 

I. How am I at articulating my needs, opinions, views, or concerns?

  Vanessa (Mother) explained that she occasionally sees a struggle in communicating my

concerns and needs. She elaborated on this point explaining that although I might not explicitly

state my concerns vocally, she can usually tell by my facial expressions or demeanor when there

I am holding back my words. However, she did note that around family, I am more open at

expressing my opinions and views on matters such as chores and other family conflicts without

much hesitation. 
  Chewek made a clear point that my communication with him has improved throughout

our relationship. He did notice a gradual transition of comfort expressing my needs and concerns

to him and states that I am disclose more concerns with him now than I ever had. He expressed

that I am very open to communicating my opinions, concerns, and needs although he

occasionally must pry the words out on difficult topics. 

 Stephanie noticed the high levels of discomfort I possess when I may have a concern or

need at work. She mentioned that when my boss or other superiors give me certain tasks that

might be out of my job description or I do not have the resources to accomplish the work, I

hesitate turning the work away and find ways to complete the work despite struggling. However,

she did explain that if we didn't speak as often as we do at work, that she would not notice that I

was uncomfortable completing these tasks. She also noted that if I were to ask my other

coworkers who I do not have very developed relationships with, they would most likely say that

I am more open with my needs, and concerns because I barely address them.

  The results of this question average that I am somewhat decent at articulating my needs,

views, opinions, and concerns but struggle with it on occasion. These results somewhat line up

with my perception of my communication skills. I felt that my communication was stronger with

my family than anybody else. My coworker's response did not surprise me as I tend to be very

submissive in the workplace. I was a little surprised with my mother's response. I feel that I am

very open with her about my needs and concerns but as she explained that she can determine my

concerns through my expression and body language, I realized that I might not have been talking

as much as I should be.

  A goal that has arisen from these projects is to become more vocal about my needs and

opinions. I was a little disappointed as I mentioned above that I was not as open with my mother
as I was with my boyfriend but with this experiment, I hope to be able to use her words to

enhance the skill so that she is not left to guess my thoughts.

II. How am I as a listener?

  Vanessa explained that she sometimes feels that I have selective hearing. She says that it

has improved over the last several years but feels that I still have it presently. When it comes to

emotional situations, Vanessa felt that I was very open to her words and would listen to what she

was trying to explain. She also mentioned that during arguments, I listen to what others have to

say but forget it soon after.

  Chewek mentioned that it appears as if I zoned out when he speaks sometimes. He also

stated that if he is talking about something that does not interest me or seems important, I also

don't listen fully either. However, he did mention that during more emotional conversations and

when he is addressing his concerns, I am better at listening.

  Stephanie mentioned that it does seem like I dose off a little or get distracted by my

surroundings at times during conversations. Along with everyone else she mentioned that

although we have had very few serious conversations, during those conversations, I seem to be

attentive to what she is saying.

  This question resulted in bringing my poor listening skills to light. I learned that I am a

good listener when people need me to be but am a poor listener when people want me to be a

good listener. I was aware that I do get distracted during conversations at times. However, I

didn't realize I did it as much as I do. All three mentioned that I am a good listener when they

need someone to help with their issues or frustrations but when it comes down to hearing their

stories or telling me something funny, they saw on social media, I don't listen very well.
  My analysis also lined up with these results. I was expecting to be a mediocre listener but

I ended up feeling like a poor listener. My self-assessment score was also somewhat low and

reflects how I am as a listener. Now that I have become more aware of my listening skills, I am

sure that I will use this input to improve these skills to make communication more pleasurable

with me.

III. What aspects of my nonverbal behavior are effective? What can be improved?

  My mom mentioned that my face is very telling about my feelings and thoughts. She

states that my face is an open book and can easily be read by almost anyone. She also notices

that in public spaces, I seem tenser but try to hide my tenseness with a small smile. Something I

forgot I do in which she brought up in our conversation is that whenever I don't want people to

approach me, especially salespeople, I look down or put on a serious face to send the message

that I do not want to be approached. To improve my nonverbal behavior, she thinks that I should

be more open and less anxious about what others think. She stated that if I am not interested in a

product, to turn the salesmen down and that my awkward demeanor in public spaces make things

even more awkward. She thinks that if I walk around with more confidence, it will prevent

people from being uncomfortable with me and prevent me from being uncomfortable around

others.

Chewek mentioned that I always have a smile and it might occasionally make people

uncomfortable or feel like I "faking" it. He also agreed with my mother in the sense that my

facial expressions explain exactly how I am feeling or what I want to have done which he thinks

is a beneficial skill to have even when the expression is negative. He feels that the only thing I

can improve on is flashing a smile when I mean it so that people do not get the wrong

impression.
 Stephanie along with the other two interviewees agreed that I do smile too much at times

that it might be giving the impression that I am unhappy but trying to hide it. She also noticed

that when I am uncomfortable with someone at work, I tend to pull myself to the very back

corner of the desk and will shake my head with the answers. She says that it seems pretty

noticeable to others that I am uncomfortable and in turn, makes others uncomfortable. She said

that I can improve on "faking it to make it." She said that if I do not want people to know I am

uncomfortable or want to have better customer service skills, I need to be able to handle those

situations with confidence instead of hiding in the corner of our desk. 

  I learned that my idea of my non-verbal communication displays all of my feelings. I did

think that I would be able to hide some of my negative feelings with a smile and thought I was

doing somewhat decent in covering those feelings and appearing more confident. After hearing

their answers to the question, I realized that this was not always the case. I think that Stephanie's

comment "fake it to make it" was a great way to out it. Although I want all of my communication

to be genuine and honest with people, I do not think that will go over well when my clients who

might be annoying at the moment get the sense that I am annoyed or when my mom wants me to

do the dishes and she can sense my irritation with the dirty dishes. 

I was really surprised that my smile was brought up by all three people. I did not think

that it was that obvious but reflecting on it, I understand what they are saying. I don't recall

seeing someone smile for hours on end. Using their answers, I will work on my demeanor. I

think that it would be a very beneficial skill to maintain a positive demeanor even though there

might be some negative feelings. Even beyond this interview, this is a topic that my boyfriend

brings up with me. 

IV. What are my communication strengths?

 Vanessa mentioned that when I am communicating, our conversations are full of life

when I speak and interact with her or others in her presence, besides the occasional lack of

listening, I devote a large quantity of interest and passion. She also mentioned that I usually

speak to others with high respect and empathy.

Chewek mentioned that I can interpret the surroundings and the group of people that we

are interacting with and can communicate with people very well once I become comfortable. He

also mentioned that I work with people and occasionally overelaborate to make sure they

understand what they need to do. 

Stephanie mentioned that when people have questions at our work, I will explain things

to them step by step and verify that they have a proper understanding before sending them off.

She also noted several instances where department are does not cover their question, but I take

the time to listen to them in depth so that I can direct them to the proper place to avoid the "run-

a-round." She compared these traits to herself where she mentioned that she usually keeps thinks

simple and people will come back still lost whereas no one ever comes back after I explain to

them where to go.

 I learned that I am very open and aware of the people I come in contact with. I think that

openness to every unique situation is one of the best features of communication. I think that the

interview's responses align with what I responded with on the self-assessment. Along with

everything else, I do not usually think that these traits are noticeable or that important but as I

spoke with the interviewees, it became apparent that this is something people might observe. 

 Seeing that my interviewee's observations are like what I feel are my strengths have

shown me that people are more observant than I think. It makes me excited that I might be

encouraging people to also do the same and realize their strengths. I think the ability to be
adaptable and helpful/mindful to others can be beneficial and less time consuming for both

parties. 

V. What are my communication weaknesses?

Vanessa admitted that my biggest weakness is losing patience. She explained that

sometimes when I am not understanding or correctly interpreting the words coming out of

someone's mouth, I tend to get a little irritated or just completely close off halfway through a

sentence. She also states that I do not take a second look at clarifying what I misinterpreted and

instead just take in the first part and ignore the rest.

Chewek suggested that my biggest weakness is clarity. He says I tend to include many

unnecessary details, backstories, and present stories that tend to distract the general point of the

original story. He said "For example, the storyline is that you drove to Walmart to get some ice

cream and came back home and enjoyed it. But you mention what time of day it was when you

had the craving for the ice cream, what time and who was outside when you got into the car, how

many people cut you off on the way there, where you parked in the parking lot, how many

different flavors you contemplated, who you ran into at the store, how long the check out line

took, which road you decided to drive home on and the traffic on all routes, and then you will

regress to your first time trying that ice cream flavor and how many times you have had it since

that point in time, and then you'll talk about another story you had at Walmart. By the end, I

forgot the whole point of the story." 

Stephanie stood strong with the first question being my weakness. She thinks that it

would be more beneficial to my relationship and happiness with my position if I was vocal about

my feelings, needs, and concerns. She feels that to become a better communicator, that is one of

the key points is to be able to openly address any concerns one might have. 
  I learned that even though my weaknesses varied between responses, they are all

important issues that need to be improved to progress my relationships with everyone and make

communication enjoyable for both parties. My perception was mainly concerned about the fact

that I would easily tell little white lies to make people happy not realizing that it could result in

negative consequences until it was too late. Seeing these different responses than mine, I have a

few things to work on and am excited to do so.

Hearing Chewek's explanation annoyed me at first but after letting it sink in and hearing

what my mother's thoughts on my weaknesses were a few hours beforehand, I realized I needed

to clarify what he was saying and realize that it was a joke that represented the way I do interact

with people. After thinking about his words, I realized it was true because I caught myself doing

it earlier while making breakfast and speaking to my brother.

VI. What is it like to have a conversation with me?

 Vanessa stated that conversations with me are interesting because I always have a story

to tell and can keep the conversation going for a little while. She states that I at times will make

sure she doesn't need help with anything. She also expressed that despite any of my strengths and

weaknesses, I "visit" her words passionately and will attempt to share powerful meanings and

responses.

 Chewek states that I laugh frequently at our conversations whether it is good or bad. He

mentioned that this feature is a side weakness but also a strength that despite my mood, I will

respond with a giggle or laugh often throughout our conversations. He also stated that even

though I giggle throughout the conversations, I also maintain a level of seriousness during

serious conversations and a level of joy when I am extremely happy. He recalled some of the

first conversations we had before we started dating and mentioned that I was very awkward, to
begin with, but states that I have changed majorly in not only our relationship but with the

conversations in class or at work.

 Stephanie mentioned that I have very light-hearted conversations. She states that I am

very strong in making sure everything is right whether that is at-home situations or at work

emails but that I try not to have too many serious conversations. She also mentioned that I a lot

of advice, even if it was not needed after conversations.

 I learned that all three people agreed that I speak with strong emotion behind my words

but don't take everything on a serious note. My mom mentioned that I am also willing to help as

needed and will offer my services often. Chewek mentioned the giggling which I also did not

know I did until after it was brought up to me in this interview. I noticed that it happens in

situations where I am more nervous than usual, but it also happens when I feel extremely

comfortable with my surroundings.

  My perception is that I tend to try to cater to people's needs. I thought this is something I

did often, and I still feel like I do even though it wasn't entirely brought up by any of the

interviewees. I think the giggling would be something that I should work on to prevent people

from thinking that I am taking away the emotion from a deeper conversation.

 This assignment was very beneficial to me in many ways. I think being able to look at my

communication skills from the standpoint of other important people in my life was a good way to

fully see how I am and how I can fix my setbacks and enhance what I already have. It was

interesting to see the differing views on my communication skills from not only interviewees but

form my assessments as well. 

  This assignment has also benefitted me in the form of having more patience. Since each

individual socializes in different ways, I think that learning and monitoring my patience levels
will improve my conversations with the people around me. I will have a better understanding of

what they are hearing and seeing when they are speaking with me and I can learn how to better

accommodate their needs. Overall, I would look through these conversations I had that they

might not have mentioned and the things they did address to help me with my communication

skills with my family and friends.