TARTUFFE 

 
DORINE (from page 33) 
Yes, so he tells us; and, Sir, it seems to me 
Such pride goes very ill with piety. 
A man whose spirit spurns this dungy earth 
Ought not to brag of lands and noble birth; 
Such worldly arrogance will hardly square 
With meek devotion and the life of prayer. 
... But this approach, I see, has drawn a blank; 
Let's speak, then, of his person, not his rank. 
Doesn't it seem to you a trifle grim 
To give a girl like her to a man like him? 
When two are so ill-suited, can't you see 
What the sad consequence is bound to be? 
A young girl's virtue is imperiled, Sir, 
When such a marriage is imposed on her; 
For if one's bridegroom isn't to one's taste, 
It's hardly an inducement to be chaste, 
And many a man with horns upon his brow 
Has made his wife the thing that she is now. 
It's hard to be a faithful wife, in short 
To certain husbands of a certain sort, 
And he who gives his daughter to a man she hates 
Must answer for her sins at Heaven's gates. 
Think, Sir, before you play so risky a role. 
 
   
MEAN GIRLS 
 
Cady:  
Hey! 
 
Regina:  
Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 
 
Cady:  
I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 
 
Regina:  
She's so pathetic.  
Let me tell you something about Janis Ian.  
We were best friends in middle school.  
I know, right? It's so embarrassing.  
I don't even... whatever.  
So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous.  
But then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him.  
Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". 
And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?".  
So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Janis, I can't invite you 
because I think you're a lesbian".  
I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party.  
There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits.  
I mean, right?  
She was a lesbian.  
So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded.  
And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the 
fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on 
crack.  
Oh my God! I love your skirt, where did you get it?   
GYPSY 
 
Louise 
Nobody laughs at me! Because I laugh first, at me! Me, from Seattle! Me, with no education! Me, 
with no talent, as you kept reminding me my whole life! Well, Mama, look at me now! I’m a star! 
Look! Look how I live! Look at my friends! Look where I’m going! I’m not staying in burlesque! I’m 
moving! Maybe up, maybe down! But wherever it is, I’m enjoying it! I’m having the time of my life, 
because for the first time, it is my life! And I love it! I love every second of it, and I’ll be damned if 
you’re gonna take it away from me! I am Gypsy Rose Lee! And I love her! And if you don’t, you can 
just clear out now!