Freemasonry, Fraternity, and Friendships

“The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the
feeling of being unwanted, uncared for, and deserted by everybody.”
Mother Teresa

As we sit in lodge our eyes are often drawn to the pictures of our esteemed past
Worshipful Masters that line both sides of the room. Almost half of the pictures are
marked with a black ribbon as a tribute, and acknowledge that these fine men have passed
on to what we call the celestial lodge. Their pictures are a reminder that our time here on
earth is limited, and that others have walked much the same path through the Masonic
rites that we do today.

I respect these men, not because of their contributions to the craft, but simply
because they struggled with the same issues that each one of us must also confront in our
own lives. Although I have never met them or even been told about their lives, I have no
doubt that one or more of them suffered the loss of a child, the loss of a life partner,
humiliation, fear of war, a loss of income, fear of failure, loneliness, desperation,
sickness, hopelessness, etc. I have no doubt that they suffered these things, because
these are all human conditions. If we live – as the Buddha said – we suffer. But why
would I discuss this when discussing our fraternity? What does Freemasonry have to do
with life struggles?

Each meeting, I walk into the lodge and am greeted by my brothers. We smile
and offer a friendly handshake before taking our seats. Many of us know each other on a
superficial level, and at least some of us have even gotten to know each other on a much
deeper level. The lodge is a place of geniality and friendship – a place to forge bonds
over a common interest and shared goals.

But what about the younger brother sitting in the corner? And what of the older
gentleman who has been helped to his seat but sits quietly alone throughout the meeting?
What are their hardships? What is their past? Has this one lost a wife or a child? Is that
one afraid that he will outlive his income? Is this one a single parent? Was that one
raised without a father or mother? Has that one been neglected by family? Does this one
have a family member stricken by disease or mental illness? Can this one no longer
afford his medication? As a retired social worker, I could go on and on, and on.

Am I being an alarmist? I don’t think so. I used to live in a small neighborhood

of 60 or so homes. One day I made a list of what I knew about my neighbors. My notes
were enlightening. In four homes there were individuals who were being treated for
cancer. In five homes the homeowner had lost their partner. In three homes people were
struggling with enormous debt. In one home a family member was totally paralyzed at
the age of seventeen. In another home a family struggled with an autistic child. In four
homes family members suffered from some form of mental illness. The owners of four
homes had been divorced, and two homes struggled with children with severe behavioral
problems. In fact, it seemed as if no one was untouched by significant life problems.

So, am I being an alarmist? No, I am merely pointing out what we would all
admit if we were to give it a bit of thought - Life is often difficult for each of us, and
sitting across from us and to either side is a fellow human being facing similar difficulties
on a day to day basis.

We often sit in lodge fretting over the mechanics of ritual, or the allegorical
nature of our ceremonies, but far too often forget about the brother sitting at our side. We
cocoon ourselves sitting in cliques satisfied that a simple handshake or nod of the head is
sufficient. Can’t we do more? I have no answers, but am eager to hear your opinions.

Respectfully submitted,

Bro. Tavit Smith