You Can Do It!

You say, how could I ever love myself enough to get what I want? Well, as a
matter of fact, you can and you did. When you were two months old you loved
yourself. But you let parents, teachers and preachers change your mind.

As a baby you were a powerful creature. You had no skills or education but you
knew exactly what you wanted and you felt entitled to get it. As a result, you got it.

At two months you didn’t talk – but if you could have, do you think you would
have said to your parents, “Look, I know that I’m a pain and I cause you a lot of
inconvenience. And I may not be deserving and I feel terrible for asking – but if
it’s not too much trouble, can someone get me a drink?” You wouldn’t have! So
why do it now?

Babies have a healthy self-appreciation. As a result babies get what they want
when they want it. If you want to live a charmed life you need to think more like
you did when you were two feet tall. You deserved love and nurturing when you
were born and you deserve it now. Too many people get the idea that unless they
are as clever or as smart or as handsome or as highly paid or as sporty or as witty
as other people they know, they are undeserving of love and respect.

Too rarely do we focus on our real inner beauty. We let others convince us that
we are unworthy. We buy into the idea that we are sinners. We become self-
critical, believing that self-criticism is humility. SELF-CRITICISM ISN’T
HUMILITY – IT IS STUPIDITY.

Do you recall watching boy meets girl movies? As the boy and girl struggled
through thick and thin, you hoped and prayed that everything would work out. He
went to war, she left home, he came back, she was gone, he found her, her father
told him to get lost, she told him to get lost, and all the time you hoped that they
would live happily ever after. They got married and strolled off into the sunset as
the curtain came down. You dried your tears and clutching your empty popcorn
bucket, strolled out of the theatre.

We cry at those movies because at our deepest level, we care. We love. We are
touched. There is that core in each of us that is simply beautiful. Depending on
how much we have been hurt, we will conceal or reveal our deepest feelings, but
we all have these qualities.

When we see the news stories about the starving around the globe, we all ache
inside. We all care. That is the way we are. Accept that you have these qualities –
the capacity to love and empathise and be human. You are not “only human”. You
are human. Recognise your own worth and remind yourself that you deserve to be
treated well.

Most of us have a list – we say, “I would love myself if I wasn’t ugly, I would
love myself if I was more successful, I would love myself if I didn’t binge, I would
love myself if I didn’t get angry, I would love myself if I could live up to God’s
standards.”

We crave compliments but as quickly as we receive them, we dismiss them.

Twenty-seven people tell you that you are wonderful and you are thirsty for it like
a vampire. Then one person tells you bad stuff – who do you believe?