How Old Was Mary?

Often, when the discussion of Muhammads' marriage to Aisha comes up, the non-Muslim will
point out that Muhammad was a “pedophile”. The reason for this statement is not based upon
the age difference between to two as much as it is Aisha's age at the time of her marriage to
Muhammad and the subsequent consummation of the marriage. Had Aisha been 20 and
Muhammad sixty, few would do more than raise an eyebrow and perhaps congratulated an
old coot on nabbing himself a young babe.

In the case of Aisha and Muhammad, however, there is a vast difference. Aisha is reported to
have been six when betrothed to Muhammad and nine when their relationship was
consummated. Granted, certain Muslims (mostly those who are not Sunni) will argue that
Aisha was much older, but the record within the Hadith say otherwise.

Bukhari, in the narrated Aisha, tells us her age:

“Narrated Hisham's father: Khadija died three years before the Prophet departed to Medina.
He stayed there for two years or so and then he married 'Aisha when she was a girl of six
years of age, and he consumed that marriage when she was nine years old (7:62:64).

Narrated 'Ursa: The prophet wrote the (marriage contract) with 'Aisha while she was six years
old and consummated his marriage with her while she was nine years old and she remained
with him for nine years (i.e.: till his death) (7:62:88).

Other passages in Sahi Bukhari make it plain that Aisha was not even in puberty when they
married, nor when they had intercourse, which could account for Aisha never having born
children to Muhammad.

Most Muslims have no problem with the concept of Muhammad, their example in life, having
married and consummated with a girl who was only nine years old. A fatwa written by Shaykh
`Abdul-`Azeez Bin Baz (Fatawa Islamiyah, volume 5, The Book of Marriage, page 169-170 )
states the following about the relationship:

“I advise young women not to refuse marriage from a man due to his age, such as being ten,
twenty or thirty years older than her. This is not a reason, because the Prophet, sallallaahu
alayhi was salam, married 'A'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, when he was fifty-three
years old and she was a girl of nine years old. So being older does not harm. There is no sin
in the woman being older, nor any sin in the man being older, because the Prophet,
sallallaahu alayhi was salam, married Khadijah, may Allaah be pleased with her, when she
was forty years old and he was twenty-five years old, before the Revelation came to him,
sallallaahu alayhi was salam; that is, she, may Allaah be pleased with her, was fifteen years
older than him. Then he married 'A'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, when she was
small - six or seven years old and he was fifty-three years old”.

The Muslim male, therefore, who adopts the notion that they must imitate Muhammad in all
things, has a problem. If he advocates for Muhammad's marriage (as seen above) they have
to admit that they, too, could copy the behavior (and would want to if opportunity arose).
Doing this, however, makes one a pedophile by today's standard. In order to avoid being
labeled as such, they must redefine pedophilia as something other than what it was. In other
words, they have to make Muhammad's action somehow passable by some standard,
somewhere.

The arguments used are as follows:

1) Muhammad lived in a time where such marriages were commonplace

2) Nobody objected to the age difference, therefore, it must have been okay
3) Other people did it, therefore, it must have been okay (citing famous people)
4) Girls as young as 7 were married in the United States
5) Three year olds were married in the Talmud
6) Mary, the mother of Christ, was eleven when she gave birth to Jesus and Joseph was
as old as ninety-nine

In future articles I will deal with the first five statements. For now, the focus will be on Mary.

THE TIMES IN WHICH MARY LIVED

The time in which Mary lived was a time of Roman law. The Jews had to follow the same laws
as Rome dictated. This included all elements of their lives. While Jews were afforded space
for worship and certain latitude within their own religious boundaries, when it came to the laws
of Rome, everyone had to obey them. Period.

There's a tendency to view ancient times through a modern lens, assuming that ancient
means either immoral or without sensibility. But by the time of Christ, Roman law regarding
marriage had been established for some time and the marriage age was pre-determined by
the state. Little girls did not marry. Roman girls were considered marriageable at age
fourteen, though she could be betrothed as young as age seven.

Keep in mind, however, that a betrothal is not a marriage per se. Yet it's more than an
engagement in the modern sense of the term. Today's western lens makes it possible for an
engaged couple to break off the engagement without a whole lot of consequence. But back
then, entire families could feel the fall out, as an impending marriage could make for
economic benefit, legal benefit and, in some cases, end long standing (and violent) feuds.

Because Jews were the subjects of Rome, and obligated to follow Roman law, it would have
been a breech of Roman law for Mary to have been married to Joseph prior to age fourteen.
Of course, the Muslim might argue that Rome made concessions for religion, which could
certainly have covered this issue. But would that argument be reasonable?

JEWISH MARRIAGE IN ANCIENT ROME

Judaism has regulations regarding the taking of vows. Vows are not to be taken lightly as they
are a promise, either to do something or to not do something. Vows were typically restricted
to vows between the person and God and did not include marriage “vows” as we know them
today. Marriage in ancient Rome was a contract not easily broken. Rome set guidelines for
who could, and could not, enter into a marriage contract.

The laws of Rome regarding marriage were not objectionable to the Jews of the day. A
Jewish boy had to be at least thirteen to take a vow and a Jewish girl, twelve and one day.
Betrothals typically lasted ten months to a year. So Mary would have been closer to fourteen
at the time she married Joseph. This could explain her very mature response when the angel
appeared to her:

“Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?”

Marriageable age in Rome, with parental consent, being fourteen, had Mary been fourteen or
younger, she could easily have stated that she had not known (biblical for intercourse) any
man. But she would have to have been at least fourteen to enter into the arrangement by
Roman law.

THE AGE DIFFERENCE ISSUE.

Does the age difference mean Joseph was a pedophile? Our legal systems in the West do
not define pedophilia for the past. However, the age difference in the case of Joseph and
Mary (and the subsequent claim that she was prepubescent when they married) comes, not
from any accurate historical record nor even the biblical one, rather, from extra cannon.

The source Muslims often point to is “The History of Joseph the Carpenter” featured on
Newadvent.com. Here we are told that Joseph, a man much older than Mary, was a widow
with older children when he married a prepubescent girl. What they either do not know or
chose to not mention, is that on the same website we are given a totally different age for Mary
in the “Gospel of the Nativity of Mary”:

“And so she reached her fourteenth year; and not only were the wicked unable to charger her
with anything worthy of reproach, but all the good, who knew her life and conversation, judged
her to be worthy of admiration.”

In terms of Josephs age, it's all speculative. However, EWTN, the Catholic broadcasting
station and a media arm of the Vatican, states this:

“It is interesting to note that the earliest known paintings or pieces of sculpture in the
catacombs show Joseph as a young man, probably no more than twenty-five years old.
This trend continued until the fourth century. But from that time almost to modern times,
Mary's husband is pictured as a man of advanced years. This raises the interesting question
of why Joseph suddenly became an octogenarian in Christian art. There can be no doubt but
that the change was deliberately introduced. In the fourth century the perpetual virginity
of Mary was under attack, and by way of implication it was asserted that Joseph was the
natural father of Christ. This claim was a serious distortion of divine revelation and was
promptly refuted by the bishops of those times. History tells us that heresies die slowly and
there follows a period of time in which there is a danger that the false doctrine will reappear.
Hence the artists of the times were convinced that it was not advisable to depict Joseph as a
young man for fear that the faithful would imagine him to be the natural father of Christ.
Portraying him as a very old man, they thought, was the best way of upholding belief in the
perpetual virginity of Mary and Joseph. This trend continued well into the twentieth century.”

COMPARING COUPLES
In comparing the marriage of Muhammad and Aisha to that of Mary and Joseph, Muslims are
being intellectually dishonest. There is no application of a rational standard when these
couples are being compared. Muhammad selected Aisha, a child more than forty years
younger than he, to be a wife based on a dream he had (Bukhari 9:87:140). Muhammad is
recorded as having physically abused Aisha (Sahih Muslim 4:2:127). Muhammad allowed
Abu Bakr to strike Aisha (Sahih Bukhari 8:82:828).

How did Joseph treat Mary? Though initially he was going to put her away rather than subject
her or himself to public humiliation, he obeyed the angel and married her as per instructed.
He then withheld himself from his marital bed until after Christ was born. He protected her and
the Christ child. All of this is seen in the first two chapters of Matthew.

There is also another consideration here. And that is the agency of Mary's conception of
Christ. NEITHER THE BIBLE NOR THE QURAN ATTRIBUTES HER PREGNANCY TO
JOSEPH. So for the Muslim to compare Mary and Joseph to Aisha and Muhammad is an
insult to Mary, whom Muslims claim to respect! Mary remained a virgin until Christ was born
and her hymen broken. Aisha, poor child, lost her virginity to Muhammad while still playing
with dolls.

Sources:
http://www.fatwaislam.com/fis/index.cfm?scn=fd&ID=42
http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/0805.htm
http://www.womenintheancientworld.com/women%20and%20marriage%20in%20ancient%20rome.htm
http://www.womenintheancientworld.com/marriageinancientrome.htm
http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/0849.htm

https://www.ewtn.com/library/MARY/THEOINTR.HTM

http://www.christusrex.org/www1/ofm/mag/TSmgenB3.html

http://www.revealedrome.com/2012/06/ancient-rome-daily-life-women-age.html

http://www.ewtn.com/tv/live/livefromthevatican.asp