11.05.

2020 How COVID-19 Affects My Sex Life as an Exhibitionist

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I Love to F*ck in Public, and Coronavirus Is Seriously

Killing My Vibe
I haven’t had sex in a bed in nearly three years and I don’t plan to
start now, so….

b y RACHEL VARINA MAY 8, 2020

SANCHI OBEROI

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11.05.2020 How COVID-19 Affects My Sex Life as an Exhibitionist

ast night, I kneeled between my husband’s legs as he played video games with
his friends. “Don’t make a sound,” I told him as I pulled down his sweatpants
and made sure he left his microphone unmuted.

The night before that, my husband pressed my naked body up against our living room
window—knowing full well the neighbors could steal a glance at any moment.

Here’s the thing: I’m a legit exhibitionist, and the thought of having sex in a bed
makes my skin crawl. So until our sex life can return to all its pre-coronavirus glory
(you know, sneaking into a deserted hallway outside a party or standing on a hotel
balcony), these little pseudo-public trysts will have to do for now. Because I really,
truly cannot have sex in bed. Seriously: I haven’t done it in bed in nearly three years.

Have you ever had sex in any public space?

YES NO

Ever since college, hooking up in public places was just something I did. It was like
my thing. Cars, pools, balconies, in a canoe, on my boss’s desk, in the middle of the
road—I’ve done it everywhere and I’m always looking for the next place.

Any place will do…well, except the most common place: in bed.

And while public sex seems–and is (lol)—utterly illegal, unhygienic, and unromantic,
the truth is: I just can’t get off in a bed. Which makes this whole COVID-19 trapped-
inside-indenitely thing that much more difficult for my sex life.

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11.05.2020 How COVID-19 Affects My Sex Life as an Exhibitionist

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It’s hard to explain, but the literal thought of rolling around under the covers makes
my skin crawl. It makes me nauseated, which is really saying something because I’ve
been brought to an orgasm in some pretty dumpy places.

For me, bed is the place where my husband and I cuddle and read and sleep and
maybe drunkenly eat pizza if we’ve gone a little too hard on the White Claws. But for
take-me-now, I-can’t-wait-anymore fucking? Yeah, I’d rather not. Actually, at this point,
I just…won’t.

At rst, I assumed something was wrong with me. As a married 20something who
grew up with movies like The Notebook, I felt super weird for being so repulsed by the
idea of making love on a uffy king-size bed with my husband. But I couldn’t get
aroused in bed; I couldn’t picture myself having sex in a bed. Even when people have
“bed sex” in movies or in porn, I’m low-key disgusted.

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11.05.2020 How COVID-19 Affects My Sex Life as an Exhibitionist

But the day I realized I was an exhibitionist, my life changed for the better.

No, I don’t ash strangers and get off by their shock, as the psychological denition
suggests. I more fall into the category of people you’d see at sex clubs or nude
beaches. You know, the person who is in the center of the dance oor making out or
something. An audience turns me on. The risk of getting caught is my ultimate
aphrodisiac.

The problem (other than potentially getting thrown into jail for indecent exposure at
some point) is that coronavirus is completely robbing me of my sex life as I knew it.
Pre–social distancing, the only thing I had to worry about was whether or not
someone would catch my husband and me in a compromising position—and honestly,
that thrill is more than half the fun.

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But now, without crowded bars full of strangers or wedding receptions with rst
dances I’d miss because I was bent over a sink, I feel…empty. And my shame sets in.

My husband loves me. He’s hot and compassionate and silly and good. So among this
pandemic, and all the unknown that we have yet to unravel, why isn’t that enough for
me?

I think it’s easy to fall down the guilt and shame spiral if what you are or aren’t into is
outside the norm. And for me, it’s even easier when you’re stuck inside for weeks on

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11.05.2020 How COVID-19 Affects My Sex Life as an Exhibitionist

end with your unsexy duvet cover taunting you and your libido.

But still, as everyone and their clitoris knows, having an active sex life is extremely
important for overall well-being—and may be the only thing getting my husband and
me through this pandemic. Even if we have to be a lil…well, creative.

So while sex in the time of coronavirus might be different, you better believe a
pandemic isn’t going to stop me from getting off. Even inside, my hubs and I have yet
to run out of places to bone each other—and no, none of them involve a bed.

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