David Oliva

Professor Ditch

English 113B

11 May 2020

Comments for my Project Text Essay

First paragraph:

1) Switch dates.

2) Replace “is” with “and”.

3) This is a solid start.

Second paragraph:

1) Ahem…. Really?

2) Okay now connect this with an article from Pursuing happiness for further support.

Third paragraph:

1) Remember as I stated in class, analyze each character separately. Don’t go back and

forth; it confuses the reader.

2) Use comma not period, it is a fragment.

3) This section is confusing. Your argument is unraveling.

Fourth paragraph:

1) Again, change the organization of the entire paper. Analyze them one at a time.

2) This would work if you had evidence. You need quotes from the article and novel.
 3) Same here, there is no evidence.

Fifth paragraph:

1) Don’t add links to paper.

2) All of this is too general. You need to thoroughly analyze the outside sources and

specifically connect it to the novel with examples.

3) Missing a counterargument and refutation for each character.

4) Where is the conclusion?

5) Works cited page has formatting issues.