The Dangers of Unforgiveness PDF

THE
DANGERS OF
UNFORGIVE
UNFORGIVENESS
GUILLERMO MALDONADO
Our Vision
To fill the Earth with the knowledge of God’s glory.
"I have called you to bring My supernatural power to this generation
The Dangers of Unforgiveness
ISBN- 978-1-59272-328-7
Edition 2009
This publication may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or any means, archived in
electronic system nor transmitted in any electronic, mechanical, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage retrieval system, or any other manner, without the previous written
permission of the author.
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version of
the Bible. Scripture quotations taken from THE AMP, Copyright  1954, 1958, 1962, 1965, 1987
by the Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)
Project Director: Addilena Torres

Cover Design: Carolina Escobar
Editorial Development: Adriana Cardona
Proofreader: Papsy Mileti
Interior Design: Adriana Cardona
Published by:
ERJ Publicaciones
13651 SW 143 Ct., Suite 101, Miami, FL 33186
Tel: (305) 233-3325 - Fax: (305) 675-5770
Category:
Inner Healing
Printed in the USA

This book is dedicated to every child of God
who has learned to forgive and now
lives a lifestyle of forgiveness.
I have witnessed numerous testimonies
of physical and inner healing that take
place when people choose to forgive.
The impact caused by those testimonies
motivates me to remember those
who now live life to the fullest
because of their choice to forgive.
THANK Y OU!
Jesus came to this world to establish

God's Kingdom. He taught us the
principles needed to live a successful
life in Him. My heart is eternally grateful
to our beloved Jesus for teaching us
the virtue of forgiveness which has
ignited in me the passion to see others
learn and be blessed by it.
Thank you, Jesus!
INDEX
Introduction ..................................................................... 9
CHAPTER I
What is the Root of Unforgiveness? .......................... 11
CHAPTER II
Offenses are Necessary ................................................ 29
CHAPTER III
What is Forgiveness? .................................................... 41
CHAPTER IV
The Offense and the Christian ................................... 53
CHAPTER V
The Dangers of Unforgiveness .................................. 79
CHAPTER VI
The Power of Grace to Forgive ................................. 91
CHAPTER VII
Forgiveness as a Lifestyle .......................................... 109
Testimonies .................................................................. 119
Bibliography ................................................................. 128

INTRODUCTION
A fundamental principle required to live well in the

Kingdom of God is forgiveness. This is an important
virtue needed for living a successful life, full of joy
and free of baggage from our past. Forgiveness is the
reason Jesus came to Earth to die on the cross, mak-
ing it possible for the Father to forgive our sins and
reconcile us to Him. If Jesus paid such a high price
for our forgiveness, we should at least meditate on
the value of this principle. Forgiveness is a mystery
for those who do not embrace it, but it is a wonderful
revelation for those who have tasted its sweetness.
This virtue—when people are willing to forgive the
offense—is powerful enough to transform the life of
an individual, an entire family, a city, or a nation.
During the three and a half years of Jesus' ministry,

He made certain His disciples learned and shared this
mystery. Jesus understood it was vital to the success-
ful completion of their forthcoming commission. He
made it clear to them that insults would never cease
to exist in their lives; therefore, they needed to learn
how to deal with them. He gave them an idea of how
many times they would have to forgive those who
sinned against them. His forgiveness standard was set
so high that it can easily be said that unforgiveness is not
an option. Choosing not to forgive and keeping
record of wrongdoings is a dangerous decision that
9
encloses serious and treacherous results which I will
clearly describe in this book. As you read this book,
you will gain the information needed to make good
decisions each time you are offended or when you
offend someone else. Oh, Yes! The dangers mention-
ed in this book are not just for those who choose not
to forgive; they are also for those who offend and
lack the courage to ask to be forgiven in order to heal
the heart of those they have offended.
This book contains counsel that is 100% effective for

those who apply it because each word is based on the
book inspired by our Creator, the Bible. How many
mistakes are we responsible for each day? How often
have we offended God? In one day, the moment we
repented and welcomed Jesus into our heart, He
erased our sins from His memory and welcomed us
with open arms. He clothed us with a new wardrobe
and celebrated in Heaven. He gave us dignity, salva-
tion, deliverance and the power to defeat our enemy,
Satan.
Forgiveness means to do the same as God did for us:

to forgive those who offend us and ask to be forgiven
when we offend others, even when we are innocent
of any wrongdoing. This, in no way, compares to
what Jesus did for us at the cross—for He was inno-
cent and we are not. It is time to follow His example
and live as He did in order to truly be a part of His
Kingdom.
10
CHAPTER I
WHAT IS
THE ROOT
ROOT OF
UNFORGIVENESS?
One of the most widely used weapons of our worst
enemy is: unforgiveness. Every act of unforgiveness
begins with an offense. As such, each offense be-
comes a seed planted in one’s heart that grows roots
of bitterness until it becomes a tree of resentment
and reproach. The following diagram is a representa-
tion as to how an offense can affect us if it is not
properly dealt with:
Offense Resentment Unforgiveness

Root of bitterness Hate Spiritual Death
Physical Illness Physical Death
How does an offense reach the heart of an

individual?
“2For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does

not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to
bridle the whole body.” James 3:2
The offense affects the heart when there is lack of

identity or self-worth; insecurity, rejection, or when
an individual ignores God's plans for his life. When
we are certain of who we are in Christ, we will rarely
13
THE DANGERS OF UNFORGIVENESS
feel offended and are less likely to keep record of

that offense for any period of time.
The following are a few examples that might cause

us to get offended: When we are not taken into
account, hurtful criticism, a misunderstanding that
makes us falsely responsible for something, a bad
attitude, or when we feel we have been treated
unfairly, betrayal, or when someone failed to keep
their word. One might even become offended by a
sermon when taken too personally. Also, we may
feel offended from broken promises, when others
fail to say hello, or when someone takes something
without our approval; if we feel cheated, deceived, or
if we experience verbal, physical, sexual, or emotion-
al abuse. Aside from losing our trust, we may also
feel offended and deeply hurt. Some offenses are
valid, and if any of these ruined our past, we revisit
these later in the book and learn how to deal with
them and stop them from destroying our present
and future.
The meaning of the word offense:
Offense is the Greek word skandalon; it means: trap,

stumbling block, or bait. In earlier times, this word
was used to describe the bait that was placed on a
curved and flexible rod, used to trap animals. The
word also gives the idea of a rope or a stumbling
14
WHAT IS THE ROOT OF UNFORGIVENESS
block. For example: a fisherman uses a small fish as

bait to catch bigger fish. The point I am trying to
make is that a bait is used to trap the bigger fish;
when the big fish bites the small fish, the hook lod-
ges into its mouth, making it impossible for the fish
to break loose. Another example is the mouse and
cheese trap. To trap a mouse, the only thing needed
is a small amount of poison carefully placed on a
piece of cheese. When the mouse eats the cheese,
the poison is enough to kill him. Likewise, many of
us have fallen into the enemy's trap. You may have
taken the bait set up by the enemy, and now find
yourself contaminated by his poison and beginning
to die a slow death. In other words: someone has
offended you, you have chosen not to forgive that
offense, and because of that choice your soul be-
comes entrapped in a prison of bitterness. You
desperately need to be set free!
“26
… and that they may come to their senses and
escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive
by him to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:26
How do we apply the term offense or skandalon

in our lives?
The enemy uses other people to offend us, and they

are usually those closest to us. His bait is always
cunning as he allures us into his trap. Remember,
15
each time someone does or says anything to offend

you, it is a the bait to lure you into his trap and cause
you to stumble. The enemy sets his trap to destroy
our spiritual life, poison our soul, fill us with
bitterness, and finally lead us to hate—a sentiment
that will certainly consume us. There are two types
of people who are easily offended:
Those who are treated unfairly
Those who think they are being treated unfairly
If you tend to be easily offended, than you can be

absolutely certain that the enemy will, maliciously,
place someone in your path to make sure you are
offended in your weakest areas. Have you ever left a
relationship to avoid geting hurt in an area in which
you are vulnerable, only to befriend someone else
who offends you in the same area? Don’t be sur-
prised to discover that this happens all the time: in
church, in relationships, at the workplace, and at all
times. Regardless of how hard you try to avoid such
relationships, the enemy will always find someone to
ofend you. The only way to avoid this and end the
cycle of ofense is to mature in that area and learn to
forgive. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if the enemy
continues to seek ways to make you fall into his trap.
He will never give up trying to make you take his
bait.
16
“10And then many will be offended, will betray one

another, and will hate one another.” Matthew 24:10
Three important points to remember about offenses:
1. Offenses are a part of life.
“1Then He said to the disciples, ‘It is impossible that no

offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they
do come!’” Luke 17:1
Regardless of your relationships, where you go,

or even if you try to hide or raise protective walls
around you, offenses will always find their way to
you. The only way to avoid being offended is
going Home to be with the Lord. Offenses will
always be a part of your life. At some point in
time, someone will offend us, and we will feel
hurt. When that happens, what will you do? How
will you respond? Will you dwell on that offense
and continue feeling hurt? There is always a way
out! Many people believe the answer is in running
away, but the best and wisest solution is to learn
to deal with the offense and practice forgiveness
as lifestyle.
The only way to avoid being offended

is going Home to be with the Lord.
17
2. Offenses or stumbles promote growth and

spiritual maturity.
“7Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must

come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”
Matthew 18:7
God uses offenses to help us grow spiritually—

that which the enemy wants to use to destroy us,
God turns into instruments that help mature our
character. Judas was a necesary evil in the minis-
try of Jesus. Long before the betrayal, Jesus knew
Judas would be the one to betray Him. Although
He had this knowledge, He did not rebuke or
reject Judas. He loved him. If Judas had not
betrayed Jesus with a kiss and for a few coins, the
prophecy would never have been fulfilled.
Judas is Necessary in our Lives
Some people come into our lives to betray us;

those are the Judas in our lives. Although it might
seem a unlikely, these are the people who help us
grow and mature. God’s children are not exempt
from experiencing the betrayal of a Judas; and
they are often necesary to carry out God’s plans
to see us grow and mature. These “friends” will
hurt and betray us more than others; they will
cause us the most pain. I don’t believe God
18
sends a Judas to do these things to us, but I do

believe He uses our experiences with them to
help us mature spiritually. Judas was not chosen
by mistake. He was chosen, carefully selected by
Jesus to be one of His twelve disciples. His role
in the development of Jesus’ ministry was crucial
to the fulfilment of His mission. Many might
regard Judas as worthless; as the thief and traitor.
We need to change our perspective regarding

Judas. Instead, we must see him as the instrument
needed to carry out a specific task. As far as we
are concerned, those who would be considered a
Judas in our lives will serve to help us mature and
develop the character and virtues of Christ, even
if they cause us pain and misery.
3. Offenses will sift those who are approved.
“19For there must also be factions among you, that

those who are approved may be recognized among
you.” 1 Corinthians 11:19
Those who are not God’s children will be unable

to forgive; they will run. On the other hand, His
children will pass the test of offense, especially
when disciplined, and will remain. This is the
path to becoming an approved servant.
19
What signs prove there is unforgiveness?
People who choose to hold grudges manifest

signs of the bondage that torments them. The
following is a list of those signs:
Thoughts of vengeance
When people are hurting, judgement and anger

spew out of their mouths. Also, they conti-
nuously entertain thoughts of vengeance; often
harboring destructive thoughts against the one
who caused the offense. They often have images
in their minds as to how they can execute their
vengeance and the many ways they want to see
their offenders suffer. Vengeance does not
belong to us; it belongs to God. We must learn to
allow God to execute vengeance and collect on
our behalf. God’s Word is clear in this matter:
“30... ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the

Lord. And again, ‘The LORD will judge His
people.’” Hebrews 10:30
A feeling of joy when the offender suffers.
Perhaps it is not expressed, but they often rejoice

when others suffer. When this happens, it is a
sign there is unforgiveness and bitterness on the
inside.
20
Heartfelt pain
When people who are hurt remember the person

and the event that caused them pain, they suffer
as if the offense had just taken place. They relive
the resentment, pain, anguish, impotence, and
anger.
They tell everyone what was done to them
People who choose not to forgive continue to be

trapped—hooked—and will openly show it by
sharing the offense in any conversation. Often,
they ruin family reunions or push people away
from their lives. No one wants to be near a
person who only emits hate and bitterness.
Physiological symptoms
The one offended will experience dizziness if the

name of the offender is mentioned; will have
difficulty breathing or chest pains if the offender
is seen—even if it’s just their car passing in front
of him. All of these are signs of unforgivenss.
Believes the offender lacks good qualities
When people are offended, they tend to conclude

that the offender is one hundred percent evil and
21
undeserving of anyone’s trust. In most cases, it

was not the offender’s intention to cause pain or
to offend; it was done out of ignorance or
distraction. This does not mean they are mean or
that they are out to hurt the world. Often, jeal-
ousy, envy, anger, and judgment are components
of unforgiveness. These emotions hide and are
difficult to detect.
What should we do when we are ofended?
“26‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go

down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26
The longer we hold on to the offense in our hearts,

the harder it will be to forgive. If the offense is not
dealt with immediately, our anger will exponentially
grow until it turns into hate.
Absalom’s Sad Example
Absalom, King David’s son, held in his anger for a

very long time; this provoked him to murder his
brother, Amnon, and to betray his father.
“22And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither

good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he
had forced his sister Tamar. 28Now Absalom had
commanded his servants, saying, ‘Watch now, when
22
Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to

you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid.
Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and
valiant.’” 2 Samuel 13:22, 28
Absalom was offended when his father, David, failed

to take the appropriate action against his brother for
raping his sister. He waited two years for his father
to do something about it but when nothing hap-
pened, he took matters into his own hands and
executed his revenge. Because the offense was not
dealt with quickly and appropriately, he was mis-
takenly compelled to kill his brother and betray his
father.
“5And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow

down to him, that he would put out his hand and take
him and kiss him. 6In this manner Absalom acted
toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment.
So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.”
2 Samuel 15:5, 6
Many experience the same in their church. In some

families, parents and children judge and criticize each
other due to unresolved offenses and conflicts, even-
tually arriving at attitudes far worse than the initial
offense; hence, it is common to hear in the news that
a son killed his father, that a man killed his wife, and
so forth.
23
How do offended people react?
Offended people tend to generalize. They might

have had a bitter experience with someone and so
they assume that everyone who resembles the of-
fender is dangerous. People who are hurt and suffer
an offense tend to judge too quickly and establish
secret vows to themselves. Without realizing it, they
become entangled by their spoken declarations.
“2You are snared by the words of your mouth; you are

taken by the words of your mouth.” Proverbs 6:2
Which people tend to offend us the most?
People who are closest to us, those we love the

most, are the ones that can cause us the most pain.
True love is always exposed to getting hurt.
We offend God on a daily basis, yet He continues to

love us unconditionally. Pushing people away and
ending the relationship may not always be the an-
swer, unless the offender chooses not to repent and
continous to offend us. Healthy relationships require
everyone involved to be mature, to surrender their
rights, and to pay a price. When this is achieved,
those in the relationship will innevitably grow. Let us
see what happened to Joseph, Jacob’s son, Isaac’s
grandson, and Abraham’s great-grandson:
24
The Offenses Joseph Suffered
There are two types of people who are easily of-

fended: those who were treated unfairly and those
who believe they were treated unfairly. This story falls
in the first category.Joseph was Jacob’s eleventh son
and his favorite because he was the son born in his
old age. Jacob gave Joseph a tunic of many colors
and treated him differently than the rest. His pre-
ferential treatment for Joseph provoked envy in his
brothers. In addition to this, Joseph was also having
recurring dreams in which he saw his brothers
bowing down before him. When he shared his
dreams, they rejected him more; their hate for their
younger brother rose to such degree that they threw
Joseph into a cistern and later sold him as a slave.
For 15 years he suffered rejection, loneliness, and
the demeaning shame of being a slave, including
being imprisoned for something he did not do. We
could say that he “paid for something he neither ate
nor drank.”
Let us quickly analyze the distinct situations in the

life of this great man of God:
He was rejected by his father when he shared his

dreams.
He was rejected, laughed at, and mistreated by his

brothers.
25
He was sold as a a slave.
When he thought his life was finally taking a turn

for the best, he was sent to prison for a crime he
did not commit.
Finally, God restored him. He became a very

influential man. So much so, that when the land
suffered a great famine, his brothers unknowingly
went to him for food. By this time, Joseph had
finally understood God’s plan for his life and had
learned to deal with offenses. Anyone else would
have become extremely bitter after experiencing
such injustice, but Joseph decided to forgive his
brothers and everyone else who offended him.
“5But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with

yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me
before you to preserve life. 6For these two years the
famine has been in the land, and there are still five
years in which there will be neither plowing nor
harvesting. 7And God sent me before you to preserve a
posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by
a great deliverance. 8So now it was not you who sent
me here, but God; and He has made me a father to
Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler
throughout all the land of Egypt.” Genesis 45:5-8
26
Why did Joseph have to suffer such injustice?
Believe it or not, the experiences Joseph had to

endure were part of God’s master plan to make him
governor of Egypt. Sometimes, God allows us to
experience betrayal, rejection, and unfair treatment
because he wants to take us from the cistern to the
palace, like he did with Joseph. If you have endured
difficult situations in your life, seek to unravel God’s
plan within them—the level to which God want to
take you is relevant to the level of pain you have
endured. It is easier to forgive offenses when we
know they lead to the fulfillment of God’s purpose.
Joseph said the following: “You thought that throw-
ing me in the cistern would end my life or selling me
would destroy me, but neither happened. God inter-
vened and turned my pain into blessings.” Joseph
forgave his brothers and God blessed him. Now is
the time to decide to forgive those who offended
you. Jesus suffered much more than you, and He still
forgave. Decide to forgive, and God will give you
the strength to carry it through.
Take the Best from a Bad Situation
“19Therefore thus says the LORD: ‘If you return,

then I will bring you back; you shall stand before Me;
if you take out the precious from the vile, you shall be
as My mouth. Let them return to you, but you must
not return to them.’” Jeremiah 1:19
27
There will always be people like Judas in our lives.

When they are identified, we need to learn to see the
good that can come from the pain they cause us. As
improbable as this might sound, something good can
come from every offense; from emotional, physical,
or sexual abuse and even from betrayal. Learn to
find the precious gem behind the pain. As the Word
promises, if we learn to get the good from the bad,
we will become God’s voice.
28
CHAPTER II
OFFENSES ARE
NECESSARY
As with everything else in the Kingdom of God, its
laws usually contradict the laws of man. For
instance, to be the greatest, one must be the servant
of all; to be close to the Father we must learn to love
our enemies; to live the life of Christ, we must die to
the flesh. Offenses work the same way. To mature
and become useful in the Kingdom, it is necesary for
us to deal with offenses. Instead of seeking revenge,
we must love our offender, be merciful, forgive, and
pray for him. We must do what is right instead of
seeking to alleviate the pain by doing something bad.
Biblical Principles of Forgiveness
Offenses are necessary, and they will always

be a part of our lives.
You can run but you can’t hide because offenses

will always find you. Problems cannot be solved
by hidding or running away. They must be dealt
with, immediately.
“1Then He said to the disciples, ‘It is impossible that

no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom
they do come!’” Luke 17:1
31
We offend with our words.
Speaking our mind is the most common way to

offend. The tongue is a small but deadly organ.
We must be extremely careful because its poison
can contaminate our entire being. It is crucial to
learn to hold our tongue, and this can be done
with the help of the Holy Spirit. Those who have
learned not to offend with their words are mature
people.
“2For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does

not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to
bridle the whole body.” James 3:2
Why do people get offended?
Everyone is exposed to being offended and/or are

guilty of offending; it can happen at any time, any-
where. Some offenses are valid; therefore, it is more
than reasonable for them to cause legitimate pain and
suffering. However, this does not mean we have the
right to hold on to grudges or bitterness indefinately.
The fact that it is valid and human to feel offended is
no excuse for refusing to forgive.
“53Then Jesus said to them, ‘Most assuredly, I say to

you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and
drink His blood, you have no life in you.” John 6:53
32
OFFENSES ARE NECESSARY
Jesus said that unless we eat of His flesh and drink of

His blood, we would not have eternal life. What did
He mean by that? Many welcome what Jesus offers:
healing, deliverance, peace, and joy, but what about
persecution? Did you know many leaders avoid giving
strong, confronting sermons because they are not
willing to risk losing any member of their congrega-
tion or to suffer persecution?
It is logical for everyone to want the best that Jesus

has to offer, especially it that means getting it without
suffering conflict or persecution. Preachers can conti-
nue to deliver a watered-down gospel, but remember
Jesus said you will have life if you you eat and drink
what He offers, including that which offends you.
Some messages will make people uncomfortable, but
they are necessary and must be communicated and
practiced. Sharing the Gospel has nothing to do with
telling people what they want to hear; it is telling
people what they need to hear. If you want Jesus, you
must eat and drink of Him—the entire meal.
“60Therefore many of His disciples, when they heard

this, said, ‘This is a hard saying; who can understand
it?”’ John 6:60
The Disciples were Offended by Jesus
“61When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples
33
complained about this, He said to them, ‘Does this

offend you?’" John 6:61
Why were they offended? They were offended over

several things which are also applicable to many of us.
Let us take a look at those motives:
People are offended when they are required

to make a commitment.
Everyday, we accept the growing demands of our

employer, spouse, and children. However, when
Jesus asks anything of us, we complain. It is easy
to forget that He paid a very high price; higher
than any of us could pay. He cancelled the debt
that endangered the salvation of our soul.
Why are people angered when they are asked to

commit? Traditionally, we believe that being a
member of a church means to attend church once
a week, religiously, without getting involved; thus,
allowing others to do all the work. After days,
months, and years of following the same routine,
we discover we have not changed. Therefore, we
fail to understand our destiny or the reason why
we are here. In this unchaged state, we miss out
on the satisfaction of knowing we can be God’s
instruments of blessings and the channel to bless
those in need. The reason for this is because we
don’t want to renounce to our selfish lifestyle.
34
You will know who is with you and who is not

when you ask them to commit.
“64But there are some of you who do not believe.’ For

Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did
not believe, and who would betray Him. 66From that
time many of His disciples went back and walked
with Him no more.” John 6:64, 66
Why does it surprise us when people leave the

church? Many left Jesus! They wanted to be a
part of His church, but they left because His
words offended them.
People are offended when they are not given

the position they want.
Some people’s personal agenda is to obtain the

desired position at their church, school, or work-
place. Others are motivated by their desire to be
in a position of power and authority, and to
accomplish it, they are willing to step on anyone
or anything that gets in their way.
People are offended when they are not acknowl-

edged or recognized for their accomplishments.
If we are offended when people fail to recognize

35
our work, it means our effort was to benefit and

not Jesus. This is a good measuring stick that
determines the true intentions of our heart. If we
work for God, it doesn’t matter how much we
are offended; we continue to give the best.
However, if the reason we do what we do is to
impress man, we will, almost immediately, lose
heart and the desire to serve.
People are offended when they are disci-

plined or corrected.
People often say, “Pastor, please correct me if

you see me doing something wrong.” Sadly,
when they do something that merits discipline,
they are offended; this is a common cause for
people getting offended and leaving the church.
A person must have the heart of a son or
daughter in order to receive correction and disci-
pline well. Only a child will know the father will
discipline out of love—the bastard child will not
receive the discipline but assume he has been
taken advantage of; that someone wants to humi-
liate or replace him. The son does not argue with
the father. Instead, he welcomes the discipline
because he knows it is for his benefit. We need to
learn to be sons and daughters!
People are offended when they are not

acknowledged, when they are not greeted, or
36
when they fail to receive what they want.
It is the desire of all men to feel a sense of be-

longing and be able to identify themselves with
something or someone. Sadly, many seek that
sense of belonging in other men and in how they
are treated by others; however, this often back-
fires. For example, if the pastor is busy and fails
to greet them, they are easily offended because
they need to feel important. Or if the pastor
preached a strong message, they are offended
because they believe the message did not reflect
God’s love. Then, they end up leaving the church
with a chip on their shoulders saying things like,
“there is no love in the church.”
People are offended when things are not

carried out according to their criteria.
These people have a spirit of control and mani-

pulation. They want everything done according to
their specifications. They are motivated by their
personal desire for security, not because they seek
to benefit anyone. Upon arrival anywhere, they
expect things to be carried out according to their
terms. When things don’t go their way, they be-
come offended and say: “The order of God is
not in this place.”
37
People are offended because others don’t

love them according to how they believe they
should be loved.
Many people measure the love of others accord-

ing to their own language of love. However, in a
place where many people gather together, all with
different love languages, it is impossible for
anyone to demonstrate God’s love in their speci-
fic language. It is no different in church; hence,
pastors must show love in a general way, so that
everyone can understand and receive it.
My love language as a pastor and apostle is to

study God’s Word and seek His presence. This
enables me to receive the fresh revelation of the
Word in order to edify His people. My passion
and efforts are directed toward developing the
leadership’s potential and service; to lead them to
the true knowledge of God’s fatherhood and
equip them with the spiritual arsenal, necessary to
carry out God’s plan and destroy Satan’s works.
Sadly, many get caught in the offense trap. Don’t
get caught in that trap! Look at what your leaders
and pastors are doing to edify you; that is their
way of expressing love for you. Many have the
wrong idea about love. They erroneously believe
it consists of hugs and kisses; words of comfort,
permissiveness, and infinate patience to tolerate
38
people’s shamefulness. However, love is much

more than that; it is also discipline.
People are offended when they are treated

unfairly.
How do you know if what happened is unfair

before the eyes of God? Sadly, most people don’t
have enough knowledge of the Word to realize
when something is unfair or when the correction
is necessary to help one grow. Of course, there
are times when you are treated unfairly; however,
regardless of the offense, don’t get stuck in a rut,
instead forgive and mature!
Recognize the benefit of the offense

and allow it to shape your character.
People are offended when confronted with

the truth.
This could be a valid offense. Nevertheless, it is

not an excuse to refrain from forgiving the of-
fender. If God’s Word offends or if an individual
tells you a truth that caused you pain, pray and ask
God to transform your heart. Don’t allow pride or
your shattered ego to stand in the way of your
growth. Strong words may cause immediate pain,
39
but that should never stop you from forgiving. We

should always be able to forgive.
As Jesus said, it is necessary for the offense to come

before we can be approved. We must learn to deal
with all offenses and unfair treatment. Let us grow in
spite of them and because of them. Let us get the best
out of a bad situation and become God’s mouthpiece;
one that only speaks life and truth.
40
CHAPTER III
WHAT IS
FORGIVENESS?
Before deciding to forgive, many people question
what it means, what benefits they stand to gain, and
what consequences they can expect to experience if
they choose not to forgive. With this in mind, let us
begin by defining the word forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not…
Forgiveness has nothing to do with trying to forget

the event, denying the offense, allowing time to erase
what happened, or simply ignoring it. It has nothing
to do with mental forgiveness or a sudden emotion.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness means to let go of the person who com-

mitted the offense; to let go of the one who caused
us pain; to cancel a pending debt.
Illustration: When a fisherman catches a fish, he

immediately removes the guts and scales. Before
refrigerating it, he cleans it throughly to avoid bad
odors.
43
Many need to be cleansed like that fish. They have

received the Lord but were never “cleansed” of the
“guts” of their past. Today, after many years, they
are still held back and tormented by offenses,
unforgiveness, rejection, and guilt. For this reason, it
is necessary that they undergo inner healing and
deliverance and learn to live in their newfound
freedom.
Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is an epidemic within the body of

Christ and in the world. Thousands are suffering
with diseases such as cancer, ulcers, and others—
many have died—due to unforgiveness and the
bitterness they held on to. This is one of the most
powerful obstacles against prayer. I have met count-
less believers who are frustrated and discouraged
because of unanswered prayers, causing them to live
in constant spiritual misery. The reason for their
state of being is unforgiveness. There are different
names associated with unforgiveness, including:
offense, resentment, anger, discomfort, or feeling
hurt.
“25And whenever you stand praying, if you have

anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father
in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25
44
WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?
What Jesus said about anger:
“22But I say to you that everyone who continues to be

angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of
heart) against him shall be liable to and unable to
escape the punishment imposed by the court; and
whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his
brother shall be liable to and unable to escape the
punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever
says, You cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall
be liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of
fire.” Matthew 5:22 –AMP
Unforgiveness, offenses, and feeling bothered, hurt,

or bitter are the guillotine to our prayers. When we
choose to keep record of offenses, God places us
against the wall and the heavens turn to “bronze”
for us. Unforgiveness destroys our relationship with
God. He cannot hear our prayers if we are bitter or
angry against anyone. Why does God do this?
“21Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how

often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive
him? Up to seven times?’ 22 Jesus said to him, ‘I do
not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy
times seven. 23Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like
a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his
servants. 24And when he had begun to settle accounts,
one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand
45
talents. 25But as he was not able to pay, his master

commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children
and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26The
servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master,
have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27Then
the master of that servant was moved with compassion,
released him, and forgave him the debt. 28“But that
servant went out and found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands
on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me
what you owe!’ 29So his fellow servant fell down at his
feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me,
and I will pay you all.’ 30And he would not, but went
and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
31
So when his fellow servants saw what had been done,
they were very grieved, and came and told their master
all that had been done. 32Then his master, after he
had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I
forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
33
Should you not also have had compassion on your
fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34And his
master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers
until he should pay all that was due to him. 35So My
heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from
his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”’
Matthew 18: 21-35
In these verses, Jesus established many important

principles! During that time, a talent was an amount
46
of gold or silver used to determine the weight of

gold. One talent was equivalent to approximately 75
pounds of gold and 10,000 talents equalled 750,000
pounds; equivalent to 375 tons of gold. Today, an
ounce of gold is worth about $375. This means that
in today’s market, one talent of gold is worth
$450,000; therefore, 10,000 talents of gold equals
$4.5 billion. The servant owed his master that
amount of money. The reason Jesus used such high
figures was to emphasize the fact that the servant
had a debt he could never repay on his own. The
same could be said about us. We all have a debt that
could never be repaid on our own. But, when our
Master—Jesus—paid the debt, He cancelled the
decree that had been established against us:
“13And you, being dead in your trespasses and the

uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive
together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses,
14
having wiped out the handwriting of requirements
that was against us, which was contrary to us. And
He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the
cross.” Colossians 2:14
Illustration: Psychologists say over 10,000 thoughts

cross our mind each day. Let us suppose three out of
those thoughts are bad. If we multiply three by 365
days, it equals to 1,095 bad thoughts a year. If you
are 50 years old, how many sins or bad thoughts
47
have you had? Over 50,000 (and you know that three
sins per day is a very low number). If you were called
to court to answer for your debt of 1,000 traffic
tickets, what do you suppose the judge would say to
you? Your sentence would probably include jail time!
Yet, Jesus forgave an infinite amount of our sins. Let
us not do the same as what the servant who was
forgiven his debt did.
“28But that servant went out and found one of his

fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and
he laid hands on him and took him by the throat,
saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’” Matthew 18:28
What was a denarii? It was an average day’s pay for a

worker. Today, this is approximately $52. Therefore,
100 denarii were equivalent to $5,200, today.
“29So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and

begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will
pay you all.’” Matthew 18:29
There is a vast difference between $4.5 billion and

$5,200. Someone treating you badly does not com-
pare to the times you have sinned and offended
God. A few offenses God asks us to forgive com-
pared to the countless sins He has forgiven is not
asking much of us at all! If you find it difficult to
forgive, then you have forgotten the countless sins
48
Jesus forgave you. Let me help you remember: How

old were you when you received Jesus? If you try to
do the math, you will discover that like many of us,
you have been forgiven over 40,000 times. Knowing
this, how could you not forgive those who single-
handedly offended you 20 or 30 times?
What were we forgiven and spared from?
Every sin committed
Every iniquity
Eternal damnation
Eternal death and torment in hell
“31So when his fellow servants saw what had been

done, they were very grieved, and came and told their
master all that had been done. 32Then his master,
after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked
servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged
me. 33Should you not also have had compassion on
your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34And
his master was angry, and deliv-red him to the
torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
35
So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of
you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his
trespasses.” Matthew 18:31-35
49
After reading this, we can conclude the following:
The man who does not forgive must repay his

original debt. This would be like trying to repay
the debt Jesus paid at the cross. Impossible!
God the Father will do the same with those who

choose not to forgive. He will turn him over to
the torturers (demons). These will inflict anguish
to those who choose not to forgive.
What is torture?
Torture is defined as punishment inflicted with

intense pain causing agony in mind and body. God
allows demons to inflict pain and torture the mind
and body of those who choose not to forgive their
offenders.
Illustration: I have prayed for people who are un-

able to receive healing, deliverance, or prosperity due
to the bitterness and anger they hold for someone
else. If you choose not to forgive, you will be impris-
oned to pay your debt.
“20For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for

your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do
good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is
commendable before God. 21For to this you were
called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us
50
an example, that you should follow His steps.”

1 Peter 2: 20, 21
We must learn from Jesus. Although He was beaten

and crucified unfairly, regardless of what He felt
physically or emotionally, He forgave. Forgiveness is
not an emotion or feeling, it is a decision. Therefore,
do not wait until you “feel like it;” just do it!
51
CHAPTER IV
THE OFFENSE AND

THE C HRISTIAN
The development and maturity of a Christian is di-
rectly related to how he/she deals with offenses. It is
impossible to find a mature Christian who has never
been confronted by the decision to forgive betrayals,
offenses, and transgressions. Jesus shared this with
His disciples in many different ways. He wanted to
make sure they learned to deal with offenses and
keep their hearts clean. From the beginning of
Matthew 18, to the end of verse 35, Jesus mentions
the dangers of unforgiveness. This is the best teach-
ing on the subject. From His lips, Jesus declares
what He thinks and believes concerning offenses
and forgiveness. But first, we will begin unraveling
this chapter of the book with Matthew 17 since it
will help us understand this subject at a deeper level.
“24When they had come to Capernaum, those who

received the temple tax came to Peter and said, ‘Does
your Teacher not pay the temple tax?’ 25He said, ‘Yes.’
And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated
him, saying, ‘What do you think, Simon? From whom
do the kings of the earth take customs or taxes, from
their sons or from strangers?’ 26Peter said to Him,
‘From strangers.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Then the sons are
55
free. 27Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea,

cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first.
And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a
piece of money; take that and give it to them for Me and
you.’” Matthew 17:24-27
Before Peter entered the house, Jesus knew what

was on his mind. He could have reminded Peter
that, as God’s Son, He didn’t have to pay the taxes
for His temple. He held back these words and paid
the taxes to refrain from offending the tax collectors
and to keep Himself from becoming a stumbling
block. As the money miraculously appeared in the
mouth of the fish, He demonstrated who He was
through a supernatural sign.
Offenses are Necessary
Chapter 18 begins with a question posted by the dis-

ciples which had nothing to do with what Jesus was
saying:
“1At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying,

‘Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”’
Matthew 18:1
What does this question have to do with what just

happened? Why did the disciples ask a seemingly
random question when He was talking about taxes?
56
THE OFFENSE AND THE CHRISTIAN
The reason for their question was because they were

in disagreement with one another; therefore, even in
the midst of Jesus performing a miracle and unravel-
ing mysteries never before known to man, His
disciples were busy trying to resolve their own
aspirations.
In those times, when someone became a rabbi’s dis-

ciple, his greatest ambition was to eventually become
a teacher or rabbi and have his own disciples. For
this to happen, they had to stand out from the rest.
This is the reason for their preocupation. They were
worried about their position. Their mentality was
carnal and mundane—these days, we are shocked
when we see pastors surrounded by people in
pursuit of position! If Jesus, the Son of God, had to
deal with this problem, we can expect to also have
the same type of problem to deal with. Jesus did a
good job connecting the dots on this matter! He
knew His disciples had problems with dealing with
other’s offenses. Often, we are the last to know we
have a problem; that is, until the Word confronts us
with it by bringing to light that which was hidden in
our hearts.
What were they offended?
“33Then He came to Capernaum. And when He was

in the house He asked them, ‘What was it you dis-
57
puted among yourselves on the road?’ 4But they kept

silent, for on the road they had disputed among thems-
elves who would be the greatest.” Mark 9:33, 34
The disciples felt insulted because each wanted to

occupy a prestigious position in the Kingdom of
Heaven. They coveted a position next to Jesus that
would be greater than that of others. That conversa-
tion brought to light what was in their hearts. But
Jesus, the Word made flesh, knew what they were
thinking and exposed their thoughts in order to
cleanse them. The Word is a mirror to our heart; it
shows us why we must not trust in our own pru-
dence. No one can say, “Pastor, I have nothing, and
I am not looking for a position” because they don’t
realize what is in their hearts until the Word exposes
and confronts them. Thus, Jesus decides to illustrate
to the disciples some important principles that must
be observed in order to become great in the
Kingdom, He did this to engrave them in our hearts.
“2Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in

the midst of them, 3and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you,
unless you are converted and become as little children,
you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
4
Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child
is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”’
Matthew 18:2-4
58
These verses make it evident that we are missing one

great virtue: purity. We need to purify our hearts
until it is as clean as a child’s, whose goal is never to
attain a desired position. Children are teachable and
willing to obey. Let us look at certain principles we
can learn from the Master’s teaching:
1. It is necesary to be humble.
The first principle is that to be great in the King-

dom, we must be willing to forgive, and this can
only be accomplished through humility.
What does a child have that adults don’t?
A child will hug you shortly after you offend him.

Adults don’t forgive as easily. They will seek pay-
back. The child is humble and knows how to im-
mediately forgive the offense; they forgive and
don’t keep record of wrongdoings.
What does it mean to humble oneself?
The phrase to be humble is the translation for the

Greek word tapeinoo, which means: to abase; to
bring low. Anyone who lowers himself as a child
will occupy the greatest position in the Kingdom
of Heaven. Picture the following taking place, and
pay close attention: The disciples are sitting in a
59
circle surrounding Jesus and a child is standing in

the middle. He tells them that unless they be-
come like that child they will never enter the
Kingdom of Heaven. Why did He say that? Be-
cause regardless of how people may treat them,
children are always willing to forgive and to
humble themselves.
Humility has nothing to do with feeling worth-

less or unable to do anything. To be humble
means that we lower ourselves, of our own free
will, knowing who we are in Christ. When we
face difficult circumstances or have to deal with a
misunderstanding or offenses, humility says: “I
am not guilty, but I will ask to be forgiven.” The
key to becoming great in the Kingdom of
Heaven is to become like a child and be willing to
lower ourselves. Does someone owe you money?
Did anyone insult you? Humble yourself!
2. It is important to accept others.
The second principle is that people must learn to

accept others instead of becoming stumbling
blocks to them. Jesus continues to say…
“5Whoever receives one little child like this in My name

receives Me.” Matthew 18:5
60
Who does the child represent?
“ 6Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe

in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone
were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in
the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6
The child represents those who believe that Jesus

is their Savior. They are God’s children: defense-
less, innocent, and in need of love and care.
What does it mean to stumble?
A child stumbling and falling, unable to get up, is

symbolic of a believer’s defeated attitude after he
is lured into the enemy’s trap and caused to
stumble and fall. Hence, when Jesus said, “if
anyone causes a believer to stumble,” He meant people
better think twice before causing a new believer
to fall. Otherwise, this is what will happen:
“6Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me

to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung
around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the
sea.” Matthew 18:6
What is a millstone? Millstones were enormous

round stones used to grind wheat. This grinding
tool was often operated by a woman, but because
61
of the massive weight of the stones, donkeys had

to do it. Returning to the text, Jesus said it would
be better to hang that type of stone around our
neck and drown, rather than cause someone who
believes in Him to fall. Obviously, this was a
serious matter to the Teacher. So much so that
He gave up His life to save His little ones.
3. Offenses separate the approved.
First, Jesus taught we should lower ourselves.

Then, He said it’s better to throw ourselves into
the ocean with a millstone around our neck than
cause one of His little ones to stumble. But there
is more…
“7Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses

must come, but woe to that man by whom the offenses
come!” Matthew 18:7
Why did Jesus say that? Is He contradicting

Himself? Why is it “necessary” for offenses to
come?
“19 For there must also be factions among you, that those
who are approved may be recognized among you.”
1 Corinthians 11:9
For example: sometimes we ask, “Why do people

fight in church if we are brothers and sisters and
62
God’s children?” Jesus says that obstacles, of-

fenses, and impediments will always be a part of
our lives, for this is how those who are approved,
genuine, and worthy to receive a vision, a calling,
or a divine comission will be approved. God is
raising genuine people capable of forgiving every
offense, but for this to happen the offense must
be present. What should be our attitude when
someone offends us?
4. The genuine believer must learn to deal with

offenses.
If we know that offenses will always be a part of

our lives, then we should learn to deal with them
quickly. It does not matter which church we at-
tend, who we marry, or where we work, offenses
will be a part of our lives—they are necessary.
Illustration: The chances of a hurricane forming

and hitting Florida are consistently high each
year, forcing Floridians to protect their valuables
by purchasing home insurance. You would do the
same if you knew the threat was constantly in-
coming, wouldn’t you? Some people are terrified
of living in a place like this and avoid it, while
others learn to deal with the weather and hurri-
canes by insuring their properties and purchasing
storm-windows and shutters, food and supplies
63
to see them through in case one strikes. This

same attitude should be taken when dealing with
offenses. If we know they are an inevitable con-
stant in our lives, we should prepare to be on the
for-giving end of the offense in order to safely
and succesfully overcome it.
Let us review:
People who overcome offenses are genuine

and mature because God’s love is in them.
Offenses will always be a part of our lives;

regardless of where we go, someone is bound
to offend us! As a matter of fact, we will most
likely offend others.
Offenses are necessary. They separate those

who are approved, true, and genuine from the
hipocrites; they are able to forgive because the
love of God is in their hearts.
When there is a problem, those who genuinely

forgive will shine.
There will be traps in your path that will lure you

to fall, but remember that they are meant for you
to overcome them, not for you to use and cause
others to fall. If you know these obstacles will be
there, try to avoid them. As you do this, you will
64
also avoid becoming the instrument that causes

others to fall. Avoid making any comments
regarding the weaknessess or shortcomings of
your mentor with a new-born believer. Refuse to
do it! Don’t become the devil’s instrument.
Instead, choose to allow God to mold you into
His instrument and will lead others to salvation
rather than confusion or perdition.
5. God’s Word is offensive when we are not

aligned to it.
“60Therefore many of His disciples, when they heard

this, said, ‘This is a hard saying; who can understand
it?’ 61When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples
complained about this, He said to them, ‘Does this
offend you?’” John 6:60, 61
Jesus offended His disciples when He required

their commitment. We never know whom we can
count on until we ask them to commit. Doing
this reveals their true intentions and position in
every area of life.
Note for the single women: The best way to

discover your boyfriend’s true intentions to the
relationship is to ask him to commit. His reaction
will reveal how serious and committed he is to
the relationship and to you.
65
6. Bitterness and causing others to stumble can

lead us to hell.
The situation becomes precarious for the disci-

ples when Jesus begins to talk about hell as the
destiny that awaits those who choose not to
forgive. Forgiveness is a serious matter! Jesus
uses the human body to illustrate His point:
“8If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and
cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life
lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two
feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.”
Matthew 18:8
What did Jesus mean by this? Read Paul’s expla-

nation on the same matter:
“21It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do

anything by which your brother stumbles or offended or
is made weak.” Romans 14:21
Many will say, “According to Paul, I can’t drink,

but that is an exagerated declaration. Why should
I not be allowed to take a drink once in a while if
I don’t have a problem with one glass of wine?”
What Paul said was that if drinking one glass of
wine can cause others to stumble and fall, return
to worldly habits, or be tempted to do other
things, then it is better not to drink the glass of
66
wine. We must avoid becoming the reason one of

His “little ones” falls. To this, Jesus said, “Be
careful!” Some of our actions may not be sinful
in and of themselves, but that is not the point.
We must be precautious and watch that we do
not become a stumbling block for others. Many
have returned to their worldly ways because a
“Christian” caused them to fall. Cut out your
tongue before using it to cause a new believer to
stumble and fall!
What is my point of view concerning wine? The

Biblical foundation for not drinking is that it
could become a temptation to those who are re-
covering alcoholics. If you are sharing a meal
with a recovering alcoholic, it is unwise to place a
wine bottle on the table, to take a drink, or to
offer him a drink. That would be a lethal invita-
tion to fall again into that vicious cycle. In other
words, out of love for our brothers and sisters,
we should avoid drinking any alcoholic bevera-
ges. Another thing we should avoid doing, out of
love for new believers and for others in general,
is badmouth our church, pastor, leader, boss, or
anyone else.
People are looking for ways to justify their desire

to separate from God. They look for the most
insignificant reason to do so. The evil heart wants
67
nothing to do with God! Knowing this, we

should avoid making it easier for them to leave
the Father’s side. Out of our love for others, we
should be good role models and exhibit a good
testimony at all times. This does not imply that
we have the right to justify our actions; rather, it
means we ought to show our love and respect to
those who are just beginning to discover the
beauty of God and are trying to get close to Him.
“9And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and

cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life
with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast
into hell fire.” Matthew 18:9
Ladies, if your skirt is too short and is causing a

recovering pornography-addict to fall, especially
those who are still in need of deliverance from
the demons that opress them, cover up! Change
the way you dress, not because you are religious
but out of love for those who are trying to
change. If you have a non-caring attitude, you
will be the cause for their fall. Cover up! Don’t be
the obstacle!
Men, this is for you. If you are well versed and

know exactly how to deceive women by prom-
ising them the moon and the world, causing them
to fall into temptation, you have become an
68
obstacle in their lives. Where is your good testi-

mony? If you know that your actions and words
can cause women who are beginning to walk in
Christ to lose their way, stop it! Don’t be the
reason they submit to temptation!
Parents are often the reason their children lose

their way. They do this by bad-mouthing their
pastor and church; this type of slanderous behav-
ior causes our young people to leave God, and
live a less than desirable lifestyle. What is most
important? To demonstrate we were right and
prove we could do the job better than the pastor
(in our opinion), or to keep our children in the
ways of the Lord? The most important thing in
life is not to prove we are right but to avoid be-
coming stumbling blocks for those who want to
be saved and who want to live God’s will for
their lives; in other words, love our brother.
“21You have heard that it was said to those of old,

‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be
in danger of the judgment.’ 22But I say to you that
whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall
be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his
brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But
whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell
fire”. Matthew 5:21, 22
69
Perhaps it never crossed your mind that harbor-

ing bitterness or becoming the reason someone
else loses their way could cause you to spend
eternity in hell. Am I right? This is a serious mat-
ter that produces grave consequences.
7. God’s angels care for the little ones of the

Kingdom.
“10Take heed that you do not despise one of these little

ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels
always see the face of My Father who is in heaven”.
Matthew 18:10
God’s little children have angels watching over

them 24/7. The angels constantly look upon the
Father’s face in Heaven, deriving their strength
from Him to minister to them. Even if you don’t
feel a thing, you must believe it by faith because
Jesus said it. God’s angels are nothing like those
drawn or created by men—like those displayed in
many homes in the shape of babies or kids; that
is ignorance concerning spiritual truths. Angels
are colossal beings; powerful in battle and ready
for war. Those that accompany you see God’s
face and minister strength, life, and empower-
ment to you.
“7The angel of the LORD encamps all around those
70
who fear Him, and delivers them.” Psalms 34:7
We have a glorious God and the right to order

the angels at our disposal to fight for us. I have
felt God’s angels around me many times. They go
wherever I go, but I feel their presence more
when ministering during healing crusades. The
sensation of feeling their presence is comparable
to being surrounded by fire or like hearing the
sound that comes from being inside a wheel that
is within another wheel.
8. If our offense caused anyone to lose their way,

we must seek them, ask to be forgiven, and
restore them.
“11For the Son of Man has come to save that which

was lost.” Matthew 18:11
Jesus gave His life for the lost; hence, they are
important to Him. He basically said we should
not be the obstacles that cause anyone to fall
again; instead, we should be there to help them.
In the following verses, He clarifies the point He
is trying to make:
“12…If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them

goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to
the mountains to seek the one that is straying? 13And
71
if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices

more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did
not go astray. 14Even so it is not the will of your
Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones
should perish.” Matthew 18:12-14
When someone decides to leave the church, I

want to make sure it was not due to something I
did. If I discover it was my fault, I look for him
and ask him to forgive me. However, we are not
talking about a rebellious person who is easily
angered and always has a bad attitude. We are
talking about not becoming an obstacle in the
salvation process of other people. Jesus said that
if we want to be leaders, we must ask to be
forgiven if our actions offend anyone. I apply this
principle in my life. I have done it many times
and continue to do so. However, I do not do it
with those who are rebellious and walk away
spewing venom because their wishes and per-
sonal agendas were not carried out. I only look
for those that I did hurt, whether in word or
action. If I know that something I did hurt them,
I find them and ask to be forgiven. I also try to
bring that person back to the flock. That is what
Jesus was talking about!
If you have hurt or offended your children, leave

the comfort of your home and go looking for
72
them! If you hurt your spouse, seek him/her out

and mend your relationship today! In the book of
Acts we learn that upon Apostle Paul’s arrival at
an island, after a hard journey at sea, a fire was lit
to warm him up and the weary travelers. While
Paul was warming himself up by the fire, a
poisonous snake bit his hand. Instead of trying to
help him, everyone stood still waiting for him to
die, but the Bible says that God was with Paul.
“5But he shook off the creature into the fire and suffered
no harm.” Acts 28:5
Note: When people feel bitter and angry towards

the pastor or the church, they hope the church
will close down or are anxiously waiting for the
pastor to fall. Just like the woman you abandoned
divorces you and waits for you to drop dead.
Offenses act like a poison injected by a snake

into a person’s blood stream. It could kill in a
short time. When the offense attempts to affect
our spiritual life, we must remove its venom by
vaccinating ourselves with forgiveness—this is
this lethal venom’s only antidote that can save us.
Like Paul, we must shake off the snake—the
offense—and draw out its poison from our
system. In other words, we must forgive and
move forward.
73
9. Confrontation is a step to forgiveness.
“15Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and

tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he
hears you, you have gained your brother.”
Matthew 18:15
In many churches today, one cannot discuss the

topic of rebuking because most will complain
saying that it fails to show love; however, Jesus
said that when we are offended, we must rebuke
them in private. If your spouse offends you,
rebuke him/her in private; that is the first step
we must take. Some may say, “Why should I take
the first step if I was the one offended?” The
answer is easy: because Jesus said it was up to you
to take charge. Get rid of the pain that holds you
back; face it! Confront the offender and share
your feelings. If you are heard, you would have
won your brother.
“16But if he will not hear, take with you one or two

more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every
word may be established.” Matthew 18:16
This is rarely, if ever, practiced among Christians.

Instead of seeking forgiveness, most choose to
talk ill about their brother. If we harbor any
bitterness against anyone, why not follow the
74
counsel established by Jesus? We claim to believe

in God’s Word, but instead of honoring it, we
choose to speak badly of others, especially if they
are ministers or elders of the church. Doing so
not only destroys the person we are slandering
but also the little ones around us who hear our
bitter words.
“17And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.

But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to
you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
Matthew 18:17
We must privately confront those who offend us.

If the results are not positive, we must confront
that person again in the presence of a witness. If
the person continues to deny taking responsibility
for his actions, you can consider them a publican.
Who is a publican? Publicans were hated most in

Jesus’ times. They were thieves and unscrupulous
people who ate with prostitutes and the worst of
sinners. In reference to those who offend, Jesus
basically said that if after speaking to them three
times they still refuse to accept their mistake, they
may be regarded as being the same as publicans.
That person is not your brother. Therefore, do
not associate with him.
75
10. Unforgiveness causes the loss of spiritual

authority.
“18Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth

will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on
earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 18:18
In this verse, Jesus begins to teach about author-

ity. If we are unable to forgive, we will not have
any au-thority to prohibit or to allow; to bind or
to loosen. The word bind, in the spiritual realm,
means: to declare something illegitimate or to
prohibit. When we want to exercise spiritual
authority over our children, Jesus warns that we
will not have the authority due to the unforgive-
ness in your heart.
“19Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth

concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for
them by My Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19
What was Jesus’ message in this context?
He was stating the necessity to be in agreement, even

with those who offend us. In fact, this is a way to
ensure our prayers will be heard. In other words, if
we can no longer agree and lose harmony with our
offenders, we lose the opportunity to receive
answers to our prayers. However, if we can restore
76
it, our panorama will change too—our hearts’ desires

will not be hindered from coming to pass. We will
undoubtedly receive it.
The word agreement is the translation of the Greek

word sumfoneo, the root of the English word simphony,
which is defined as: to make sounds in one accord. If
musicians are in disagreement, they will be unable to
play in harmony. Unforgiveness is a stumbling block
in the unanimous flow of the body of Christ. In
order to be in agreement, all parties must be free of
offenses. Otherwise, God will not answer our
prayers for they are being made with a resentful
heart. Remember, in the same way a melody cannot
be played without harmony and unity, our prayers
cannot be made. As long as unforgiveness remains in
your heart, you will not be able to play the same
melody with your brother. If you disagree with your
children, you will not play the same symphony. You
will always want something different. When both die
to self and set aside individuality, you will both play
the same melody. Let go of your grudge, be in
agreement with your brother/sister, pray the same
prayers, and God will answer.
77
CHAPTER V
THE DANGERS OF
UNFORGIVENESS
Unforgiveness imposes serious dangers to those who
choose not to rid themselves of bitterness and the
desire for vengeance. We learned of a few that are
mentioned in Matthew 18 in the previous chapter. Let
us now learn of other dangers:
Dangerous consequences of unforgiveness:
Those who choose not to forgive will be cast into

hell.
Those who harbor bitterness will be turned over

by God to the tormentors.
Unforgiveness is a powerful and alluring agent of

demons. When God turns someone who refuses
to forgive over to the demons, the torture will be
the constant reminder of the offense and the pain
suffered; it is a mental torture. The word torment-
tor, in Greek, means an interrogator, jailor, or
torturer; all are synonyms for demons. If God
turns people over to them, He is the only one
who can set them free.
81
“35 So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each

of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his
trespasses.” Matthew 18:35
The individual who refueses to forgive becomes

an impenetrable stronghold. When people get of-
fended, a wall is raised between them and the rest
of the world. These people are inpenetrable. No
one can reach them. They are like a well fortified
city; thus, choosing not to forgive can lead to hell.
Jesus said:
“19A brother offended is harder to win than a strong

city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
Proverbs 18:19
People who are offended raise protective walls

around themselves. They close their hearts off to
the world, are unable to trust, and suspect every-
one is out to get them. These people are silently
dying inside. They have few friends precisely
because of the protective walls surrounding them,
and as long as they remain in this state of mind,
they will feel dead inside.
“14We know that we have passed from death to life,

because we love the brethren. He who does not love his
brother abides in death.” 1 John 3:14
People who choose to live with unforgiveness

82
use expressions such as:
Every man and woman are the same; that is

why I don’t get involved with anyone.
I am free; hence, I refuse to submit to anyone.
Marriage is a farce.
All pastors are scoundrels.
I don’t trust anyone because people are always

betraying me.
How can love be expressed?
Love is expressed through hugs, kisses, service,

prayer, gifts, taking care of others, and more.
Many people say, “I neither love nor hate that
person.” That statement is a lie. We either love or
we hate. In God, there is no middle ground on
this matter; to Him, everything is black or white.
However, one thing must be made clear: loving
someone does not mean we have to be hugging
and kissing that person all the time, but it does
mean our heart has to be free of bitterness and
unforgiveness. Remember, people who choose
not to love their brother abide in death.
The individual who refueses to forgive does not

have eternal life in Him.
83
“15Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you

know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in
him.” 1 John 3:15
If one who is harboring unforgiveness has an

accident and dies he will perish forever because he
does not possess eternal life in and of himself. In
other words, people with unforgiveness, having
hate in their hearts toward their brother, are sepa-
rated from God. Those who hate and speak badly
of others are the same as murderers. Why? Be-
cause talking bad about someone else is equivalent
to destroying or killing someone’s character,
reputation, and influence.
People who do not forgive are poisoned; likened

to a person who is bitten by a venomous snake.
“3But when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and

laid them on the fire, a viper came out because of the
heat, and fastened on his hand.” Acts 28:3
Fire is symbolic of the Holy Spirit’s anointing.

When Paul is bitten by a snake, the people imme-
diately assumed it was a punishment from God
due to sin.
“4So when the natives saw the creature hanging from

his hand, they said to one another, ‘No doubt this
84
man is a murderer, whom, though he has escaped the

sea, yet justice does not allow to live.’” Acts 28:4
This was a common assumption among the peo-

ple. They believed that people who were running
from the law would suffer the fate of being bitten
by a snake. They probably sounded something like
this: “Look at him, an apostle living in sin!” If
Paul had felt self-pity and miserable because no
one helped him, he would have died. Instead, Paul
just shook off the snake.
“5But he shook off the creature into the fire and

suffered no harm.” Acts 28:5
Unforgiveness destroys and causes as much dam-

age as snake bites; it eats away the life of those
who are offended. The poison penetrates and
devours every area of their lives until they drop
dead.
“6However, they were expecting that he would swell up

or suddenly fall down dead. But after they had looked
for a long time and saw no harm come to him, they
changed their minds and said that he was a god”.
Acts 28:6
Why did the onlookers fail to help Paul? Why did

they just stand there instead of trying to shake the
snake off? They were watching and waiting for
85
Paul to die. When people become offended they

want to see their offendor “pay”; thus, they lurk
around just enough to see them die or see their
marriage fail, or lose their job, amongst other
bleak payback fantasies. In my experience, for
example, people who felt offended by me have
left our ministry spewing venom against our
church in hopes that it would close down. These
people were simply manifesting the effects of
unforgiveness. They take a venomous bite against
their offenders and stick around long enough to
see them fall and die. Don’t allow this to happen
to you! Shake off the snake and forgive the
offense. Jesus is the God of second chances.
When we mess up and “offend Him,” He instant-
ly forgives us and helps us up, not down.
“16For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise

again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.”
Proverbs 24:16
Illustration: Once there were two brothers who

grew up poor, they always lacked food and cloth-
ing. They were abused, mistreated, and hopelessly
waiting for their lives to improve. Throughout
their childhood years, their only thought was to
survive, to figure out where their next meal would
come from, and to defend themselves when
others tried to abuse them. When they became
teenagers, one said, “ I was born poor and will die
86
poor. This is my destiny.” The other said, “I was

born poor and was abused, but someday I will
become a lawyer.” The latter shook off the curse
of poverty, hopelessness, and the offense that
came from his father’s words, “You are so stupid.
You will never amount to anything.” With great
effort, he put himself through school and gradu-
ated. What made the difference? Both men were
brothers who suffered the same difficult upbring-
ing, but one stayed in poverty while the other
became a success. The difference between them is
that one man learned to shake himself off. He
refused to allow negative circumstances to defeat
him. He learned to let go of the offenses and
shame and look beyond the horizon and see the
future he was confident he could reach.
Learn to shake it off. Don’t allow other’s hurtful

words or actions to destroy God’s call for your
life. What you see today in me, Guillermo Maldo-
nado, will change tomorrow. Those who criticize
me wish me to rot and die; but I laugh at the devil
because I know that: He who started the good
work in me will be faithful to complete it to the
end. People say things like, “That will end some-
day. It will fall away at any given moment. He will
fall over dead at any moment. Just look at the
rejection, depression, and abuse. He will rot and
die.” However, keep this in mind: If you shake off
87
the serpent of bitterness, rejection, pain, abuse,

and offense, you will achieve and enjoy everything
God dreamed for you.
The enemy takes advantage over you.
Most have no clue what forgiving others entails

because they are unable to forgive themselves;
they need to know that God forgives those who
repent, that’s all! Unforgiveness is an open door
to the devil who wants nothing more than to
enter our homes and destroy our finances, our
health, our children, our peace of mind, and any-
thing else he can get his dirty hands on.
“11lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are

not ignorant of his devices.” 2 Corinthians 2:11
The prayers of those who are bitter are

hindered.
Unforgiveness destroys our relationship with

God, and His presence no longer abides in us.
Jesus exhorts us to set aside all things and fix our
relationships with those who have hurt us.
“25And whenever you stand praying, if you have

anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father
in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25
88
God does not accept our offerings.
Every offering to God is a living sacrifice, and He

cannot accept it from a contaminated heart. A
sacrifice given under this circumstance is a
strange and abominable fire before God. Some
people wonder why they are unable to prosper
even though they tithe and give offerings unto
the Lord. If this is you, begin to analyze your life.
Is there unforgiveness in your heart?
“23Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and

there remember that your brother has something
against you…” Matthew 5:23
Our faith is cancelled.
It is impossible to believe God when we are hurt-

ing and feeling offended. Faith and resentment
cannot flow from the same source at the same
time. Regardless of how hard we try to believe
God’s Word or confess it, we will not be able to
take action by faith. Unforgiveness blocks our
faith preventing us to believe.
Our love will lose its warmth.
Unforgiveness prevents God’s love from flowing

in us because we cannot love and hate at the
same time. This is precisely the reason God’s love
89
will not be able to flow in any relationship until

all wounds and heartache are healed. Often, we
hear couples say, “I don’t love my spouse any-
more.” Yet, it is usually not the case. That person
did not suddenly stop loving their spouse; rather,
it is that they are harboring unforgiveness which
has caused their love to grow cold.
We cannot afford to ignore the severe consequences

of unforgiveness, especially now that we know what
they are; it is not worth taking the risk of fighting
against God. Remember, He forgave us our debt—
one we would have never been able to repay. Don’t
wait until you’ve been turned over to the demonic
torturers to cry out for deliverance. Be wise and
forgive now!
90
CHAPTER VI
THE POWER OF
GRACE TO
FORGIVE
Forgiveness is no easy task when the pain seeps
through a deep wound or when the offender is
someone close to our hearts. Some offenses are easy
to forgive, but others require a lot more from us than
we can deliver. If the offense is more than we can
bear, we need God’s grace and supernatural power to
forgive. This chapter will show us how His power
works and what we have to do to activate it and gain
access. Jesus died on the cross to give us peace. He
paved the way for us to live in harmony with Him,
ourselves, and others. However, to make this posible,
we need the power of His grace. Grace and peace are
inseparable; they work hand-in-hand.
What is peace?
The word peace is not merely defined as tranquility or

the absence of conflict. The true origin of this word
entails having a restored relationship with our Crea-
tor. God’s purpose is for our relationships, home, and
church to be full of peace.
“22That you put off, concerning your former conduct,

the old man which grows corrupt according to the
93
deceitful lusts, 23and be renewed in the spirit of your

mind, 24and that you put on the new man which was
created according to God, in true righteousness and
holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24
The Word is clear: We need to make a decision. The

moment we do, God will bestow us with the grace
needed to maintain a forgiving heart. We no longer
have to live in anger because the power of divine
grace sets us free.
What is grace?
Grace means to be granted God’s unlimited power

which includes every dimension of His glorious and
eternal life for us. Grace is given to help us become
what we cannot be in our own strength; it helps us do
what we cannot accomplish on our own. Grace is not
to be mistaken with mercy. God’s mercy is when God
spares man of his punishment; in other words, when
man does not receive that which he deserves. On the
other hand, grace is giving man what he did not earn
on his own. Grace is the expression of God’s riches
being freely given to mankind through Jesus’ sacrifice.
Grace is free but not cheap. It may not have cost us
anything, but it cost Jesus everything.
Illustration: Grace is likened to the steering wheel

of an eighteen- wheeler. If you try to move it before
94
THE POWER OF GRACE TO FORGIVE
turning on the engine, you will fail miserably—it is as

hard as steel because the steering wheel can only be
moved after the engine is running. Once the motor
is running, however, it becomes extremely easy to
move the steering wheel, even with just one finger!
Why? Because it is not being done in your strength,
but by the power released when the key was turned.
God’s power is ready to be turned on full throttle,
but it will not happen until you learn to put His
Word into action. The instant you decide to get rid
of the old man (the old mentality) the power of
grace will come and make you free, and you will be
clothed with the new man—the new you.
“26'Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go

down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26
When can you express anger without sinning?
I believe the only valid moment you can express

anger is when you witness the damage caused by
Satan’s evildoing against others; if you are angered
by his destructive works, by injustice or abuse
against the weak and innocent (i.e. children, widows,
orphans), then our anger is justified and acceptable.
However, if our anger is self-centered, it is sin. If
after we have been mistreated, offended or discrimi-
nated against we get angry and refuse to let go and
forgive, we are choosing to sin.
95
“27nor give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27
When we allow anger to remain,

we give the enemy a foothold in our life.
If my wife offends me, I cannot say to her, “This

time, I will not forgive you.” We call this giving the
devil a foothold. Don’t allow the sun to set on your
anger. Do something to correct the situation. Let go
of the offense. Otherwise, it will be like a ticking
time-bomb that will eventually explode. If the pro-
blem is not dealt with quickly and effectively, you will
pave the way for the enemy to stroll right into your
life, family, and church. Satan can sit at the front row
in church and say, “I will ruin every service because
there is an issue of anger that has yet to be dealt
with.”
“28Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him
labor, working with his hands what is good, that he
may have something to give him who has need.”
Ephesians 4:28
This verse also includes those who steal tithes. There

are countless thieves in church who fail to tithe at
church or pay their state taxes. They fail to realize
that the reason we work is to give. The reason we do
96
more and work more is to give more to the

Kingdom.
“29Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but

what is good for necessary edification, that it may
impart grace to the hearers”. Ephesians 4:29
There are three important commands in the Bible:
1.) Build
2.) Grant others grace
3.) Be quiet
“30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom

you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Let all
bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be
put away from you, with all malice. 32And be kind to
one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even
as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:30-32
What did Jesus say about anger?
“22But I say to you that whoever is angry with his

brother without a cause shall be in danger of the
judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’
shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says,
‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.”
Matthew 5:22
97
If we speak this way to our brother, we risk losing

our lives and spending our eternity in hell. Further-
more, our offerings will be negatively affected.
“23…if you bring your gift to the altar and there

remember that your brother has something against you,
24
leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way.
First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and
offer your gift. 25Agree with your adversary quickly,
while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary
deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the
officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26Assuredly, I
say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you
have paid the last penny.” Matthew 5:23-26
Remember: If we give the devil a foothold, he will

say, “I heard that person speak badly of his brother.
Therefore, I will enter his home, his business, and
his body because his action opened the door for me
to enter his life and do as I please.” In this case, God
has no choice but to grant this request because He
must be just, even with His enemy, the devil. It is
common to hear Christians say that the devil attacks
them. Why does that happen? Could it be that their
actions allowed the enemy access into their lives? If
so, there is hope when we choose to be like Jesus. He
walked this Earth for three and a half years as a
human, yet had authority over the enemy because He
was always obedient to the Father.
98
“30I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of
this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me.”
John 14:30
When the devil has a basis for claiming there is sin in

our lives, he can go before God and demand his
rights. He could not touch Jesus, not because He was
God but because of His obedience. Jesus never
allowed the devil a foothold on His life. If we strive
for the same, he will not be able to touch us, and we
will defeat him on every front. Jesus was tempted in
every area, but never sinned. Like us, He also got
frustrated with people, but He never allowed anger
to get the best of Him; thus, never giving the devil
an opportunity to work against him. When the ad-
versary accuses you, run to the blood of Jesus,
cleanse your heart, and the devil’s charges against
you will not succeed.
“9If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to

forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
In this text, the word confess means: to speak the

same and to agree with God. Otherwise, the devil
will find a legal loophole to destroy you. The devil
will not hesitate to deal with you in the area of sin
before you proceed against him on the basis of
justice. Many of you pray, intercede, and do warfare
99
against the devil; and yet, you continue to be vulne-

rable against the spirit of vengeance because you
allow the enemy to attack you when you fail to take
God’s Word seriously.
Illustration: I knew a pastor that used his influence

and authority to manipulate his board of directors.
Because of this, the devil attacked him. After much
fighting, the Lord showed him that it was his actions
and his choice that opened the door to the enemy,
allowing him into his life.
Illustration: Once, I spoke against one of my minis-

ters. I criticized him for doing something wrong. A
few days later, I got sick without any apparent reason.
After three days, I asked the Lord about it. He
revealed to me that I had opened the door to Satan
when I criticized His anointed one. Although what I
said was true, it did not give me the right to attack the
anointed of the Lord. When I asked God to forgive
me, the fever and body pain immediately left me.
Using anger and force to manipulate situations gives
the devil a foothold into our lives. What else did
Jesus say on this matter?
“15Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell

him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears
you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15
100
The purpose for rebuking another person is not to

humiliate or degrade him; it is to win him over.
“53But they did not receive Him, because His face was
set for the journey to Jerusalem. 54And when His
disciples James and John saw this, they said, 'Lord, do
You want us to command fire to come down from
heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?'”
Luke 9:53, 54
The disciples were offended when the people chose

not to accept Jesus, but He was not offended. In-
stead, He rebuked the disciples and went to another
town. Jesus did not allow offensive behavior to
affect Him. He continued on His way, carrying out
the Father’s will. This is the ideal way to live. We
should never allow people’s behavior to affect us.
We cannot live without relationships. We must be at
peace with everyone around us. If necessary, we
must seek to reconcile with those who offend us,
privately. No one needs to know what happened.
Sadly, sometimes we share what happened to us with
everyone because we want their sympathy, instead of
talking about it with the one who offended us. We
must seek the offender and say, “I must get this out
in the open because I don’t want to give the devil a
foothold in my life. Let us resolve our differences,
now.” To receive the fullness of God in every area of
our lives, we must be in constant harmony and peace
101
with God and others. Many ministries, churches, and

people live with countless unresolved situations
while expecting God’s power, presence, and bless-
ings to fall. They fail to realize that their unresolved
anger and unforgiveness are blocking God’s power
in their lives and ministry. They don’t take this
matter seriously.
Without communion there is no peace

When relationships are healed, peace returns home.
Jesus Tells Us What We Must Do
“16But if he will not hear, take with you one or two

more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every
word may be established. 17And if he refuses to hear
them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to
hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a
tax collector.” Matthew 18:16, 17
This is a serious matter. If the offender does not

repent, Jesus says we can consider him to be in the
same category as as pagans and tax collectors. If we
consider and agree with Jesus’ teachings, then we will
realize that the final authority on such matters is the
church. There is no greater authority than this. One
of the biggest problems in the body of Christ is that
102
most have no idea what authority really is and what it

implies. God let us know that someday we will judge
the angels and the world. Since this is true, why then
do we continue to struggle to resolve the small
problems if we are the final authority of God’s gov-
ernment on earth? If we fail to recognize the
authority we have as Christ’s church, how can we
expect Satan and the world to recognize it?
If I notice my relationship with my wife getting

rocky, I do whatever it takes to mend it and keep the
peace, especially now that I know that our relation-
ships have a domino effect: If my relationship with
my wife is suffering, there will be no way to keep the
peace at home with the rest of the family. Likewise,
if my relationship with some people at church is
sufferng, the rest of the congregation will experience
unrest and the lack of peace in God’s House; hence,
my commitment to maintaining peace in all areas is
firm. Regardless of how difficult it is or how much it
demands, with the power of divine grace I will do
what it takes to keep the peace at home and at
church. It is difficult to forgive when we are angry
because anger prevents us from seeing the situation
from the proper perspective. And yet, we must keep
in mind that if we are angry with someone who
offends us, God’s anointing will not flow in our
lives. If I ever preached with anointing while being
angry at my wife, it was only due to God’s grace.
103
The areas in which we hold unforgiveness

are infected with demonic influences.
How can we forgive?
Remember, it is not easy to forgive in our own

strength when an offense has caused a deep wound.
However, you should also remember the illustration
of the steering wheel. Once we make the decision to
forgive, the power of grace will be ours. When the
engine of grace is turned on, we are empowered to
forgive those who betray us or caused us harm. After
forgiving, our only desire will be to wish the best for
them and for God to bless them supernaturally.
I have no ill feelings towards those who have

criticized or betrayed me. Instead, I pray for God to
prosper and grant them their due inheritance. I rejoice
in knowing they are doing well. It is impressive to see
how people will continue to remember the harm
done to them even after ten years. However, the
Bible teaches that love does not keep a record of
wrongs. People who learn to forgive don’t keep
records. When God forgives us, He forgets our
transgressions and remembers them no more.
104
“19Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth

concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for
them by My Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19
The Greek definition for agreement is to play the same

symphony. If we are not in harmony—in disagree-
ment—with our spouse, our prayers will not be
heard. When parents are out of harmony with each
other, the children suffer most because the devil will
attack them to the point of death. On the other
hand, if the leadership in the church is in sync, it will
produce a symphony that will flow down to the con-
gregation. The same principle can be applied for all
areas of our lives.
“20For where two or three are gathered together in My

name, I am there in the midst of them.”
Matthew 18:20
The idea behind this verse is that people lose their

individuality to become one (“In Christ, it’s no lon-
ger about myself, my ministry, or whatever awaits
me.”). Pay close attention! This has nothing to do
with losing your God-given identity, but about losing
your egocentricity. I know that most people come to
church to see what they can gain from it, never
thinking about what they can contribute.
Illustration: Some time ago, I experienced a very sad
105
situation with a man I had ordained as a minister of

my church. I welcomed him. I birthed him in the
Spirit and led him to maturity. Sadly, as soon as I
commissioned him as a minister, he betrayed me. He
left the church talking badly about me and the
leadership. He even left taking things that did not
belong to him. He stole from me. He lied, slandered,
and contaminated others around him. It was not easy
for me to forgive a man to whom I had given a part
of my life to; someone who betrayed me after I
equipped and trained him. This was a very difficult
time for me. But the moment I went to God, I asked
for His grace and faith; it was then that I was able to
forgive him. I never could have done it in my own
strength, but I did forgive and let him go with divine
grace. Today, I confess that I bless the man who one
day betrayed me and talked badly about me (and still
does). I am sincerely happy that he is doing well. By
God’s grace, I forgive him. I am free and able to
preach from the pulpit without bitterness; hence,
God’s anointing has never stopped flowing in my life
and continues to increase. As stated earlier, I am
willing to do whatever it takes to maintain peace in
the Body of Christ.
Forgiveness must become a lifestyle, not only on

specific occasions because insults will always take
place in our lives. We will always be tempted to be
offended. Therefore, it is imperative that we grow,
106
mature, and learn to depend on God’s grace in order

to keep offenses from opening the door to the
enemy and making a home in our heart; when it is
hard to forgive, only God’s grace can renew and help
us move the truck of unforgiveness by empowering
us to turn the key that starts the engine. This is the
only way we will remain pure before God and keep
our offerings and prayers from being hindered.
107
CHAPTER VII
FORGIVENESS AS
A LIFESTYLE
The product of forgiving seventy times seven is 490
times per day, per person. I don’t believe anyone is
able to forgive that many times each day. Truly, what
Jesus is saying in the following verses is that if we
keep record of how many times we forgive someone,
then we have not truly forgiven them. Also, with this
multiplication He is teaching us that forgiveness
should be a lifestyle.
“3Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against

you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4And
if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven
times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you
shall forgive him.' 5And the apostles said to the Lord,
'Increase our faith.'” Luke 17:3-5
“21Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how

often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive
him? Up to seven times?' 22Jesus said to him, 'I do not
say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times
seven.'” Matthew 18:21, 22
Each believer must arm himself with the following

thought: “I choose to make forgiveness a lifestyle.
111
Regardless, of who hurts me or how often I am

offended, I will always be ready to forgive. Jesus
forgave my “billion dollar” debt, how can I not
forgive those who owe me because of their offenses?
A virtue of a mature believer is that he easily forgives
those who offend him and quickly repents when he
offends. If you have no bitterness or anger against
anyone, your heart is clean, pure, and ready for God
to bless you. Let us analyze and answer some
questions that will help us incorporate forgiveness
into our lifestyle. Sometimes, we forgive those who
ofend us, but when a really bad offense comes, we
have no idea how to deal with it.
What should we do when we are offended or

when someone hurts us?
When we are offended or when someone insults or

aggravates us, we must decide to forgive as quickly
as possible.
“26When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath

(your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until
the sun goes down.” Ephesians 4:26 – AMP
The Word teaches we should not allow the sun to

set on our anger. In other words, we should forgive
before the day ends. This is a principle that must be
practiced in every marriage. It is important for
112
FORGIVENESS AS A LIFESTYLE
married people to vow never to go to sleep angry

with each other; to forgive any offense commited
during the day. This same principle should be
applied to every relationship. Don’t wait for the day
to end before asking to be forgiven or before
forgiving those who have offended us. God’s Word
is clear when it says we should forgive, whole-
heartedly. If we wait to feel something in order to
forgive, we will never do it. We must do it as an act
of faith. Even when I have mixed feelings against
someone and feel they don’t deserve forgiveness, I
must decide, by faith, and do it by grace.
Is it hypocritical to forgive without feeling the

desire to do it?
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a decision to obey a

divine mandate. The Word commands we should
forgive. We cannot wait to feel like forgiving. It
should be done whether we feel it or not.
After forgiving, should we maintain or end the

relationship?
The relationship does not have to be maintained.

Some believers feel guilty and believe they must stay
in the relationship to complete the cycle of forgive-
ness; this mentality is erroneous.
113
Does time erase the offense and pain?
No! Time doesn’t erase offenses or pain. On the

contrary, if we allow the offense to grow roots in our
heart, for a long period of time, it becomes harder
and harder to forgive. The only One able to heal and
take away our pain is Jesus, and this is only possible
when we forgive with all our heart.
Who should take the initiative to forgive: the

offended or the offender?
Both! Some people believe the offender must be the

one to take the initiative in the healing process.
However, in Christ, both must seek each other’s
forgiveness.
Should the person be physically present when

the offender asks to be forgiven?
On occasion, it is important to do it personally in

order to restore the relationship but not always. If
we repent and confess before the Lord, He will heal
and forgive us. Therefore, it is not necessary for the
other person to be present. For instance: If I am
bitter against someone, I don’t have to find that per-
son and personally ask to be forgiven. However, I
should confess my feelings to God with the firm
decision to change with the power of His grace.
114
How should we deal with those who refuse to

accept our repentance?
If you already asked to be forgiven and the other

person refuses to accept it, it is no longer your
problem—it is now between God and that person.
When you asked to be forgiven, you were set free
before the Lord because you did your part.
How can we be certain that we have forgiven?
The easiest way to know if we have forgiven is to

examine our feelings when we remember the of-
fense. If remembering that moment no longer causes
us pain, then we have forgiven. We cannot erase the
event but God can. We will remember it, but it will
no longer affect us or cause us pain. We can talk
about or hear of the event and it will not hurt us.
Never stop loving because of a bad experience.
Forgive and continue loving because those who love
are happy and blessed. Stop raising protective walls
around your life simply because you trusted and gave
your heart to someone who hurt you. Practice
forgiveness as a lifestyle and be happy!
Keep loving and God will continue blessing you!
115
How can we forgive, wholeheartedly?
Forgive is an act of free will. As previously stated,

forgiveness is not a feeling but a divine mandate.
Therefore, decide right now and God will take
care of the rest.
Ask God to forgive you for the sin of judg-

ment—when people choose not to forgive
because they are hurting, they will spew pain,
anger, envy, judgment, and other poisonous
words.
Make a list of people and situations that have

caused you pain.
Verbally express your desire to forgive. The word

exereologeo, in Greek, means: to express the pain
lodged in the soul through confession. Your
internal pain will heal as you continue to vocally
express your forgiveness.
“16Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for

one another, that you may be healed. The effective,
fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
James 5:16
Renounce every spirit of hate, bitterness, anger,

and resentment so you can experience physical
healing.
116
Ask the Holy Spirit to heal the pain you feel

because of the offense.
Bless and pray for those who offended you.
Repeat the following prayer aloud, and do it with all

your heart:
“Heavenly Father, today, I decide to forgive everyone who has

offended or caused me pain. I repent for keeping a record of
offenses and for harboring anger, resentment, unforgiveness,
and hate against (Names of people who hurt you). I repent
for having judged (Names of people you have judged). Right
now, and of my own free will, I forgive… (Names of the
people you need to forgive). I forgive them with all my heart. I
renounce to the spirits of unforgiveness, hate, bitterness, and
resentment and rebuke them from my life. Lord, heal my pain.
Now, I pray and bless (name everyone). I ask you to bless
these people and their families. I declare myself free and healed
of every pain. In the name of Jesus, Amen!”
117
TESTIMONIES
Let’s get acquainted with a few people who were
delivered from unforgiveness by intercessors and
deliverance ministers in our church. Their names
have been omitted to protect their privacy.
Testimony #1: The model prayer in Matthew 6:12

left to us by our Lord says, “…forgive us our debts
as we forgive our debtors.” This verse reveals the
imperious need we have to forgive. If we forgive
10%, we will receive the same amount of forgiveness
from the Father. On the other hand, if we forgive
100%, then we will enjoy the victory over unforgive-
ness—a lethal weapon often used against us by the
enemy (Satan).
During the years I have served in the deliverance

ministry at King Jesus (El Rey Jesus) International
Ministry, I have witnessed the deliverance of many
people from the spirit of unforgiveness. I rejoice
with them because they were set free with the power
of the Holy Spirit when they made the choice to
forgive. I remember once, a young woman about 17
years old, who had been repeatedly sexually abused
by her father. This had taken place from the time she
was five years old. Unforgiveness mixed with hate
poisoned her heart. She went from being a happy
child to growing up and becoming a very sad young
119
lady. She was terrified of nighttime because she

knew that darkness would bring to her bedroom
door the silhouette of the man she called daddy—
the one she also hated. Her deliverance was difficult.
It was very hard for her to forgive, but when she
finally surrendered, the Holy Spirit was able to
penetrate and heal every fiber of her being.
Immediately, she was delivered of hate, resentment,
and unforgiveness against her father. Today, she
serves the Lord in our church. When I look upon
her face, I see a young woman who is able to smile
and love. This was made possible because she made
the decision to FORGIVE! Praise God!
Testimony #2: I had the opportunity to minister to

a woman of approximately 35 years of age. This lady
had a very sad and painful past due to her growing
up in extreme poverty. She lived with her 15 siblings
and was born with a speech impediment. The defor-
mity in her lip caused her much shame, but the
worst pain was produced by the rejection and
mocking that came from those who should have
loved her the most: her siblings and mother. When
we reached the point in her deliverance where she
needed to forgive and express her pain, she started
to cry inconsolably. Talking about her past was very
difficult, so much so that she had never shared it
with anyone. She recalled that she worked very hard
as a child in order to provide financial support to her
120
TESTIMONIES
household. Early in her childhood, two of her

brothers began to verbally and physically abuse her.
At nine years old, they sexually abused her, causing
her great shame as they made her participate in
orgies with men, women, and even friends of the
family. This is how she spent her days, in hopeless-
ness, shame, and suffering because she could not tell
anyone. Her brothers had threatened to do worse if
she told. It took her 10 years to build up the strength
and courage to tell her mother what was happening.
Sadly, it was in vain because her mother refused to
believe her. Instead, she was severely beaten for
raising false witness against her own brothers. At
that point, her mother decided to separate her from
the family and sent her to the United States penni-
less and completely alone.
When she tells her story, she recalls that her

relationship with her mother was never good. She
was constantly told by her mother, among other
things, that she wished she had never been born and
that she hated her and was the shame of her family.
The hurtful words and the abuse built up resentment
and hate against herself, her life, and the people who
had caused her so much harm. She was separated
from her family and chose not to keep in touch with
any of them. During this time, she met Jesus, as her
Lord and Savior, which led to the decision of
allowing someone to minister inner healing and
121
deliverance. The instant she started to recall her past,

her heart began to soften. The unforgiveness in her
heart had caused her to live with bitterness and pain;
her heart had grown cold by her experiences.
Needless to say, she had a hard time forgiving. It was
especially hard to mention their names, but the Holy
Spirit took over and set her completely free. Today,
she feels whole; she was restored. After her deliver-
ance, compassion and mercy grew within her; these
new feelings led her to call her family. When she
spoke to her mother, she told her everything that
had happened to her. Knowing that her daughter
had forgiven her made such an impact in her life that
she also received the Lord as her Savior; the entire
family followed after her.
Testimony #3: Truly, God is the healer of our heart

and soul, but it is difficult for Him to deliver us
when there is unforgiveness in our hearts. A few
months ago, I ministered deliverance to a 16-year-
old young lady. She had been verbally and sexually
abused by her father while under the influence of
alcohol. She never received love or kindness from
either her mother or father. The unforgiveness in her
heart towards her father was so deep that when she
was asked to close her eyes and imagine her father
sitting in front of her, she was unable to express her
forgiveness. She said she could not do it because she
saw him as a monster. The roots of unforgiveness
122
TESTIMONIES
towards her natural father made it impossible for her

to call or even consider God her “Daddy,” not even
in prayer. Unforgiveness held her back from discov-
ering our heavenly Father’s wonderful love. She
desperately needed to realize that the God’s embrace
is merciful and comforting; greater and more
powerful than anything in existence. During the min-
istering session, the Holy Spirit suddenly began to
minister the love of God upon her life. At that
moment, all resentment left. It disappeared. God set
her free, causing her to forgive her father and to
finally feel the love of our heavenly Father.
Testimony #4: I want to share with you an experi-

ence I had with a 35 year old woman. She came
looking for help, in desperate need of inner healing
and deliverance. For eight years, she had been
sexually abused by her father. She hated nighttime
because that was when he abused her. At 13, she left
home to live in her cousin’s house. Sadly, he also
raped her, and the abuse continued for a year. His
threats kept her from saying anything. At 16, she was
married and had three children. Her eldest son was
raped by his grandfather—her father. Imagine the
condition of this lady’s heart. When I asked her to
renounce her unforgiveness, she was not able to
utter a word much less his name. I immediately
rebuked the spirit of unforgiveness, resentment,
hate, and the root of bitterness, in the name of
123
Jesus—the Lord said He came to undo Satan’s

works. With His help, she was able to forgive her
father and everyone else who had ever caused her
any pain. Today, she has peace and joyfully works in
our ministry. All things are possible because He paid
the price at the cross for everyone!
Testimony #5: When we talk about unforgiveness,

we know it is one of Satan’s powerful traps against
the believers. Because of it, many are imprisoned by
hate, bitterness, and often suffer physical sickness. I
remember one case in which I ministered inner heal-
ing and deliverance to a Christian man. This young
man was mistreated by his father who constantly
rejected and beat him since he was a child. His hate
for his father was so great that he would fantasize his
death. One day, when he was 17, his father died. He
recalled that moment saying he felt happy, glad that
his father was no longer alive because that meant his
suffering would end. But it did not; for now, this
man was imprisoned and tormented by the spirit of
unforgiveness. The bondage was so strong that the
hate and bitterness against his father lasted over 35
years. He wanted to be free and looked for help.
When he was ministered inner healing and deliver-
ance, the Lord set him free. Jesus made him free!
Testimony #6: Unforgiveness is a grave and recur-

ing problem affecting the body of Christ. I dare say,
124
TESTIMONIES
most people have unforgiveness in their hearts. I will

briefly share one testimony of unforgivenss that
impacted my life in ways I cannot begin to describe.
A man came to church in search of help. He had
received Jesus in his heart and was now making an
appointment for an inner healing and deliverance
session. When this took place, I learned he had been
mistreated and ignored by his father and sexually
abused by a friend of the family at the tender age of
five. From the time of the abuse, he began to feel
hate towards his father and all men in general. He
became a drug addict at an early age and had many
homosexual experiences thereafter; this was due to
the hate he felt towards men and the lack of a pater-
nal figure in his life. The spirit of unforgiveness in
his life had opened doors to other oppressing spirits
including: the spirit of pedophilia, bestiality, fornica-
tion, and more. The Lord set him free of the spirit of
unforgiveness and every other spirit operating in his
life for over 40 years. Today, he is a man of God,
actively serving in the ministry. With this testimony,
we learn what a simple offense can do in an
individual’s life and the spirits that can be loosened
because of it; hence, the importance to be ministered
in inner healing and deliverance.
“13And you, being dead in your trespasses and the

uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive
together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses,
125
14
having wiped out the handwriting of requirements
that was against us, which was contrary to us. And
He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the
cross.” Colossians 2:13, 14
In conclusion, we must understand that unforgive-

ness begins with an offense that has not been dealt
with immediately; thus, it becomes a seed in our
hearts that grows into an enormous tree filled with
the fruit of hate. Yet, we learned that offenses are
necessary for our spiritual growth and that they will
always be a part of our lives. When we are offended,
it is natural to feel hurt, but that pain can teach us to
mature spiritually. It is important to remember that
forgiveness is not based on feelings; rather, it is a
personal decision we must make, wholeheartedly.
Otherwise, the consequences we will eventually face
will be gigantic and hard to defeat. If we want our
life to be full of joy and continued blessings and
victories, we must adopt forgiveness as a lifestyle.
Finally, by lifestyle I mean we must be ready to

forgive, regardless of the depth of the offense or
how often it is inflicted upon us. Forgiveness is a
choice that must be practiced daily. Furthermore, we
must be ready to forgive not only our relatives but
also our enemies. We cannot allow ourselves to fall
prey to the enemy’s trap and lose love. There are
countless testimonies of people who have taken the
126
TESTIMONIES
bait and now live in misery: lonely, sad, bitter, and

full of hate, rather than love. Many have died of
bitterness. Others are sick and suffering with ulcers,
arthritis, cancer, stomach pains, and more. We
cannot afford the luxury of keeping record of how
often we are offended nor can we continue to feel
bothered and harbor unforgiveness. Remember that
Jesus said we have to forgive 490 times a day which
basically means that forgiveness must be a lifestyle
we choose to practice daily.
“15See, I have set before you today life and good, death
and evil; 19I call heaven and earth as witnesses today
against you, that I have set before you life and death,
blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you
and your descendants may live.”
Deuteronomy 30:15, 19
No one can decide for us. The decision is ours. Are

you ready to forgive?
“19Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than

to divide the spoil with the proud.” Proverbs 16:19
Forgiveness is given
by grace not merit.
127
BIBLIOGRAPHY
BIBLIOGRA PHY
Biblia de Estudio Arco Iris. Reina Valera 1960;

Nashville, Tennessee: Broadman & Holman
Publishers, 1995.
Blue Letter Bible. April 12, 2006.
<http://www.blueletterbible.org/index.html>
James Strong, The New Strong's Exhaustive Concordance
of the Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas
Nelson, 2001.
Lock A. Ward, Nuevo Diccionario de la Biblia. Miami,
Florida: Unilit Editorial, 1999.
The Amplified Bible. Grand Rapids, Michigan:
Zondervan, 1987.
The Tormont Webster's Illustrated Encyclopedic Dictionary.
n.p.: Tormont Publications, 1990.
W.E. Vine, Diccionario Expositivo de las Palabras del

Antiguo Testamento y Nuevo Testamento.
Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, 1999.
ISBN: 0-89922-495-4.
Webster’s New World International Spanish Dictionary

English/Spanish. Indianapolis, Indiana: Wiley
Publishing, Inc, 2004.
128

The Dangers of Unforgiveness PDF

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

The Dangers of Unforgiveness PDF

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

THE

"I have called you to bring My supernatural power to this generation

The Dangers of Unforgiveness

Project Director: Addilena Torres

Printed in the USA

Jesus came to this world to establish

Testimonies .................................................................. 119

Bibliography ................................................................. 128

A fundamental principle required to live well in the

During the three and a half years of Jesus' ministry,

This book contains counsel that is 100% effective for

Forgiveness means to do the same as God did for us:

Offense Resentment Unforgiveness

How does an offense reach the heart of an

“2For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does

The offense affects the heart when there is lack of

feel offended and are less likely to keep record of

The following are a few examples that might cause

The meaning of the word offense:

Offense is the Greek word skandalon; it means: trap,

block. For example: a fisherman uses a small fish as

How do we apply the term offense or skandalon

The enemy uses other people to offend us, and they

each time someone does or says anything to offend

Those who are treated unfairly

Those who think they are being treated unfairly

If you tend to be easily offended, than you can be

“10And then many will be offended, will betray one

Three important points to remember about offenses:

1. Offenses are a part of life.

“1Then He said to the disciples, ‘It is impossible that no

Regardless of your relationships, where you go,

The only way to avoid being offended

2. Offenses or stumbles promote growth and

“7Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must

God uses offenses to help us grow spiritually—

Judas is Necessary in our Lives

Some people come into our lives to betray us;

sends a Judas to do these things to us, but I do

We need to change our perspective regarding

3. Offenses will sift those who are approved.

“19For there must also be factions among you, that

Those who are not God’s children will be unable

What signs prove there is unforgiveness?

People who choose to hold grudges manifest

When people are hurting, judgement and anger

“30... ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the

A feeling of joy when the offender suffers.

Perhaps it is not expressed, but they often rejoice

When people who are hurt remember the person

They tell everyone what was done to them

People who choose not to forgive continue to be

The one offended will experience dizziness if the

Believes the offender lacks good qualities

When people are offended, they tend to conclude

undeserving of anyone’s trust. In most cases, it

What should we do when we are ofended?

“26‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go

The longer we hold on to the offense in our hearts,

Absalom’s Sad Example

Absalom, King David’s son, held in his anger for a

“22And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither

Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to