CASE OF FRESHNESS

Baking a cake is no ordinary task. It requires the precision of a surgeon operating on the
cardiac valves. You need to know the recipe at the back of your hand, as well a the Pope
knows the bible. Letʼs craft a chocolate-blueberry gâteau today. What are all then
components weʼd need to birth and assemble this masterpiece. Weʼll start by creating an
amalgamation of a cup of cocoa and 2 cups of water as hot as Habanero peppers. Donʼt just
use any cocoa powder. The cocoa powder you use has to be as fresh as the pineapples
growing in the pristine fields of Hawaii. Stir this mixture until itʼs got the texture of smooth silk
sheets sprawled over a greek mattress. Leave this aside, it needs to cool down and recover
from the volcanic fire it has been put through. We now pre-heat the oven to 350*F. Of course
we need to prepare the oven. It is the all-giving womb where our precious batter will fertilise
itself and transform into a beautiful gâteau. In a medium-sized bowl, sift 2 cups of flour.
Drizzle half a teaspoon of salt, baking powder, and soda each. Let each grain fall into the bowl
like the first rains of the much-awaited monsoon. Be as accurate as an archer in the olympics,
waiting to release his arrow. Now, use an electric mixer bowl. Drop a cup of unsalted butter, 4
eggs, some vanilla extract, and 2 cups of granulated sugar, as white as fresh cocaine straight
out of Columbia. Beat it like the King of Pop performing live in Bucharest, full of energy and
pizzazz. This concoction must be light and fluffy, like an Angora rabbitʼs fur right after itʼs
blow dried.

At low-speed, add the cocoa blend into the flour mixture in 4 turns. Beating as you go, one
step at a time. After all, every great invention requires patience, respect, and most of
all...discipline. The important thing to remember, is to not let the anxiety get you jittery and
make you over-beat the batter to a point where itʼs rendered as useless as the letter ‘Hʼ in
‘Honestʼ. Now, pour it out and divide it equally in 3 layer-cake pans. Divide it with care,
harness your inner child from when your mom asked you to share and you had to break a
chocolate in half to give to your sibling. Smooth out any ripples or breaks on top. Let the
batter rest placidly, like an African lake on windless autumn morning; unperturbed. Bake for
25-30 minutes or until the top balloons up like the heavy diaphragmatic movement of a
slumbering canine. Let the pans bask in the oasis of the warm desert-like oven. Take them out
and let them cool like a couple of sloths hanging from a tree, blowing off some steam after a
long day of... well, sleeping!

Now, for the finale, like every puzzle in the world is put together using its uniquely designed
and carefully crafted ingredients. Gently place the first layer on a serving plate. Put it down
like a mother puts her baby to sleep. Spread a layer of unprocessed blueberry jam on it. On
top of the second layer, gently spray out a layer of whipped cream, chilled like the Himalayan
ice-caps. Flip it over and place it on the jam-topped layer. Repeat with the third layer and
cover the cake with icing. Top it all off with garden-fresh blueberries, a fruit juicy enough to
satisfy a flock of wild Macaws.
Voilà! A mouth-watering chocolate-blueberry gâteau.