David Brown

5/12/2020
English 3 H, Block 5
Mrs. Storer
Hollywood (Revised)
(This is a completely true story by the way)
When I was around the age of 5 or 6 and it was a Friday, I sat in school and waited for
the bell to ring. I was really excited because my mother was taking me to Hollywood. I didn’t
know what for, but I knew that it was going to be fun. At least that what she said…
She calls to me, “Hey, David ready to go?”
I return, “Yes! I’m really excited what are we going to do up there?”
“You find out when we get up there” she said obviously holding back a grin as she closes
the car door.
She hopped into her seat and we drove and drove and drove. It felt like days. We finally pull up
to a small building in LA.
I tilt my head back and leer up at the sign: “School of Acting.”
I reflect back to the many school plays I’ve been in and the main roles I’ve played. I guess I’m
pretty good. Anyways, I walk towards the ominous looking door. It towers over me, but I’m too
excited to care. I enter and take a right. I see a small stage and what looks to be fake cameras.
There are a bunch of chairs facing the stage and sitting in them are other kids. I sit down next to
one of them named Delilah.
Delilah with a weird, unfounded attitude greets me: “Hi, are you new?”
I nervously respond trying to gain intel on what I’m about to experience: “Yes, I’ve never
done this before is it fun?”
Delilah sneers sarcastically, “Yeah, sure, you’ll love it.”
We start class and we are going through lines and they are teaching me a lot about body
language. Honestly, I didn’t know it was that important. I’m messing up a lot and it’s kind of
embarrassing, but suddenly we start to practice a fake commercial.
The lights blaze on with vibrant heat.
I cover my face as my eyes began to sear… I whimper, “ahhh hisss!”
A man sneers at me behind the mockingly bright light. The film board clamps down with a loud
snap.
 The sneering man haunts, “Camera… Lights…”
He points to me and a look of worry and fright slaps my countenance. I tried to muster what
courage I had. I stare into that fake camera, and finally, something clicked. For the rest of the
session, I was having fun and doing my lines with excellent accuracy. We go back home, and I
think about the day I had.
The next day, my mother received a call from an agent, and I started going to auditions almost
every weekend for commercials, TV shows, and movies. Apparently, the fake cameras weren’t
so fake after all.
There was only one problem… I would never have a normal life and that was very important to
me. Also, I didn’t like the three hour drives every weekend.
I complain to my mother on a ride back: “I don’t think I want to do this anymore. I want
a normal life.” She understands and we never return again.
~Le Fin~

My emotional truth:
Sometimes we take for granted the simple things in life. A normal childhood and playing
with your friends after school. These moments when you are very young and extremely
important to any person. I am glad I stopped acting. Another truth you can translate from this is
just because you’re successful doesn’t mean it is the right thing for you.
Story Arc:
Exposition: Myself in school waiting for my mother to take me to LA.
Inciting Incident: I going to acting school and becoming talented.
Rising Action: My mother receiving a call from an agent.
Climax: When I get my first auditions
Falling Action: The drives home that I realize that this is not the life for me.
Conclusion: The ride I told my mother I did not want to do acting anymore.

Strategies:
a. Describe the setting to set a mood or to reflect or contrast how a character is feeling
i. Quote: “Anyways, I walk towards the ominous looking door. It towers
over me, but I’m too excited to care.”
ii. Explanation: I am personally excited, but for most this door is ominous
and stress-producing.
 b. Use tangible and intangible items to describe your characters (think about the tangible
objects as symbolic of your character in some way)
i. Quote: “I stare into the fake camera and something clicked.”
ii. Explanation: The tangible item was the “fake” camera. It represents the
acting life that people think it is like. The acting that’s full of fun, doing
movies, and being famous. The camera turns out to be real. This real
camera represents the life that it actually is like. This real life is a struggle.
You can go to thousands of auditions and land maybe ten. It is the acting
life and I can tell from experience it isn’t much fun.

Kind of interesting note: Also, I just want to mention this… Right before I quit I got one last
call from my agent saying that Nickelodeon called for me. Apparently, they wanted to give me
my own show. So, I might have been Henry Danger/ Drake and Josh/ something like that, but I
hated the life so I’m still glad I quit.

EDITS:
I feel that my initial story wasn’t what fit the prompt. I interpreted the
prompt as telling a personal story rather than trying to create the most
intense story feasible. My initial story’s purpose was misguided. It was
to inform about an experience I had in full truth and what I could
recollect. The prompt called for the story to elicit some sort of
suspenseful feel. Anyways, my edits were adding more descriptive
language, making the build-up to the climax more exciting, and overall
improving the flow of the story.