Influencing

1. Start with a clear objective

2. Be liked. Key factors in this are having friendly body language (especially smile),
being a great listener, and complimenting others (genuinely!)

3. It is essential to understand the other person. What’s in it for them? Imagine

being them – what would convince or motivate you if you were them? Use
questioning to find out what will make them change their position.

4. Adapt to each of the four types: Analytical, Controller, Enthusiast, Amiable.

Logic only works with some people. If they are a facts person, confront them
with a detailed factual record. But often feelings can be more powerful than
facts, since they cannot be argued with. Consider saying honestly how you feel.

5. What you say may not be true. What they say must be true, to them. So use
questioning to get them to say what you want. (e.g. “How would more exercise
improve your life?”).

6. Involve them in helping solve the problem. Ideally they will feel that the solution
is theirs – or at least partly theirs.

7. Consider making the situation more painful for them (perhaps by doing nothing)
so that they have to agree to making changes of some sort, preferably the ones
you want.

8. Sometimes offering them a choice of two evils works better than offering them
one yes-or-no evil.

9. Suggest a small, easy, trial first step.

10. What objections do you expect them to come up with, and how will you handle
these? They may not come out with their real objections straight away. Discover
the real objection by peeling the onion – “Apart from that…”

11. Overcome objections by using “I know how you feel, I felt the same way (repeat
some of their statements), but what I found was…”