a Book 15 € Proprieties of Amj Br whee Gomparisiar and ocial Intercourse ae 15.1 Amity and Brotherhood 45.1.1 The Merit of Amity and Brotherhood Know that amity is the result of. good mann ers, Good manners bring about Ves in nothing but ae ae ae and harmony, whereas bad m: gion cannot be absent from am aed disparity. The merit of good ewer Tesult His Prophet, may Allah's ester ta exalted is He, praises the good aes e thou art upon a mighty morality}. All ee be upon him, when He says: {. .. surely beupon him, said: ‘That which helps peopl lessenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace hess and having good manners.” And te en eee Berea g i Gadeean a, sai dict was centoineriecie te! Be ee eae blessings and peace be upon him, it cannot ‘ eae peabeea from anyone that the fruit of good manners is amity and the tions that praise a is iy ihe ees Ser ane aia, edits and tad , especially when the bond is that of God-feari ert er of Allah. Showing His great bounty to people for the cea fealed is He, says: (Hadst thou expended all that is in the earth, thou couldst not a if rought their hearts together; but God brought their hearts together}. He also ee its so that by His blessing you became brothers. . },° namely, by means of amity. and h er, Allah, glorified is He, dispraises disunity and warns against it by saying: Ai old you fast to God's bond, together, and do not scatter}.° a. vals Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace beupon him, said: The believer di nds and is befriended, and there is no good in someone who does not befriend ai i not befriended” He, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, also said: A ah, exalted is He, will on the Day of Judgement say: “Where are those who loved ne another for My glory? Today I will shade them with My shade, this day when Cre is no shade except Mine.” Allah’s Messenger, may ‘Allah's blessings and peace be Upon him, said: ‘Seven will be shaded in ‘Allah’s shade when there is no shade except _. two men who Joved one another for Allah’s 9 In another saying, the Ei and he mentioned amongst them ’- i P e: they assembled for His sake and departed for the same’ Tophet, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upo? him, said: i him an an- different tow, S° Allah sent eat man came upon the angel, the latter 9” ‘J want to visit 4 prother of mine in this and discordance that of bad manners A man visited a brother of his 1 gel to meet him on the way. asked him: ‘Where are you g0iNSeee oe Uqhe angelisaid; Have YOU (ee aa ae ae ioe to capitalise?” The man said: ‘No! Lam only vig. bounty on which y in Allah, glorified and exalted is He? The ange] Berens, « e him fine See eee toyou that Allah loves you as you love that man said: | al in Him.” i ing amity, ‘Abd Alig ns of the Prophetic Companions concen ah ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be well pleased with father and son, said: ‘By God! Would ty fi e the ay without interruption, pray the whole night without exception and spenq fas wealth for the sake of Allah, it would be of no benefit to me if, come the day | die, Beast have love in my heart for those who are obedient to Allah and hatred for those who are disobedient to Him: ‘As for the traditio 15.1.2 The Meaning of Brotherhood for Allah’s Sake Know that love and hatred for Allah’s sake is an ambiguous matter. What follows be- low will help clarify it. Companionship is divided into: that which happens by chance such as companionship due to living next to each other or due to meeting in school, the marketplace or in travelling, and so on, and that which develops by choice and intent. It is this latter type of companionship on which we would like to expound, Brotherhood in religion inevitably falls into this category, since one is not rewarded except for those acts that are performed by choice. Moreover, encouragement occurs only in such acts. Companionship is tantamount to keeping company and proximity, and a person does not intend these for someone else unless he loves him. Those who are not loved are avoided, shunned and not sought for interaction. That which is loved is either loved for itself, or because it leads to one’s pursued goal. Here four subdivisions can be discerned: The first is that you love someone for his own person. This is quite possible. In such a case, you love this person in himself, in the sense that you delight in seeing him, knowing him, and observing his traits, all because you see him in a favourable light Anything that is beautiful is enjoyable for him who has perceived this beauty, and anything enjoyable is loved. Joy results from appreciation, and appreciation stems from affinity, suitability and correspondence between different temperaments. Ful- thermore, that which is appreciated can be either the outward form (i.e. good looks); ae ont rprion thm or gout mane conde bee , just as erudition follows perfection of the mind. All this prccated Bay Heslthy temperament and lucid mind. _ There is really no human faculty capal ; ing about ti affinity. Alla Messenger may Allah bessing sel peace be apo eno sO s rents 7 2 camer tes a Cie as ae saan those that recognise one anothé! It ensues from this that a man can be lo ed Gok Ove on ee hn ved for his own person, not for any bem! one’s desire. Beautiful forms ar looking at different fruits, lights, flowers, selves, to the extent that one cae no other reason than these thing: : tunning water and greenery, and this s in themselves. Such love is not included in love iah’ sake. This is rather love ul pe imag) ned even in someo: ie ge second Subdivision is thar ong t°80t believe ved. The Means to the beloved ig bel oes SOmethi due to na ral di ne who di al isposition ONS. pelo ing, then that ‘other thing’ i¢. 4. °9 too, fe ot r thing’ is the sand ANS to a a Cl eon Sone ae noneled a Tener: Since they oY Pele love gunn se es re loved in th For acquis sery desired: nl 5 in the sam, ring th ere as speans t0 2 Specific goal. Now, when the benefit 228 80ld and sijyes {iM that are ppreof it cannot be considered a love in Allah hh is confined that they are cs ing teacher is acquiring knowledge and nots and his love for his teacher cannot be consi, The third subdivision is that one loves e something else and the latter is not due mething share inthe world to come. This is quite of this is the student who loves his teacher a to acquire knowledge and improve his pract knowledge and practice is success in the afterlife. This those who love in Allah. Furthermore, it to one’s share in thi obvious and EL nd sheikh because thro tice thereof; and his pu to this world, e 8 else, then hig reg) 1 teen love for hi , : fo dered love in mi beloved i I his eds knowles not i is world, but rather to one’ but ‘oone’s isno ambiguity. An example ugh him he is able Purpose in acquirin; student is considered angle isnot pcontin 0 does not love a worldly share at all. The supplications eres in Allah that one rophets, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon them, Were commanded to make join between this world and the next. Among such supplications is: {Our Lord, give to us in this world good, and good in the world to come}. This world and the world to comearebut two phases, one being closer than the other. How, then, can it be imagined that a man can love the shares of his soul tomorrow, but not today? Furthermore, such a person loves these shares tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a status quo. The status quo must, therefore, be desired too. What is meant by this is that ifa student loves his teacher because the latter comforts and teaches him, he would Allah. This is even though comforting is an immediate b the benefit of knowledge is in the world to come. The fourth is where that which is bel ot in order to acquire knowledge or pr: 'sthe highest form of love, as it is them Among the signs of the overwhelmingness of -actice or as a mei ost subtle and obscure, Jove is thatit exten even if be amongst those who love in enefit for the student, whereas loved is loved for Allah's sake and in Him, ans for something else. This put it is also possible. ds from the beloved to thisis only’ remotely so. He y i ith it yone “erything that is related to and has affinity with pe apes Hoves and 2) Who intensely loves a person will also Jove anyone ho loves, serves or praises this person. Expo S> too is love of Allah, exalted and slot’ 4. Oerpowers the heart, it overwhelms it an’ © Meh for everything besides Him is but ® sign of li Love of Allah can sometimes «SS expected in the life to come; Som ferent kinds of bounties that Allah ba" | hing except Allah's Entity. The lave’ * alyptat is meant here is thet oF it 2S2Who observe the rights of Bo 4'S0 results in the love of anyone x character or observing the ae Se thand the afterlife to be informe etimes itis aUC” as pestowe® osure and expe fied is He. to £ His omnipot 0) ince pe due to asin at highest and ™ be sjence all point to this fact. en this love Sede : all that which exists De ipotence-her an ignorant sinner, he will invariably find himself inclined towards the sch, aes teh an inclination is love in Allah and love for Him, for in this instance ie shares of the ego play no part whatsoever. The scholar devotee is loved because Allah loves him, and because heis pleasing to Allah, loves Allah and is busy with the Worship of Allah, exalted is He. It ensues from this that anyone who loves a scholar, or devotee, or loves 8 person who desires to acquire knowledge or do good, then this person loves him in Allah an for Allah, and his reward will be commensurate with the strength of his love for Him, 15.1.3 Hatred for the Sake of Allah Know that anyone who loves in Allah must inevitably hate in Him. Ifyou lovea person because he is obedient to God and is beloved by Him, you will inevitably hate him were he to disobey God, for he is then disobedient to God and hated by Him. Anyone who loves for a specific reason must necessarily hate for its opposite. The difficulty, though, is when acts of obedience are admixed with acts of disobedience, for you may then say: “How can I reconcile love and hatred when they are contraries?’ My answer is that they are not contraries. If a person is endowed with traits, some of which are loved and some hated, you can love this person in one respect and hate him in another. A man who has a clever, dutiful, sinner son, may love his son in one respect and hate him in another. He is with him in between the two positions. Showing hatred to someone in speech takes effect sometimes by abstaining from speaking to him, and sometimes by putting him down and speaking harshly to him. Showing hatred through action can sometimes be through ceasing one’s help to a per- son, and at other times through hurting him and spoiling his wishes. Some of these measures are harsher than others, and this depends on the degrees of sinfulness and disobedience that the person displays. As for that which can be considered a slip, if a person is known to regret and will not persist in committing it, it is more fitting to conceal it and turn a blind eye to it. The Degrees of Hatred for Allah’s Sake If you were to say: ‘Showing hatred and enmity through action, when it is not oblige- tory, is undoubtedly praiseworthy. Nonetheless, there are different degrees of sinners and offenders, do we deal with them all in the same way?” [Then in reply] you should know that contravening the command of Allah, glot fied is He, can be divided into three different categories: The first is infidelity. The infidel who wages war against the Muslims deserves be killed. As for the dhimmi; it is not allowed to harm him, unless it be by means of avoiding him and showing him scorn. In any case, it is more appropriate not tom» deal or eat with him. Relaxing with him as one does with friends is extremely off?” sive. Allah, exalted is He, says: {Thou shalt not Find any people who believe in 6 and the Last Day who are loving to anyone who opposes God and His Messengeh” though they were their fathers, or their sons, or their brothers, or their clan}. The second is the blameworthy innovator, If this blameworthy innovator calls oth ers to his innovation and the latter renders him an infidel, then his case is more seriou than the dhimmi. If, on the other hand, this innovation does not render him anim! fide! then his case, between him and his Lord, is inevitably less serious than that of the § The dhimmis are the People of the Book who live under Muslim rule.THE PROPRIpT, OF sog, ELATIONS RIETIES op g AL Ri IN: infidel. However, his conde: ; infidel. The reason being that the should be stronge, Tims believe in his infidelity and wan not oes not different with regard to the blamew, she Heed to wh and claims to be calling to the trath, gy "0Vator wh tation for people; his evil therefore blameworth; hatred, enmity and estrangement cea others. Hen 'm, and de, The common blameworthy innovator, The third is the offender, Namel, E > S ly, the one who offends in his acti in the tenets ty If the Offence is such that metals eal actionsand works, not sion, usurra ion, false witness, backbiting and talebearin; ie ed by it, like oppres- those who engage in such acts and not to interact or have fe ots Peter #0 avoid because an offence that involves harmi oa ings with them. This is hat 0 ing others is very serious. Those whi Beneotiers a eid into those who transgress against people's nettiae a gress against their wealth and those who transgress against their honour. Some pf eee mors Serious than others. Associated with these offenders are Pave the way for the means of corruption, facilitate its courses for people and assemble men and women together. Anyone who does this Tequires that he be humiliated, avoided and ostracised. The matter is less serious regarding someone whose transgression is confined to his own person, such as drinking wine, overlooking an obligatory act or engaging in a prohibited action. However, this person should be stopped if he is caught indulging in his transgression, for forbidding evil is obligatory. This person should be advised, if advice is enough for him, not to return to transgression; if it is more beneficial to display harshness towards him, then harshness should be displayed. This, however, differs according to the person's intention. 15.1.4 Required Traits in a Companion Know that not every person is fit to be a companion. Allah's Masses oe ets blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘A person follows the religion o} fF i jends."* A companion must certainly pos- let cach one of you consider whom he ements! . vane roe Sess traits for which his companionship is souen Bee ai ne bact The benefits relating Companion depend on the benefits that one Sa raraligibus, Sought from companionship can be either Wé ly mere comfort igation. The alth or standing, or simply m< Say in the scope of our investi to this world include drawing pro! : . ( ee . not fall within the scope ch as benefit- th meeting and proximity. This doe combine different inierest ave king help in importan five character- vught must have se offender nor a blameworthy Teligious benefits of companionsht ing from knowledge and the practi the blessing of supplication. ire a short, the person a eae neither sciousness is primary, for there istics: hi t be judicious, wel maT. orld. Judiciousne he intends to Fe cvatse anes t be bent on this w yharm you whence by that innovator, and he mustino any of a fool who ae be judicious, we mean by 1Sno good in keeping the cone *» companion shoul benefit or help you. When W' ce of it, See!ings for what they are. Good manners are also pomeanriyte ee encounter ious person who is ovente ess. There is no good in pote me ea of such e offender, he is someone who does not fear lah, and one ig p, ae aA of someone who does not fear Allah. Companionship of the bane worthy innovator is also to be avoided because it entails the danger of spreading hig innovation and the extension of its infamy to others. Abi Dharr al-Ghifar, May be well pleased with him, said: Solitude is better than the evil companion, ang the righteous companion is better than solitude: Keeping the company of someone is bent on this world is a deadly poison, for people’s natures are well-disposed to ini. tation and emulation. In fact, a person's nature can appropriate elements from othery natures without realising it. Hence, keeping the company of someone who is Dent on this world moves one to be bent on it too, just as keeping the company of the abstinent moves one to abstinence. This is why it is offensive to keep the company of worldly people, and praiseworthy to keep the company of those who desire the life to come. “ali ibn Abi Talib, may Allah be well pleased with him, said: “Revive the acts of obedience by keeping the company of those towards whom one has diffidence’ Ang Ahmad ibn Hanbal, may Allah have mercy on his soul, said: ‘Nothing causes me tg fall in tribulation except keeping the company of those in front of whom I do not feel ashamed? Luqman said: ‘Son! Keep the company of the men of knowledge and let your knees rub theirs, for hearts are enlivened by wisdom in the same way as a dryland is enlivened by a heavy downpour of rain? sary in companionship, for by anger, desire or miserlin 15.2 The Rights of Brotherhood and Companionship Know that the pact of brotherhood is a bond between two people which requires rights, and these rights must be observed in order to fulfil the due of brotherhood. Your brother has a right upon you in your wealth, person, tongue and heart by means of your pardon, supplication, sincerity, loyalty, making things easy on him and also by leaving affectation and not imposing yourself on him. Eight rights combine all the aforementioned: 15.2.1 The Right Relating to Wealth This necessitates that one co-operates with one’s wealth in times of ease and hardship, shares with one’s brother in the immediate and long terms, and removes from wealth any claim of ownership or monopoly. Comforting one’s brothers with w comes in three degrees. The lowest degree is that you treat your brother in the sti Way as you would treat your servant. In this case, you fulfil your brother's needs your excess money. When your brother has a need, and you happen to have some a cess money, you hasten to give it to him without obliging him to ask. Obliging hi” ask is to be remiss in fulfilling the right of brotherhood. The second degree is that you treat your brother as you would treat your ow? = accept to share your wealth with him, and place him on the same footing as you to the extent that you accept to divide yourNow, if you do not hay | ai !PPeN to fi our brother, then you sheet eee a the? any ofth et been forged inwardly. enn Pat of brotherhood fe eee Vos fo weight from the ration: , is ne degree with which ae A: their affair bei - of that We have provided them}, mene ar bags from those of the ace be upon him, asso- the latter put hi al of the former, But the latter said: ‘May Allah bless It is reported that Malik i ana. e pf Hasan al-Basri while the oe eee pe Vas entered the house all of food from under Hasan al-Basirs bed and cee ion Vast got out a basket |e 2 n astTs bed and started eating from it. Upon seeing ee itn inar ad him to stop eating until the owner of the house returned. M hammad ibn WasiS however, Just ignored him and carried on eating. Malik ibn Eases known to be simpler and of more refined manners than Muhammad ibn Wasi 5 When Hasan al-Basri finally came back home he addressed Malik ibn Dinar: ‘O Malik! This is how we used to be. We never used to be timid towards one another until ou and your friends came along. He was referring here to the fact that the feeling of ease that one senses in the homes of one’s brothers is an indication of the purity of the brotherhood. This is evidenced by the saying of Allah, exalted is He: {There is no fault in the blind, and there is no fault in the lame, and there is no fault in the sick, neither in yourselves, that you eat of your houses, or your fathers’ houses, or your mothers’ houses, or your brothers’ houses... or that whereof you own the keys, or of your friend; there s no fault in you that you eat all together, or in groups separately}. This is because some of them used to give their brothers the keys of their houses, putting their houses at their disposal, but out of ‘God-fearingness, their brothers would feel Ce a ing from their food, until Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verte, granting em P mission to feel at ease regarding the food of brothers and friends. } i «ng to Helping with one’s Person ae _ aca ith one’s wealth. The lowest This has also different degrees, just as aed airs me ee pte is s fee ae fle = Sea rovided with a happy mien and cheerful- able to deliver. However, - ‘ less. A sage said: ‘If yo to provide you with something you need an id ge said: ‘Ifyou ask your prother to p! ie ae oes no’ = : im, for it is possible that he has forgotten. Bu ye eae h a he dos yt, remind him, A ‘ and he still does not, then was! {him and read this Quranic verse: (4 your nana ill raise them up, then unto Him : dead, God will 2% es Swer only will those who ee ee ¢ e protherhood if it does not result in will be returned}: Ther oa al ’5 brother as one is towards oneself. a ywards ones i ii m] assionate to rar assion, so that one is comPtod BOOK 15 brother's need ought to be considered as your own need, ifnot eee a also to check your brother's times of need, be mindful ofc ae of affairs as you are mindful of your own state of affairs, and spare him the need tg isk or to show his need for help. In fact, you should fulfil his need without him knowin and, rather than thinking that you did him a favour, you should consider that he di you a favour by giving you the opportunity to help him and fulfil his need, Hasan al-Basti used to say: ‘Our brothers are more beloved to us than Our familia, and children, for our families remind us of this world whilst our brothers Temind of the world to come? ‘At@’ also said: ‘Check on your brothers if you do not see them for three days. If they are sick, visit them; if occupied, help them; and if they have forgotten, remind them: 15.2.3 The Right Relating to one’s Tongue (Keeping Quiet) This is achieved by keeping quiet sometimes and sometimes by speaking. As faras be. ing silentis concerned, one should be silent about the defects of one’s brother, whether in his presence or in his absence. One should not argue or quarrel with one’s brother, nor spy on him. If one’s brother is seen on the road or in need, one should not address him nor ask directly about his need, for this may weigh heavy on him, or, alternatively, he might be forced to lie. One should also not divulge the secrets that one’s brother confides to one, pass them on to others, or reveal them even after a breakdown of relations and estrange- ment, for this stems only from someone with a vicious temperament and wicked inward. One should also never speak ill about the wife, children or friends of ones brother; just as one should not repeat the bad things that others say about him. On the other hand, one should not keep quiet about any praise that one hears about one’s brother. This is because he will be happy with the person who communi- cated this praise to him, as well as with the person who praised him. Moreover, hiding such praise from one’s brother indicates nothing but resentful envy. In short, one should never mention to one’s brother anything that he dislikes unless one is compelled thus to speak, such as in instances of enjoining good and forbidding evil where keeping silent is not legally mitigated. In such instances, one should not care if one’s brother dislikes what he hears, for one is in reality being g004 to him even if, on the face of it, one is offending him. As for mentioning his shortcomings and defects, this amounts to backbiting am as such, is forbidden for all Muslims. What restrains you from backbiting are things. The first is that you should inspect your own state of affairs. If ‘you find there? one single blameworthy thing, then you should not make a big deal about what yo" see in your brother. You should rather make allowance for the fact that your brotlet is unable to conquer his soul about that single blameworthy trait, in the same W4Y Z you are unable to get rid of your own bad traits. You should not be annoyed with tach brother because ofa single blameworthy trait, for who is faultless? " The second thing you should know is that if you were to seek a faultless brot” - you would be compelled to withdraw from alll people and would not find oe whose company you could keep. There is not a single person except that hehas 8° A qualities and bad ones. Now, if the good qualities predominate over the bad ais that is all one can long for. The noble believer remembers the good qualities ©", brother so thathe feels affection and respect towards him, while the wicked bYPO™ does not notice anything except shortcomings and defects. Ibn al-Mubarak sai0*THE PROPRIETIES OF SOCIAL RELATIONS 193 ion is the most untruth- , Whereas Allah's Mes- 0 Not grope about, do be, O servants of God, brothers?” and keeps quiet about one’s shortcomings and defects. Allak’s Messenger, may Allahis blessings and peace be upon him, said: “Whosoever conceals his brother's deficiency, Allah will protect him on the Day of Judgement Dhiv1-Nan also said: “There is ro good in keeping the company of him who does not want to see you as anything but infallible; and the wicked person is whosoever divulges a secret in a moment of anger, for concealing a secret while one is happy isa requisite of all sound natures. Al-‘Abbas said once to his son, ‘Abd Allah: ‘I see that this man (ie. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab) gives you precedence over those who are much older than you, so let me advise you with five things: you should never divulge his secret, nor backbite anyone in his presence; he should never catch you lying, nor should you ever disobey his orders; and make sure that he will never find you disloyal’ Commenting on al-‘Abbas’s five pieces of advice, al-Sha‘bi said: ‘Each piece of these five is better than a thousand pieces of gold? 15.2.4 The Right also Relating to one’s Tongue (Speaking) This time by speaking. Just as brotherhood entails that one keeps quiet about that which one dislikes in one’s brother, so it does require that one speaks about that which one likes in him. In fact, this is more akin to brotherhood, for he who is content with silence should keep the company of the dead. Brothers are wanted in order to peer from them and not merely to get rid of their harm, whereas keeping eS ei _ ing but withholding harm. One should therefore be friendly to aos oe ne speech, and check what he needs in his time of need; saat ae Se befalls him, show one’s concern for him and anticipate his wae ei Fi ee should show, with words and actions, one’s dislike for eae Ae €r dislikes; just as one should show, with words, one’s pleasure Please one’s brother. f Brotherhood means sharing good and bad tm’. llessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘When oe a inform him that he does love him." This is becau love him will increase the love hetween him, he will inevitably love you, and so the rights of brotherhood that relate {0 sPe# Tame, in his presence as well asin his absence. ‘Allah's Messenger, may Allah’s you loves his brother, let him forming your brother pa i hatyou love For ifyour brotherknows th ie ae between you will grow ae nee + ris to call one’s brother by his i Se may Allah be well pleased withhim, said: ‘Three things help to make clear your brother's affection for you: Whe meet him you greet him first, you make room for him in assemblies ang you cant by his favourite name? ; ; bin ‘Among these rights also is that one should praise one’s brother for the £008 that one knows of him in front of those people in whose presence he likes 19 be tis This is amongst the greatest means that brings about love, but it should be Ftd without lying or exaggeration. Apart from this, it is fine 2 embellish that Which Ou be embellished. More than this is that one conveys to one’s brother the praise gp who praise him and show happiness for it, for to hide this praise amounts tg mate but resentful envy. thing Among these rights also is that you thank your brother for that which he you with. In fact, you should thank him for his mere intention, even if. what he ty. to do for you does not take place. Of greater influence in bringing about love all this is that you defend your brother in his absence whenever his honour jg fe geted, whether by open speech or intimation. The right of brotherhood entails the: you protect and defend him. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and Peace be upon him, said: “The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim: he does not wrong hin, let him down, nor forsake him.” To let one’s brother be slandered in one’s Presence s no more than letting him down. One’s failure to prevent the tearing up of the honow of one’s brother is similar to one's failure to prevent his flesh from being tom up. For this reason, Allah, exalted is He, likens this to eating the flesh of the dead: {.. woul any of you like to eat the flesh of his brother dead?}.** Mujahid said: ‘Do not mention your brother in his absence except with that which you would like him to mentionof you in your absence? Among these rights also is teaching and advice. Your brother's need for knowledge is no less than his need for wealth. Hence if you are rich with knowledge you should console him with your surplus, and guide him to everything that is beneficial to himin this world and in the world to come. When you find out that he does not act according to what he knows, you should advise him. However, your advice to him must be asecret that no one else should know about. Addressing him in public is nothing but rebuke and exposure, whereas that which is done in secret is tantamount to compassion and advice. Said Imam Shafi‘, may Allah have mercy on him: ‘Whosoever admonisheshis brother in seeret has advised and dignified him; and whosoever advises him in the open has exposed and disgraced him? 2 If you were to object and say: ‘But advice entails the mention of shorteominés and this causes the estrangement of the heart. How can this be among the rights brotherhood?’ ie [We would reply that] you should know that estrangement takes place wie tis shortcoming that you mention is already known to your brother. As for draw is attention to that which he does not know, this is the very essence of compass 5 itis nothing more than winning hearts, by which I mean the hearts of the ate tat He who warns you about a blameworthy act that you have committed, in © "i . you cleanse yourself, is like someone who warns you about asnake or ascorpion”’ 1, is about to kill you. Indeed, you are a fool if. you were to hate that. Blamewo zs per are scorpions and snakes and, on the Day of Judgement, they will be cause vid dition. This is the reason why ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be well pleas erst him, used to seek this from his brothers and say: ‘May Allah’s merey be 0D p yous who offers to his brother his defects’ As for your brother's neglect towardsyo™ required to forbear, pardon, forgive and turn a blind eye to it.a rophet, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, i 19. 45.2.5 The Right Relating to p lo The slip ofa friend can either relay by neglecting the tights of brotherhood, and persisting in so doing, you should be he gains strength, collects himself and ee ning Slips prother changes, you should hate hi : him for? He saw this as a Ncanegee ier etic ast hich ever, Abi l-Darda’ and a group of Prophetic Abi'l-Darda’ said: ‘Do not leave your broth away from what he used to be, for your brother is sometimes straight and ti crooked. All this relates to your brother's slip vis-i-vis his religion. Nonete fee is no difference of opinion that it is more befitting that you pardon and forbear ee your friend's slip relates to you. In fact, this is obligatory towards the brothers in con- nection with anything that can be interpreted positively and which can admit an ex- cuse, whether it be a genuine or a flimsy excuse. You should accept your brother's apology when he is sincere in his apology, and when he is not. Allah, exalted is He says: {who ... restrain their rage. . .}; He, exalted is He, does not say ‘those who lack tage’ because the norm is not that one is wounded and not get hurt, but the norm is rather to be wounded and endure and forbear the wound. ‘ou loved for Allah and hating for His es How Companions adopted a different Opinion er simply because he changed and turnec 15.2.6 The Right Relating to Praying for one’s Brother This entails that you pray for your brother during his lifetime, and after his death, to grant him all that which he likes for himself, his family and those related to him. You should pray for him as you pray for yourself, and should not differentiate hetyeca hum and your own self; for you, prayer for him is certainlya prayer for yourself. sud Al - Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him: ‘When a man prays for hi in hi: : to you?’ And in another saying, the brother in his absence, the angel says: “The same to y ee ton for hi in his absence is answered.° ‘ eos : P pi art al-Asfahani used to say: ‘Is there vee ee es brother? Your family divide your inheritance amongst emats aude io yuna ion have left behind, whereas he alone is sad for your denasare ease you have done in this world and what you hhave come to in “7 i in the und. you in the darkness of the night while you are puried in the gro alty and Sincerity ; ae he dies, and after his death for theafterlife, sndeav- be 15.2.7 The Right Relating to bee a Loyalty means constancy in ones love fo i % his children and constancy in one’s love for hii a snl ee death one’s wo and when it is interrupted before de es s cae Ql rt lated that Allah’s ‘Messeng nay with extreme kindness. Wh ur wasted. It is rel: hom he went tO dn upon him, treated an old woman. the brother until ; i Loveis only mean' e poe will be thwarted and ones ¢}196 Be ee he was asked about this, he said: ‘She used to come to us when Khadija was aliy, kindness to acquaintances is part of the religion.”” ; . aad Thusit is part of loyalty to one’s brother to be deferential to all his friends, Telatj and those attached to him. Deference towards them has a bigger impact on the j, of the friend than deference towards him. Lasting affection is that which is for Alla sake, whereas that which is for an ulterior motive ceases with the cessation of > motive. And one of the fruits of love in Allah is that it is not accompanied with resent ful envy either regarding matters of this world, or the next, How can anyone resent, fully envy his brother when the benefit of everything that his brother has comes to him? It is with this that Allah, exalted is He, described those who love one an, for His sake. He, exalted is He, says: {... not. finding in their breast any need for whay they have been given}, and the existence of need is resentful envy. Part of loyalty also is that one remains always humble with one’s brother when one becomes important and one’s authority widens and one’s status becomes great. Haughtiness towards the brothers due to a change of fortune is nothing but vileness. Know also that agreeing with your brother in that which disagrees with the truth regarding a matter of the religion is not an act of loyalty. Rather, loyalty to him in this case would be opposing him, for perfect loyalty in love is counsel for Allah's sake. Among the signs of sincerity and perfect loyalty are that you are afraid of separat- ing, because one’s nature dislikes the things that lead to it. One of the signs of loyalty also is that one does not listen to what people report about one's friend, nor befriend his enemy. 15.2.8 The Right Relating to Leaving Affectation and Encumbrance This is done by not burdening one’s brother with that which is heavy for him. One should rather keep to oneself one’s needs and requirements. One should not make use of the standing and wealth of one’s brother, nor impose that he be humble with one, nor make him inspect one’ state of affairs or fulfil one’s rights. One should in- tend by his love nothing but Allah, exalted is He, seeking the blessing of his stp plication, finding intimacy in his encounter and help in practising one’s religio®, and drawing close to Allah, exalted is He, through fulfilling his rights and meeting his needs. Total ease with one’s friend lies in abandoning affectation until one does not feel shy with one’s brother in the things that one is not shy about in oneself. Al-Fuday said: ‘People have stopped visiting one another due to affectation: one would visit his brother but the latter would put on airs for him, and this would make the former S¥°P visiting him: Ja‘far ibn Muhammad al-Sadig, may Allah’s mercy be on father and ep used to say: ‘The most burdensome of the brothers for me is he who puts on airs me and makes me avoid him; and the lightest of them on my heart is he who, when am with, it is like I am alone? Ease with one’s brothers and leaving affectation are not achieved unless one 5% oneself less worthy than one’s brothers, and unless one has a good opinion al them while having a low opinion about oneself, One is better than one’s brothers when one sees one’s brothers better than one. As long as one sees any merit in nr over one’s brother, one is contemptuous towards him, which is blameworthy aerelation to the generality of ace be upon him, saudi : iy tower i pee lessen, towards his Muslim brothen2g" PetSon Commits enouse” This sums up the rights of com tionshj times, and sometimes in detail, eee ae attaching all your limbs to the rights he ve Will alftegnt ome , dn of Not be by looking at them in an affectionate we eto Th ae a @ ing at their se exe and turning a bling Gene RET can appreciate of your ears is by istening to the Speech ent be attachment of Yo b ’ 4 of «1 2€ attachment ing it and showing delight in hearing it, ag ota hes meting and bei. by refutation or objection. The attachment of the ton mot ‘Plerrupting their speech to them, or addressing them except with what they can und toad, Sot ce ment of the hands js by not Tefraining from helping them mete aoe be used for. The attachment of the legs is walking behind them like a fol and not like a leader, ‘You should not Put yourself ahead of them aoe 5 ace = a put you ahead, nor draw near them except to the extent they draw you 15.2.9 Conclusion We shall mention in this conclusion a number of Proprieties relating to intercourse with, and keeping the company of, different kinds of people—all derived from the sayings of some wise men, i : 3 If you want good association with people, then meet both ent ad ecu em contentment. You should do this without humiliation or a wy ee ee haughtiness and with humility but without seme D w pe Reed oe ea a ae SiaibeatiGnt ring, cleaning your teeth with entangling your fingers, playing mm io Ir nose, exeessive spitting and expectorating, a toothpick, putting veut pe moving past over people's heads and yawning Temoving flies from your face, é a ayer: i 3 hether in the prayer or outside the pray ublications or anything bee f atisfaction about your eee ourself like women, Do not speak of your s way in embellishing y ar 2 out of your i one, keep your that is proper to you. een ne ou have an argument with sointing a fingers, and nor be as trite as a slave. ates avoid hastiness, oe ek only wen your anger ur ignor: > ively. do make postr beware oo ae are behind you SLs ie your worst enemy, oe eee) do not look at thos the friend of ease for 1 enter on an assembly, Dae a has subsided. Beware 0 r honour. And when yo that you avoid coe ae ae your wealth nobler than ae the greeting of Pee wherever there bee dit dictates that you begin Rie ady present, See ee is Bere ane Sona of heads of those who are “4 that you gree! ifyouden hea he Pe hele ‘ ility, an le; but if y ttle attention toth ee eee a eiomeonly ou pee onversati pay Tait of jesting with keep the company of the « aging in thelr Cryo uld also he sensible perso” sees is to avoid engast age. YOM Sa pecause the s Jesting Sitting with them is toa’ ir bad langu: This is because with you. disquieting talk and ignore the ible perso”. rine he is a s¢ anyone, whether or ae you while elf-respect- will hold rancour ag ves one’s S Vitiates reverence and remo’198 BOOK 15 15.8 The Rights of a Muslim, Kin and Neighbour 7 is either alone or with other people. And if it is not possible fo, Beet iy ne with his fellow men, then he must learn the Proprietios op interacting with them. There is propriety in the interaction of any person Who i teracts, and this propriety is commensurate with his right Just as his right is cm mensurate with the bond by means of which this interaction takes place. This bon can either be a relation of kinship (which is more specific), a brotherhood Of Islam (which is more general), or being neighbours, or it can be abond resulting from com, panionship in travel, school, or studying together as it can be a bond of. friendship - therhood. ae we would like to mention the right of brotherhood in Islam, the Tight of Kinship, the right of parents and the right of neighbours. 15.3.1 The Rights ofa Muslim Among these rights is that you greet him when you meet him; answer him when he calls you; say “May Allah have mercy on you’ when he sneezes; visit him when heis sick; escort his funeral procession when he dies; adjure his oath when he Swears on you to do something; advise him when he asks your advice; protect his good name when he is absent from you; love for him what you love for yourself and hate for him what you hate for yourself. All these things have been recommended in Prophetic traditions. Ofthese rights also is that one loves for the believers what one loves for oneself: ‘and hates for them what one hates for oneself. Al-Nu‘man ibn Bashir said: ‘T heard Allah's Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, say: “The example of the believers in their love and compassion for one another is like one single body: when any member of it suffers illness, the whole of it suffers fever and sleeplessness.” He, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘A believer is for the believer like one edifice, each part holds the rest together." Among these rights also is that one does not hurt any Muslim whether by action or words. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘The Muslim is he whom the Muslims are safe from his tongue and hands.? The Prophet, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘1 sawa man enjoying the com fort of paradise, and all he did was cut down a tree from the middle of the road when he saw that it bothered the Muslims. jtmong these rights also is that one should show humility towards every single Muslim and notbe haughty towards them, for Allah does not love any arrogant, proud person. Allah's Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Alla exalted is He, has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one displays Pride towards anyone else’3+ Of these rights also is that one should not pay ; eople report about one another, nor pass on what some ee ee ane "alah Messente Tay Allahis blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘The talebearer shall never emte? peace AL-Khahl ibn Ahmad al-Farahidi also said: -Whosceres brinee YOU others say about you, will also take to others what you say about them; and whosoever PferesYou about the affairs of others, wil also inform others about jour affos!- to enter, one should leave, Allah’s Mes, s 5 3 — - “ATIONS Allah’s blessings and pea, his brother for more te ce be upon him, ce 199 is n three days qo“ Ttis not | who greets his brother first isthe i ae Meet but ee fora Muslim to 4 est of Id ©; ‘0 desert with her, said: ‘Allah Messenger, the two.28 ‘Alisha, i © another—and the ¢ ne took revenge because of a * may Allah's blessi ay Allah b Jated he avenged Allah.37 personal matter, but Ste All ‘i Gee thon hime Of these rights also is th Hats sacrosanctness pot ve io- Se acOee a at one should not distinguishing between family and ae 8eherous to everyone 2 Among these rights also is anes ers, Smuch as one can, mission. In fact, one should cule 'e does not enter Permissj + ef ON anyon fae pa said ae pecrnisaon is done fines dee ay Allai’s blessings and ewes ng these rights also is th: eS... 7.88 pon towards the young; perfect reopen one SHOWS respect to th except with Teenage ee foe the elderly is not ee po eraeaeon % . ts il ir pre may Allah’s blessings and peace be ee children was the custom of the ee ‘im. i welcomed the Prophet, may Allah's fee ee returning from travel, the children stop for them and carry some of them in fre Peace be upon him, and he used to his Companions to do the same.° Some ate and behind his back, ordering some of ‘Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’ teins i e ese kids would later boast to each other: him, while he carried you onhisback’ nn Po" inweamied mein fontof Amon; i i ‘ Allzh ibn ee that one be gentle and cheerful with everyone. ‘Abd batt speech: + Goodness is easy: it is nothing more than a cheerful face and Of these rights also is that one does not promise something and then fail to deliver. Allah's Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘The hypocrite Ee ae signs: he lies when he speaks; he does not keep his promise; and he betrays st. Among these rights also is that one should be fair with others, not behaving towards them except in the way one would like them to behave towards oneself. Of these rights also is that one shows more respect towards someone whose demeanour or clothing points to his high rank. One should treat people according to kind to anyone who has an old right towards one. ' their status," just as one should be oe) smother of Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and ad his outer garment [on the ground] for his outer garment and said to her: ‘Ask .’, and that was during the Battle of It is reported that the milk- peace be upon him, came to him, so he spre: her saying: ‘Welcome, mother’ He sat her on for intercession and you shall be interceded for. - Hunayn.? M Among these nee lessenger, may Allah’s there re EO MTT: ae 2 ed discord is the eraser «-- « the reply. He said: ‘Reconciling those discord; ti ee fhese right is that one conceals the defects oe Ce eae e SS] . Satin Ala eae Bete Its of another servant to come’ And he also said: ‘No ae ee except that Allah shall conceal his ee a A Muslim should also concea fe oe bent on him, just as the right 0! i . Allah iles Muslims whenever one can. a oe sto him, said: ‘Shall 1 inform you fasting and charity?” ‘Yes!’ came also is that 01 blessings and peace “ - cht of his Islam is incu defect, £01 to ay Alla be well of others 18-200 BooK 15 £1 were to find a drunk I wish that Allah would conceal hin oe ae pleased with him, said I wish that Allah would conceal him fro, from others, and if I were to find a thief thers, too! ot cal of the greatest proofs that the Sacred Law demands the concealment of; inde. ies is that fornication, which is the worst of all indecencies, Tequires the testimon Gert persons. Ponder, therefore, on the wisdom of being strict regarding the door of indecencies by imposing stoning, which is the most severe of all punishments, and then ponder on Allah’s abundant concealment: how He bestowedit on thesinney, amongst His creation by limiting the ways of revealing these indecencies. Allah's Mes. senger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘O you who have believeg with their tongues but whom faith has not entered their hearts! Do not backbite the Muslims or follow their faults, for whosoever follows the faults of his fellow Muslim, ‘Allah will follow his faults. And when Allah follows anyone's faults, He will exposehim even ifhe is in the interior of his house." A man said to ‘Abd Allah ibn ‘Umar: ‘Did you hear Allah's Messenger, may Allahs blessings and peace be upon him, say anything about secret conversation on the Day of Judgement?’ He said, ‘I heard him say: On the Day of Judgement, Allah shall draw the believer close to Him and then shelter him and conceal him from people. Allah would then say: “Do you remember such-and-such a sin? Do you remember such-and-such a sin?” He would answer: “Yes! O Lord, I remember.’ When the believer admits all his sins and sees that he is destined for damnation, Allah would say to him: “O My slave! I have not concealed these sins of yours in the world except that I wished to forgive you today. And then Allah will give him the register of his good deeds. The unbelievers and hypocrites will be called upon in front of everybody: these are those who did not believe in Allah’*” Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘Every sin- gle person of my Community shall be spared except the broadcasters; and one form of disclosure is for the man to commit evil in secret and then inform others of his doing** In another saying, Allah's Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Whosoever listens to the speech of people when they do not wish to be over heard, lead will be poured in his ears on the Day of. Judgement.” Of these rights also is that one avoids the avenues of suspicion in order to pre vent the hearts of people from forming bad opinions and their tongues from backbit ing. This is because if they were to disobey Allah by mentioning one, and one is the cause of this, then one would be a partner in the disobedience. Allah, exalted is He says: {Abuse not those to whom they pray, apart from God, or they will abuse God revenge without Inowledge}.* Said Allah's Messenger, may Allah's blessings and pea? be upon him: ‘It is one of the greatest enormities that a man should curse his paren’ Some said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! How can any man curse his parents’ He said: ee curses someone's father and the latter would curse his father in return; and he curse someone's mother, and he curses his mother in return’ It is also reported that bo men from the Medinan Helpers walked past Allats Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, but when they sa¥ Cwith a woman] they hastened their steps, Allah's Messenger, may Allah blessiné® and peace be upon him, called to them and said: ‘Not so fast, this is Safiyya!” Theys4" Glory be to Allah, O Messenger of Allah [how can you think that we suspect YU ™201 cast something in your hearts?s: blessings and peace be upon hi Allah be well pleased w; a ot EE spicion eal anc oe man +A person who Puts himself in ; Of these rights also is that one inte ne 2 #4 Opinion sbouthim? with those who haye Position, and endeavour you are Present; do, therefore, intercede the hands of His Prophet what- D im with th i efore one begins to talk with them. Allah, aaa eted with a Sreeting greet with a fairer than it, or return Anas, may Allah be well pleased with him, used to greet children upon passing by them, and say that Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, used to do it.** Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘When one of you comes upon an assembly let him give the greeting of peace. If he then decides to sit down, let him sit down. When he Sets up to leave he should give the greeting of peace, for the first greeting is not more appropriate than the last? Bending over upon greeting is not allowed, and holding the stirrup of the men of Imowledge as a sign of respect is corroborated by some traditions. Ibn ‘Abbas did this with the stirrup of Zayd ibn Thabit’s mount, may Allah be well pleased with both. Standing up to greet someone is offensive if it is done out of glorification, oth- erwise it is fine if it is done out of respect. Anas said: “There was not a single person who was more beloved to us than Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, but the Prophetic Companions did not stand up on seeing him, because isliked it ee Be is that one protects the honour, life and wealth of one’s brother = ’s ability. against the wrongs of others to the best ot ae oa Brera tepesonyho Of these rights also is saying “May Allah hesipan him, said about sneezes. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings ae ne ae Seen Shas the person who sneezes: ‘He should say: at e eas who sneezed should reply: nr « rou; * < zim eaveuMay ae Be saat a Ttis also related that Al ees ca A ae merey on you" thrice to Sa ee and peace be upon Ped fourth time, Allah’s Messenger, eY an ‘Abii Hurayra: ‘The Prophet, may "him, said to him: ‘You have caught a cold. ee Tower his voice or cover his mouth Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, use 5 or 761 7 who intends one with his hands upon Se that when one is ined ee He, says: {Repel Among these rights al and avoid him. Allah, e verse {....and who avert harm, one should show oe en Coramenting on tb | thou the evil with that whic!202 BOOK 15 evil with good},® Ibn ‘Abbas said: ‘It means: who avert indecency and harm by me a of greeting and pleasing those who commit them: ; a ‘Risha, may Allah be well pleased with her, said: ‘A man asked permission to entoy on Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, so he said: “[ot him come in for he is one evil person.” But when the man entered, the Prophet, May ‘Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, spoke nicely to him. When the man left [ said to him: “Before this man entered you said what you said, and then you spoke nicely to him” The Prophet, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said: “The worst person in the sight of ‘Allah, on the Day of. Judgement, is he who is deserted by People in order that they avoid his indecency.”** Abi’1-Darda’, may Allah be well pleased with him, also said: ‘We display cheerfulness towards some people while our hearts curse them’; this is the meaning of pleasing them, and it is used with those whom one fears, Muhammad ibn al-Hanafiyya, may Allah be well pleased with him, said: ‘He is not wise he who does not associate amiably with the person whom he cannot avoid unti Allah relieves him of him? Ofthese rights also is that one mixes with theneedy andis kind to orphans. Allah's Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘I and the one who takes charge of the orphan are like this; and he pointed with his two fingers together ‘And Miisa, may Allah’s peace be upon him, said: ‘O God! Where shall I seek You?’ He said: ‘Seek Me where the broken-hearted are. Among these rights also is to give counsel to all Muslims, and exert oneself to bring happiness to the heart of each and every Muslim. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘One of you shall not believe until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. Of these rights also is that one visits those who are sick. Knowledge and Islam are sufficient to affirm this right and the merit it entails. The proprieties that the person who visits the sick should observe are: not to stay too long, not to ask too many ques- tions, to show sympathy and make supplication for the sick for a speedy recovery- ‘The sick person, on the other hand, should observe the following: he should have good forbearance, make little complaint or show of discontent, make supplication, and after using medicine have reliance on the Creator of medicine. Among these rights also is that one escorts the funeral processions of Muslims. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Whosoev escorts a funeral procession has a measure of merit; ifhe stands until the burial is fin- ished he has two measures of merit; and each measure is like the mountain of Uhud™ When Tbn ‘Umar heard this narration from Abii Hurayra, he commented: We ha® neglected many measures’ Upon seeing a funeral procession Makhiil the Damascen® used to say: ‘Let us escort it, for we too are going to depart: this is an eloquent PS nition and fleeting obliviousness; the first departs from this world and the last has 00 enduring remembrance? De The person presenting his condolences should observe the following propre he should be responsive to the bereaved, show sadness, speak little, and abstain smiling or laughing. The proprieties of escorting the funeral procession are a8 fol showing serenity, abstention from talking, looking at the dead person, meditating death and preparing oneself for it. a Of these rights also is that one visit the graves of brothers and friends. Wot meant by visiting their graves is supplication for them, gaining admonition a™! bios softening we heart. Allah's Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be up0? oe said: ‘I have never witnessed any scene more forbidding than the grave-® ebOS MAM LONG: ‘Umar, may Allah be well pl, eee a Pleas ith hi, beard got wet with tears and then the Fern sally nt oT eaten » What comes after it is enci wot Way Stati what comes after is more severe” ie i cnt used to sit at the graves and whi ‘Lam keeping the company of Pp them they do not backbite me? le : ) uune: 0 , for this world is too insigni: in b's eyes, and all that 1s 1n It is also insignificant, Do not pecires Perea 10) People possess, for then you would diminish in ‘their eyes and will be deprived of their worldly possessions, and you would further be you admonish, do it without being personal and do not specify any person by name. Beware of keeping the company of those who do not pardon your stumbling, for ive your slips, or conceal your faults; also those who take you to task over Saree things, or resentfully envy you likewise. : 15.3.2 The Rights of Neighbourhood Know that neighbourhood has rights besides the rights of the brotherhood of Islam. A Muslim neighbour deserves that which every Muslim deserves, and more. Allah's Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Jibra’il bid me so much _to make the neighbour my concern that I thought that he will make him of those who deserve one’s inheritance.” And he also said: ‘Whosoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgement, let him be kind to his neighbour-” In another narration, Allah's Mes- Senger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, gas ‘A servant shall not have [complete] faith until his neighbour is safe from his harm.” Elbe i. A man complained to Ibn Mas‘td, may Allah be well pleased with him, that his “neighbour harmed, insulted and pestered him. i Mas te sud Aor mind! Ifhe is i i i , do obey Allah in relation to him. : Risobeying Allah with regard to you, do 0ey tot consist solely of keeping away Know also that the right of neighbow Siete Tere one’ personal harm, but also consists of enduring oe hare we ee ees enduring their harm is not sufficient, for one should honow: 00d and beneficence. a ee 4 The rights of the neighbour can be summarised #2 ore a page to greet one’s neighbour; one should not arene Seven he is sick, and offer him enquire about his state of affairs; one should visit he eaer ne should congratulate one’s condolences and support when a calamity bel mptild pardon his missteps and “him and show pleasure at his happy occasions; OM" AT aces to his house: and “hot prey on his shortcomings; one should not SPY OP TTY py rral-Ghifar may shouta esa that which is apparent of his ORS should be the first ‘ivelyAllah be well pleased with him, said: ‘My beloved, may Allah’s blessings and peaoe ; upon him, advised me saying: “When you cook something in a pot, increase the Wa then find a family amongst your neighbours and pour for them some of it?s the Hurayra reported Allah's Messenger, may Allahs blessings and peace be upon him, saying: ‘O Muslim women! Let a neighbour not be contemptuous to her neighb, on even if she gifts her very little.” 15.3.3 The Rights of Relatives and Kinsfolk Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Allah, exal is He, says: “I am the All-merciful (al-Rakman), and this is kinship (rahim); have derived for it a name from My Name. Whosoever keeps its tie I will keep his tie With Me, and whosoever severs it, I will cut him off.” The Prophet, may Allah’s Dlessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘Whosoever likes his appointed time to be put off and his sustenance to increase, he should keep the tie of kinship unbroken’7 And in another narration he, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, said: ‘The person who keeps the tie of kinship is not he who rewards his kinsfolk; it is rather he who keeps this tie unbroken when his kinsfolk cut him off” When Abii Talha wanted to give to charity one of his favourite fields, in conformity with the saying of Allah, exalted is He: {You will not attain piety until you expend of what you love},’* he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Do with itas Allah shows you: Allak’s Messenger, may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said to him: ‘Well done! This is a profitable possession, and I think that you should give it to your relatives.*° | 15.3.4 The Rights of Parents and Children " It is quite clear that if the right of relatives and Kinship is well affirmed, then the clos- est of one’s kinsfolk are those to whom one is related either as a child, or as a parent. The right of the latter is many times attested to. Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's bless- ings and peace be upon him, said: ‘Be dutiful to your father and mother, sister and rother, and then to those who come next and after them to those who come next" | Malik ibn Rabi‘a said: ‘While we were with Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's bless- and peace be upon him, a man came and asked him: “O Messenger of Allah! My rents are dead now, is there anything still left for me to show my dutifulness t0 them?” He said: “Yes! By praying for them, asking forgiveness for them, fulfilling their Promises, honouring their friends and also by keeping unbroken the ties of kinship which cannot be kept except through them”*? Allah’s Messenger, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, also said: ‘One of the best forms of dutifulness is to keep contact with those whom one’s father loved, after he dies.*° It is also praiseworthy to be gentle with one’s children, Al-Aqra‘ ibn Habis saw ihe Frophet, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, kissing his grandson Hasan? he said: ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them’ Allah's Messenge may Allah's blessings and peace be upon him, said to him: ‘He who does not $0 mercy will not be shown mercy:# é ‘Abd Allah ibn Shaddad also said: ‘While Allah’s Messenger, may Allah's blessit® and peace be upon him, was leading people in prayer, Husayn came and clim| ne his neck while he was in prostration. So he prolonged his prostration until Pee: thought that something had happened. When he finished the prayer, they said to ByTHE PROPRIETIES OF SOCIAL RELATIONS 205 «0 Messenger of Allah! You prolonged your prostration until we thought that some- - .¢ had happened.” He responded: My grandson climbed on my back and I disliked thing him off before he had played enough ”*5 eee d know that most men of knowledge are of the o pinion that obeying one’s par- ts is obligatory with regard to doubtful matters, but not so in relation to absolutely en’ unlawful matters.