Krystyna Kaminski

Log Week 8
Activity:
Molly Anderson, an English teacher, and I are working on creating a closet with essentials for
students in need. We are still in the brainstorming part of the process. Once we did some
research and laid out some possibilities and questions, we decided to meet with the principal, Dr.
Johnson to share our ideas and what he would/wouldn’t want. Tammi came to the meeting with
us. We had it scheduled through his secretary and for some reason he was late because he was
pulled out of another meeting. He made a big deal out of being pulled from the meeting, which
seemed unnecessary.
Molly started with explaining possible spaces, what might be in it, and what other schools have
done. It seemed as soon as she did begin, he came in very aggressive and intimidating. His tone
was trying to show that he is above us. He stated over and over that he wanted to focus on
function and sustainability, which is what I had ideas for, but his tone was saying he didn’t want
to hear it. Molly mentioned my ideas of having certain staff run it during certain times, having it
open during support time, and the other options I suggested. He shut it down without really
listening to us. Tammi began to explain how the ALC does it or options, he listened more to her
(they have a different type of relationship that is hard to explain). It felt invalidating to Molly and
me. I did explain to him how Loras has the gender closet tucked away and the food/hygiene
closet elsewhere in a more open space. The entire conversation was like walking on eggshells
with Molly consistently having to defend herself and why she feels the closet is needed.
He mentioned the 2 things he wants to avoid. One, he doesn’t want there to be an assumption of
which individuals need the closet. He was not clear with this point. Two, he didn’t want it to be
like free handouts or being a social welfare institution rather than educational. He struggled to
explain what he meant until he decided to use an analogy that he wants us to not give them the
fish but have them learn how to fish. I understand that this point was something he wanted to
avoid, but the more he talked, the more it sounded like he felt that it was going to be like that no
matter what, as if he didn’t believe the closet was something needed. I know where he was
coming from, but he continued to invalidate the reasoning for needing the closet. I have seen the
need for it often, Molly explained that to him, so it frustrated me that much more that he wasn’t
listening in bringing that up throughout the meeting
It felt like going in circles with Dr. Johnson. He and Molly do not have a good relationship
because he is consistently mean to her and invalidates her. She had told Tammi and I this was
why she had to quit being advisor of student council; it was like he would bully her. We went to
go look at the space he thought would be a good fit. Within the advisory classroom that is not
commonly used, there was a decent-sized closet space with pantry-like doors and shelving. We
decided it was the perfect fit. I’m not sure how the conversation skyrocketed in tension after that,
but it did, and I felt very uncomfortable. Molly was trying to validate herself in wanting this
closet because she sees the need; it felt like a social worker defending why there needs to be
social work or social services in the world. It was frustrating to listen to because she should not
have to defend herself on that. In her defending herself, she brought up that she recognizes that
she is just a white girl that grew up in Dubuque and is trying to come from a place of
understanding and empathy for students how need these essentials; this was her stating she
recognizes her privilege in not coming from a background of poverty. As predicted, Dr. Johnson
took the race route in only pointing out her mentioning she is white. He kept pushing her buttons
in trying to get her say that only the black kids would utilize the closet, which is not what she
meant at all, she was referring to privilege in general. He does this often, as I have discussed
with Tammi, in that he can’t see past bringing race into a conversation when it is not necessary.
The conversation between the two escalated very quickly because he kept provoking her and she
kept trying to defend herself. It turned into a conversation about what happened the last time she
went to him for help with a student. Some background information on that: a few weeks ago, a
black student was struggling in her class with behaviors, and he specifically mentioned that he
had talked with Dr. Johnson (indicating he is the student’s safe person). When Molly went to him
asking how to help the student, even after telling him the student indicated Dr. Johnson as his
safe person, he took it as a race thing. He saw it as her coming to the only black authority figure
in the school for help with a black student. Although she had made it clear to him that was far
from the reason, he was very aggressive with his tone with her. She told Tammi and I that she
went home reviewing everything she said and was crying because she felt invalidated again by
him.
She should have talked to him about that conversation before our meeting about the closet, but it
was brought up while we were in that empty classroom. The tension was high, Molly started to
cry, and I wasn’t sure what to do. Tammi walked out to take a call, and Molly told me it was ok
for me to leave, so I did. They were in the classroom for a very long time, even after we had left
to visit the ALC. Tammi told me it was probably a discussion that was 1 or 2 years overdue. I
emailed Molly to check in on her, and she responded saying that although it was a long talk, it
was much needed and the two of them left feeling heard.
Prior to Molly response to my email, I debriefed with Tammi about the meeting and how I felt.
She agreed with a lot of what I said and Molly’s feelings.
Thoughts/interpretations:
In my opinion, Dr. Johnson seems to be burnt out and needs a break from being not only at
Senior, but also living in Dubuque. He has been struggling to connect with people, has been
more aggressive than normal, and seems to be struggling with other people’s perception of him
as a black male in charge of a school. There was another instance a few weeks ago where, during
a support group, he invalidated the feelings of some black female students and didn’t handle the
situation appropriately. I think the conversation with Molly should have happened before the
meeting, and I think he also needs to work on his tone when talking with his staff. Although he
tries not to show the image of “angry black man”, he is still very aggressive and condescending
in how he treats his staff. He feels a connection to Tammi and often comes to talk to her, almost
as if it’s a therapy session for him. I see that as crossing boundaries, and as Tammi has told me,
if he keeps up his behavior and how he has been running things, I wouldn’t be surprised if
Tammi ends up leaving at the end of the year. He doesn’t address the issues with his AP’s on
being strict but also trauma-informed, he has a disconnect with the rest of the staff, and does not
approach things appropriately, such as his aggressiveness towards Molly about the closet when
she was just explaining the ideas. He is not approachable, which is an issue being that he is in
administration and is the principal.
Feelings:
I’m going to be blunt, but Dr. Johnson really upset me to where I am not only disappointed but
also feeling a bit pissed off. He was a school counselor, an AP, and now a principal at Senior.
The way he talked about the fish analogy and how he didn’t want to be just handing things out,
in addition to his tone, was incredibly rude and invalidating to the social work practice. It made
me think he was definitely not listening and did not understand that there are students in need. It
disappoints me because if he has school counselor experience, then he should be more open to
the idea of even having the closet and wanting to help students in need. He doesn’t understand
that there are homeless students and students with families in poverty. Tammi had said to him
that if a student says they need something, such as a bus card, then they actually need it. being
that there would be essentials in there and in a private space, they aren’t going to try to just get
free stuff. nothing being said was getting to him. I was terrified to say anything because I don’t
want to lose my internship, but I also felt my work as a social worker student was being
disrespected and made invalidated. When I discussed this with Tammi, she agreed that the whole
fish analogy and worrying about free handouts was disappointing and frustrating.
Integration:
Tammi has said many times that being here is learning a lot about systems. I told her it reminded
me of what we learned in P3, and specifically the one chapter in our text that keeps coming back
to me. It was the chapter about learning institutions/systems and what to do when your work is
not being seen or you aren’t being heard. I’m stuck in that struggle the book talked about with
those situations. I am terrified to approach a superior and don’t want to lose my internship
because of it. Tammi told me not to worry too much about losing my placement, but it’s
bothering me a lot knowing I can lose my placement if I tried to reason with him and make him
not like me.
Questions:
Should I bring it up to Dr. Johnson, with Tammi’s permission, how I felt the discussion went,
specifically what he said about the closet being a handout and invalidating social welfare? Or
should I disregard it/look at it as being in the past and just move forward with solidifying ideas
for the closet?