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DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to God almighty and to every young girl out there
who is going through any form of challenge, I want you to know that
God loves you and is still calling you.

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 ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I want to thank God almighty for his Presence, love and strength
during the period of this book.

My special appreciation goes to my parents for bringing me up in the

way of the lord and for their prayers and support. To my siblings,
Hosanna, Imabasi, and Isaac you are the best, for your prayers,
support, everyday calls, motivations, and publicity I want to say a big
thank you, and to let you know that you mean a lot to me.

My heart felt gratitude goes to Fednard, you have been a shoulder to

lean on, during the many times I wanted to give up, your support and
encouragement kept me going, you were with me through every step
of the book, I would call you the co-author. Thank you so much for
believing in me.

Special thanks go to my friends Daniel Akpan (you are amazing,

thank you for your advice and concern for this work), Blessing
Monday (your many jokes kept me laughing, and knowing you
believe in me, makes me want to do more), Mariam Yusuf (my ready
inspiration, thanks for always believing in me), Micah Effiong,
Elizabeth James, Goodluck Uzioma, Esther Utibe, Ifunaya, Charity
Benjamin, Martha, and others. My Facebook friends that kept the
dream alive I say a big thank you. Maurice Photography, I can’t
appreciate you enough for your wonderful pictures and love towards
this project, may God bless you.

Appreciation to my father and mother in the Lord, Pastor Segun

Oduyebo and Dr. Adeola Oduyebo for their support and genuine
concern towards my spiritual growth which gave rise to this book.

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 Thank you to my ever loving Oyediran Oluwadamilola Ayodeji (my
manager that would always shout on me to achieve a specific task),
Barrister Hansen and Mrs. Jubee, for their support and believe in me.
May God bless you big.

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INTRODUCING SCAR

Scar is an online platform that is genuinely concerned about the pains and
experience of people all around the world. It is true that experience is the
best teacher, but learning from experience is better than having an
experience. There are hidden pains people go through in life, some from
rejection, abuse, marital difficulties, custom and traditions, peer group
pressure, racism, inferiority complex e.tc. A lot of damage has been
brought to a lot of people that they might never forget for the rest of their
lives, and with a society filled with casting blames, and insincerity a lot of
these people have hidden under their shadows and leaving with a scar.

Scar is here to lift such burdens, to bring comfort to hearts and to ease the
pain. It is true the scar from the hurt cannot be erased but it is also not true
that you have to remain in condemnation and self-denial. This is what Scar
as a platform has come to do, to ease your pain, make you bold enough to
share your experience and to build you up to realize that you are a
hero/heroine for still standing.

Experiences would be shared on Scars and lessons will be learnt, and

hopefully the world will become a better place for everyone. Join the
platform today on Facebook and on Instagram, and let the healing begin.

God bless you all.

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 TABLE OF CONTENT

Foreword 01

Introduction 02 - 03

Part One 04 - 09

Part Two 10 - 15

Part Three 16 - 26

Part Four 27 - 34

Conclusion 35 - 37

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FOREWORD
The diary of the other woman is a book highlighting from different stories,
some of the challenges of abuse and poor parenting young women face that
predispose them to become sexually immoral.
The author described how the love of God can shine through such people
and win the lost if they put their lives in God's hand.
I have known Miss Favour for a few years now and I see her as a young
diligent lady who is passionate about God and whatever she is involved in.

This book is a good piece for people of all age groups especially the youths
and I recommend it to you

-Dr Adeola Oduyebo

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01
 INTRODUCTION
Diary of the other woman is a deep emotional truth that many people
over the years try to overlook. There has been too many judgments on
ladies that are involved in immoral act with other women husband. In
as much as these actions are wrong and should be shunned, we as
Christians are not only to show love when it suits us. Most of these
ladies do not want to be involved in acts like this but circumstances
drew them into this part. Of a truth our decision to do the right thing
shouldn't only be strong when we are in the right position, but not
everyone out there has the Holy Spirit to guide or instruct. Our role as
Christian wives is not only to build the home, but to build a strong
fence or wall of protection around it, that way when the other woman
comes she won't be able to penetrate it.

This book has revealed a lot of issues most young ladies go through,
and it is a call to every wife out there, to know that they have to pray
for the other lady, for the love of God to fill their heart, for them to
receive grace to overcome whatsoever challenging phase they are in.
Fighting a woman over your husband is never the answer to your
problem, because you might end up losing him, the only profitable
way to fight is on your knees before the throne of mercy. No doubt a
lot of women have gone through pain and in the course of their pain
they have laid curses on young girls so that one day they will feel the
pain they went through, but the fact still remains that at the end of the
day the whole issue keeps going around in circle.

This is a call to every woman out there both single and married, to
begin the work for their home, to learn the good fight and to learn to
abstain from sexual immorality and respecting the vows of marriage.

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02
 It is true that this book focuses on the other woman, but today the
other woman could also be the wife of somebody out there. Married
women are also seen sleeping with men other than their husband, not
just young boys because some of these men are husbands of other
persons too

The word of the Lord is passed through this book and is a means to
touch as many hearts as are out there, that taking another woman's
husband is never a solution, it is time for a revival for all women, a
call onto righteousness and deep love for God. Let the marital vows
be respected, let husbands and wives cling to one another. If God can
be seen in all women both young and old, then the world would be a
better place for everyone.

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03
 PART ONE

My name is Sarah, not the mother of Isaac or the wife of Abraham,

but the mother of an abomination and the wife to fornication. It wasn't
as though I derived pleasure in it, because just like some of you, I was
bathed in religion and engraved with the teachings of truth or rather
doctrines. I knew the Ten Commandments like the back of my palms,
and I could quote the scriptures like the alphabet. I was taught to fear
God and to avoid the 'Do Not'.

I stayed true to teachings and rebuked the devil, because as far as I

knew, my family had an issue with him. He was the one who held
their finance, broke their health and spoilt their plans, so there was an
ever-raging war for us and the devil.

When I progressed in the field of knowledge, I got hit with

limitations, and so I called God, but it seemed he had other things to
attend to, probably He had Pastor Adeboye's call to take or Pastor
Segun's plea to listen to, so my call was always waiting and then it
moved to diverted and then switched off.

I said not to worry, He will call me back, but He never did. He didn't
return my messages as every word written in his book became blurry
and began to make no sense. There was no sweetness in his love
songs but I had to maintain the relationship, you know I looked like a
lovelorn.

So, when Mr. James came to the scene, he splashed my want with
love and gave me all the attention I wanted. I saw the ring in his hand
and I knew he belonged to another. I struggled to refrain from him but
my problems pushed me towards him. I tried to remember the ''Do

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 Not'' but all I heard was Why Not. So, I was forced to do it, just once
I said but I sank deep. I took his love from his woman and caused her
pains at night. My mind wanted to say FORNICATION but all I
could hear was have FUN NO SHAME.

Thus, I became the other woman, I took him from the rightful one.
She came to fight, but not with her God but with her strength, and
each time she failed, I took him in closer until she lost him.

James finally became my toy, he became too available, and my eyes

got irritated. I was done with him but not done with this new game. I
dusted him off my path, I needed a new catch. I moved on with a sack
load of Curses and pain handed easily to me by his wife, but I was too
engrossed to realize the weight of what I was carrying.

I needed a real man, but all that came forward were boys without
experience, clothed with immaturity. I needed a man, strong enough
to take a risk, and he would be of no fun if he didn't belong to another
woman. So, I began my quest for men in Union. I became a heart
ache to many women, the name laid on so many altars, and I sure had
my sack full.

I did get a call back from God you know, He came calling through a
friend from school. She kept talking about how God loves me and
would want a place in my heart. I got really upset, and told her my
mind, why does He want me now, where was He when I needed him
the most? I knew I over reacted, but that was because something in
me felt sad hearing that familiar message. I knew if I kept quiet He
would make me sober and win me back to himself, but I didn't want
that, I felt He didn't deserve me, I felt He owes me an apology for
forsaking me, I felt He doesn't deserve my forgiveness, I just wanted
to hate Him, and so I kept shouting and walked her out of my room

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 and never to come back. I struggled to fight of the guilt I was feeling,
He doesn't love you, I screamed to my heart, I was breaking through
hot tears, why was He calling now, after years of Isolation He finally
has my time.

I quickly erased this moment as quickly as it came, a strong drink will

heal the pain I said, so I took drinks after drinks, lost my balance and
awoke the next morning in the bed of another man. With smiles on
my face, I knew I belonged here, wrapped in the arms of another fool,
whose matrimonial bed has gone cold. This journey gets easier by the
day I said to myself, as I displayed styles his boring wife couldn't
even imagine.

My life became a circle, get a home, destroy the home, find another
destroy and so it goes, without a meaning. But I was still unwilling to
forgive God, to me He was the last name I wanted to hear, not until I
met Martha.

The game was becoming fascinating and I had become a pro, I

tutored young girls on how to catch a man, and how to capture his
heart through the secrets of the inner room. I knew when a man was a
keeper and when he was just an idiot. Mind you I never had anything
to do with young boys, they weren't my type.

I had calculated Williams, Successful, good-looking and definitely

looking starved. I concluded he would be an easy prey, so I choose to
play this one. After carefully making sexy trips around him, I saw
him take off the ring, never mind I said to myself, I love you with the
ring. It didn't take the whole day, and I had him on a king-size bed
showing him things he could only imagine. He was blown, not that I
was surprised, but he said something different, I want to marry you, I
need you in my life he said... What??

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 Honestly, I had been too engrossed with fun that I never realized that
there would be a point that calls for marriage. I just wanted to enjoy
life and here was this man talking about marriage. I knew I wasn't
interested but if I was going to be a master of this game I had to keep
appearance.

So, I smiled and allowed him to go fight his battle at home, another
broken home I said. I waited for the wife's call but I got none. What's
wrong, did he develop a cold foot or what? I called him, and he said, I
spoke to her already. Why hasn’t she called to threaten me, or why
wasn't she fighting, I thought.

I wanted to see for myself, so I went to the house that was where
everything changed. I met his wife; her name is Martha. Not Martha
that stayed in the kitchen, this one definitely spent time with Christ.
She smiled at me, a smile that spoke to my soul, of how much love I
could get from knowing Christ, she didn't fight me, she welcomed me
in, served me food and introduced me to her children as her husband's
friend, and she left.

Despite the coolness of Martha, I felt hot, everywhere was filled with
a certain fire that made me uncomfortable. I tried to keep appearance
but everything was speaking against me, the wedding pictures on the
wall, their beautiful children, everything made me uncomfortable, I
didn't know when tears ran down my cheek. Martha came in and
smiled again, listen to Him, He loves you more than my husband will.
I couldn't hold it anymore, I cried like a child, picked up my bag and I
ran as fast as my legs could carry me, I had met a mystery, I wept
through my way home. No drink could drown how I felt, and as I
woke up the following day, I found myself kneeling before Martha

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 asking for mercy. She led me back to Christ. I felt new again and this
time when I called God he took the call, I had a lot to tell him.

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LESSON DERIVED

This is a lesson for all married and single women, when it comes to the
battle of the other woman, no weapon is stronger than what we have in
Christ. Fighting a woman without God is like giving permission for trouble
to come into your home. No doubt the pain you feel cannot be hidden, the
fact that your husband sees another woman to be good enough to share his
body, is enough invitation to hostility and pain, but been hostile won't solve
the issue, a lot of women out there would say 'Teach that small girl a
lesson' or 'Teach that useless man a lesson' but after that what next, he will
still be involved in another set of immorality and thus lead to series of
issues, sometimes been hostile can solve the case but does it heal the
wound already created.

God is the only one that can solve the issue and heal the wound that comes
with the situation, because it is not easy to love a man that has been
unfaithful to you, least of all praying for a lady that is taking the attention
of your husband, but trust me, talking to God is the only solution, asking
his help has proven over time to be the remedy for things like this.

I believe that as much as we pray against the other woman, we should also
pray for the love of God in their heart, this would go a long way.

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 PART TWO

When it comes to true life stories, we are subjected to hiding our

names, because of security reasons, or personal protection. The
question is what do I have to protect or what about me hasn't been
offered on the table of destruction for total wreck? Oh, I won't place
blames, am not one to do that, I take full responsibility of my actions,
and I have no blame to throw around, I simply have one person to
curse. You see that's the difference, I don't pass blames but I place
curses, and if there is any God that could hear the voice of a broken
sinner, he probably would ensure this curse takes effect. You see my
story isn't one of pity it's one of wrong parenting. Please stay with me
and learn from my story.

My name is Jane, of course you know that's not my real name, I

simply had to take this name up for the story. I was the first daughter
and first child of my parents; a boy came along some years later. My
mum was a very busy wife, hardly available, so at a tender age of 8, I
understood what parenting meant. I became a young mother for my
little brother, I learnt fast, mind you it never meant anything to me,
those were precious moments to me, because I could carry my little
brother all around, and with dad’s permission, I could order anything
I wanted using his card.

Honestly, I don't know what a mother’s love felt like, how would you
miss something you don't even know about. My dad was the only
parent I had, and my brother my little child, as I would always say
back then.

When Dad started touching me at age 13 at very sensitive places, I

didn't see anything wrong with that, he is my dad I thought. We went
from soft caresses and kisses, always ending with I love you daddy.

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 Later on, I began feeling this was wrong, and during one of the days
my mother was around I mustered courage to ask her, not directly
though. Guess what? She shut me up and sent me out of her room,
without addressing the issue, somehow, I knew what my daddy was
doing was wrong but I couldn't talk to anyone. Thanks to the internet
I began to Google, and I knew he was wrong, but I didn't bother
anymore because dad didn't bother me again, probably because mum
was very much available.

When I turned 15, mum took a long trip away, and I was left alone
with him.... You see he recklessly, slaps my buttocks and would
occasionally squeeze my breast, mostly when my little brother was
asleep. I was scared because even though I wasn't told by mum, I
knew this was heading the wrong way, but what could I do. One night
when he came into my room, looking really strange at me, he took me
forcefully, I cried but not even my little brother could save me, he
probably thought dad had to cane me.

If it had ended that night I probably would have been a decent girl
today, but dad never stopped, it became an everyday event, until I
began to enjoy it. I fell in love with my dad, and he said he loved me
too, he gave me fancy gifts, and anything a boyfriend could ever give
you and more.

Mum never made it back from her trip, she died in a car accident, and
honestly, I never cared, because her presence would have spoilt this
new relationship. Few Years down the line, I had to move to school,
but even at school my relationship with daddy didn't grow thin, until
the terrible event that occurred at home.

According to Michael (my little brother), dad was rushing down from
the stairs when he fell down, he came out bad, couldn't use his legs

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 and was reduced to the wheel chair. With dad on the chair, I felt
miserable, couldn't satisfy my urge no matter how I tried. I actually
got involved in one or two relationships with some young guys, but
they just couldn't be like dad, and that was when I BECAME THE
OTHER WOMAN.

I began searching for married men, advanced in age. They were good
in everything, the sex, care and attention. I wasn't interested in the
money you know, I just wanted the love and care my dad could no
longer give me.

In the process of doing this, I broke so many homes, because I was

always on the move. Gradually I became a sex walker, until I met
Joy. I met Joy during my 300 level in school, she was studying
medicine, and we met during a friend's wedding. We talked a lot and
instantly connected and became real friends. We stayed close, until
Joy decided that I should meet her family.

Meeting her family was amazing until I met her dad, it was love at
first sight, and I fell helplessly for him, disregarding her elder brother
that had been trying to talk to me. Over time, I got talking with her
dad, and she never suspected anything, she was actually happy I liked
her family. Finally, I had him in bed with me, and since my dad, this
was the second person I fell in love with, he was just too perfect for
me. Based on his involvement with me, he began missing family
time, and the house grew very suspicious of him.

Joy wasn't expected to come back until Sunday, so I was shocked

when she opened the door, and found me naked and in bed with her
dad. She was broken, and I wasn't surprised when she left me crying.
Our friendship was ruined and so was her family, I later heard that her
mum got a divorce, I tried to call Joys dad, but he didn't take the call.

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 Honestly, I felt awful for Joy and her family, but I was so in love with
her dad that I couldn't get a hold of myself, I kept calling until I knew
I was going to run mad.

It was at that moment that I walked right into the road without
looking, I felt empty as I lay flat on the floor, tired of everything I had
become, losing my friendship with the only girl that wanted to love
me as a sister. I saw myself walking somewhere strange and a lot of
women were standing and staring at me angrily, with whips ready to
lash at me, I was pushed and spat on mercilessly towards a big heap
of load to carry, without any help I carried this heavy burden crying
and searching for a face that would show me mercy, but every face
bore strong hatred for me, in a distance I could see someone walking
towards me, and when I could recognize her face, I realized that my
mother was standing before me, I felt strong hatred rising from within
me, and at that moment the weight I carried felt light. I hate you was
the first word I said to her, I wish you could die again, she was only
staring at me with eyes mixed with pity and regret, and somewhere
behind me I could hear a voice, kind and soft whisper something, let
go of the pain, as I turned to look behind me, I felt a force draw me
back to reality, and everything around me began to fade.

I woke up to a different environment, staring into the eyes of a kind

woman, whom I later discovered brought me to the hospital, after I
walked into the road in front of her car. I went home with this
woman, claiming that I had lost both parents and was an orphan, with
pity and love she decided to take me in. During my stay at her place, I
intended to forget everything about my dream, and continue my
misdeed but, Mr. Akin (the husband to this woman) was no one to
condole that, he rebuked me and brought my evil to his wife, but

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 rather than chase me away she showed me the way to Christ, I felt
terrible and that was when I opened up to her, about everything.

She brought me into repentance, and we went home to see my dad,

Michael was so angry at my dad and left the house angrily, my dad
went into shock and is still in the hospital bed. I still pray for
forgiveness of his soul, and am still trying to reach Joy, if she could
find a place to forgive me.

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LESSON DERIVED

As a mother what will your child have to say about you, as a father what
example are you laying out to your child. The totality of a child's character
is formed from the characters they pick from people who train them. Are
you too busy to impact good characters to your children or are you too
sexually dissatisfied that the child kept in your care becomes your next sex
toy. What are we becoming if we can't account for the children kept under
our care, have we become too concerned about making money and
forgotten about making future leaders?

Don't become a stranger to your children, our responsibilities to children,

spreads far from just basic needs, never let your job or anything come in
between you and your children. Fathers please love as Christ teaches
loving, not to destroy the soul of precious ones kept under your care.

God bless you!!

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 PART THREE

If I hear you say a thing about this to anyone you will be surprised at
what I will do to you, oh you won't even believe I am your sister,
stupid girl. That was 10 years ago, but every day I am hunted by it.

I lived with my sister after the death of our parent and 3 other
siblings. She was married with two beautiful kids that I would cherish
for the rest of my life. I was done with secondary school and was only
awaiting my jamb result when the unfortunate accident that took the
life of my parent and 3 brothers destroyed all my hope. My dreams
were put on hold, and through series of mourning and burial plan, I
knew a part of me was lost.

I felt lucky knowing I wasn't alone, at least I had my elder sister with
me. I moved to her house, and I was encouraged to prepare hard for
my Post-UTME exam. We had a house help, so I wasn't really
bothered with house chores, my only duty was to pick the kids from
school, help with assignments and of course cook for my sister's
husband when he came back. I didn't know why, but my sister had
this hatred for her house helps, and would not want them anywhere
near her husband, she said they were husband snatchers.

I remembered advising her to spend time with her family since her
business was self-owned, but she kept making excuses about standing
as an independent woman. Her independence took her away from
home most weekends and when she would manage to arrive home it
would be very late at night. Her husband never complained, and I
actually admired that about him, not until one afternoon when I came
back home from visiting my friends, and I met both of them in the
sitting room, shouting.

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 I was shocked because I had never seen them that way. I quickly
excused myself to meet Amaka (the house help) so I could hear the
full gist of what happened, that was when Stephen (my sister's son)
told me that mum was beating her and chased her out of the house.

I couldn't understand what happened that day, but my sister said she
was a thief. It felt strange because Amaka and I were quite close, and
she never crossed my mind as a thief. Anyway, that went by and life
continued as usual until I became a victim.

It happened one night, I had prepared the children, and they were
sleeping. My sister was definitely going to come back late, and I had
no intention of waiting for her. I heard a knock on my door, this was
strange. My sister would never knock on my door, she would always
say what do you want to hide, was I not the one that washed you up.
The knock came again, but this time accompanied by a voice, can I
come in?

Strange though but I answered anyway, sir please come in. It was a
bit uncomfortable to hear my uncle tell me stories about his wife, (my
sister) and all he was going through, he spoke for a while, and despite
the fact that I felt pity for him, I couldn't understand what exactly he
wanted a 16 years old girl to do about his marital affair. I was already
quite sleepy, and I think he figured I was barely listening, so he said
forget about all I am saying, clear the dishes in the dining room and
then go to bed, with this he left my room. I was grateful because I
was already too tired to listen to anything again.

I left my room heading straight to get the dishes, my uncle was still in
the parlor, seeing a movie. I quickly cleared the dishes and walked
out saying goodnight. For a girl of my age, I already possessed

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 incredible asset on my chest and my back side, and as I moved back
to my room carelessly with sleepy eyes, my uncle called me back.

I became quite alert, because I could feel my uncle's eyes lingering

too much on my breast and I wasn't comfortable with it. Uncle you
called me, I said. Yes, get me a glass of water please, as I moved to
get the water I could feel his eyes all over me, I was really scared I
decided to quickly get him the water and just go to my room. I was
still holding the door to the fridge when I felt someone grab me from
behind. I screamed but no one could come to my aid. My uncle drew
me back, I was shouting begging and still fighting. He didn't hear me,
or perhaps he did, but was blinded by evil desire, he didn't stop till he
had his way.

My sister came back the next morning and came straight to my room
she banged at the door, and called my name. I opened the door with
tears in my eyes, I wanted to tell her everything that happened but the
next thing I heard shocked me. Stop crying like a baby, wash up and
come down stairs, I have things I want you to do. I stood there
looking at her, as if I had seen a ghost, there was no pity in her voice
just disgust and anger directed towards me. She left my room without
even looking at me the second time. I was filled with anger and I
decided that I had to confront her, for God's sake I was her sister.

I went down to the kitchen to talk to her, but she looked at me and
said, If I hear you say a thing about this to anyone you will be
surprised at what I will do to you, oh you won't even believe I am
your sister, stupid girl, now take that pill fast. I stared at her but I dare
not disobey. I cried everyday wishing my parent were still alive to
save me. I didn't see her husband for over 2 weeks, and I thought my
sister had divorced him, I was happy and I felt that it was the

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 accumulated anger of the divorce that made her react that way. I felt
she loved me, and stood for me by sending her husband away, but
that was only an imagination.

He came home on Saturday after two weeks, looking happy, I froze

when I heard his voice outside. I tried to run but my legs stood on the
ground. When he saw me, he looked at me with disgust, then turned
to my sister, what is she still doing here? I thought I told you I never
want to see her, then he left into his room. My sister followed him,
and I heard voices but couldn't make out all the words. My uncle
wanted me out of his house after raping me, and my sister couldn't
stand for me, she probably believes whatever lie he told her.

My sister stayed at home regularly and I felt safe, but I knew I

couldn't stay here again. Two months had already past but the whole
event felt strange. My sister took in again, and there was joy in the
house, time speed through and everything was almost going back to
normal, until he came at me again. My sister had gone for antenatal
that afternoon, and the children were in school. I was alone at home,
preparing lunch in the kitchen when I heard someone call me from the
door, I looked up and saw my uncle staring at me with that same eyes.
I didn’t hear him come in and was rather surprised to see him home
by this time. It's been a while you know, he said, coming towards me,
I felt so irritated, but I wasn't ready to beg, seeing his eyes alone had
made my heart gone cold.

He tried to force himself again on me, but this time I fought bravely, I
couldn't let him feed on my weakness again, I pushed a knife through
his legs and ran out of the house. I ran until I was sure he wasn't
coming after me, I walked back to the house when I saw him drive
out of the house. I went to the kitchen and saw he had cleaned up

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 everywhere, I knew I couldn't stay anymore. I quickly packed few of
my things and I stole some money from my sister's wardrobe. I
wanted to leave a note for my sister but I decided against it, she
doesn't trust me what difference does it make. I didn't have any idea
of where to go, I knew if I should go to my friends place they would
definitely find me, that's if they would look for me, but anyway my
friends’ parents would want to know why I left home. So, I decided
against it.

I found a small hotel room where I could stay for 3,000 per night, I
negotiated with the manager, and he agreed to give me the room for
20000 a week. I spent that night crying, still not having a clue of what
to do. The next morning, I discovered I had 25 missed calls from my
sister, and from friends. A message from her threatening to kill me
and that useless boy I ran away with. I was too shocked still
wondering what her husband might have told her. I took out my sim
card, and broke it. After calculating the money, I had, N15,000 cash
and N7000 in my account, I knew it was not going to take me for
long. I had to get a job. I walked through the street that day looking
for something to do, but I couldn't find anything useful. I even asked
the receptionist in the hotel if there was vacancy but everything
seemed against me. It wasn't until the 5th day that I got a job in a mini
restaurant. The job came with accommodation that looked like a store
were 2 other girls were already occupying.

I went back to see if I could get a refund from the hotel, but they
refused. I left angrily after series of argument. On my way to the
restaurant I realized that my phone was either going to cause me issue
or get stolen, so I called Tolu the only person I trusted and kept in
touch with. When we met I asked her to help me sell my phone and

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 pay directly to my account, she agreed, and walked with me to see the
place where I got a job. Tolu felt sorry for me, but there was nothing
she could do to help me, and she had to promise not tell anyone
where I was staying.

Working at the restaurant wasn't as easy as I thought, customers came

in almost every minute there was hardly a time to rest. Madam Iyabo
paid us 7000 Naira every month, I didn't have to spend the money
because she gave us food, and accommodation. I still had very good
clothes and since I barely had anywhere to go, I began to sell most of
my clothes to my colleagues whose interest was to look good to
attract customers for boyfriends. I raised a total of 10000 from selling
nearly half of my clothes, things that would have worth tens of
thousands. Anyway, I needed enough money to get out of here to go
to school.

Tolu was always there to see me on Sundays, and that was the only
opportunity I had to give her money to pay into my account. It was 3
months into my job that Tolu came to tell me that she got admission,
and she would be leaving. I was happy for her but couldn't hide my
sadness of how my life had turned into, when Tolu left I discovered
how difficult it was to keep money safe in the room. Any tip given to
me, disappears between night and morning and everyone would claim
ignorant, when I reported the case to my madam she didn't say
anything but asked me if she was sharing the room with us.

I knew at these rates I would lose money easily, because I barely had
time to leave the shop not to talk of going to the bank. I kept thinking
all night about what to do, as the month was coming to an end and I
would receive my salary. As if God heard me, my madam called me
the next day to go and collect her fufu (a local meal prepared from

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 cassava) from the woman that sells to her since Ngozi was sick and
couldn't go as usual. On my way to get the fufu I discovered that there
was a POS (point of sales) and I was really happy. When I got back to
the shop, I told Ngozi not to worry that I would be helping get the
fufu, so she can get her strength back. I used the POS for almost a
year, till I had an issue with my madam.

She accused me of stealing her money, when she caught me at the

POS, she refused to believe me when I told her it was my salary I was
saving. She sent me out of her shop and once again I was on the
street. I got a room that night at a nearby hotel. Hoping that I would
get something fast, that night I walked through the street till I got to
see a bar, I spoke to the manager, and she agreed to give me
something to do, although there would be no accommodation.

I was happy though and the next day I went to her shop. She told me I
would only work night duty and that she would pay me 20,000, I was
quite happy, I searched for a room, but couldn't get any affordable
price. When I returned for work in the evening I discovered that my
job wasn't only to serve drinks and food, but to also offer my body
when required. It was a horrible sight but I didn't know what else to
do, I needed the job to survive. I met Rose, and she agreed to share
her room with me but I had to pay her 30,000 a year. I willingly
agreed to pay, at least anything to take me out of that hotel.

I was able to successfully avoid the men for the first month, although
I had a lot of offers, due to my body shape and beauty. After one
month my madam had to warn me that if I couldn't give her extra
source of income she would send me out of her bar.

I did try not to do it, but as the weeks grew by I knew I had to
succumb, I slept with different men, and they all seemed to profess

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 love to me, aside from my salary, I got heavy tips from very wealthy
men, and soon my madam became envious of me. I knew there would
be a point when she would kick me out of her bar, but rather than wait
for it I left the bar. When most of my customers didn't see me, they
began calling me and came to see me. I left Rose and moved into a
self-contained provided by one of my numerous customers.

After a while I got tired of guys that gave me peanut, I wanted to earn
better, I needed to move with the real ladies, so I began going to clubs
meant for the rich. It was there I met Mr. Peter. He was married with
2 children, but I didn't care. Peter was quite possessive and didn't
want to share me with anyone. He spent money on me and took me
everywhere I wanted. When he bought me a house and a car, I knew
he was really serious about us. I didn't love him, but I loved his
money and the attention.

One day I was assaulted by his wife, she called me all sort of names
and smashed my car. I wasn't sacred, rather I was angry. I called peter
and told him we were done because of what his wife did to me. He
begged me and cried like a child, after several days, I got a call from
his wife begging me to forgive her. I felt on top of the world, and
when peter called again I accepted him back. Peter was always with
me, hardly spending time with his family.

It was on my 26th birthday that I met Andrew, young and very

intelligent. Peter couldn't make it to celebrate with me, because he
had to travel out of the country on a very important meeting. Andrew
was invited by a friend, and when we were introduced it was love at
first sight, we got talking, and I was impressed at how much he had
accomplished for himself. After my birthday we kept talking and
hung out several times. His company felt so real and sparked

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 something within me, and I knew I wanted to have him to myself. So,
when he asked if we could date, I willingly said yes. Everything was
going well until Peter returned from his trip. He didn't even call, he
just came home and found Andrew and I together. The scene was too
bad and I wouldn't want to remember. Andrew got upset and left,
while peter asked me to leave his house before the next day.

I tried to reach Andrew but couldn't, after 3 days, he sent me a text

that he wanted us to meet. I was really embarrassed but I still wanted
to see him. When we met he said I simply want to ask you a question
and I want the truth. Who was that man? I couldn't say anything, tears
filled my eyes. He said of course he is your lover, is he married? I
still couldn't talk, I am sorry Andrew, please I am sorry. I could see
angry flames rising from his eyes, I thought he would hit me, and
really if that was what it took for him to forgive me, then no problem,
but he didn't he just said do you know why I am an orphan? No, I
said. Let me tell you, my father was seeing another woman, and when
my mother discovered she was too shocked to bear the truth. She
slumped and died instantly, my father out of guilt hung himself, but
he didn't die, because someone came in just in time. He became
mentally ill and was sent to a mental health center. I can never forgive
you, because when I see you, I feel you killed my mother.

I was too shattered to cry, I just sat there not knowing where to go. I
cried all the way, I couldn't go back to the hotel I was staying I just
kept walking, I wanted to end my life, I didn't want this world again.
It was while I was sitting down on a pavement looking like a mad
woman, that I realized I had to go back to where it all started. I didn't
know if I could see my sister or her wicked husband but I just felt it
deep inside to go back.

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 I traced where we used to stay before, and I discovered they had
moved. After series of asking questions I found my sister and her
children. It was a moment of grief and pain. We both cried, and I
knew this wasn't time to pour blames. My sister told me how she lost
her home to a younger woman, and she had to take care of her
children herself, thank God for her business. She kept telling me how
sorry she was for not coming to look for me. Sister, please I want to
ask you a question why didn't you stand for me back then, I said. Am
sorry, please forgive me, I knew my husband raped you, but I was
protecting my home, I didn't want my children growing up with the
stigma that there father raped their aunt or the idea of a divorced
family, my husband had been a promiscuous man, he sleeps with all
the house help I got. I never knew he would extend it to my sister.
Am sorry I didn't come after you, I tired but I couldn't reach you. I
wanted to still help you, even if you won't stay in the house. I am so
sorry my dear. I told her all that happened to me, and how I lost the
only guy I really loved. We cried, and she kept insisting that she
caused all of it, but I told her not to feel that way.

It is true my path was difficult, but I choose evil and I wouldn't blame
anyone for it. I would bear my cross and find my path to God again. I
forgave my sister but I couldn't stay with her. With the money I had, I
started my own saloon, while seeking Gods mercy every day. I knew
it wouldn't be easy but this time I decide to work right hoping that one
day, God would forgive and restore me again.

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LESSON DERIVED

Rape has become the other of the day in almost every part of the world.
Previously we could quickly point hands to indecent dressing as the basis
of rape, to justify the act of harassing people sexually, but what indecency
does a little child know? How sexual satisfaction is derived from assaulting
young children is still a puzzle.

Mothers this is not a time to overly dress young children as if they are in a
fashion world when all they care about is to throw dirt on their clothes,
allow children to be children, don't force maturity on them, let them enjoy
the beauty of their childhood, let them have memories and stories to tell,
while you keep a watchful eye against any Uncle whose morality has gone
hay wire.

Rape is no longer news in this area, but how does the victim copes after it,
is what is most important, this is a period of emotional trauma that most
adult can't get over how much more a child or a teenager, as a guide
remember that life does not revolve around you. In the quest to cover the
deeds of ungodly men, you render the life of a child useless, by threating
them so as to silence them.

Please, God is calling you today, to remind you that he expects more from
you and that you are accountable for every life he places under you.

God bless you.

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 PART FOUR

My everyday life revolved around, going to the office, back home,

sometimes the market and church. I wasn't the high-spirited lady, but
I loved God, at least I feel I do. I was brought up in a Christian home,
my parents were leaders in the church, but despite all the teachings
they give I wasn't very strong in the faith, I just lived taking each day
as it comes. Do I say my prayers? Of course, I do, I know God is a
major factor of my day, and I never fail to say thank you. I grew to be
an independent woman, and I was happy for what I had achieved, or,
so I thought, until mum began waking me every morning with a
phone call, to remind me of how time wasn't on my side, and how I
had to take it slow in my achievement because men do not feel
secured marrying a woman who is more successful than they are. I
didn’t know why my success has to be a bad thing, because I had
worked so hard to get to this point and I wasn't about to give it up for
anybody.

Hmm, my love life, do I even have one? The truth is I haven't met the
one, guys that come around me, either want to sleep with me, or to
sap from my wealth, so excuse me if you feel offended when I
generalize, that all men are professional scum bags. I didn't pray to
God for a man, I felt He had other important things to do, rather than
handle trivial issues. Well my parents, especially my mum didn't see
it that way, so to please her, I attended prayer house meetings almost
all the time to see prophets who were just money mongers, they said I
was possessed and needed deliverance, I actually saw it as fun and to
get her off my neck I kept going, at least I felt better the energy was
directed to the prophets rather than on me. I would have kept going if
not for one unfortunate prophet.

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 I was asked to sleep in the church or prayer house during one of my
numerous visits with my mum. The prophet insisted that I had to
spend three days in the prayer house in fasting and prayers, so God
can see my dedication, my mum encouraged me and left. I actually
felt this was going to be different because so far this prophet hadn't
asked for anything it was just series of prayers and fasting. That night
at about 1 am in the morning, I decided to wake up to pray, since I
wasn't the overly spiritual person I just laid on the mat, eyes closed
and was really talking to God. I really felt God was listening, because
I had never felt this close when talking to him, I was carried away in
prayers, until I noticed something on my leg, the hall was dark, so I
couldn't make out what it was, I jumped to my feet and quickly
located my bag for my lamp, that was when I saw the prophet. Gosh,
right now it's so funny but then I couldn't laugh, he was wearing only
his boxers and his manhood stood erect, he began advancing towards
me. I didn't know where the grace came from, but I took him down
and ran out of the building.

That was the end of visiting prayer house and that kept my mother
shut for a while. It was two months after the encounter, and I had to
travel for a week long all-expense paid conference in Lagos. On the
third day of the conference I met Engineer Femi as I was heading out
of the hall for lunch. When I sited him, there wasn't particularly
anything amazing about his feature, he was like every other guy I had
met, except you could smell his riches from afar. He smiled at me
when I walked closer and I couldn't help but return his smiles, and
that was when I noticed the air of excellence that hung around him. I
took a mental note of his entire outfit and I knew he had to be rich to
afford those designers watch and shoes.

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 I walked away without saying a word until I met with him again at the
restaurant, he gave me that knowing smile, and we ended up sharing
the table, we talked about everything ranging from the conference,
business, politics, the economy and even religion. The conversation
was simple and comfortable, after lunch, we went back to the
conference hall together. We exchanged numbers easily, and we
made it a routine to share lunch and dinner during the remaining four
days of the conference.

It was on one of our discussions that I knew that Femi had a daughter,
he never said anything about his wife or her mother and I assumed he
was either a divorcee or a widower. I didn't want to ask anything
personal, so as not to make him uncomfortable. We enjoyed our time
in Lagos and I returned to Abuja.

Well things didn't go back to the way it was, as I began experiencing

a side of me I never knew existed. Femi and I kept in touch, was that
keeping in touch? We were actually talking almost every hour. He
awakened strange feelings within me, and I knew I was falling in
love. I was afraid to ask him questions, so he wouldn't assume what
might be going on in my head. So, I dug him up on social media,
searching for any detail I could find, but I couldn't find anything,
because as advanced as he was he wasn't on social media.

I knew I was falling in love with him, but I felt I still had control over
it, not until he came to Abuja to see me. We spent the whole evening
talking and dining, and then we made love. I was excited about him,
and I wasn't bothered that he had a child. It was really nice of him to
talk about his daughter, so I knew he would be a good father, and
these further drove my love for him. After two weeks of us staying
together and me having expectations that I have finally met the right

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 one, he told me he wanted us to talk. Oh! My God, my head was
spinning, I didn't even know how to express my gratitude to God, in
just the space of two months this guy was going to propose. I flew
down to Lagos, and after lunch that Saturday, he didn't propose, I still
had hope, he probably would be the old fashion guy wanting to do it
at home.

When we got home that evening, he had arranged for us to have

dinner in the most romantic way, in the open light under the sky,
where the perfectness of nature could be seen. I knew this was going
to be it, he began by telling me how much he loved me and how I
brought light into his life. He said babe am really sorry but I need to
tell you the truth, what truth could that be, I kept asking myself until
he said I AM MARRIED, I smiled and said, baby no, that's not how it
is supposed to be said, it is will you marry me, but never mind Yes, I
will. I could see tears forming in his eyes, no baby he said, am not
asking you, although I would love to, because I love you so much, but
am not asking you, I am telling you baby, I AM MARRIED, and with
a child.

That was the last thing he had the opportunity of saying, because I
could remember shouting, but I can't remember anything else that I
said. Femi kept calling and sending messages to me, Oh God I tried to
get him out of my mind, I fought really hard, I didn't want to love
him, he belonged to another woman, but I couldn't stop myself, I saw
myself missing him and longing for him.

Please don't judge me quite fast, I had never met a man that loved me
and respected me the way Femi did. He was my first, yes, a grown
lady of 28, I never felt any guy deserved me, until I met Femi, and

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 now I couldn't get him out of my mind. Every time I tried, he just
came back with too much force.

He came to my office one morning with a bouquet, and I knew if I

didn't talk with him, this wouldn't be the last of such display. So, I
agreed to see him, in the evening after work. Throughout work that
day I could hardly concentrate, his scent filled my office and I could
feel my nipples rising to the thought of him. Later that evening when
we talked over dinner I knew there was no escape now, I loved this
guy. I agreed to have him back, and we ended the night in my bed
again.

My mind kept telling me to stop but I couldn't, Femi took several

trips to Abuja to be with me, and when he was with his family I felt
so jealous. Like a flash one year was gone and then two, I wasn’t
even considering that age was on my side. I knew I didn't want to be a
baby mama for Femi but that would happen if I took in. I couldn't
have any other relationship because my world was wrapped around
Femi, but I knew I had to leave if I wanted a life for myself, but the
problem was I didn't know how to leave, plus I couldn't picture any
life without Femi in it.

I wasn't expecting mum so early, although she had called to say she
was coming, but I felt before she came Femi would have left for his
trip to Lagos. My mother's aggressive knock made me realize I hadn't
plan my escape well, I didn't want to open the door, but mum let
herself in with her spare key. She was so furious with me, and was
heading directly to my bedroom to shout at me. I ran out almost
immediately because I knew what would happen if she entered my
room and met me in that position, with a man, I hadn't cared to
introduce.

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 When she finally met Femi she was delighted but held a certain
dislike for him. Femi introduced himself and excused us, because he
had a trip to catch that morning. My mum started her preaching, of
how wrong it is to have premarital sex, I wasn't surprised but I felt
bad that she thought Femi and I were in a relationship heading for
marriage. I don't know why my spirit does not agree with that man,
did you pray before starting this relationship, my mum asked. I had
never been a good liar, so I knew lying wasn't the option. Aside from
mum's constant trouble to get married she was my best friend, and she
instantly felt something was wrong. I didn't want to talk, but I knew I
had to tell someone and the only person I could trust was my mum, so
I told her everything.

I knew mum wasn't judgmental, but mum gave me the blasting of my

life, she didn't fail to let me know how stupid and foolish I was. It
wasn't until I started crying that she stopped and held me close. We
cried together and after a lot of talk she made me promise to end the
relationship. It wasn't easy and I had to beg mum to stay with me for
some time.

Getting over Femi wasn't easy and sometimes I felt like forgetting
everything and going back to him, but I fought hard this time. I began
reconciling with God and I began to feel much better. It was few
months after my decision to move on that Karma came knocking on
my door.

I loved social media, and my day wasn't complete without spending

time there, but the shock I met that evening was too bad to take. I saw
my picture flooded on social media with insults and threats. I was too
shocked to say anything, I felt Femi was doing this to punish me, but
he wasn't on social media so why this, and that was when I saw the

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 name of the woman. It was Femi's wife, my life felt useless in an
instant, I couldn't imagine the pain going on in their home right now.
I knew the home was going down because I had been too selfish to
refuse Femi.

I wanted to make amend, but every time I tried to reach out, I was
met with cruel statements and curses, and I am sure God would
approve quickly. I knew my name had been stained for life and
finding hope might be quite difficult. I got a 1-month leave from my
office, because they were too lenient to call it a suspension, actually I
needed it, because I wasn't sure I was ready to face the world with all
that had happened.

I still regret my actions, at first, I wanted to blame it on the fact that I

was too quick to give in because of the pressure to get married but on
the other hand, it wasn't the pressure that made me do it, it was just
what I wanted to do at the time, I really wanted love and, in my quest,
I took it from a wrong source. Everybody on social media who read
the post never had anything good to say, I was cursed, threatened and
even removed from many group chats. Femi didn't get half of what I
received from social media. They all believed that I was a spoilt child,
and a gold digger. I know I deserve it, but I wish they knew I tried to
fight off this feeling, that I was just starved of true love and when the
first glimpse of something that looked promising came, I took it
without thinking twice. I pray I find forgiveness, because I still feel I
caused the divorce of MR & MRS FEMI A.

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LESSON DERIVED

Truly many ladies out there are victims of circumstance, they got into
situations without knowing their true image. This is a question to married
men out there, how long will you continue in thy unfaithful ways? Repent
while the anger of God is still but a little, else when the wrought of God
shall fully come there would be no hiding place.

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 CONCLUSION

The bible says in the book of psalm chapter 34 verse 19, many are the
afflictions of the righteous but the lord delivers them from it all.
There are many young ladies out there, including you reading this
book today. The lord is asking you a question, how long shall you
mourn? Truly you have lost a lot, not by your own doing, just like the
ladies in this book, but how long will you keep crying and wailing,
how long will you continue to use the past events of your life to
justify the wrong you are doing today. The lord is calling you today,
He is stretching out his hands today, He wants you to know that He
knows your name, that while you were still in your mother's womb
He knew you and He still has plans for you, He is standing at the door
to your heart knocking and asking for a chance with you, a chance to
heal, to redeem and restore all the lost years. God is still calling, and
He won't stop until you let Him in, please take a moment to re-
commit your life into the hands of God, He really does love you.

Great mothers and Wives out there, be encouraged in the word Mark
10:9 what the lord has joined together no one can put asunder, but do
not fight the Lords battle (Exodus 14:14). I understand your pain and
I know how it hurts to see your husband with another woman, but I
pray thee that you take that pain to the Lord, let him heal you and
restore your home, cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you
(1st peter 5:7). Anger and fight has never been the solution to this
problem. Most of you are actually reaping the seed you sowed during
your days as a single lady, but I have come to announce to you today,
that God is still in the ministry of forgiving and healing lost souls,
invite him into your life and see what He will do. Though your sin be
as scarlet they shall be as white as snow (Isaiah 5:18)

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 Husbands and fathers, how long will thou continue in iniquity, has
thou forgotten that thy position lies as the head of the home, that leads
and others follow. How long will thou give the mantle of leadership
to the devil? Take what belongs to you and restore the home which
God gave you rulership over.

May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all Amen.

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