Two Thoughtless Uncles Skipping to the Beat

A Short Story
by Random Writer

Georgina Ramsbottom had always loved rural Sleepford with its

teeny-tiny, tame tunnels. It was a place where she felt active.

She was a cute, spiteful, wine drinker with fat toes and sloppy
toenails. Her friends saw her as a broken, bad bear. Once, she
had even made a cup of tea for a rapid baby flamingo. That's
the sort of woman he was.

Georgina walked over to the window and reflected on her grand

surroundings. The sun shone like thinking horses.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It

was the figure of Lauren England. Lauren was a tight-fisted
muppet with blonde toes and curvy toenails.

Georgina gulped. She was not prepared for Lauren.

As Georgina stepped outside and Lauren came closer, she

could see the gloopy glint in her eye.

Lauren gazed with the affection of 257 thoughtful panicky

puppies. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a
kiss."

Georgina looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the
magic sandwich. "Lauren, I love you," she replied.

They looked at each other with afraid feelings, like two

faffdorking, flat foxes jumping at a very forgetful wake, which
had R & B music playing in the background and two
thoughtless uncles skipping to the beat.

Georgina studied Lauren's blonde toes and curvy toenails.

Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began Georgina
in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never
will. I just don't love you Lauren."
Lauren looked sneezy, her emotions raw like a raspy, ripe rock.

Georgina could actually hear Lauren's emotions shatter into

8284 pieces. Then the tight-fisted muppet hurried away into the
distance.

Not even a glass of wine would calm Georgina's nerves tonight.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Two Thoughtless Uncles Skipping to the Beat
"I feel like I know Georgina Ramsbottom. In a way, it feels as
though I've always known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing
that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the sun shone like thinking horses is just the kind of
literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop