Please don’t let me die, ​I plead while stabbing myself with an EpiPen.

I am not religious,

but when I find myself on the edge between life and death, I suddenly wish for miracles while

warding off nagging thoughts of Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest theory knowing that without

modern medicine, I might be weeded out of existence. I am deathly allergic to a long list of foods

that rattle off my tongue always in this order like one awful word:

“peanutstreenutsbananassesameseedssunflowerseedskiwischerriesavocadoseggplant

chickpeasandlentils.”

I was cursed being born a food lover and having so many food allergies. As a young

child, every crispy golden french fry, steamy soup dumpling, and gooey chocolate chip cookie

found its way into my mouth. However, my body rejected many foods with swelling lips,

gripping throat, cramping stomach pains, and burning itchy skin. Food made me anxious and

kept me away from wholly engaging in social events and celebrations.

I pretended to be “OK” living in the shadows of fear and anxiety, but my body was in a

constant state of hypersensitivity, sometimes even reacting to foods I thought were safe. My

family and I were desperate for answers. Local allergists labeled my condition “idiopathic

anaphylaxis,” unable to pinpoint the cause of my reactions. I spent many nights in the ER writing

papers, compiling lab reports, and studying for exams with my mind groggy from epinephrine

and Benadryl. It became sadly comical when the ER staff asked me how I did on an AP exam for

which I had studied during my previous ER visit. As a student athlete and musician in an

academically competitive school, I didn’t have the luxury of flexibility in my schedule to

physically and emotionally recover from my allergic reactions. Juggling school, baseball, and
music with food allergies was challenging, but living was my main focus; everything else

became a gift.

I was referred to the Jaffe Food Allergy Institute in Manhattan, where I learned that

anaphylactic symptoms can be caused by extreme anxiety and increased cortisol levels. Later, I

discovered Dr. Atul Shah, renowned for successfully treating patients using Oral Immunotherapy

(OIT). This allergen-desensitization process involves ingesting a food allergen daily in

increasing amounts over many months, ultimately providing protection against that allergen. I

had to commit to a lifetime of daily dosing for OIT to work properly. Consequently, I’ve become

a food allergy “expert,” as Dr. Shah has mentored me and taught me the science behind my

treatment. My life has changed dramatically: I am currently able to ingest five peanuts and 2,500

mg of sesame powder a day. I no longer have frequent flyer miles to the ER.

As hope replaced fear, I gained a newfound passion to help others. Many of my

schoolmates struggle silently with their food allergies. No one wants to be a vulnerable target,

but we need those around us to be aware of our needs to keep us safe. I partnered with another

student with food allergies to create the Food Allergy Support Team at my high school. We have

already made progress by creating an allergen-safe space in our school library cafe and

establishing a platform for students to share their experiences.

Nevertheless, more work needs to be done on a larger scale in education and food allergy

treatment. Proper mental health support in this field is lacking, and medical services need to

become more affordable and accessible to everyone. Allergy treatments are expensive, and most

are not covered by insurance. Allergies do not discriminate by race, gender, culture, or

socioeconomic level; therefore, the availability of healthcare services should not discriminate as
well. With my unique perspective, I know my calling is in the allergy and immunology field. As

I begin my next chapter, I am determined to enhance the lives of those living with food allergies

so they, too, can enjoy the gifts that life has to offer.