DWTS GR GT GOD DGG bbw Geb Doe bea ii bib bt HowO CLEAN EVERYTHING THE COMPLETE GUITAR AND BASS TRANSCRIPTIONSAll notation and tablature contained herein refers to that used by Guitar Pro 6, which is a very useful and very frustrating guitar tablature program that exists in this reality. If you, like me, have never Iearned how to read music notation, it is probably worth seeking out a primer online, before you dive in and get all mad that these tabs aren't right and then embarass yourself on social media by saying so, only to be clowned by others. ‘This link might be helpful: http:/commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Musical_notationHi, My name is Jesus H Chris and-fm-an-aleoholie. Thank you for purchasing the How To Clean Everything guitar and bass tab book. I'm sure it will give you and-your-family years of enjoyment. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, “Wait. Who transcribed these songs anyways? Some 3-year-old corporate shill in a North Korean sweatshop earning 1 cent a year while Bill Gates drinks conflict diamonds on a yacht made of champagne? I mean, just how can The sure these tabs are accurate?” Well you can rest assured my critical-thinking friend, for it was I— the man (sic) himself, who played guitar on How To Clean Everything 80 many years ago — who painstakingly transcribed each and every one of these songs with a level of care usually reserved for a dying parent. ‘Truth be told, I went so far as to procure the discrete instrumental tracks from the original master tapes themselves. I did not fuck around folks. I wanted this to be book to bu acurrate. Having said that, listening to said discrete tracks was an incredibly disturbing experience from which I may never recover. Imean, sure, you can tell the album was recorded quickly and carelessly as a finished product (we had better things to do back then than practice or prepare in any way, shape or form for our debut album) but holy Jesus Christ on a shit stick make of dog dung people, playing back the individual performances makes one realize what a truly colossal gong show the whole thing really was. There are many instances where John (bass) and I were not even playing the same notes, let alone anywhere near at the same time. I have struggled to subtly account for many of these bizarre instances in the transcriptions without sacrificing the authenticity of the record, which I suppose is it’s...it’s charm? It's no secret that the majority of How to Clean Everything makes me cringe so hard that there is virtually nothing left in my chair but a tiny, flaccid, malodorous accordion of flesh when the needle finally and mercifully runs out of record. But there’s also something strangely enjoyable in its complete and utter absurdity. Maybe it’s the bath salts talking, but I've come to believe that there is value in having something that haunts you until you're dead. Goodbye. Jesus H. Chris Schadenfreude, Austria 2013666660606608588588888 8 SeeAnti-Manifesto Head, Chest or Foot? Hate, Myth, Muscle, Etiquette Showdown Ska Sucks... . 25 Middle Finger Response 69 Stick the Fucking Flag Up Your Goddamn Ass . 83 Haillie Sellasse, Up Your Ass ..99 Fuck Machine.. This Might Be Satire Who Will Help Me Bake This Bread’TICK the FUCK in Flag Up your goa ee ee an S 2B 2 | Sone to aba ‘King ‘goddam ASS. we < % Ahr ta en steate Saco, Sea ey ee ea centage Sc e dag Wat at eee hing thas PU ly escaped? 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