Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The Family Theory PDF
The Family Theory PDF
Understanding Families
Applying
Family Systems
Theory to
boundaries tend to be more closed and restrictive; the and values in which he believes. Help him find ways to
families emphasize togetherness, belonging, emotional appreciate and honor his family’s support. As Mark’s
connectedness, and at teacher you may plan activities
times, conformity. They that allow his family to see Mark’s
may control rather than Boundaries relate to limits, togeth- uniqueness or activities that lend
monitor their children’s themselves to family involvement.
friends and activities. erness, and separateness—what or Help Mark to see the ways in
Discipline is one way a who is “in” or “out of” the family. which his family does support his
family can enforce the development.
boundaries within the
family (Kern & Peluso 1999). Behaviors are seen as a
reflection on the family, not just the individual. These
Ideas for working with families—Boundaries
families are sometimes referred to as enmeshed. An 1. Recognize different parenting styles and family bound-
individual’s identity is very much tied to the family when aries. Educators often perceive the family who comes to
he or she is part of an enmeshed family. meetings and responds with active and enthusiastic in-
Early childhood professionals should remain open when volvement and participation (helps with learning or disci-
thinking about these two types of families. One is not pline issues, provides materials for a special project, serves
positive and the other negative; the types are just different as a volunteer) as more caring and as a “good family.” The
from each other. Families may show signs and degrees of family who responds politely to requests but leaves day-to-
each type; this may vary at any given point, depending on day decisions and work on school matters to the child and
factors such as age of the children, economic circum- teacher (allows child to experience consequences due to
stances, and the family’s stage of development (for ex- lack of preparation for a quiz or forgetting their share item
ample, first-time parents versus a family with several for the day) is seen as less caring and uninvolved. Build on
children). Other factors, including the families in which family strengths and avoid labeling and allowing personal
the parents grew up, the social and political climate of the bias to influence your interactions with families.
times, the culture and values of the family, and health or
2. Avoid stereotypes. Just because a student is of a
mental issues in the family, also influence the degree of
certain culture does not automatically mean that student’s
enmeshment or disengagement. Over time families may
family is of a given religion, does not have legal status, has
change from one style to another. For example, during
a certain discipline style, or has a specific socioeconomic
times of stress and crisis a family that had operated in a
status (Kagan & Garcia 1991). It is critical for teachers to
disengaged manner may move toward a more closed
become familiar with the cultural background of individual
system.
students.
Miguel’s family is closer to the enmeshed end of the
continuum while Mark’s family tends to be more disen- 3. Recognize that for some families everything is a
gaged. Mark may sometimes wish his parents would be- family affair. Be sure to have enough chairs, snacks, and
come more involved with his activities, while Miguel may materials to accommodate extended families at events and
secretly wish his family would occasionally keep their opin- conferences. For some families, an invitation to family
ions to themselves! The family’s involvement in his prepara- night includes aunts, uncles, cousins, friends who serve as
tion for the competition indicates their enmeshment. family, and even neighbors (Trawick-Smith 2005).
In a conversation with Mark’s parents about next term’s 4. Balance children’s activities and curriculum to incor-
activities, you may learn that while Mark’s mother thinks porate both individual and group identity. Whether their
sports would help his lagging physical development, his families are disengaged or enmeshed, children need
father fears self-esteem issues could arise if Mark struggles opportunities to experience who they are individually and
because of this lag. However, both feel that it is Mark’s as a part of a group.
decision and they will support it. Mark’s family’s disen- 5. Respect families’ need for control. When introducing
gagement works to foster his independence and develop new ideas, materials, or experiences to children, involve
his identity, while Miguel’s identity is closely related to families as well. Also recognize that some family members
that of his family. did not have positive experiences with education as they
As an educator, you would foster both Miguel’s and were growing up. While they may display anger, hostility,
Mark’s sense of identity while respecting their families: or mistrust, and these may be directed at you, the source
share what you know about each boy’s real strengths with may be events from the past. It will take time and persis-
them and their families. Help each child and his family to tence to build a relationship with these families. Teachers
see the characteristics that make him unique and wonder- need to demonstrate that families can depend on and trust
ful. Work with Miguel to identify family rituals, traditions, them to help in the education of their children.
gets blamed for everything at home. Set up situations for in ways that are not consistent with that rule. We usually
that child to see herself in different roles. For example, find out about an unspoken rule by breaking it and then
engage the child in working with you to negotiate a dis- experiencing the consequences. Rules are often embedded
pute between two other children or allow the child to lead in a cultural context; therefore, they can contribute to the
an activity. feeling of cultural discontinuity that some children experi-
3. Help families recognize their children’s many and ence at school. When home and school cultures conflict,
varied strengths. A note home might read, “Sally taught Ki misunderstandings and even hostility can occur for chil-
how to put on his shoes today! She was a very good dren, families, and teachers (Delpit 1995; Noel 2000). Sam
teacher” or “I appreciate Ricky’s sense of humor. He al- and Imelda are experiencing problems with procedural
ways makes us smile!” kinds of rules. Jason needs to support this family in a
positive way without crossing professional and personal
boundaries. There may be resources to which he can
Rules direct them.
Jason teaches a toddlers’ class. Soon after parents Sam and
Jason must be very careful in how he responds; he is
Imelda met at a party, they began sharing rides and helping each
not a counselor. Is this a simple issue, or is it one in which
other out on weekends. The relationship blossomed into some-
the family may need outside help? Jason can share his
thing more than two single parents sharing the trials and tribula-
experience—that he and his wife found it helpful to talk to
tions of their two-year-olds. The two families have recently joined
their priest, and that the center resource director has a
together as one.
list of local counse-
As the assistant director, Jason needs to
lors that other
find out which families need child care over
families have used
an upcoming holiday. When he broaches
in the past. On a
the subject with Sam and Imelda, he detects
practical level he
a stony silence. Finally Sam says, “I
can acknowledge
thought it would be nice for our first
the importance of
holiday to go away together with the
bringing both
children. My uncle has offered the use of
familiar rituals to
his house in the mountains.” Imelda chimes
the new family as
in quickly, “But I’ve always spent the
well as new
holidays with my family here in town. It’s
experiences that
just expected that everybody will be there.
will bond the
If someone doesn’t, they hear about it for
members together.
years.”
He can encourage
Jason remembers a huge fight with his
Sam and Imelda to
wife the first year after they became
keep talking and
parents. It was about when to open
listening to each
Christmas presents. He understands Sam
other so that they
and Imelda’s dilemma, but he isn’t sure how
can determine what
to support them as a new family.
is important to
each of them.
Rules are sets of standards, laws,
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If conferences with the family don’t illicit a response that negative. Emotional quality is related to beliefs about
allows Nancy to address the change in their behavior, she children and families. To determine the climate of a family
may choose to directly state her concern that she has system, consider the answers to the following questions:
offended them in some way. She may ask for their help in What would it feel like to be a child in this family? Would I
understanding so that she will not repeat her mistake and feel safe, secure, loved, encouraged, and supported? Or
stress how much she values and respects the family as would I feel scared, fearful, angry, hated, and unhappy?
part of her classroom. She may communicate to them how
vital they are to the success of the program and especially Ideas for working with families—Climate
to their children. She may also ask if they have a need that
she has failed to address. 1. Provide opportunities for families to discuss their
beliefs about children, what they want for their children,
Ideas for working with families—Hierarchy and how they support their children’s development. Staff
can facilitate at the events. These discussions help teach-
1. Engage in careful and keen observation. “Family ers learn how they can best support families as the fami-
watching” is essential. Who signs the permission forms? lies support their children (Delpit 1995; Garcia 2001). An
Who returns the phone call? How does the child role-play additional benefit is that families often value information
his family members in dramatic play? Does a youngster and advice from their peers more than through a lecture
assume that a male teacher is the boss of the female on good
teachers? While answers to these parenting.
questions are not always indicative
of hierarchy, they may offer clues.
Climate is about 2. Create a
classroom
2. Note the signs that a family’s the emotional and climate of
hierarchy is in the process of physical environments safety, posi-
changing. Be aware that children tive feedback
can respond by testing hierarchy in a child grows up in. and guide-
the classroom. A child who often lines, and
leads at school may appear lost or healthy sen-
unsure of herself as a new step- sory experiences. Even
brother takes her place “in charge” if home environments do
of younger siblings. Help her to not offer these (or espe-
reclaim her confidence through cially!), children need to
activities that allow her to experi- feel school is a wonder-
ence success. ful place to be.
3. Watch out for hierarchies
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