Chapter 4: Dialogic Communication

I. What is dialogue:
A. Style of communication that involves…
i. Respecting others
ii. Encouraging others to listen
iii. Listening in a way that encourages others to speak
B. Four key parts to dialogue
i. Civility: treating people with respect with the goal of having a peaceful
exchange.
a. Politeness: demonstrated through good manners (or polite
behaviors) based on context.
b. Respect for others: acknowledging another person’s inherent
dignity, their presence and their ideas.
c. Respect for self: respecting our own ideas in interactions with
others (being assertive not aggressive).
ii. Presentness: commitment to the conversation
iii. Unconditional Positive Regard: expecting good in others
iv. Mutual Equality: all those in the communication are regarded as of equal
value.
II. What is not dialogue:
A. Monologue: a style of communication where only one voice is respected (works
well when there needs to be one directive, like in the military).
B. Debate: competitive form of communication; critically listen with a goal to
defeat the opponent.
III. Attitudes necessary for dialogue:
A. Open-mindedness: listening without judgment, taking into account that others
may have ideas as good, or better, than our own.
B. Genuineness: keeping your contribution true, honest, and direct (like when
apologizing).
C. Sensitivity: caring how your message may affect others.
i. Sensitive: understanding and respecting diversity.
D. Agreeableness: giving yourself a chance to agree with the other; emphasize
those points of agreement.
i. Agreeable: remaining open to the idea that you might agree with
someone.
E. Ethical integrity: applying our values (sense of fairness) to situations.
i. Morality: inner sense of right and wrong.
ii. Integrity: consistent application of our values in every situation.
IV. Dialogic behaviors – used to create a supportive communication climate.
A. Separate facts from interpretations: using qualifiers at the beginning of
statements such as “I believe…” so that others know you are stating your
interpretation of a fact. This helps bridge the perceptual gap.
B. Ask clarifying questions: a tool to seek information without implying judgement
(Example “can’t you see how that job is beneath you” versus “what new
responsibilities will you have in this position?”.
C. Allow others to speak fully: avoid finishing someone’s statement when you think
you know where it is going; putting your own desire to speak aside.
D. Take notes: a strategy used to keep from interrupting every time you have a
comment or question.
E. Give complete attention: be fully present and express interest in what is being
said.
F. Own your own statements: involves using “I” language instead of “you” language
(Example: “you are a liar” versus “I need more convincing”).