Like The First Time

Sometimes I'd like to have a button to erase my memory. Something

like a restart button, so I could clean my head, so I could erase my
memories, so I could restart my mind.

That way, I could live the same experiences over and over again. I
could get a little taste of the good moments, but without getting
completely bored by them.

To recreate that feeling of both, pleasure and confusion, that occurs

at the same time, when we just don't know how to react and say the first
thing that comes to our minds. That moment when we discover something
truly amazing. That indescribable feeling that not even nostalgia can
surpass.

A feeling extremely hard to find and that I'd like to keep forever, but
sadly, gratitude nowadays seems to disappear with time and monotony,
leaving only a sense of an empty routine.

Isn't amazing how something that great —for more impressive and
unique that it could be— always ends up turning into something so simple,
so vague and so boring, even to the same eyes that once saw it from a
different perspective?

I wish I could also erase the pain and hide the fear that have left a
mark within myself, those not so satisfying memories I once had. Those
moments that despite being full of grace and joy at first, always left that
bitter taste in my mouth and that it could've been better if I had lived
them only halfway.

Moments we're afraid of knowing how and when they'd end. Those
moments we don't want to end, although we know we'll have to let them
go when the time's right. It's inescapable.

Those are the moments I would like to have the chance to live again.
To repeat them regardless of the outcome. And that way, I could just enjoy
life, I could just enjoy present.

Just at that very moment, I wish I could push my restart button,

and simply begin from scratch, feeling every moment… like the first time.

Hooseh