Karmic Hearts (Completed - Taglish) PDF

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TITLE: Karmic Hearts (COMPLETED - Taglish)
LENGTH: 398
DATE: Jul 09, 2013
VOTE COUNT: 3075
READ COUNT: 342903
COMMENT COUNT: 192
LANGUAGE: Filipino
AUTHOR: JhingBautista
COMPLETED: 1
RATING: 3
MODIFY DATE: 2013-09-03 16:36:47
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Prologue
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Fairy Tales.
Mr. Right.
Happy Endings.
Shooting Stars.
Magic.
Serendipity.
Destiny.
I was a non-believer. I was the biggest skeptic. For me, these things were illogical, irrational and
impossible. But one day, everything changed. With just one wish upon an old well on the night of
Valentine's, my life was turned upside down.
I wished for magic... and I got just that.
And more.
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Chapter 1: Cupid
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I woke up feeling groggy and slurred. Nakailang inom ba ako kagabi? Ugh. Kailangan ko na talagang
tigilan ang pag-inum-inom na yan kase alam ko namang hindi ko kaya. Kahit pa sabihing kasal ng pinsan
ko, hindi pa rin sapat na dahilan yun para magpakalunod ako sa alak. Hindi naman kaya ng katawan ko.
Kasal ng pinsan kong si Ate Jen kahapon. Isinakto pa nilang Valentine's Day. Ayun, umulan ng mga
puso. Tapos nagsiuwian pa yung iba naming mga kamag-anak kaya parang nag-reunion na rin kami.
Sa ancestral house ng mga lolo namin ginanap ang reception. Iyon ang pinakamalaking bahay sa San
Martin, probinsya namin. It can accommodate all of us. Ekta-ektarya ang lawak ng lupain nina lolo
kaya naman parang may pyesta kahapon dito sa lugar namin.
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Umuwi galing ibang bansa yung ilan naming kamag-anak. Yung ibang katulad ko na nagtatrabaho rin sa
Maynila ay umuwi noong isang araw.
Limang baka at sampung baboy ang nilitson. Bukod pa roon, daan-daang mga manok at isda ang niluto.
Sobrang daming tao ang nakigulo at nakisaya. Halos buong bayan nga yata.
Paano ba naman kase, anak ni Mayor ang ikinasal sa pinsan ko na galing lang naman sa isa sa mga
pinaka-maimpluwensyang angkan dito sa amin.
"Mina? Gising ka na ba?" narinig kong tanong ni nanay mula sa labas ng kwarto ko.
I grunted loudly. "Nanay! Hindi ako makabangon! Ang sakit ng ulo ko..."
Binuksan ni nanay ang pintuan ng kwarto ko at napailing sa ayos ko. I was struggling out of bed,
getting tangled in my three blankets. Yes, three. Malamig dito sa amin lalo na kapag buwan ng
Pebrero. Tapos nasira pa yung heater kagabi. Hindi na naayos dahil mga lasing na ang mag-aayos kaya
inilabas na lang lahat ng kumot.
Mabuti na lamang at marami kaming kumot.
Itong bahay namin ang ginagamit sa mga reunion ng pamilya kaya bawal na bawal itong ibenta. Kabilin-
bilinan ng lolo ko, pwedeng tumira kahit sino dito basta 'wag lang pababayaan ang bahay.
Kaya heto, maganda pa rin ito kahit ilang dekada na ang lumilipas mula ng maitayo ito.
"Ikaw kasing bata ka, sinabi ko na sa 'yo na 'wag kang iinom ng marami dahil hindi mo naman kaya,"
pangaral ng nanay ko.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Nay, alangan namang tanggihan ko ang mga pinsan ko? Alam mo namang ngayon
lang ulit kami nagkita-kita," pagdadahilan ko sa kanya.
May mga kamag-anak akong halos sampung taon ko ng hindi nakikita. Talagang nagpumilit lang kaming
magsiuwi dahil ayaw makasal ni Ate Jen hanggat hindi kami kumpletong magpipinsan. Si Kuya Junjun nga
galing pang Canada. Nag-leave pa ito ng isang linggo sa trabaho para lang makauwi ng Pilipinas at
maka-attend ng kasal.
"Hmm, sya sige na. Bumangon ka nya dyan at naghanda sila ng malaking picnic sa harapan ng bahay."
Kagaya nga ng sabi ko, ekta-ektarya ang lawak ng bahay. Pagkapasok ng gate ay maglalakad ka pa ng
mahigit kalahating kilometro bago makarating sa main house. Pero mas malawak naman ang likuran dahil
may manggahan pa doon.
Itinaas ko ang pareho kong kamay para hilahin ni nanay. Gawain ko iyon simula bata. Kapag tinatamad
akong bumangon, nagpapahila ako sa kanya patayo. Umiiling na lumapit si nanay at hinawakan ang
tigkabila kong braso.
Napakunot ang noo ko nang may mapansin ako.
"Mom, what's the red string for?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Bumakas sa mukha ni nanay ang pagkalito. "Ha? Ano'ng red string? Nasaan?" pabalik niyang tanong.
"Ayan oh, sa ring finger mo." Itinuro ko yung palasingsingan nya. It looks like the red string was
knotted there.
Bumitaw si nanay sa mga braso ko at ineksamin ang mga daliri niya. "Wala naman ah? Lasing ka pa ba?"
Umiling ako. Sa kaiiling ko, bigla tuloy akong nahilo. Hinila ko ang kaliwang kamay ni nanay at
tinitigan ko ng malapitan ang palasingsingan nya. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang may ma-realize ako.
"Oh my God nay! It's coming out of your finger!"
Akala ko noong una ay nakatali lang iyon sa daliri ni nanay. Nang matitigan kong mabuti, napansin ko
na lumalabas iyon sa dulo ng palasingsingan niya.
Pinalis ni nanay ang kamay ko. "Tama na ang kalokohan Karmina. Bumangon ka na! Hinahanap ka na ng mga
pinsan mo."
Tumayo si nanay mula sa kama at saka sya lumabas ng kwarto ko. Teka, ano ba yung nakita ko? Hindi ako
pwedeng magkamali eh. Lumalabas yung pulang tali sa daliri ni nanay.
Pero baka naman lasing pa rin ako?
Parang mas convincing nga na lasing pa rin ako. Lasing pa nga yata ako.
--
Pagkatapos kong maligo, lumabas na ako ng bahay. Nandoon sila sa hindi kalayuan, may isang malaking-
malaking tolda na nakatayo. Nakaupo sila sa mga nakalatag na banig. Ang mga pagkain ay nasa
customized na lamesa na yari sa Narra. Mahaba syang mesa na yari sa katawan ng puno. Hatiin mo yung
puno sa gitna, flat surface facing up. Tapos may maliliit na tukod.
Halos nakatanim na iyon doon sa harapan ng bahay dahil hindi mabuhat kung saan. Kailangan yata ng
bente kataong malalakas para mabuhat iyon.
Lumakad ako palapit sa kanila pero napatigil rin ako pagkatapos ng ilang hakbang nang may mapansin
ako. Red strings. Red strings everywhere!
Bakit parang walang nakakapansin? Ni hindi man lang sila natatalapid ng mga taling yun?
Ang nakakamangha pa, may ibang magkakadugtong at parang umiilaw. Yung kina nanay at tatay,
magkadugtong. Meron din namang iba na parang nagpi-fade kapag medyo malayo sa daliri.
I looked down on my hands. No strings. Bakit ganito? Ano'ng nangyayari?
"Scared?" I heard someone ask. Napalingon ako sa likuran ko. Isang lalaking sobrang gwapo ang
palapit. Nakapamulsa siya habang naglalakad palapit sa akin.
He was wearing a brown fedora hat over his curly, brown hair na parang nagiging kulay ginto kapag
natatamaan ng araw. He was a bit tanned. Mukha syang supermodel sa tindig niya. Tingin ko ay
matangkad sya sa 'kin ng ilang inches.
His eyes, which have the color of dark chocolate, were twinkling. Matangos ang ilong niya saka
chiseled ang mukha. He has a few stubbles on his chin.
Naka-black pants siya tapos light blue long-sleeved polo shirt na napapailaliman ng navy blue na
vest.
"Sino ka?" tanong ko sa kanya. There's no way in hell na hindi ko sya mapapansin. Sobrang gwapo nya.
Matikas ang tindig. As in... nakakalaway ang kagwapuhan. Imposible namang pinsan ko 'to? May pinsan
ba akong ganito kagwapo?
"Mina, right?" he asked. I nodded. He held out his hand. "I'm Cupid," sabi nya sabay ngiti.
Wow, may dimples pa sya!
Teka-did he say...
"Cupid?" Medyo natawa ako sa pangalan nya. Cupid? Sino namang magulang ang magpapangalan sa anak nila
ng Cupid? Parang hindi uso.
"The one and only."
I raised one eyebrow at him. "And your last name is?"
He shrugged. "Just Cupid."
Nantitrip ba sya? Pero sabagay, dahil gwapo si kuya, sasakyan ko na lang ang trip nya.
"Okay Cupid, can you explain to me what's happening here? What are all those strings and why aren't
they freaking out? Ako lang ba ang nakakakita sa mga yun?"
He didn't answer any of my questions. Instead, tinalikuran nya ako at naglakad sya palayo. Nang mga
ilang metro na ang layo nya, he turned around and motioned me to follow him.
I didn't even hesitate. Sumunod agad ako sa kanya.
Naglakad kami ng naglakad hanggang sa makarating kami sa pinakang-likuran ng lupain namin. Nalampasan
na namin kanina yung kulungan ng mga alaga naming manok at baboy. Pati yung manggahan.
Tumigil lamang sya sa paglalakad nang makarating kami sa may lumang balon.
"Ano'ng ginagawa natin dito?"
"I'm going to kill you and throw your body down that well," sagot nya sa baritonong boses. Pakiramdam
ko'y nagsitayuan lahat ng palahibo ko sa batok. Tatakbo na sana ako nang bigla syang tumawa. "Relax,
I'm just kidding."
"You're not funny!"
He held up his hand. "Sorry."
Lumapit sya sa balon at dumungaw. "Can you remember anything from last night?" Umiling ako.
"Nothing?" He raised an eyebrow. "Not even a drunken wish?"
Kumunot ang noo ko. "What drunken wish?"
Pinalapit nya ako sa balon. "Last night, you were drinking with your cousins. I was there. I was
watching all of you. Nakakatuwa nga ang mga usapan nyo. Una, urban legends. And then you shifted to
cars and then mga past means of transportations. Hanggang sa napunta sa mga engkanto at aswang ang
usapan nyo. Then a star fell and someone saw it.
Your topic then shifted to shooting stars and wishes. And then someone from your group told a story
about this old wishing well. Napagkasunduan nyong magpipinsan na pumunta rito at mag-wish.
I listened to your every wish. Kada isang hiling, isang barya ang naitatapon sa balon. No wish caught
my interest except yours."
Ngumiti sya sa akin pagkasabi noon.
"Bakit? Ano ba ang hiniling ko?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"You wished for magic. Sabi mo, gusto mong makakita ng magic na makakapagpabago ng pananaw mo sa
buhay. You wished for magic that would make you want the illogical, irrational and impossible things.
And I know exactly what kind of magic is suited for your wish."
Kumunot ang noo ko.
"What?"
He grinned from ear to ear as if I've asked the most wonderful question in the world.
"The magic of love, Karmina. The magic of love."

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Chapter 2: The Task
####################################
"Mina! Kanina ka pa namin hinahanap!"
Nakita kong papalapit sa amin sina Ate Aly at Kuya Sic. Kuya ko si Kuya Sic. Best friend naman niya
si Ate Aly.
"Kumakain na sila dun. Tara na!" aya sa 'min ni Kuya Sic.
Nilingon ko si Cupid. "Kakain kami, sama ka?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Sino'ng kausap mo?" kunot-noong tanong ni Ate Aly.
Napamulagat ako sa kanya. Seryoso? Ganun kagwapo hindi nya makita? Pero sabagay, tomboyin si Ate Aly.
Hindi talaga namamansin o tumitingin man lang sa ibang lalaki yan.
Isa lang naman kase ang nakikita ng mata nya-si Kuya Sic. Ang kuya kong manhid.
"Bago kong kakilala Ate, si Cupid."
"Hoy Mina 'wag ka ngang magbiro ng ganyan. Tara na at kumain," sabi ni Kuya Sic. I sensed irritation
in his voice.
"Uy 'wag naman kayong ganyan-"
"They can't see me," sabat naman ni Cupid.
Nilingon ko sya. "What do you mean they can't see you?"
Bigla akong hinatak ni Ate Aly. "Haynako Karmina, 'wag mo nga kaming takutin! Tara na!" kinaladkad
nila akong dalawa pabalik sa harapan ng bahay.
Kinakabahan ako sa mga sinasabi nila. Bakit hindi nila siya makita? Multo ba sya?
Kinikilabutan yata ako.
--
Naupo ako sa may sulok ng tolda. Kasama kong nakaupo sa banig sina kuya Sic. Nagpapalakihan sila ng
kain ni Ate Aly. Pareho silang matakaw. Kaya nagkakasundo sila eh.
Hinampas ni Kuya yung cap ni Ate Aly. Ayun, nalaglag tuloy sa kinakain nito. Nagtawanan naman ang mga
nakakita. Syempre, hindi magpapatalo si Ate Aly. Sinupalpalan nya ng malaking sugpo si Kuya Sic sa
bibig. Hindi pa nakuntento, tinapalan pa ni Ate Aly ng isang kamaong kanin ang bibig ni Kuya Sic
hanggang sa mabilaukan ito.
To finish the act, she poured a glass of water and handed it to him. Kaso bago pa man makuha ni Kuya
yung baso, naiurong na ni Ate Aly ang kamay niya at saka ibinuhos kay Kuya yung tubig. Tapos ay saka
tumakbo palayo si Ate.
Kinuha naman ni Kuya Sic yung pitsel tapos hinabol-habol si Ate Aly.
We all cheered for Ate Aly. Kaso ay naabutan din ito ni Kuya sa may puno ng santol. Napasigaw ng
malakas si Ate Aly nang buhusan siya ng nagyeyelong tubig ni Kuya. Family friend namin si Ate Aly.
Halos buong buhay nila ni Kuya, magkaibigan na sila. Kaya ang labas ni Ate Aly? Tomboy.
"Sweet naman."
Pagtingin ko sa kaliwa ko, nakaupo na sa tabi ko si Cupid, nakikinuod din sa mga kuya ko.
"Pano ka napunta dyan?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Huh? Kanina pa ako rito Mina," sagot naman ng Tito Aaron ko.
"Ah... Sorry po Tito, di ko po kayo napansin," sabi ko na lang sa tito ko.
Pinandilatan ko si Cupid. Paano kaya 'to? Hindi ko sya pwedeng kausapin dahil baka mag-freak out
sila. Worse, baka isipin nilang nababaliw na 'ko.
Kinuha ko yung paper plate na may lamang pagkain at sinenyasan ko syang sumunod sa 'kin. Naglakad
kami papunta sa hammock na nasa tagiliran ng bahay.
"I don't understand. Why can't they see you?" kunot-noo kong tanong sa kanya.
Naupo ako sa hammock. Tumabi naman sya sa 'kin. He also took one slice of Indian mango from my plate
and ate it. So imposibleng multo sya. Ghosts can't eat, right?
"You're the only one who can see me," sagot nya.
"Why?"
"Because you don't have that connecting string." Ipinakita nya sa 'kin ang mga kamay nya. No strings,
just like me. "You're an oddity like me. A matchmaker."
"A what?!" Did he just say... matchmaker?
He gave me a lopsided grin. "Listen, you wished for magic. I granted you your wish. Nagkataon lang na
medyo nagsasawa na ako sa trabaho ko kaya ikaw na muna ang magtuloy."
"Are you nuts?! I can't do that!"
"Of course you can. Madali lang naman eh," he assured me.
"If it's so easy, why do your arrows always miss?" Sabi nga sa kanta, pahamak yang si Kupido, hindi
naman asintado. Kung madali lang pala ang gawain nya, eh di sana wala ng babaeng umiiyak o lalaking
nagdurusa ngayon dahil sa pag-ibig na yan.
He rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault and I don't use arrows, okay? At kung gagamit lang din naman
ako ng pana, siguradong asintado na. Kaya lang, hindi dahil sa mga sumasalang pana kaya maraming sawi
ngayon.
I always point them at the right direction you know. People are just too stubborn to mind the signs.
Kapag ayaw nila, kahit nakatadhana na para sa kanila, hindi nila tinatanggap. And the result was
devastation."
"What do you mean?"
"Let me ask you a question Mina. Do you believe in soul mates?"
Umiling ako.
"How about fate? Destiny? Kismet?"
"No. I don't believe in those," sagot ko sabay subo ng isang inihaw.
"Paano kung sabihin ko sa 'yo na totoo sila?" tanong nya.
Napatawa ako. "Yeah, right."
"Have you seen those strings?" Tumango ako sa tanong nya. "Those strings represent connection. Yung
nakita mo sa parents mo, isa yung patunay na sila talaga ang nakatadhana para sa isa't-isa. When
strings connect and glow, it means true love. Kapag malayo na ang minamahal ng isang tao sa kanya,
the string fades as if the other half is lost.
Maraming beses ko ng itinuturo sa mga tao ang tamang daan patungo sa mga taong mahal nila. Things
like sparks and heavenly signs shouldn't be ignored because that's the only way I could communicate
with their hearts. Kakaunti lang ang nakikinig kaya kakaunti rin ang sumasaya.
Marami sa mga tao ang isip ang pinapairal kapag nagmamahal. They guard themselves up in fear of
getting hurt. Na hindi naman dapat. They shouldn't be afraid. It's part of the process. Kapag ang
isang bagay, hindi mo pinaghirapan... it only means that it's not worth having."
"Seryoso ka ba?" He speaks with so much passion. Kung naniniwala lang ako sa mga bagay na sinasabi
nya, baka naniwala na ako sa kanya.
"I'm dead serious."
"How would they know? They can't see these strings like we do," depensa ko. Kung alam lang sana ng
mga tao, eh di sana ganun na lang yun kadali. Makikita mo agad yung taong nakatadhana para sa 'yo.
"That's what the heart is for Mina. It's not just there to pump up blood in our system. It is used to
find the one who's meant for you. Kailangan lang ng taong makinig sa tibok ng puso nya."
"So you're saying that every one of us has a soul mate then?"
Tumango sya.
"Talaga? Eh bakit mas malaki ang ratio ng mga babae sa lalaki?"
Ngumisi sya sa tanong ko. "Bakit? Sinabi ko bang lalaki at babae lang ang magka-partner?"
"So pwedeng same gender?"
Tumawa sya. "What's so surprising about that?"
"Eh kase di ba sabi ng simbahan-"
"There are things in this world that we refuse to believe in because they go against our beliefs.
That does not mean that they are wrong. As you go on with your matchmaking, you'll meet many kinds of
twisted and tangled connections. May ilan pa nga dyan na sa sarili nila mismo nakadugtong ang tali."
Napamulagat ako sa kanya. "Ano'ng ibig sabihin nun?"
"It means that they are not destined for anyone but God. God is within them so the strings connect to
them."
Okay. He sounds a bit convincing.
"Wow," nasambit ko na lang pagkatapos nyang magpaliwanag.
"I know," he said with a smirk. "Now, let's talk about your task."
"What task?" gulat kong tanong.
He rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Did you even listen? I told you, you are a matchmaker now. You have
to connect people."
"And what if I don't?"
"You will break a lot of hearts," sagot nya.
"Hearts don't break. They're not made of glass."
He laughed at me. "Are you always this cynical?"
"I'm not cynical. I'm just being realistic. And if you're right about that feeling thingy you just
said, then people will know where to find the ones meant for them. They won't need my help."
"And what if they do?"
"Then I won't care," sagot ko.
Naiiling syang tumingin sa akin. "Gusto mo bang magaya ang ibang tao sa Ate Jen mo?"
I gasped. "What about Ate Jen?"
He looked across us. "She married the wrong guy."
"No!" No way! Mahal na mahal ni Ate Jen si Kuya Samuel. How could he be the wrong guy?
Tumango-tango sya. "Tell me then, why did she hesitate?"
Natigilan ako sa tanong nya. Naalala ko kahapon, nung tinanong na ng pari si Ate Jen... napaiyak muna
sya bago sumagot. She couldn't say the word 'I do' without crying. We thought she was just
overwhelmed.
Could it be...
"Who's the right guy then?"
He looked at me, his gaze piercing. "She should have married the best man."
Napatakip ang palad ko sa bibig ko. Si Kuya Kyle... Naging sila ni Ate Jen dati, noong college days
nila. Ang tagal nila noon, apat na taon. Akala naming lahat sila na ang end game. Tapos ay biglang
nakipaghiwalay si Kuya Kyle kay Ate.
They remained friends after but they didn't get back together. Then Kuya Kyle introduced Kuya Samuel
to Ate Jen.
At ngayon nga ay kasal na ang dalawa.
"I gave Kyle more than enough reasons to object but he didn't. He thought that he was doing the right
thing by letting her get married to his best friend. Akala niya ay masaya na si Jen. And Jen was
hoping all along that he would take her away. Pero nandoon lang sila pareho. Parehong nakatayo sa
altar pero hindi para sa isa't isa.
Do you know how frustrating that was for me? I couldn't even stop them from doing a huge mistake.
Matchmakers can't manipulate feelings. All we can do is show them the way. If they don't want to go,
wala na tayong magagawa."
My shoulders slumped.
"I should've wish for this magic earlier. Maybe I could have stopped them."
"Yeah but you wished too late. Pero hindi pa huli para sa iba Mina, you can save a few more souls
from the hurt."
Napabuntong-hininga ako ng malalim. I only wanted a more exciting life. Yung hindi puro routine na
nakakasawa. I thought magic could bring me that.
Tama nga sila, be careful what you wish for.
"What am I to do?"
May kinuha sya sa bulsa niya. Napamulagat na naman ako. Paano nagkasya sa bulsa nya yun? Isang glass
jar na may tin lid at pulang ribbon ang ipinakita nya sa akin.
"You need to fill this jar with six connected hearts."
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"By connecting souls. Connect the hearts and they will be put inside this jar. It can never be
opened. Kahit anong pilit mo, hindi mo ito mabubuksan. Kapag natapos mo na ang misyon mo, kusang
magkakalaman ito."
Iniabot niya iyon sa akin.
"I will give you a year to collect six connecting hearts. Here's the consequence though. If you
failed to collect six connecting hearts, you will remain a matchmaker forever. You will live a lonely
life of being alone, connecting heart strings of other people but feeling empty with your own."
Ibinalik ko sa kanya ang jar.
"Ayoko. Hindi ko gagawin. Sa 'yo na yang trabaho mo. Binabawi ko na ang wish ko."
He smiled at me. "You can't undo your wish. Sa ayaw at sa gusto mo, kailangan mo itong gawin."
Napabuntong-hininga ako ng malalim. "Hindi ko kaya..."
"Wag kang mag-alala, tutulungan kita."
Iniabot niyang muli sa 'kin yung jar. Kinuha ko iyon. Biglang may carvings na lumabas sa lid.
Karmina.
"This is your jar of hearts Mina. Fill it up before a year and everything will get back to normal.
Fail to do so and you will forever be alone."
After saying that, he faded into nothingness.

####################################
Chapter 3: Strangers
####################################
Bumalik na ako sa trabaho ko matapos ang mahaba-habang bakasyon sa probinsya. I am a college

professor by the way. Sa isang sikat na unibersidad sa Pilipinas. Well, part-timer ako to be exact.
Nagsusulat rin ako ng libro on the side. Good thing magka-jive ang subject ko sa sideline ko. I was
teaching Literature.
"Good morning ma'am," bati ng isa kong estudyante.
"Good morning," I replied.
"Good morning ma'am," came a low, manly voice.
Napasapo ako sa dibdib ko sa gulat. "Cupid!"
"Ah ma'am... it's Jason po."
Nginitian ko na lamang ang estudyante na sumagot. Cupid laughed. Inirapan ko naman sya. Pasalamat sya
hindi ko sya makausap.
"Wait, stop walking," bigla nyang utos. Kumunot ang noo ko but I did what he just said. Tumigil ako
sa paglalakad at tumabi. He made me wait and so I did.
Maya-maya'y may isang lalaki ang naglalakad padaan sa harapan namin. Maangas ang dating nito. Naka-
spike pataas ang buhok. May nose ring ito at piercing sa lower lip. Naka-black leather jacket ito
that matches his black tie.
On the opposite direction, I noticed a girl walking. She looks somewhat different from the other
girls. Her aura was different. It was calm and quiet and mysterious. Ordinaryo lamang ang itsura ng
babae. It was a huge contrast from the guy but it seemed right, nevertheless.
Naka-bestida ang babae. Balingkinitan ang katawan nito. Ang mahaba nitong buhok na umaabot halos sa
bewang nito ay nakaipon lahat sa kaliwa nitong balikat na nakatabing sa mukha nito.
I felt Cupid's hands on my shoulder. His mouth was near my ear as he whispered, "Now watch."
Nakita kong biglang nagkunekta ang mga pulang tali na nagmumula sa mga palasingsingan nila. And it
didn't just connect. It glowed. And for a moment, I wanted to close my eyes, scared that I might be
blinded by the light.
Pero panandalian lamang yun. The connection broke nang malampasan nila ang isa't isa. I was about to
look away, thinking na hanggang dun na lamang iyon when Cupid held my head, keeping my gaze on them.
"Hindi pa tapos," sabi niya.
Kumunot ang noo ko but I waited for something more. I saw the girl rub her left arm, na para bang
bigla syang kinilabutan. The guy, on the other hand, turned around and looked at the girl's back.
Kunot ang noo nito. Parang nagtataka.
Nahihiwagaan.
--
I was still thinking about what happened earlier when I went to my class. Natahimik ang klase
pagpasok ko ng silid. Kumuha sila ng kanya-kanyang pwesto at saka nagsiupo.
"Good morning class," bati ko sa kanila. I put my books on the table and watched as Cupid takes his
place at the back of the class. I was mildly surprise nang makita ko yung babae kanina na nakapwesto
sa harapan nya.
Cupid smiled and pointed at someone.
Napataas ang kilay ko nang makita ko yung lalaki na nakaupo naman sa isang sulok. So estudyante ko
sila pareho? I have a terrible habit of forgetting the names and faces of my students. Literature
subject ng third year and fourth year college ang tinuturuan ko. Bale nasa sampung sections sila.
Kaya naman medyo nagkakahalo-halo na sa utak ko ang mga pangalan at mukha ng mga tinuturuan ko.
Ang madalas ko lang maalala eh yung nag-eexcel sa klase ko at yung hindi pala-absent.
I took out the index cards and started the roll call for the attendance.
"Abad, Michelle."
"Present!"
"Abad, Marco."
Nagtaas ng kamay ang kakambal ni Michelle.
"Abrigo, Jenny."
"Present ma'am," sagot ng isang babaeng naka-salamin.
"Adefuin, Larry."
Another student of mine raised a hand.
"Bautista, Marie Krisnel."
Nagtaas ng kamay yung babaeng nakita ko kanina sa hallway. Huh... so her name's Krisnel? Ano kaya
yung name nung guy?
"Cruz, Jasper Lyle." Walang sumagot o nagtaas ng kamay. "Cruz, Jasper Lyle?" pag-uulit ko.
I saw someone kick the chair of the guy from earlier. The guy grunted as he was forced to raise his
hand. Bigla kaming nagkatinginan ni Cupid. I have this weird feeling that he knew what I was thinking
at that moment.
He smiled at me.
Tumigil ako sa pag-a-attendance. "Class, before I continue tumayo muna kayong lahat. We'll have a
seating arrangement from now on."
Marami ang umangal pero hindi ko sila pinakinggan. I have a year to fill the jar he gave me with six
connecting hearts. Anim lamang na pares ang kailangan ko. But I have this feeling in my gut that it
won't be easy.
So I better start early, just in case.
"Jason, please manage the class," sabi ko sa bibo nilang presidente.
"Yes ma'am!" sagot naman nito. Pumunta ito sa unahan at saka inisa ang pangalan ng mga kaklase. He
borrowed the index cards at sya na mismo ang nagpwesto sa mga kaklase.
Makalipas ang ilang minuto, nasa tamang pwesto na silang lahat.
I resumed my place in front of the class and brought out a five-peso coin.
"Can anyone tell me what this is?" tanong ko sa klase.
Someone raised a hand. I called her up. "Ah ma'am, five pesos po?" nag-aalangan nitong sagot.
"Correct. Now tell me, ano ang napapansin mo sa limang pisong hawak ko?"
I saw Cupid squint his eyes, as if he's trying to figure out the answer to my question.
"Bilog po ma'am," sagot ni Jason.
"Kulay gold po," sagot ng isa pa.
"Ma'am bago pa!"
Ngumiti ako sa kanila. "Yes, correct. Anything else?" Tumingin ako kay Krisnel. "How about you Ms.
Bautista?"
Napatingin sa akin si Krisnel. "I-It has two sides ma'am?"
"Very good!" I flipped the coin and showed them the two sides. "This coin has two sides. And for our
activity today, I want you to pair up. Each pair will be given a word. You will then explain to me
the positive and negative side of this word."
Nagsimula nang umingay ng mag-usap-usap na ang magkakaibigan para sila ang maging magkakapares. Pero
syempre, hindi yun ang plano ko. I have a pair to match.
Binigyan ko silang lahat ng kapareha using the seating arrangement. Kailangang magkapartner ang una
kong pair... para masaya. I then assigned them all with the words they would use for tomorrow's
reporting. Saka ko sila hinayaang mag-usap-usap.
--
Halos lahat ay abala na sa pagpapalitan ng ideya maliban sa dalawa. Magkaharapan sila sa isang sulok.
Nakatungo si Krisnel sa notebook nya habang si Jasper naman ay nakapangalumbaba habang nakatingin sa
pader.
Naiiling akong lumapit sa kanila.
"Guys, may nagawa na ba kayo?" tanong ko sa kanila.
Saka lang sila gumalaw nung lumapit ako. Kumuha si Krisnel ng notebook at saka nagsulat. Jasper did
the same.
"Sa 'kin ang negative," sabi nito.
"O-Okay," sagot naman nitong si Krisnel. Pagkatapos noon, nakatuon na silang pareho sa pagsusulat.
Weird. Paano sila magkakatuluyan kung hindi sila nag-uusap?
"Ay hindi ganyan guys! You need to communicate. Exchange ideas! Hindi pwede yang ganyang-" Napatigil
ako pagsasalita nang bigla akong hawakan ni Cupid sa tigkabilang balikat at itulak palayo sa kanila.
"You've done enough. Hayaan mo na sila," sabi nya.
"But-"
He pushed me to the chair. "Watch," he whispered.
Krisnel was busily writing away on her notebook. Si Jasper... he was looking intently at her. Kunot
pa rin ang noo nito na para bang... nagtataka. And then I saw it. The strings connected. At hindi
lang yun. Parang may kung anumang liwanag na nanggaling sa palasingsingan nilang dalawa.
The strings glowed from both ends. Ang galing lang... para itong tumutulay papagitna.
The same time na nagkunekta yung mga liwanag sa gitna, tumunghay si Krisnel at nagkasalubong sila ng
tingin.
I swear, everything seemed to have happened in slow motion. It was... overwhelming. Sobrang lakas ng
dating nung connection, halos maluha ako.
"The first time the heart connects is the most powerful bond you'll ever see in a couple. It's like
the universe has been realigned. Basta-mahirap ipaliwanag."
"Are they feeling it?" I asked in a hushed tone.
"Why don't you see for yourself?"
And so I did. Nakita kong namula si Krisnel at saka tumungong muli. Nag-iwas rin ng tingin si Jasper
but he was-wait... he was smirking? First time ko syang makitang ngumiti simula kanina.
He was looking like he would die of boredom kanina tapos ngayon, nakangiti sya? Ang cute cute pala ng
batang yun. He should smile more often.
And Krisnel could use color on her face. Masyado syang plain, sayang ang ganda.
I brought out the jar to see kung may laman na ito. Nadismaya ako kase wala pa. Their hearts did
connect, right? Why is there no heart on this jar?
"It's more complicated than that, Mina," he said, as if he could read my mind.
"Why? Ano pa ba ang dapat kong gawin?" I asked in impatience.
"You have to make them confess. Love is not enough to sustain the connection. They should also have
devotion and commitment. Ang taling hindi matibay, madaling napuputol, tama?"
I grunted. Kailangan ko na talagang pagbutihan ang matchmaking skills ko. Pero ano naman ang gagawin
ko? I can't just ask them to confess, right? I mean, the feeling has to be genuine.
Pero genuine naman kapag sa kanila galing tama? But how will they know? Ugh... ngayon pa lang
nahihirapan na 'ko.
First task. First task pa lang. Ayokong pumalya. Basta... gagawan ko 'to ng paraan.
####################################
Chapter 4: The Two Sides of Lies
####################################
Kinabukasan...
The class seemed to be so eager to start so nagsimula na kami sa lesson namin. The first group's word
was heaven. The two sides given were if it's true or not. Sa huli, nagkasundo sa isang bagay ang
kambal. Dahil kambal sila at halos parehong mag-isip, madali silang nagkaroon ng common ground. The
argument was settled in an instant.
The next group's word was lie. Jasper and Krisnel stood up from their seats and went in front of the
class with papers in hand.
Krisnel was the one who spoke first. "Lie. What a treacherous word. Marami ang nasasaktan sa
kasinungalingan but we have to remember that there is also a good side to it."
"Good side?" kunot-noong tanong ni Jasper. "Kailan pa naging mabuti ang pagsisinungaling?"
"When people are not ready to tell the truth, they lie. They lie to protect someone or something.
Protecting is a good reason to lie, tama?" pabalik na tanong ni Krisnel.
"Lie is still a lie no matter what reason is behind it. Isipin mo nga, kung wrong spelling wrong,
kapag nagkamali ka ba ng spelling sa quiz, considered as correct pa yun?" Jasper asked.
Humugot ng malalim na hininga si Krisnel saka ito muling nagsalita. "There are exemptions-"
"Exemptions?" Jasper scoffed.
"There is an exemption to every rule."
Sumandal si Jasper sa lamesa ko. "Is there a rule in lying?"
"I-I'm sure there is."
Jasper raised an eyebrow. He crossed his arms too. In his eyes, I see disbelief. "If there is such a
rule in lying, eh di sana hindi ito considered as bad? Sana walang galit sa taong sinungaling, di ba?
I'm sorry. I'd like to believe that you're smart but sometimes you choose the wrong things to believe
in."
Napamaang ako sa kanilang dalawa. Teka, bakit nagiging personal na ata ang pagtatalo nila?
"Why are you acting so prude? Have you never lied to anyone in your life?"
"Hindi ko sinabing hindi ako nagsisinungaling. Ang sinasabi ko lang, hindi tama ang magsinungaling."
"Pero bakit mo ginagawa?" Krisnel's question surprised everyone in the room, including me and Cupid.
"Because I have to," sagot ni Jasper ng nakaiwas ng tingin.
"Why do you have to?" dagdag na tanong ni Krisnel.
Nagkatinginan silang dalawa. One looks like he was trying to remember the reason behind his answer,
the other one seemed to be amuse how she turned the situation to her advantage.
And I am thouroughly entertained.
"Dahil masasaktan ko ang mga taong mahal ko kapag nalaman nila ang totoo."
"Don't you think na mas masasaktan sila kapag nalaman nilang nagsisinungaling ka lang?"
Nag-iwas ng tingin si Jasper. "I'm doing this for them," sagot nito na waring may pinaghuhugutan.
"Then... is it okay to lie if your intentions are good?" tanong muli ni Krisnel. She gave him a tight
smile.
I saw Jasper's aura darken. Wait-I saw his aura? Woah. Ano na naman ba 'to? Akala ko ba matchmaker
ako? Weren't the red strings enough?
"Fine. You won. Happy?" he said grimly. He threw his paper on the floor then he stormed out of the
room.
"Mr. Cruz!" habol ko sa kanya. But he was gone. Krisnel looked like she was about to cry. I asked her
to sit as I looked helplessly at Cupid.
He smiled as he snapped his finger. Then, everything fell quiet. Not even a sound was heard. It's as
if... time froze.
"Ano'ng ginawa mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"It's within my power to freeze time in my own frame. What this means is that, I can freeze time as I
see it pero sa mata ng iba, tuloy-tuloy ang oras. This allows me to be in other places where I'm more
needed. As a matchmaker, you also would be able to do this."
Napaturo ako sa sarili ko. "M-Me?"
Tumango sya. "Yes, you. But not today. You can only do this once you've completed your mission. That
is, if you are still a matchmaker by then."
Well, that was a bit of a let down. "Why did you freeze time?"
"Come with me," he said.
Once again, I followed him somewhere. Lumabas kami ng classroom and kept on walking. I was marvelling
on the way. Amazed how I can see people caught in the moment... literally. Meron na halfway in the
middle of biting into a sandwich. One was about to punch someone. A couple was kissing.
I was still a bit freaked out seeing all those strings connecting and fading as soul mates get closer
to each other then moving on as if they have thought nothing of it. Na totoo naman dahil hindi talaga
nila naiisip yun.
Minsan nangangatalapid o nababangga ako kakaiwas ko sa mga iyon.
"Mina, keep up! This will only last for a few minutes!" he called out.
Nagdali-dali akong sumunod sa kanya.
Nakarating kami sa area ng CIT department. Sa lugar kung saan allowed ang mga estudyanteng tumambay
para mag-aral, nakita ko si Jasper na nakaupo, naninigarilyo. And I wondered in an instant why he
could move.
"I guess you're wondering why he's not frozen in time. Well, as matchmakers, we sometimes have to
know what our prospects are thinking. Nakakatulong ito para malaman natin kung paano natin sila
ilalapit sa mga taong nakatadhana para sa kanila. Kaya hindi natin sila isinasama sa warp na ginagawa
natin," paliwanag ni Cupid.
"Hindi ba mas madali ang trabaho if we could just get a glimpse of what they're thinking?"
At that, he snapped at me. "No!" Napapitlag ako sa halos ay pasigaw niyang pagtutol. He realized that
kaya mas naging malumanay ang mga sumunod niyang pagpapaliwanag. "Mina, you can never do that.
Looking into people's thoughts is violating the very right God had given to us-free will. If you get
access to a person's mind, you will also have access to manipulate or alter their thoughts. It's full
access or none Mina and it's very dangerous. If people lost control of their will, then they are not
human anymore but puppets. And God would never allow that to happen."
Tumango-tango ako. "I understand." Itinuro ko ang nakatalikod na si Jasper. "Should I talk to him?"
"No," pigil niya. "You should never talk to the prospect or mess with anything frozen in this time
warp. Maaaring magulo mo ang nangyayari sa kasalukuyan. If the course of life was changed because of
this, maaaring makasira ka ng buhay ng ibang tao. I hope you won't take this too lightly Mina."
"I won't," I assured him. I really won't. Besides, what do I know of these things to meddle with it?
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to watch and listen to everything your prospect is saying. That way, you'll know what
he's thinking without looking into his thoughts. Para wala kang nalalabag na rules."
"Okay."
But Jasper did not say anything. He was just smoking, as if the smoke from his cigarette would ease
out the burden he's carrying. I didn't know that lying would stir so much emotion from him.
Pero ano ang dahilan? That's what I have to find out. Soon.
--
Hindi na kasing boring ng dati ang paglalakad ko pauwi. Walking distance lang ang layo ng studio type
apartment ko sa university na pinapasukan ko. Dalawang kanto lang. Kahit gabing-gabi akong umuwi, I
feel safe because Cupid was there with me.
Nang makarating kami ay agad akong nagtaka ng makita kong bukas ang ilaw sa loob. That's strange...
mag-isa lang ako sa apartment ko ah?
Dali-dali kong binuksan ang pintuan. At nagulat ako sa nakita ko. Sina Ate Aly at Kuya Sic, nasa
kusina... kumakain. Teka, bakit nandito sila?
"Kuya!" bulalas ko sa kanila.
"Oy!" Ngumiti si Kuya habang naglalagay ng kalulutong instant noodles sa pinggan ko. "Kain tayo!"
Lumapit ako sa kanila. Kumpleto sa kwarto ang apartment ko kahit studio type. May isang couch na
pangtatluhang tao sa sala ko. May maliit na TV then may bookshelf na nagsisilbing partition.
Kapag nilampasan ang bookshelf, makikita naman ang dining area na kadikit lang ng kusina. Lakad ka
lang ng kaunti at CR na. And then there's my room. Isang maliit na bed, drawer and then kung anu-
anong kalat lang ang makikita roon.
"Kuya! Ano'ng ginagawa nyo rito?"
"Kumain muna tayo. Gutom na gutom na kami eh. Mamaya na lang namin ikikwento," sagot ni kuya sa 'kin.
Wala na akong nagawa kundi kumain at mag-antay ng paliwanag nilang dalawa. Napansin ko kanina na may
dala-dala silang dalawang malaking maleta. Nagtanan kaya sila? Pero hindi eh. Kung ganun eh di sana
kanina pa naggo-glow yung thread na lumalabas sa mga daliri nila.
Pero hindi eh. Connected sila but the light was barely there on Kuya's end. Kay Ate Aly, halos
nakakasilaw.
Nakakalungkot.
Matagal nang may gusto si Ate Aly kay Kuya. Simula nung high school pa sila. Kaya lang itong si Kuya,
best friend lang ang tingin sa kanya. He never saw her as a love interest, much less a woman.
Pare. Yan ang madalas tawag ni Kuya kay Ate Aly. Mahilig silang maglaro ng basketball at
magpalakasang kumain. But he never saw her as someone more than a friend-a guy friend.
Ang alam ko nga, alam ni Kuya tomboy si Ate Aly. Hindi naman itinatanggi nitong isa kase natatakot
ito na baka kapag sinabi nitong hindi naman talaga ito tomboy eh end of friendship na.
Dati nga, hindi umattend ng Prom si Ate Aly. Nagmumukmok lang ito sa bahay kase hindi ito inaya ni
Kuya. Syempre hindi naman alam ng kuya kong sobrang dense na babae pala si Ate Aly. Kelangan pa
yatang ipagsigawan nito na babae ito para mapansin.
Pero ayun nga, since then, she never made an effort to look feminine.
At ngayon, nandito silang dalawa sa apartment ko, may dalang dalawang malaking maleta at kumakain ng
instant noodles sa maliit kong lamesa.
"Kuya, umamin nga kayo... nagtanan ba kayong dalawa?"
Napatigil silang dalawa sa pagkain at napatingin sa akin. Matapos ang halos isang minutong
pakikipagtitigan sa 'kin, tumawa silang dalawa. Sa sobrang hagalpak pa nga, halos labasan na sila ng
kanin sa ilong.
"Tanan?" tatawa-tawang tanong ni Ate Aly.
"Tangina! Hahaha!"
Sinimangutan ko sila. "Eh bakit ba kase kayo pumunta rito? May dala pa kayong maleta! Tingin nyo, ano
kaya ang unang-una kong iisipin pagkakita ko sa mga bag na yan?!" sermon ko sa kanilang dalawa.
Pinakalma muna nila ang mga sarili sa pagtawa saka sila nagpaliwanag.
"Eh pano kase, itong si Aly nakipag-away dun sa isa naming officemate. Sinuspend tuloy sya nung bisor
namin. Kaso umalma pa, ayun, nag-AWOL na lang sya."
I gaped at Ate Aly. "Ang adik mo ate! Ang ganda-ganda na ng work mo eh!" Binalingan ko si Kuya.
"Ikaw? Bakit ka kasama? Nakipag-away ka rin?"
"Hindi. Tinatamad na ako sa trabaho ko. I need a change of environment," pagdadahilan ni Kuya.
Just then, I saw a spark on his string's end. Spark lang. It didn't go all the way. But I saw Cupid
give me a knowing look.
Could this mean that there is hope that my brother feels something more than friendship with Ate Aly?
--
Kinabukasan, as I headed for my class, I noticed something.
"Cruz, Jasper Lyle," I called out. Nobody answered. Hinanap sya ng mata ko but I don't see him in my
class. Nakita kong yumuko si Krisnel. Mukhang nagi-guilty sya sa nangyari kahapon.
Gusto kong malaman kung ano'ng dahilan kung bakit nagkakaganito si Jasper but how in hell would I do
that kung absent naman sya?
####################################
Chapter 5: Friends?
####################################
The rest of the week went by and still, no Jasper came to my class. Sina Kuya naman, problema ko pa
sa bahay. Since isa lang ang kasya sa kama ko, sa sahig natutulog si Ate Aly using a comforter na
inilalatag na lang. Si Kuya, sa sala natutulog. Arte nya masyado, bumili pa sya ng kutson. At imbes
na kay Ate Aly ipagamit, aba'y sya ang nakikinabang!
Well anyway, sabi nila aalis rin sila kapag nakahanap na sila ng trabaho rito sa Makati. Ewan ko ba
sa dalawang yun. Wala na yata silang balak maghiwalay. They've been together ever since. Same high
school. Same university. Same work pa rin. At ngayon, may balak pa silang magsama sa apartment.
Worse? Walang malisya kay Kuya... dahil hindi pa niya nare-realize na may feelings sya for Ate Aly.
Worst? Hindi ko makausap si Cupid sa bahay dahil palaging nandun sina Kuya. Sa school naman, baka
mapagkamalan akong kulang-kulang kapag nakita nila akong nakikipag-usap sa sarili.
At dahil sa mga dahilang yan, mabagal ang naging progress ko.
But fortunately for me, Tuesday the following week, pumasok na ulit si Jasper. He was still in a foul
mood at mas pinili nitong huwag makipag-usap kahit kanino. He does not even want to answer during
recitation.
Pero hindi ko na sinita, mukhang may problema sya eh.
"Glad you can join the class, Mr. Cruz," nakangiti kong sabi sa kanya. Irapan ba naman ako! Hmp. He
seriously has an attitude problem.
Itinuon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa klase. "For today's lesson, we'll tackle the two kinds of
characters: the protagonist and the antagonist."I wrote both words on the board. "Now, if you are to
choose between these two, what would it be and why?"
Agad na nagtaas ang pinakabibo kong estudyante na si Jason. Tumayo ito saka sumagot. "Gusto ko ma'am
protagonist. Para ako ang bida sa istorya!"
"Ako rin ma'am!" sagot naman ni Franc, isa pa ring bibo. "Gusto ko bida para ako yung pinakasikat sa
kwento."
Nailing na lang ako sa sagot nila. I wrote their answers on the board. "How about you Fatima?"
Tumayo ang class muse. "Protagonist ma'am. They are good and well-loved," sagot nito.
Marco, one of the twins, raised his hand.
"Yes Marco?"
"Ma'am, antagonist po ako. Kapag walang antagonist, walang thrill ang kwento."
"I agree ma'am, kung walang antagonist, siguro wala na ring bida. You can't really recognize the good
if there is no bad," sagot ng kakambal nitong si Michelle.
"Good point. Anyone else?"
Biglang nagtaas ng kamay si Jasper. Not waiting to be called, he stood up and answered, "I'd rather
be the protagonist. Kapag ikaw ang bida, kahit gaano pa man kamiserable o kahirap ang buhay mo sa
una, gaganda pa rin ito sa huli. Antagonists don't have that luxury." Pagkasagot niya ay agad syang
naupo.
Sumunod naman na nagtaas ng kamay si Krisnel.
"Mas gusto ko pong maging kontrabida," she answered. "They are more complicated. They are not just
bad. May dahilan kung bakit ganun sila o kung bakit nila ginawa ang mga ginawa nila.They are more
real and relateable. And oftentimes, they are only the victims of certain situations. Minsan, wala
silang choice kundi magpakasama para sa ikabubuti ng iba. At kahit pa masama ang tingin sa kanila ng
iba, tingin ko sila dapat ang mas iniintindi at binibigyan ng pagmamahal dahil mas kailangan nila
iyon."
Tahimik lamang ang klase sa sagot ni Krisnel. Bihirang-bihira itong magsalita kaya naman talagang
nakakapanibago.
"Thanks for that. Now, let's delve deeper into that topic, shall we?"
--
I went to lunch together with my co-teachers, part-timers and regulars alike. May ipapakilala raw na
bagong teacher sa department namin. It's his first day to teach. Kailangan daw naming i-welcome.
Nagkikwentuhan kaming magkaka-close na teachers nang biglang pumasok ang college dean kasama ang
isang artista. O model siguro? Basta sobrang gwapo.
Kung siguro literal lang na nalalaglag ang panga, baka kanina pa bumagsak yung akin sa sahig. Ang
gwapo nya talaga.
Napangiti ang dean sa reaksyon namin. Tumikhim sya. Ashamed, we closed our mouths.
"Teachers, this is Joseph Marco. Kapalit sya ni Mr. Aranza," pakilala sa kanya ng dean namin. Namilog
ang mga mata ko sa narinig ko. Teacher sya? Seryoso? Kung lahat ng teacher kasing-gwapo nya, baka
wala na'ng aabsent sa school. Ever. "Nasaan si Ms. Cortado?" kunot-noong tanong ni dean nang
mapansing wala sa table yung co-teacher ko.
"Mali-late daw sya ng konti sir," sagot ng katabi ko.
Mali-late? Psh. Wag na kamo syang pumunta. Di naman sya kawalan.
Matagal na akong asar sa Silvia Diana na yan. Masyado kaseng nagmamaganda! Well... fine. Maganda nga
sya. Sa sobrang ganda nya, hindi bumababa sa tatlo ang manliligaw nya. Ngayon nga, meron syang limang
manliligaw na alternately naghahatid-sundo sa kanya.
She doesn't have to ask for anything. Nasa kanya na lahat, binibigyan pa sya ng sobra. Ang unfair
talaga!
'Tsk tsk. Don't let jealousy eat you up Mina.'
Napakunot ang noo ko kay Cupid nang marinig ko ang boses nya. Nagsalita ba sya? Bakit hindi ko naman
nakitang bumukas ang bibig nya?
I saw his mouth form a lopsided grin. 'Surprise!'
'What the hell?' I mouthed. 'Are you reading my mind?'
Tumango sya. 'I can read your thoughts as clear as if you were speaking them.'
'Teka! Akala ko ba labag sa batas yan? What happened to that free will speech of yours?' reklamo ko
sa kanya.
"It applies only to the prospects, Mina. Matchmakers are the exemptions," paliwanag nya. I saw him
slowly disappear into thin air from across the table and then I felt him behind me as he stoop down
to whisper, "This is one way you could communicate with me in case you can't freely open your mouth."
'Why didn't you say this earlier?!'

He chuckled. "It wouldn't be fun communicating like this. Mapapanisan ako ng laway."
'At nagmumukha naman akong tanga kapag kinausap kita ng normal!'
"Okay lang yun. Anyway, who is this Silvia you were so angrily thinking about?"
Just as I was about to answer him, someone opened the door and entered. There stood on the doorway,
the very cause of my angry thoughts. Clad in satin blouse and pencil skirt so tight I could feel her
hips choke was Silvia.
I heard Cupid whistle. "She's hot," he commented.
I rolled my eyes. 'Yeah. Ang hot nya. Sana matusta sya. Leche sya.'
Tumawa si Cupid. "Bakit ba galit na galit ka sa kanya ha?" tanong niya.
'She stole someone from me.'
Pangpitong buwan ko pa lang sa university bilang teacher nang dumating si Silvia. Noong mga panahong
yun, nililigawan ako ng co-teacher kong si Rommel. Gustong-gusto ko si Rommel noon at gustong-gusto
rin nya ako.
But when Silvia came, nawala agad yung pagkagusto nyang yun.
Dumalang na ang pagbibigay nya sa 'kin ng bulaklak. Hindi na nya ako inihahatid pauwi. Hindi na rin
kami nagsasabay mag-lunch.
Tapos isang araw, nagulat na lang ako nang malaman ko na nanliligaw na sya kay Silvia. Ilang linggo
rin akong umiyak dahil dun.
Mabuti na lang hindi sya sinagot. Buti nga sa kanya.
"Silvia, ito nga pala si Joseph Marco. Yung kapalit ni Sir Aranza."
"Hi," nakangiting bati ni Joseph. He reached out and shook her hand.
"Bagay sila," Cupid said.
'Hindi rin,' pag-disagree ko. But what I think does not matter. Bagay nga sila. According to fate...
bagay sila.
--
Nagmumukmok pa rin ako dahil sa nakita ko kanina nang bigla akong mapatigil paglalakad. Napansin kong
walang ibang gumagalaw sa pathway kundi ako.
"Bakit?" takang-tanong ko kay Cupid.
Instead of answering, tumuro sya sa unahan namin. I saw Jasper's back as he walks away. Nakapamulsa
ang kaliwang kamay nito habang hawak-hawak ng isang kamay ang strap ng bag na nakasabit sa kanan
nitong balikat.
May nabunggo syang isang babae na nakaharang sa daan. She was frozen in time and ever so slowly, she
started to fall. I started walking to her to prevent her from falling but Cupid stopped me on track.
"Don't," saway nya sa akin.
"But she's falling!" reklamo ko sa kanya.
"You're not the one who's supposed to catch her. Look."
Ibinaling ko ang atensyon ko sa babaeng hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin bumabagsak sa semento. Near
where she was falling, I saw one guy looking. And I saw something else too.
Their strings are connected.
"Don't mess with the bigger plan Mina. Let things happen."
"Sorry."
He just nodded as if acknowledging my apology. We continued to follow Jasper. Finally, he stopped

near the stairs. Nakaupo roon si Krisnel at kasalukuyang nagbabasa ng libro. Walang sabi-sabi,
tinabihan niya ito.
Nagulat si Krisnel at kunot-noong napatingin kay Jasper. Nang magkasalubong sila ng tingin ay bahagya
itong namula. "M-May kailangan ka ba?"
Itinuon ni Jasper ang mga braso nito sa tigkabila nitong tuhod at saka ito nagsalita, "Yung sinabi mo
tungkol dun sa antagonist, did you really mean that?" tanong nito sa dalaga.
Ngumiti si Krisnel at tumango. "Bakit mo naitanong?"
Jasper shook his head. "Wala naman. Nawiwirduhan lang ako sa 'yo."
Parehas silang napangiti.
"Masaya kayang maging weird," dahilan ni Krisnel.
"Okay," Jasper said with a shrug. "Sabi mo eh."
"Ano, Jasper... yung nung isang araw... sorry nga pala," nahihiyang sabi ni Krisnel sa katabi.
"Okay lang. Sorry rin."
"Friends?" She held out her hand to him.
Tinanggap naman iyon ni Jasper saka ito ngumiti. "Sige. Call me JL, by the way. Nickname ko yun."
Tumango-tango naman si Krisnel.
"In that case, call me Pepay."

####################################
Chapter 6: The Five Stages of Connection
####################################
Wala akong pasok ngayon. That's one of the advantages of being a part-time instructor. Hindi hectic
sa sked. At swerte ko rin dahil naghahanap ng trabaho ngayon sina Ate Aly. So solo ko ang bahay. And
I can speak to Cupid without having been thought of as a freak who speaks to herself.
He doesn't need to eat but he insisted kaya heto, dinamihan ko ang luto ko para makakain sya. We are
currently discussing his favorite topic... love.
"Is it true that love is blind?" I asked him.
He snickered. "Love is not blind. It can't even see," sagot niya.
"Well, metaphorically. Di ba kase, kapag nagmamahal ka, you get love goggles. You often overlook the
flaws of someone you love."
Tumango sya. "Yes."
"Thus the saying."
He shrugged. "How does it feel? Love, I mean," tanong nya sa akin.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Don't tell me hindi ka pa naiinlove?" pabalik kong tanong.
That made him laugh. "I can't fall in love. I know how it's supposed to feel. I know the signs but I
can never feel it. We are beyond that feeling."
"We?"
"Angels."
I gaped at him. "Ikaw? Angel? Nasan ang pakpak mo?"
He smirked at me. "Angels don't necessarily have to have wings to be seen as angels. We roam among
people. We need disguises."
"But you do have wings, right?" He shrugged again. "Can I see?" I've always wanted to see an angel.
"You can't." He took a bite out of the chicken turbo I made then he continued. "I can only release my
wings when I'm in my angelic form. And if I am like that, you still can't see me. Mabubulag ka."
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi nya. "Ha?"
"Humans cannot see us on our true form with their naked eyes. And besides, I can't reveal my true
form now. I'm... on detention."
"Detention?" Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi nya. May detention ang angels? Akala ko mababait sila?
Di ba kapag binibigyan ka ng detention, may ginawa kang mali?
Ngumiti syang muli. "It's something I did not too long ago."
"Ano'ng ginawa mo?"
"I can't say."
I didn't push him. Wala naman siguro sa 'kin kung ano man yung ginawa nya. Saka baka kapag pinilit ko
syang sabihin sa 'kin yun, magalit pa si Lord sa 'kin. Malagay din ako sa detention.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, sinilip ko yung jar ko. Ilang linggo na rin matapos maging magkaibigan sina
Krisnel at Jasper. Ilang linggo ko na ring tinitingnan-tingnan yung jar kung meron na bang connecting
hearts pero... wala pa rin.
"Bakit wala pa ring laman?" dismayado kong tanong sa kanya.
Naupo sya sa gilid ng kama ko. "For the hearts to fully connect, your prospects have to get passed
the five stages of connection."
I sat next to him. "Five stages of connection?"
He nodded. "First stage is awareness. This is where they recognize the presense of the other. Ito
yung tinatawag na spark. Something that will pull them in."
"Kagaya nung nakita natin sa hallway that time?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He nodded again.
"Second stage is realization. People become aware of the other's existence. They become aware of the
feeling pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na alam na nilang yun na yun. Realization takes time. Many have
mistaken love for friendship and it will take a reckoning force to make them realize what the feeling
truly is. Minsan inaabot ng taon. Minsan, huli na bago nila marealize yung feeling. This is a very
crucial stage for us. Kapag hindi nalampasan ng prospects natin ang stage na 'to, then they're a
hopeless case.
Third stage is acknowledgement. Dito, alam na ng prospect kung ano ang nararamdaman niya. He now
needs to acknowledge the feeling. He needs to own it. He needs to embrace it. Ito naman ang
pinakamahirap para sa kanila. Ang tanggapin ang nararamdaman nila. You humans are often scared of
something beautiful. Natatakot kayong masaktan. Kaya wala pa man, pinipigilan nyo ng dumating.
Fourth stage is confession. Dito naman kayo madalas na takot. Ang umamin. You are afraid that
something so special would not be reciprocated. So you tend to hide it until such time that it's too
late.
Lastly, commitment. This is where you will need to secure the feeling. Kailangan nyong panindigan ang
nararamdaman nyo. Dito madalas sumablay ang tao. Nandun ka na. Nalampasan mo na yung pagkalito, yung
takot, yung pag-aalangan... pero ang feeling, kapag napabayaan, kusang namamatay."
"Paano yung kina Krisnel? If they need commitment for their hearts to fully connect, how will I ever
finish the task in less than a year? Aantayin ko pa silang makasal, ganun?" nalilito kong tanong sa
kanya.
He smiled as he shook his head. "Marriage is not necessary but it is the most powerful glue that will
assure us that the connection will last. Ang kasal ang nagsisilbing basbas ng Diyos sa dalawang taong
nagmamahalan. And anything blessed by God is indestructable."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. "Marriage is indestructable? Then why do things such as annulment
and divorce exist?"
"That's a very good question Mina." He heaved out a sigh as he looked at the wall across us. "Almost
seventy percent of people fall for the wrong person. Nakakalungkot ang paraan ng mga tao. Kapag
nakabuntis ka, pipilitin kang ipakasal kahit hindi naman kayo nagmamahalan. Hindi mo pwedeng itama
ang pagkakamali ng isa pang kamalian. Pero kahit alam yan ng mga magulang, ginagawa pa rin nila.
Kahit walang connection, if they deem marriage necessary, they will do it. Kahit may ibang masaktan,
wala silang pakialam. Selfishness is one of the many things na kalaban ng pag-ibig. If we put
ourselves before them, then we don't truly love them. Take Christ for example, He sacrificed himself
to save us from our sins. Such act can only be done with love. A love so powerful, it can save all of
humanity."
So marriage is not necessary. So kailangang magkaroon lang ng relationship between Jasper and
Krisnel. Hmmm... I might have to give them a little push para magkaaminan na sila agad.
I heard him chuckle. "You're not listening, are you?"
"I did listen!"
Umiling sya. "You don't need relationship. You just need commitment. It's when you'll selflessly give
your love and devotion to a person without asking for anything in return."
"Pero di ba dapat two-way? If you commit and the other did not, then it's not really a connection, is
it?"
"Good point." He smiled. "What I mean is, you don't need labels. If your heart committed, you are
already connected."
Ah, ganun pala. Now I understand.
"Someone's coming," he said out of the blue. Napatayo ako. I listened intently. Yeah, someone's
definitely home.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto. Nakita kong nakasalampak sa upuan si Ate Aly, pawis na pawis... at malungkot.
"Ate? Ano, kumusta? Hindi ka ba natanggap?" Umiling sya. Naupo ako sa arm nung couch saka ko sya
inalo. "Okay lang yan. Makakahanap ka rin ng trabaho."
"Hindi yun eh," sagot nya.
"Eh bakit ka ba kase malungkot?"
Bumuntong-hininga sya. "Nakita namin si Jean."
"Salve?"
Tumango sya.
Ex ni kuya si Jean. Classmates sila nung college. Tapos naging sila by the end of third year. Ilang
buwan lang naman ang itinagal nila. I remembered it all too well. Sa akin kase umiyak si Ate Aly
noon.
Simula nung naging girlfriend ni Kuya si Jean, lumayo na sa kanya si Ate Aly. Yun ang naging dahilan
ng break-up ni Jean at ni Kuya. Jean made him choose between her and Ate Aly.
Kuya chose his best friend.
"Si Jean yung HR na nag-interview sa 'min kanina," lugong-lugo nyang sabi.
"Oh? Asan na si Kuya?"
"He's having lunch with her."
"Hala! Eh bakit mo iniwan? Adik ka ba? Eh kung magkabalikan yung dalawa?" medyo inis kong tanong sa
kanya. Ever since, boto na ako kay Ate Aly. Lahat ng naging girlfriend ni Kuya, inaaaway ko.
Si Ate Aly lang talaga ang gusto ko para kay Kuya. It's her or no one. At ang tanga kong kuya, best
friend lang ang tingin kay Ate Aly. Nakakainis.
"Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko? Magpaka-OP? Di nila ako kailangan dun. Panggulo lang ako."
I looked helplessly at Cupid. 'Help, please?'
Umiling sya at nagsalita. "I think you're the only one who can help her."
And by the look he's giving her, I realized I knew what to do all along.
--
"Seryoso ka ba dito, Mina?" tanong ni Ate Aly sa 'kin.
"Yes ate."
I started braiding her hair. Isa ito sa mga nakikita kong dahilan kung bakit hindi sya makita ni Kuya
as someone more than a friend. Hindi talaga nag-aayos si Ate Aly. I don't think she's ever worn
makeup in her life.
Talagang sineryoso nya ang pagpapakalalaki para lang mapalapit sya kay Kuya. Kaya heto sya ngayon,
friendzoned.
Pagkatapos kong itirintas ang buhok nya, nilagyan ko naman ng kaunting kulay ang mukha nya. I made
her wear a dress. Bagay naman kase sa kanya. Hindi lang talaga nya nakasanayan dahil isang beses lang
syang nag-dress. Nung graduation nila nung college. At fail pa. Kita yung shorts nya sa ilalim dahil
sa haba.
Ngayon, pinag-dress ko sya na may maikling manggas at ribbon sa may collar. Ayan... eh di nagmukha
syang babae.
Naiilang sya ng konti. Ipinagbababaan pa nya yung laylayan ng dress na makalampas-tuhod naman.
"H-Hindi ako sanay Mina."
"Masasanay ka rin ate," I assured her. "Let's go? Naiinip ako rito."
Inaya ko syang lumabas at gumala. Ayaw nya nung una kaso mapilit ako. Alam nyang boto ako sa kanya at
alam nya ring alam ko na may feelings sya kay Kuya. Kaya ang dali nyang i-blackmail.
Wala na syang nagawa kundi sumama sa 'kin. I don't want to expose Ate Aly to some other guys but my
Kuya needs a wake up call. Kapag nagpatuloy sya sa pagiging manhid, aba bahala sya.
She can't wait for him forever.
Palabas na kami ng bahay nang biglang bumukas ang pinto. Dumating na pala si Kuya. At talaga namang
gulat na gulat sya nang makita si Ate Aly.
"Kuya!" bati ko kay Kuya. Pero hindi nya ako pinansin. Nakatingin lang sya kay Ate Aly. It's like...
he's seeing her for the very first time.
Lumapit sa akin si Cupid at bumulong. "Awareness. Good job Mina."
I smiled at him.
"Oh ano? Magtititigan na lang ba kayo dyan?" Pinagitnaan ko silang dalawa. Saka ko tiningnan si Kuya.
"Oo Kuya, babae si Ate Aly. Okay na? Move on na. May lakad pa kami."
Hinila ko si Ate Aly palabas ng apartment.
"Teka! Pasama!" habol naman ni Kuya.
--
I swear, kung nakakatunaw lang ang titig, kanina pa tunaw si Ate Aly. So talagang hindi makaget-over
si Kuya?
"Kuya, tunaw na," untag ko sa kanya. Nasa gitna ako nung dalawa. Si Ate Aly, kanina pa nakayuko
paglalakad. Si Kuya naman, hindi maalis ang tingin sa kanya.
Inirapan ako ni Kuya.
Tinusok-tusok ko naman sya sa tagiliran. "Ano? Eh di natauhan ka noh? Ang ganda nya noh? Ikaw
kase..." tudyo ko sa kanya.
Pinalis nya ang kamay ko. "Manahimik ka nga!"
"Yeeee. Hindi mo malubayan ng tingin oh!"

Namula si Kuya. I couldn't believe my eyes. I made him blush! I've never seen him blush like that. Sa
dinami-dami ng naging girlfriend nya, ngisi lang ang isinasagot nya kapag tinutudyo sya.
This is something else.
"Nasan na si Alyssa?" biglang tanong nya. Lumingon ako sa likuran ko. Aba, nasaan na nga yun? Kanina
lang kasabay namin syang maglakad ah?
I saw Cupid point at an ice cream stand on one corner of the mall. Nandun si Ate Aly. Nakayuko habang
may isang lalaking kumakausap sa kanya.
Narinig kong nag-tsk si Kuya. Nasundan yata ang tingin ko. Bago pa man ako makapagsalita, naglakad na
sya papunta sa kinatatayuan ni Ate Aly.
Nilapitan niya ito at sa gulat ko, he grabbed her by the hand saka nya ito hinila palayo dun sa isang
lalaki. Kunot ang noo ni Kuya. Parang iritado na ewan. Pero namumula pa rin sya.
Si Ate Aly, nanlalaki ang mata habang nakatingin sa kamay nilang dalawa. Namumula rin. Grabe, para
silang high schoolers na nasa puppy love stage.
"Second stage, realization," I heard Cupid say.
I frowned at him. "I thought that stage take the longest?"
He smiled at me. "Well in some cases, they can be passed through in a snap. All you need is timing."
Nang makalapit na sa amin sina Kuya ay nagbitaw na sila ng kamay. "Gusto nyong manuod ng sine?"
biglang tanong ni Kuya.
"Okay lang." I looked at Ate Aly. "Ikaw Ate?"
"O-Okay lang."
"Bili kayong pop corn. Pipila na 'ko sa counter." Pagkasabi ni Kuya ay umalis na sya para pumila sa
bilihan ng ticket.
"Ate, okay ka lang?" tanong ko kay Ate Aly.
She raised both her hands to her face. "Grabe! Halos tumalon ang puso ko kanina sa kaba!" she
exclaimed.
Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Uyyyy, nakita ko yun. Nagseselos si Kuya kanina!"
Namilog yung mata nya sa sinabi ko. "Tingin mo? Seryoso?"
I nodded enthusiastically. Hinawakan ko sya sa balikat.
"Congrats Ate. Nakalabas ka na rin sa friend zone."

####################################
Chapter 7: Karmic
####################################
Heaven can wait
I'll point at the sky
It's you and I
"This song is so cute. Nandito kase ako." Pagkasabi ay tumawa si Cupid. Sabado ngayon kaya nasa bahay
lang ako. Si Ate Aly, umuwi muna sa probinsya. Wala pa rin syang trabaho. Samantalang si Kuya,
starting na since Monday.
Cupid and I are listening to this song by We The Kings called Heaven Can Wait. At tuwang-tuwa sya
dahil na-mention yung pangalan nya.
"Wala ba tayong gagawin ngayon? Naiinip ako rito sa bahay."
Here's a song
For the one who stole my heart
And ran so far
That Cupid couldn't catch her
I sighed. He's singing those lines for the nth time. Kanina pa on-repeat 'tong kanta. Tuwang-tuwa
talaga sya. The last song na sobrang nagasgas sa 'kin eh yung kanta ng Kamikazee na Hanggang
Tingin... dahil nandun na naman sya.
Ngingiti-ngiti lang sya sa 'kin. Nako. Kung hindi ka lang gwapo Cupid.
"I heard that," he said out of the blue.
I rolled my eyes. "Madaya ka. Why can't I read your thoughts when you can freely read mine?" reklamo
ko sa kanya. Ang unfair kase.
"It's one of the privileges of being me," sagot nya. Inagaw nya sa 'kin yung iPod ko saka sya namili
ng kanta. Napailing na lang ako nang marinig ko 'yung kantang ipinalit nya. Stupid Love Letter by The
Friday Night Boys. And guess why.
Cupid shot me in the eye
So they say that love is blind
Grunting, I pulled the earphone from his ear saka ko itinigil yung kanta.
"Hey!"
"Gusto kong gumala. Manuod tayong sine please!" pakiusap ko sa kanya.
He squinted his eyes at me. "I think I know what movie you'd want to watch," sabi nya sa tonong
parang nang-aakusa.
I smiled sheepishly at him. "Yeah. That's the one."
--
Pumunta kami ng mall para manuod ng Despicable Me 2. Hindi nya gusto yung movie. He'd rather watch
World War Z. Masyado raw pambata ang DM2. Kaso ako pa rin ang nasunod since I'm buying the tickets-
which has no use anyway, given na wala namang ibang nakakakita sa kanya kundi ako.
Pumila na ako sa ticket counter.
'Magkwento ka,'I said to him in my thoughts.
He raised an eyebrow. "About what?"
I shrugged. 'Kahit ano. Ang haba ng pila eh. Nakakabore.'
"Pansin ko lang ha. Parang kanina mo pa yata ako inuutusan."
I smiled at him. 'Uy di ah. Request kaya yun!'
He smirked at me. "Say please first," sabi nya.
I rolled my eyes at him. But I didn't get the chance to say please dahil narinig ko si Kuya Guard na
pinuputol ang pila dahil wala na raw seats for DM2! Napasimangot ako. I've been wanting to watch that
movie for days! Tapos ngayong nagka-time, saka naman ako naubusan ng seats. Meron namang free kaso
mamaya pang nine. Gabing-gabi na yun masyado eh kailangan ko pang magsulat ng manuscript.
Kaya ko lang naman naisipang lumabas kase wala akong mapiga sa utak ko. I've been working on this
manuscript of mine since yesterday pero ni isang word wala pa rin akong naisusulat.
Talk about writer's block!
Umalis na kami sa pila ni Cupid. Sumandal ako dun sa tabi ng Figaro, nakatingin lang sa mga tao.
Being a matchmaker really does things to you. Dati, ni hindi ako tumitingin sa mga tao sa paligid ko.
I was so absorbed with myself.
Ngayon, parang sila na lang palagi ang inaalala ko. Na parang bang nakasalalay sa 'kin ang ikasasaya
nila. Ewan.
Those red strings really bother me until today.
"Mina, look there," Cupid said as he pointed at somewhere across us. Isang lalaki at dalawang babae.
One girl seemed to be yelling at the guy pero hindi ko marinig dahil nasa tabi sila ng Time Zone.
The guy is holding the other girl's hand while protecting her from the yeller.
I decided to get closer.
"Karen please! Not here!" mariing sigaw ng lalaki sa babaeng sumisigaw rin sa kanila, who must be
Karen.
Karen lashed out and pointed one finger at him. "Not here? Bakit Bryan? Nahihiya ka? Ha?" Matinis ang
boses ni Karen. At lalo pa itong tuminis kase sumisigaw sya. Sa una, aakalain mong sya yung agrabyado
dahil ang payat-payat nya. Bryan-who I'm asssuming is the guy-is tall and lanky.
The girl next to him, who I do not know who, is curvy and tall as well.
Kapag isa ka sa mga onlookers, parang gusto mong panigan si Karen.
"Karen please, umuwi ka na," pakiusap ni Bryan kay Karen. Hinawakan nito ang braso ni Karen, causing
the other to jerk away.
"Wag mo nga akong hawakan! You broke my sister's heart, you jerk! Tapos sino'ng ipapalit mo? Itong
babae na 'to na parang tinapakan ng sampung kabayo ang mukha?"
"Wala na kami ni Gina! Ilang buwan na Karen! Bakit ba affected na affected ka? Hindi naman ikaw ang
hiniwalayan ko ah?" paasik na tanong ni Bryan.
Doon na nagsimulang tumulo ang luha ni Karen. "Nag-iisang kapatid ko yun Bryan! Ano sa tingin mo ang
mararamdaman ko kapag nakikita ko syang nasasaktan? Natural masasaktan rin ako! Hindi mo kase ako
katulad! May puso ako, ikaw wala!"
Parang wala lang kay Bryan ang narinig nito. His expression is... cold.
"What's wrong with him?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
"Excuse me?" narinig ko namang tanong ng isang lalaki.
Alanganin akong ngumiti. "Err-nothing. Sorry." I gave Cupid a glare. 'I hate that I'm the only one
who can see you. Nagmumukha na talaga akong tanga,'I said to him.
Tumawa sya. "You'll get used to it soon enough."
'Back to my question. What's wrong with him?'
His lips form a grim line. He cocked his head to them. "Tell me, what do you see?"
Sinundan ko sya ng tingin at naguluhan ako sa nakita ko. Magkakakunekta ang strings nina Karen, Bryan
at nung girl na kasama ni Bryan. How is that possible? Wala naman syang nasabi na nag-eexist ang
connection of three or more people. It should always be one or two.
Single-blessedness ang una. Nakatadhana silang tumandang mag-isa for them to serve a better purpose
as God's servant.
Pangalawa ay yung soul mates. Mga kaluluwang nakatadhanang magtagpo during their life span on Earth.
Isa lang para sa isa. Pero bakit may tatluhan?
'I don't understand.'
"That's an unnatural connection. One that is forced and must be corrected. See that string from the
other girl's end?"
Tumango ako sa itinuturo nya. Yung string na nakakabit sa isang babae, kulay red sya from the tip of
the finger of the girl. Pero paitim ng paitim as it goes on.
Nakabuhol iyon sa strings nina Bryan at Karen.
'So si Bryan at Karen-"
"Yes."
Parang bigla akong nalungkot sa sagot nya. Naaawa ako kay Karen. She's meant to end up with the guy
who broke her sister's heart. Paano na lang ang relasyon nilang magkapatid kapag nagkataon?
Nakita kong inawat na sila nung mga staffs ng Time Zone. Umiiyak na talaga si Karen habang pilit na
lumalapit dun sa isang babae, threatening to claw her face.
Ito namang si Bryan, he seemed so lost in a trance.
'What caused all these?' I asked Cupid.
"Gayuma," he said the word as if he despised it. "Isa yan sa mga bagay na lumalabag sa free will ng
tao. Love potions will put someone in an illusion that he or she is in love with whoever's concocted
them."
Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi nya. I didn't believe in potions. Sure, I watched Harry Potter many
times over pero hanggang doon na lang ang paniniwala ko sa potions. Turns out ang laki pala ng damage
na pwedeng idulot nito sa tao.
'So pano yan? Hopeless case na sila?'
He shrugged. "I'll ask Psyche to take care of this. Magagawan pa siguro ng paraan."
'Who's Psyche?'
"My sister."
--
Nawiwindang pa rin ako sa mga sinabi nya ngayong araw. May sister sya? Akala ko ba walang gender ang
angels? Or at least they don't appear to have one. Saka pwede ba sa kanila ang mag-asawa? Tapos yung
gayuma thingy pa with Karen and Bryan. Naloloka rin ako. Paano na lang kung maging prospects ko sila?
Naku naku.
Tapos eto pa... magka-holding hands kami ni Cupid.
But before anyone concludes anything, here's why. Cupid is invisible, right? Everything he touches
becomes invisible to everyone except me. Now, dahil sa gustong-gusto kong manuod ng DM2 at wala ng
available seats for the early showing, ganun na lang ang ginawa nya.
He held my hand and told me to never let go. At least not until the movie ended.
We followed the flow of the crowd on the way inside the cinema at inantay muna naming makaupo ang
lahat bago kami pumwesto.
"So they really can't see me?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nope."
"Can they hear me?" tanong ko ulit. Umiling sya. "Cool!" I exclaimed. "Can I shout?"
He chuckled. "Can we just please watch the movie?" nakangiti nyang tanong.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine." Medyo nakakailang kase yung magkahawak kami ng kamay pero hindi
naman kami. Ang awkward talaga.
"Ginusto mo 'to di ba?" maya-maya'y tanong nya.
I grunted. "I know."
"Just don't let go. It's only for a few hours."
I looked at his profile. Tutok na sya sa screen pero halata pa rin yung ngiti nyang kanina pa nya
gustong itago sa 'kin.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked in an accusing tone.
He smirked at me. "Kinda." Tumingin sya sa akin. "Don't worry. I don't feel anything towards you.
It's just nice to hold your hand."
"Uh-huh." So we're back on him having no love nerves. Ibinaling ko na lamang ang atensyon ko sa
screen. Nakakatuwa ang mga minions. Stress-reliever sobra.
Sana pala nag-yellow ako.
--
After the movie, we joined the crowd towards the exit. Mukhang wala namang nakapansin na bigla na
lang akong sumulpot mula sa kung saan. Sobrang absorbed pa rin yung iba sa movie. I could hear the
kids wanting and begging their parents to watch it again.
Nakakatuwa lang.
I noticed a couple of teenagers in front of us. Parang familiar sila. It was not until makalabas na
talaga kami ng sinehan ng marealize ko kung sino sila. Agad kong hinawakan ang kamay ni Cupid.
"What?" he asked.
I pointed at those two. It seems like they're on a date! Yay!
"It seems like I would get two pairs of connected hearts in less than a month," nakangiti kong sabi
sa kanya.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that."
Sinundan ko ang tingin nya and true enough, they don't seem to be on a date. May kasamang batang
babae si Jasper. Judging by their somewhat similar features, mukha kapatid nito iyon.
Pumasok sila sa isang fast food chain. Sumunod kami ni Cupid. Well, he has no choice. Nakita kong
nilapitan nila ang isang lalaking nasa-over 40s na yata tapos may kasama itong isang ginang na I'm
guessing eh mama nila pareho dahil yumakap doon yung kapatid ni Jasper. Si Jasper naman ay humalik sa
noo nito.
Mukhang inaya sila ng dalawa na saluhan sila sa pagkain but Jasper refused.
"He's telling them na ihahatid pa nya yung kaibigan nya," Cupid explained.
"So you can read lips too?" taas-kilay kong tanong sa kanya.
He just shrugged in response.
Nagpaalam na sina Jasper sa parents nya. We went outside the fast food chain just after they did.
Tapos ay sinundan namin sila.
"Galit ka pa rin sa papa mo?" tanong ni Krisnel sa kanya.
"Hindi naman mawawala yun eh," sagot ni Jasper. Tumingin ito kay Krisnel saka ngumiti. "Saka hindi ko
naman talaga sya tatay."
Napatigil ako sa pagsunod sa narinig ko.
"You okay?" Cupid asked.
Tumango ako. Big deal sa akin yung sinabi ni Jasper. When I was in high school, I learned that the
father I used to know since childhood was not really my father. Nilayasan daw kami ng totoo kong
tatay noong baby pa lang ako.
Alam ni Kuya pero hindi nya sinabi. Nalaman ko lang lahat nung namatay yung tatay-tatayan ko. Ang
komplikado nga eh. One moment, akala ko ang saya-saya ng pamilya namin. And then nalaman ko na hindi
ko pala tatay yung akala ko ay tatay ko. Then he died of liver cancer.
And then biglang sumipot ulit yung totoo kong tatay.
All is good now though. Nagkapatawaran na kami.
"Let's continue following them," sabi ko kay Cupid.
--
Jasper took her to this one restaurant at the mall. We followed inside. Nakakagutom ang amoy ng steak
at baby back ribs.
"Akala ko ba ihahatid mo na 'ko pauwi?" tanong ni Krisnel kay Jasper.
"Nagugutom ako eh. Ikaw, hindi ka ba nagugutom?" pabalik nitong tanong sa dalaga.
Jasper just shrugged as they find avaiable seats.
After taking their orders, nagsimula ng kumain ang dalawa. Kami naman ay tumabi sa table nila. I am
hungrily leering at the food.
Seriously, nakakalaway.
"When we're done here, remind me to buy some ribs," sabi ko kay Cupid.
"Buy some for me too," nakangiti nyang sagot.
"JL... 'wag mo sanang mamasamain yung tanong ko ha?"
"Depende sa tanong..."
Krisnel grimaced. "Ano kase... minumolestya ka pa ba ng papa-I mean, stepdad mo?" nag-aalangang
tanong niya kay Jasper.
Jasper's aura went darker. It was just like before. He just seemed to... darken.
"Why does his aura-"
"Darkens?" Cupid sighed. "Rage. There are specific people who have Rage in their system. They have
the potential to go berserk with anger. People like them are very dangerous," paliwanag ni Cupid.
Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi nya. "Pano si Krisnel nito?"
He smiled. "Connections are more powerful than you think Mina. Those people with connections are not
only soul mates. They also have karmic bonds. They were specifically meant to be with the one who
will give them balance. If you take Krisnel away from him, his life would be critically imbalanced.
And when that happens, well... expect for hell."
Kumunot ang noo ko. First they were soul mates. Now, they have some sort of bond made out of karma?
How much more complicated will my job have to be?
"Krisnel is like his tranquilizer. His haven. His sanctuary. She provides him peace of mind. His
karma," dagdag niya. "May mga tao sa mundo na nakatadhana para pahirapan, pasayahin o pasakitan ka.
All the people around you have different purposes they should fulfill in your life. May rason ang
existence ng bawat tao. And hers," he pointed at Krisnel, "is to make him better."
I looked back at them both. Jasper stopped eating. Si Krisnel naman ay nakayuko. "Sorry," she
muttered.
"Ayoko ng pag-usapan ang tungkol dun, okay?" Jasper said coldly.
Tumango si Krisnel. "Nagwo-worry lang kase ako-"
"There's nothing to worry about," he cut in.
"Let's go home Mina. There's nothing more to do here," aya sa akin ni Cupid.
"Teka," pigil ko sa kanya. "Baka may sasabihin pa si Jasper."
Umiling sya. "Masamang pinupush ang mga taong katulad nya. Be patient. You will know certain things
at a certain time. Now come on, bumili na tayo ng steak. Gusto ko na ring kumain."
--
We bought steaks. Bumili na rin ako ng para kay Kuya. Saka para kay Ate Aly, in case na dumating sya
mamaya. Ang dami ko na namang nalaman galing sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako. Pagulo na
kase ng pagulo.
Sumasakit ang ulo ko.
After eating, I opened my laptop and tried to continue my manuscript. I did everything. I listened to
music. I watched movies. I envision myself with the one I love-who I do not have as of the moment-but
nothing.
Zilch.
So I overhauled my previous manuscript. Binura ko lahat ng kopya ko. It's not worth continuing
anyway.
And as I stare at the blank pages, a new idea came up.
They are not just soul mates. They are also each other's karma.
Soul mates.
Bonds.
Karma.
I smiled to myself as I typed in the words for my new title. Karmic Hearts.
####################################
Chapter 8: Complications
####################################
Nagtataka ako dahil pagkadating ni Ate Aly, back to her old self na naman ang peg nya. Isang beses
lang talaga syang nagpakababae at parang pinagbigyan nya lang ako. Ngayon, nakatokong shorts na naman
sya at t-shirt na kasya ang dalawang tao. Her hair was tied in a ponytail na parang hindi sinuklay
mula kahapon.
Naiiling akong napatingin kay Kuya at mas nailing ako nang makita kong wala syang reaksyon. Yung
something na hindi ko mapangalanan na nakita ko sa mata nya dati, wala na ngayon. So ganun na lang
pala yun? He likes her when she's feminine and not as much when she's herself?
Nasi-switch on and off ba ang feelings ng kuya ko?
"Tol! May padala si mama sa 'min?" tanong ni Kuya kay Ate Aly.
Ate Aly rolled her eyes. "Marami! Eto nga't ang sakit na ng balikat ko sa dami ng padala ni Tita!"
Ibinaba ni Ate Aly sa sahig ang isang malaking cloth bag na nakasukbit sa kanan nyang balikat. Mula
roon ay may inilabas syang tupperwares na may lamang mga ulam tapos isang piling ng saging, isang
plastik ng mangga at melon at isang maliit na Coleman na may lamang hipon.
"Wow... ang dami nga!" I exclaimed. Kinuha ko yung mga alam kong masisira agad at saka ko inilagay sa
mini ref namin. Hinayaan ko silang dalawa sa sala para makapag-usap. Pero kagaya ng nakasanayan
nilang dalawa, nag-asaran at nagpayabangan lang sila kagaya ng dati nilang ginagawa.
Lalaki na naman ang tingin ni Kuya kay Ate Aly.
--
Monday came. Halos sabay-sabay kaming umalis ng bahay. Si Kuya, papasok sa trabaho. Ako, papasok sa
school at si Ate Aly... maghahanap ng trabaho.
Good thing I have Cupid here to keep me company.
'Do charms work?' I asked him. Naalala ko kanina na isinuot ni Ate Aly yung lumang-luma nyang jeans
para sa interview. Pinipilit ko syang magsuot ng mas formal pero ayaw nya.
Swerte raw kase yung jeans nya na 'yun.
Cupid shrugged. "Yes and no."
I frowned at him. 'What do you mean?'
"See, the thing about charms is that it's not in the thing. It's in the force surrounding that thing.
Kapag ang isang bagay ay inassociate mo sa kamalasan o swerte, you attract the force to surround it.
So everytime na-say for example, a wristband-iisipin mong malas iyon, mamalasin ka nga tuwing suot mo
'yun dahil iniisip mo kaagad na malas iyon. Same with luck," paliwanag nya.
'What about Serendipity?' I asked again. Malapit na kami sa school. May mangilan-ngilan ng estudyante
ang nakakasabay ko sa daan.
"You mean fate?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
'No. The movie," I said with a sheepish smile.

"I like that movie," he commented.
'But did you believe it?'
"Of course. I'm Cupid, remember?" nakangiti nyang sagot. "Why did you ask?"
Nagkibit-balikat ako. 'Wala lang. It just seemed like a perfect movie. Alam mo na, everything happens
with regards to the course of a bigger plan. It's like Domino effect. One shift from you would affect
everyone around you. Masyadong mind blowing.'
"Everything happens for a reason," dagdag niya.
I nodded. 'Right. But in real life, it's not as easy to believe in.'
"But you did believe that story."
'Well yeah,' I admitted. 'I think that's the only time I believed in destiny and soulmates... well,
before all this.'
The morning air rushed in and I watched in fascination as dustlike particles shimmer in the sunlight.
He breathed in the air, slowly. Pumikit pa sya na para bang ninanamnam ang hangin.
I looked at the busy street and no one seemed to care. Why? People on the street are so busy with
their own lives. So absorbed that they have taken the little things for granted. Or maybe I'm just
being keenly observant.
Pero ang sarap ng feeling. Nakaka-uplift-
"Sorry!"
Someone just bumped into me. I swayed a little as I tried to regain my balance. Naramdaman kong may
dalawang kamay na kumapit sa braso at likod ko, probably preventing me from falling.
Slowly, I looked up to him.
And there I stood, dazed, staring at the newest heartthrob of our school-Joseph Marco.
"Ms. Mina, hi!" He looked a bit surprised.
I was a bit surprised too na naaalala pa nya ako. "H-Hi..." I said, quivering.
"Sorry nabunggo kita. I wasn't really looking-"
"I-It's okay."
He smiled down on me. Gosh... ang gwapo nya. His smile showed off his perfectly white set of teeth.
It's a great contrast to his skin, which is tanned to perfection.
I had to look away before I drool.
I glanced at Cupid and saw him shake his head in disapproval.
'What?' kunot-noo kong tanong sa kanya.
"You better stop yourself Mina... before it's too late," sagot niya.
'Come on. It's just a harmless crush!' I replied to him. "Sure!" sabi ko naman kay Joseph when he
offered to carry my things for me.
--
Hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutan 'yung eksena namin ni Joseph kanina sa may gate nang isa na namang
pangyayari ang nakapagpagulantang sa akin ngayong araw. I overheard from the students talking outside
my class na nakipag-away daw si Jasper sa isang teacher na bakla.
Dali-dali akong lumabas ng klase ko para puntahan sya sa dean's office. Naku naman... ano na naman
kaya ang naiisipan ng batang 'yun?
Maraming teacher ang nasa labas ng dean's office, including si Joseph na crush ko. Nasa loob daw si
dean saka si Sir Brian. Si Sir Brian yung matandang professor na medyo baklain.
"Ano'ng nangyari?" tanong ko sa katabi ko, which unfortunately turned out to be Silvia.
"Tinakot daw ni Jasper na papatayin si Sir Brian kapag hinawakan sya nito. Ayun, takot na takot si
bakla ng nagsumbong kay dean."
I gaped at her. Tinakot na papatayin? Akala ko simpleng susuntukin lang! Anla! I looked helplessly at
Cupid. 'Ano'ng gagawin ko?' tanong ko sa kanya. 'Kapag na-expel si Jasper, male-lessen ang chance na
mag-connect ang hearts nila ni Krisnel!'
He looked back at me in disbelief. "Yan pa rin ang iniisip mo? He's on the verge of expulsion Mina,
have a little consideration," medyo iritado nyang sabi.
'Sorry.' Tama sya. Ano ba naman 'tong iniisip ko? Siguro napi-pressure lang ako kase nakaka-isang
buwan na ako pero wala pa rin. Ayoko pa namang naiipunan ng gagawin kase hindi ko alam kung ano'ng
uunahin ko.
It didn't help na back to zero na naman ako kina Kuya Sic.
Natahimik ang mga kasama ko mula sa pagbubulungan nang biglang lumabas si dean saka si Sir Brian. Sa
akin napatuon ang mga mata ni dean.
"Ms. Sebastian!" tawag sa akin ni dean. "Mabuti naman at nandito ka na."
I frowned at him. "Bakit po sir?"
"Kailangan kita sa loob." Hinila ako ni dean at saka binulungan. "Ayaw magsalita ni Cruz. Ikaw lang
daw ang gusto nyang kausapin."
Pinapasok ako ni dean sa office nya. Nakita ko na nakaupo roon si Jasper. Nakapangalumbaba ito at
mukhang walang pakialam sa mundo.
Tinanguan ako ni dean at saka niya isinara ang pintuan. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Jasper sa loob. Well,
there's also Cupid.
Naupo ako sa tapat ni Jasper.
"Bakit mo ginawa 'yun? Alam mo bang pwede kang ma-expel?" He just tsk-ed and crossed his arms. Great.
Akala ko ba makikipag-usap sa 'kin ang taong 'to? "Can you at least have the courtesy to tell me what
happened? I can't help you if you won't talk," dagdag ko.
He looked at the bulletin board on his right while contemplating on his choices. Alam kong alam nyang
tama ako. Saka sya itong nagpatawag sa 'kin, di ba? He should know that I could be trusted.
I heard him sigh. "He was molesting me," he spit out.
I crossed my arms. "Iba ang sinasabi ng mga nakakita Jasper. They said that Sir Brian is only asking
you if you want to join him for lunch. Then you lunged at him and threatened to kill him."
Umiling sya. "Hindi si Sir ang tinutukoy ko."
There was a long pause after that. I didn't know what to say. Of course, alam ko naman na
minumolestiya sya ng tatay nya-stepdad, to be exact-but I didn't actually think that he would admit
it to me.
"Bata pa lang ako nang simulan akong molestiyahin ng bakla kong tatay-tatayan. He would come to my
room every night and-" Nagtagis ang bagang niya. "Wala akong pinagsabihan. He was a good provider and
a good father to my sister. Ayokong kamuhian ako ng nanay ko kapag sinabi ko sa kanya ang ginagawa ng
lalaking nagpapakain at nagpapa-aral sa 'min. Ayoko ring masira ang pagkakakilala ng kapatid ko sa
kanya. My sister idolizes him.
"Nang mag-high school ako, nagagawa ko na syang labanan. But he was threatening to leave us just to
get his way to me. Nag-working student ako para may pang-tustos sa pag-aaral ko. Gusto kong kumalas
sa kanya. Kahit paunti-unti.
"He stopped eventually pero may mga okasyon na parang gusto nya na namang umulit. It's not until I
punched him hard on the face that he realized that I will put up a fight kung gagawin nya pa rin
'yung ginawa nya sa akin dati."
Nangingilid na 'yung luha sa mga mata nya. I felt sorry for him. Nobody deserves to be molested. No
wonder galit na galit sya sa mga bakla.
"I'm sorry to hear that pero hindi mali pa rin ang ginawa mo kay Sir Brian. Alam mo bang may sakit sa
puso ang taong 'yun? Paano na lang kung may nangyari sa kanya, eh di accountable ka pa?"
"Sinabi ko na kase sa kanyang ayoko pero ang kulit nya," dahilan nya naman.
"Kahit na. You need to apologize to him."
He sighed. Tinapik ko sya sa balikat. "You should go out more. Find some friends. Hindi mo dapat
sinasarili ang problema. They won't be much of a burden if you have some friends to share the weight
with."
Tumango-tango lamang sya.
"Will you be okay though? Is your stepdad still..."
He shook his head vigorously.
"Nag-bed spacer ako para mapalayo sa kanya," sagot niya.
"Oh... good."
Biglang bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok si dean. He was looking expectant. Tinanguan ko sya. He then
asked Jasper to go back to class habang pinapirmi nya ako.
He asked what happened and I told him na dala lamang ng trauma kaya ginawa ni Jasper iyon.
I couldn't tell a word about his stepdad molesting him. It was very personal. Sabi ko na lang kay
dean, i-suspend na lang si Jasper saka pahingiin ng tawad kay Sir Brian. I'll talk to Sir Brian
myself to explain Jasper's side, still leaving out certain parts obscure.
--
Night came. Pagkauwi ko sa apartment, agad akong nagkulong sa kwarto ko para mag-type ng manuscript.
"What are you typing?" Cupid asked.
"You know what I'm typing," sagot ko sa kanya habang tinitipa ng mga daliri ko ang keyboard.
Naupo sya sa gilid ng kama ko at pinakialaman ang iPod ko na nakapatong doon. I'm guessing he's going
to play his playlist again. Nag-ipon sya ng mga kanta na may mga mention ng pangalan nya.
Narcissistic masyado.
"Narinig ko 'yun."
I grinned at him. "You love yourself so much, don't you?"
He shrugged. "I told you already. I am not capable of such feeling." Pagkasabi'y nahiga siya at
pumikit habang nakapasak sa tigkabilang tenga ang earphones.
"Mina! Kakain na!" narinig kong tawag ni Kuya mula sa labas. Kakain na? Malamang dumating na si Ate
Aly. Balasubas talaga ang kuya ko. Sya ang maagang umuwi pero inantay pa talaga si Ate Aly at ito ang
pinabili ng ulam.
Si Ate Aly rin ang nagsaing.
Speaking of Ate Aly, may trabaho na kaya 'yun?
I put my laptop on sleep mode saka ako lumabas ng kwarto. Naghahain si Ate Aly ng pagkain habang si
Kuya ay prenteng nakaupo at naglalaro sa cellphone niya.
"Kumusta Ate? May work na ikaw?" tanong ko kay Ate Aly.
She smiled at me then nodded her head. "Start na nga ako kanina eh."
"Nice! Saan naman?" tanong ni Kuya.
"Starbucks."
We both gaped at her. "Teka... bakit sa Starbucks? Di ba engineer ka?" takang-tanong ko sa kanya.
"So? Bawal na bang maging barista kapag engineer?" natatawa nyang tanong.
"Para kang timang pre. Five years kang nagpapakahirap pag-aaral tapos magba-barista ka lang?" Kuya
was looking at her incredulously. Oo nga naman. Tanda ko pa dati, umiyak sila pareho kina mama nung
naka-singko silang dalawa. Tapos muntikan pa silang bumagsak sa battery exam nila. Ilang tries din
bago sila naging lisensyado. Tapos ngayon, magba-Barista si Ate Aly? Wow lang.
"Marunong ka man lang bang magtimpla ng kape?" tanong ko sa kanya.
She nodded. "Oo naman! Nag-crash course ako sa pagbabarista," sagot niya.
"Nag-crash course ka tapos ako hindi mo isinama?" may halong tampong tanong ni Kuya.
"Busy ka kase sa girlfriend mo dati," sagot ni Ate Aly sa kanya. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Ano? Hindi
pa ba tayo kakain? Nagugutom na 'ko."
Naupo na ako para kumain. They did the same. Lutong ulam lang ang binili ni Ate. Kapag si Kuya kase
ang pinagluto, naku... masusunog ang bahay.
Gustong-gusto ni Ate Aly na magtake up ng culinary arts. Mahilig kase syang magluto. Pero si kuya,
gustong mag-engineer. Eh ito namang isa, helplessly in love kay Kuya kaya ayun... kung saan ito, doon
din sya.
Pag-ibig nga naman.
--
Pagkatapos kong kumain ay bumalik na ako agad sa kwarto ko para mag-type ng manuscript ko. The ideas
inside my head were endless. Ang daming what ifs. Suddenly, the world seemed like a great, big ocean.
So many fish out there, just waiting to be caught.
I was so absorbed with my manuscript that I didn't realize na nakikibasa na pala si Cupid ng ginagawa
ko.
"Hey!" I pushed him away. "Bawal basahin." Nakakailang kaya kapag may ibang taong nagbabasa ng
isinusulat o itinatype mo. Feeling ko nava-violate yung privacy ko.
"Nabasa ko na rin naman 'yan sa utak mo eh. Magulo nga lang," nakangiti nyang sabi sa akin.
I gave him a stern look. "Stop reading my mind, will you?"
"Why would I? I like reading your thoughts. They are so random," kumento nya.
"Unfair ka talaga," nakasimangot kong sabi sa kanya. Tuluyan ko ng isinarado ang laptop ko saka ko
siya hinarap. "Why can't I get inside your head?"
He smiled at me. "Because you're already here."
"Huh?"
Umiling sya. "Nothing. What's the manuscript about?" pag-iiba nya ng topic.
"It's about a matchmaker... and you."
His eyebrows furrowed. "A love story between a matchmaker and me?" tanong niya.
Tumango ako. "Pero pure fiction lang yun ha! Baka isipin mo naman may HD ako sa 'yo," paliwanag ko
naman agad.
Tumawa sya. "Nah... malabong mangyari. And it shouldn't happen. We can never be together. Fate won't
allow it."
"But that's a romantic notion right? The angel of love falls in love with his matchmaker. Siguradong
bebenta 'yun. Ang dami kaseng hopeless romantic sa mundo."
"Love transcends the laws of heaven and Earth. If only it was true..." He sighed.
"Yeah..."
Ang romantic nga ng dating kapag ang isang matchmaker at ang angel of love ay nagkagustuhan at
nagkatuluyan. In a way though, it could be tragic. Paano kung hindi pala sila pwedeng magsama? Paano
na lang kung mapaparusahan sila kapag ipinilit nila ang gusto nila?
Parang mas kapani-paniwala kapag tragic ang kalalabasan ng story pero since alam kong mas bebenta ang
happy ending, eh di happy ending na lang.
"Ano ba'ng maganda sa happy ending? Bakit gustong-gusto nyo ng happy ending? Wasn't the notion
saddening given the fact na ending na nga? Parang hindi mo na ma-e-enjoy yung happiness kung tapos na
rin naman ang kwento. Why not have a happy journey instead?" sunod-sunod nyang tanong.
"People love the idea of hope. Alam mo yun... kahit masama o tragic na 'yung journey as long as they
have something happy to look forward to, it's okay. Mas gusto 'yun ng karamihan kesa masaya ka nga
ngayon pero ang ending, tragic," paliwanag ko naman sa kanya.
"Yeah but a happy journey means you have lived a fulfilling life, right? Bakit mas gusto ninyo ang
short-lived happiness?"
I shrugged at him. "Beats me. I'm often bemused with my own kind."
"You people are so complicated."
"But that's what makes us beautiful, right?" Bigla kong naalala yung kanta ng One Direction. LOL.
"How about you, angels? How do you think?"
"We see things way too clearly. We could even see the consequences of our every act. Kaya madalas na
tama ang ginagawa namin."
"Do you make mistakes?"
He nodded. "Of course. Even He makes mistakes. Only... He does them on purpose so that doesn't really
count."
My mouth formed an O in amusement. Kapag talaga nakikipag-usap ako sa kanya, hindi ko mapigilang
mamangha. Ang dami nyang alam.
"Did you ever commit a mistake?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Yes... one."
"And what mistake is that?" curious kong tanong.

"I can't tell you. It would be another mistake on my part if I do," sagot niya.
"Come on," pamimilit ko. "It won't be that grave of a mistake naman siguro?"
He gave me a tight smile. "On the contrary, it was the gravest mistake I've ever committed."
"Pero-"
"You're wondering why I still could do all those things I showed you." It was not a question. It was
a statement. He was reading my mind again. Napabuntong-hininga sya. "I was hoping you won't ask but I
guess that's inevitable. This... was my detention. I was ordered to take someone under my wing-no,
not just someone-you in particular. I was about to make you a matchmaker. It was my gravest
punishment."
"Huh? Paano naging punishment 'yun sa 'yo?" Ganun na ba ako kahirap turuan?
"Do you have any idea on what's the gravest mistake an angel could commit?" mahina nyang tanong sa
akin.
I shook my head.
"Fall in love," was his answer. Shock. Bewilderment. Confusion. Biglang nag-hay wire ang utak ko. "I
committed that mistake Mina. I fell in love..."
"Kanino?"
"I can't tell you." My shoulders slumped in disappointment. Alam mo yung feeling na bibigyan ka na ng
isang malaking bar ng chocolate tapos binawi? Yun... ganun yung feeling. Pabitin. "I'll tell you this
though. If you did not fulfill the task at hand by next Valentine's Day, you will be taking my duty
as a matchmaker forever. At ako naman, I will remain as is. Neither mortal nor angel. Walang
makakakita sa akin na kahit na sino kundi sila. And I will be given one feeling and it will stay with
me for eternity."
"And what feeling is that?"
"Misery. I'm bound to be miserable forever."

####################################
Chapter 9: The Golden Streak
####################################
"Why me?" I asked him. He mentioned that he'd have to take me under his wing to make me a matchmaker
for a year and complete the task of gathering six connecting hearts before time runs out. Why me out
of all the people who could have been more qualified?
I was a non-believer. Did he see that as a challenge? Did he mean to change my beliefs?
"Like the rest of your kind, you used to have that connecting string Mina. But yours is different.
You have that golden streak."
My eyebrows furrowed. "Golden streak?"
He nodded. "Maiksi lang sya. I think mga one inch lang ang haba. Do you know what that means?"
Umiling ako. How am I supposed to know? Akala ko nga dala lang ng wish ko kaya nangyayari 'to sa
'kin.
"People with golden streaks on their strings were destined to be matchmakers no matter how short that
time might be. You won't literally be like me but in a way, you will have to bring people together.
He said that if you fulfilled your destiny, I will be atoned from my sin. If not, well... you already
know what will happen to both of us."
I frowned at him. "You talk as if falling in love is a bad thing."
"We are not allowed to have romantic connections with humans. Why? Because love makes you irrational.
It makes you jealous. It makes you selfish. It makes you covet. It makes you vulnerable to sin. Those
are risks we angels cannot take. And we aren't allowed to."
"But you did fell in love. How?"
He shook his head. "Hindi ko rin alam. Maybe I am the exemption to the rule. Maybe I'm the glitch in
the system. Nothing's perfect, you know. Laws are bound to have loopholes." He gave me a tight smile.
"And I still can't say who I fell in love with. You don't have to know."
I grunted. "Stop reading my mind!"
"I don't have to read your mind to know what you're thinking. It's written all over your face." He
stepped closer and bent to level his head to mine. "You're wondering if I could feel anything," he
stated.
"Well... do you?"
"Yes. All the emotions you feel, I feel them too. Anger, irritation, jealousy, pity, misery,
happiness, excitement, sadness, hunger, lust... love. I can feel everything."
"Wasn't it hard to control whenever you're around that girl?"
"Mahirap syempre but I can't do anything about it. Hindi rin naman kami ang end game eh." There's a
hint of sadness in his eyes when he said that.
"So you've been feeling those all this time and you kept on telling me that you don't feel anything?"
"I had to pero makulit ka masyado."
I smiled sheepishly at him. "Ganun talaga. Eh teka... you said that I also have the string, right?
Does this mean na may soul mate rin ako?" And here I was, thinking that I'm bound to be alone
forever. All this time, meron palang taong nakatadhana sa 'kin. Well, sana.
"You do, of course."
"Sino?"
He shook his head again. "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" I asked with a pout.
"Because you might look for him and you might neglect your task," he replied. "Patience Mina. You'll
know everything in time."
I looked at my hands. So there is someone out there for me but... "Since I don't have that connecting
string, what will be of him?"
He sighed. "When will you stop asking questions? That's enough for now."
Sinimangutan ko sya. "Ang daya mo."
--
Since magkatrabaho si Ate Aly, palagi na syang ginagabi ng uwi. Usually around eleven or midnight na
sya nakakarating ng bahay. Mabuti na nga lang at madalas rin kaming puyat ni Kuya. Nagmamarathon kami
ng movie sa laptop nya while I type my manuscript on mine.
Pero ngayon, mag-aala una na ay wala pa rin si Ate Aly. Mukhang nababalisa na si Kuya. Kanina pa sya
patingin-tingin sa phone nya. Mukhang nag-aantay ng tawag o text message mula kay Ate Aly.
"Ang tagal naman nun," he muttered.
"Baka OT," sabi ko sa kanya.
"Sana nagsasabi sya para nakakatulog man lang tayo noh?" medyo iritado nyang sabi.
I gave him a questioning look. "You look worried Kuya," puna ko.
"Of course I'm worried. Kahit naman tibo yun, babae pa rin yun noh," paliwanag nya.
Halos matawa ako sa sinabi nya. "So babae rin pala ang tingin mo sa kanya? Hindi halata eh."
"Tumigil ka nga," saway nya sa 'kin. Kinuha nya 'yung phone nya saka sya nag-dial. For sure number ni
Ate Aly yun. Maya-maya'y inis niyang ibinato ang phone sa couch.
"Oh? Ano'ng nangyari?"
"Out of coverage," inis nyang sagot.
"Baka lowbat? Kanina ka pa kaya tawag ng tawag." Sobrang worried ni Kuya. Ewan ko kung matutuwa ba
ako o kakabahan. Iba kase kapag nagwo-worry si Kuya. Something is definitely wrong when he's worried.
Lakas ng gut feel ng taong 'to eh.
Just when he was about to defend himself, the front door opened and in went Ate Aly.
"Oh? Gising pa kayo?" kunot-noo nyang tanong.
Tumayo si Kuya at kinuha ang phone niya mula sa couch. He then glared at Ate Aly. "Sana man lang mag-
text next time kung kelan uuwi ha? Nakakapuyat kami kakaintay sa 'yo."
"Sino ba'ng may sabing antayin mo 'ko? Pwede naman akong tumawag na lang pagdating ko. Saka pwedeng
'wag kang tawag ng tawag? Napapagalitan ako eh. Abala sa trabaho." Nagulat ako kase mukhang pikon na
rin si Ate Aly.
Hala ano 'to... LQ? Pareho yatang mainit ang ulo ng dalawa.
Hindi na sumagot si Kuya. Nahiga na lang sya dun sa latag nya sa sahig tapos tumalikod sya sa amin.
Si Ate Aly naman, dumeretso ng kwarto. Pinatay ko na 'yung laptop ko saka ko sya sinundan.
--
"Ate, okay ka lang?"
Tumango si Ate Aly pero bakas sa mukha nya na hindi sya okay. I've known her since childhood kaya
hindi sya makakapagsinungaling sa akin. She may have sensed na hindi ako naniniwala sa kanya. She
sighed and resigned herself to my bed.
Naupo ako sa tabi nya at inantay ko syang magsabi ng problema.
"Mina..." ungot nya. "Tingin mo ba tanga ako?" nakasimangot nyang tanong.
"Saang banda teh?" biro ko sa kanya.
"Bakit kase sa kuya mo pa ako nagkagusto eh. Masyadong hopeless. Baka tumanda akong dalaga nito
kakaintay."
"Ano ka ba! Gusto ka rin nun noh!" pang-e-encourage ko sa kanya.
She frowned at me. "Sinabi nya sa 'yo?"
"Hindi pero feeling ko..."
"Hindi ako type ng kuya mo noh. Matagal ko ng alam," malungkot nyang sabi.
"How can you be so sure? Naaalala mo ba nung nagbihis babae ka?"
She smiled as she remembered. "Nagulat lang 'yun nun. Wala lang 'yun."
"Eh di araw-araw kang magpakababae para araw-araw syang gulat!" sabi ko naman sa kanya.
In spite of being miserable, she finally managed to laugh at my joke. "Sira."
"Kesa naman ganyan Ate. Pabalik-balik ka sa best friend zone."
Napabuntong-hininga syang muli and stared blankly in front of her, kung saan nakatayo si Cupid.
Nakatingin lang ito sa kanya.
'She's hopeless,' I said to him.
He smiled lopsidedly and said, "Not quite."
At dahil doon, nabigyan ako ng konting pag-asa.
--
I was glad that Jasper took my advice and apologized to Sir Brian. Parang na-lift yung burden mula sa
balikat nya. His aura was lighter than before. In fact, it was unusually very light. And he was also
smiling as he walks towards me.
What's up with him?
"Hi ma'am!" he greeted chirpily.
"Ang saya mo ah," puna ko sa kanya.
He grinned as he sat next to me. Nasa study area ako sa may are ng CIT. Vacant ko for two hours then
lunch. Si Cupid, naglilibot-libot. Nakikitambay sa mga estudyante. Nakikinig sa mga usapan nila.
Masaya kayang maging invisible?
Hindi mawala sa isip ko 'yung punishment na ipinataw sa kanya. 'Yun nga lang saglit na kalungkutan
nakakasama na ng loob eh, paano pa kaya kung habang buhay kang magiging miserable? He seemed so happy
today. I guess he was granted various feelings we humans have and he only has a year to enjoy them.
Eh kase naman sya, bakit kailangan pa nyang main-love? Kung hindi sana, eh di wala syang problema
ngayon. But I guess hindi nya rin ginusto 'yun. How ironic is it that the angel of love fell in love
with a human when he's bound to match her to someone else?
It must be very hard for him.
"Ma'am, pwede ba'ng magtanong?"

I nodded. "Sure."
"Matutuwa ka ba kapag binigyan ka ng bulaklak?"
Err... where is this going? "Hmm... siguro?" I answered, sounding unsure. Nakita kong tumatawa si
Cupid sa isang tabi. Shemas. Alam kong alam nya ang iniisip ko. Naku... kapag talaga iyon ay
nagkatotoo, madadagdagan na naman ang problema ko.
"Eh stuff toys ma'am, mahilig ba kayo dun?"
"Medyo."
"Kapag gusto kang i-date, saan mo gugustuhing pumunta?"
"Bakit mo tinatanong?" kunot-noo kong tanong sa kanya. Kinakabahan ako sa mga tanong nya. Sana mali
ang hinala ko.
Ngiti lang ang isinagot nya sa tanong ko. "Sige ma'am, babalik na 'ko sa klase. Thank you!"
'CUPID!' I called out in panic.
Lalong lumakas ang pagtawa nya.
'Pakshet! Naka-katol ba ang batang 'yun?!'
Lumapit sa akin si Cupid. Hawak-hawak nya 'yung tiyan nya. Kanina pa sya tawa ng tawa. Kung hindi nga
lang ako magmumukhang baliw eh kanina ko pa sya nasigawan. Nakakaasar eh. Kita na ngang nagpapanic
ako tapos tinatawanan lang ako!
He sat next to me and put his arm on my shoulder. "Someone's got a crush on you~" kanta nya.
I glared at him. 'It's not funny!'
"It is funny!"
'Can you put us into time warp?'
"Why? So you could jab me in the ribs? No way. I can feel pain too, you know." He stuck out his
tongue on me.
'Stop reading my mind!'
He just laughed. Dapat kase ala-Bella na lang ako. Unfair! Invader of privacy!
--
Kinabukasan, the thing I've been dreading the most happened. I received a bouquet of flowers from an
anonymous admirer kuno. Nakakaloka itong si Jasper! Naulit pa iyon ng ilang araw. Finally, after a
week of receiving anonymous gifts, I confronted Jasper.
Huminga muna ako ng malalim. I could feel his eyes boring at me.
"Jasper, I appreciate the gifts pero..." I grimaced. How could I break it to him gently? "Kase...
ano... hindi kase kita type." I bit my lip after saying that, silently wishing na sana hindi sya
magwala o ano. Sabi pa naman ni Cupid dati, isa si Jasper sa mga taong may Rage. Eh kung bigla na
lang nya akong sakalin?
To my surprise, Jasper laughed. So hard, he almost fell on the floor.
"Akala nyo ba ma'am-pffft-HAHAHA!"
I felt my cheeks burn. Lalo na nang makisabay sa pagtawa si Cupid. Nakakainis! Mukhang mali ako ng
hinala!
"Then who's sending those flowers and gifts?!" I asked.
Jasper's laughter waned down. Bahagya syang sumeryoso. "Hindi ko raw po pwedeng sabihin ma'am eh."
"Someone's got a secret admirer~" kanta naman ni Cupid sa isang tabi. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba
ako, maiinis o kikiligin. High school pa yata ako nang huli akong nagkaroon ng secret admirer. Or
should I say stalker kase pangit?
Oo na. Ako na nga ang judgmental.
"Kilala ko ba sya?" tanong ko kay Jasper.
Tumango sya. "Kilalang-kilala nyo ma'am." He beamed at me. I squinted my eyes at him, trying to
figure out what he's thinking. But I'm no Cupid so I wouldn't know. "Pero hindi ko po sasabihin kung
sino. Antayin nyo na lang. Malapit na rin naman syang umamin," dagdag nya.
Who could it be?
If it's not too much to ask, sana si Joseph Marco.
--
Later that night, hindi muna ako dumeretso ng uwi sa bahay. Sumama ako kay Cupid sa isang mataong
park. He said we'd meet with Psyche there.
He explained to me na hindi naman talaga sila magkapatid ni Psyche. Well, at least not biologically.
Angels treat their kind as siblings. Ang cool nga, may kanya-kanya silang trabaho. Sort of
department. At sa department of love, si Cupid ang pinakang team lead. Assistant team lead si Psyche
and the rest are staff matchmakers.
And I'm guessing that Psyche is gorgeous too. Feeling ko walang pangit sa mga anghel. Siguro kung
magiging tunay na tao sila, mas lalong dadami ang makasalanan sa mundo.
Cupid laughed at my thought. I grunted. He's reading my mind again. Definitely.
Psyche would meet us tonight to let us know what happened to one couple we saw a few weeks ago.
Couple meaning kunektado ang strings nila. Sina Karen at RB. Last time I saw them, may kakunekta
'yung string nilang dalawa.
Isang babaeng naging girlfriend ni RB. It was a very unusual and wrong kind of connection. Dulot daw
iyon ng gayuma. Love potions meddle with free will dahil kahit hindi gusto ng biktima ay mapi-pwersa
siyang mahulog sa taong may gawa ng gayuma.
RB's ex is Karen's sister. Pero si RB at Karen ang nakatadhana para sa isa't isa. Cupid asked Psyche
to straighten the connection. Magkaka-Domino effect kase kapag nagkataon. Mawawalan ng soul mate si
Karen. Therefore, she'll look for someone else. And that someone else might have someone else already
pero dahil inagaw na sya ni Karen, 'yung someone else ng someone else na aagawin ni Karen ay mang-
aagaw din ng someone else ng iba and so on and so forth. It's like throwing a rock on the water. It
creates a rippling effect.
"She's here," nakangiting sabi ni Cupid.
Sinundan ko ang tingin nya at muntikan ng malaglag ang panga ko. Walking towards us is Miranda Kerr.
'Are you kidding me?!' Literal na angel naman! Victoria's Secret angel! Grabe! Ang sexy nya! It's a
good thing na hindi sya nakikita ng iba kase for sure, pagkakaguluhan sya ng bonggang-bongga. She has
the same built and stature as Miranda. Nang makalapit ay nakita ko syang mabuti. Her eyes have the
same color as Miranda's.
She smiled at us. Yeah... definitely the same dimples. What the heck? Are they all this perfect?!
"Hi Mina," bati ni Miranda Kerr a.k.a. Psyche. OMG. Pati boses kuhang-kuha!
"H-Hello..."
I closed my mouth before I drool. Nakakatomboy sya grabe. And Cupid must've read my mind because he
started laughing again. Ugh. Sana ang matchmaker, maambunan rin ng sobrang kagandahan. Kahit 'yung
sobra lang.
####################################
Chapter 10: Psyche
####################################
I still can't take my eyes off of her. Miranda Kerr is my ultimate girl crush. As in handa akong
magpaka-tibo para sa kanya. She's so gorgeous! I'd run out of superlatives to describe her. Really!
And to think na may anak na sya sa lagay na 'yan!
Kaya naman kahit sya pa ang girlfriend ng crush ko ring si Orlando Bloom, okay lang sa 'kin. They're
a match made in heaven. Wala talaga akong maireklamo sa kanila. They're both perfect. And to see
Miranda Kerr in person? Mygosh! I might actually end up liking this matchmaking job!
I heard Cupid chuckle. Miranda-I mean Psyche-looked at him with a frown.
"What?" she asked him.
"Oh if you only knew what she was thinking!" he replied to her. Psyche turned to me and I felt my
cheeks heat up under her gaze.
"Care to tell me your thoughts Mina?" she asked.
Umiling ako. Ayoko nga. Kahihiyan ko ang nakasalalay! Instead I asked Cupid, 'Can't she read my
thoughts?'
He shook her head. "Only I can do that. I have privileges that the others don't have," sagot niya.
"Reading thoughts of other people demands utmost responsibility Mina. He can't just give everybody
that privilege."
'Can you read her thoughts?' I asked him.
"No," he answered. "My power only extends to humans."
'These privileges, can you tell me more about them?'

"Well..." Cupid sat on the bench. I sat next to him and Psyche sat next to me. "I can read minds. I
can't read the minds of other angels and I also can't read every person's mind, only when the
situation requires it."
'So the situation requires you to read my mind?' I asked incredulously.
He smirked. "No."
'My thoughts are ought to be in private!' reklamo ko.
"What is she thinking?" kunot-noong tanong ni Psyche. Oo nga pala. She can't read my thoughts.
Umiling lamang si Cupid bilang sagot. "What happened to the task I gave you Psyche? Naayos na ba?"
Psyche beamed at him. "Of course! The unwanted connection has been severed. All you need now is to
bring Karen and RB together."
"How do you sever a connection?" pabulong kong tanong.
Psyche brought out a pair of scissors from somewhere-I don't know where. Bigla na lang may lumitaw na
scissor sa kamay nya. The handle was red and the blade themselves are gold. Pati gunting mukhang
mamahalin.
'So literal na gunting ang pamputol?' tanong ko kay Cupid.
"Psyche has been given the responsibility of severing the unwanted connections. This thing," he
pointed at the scissor, "is not ordinary. It's the only thing powerful enough to sever connections
because they can't just be cut by anything. Swords and knives can't even give them the slightest of
damage.
"It would unleash unimaginable chaos if used by the wrong hands. Can you imagine a world full of
people falling out of love? It would be the end of human's existence."
Yes. It would be very awful. Imagine people not caring for each other. Imagine love dying from every
person's heart. Imagine a world without love. What would be of us if love already left us? People
would surely be rid of feelings vital to humanity such as remorse, care and concern. We may be even
rid of hope.
"Imagine the amount of sins people could commit in the absence of love," he said as if he's agreeing
to my thoughts.
"Kapag ba pinutol na 'yung connection, hindi na pwedeng ibalik ulit?" I asked. The question was
barely audible. I'm trying not to move my lips so that people won't notice that I'm talking to
myself, as it looks like it to them.
"If they are fortunate enough to find their true love, then yes. It can be reconnected," sagot ni
Psyche.
"Psyche can only sever unwanted connections. If she cut one that is not to be disconnected, then she
would be punished for it."
"What's the punishment?"
"We don't know. Psyche's got a clean record," nakangiting sagot ni Cupid.
'So ikaw lang talaga ang nagkasala?' tanong ko sa kanya.
He shrugged. "I'm special that way," sagot niya.
--
When we got home, dumeretso na ako kaagad sa kwarto ko para dugsungan ang manuscript ko. Cupid sat
beside me as he watched me type. Hindi ko na siya inintindi. Mas importanteng mailabas 'ko 'tong nasa
utak ko bago ito mawala.
I heard him sigh.
"After all I told you, you'll still give me the ending I don't deserve?" tanong niya maya-maya.
"Everybody deserves a happy ending, even those who made mistakes," I answered without blinking. I
felt him tense. Even though I can't read his thoughts, his actions gave away enough. Humarap ako sa
kanya. "Don't be too hard on yourself. The important thing is you're trying to make amends."
I put my laptop to sleep mode saka ako naupo sa kama ko. Nakasandal 'yung likod ko sa pader. I patted
the space beside me, urging him to sit. He did so.
"What's heaven like?" I asked him.
"It's like paradise. Luscious green fields, majestic mountains, crystal clear rivers... everything
that is slowly becoming extinct here on Earth are bountiful on heaven."
"Marami ba'ng tao dun?"
He nodded. "Angels and human spirits alike are there. They co-exist in peace. They can't see our
faces though. All they could see are blinding lights. That's why we live on the clouds while they
stay on paradise."
I frowned at him. "Don't they become angels too? I mean, I've always thought that if you've gone to
heaven, you'll be an angel."
He shook his head. "It does not work that way. Way before humans exist, nandito na kami. We're always
here. And it's hard to become an angel. You have to be somehow detached from people."
"Detached?" Aren't they supposed to be involved with people?
"Yes. Detached. Bawal kaming maging attached sa tao. We should always think for the good of many, not
for the good of one. Kapag naging attached kase kami sa isang tao, we'll put them above everyone
else. Imagine an angel of death getting attached to one person. It might go both ways: either the
human will die sooner or the human will live longer, depending on what they'd wish to happen. At
kapag nangyari iyon, magkakagulo na naman. Lahat ng tao ay may kanya-kanyang tagal ng ilalagi sa
mundo. Nakatakda na iyon at hindi na pwedeng baguhin. We exist for the purpose of balance. If you tip
something that is not supposed to be meddled with, it will create distortion to that balance.
Rippling effect Mina..."
Napaisip ako sa sinabi nya. We all have our designated time on Earth? It seems like everything is
pre-empted.
"You're right. Everything is pre-empted. Everything... every plan is all laid out. Everything happens
for a reason."
"So my being a matchmaker has a reason?" kunot-noo kong tanong. This is getting way too broad for my
simple mind. Gosh. Baka dumating 'yung time na hindi na ako maka-keep up.
"You have to fulfill your destiny," sagot niya. "And you need to sleep Mina. Ano'ng oras na oh." He
pointed at the clock. Malapit na palang magmadaling-araw.
"Ayos lang, Sabado naman bukas." Napahikab ako pagkasabi ko noon. Hmmm... I must be really tired.
Maaga pa pero inaantok na ako.
Sumandal ako sa kanya.
"What about that girl you fell in love with? How personal did you get with her?"
"Tell you what, let's make a deal. You'll stop asking questions about that and I'll tell you anything
else you'd like to know besides that."
I grunted. He has this knack of telling you everything while giving you nothing really. "Fine. Tell
me more about the angels."
He nodded. "Each of us has a certain task to do and a group to which we belong to. I belong to a
group responsible for love and connections. There's Psyche with me. There's also Aphrodite." My eyes
shone at the mention of Aphrodite. Lakas maka-Greek mythology eh but I let him continue. "There are
also the angels of death. They are responsible for taking the lives of people."
"But that's horrible!"
Ngumiti sya. "It's not. Normal lang 'yun Mina. They would have to take the souls from the living to
be able to create another human life. In general, it is commonly known as recycling but we angels
prefer to call it reincarnation."
"Tell me more!" I goaded.
"There are also the guardian angels. They could easily outnumber all the other groups combined. They
are responsible for the safety of humans. When their human dies, they will be reassigned to a new
one, mostly new born."
"Do I have one?"
Umiling sya. "For now, you have me."
--
Araw ng Sabado, I received an anonymous text message. The sender was asking me out on a date.
Makailang beses ko itong tinanong at sinabihang magpakilala pero ayaw nitong sabihin kung sino ito. I
told the sender na hindi ako makikipagkita nang bigla namang may tumawag sa akin. Isa ring anonymous.
"Hello?"
"Ma'am!"
I immediately recognized the voice. Paanong hindi eh isang buong linggo akong kinukulit ng batang
'to?
"Yes Jasper? Napatawag ka?" Aamin na kaya syang sya 'yung admirer ko? I glared at Cupid who was
sniggering on one side.
"Ma'am, nareceive nyo 'yung text message nya?"
I frowned. "Sino'ng sya?"
"Yung secrert admirer nyo ma'am! Magpapakilala na sya sa inyo ma'am. Punta kayo ha!"
Bigla akong kinabahan sa sinabi nya. A part of me wanted to meet the mystery guy behind those flowers
and gifts but a part of me was scared. Paano kung hindi ko sya magustuhan? Ano na lamang ang
mangyayari?
"You can always decline him," Cupid suggested.
"Paano kung hindi nya matanggap?" I asked in worry.
"Ma'am?"
"N-Nothing. I'll think about it Jasper. Thanks." I ended the call and got up. Tama naman si Cupid eh.
I can always decline the guy kung hindi ko type. 'You'll be there, right?' I inquired.
"Well yeah but I don't think I can be of help should things go out of hand. I suggest na sa mataong
lugar ka makipag-kita. Saka sandali lang," payo nya.
I nodded. "Okay." I started rummaging my drawer for a decent outfit. Nag-aalangan tuloy ako kung
magpapaganda ako o yung okay lang. Kapag kase pangit yung ka-meet ko, baka sayang ang effort ko.
He shook his head disapprovingly. Great. I keep on forgetting that he could read my thoughts.
"Why are you, humans, so concerned with looks when it won't really last?"
"Looks matter, that's the reality. Para kase 'yang wrapper ng regalo. Kapag maganda ang pabalat,
maeengganyo kang buksan ang nasa loob. Parang book cover, kapag maganda ang cover, mae-engganyo kang
magbasa. Our physicality is the reflection of the impression we want to convey to other people."
"Yeah but that's talking about how you take care of yourself. That's not the problem. That's actually
a good concern. But you people look for beauty. Innate beauty that has to pass your society's
standards. Can't you see that all creatures were made beautiful? After all, we are all made in the
image of God."
"Tatanungin nga kita, si God ba may pimples? Meron ba Syang unlifats? Maitim ba sya? If we were truly
made in the image and likeness of God, ano na pala ang itsura Nya? Paki-explain kase hindi ko ma-
imagine." I looked up at the ceiling, imagining God glaring down on me. "Sorry po, nagtatanong lang."
He sighed. "Okay-put it this way. Imagine two rocks: one found in the river which has a smooth
surface and one that has been chunked from the side of the mountain, complete with holes and rough
surface. Which one is more beautiful for you?"
"The smooth one of course," I answered honestly.
"See! That's the problem! The correct answer should be none because they are equally beautiful. The
smooth rock is like a cloudless sky. Pretty, right? The hard rock is like the starry night sky. It
has lots of irregularities with all those stars looking like punctured holes but it was still
beautiful, right?"
"Well... if you out it that way-"
"Your society has a much distorted view on beauty," naiiling niyang sabi. "You look for flaws and if
you see them, you deem them ugly. But flaws are there to make something more beautiful that they
already are."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Why not help me pick up an outfit rather than schooling me?"
"Sorry. I got carried away." He grinned.
In the end, we both agreed on gray skinny pants ("Wag kang mag-dress. Mas madaling tumakbo ng naka-
pants."), blue loose sleeveless blouse with a cardigan overcoat ("Body-hugging shirts will definitely
get you to trouble."), a blue and gray bonnet ("So that he'd have no chance to grab you by the
hair.") and black and baby blue Chucks ("Heels will be your mortal enemies kapag nauwi kayo sa
habulan.")
--
'Can you see him? He's wearing a blue shirt and black hoodie. Saka may dala raw syang bulaklak.' I
instructed Cupid to be my lookout. Para habang malayo pa lang, pwede na nyang sabihin sa 'kin kung
pangit (o hindi masyadong gwapo) o gwapo ang kikitain ko. That way, I can decide beforehand whether I
will stay or run for my life.
I heard him chuckle.
'What?' I snapped at him.
Tumikhim siya. "You should probably have worn that dress."
I followed his gaze until my eyes landed on a guy with blue shirt under his hoodie and a bouquet of
flowers in his hands. My heart sank. I definitely should have worn my dress. In fact, I should have
worn my best one.
Standing a few feet across me is non-other than Joseph Marco.
####################################
Chapter 11: Joseph Marco
####################################
I was all smiles. For the first time in months, I didn't care about those red strings around me. For
once, I wasn't bothered by the fact na wala ako noon. Dahil 'yung taong gusto ko ay may gusto rin sa
akin. And I did it without any matchmaking help.
"You're making a mistake," I heard him say for the nth time.
'I'm only human, I'm bound to make mistakes,' dahilan ko sa kanya. I regretted it the instant it came
out of my mouth. I seemed to have forgotten how touchy he's been this past few days on the subject of
mistakes, having made one he's not supposed to.
"It's alright. It's okay for you to be tactless sometimes," he said. Hindi ko nagustuhan ang tono ng
pananalita nya. Parang nanghuhusga na ewan. "Sorry," dagdag niya.
I grunted. 'Stop reading my mind!'
"Okay ka lang?" tanong sa akin ni Joseph.
I turned to smile at him. "Yeah. Where are we going?"
He scratched his name as he gave me the boyish smile he's most famous for. "I actually didn't think
you'd go with me kaya hindi ako nakapag-plano. I'm sorry."
He didn't think I'd go with him? But why won't I? Kung sya ang mag-aaya, sasama ako kahit saan!
'I'm kidding,' I said when Cupid faked a cough. He gave me a forced smile in response.
Dahil walang kaplano-plano si Joseph kung saan kami pupunta, ako na lang ang nag-suggest. It's fun
kahit pa nauubos ang oras namin sa pag-iisip kung saan kami susunod na pupunta o kung saan kakain o
kung anong movie ang papanuorin. Being with him is kind of refreshing.
Buoyant kase ang personality nya. Palagi syang upbeat at nakangiti. Magaang kasama.
"Ako ba hindi magaang kasama?" tanong naman nitong isa. I sighed and gave him a quick smile bago kami
pumasok ni Joseph sa movie house.
--
We became the topic of the entire buzz at school, obviously. I have totally predicted it. Joseph kept
on sending me apologetic text messages since I entered the school premise. Alam nya kaseng kinuyog
ako sa faculty ng mga co-teachers ko for the juicy details of our date.
Pati mga estudyante nakikigulo! Susme! Daig ko pa ang nanalo sa beauty pageant.
"Ma'am kumusta po yung date nyo ni Sir Marco?" nakangiting tanong sa akin ng isa kong estudyanteng
babae pagkapasok ko pa lang ng classroom.
Alanganin na lamang akong ngumiti sa kanya. "Good morning class," bati ko sa mga estudyante ko.
"Good morning ma'am. How's your date?"
I glared at Jasper, who's grinning at me from his seat.
"Kwento naman dyan ma'am," untag naman ni Jason.
"Pakwento kayo ng pakwento. Ang tanong, nag-review ba kayo? May quiz tayo ngayon," sabi ko sa kanila.
Half of the class groaned. "Nakailang urong na yung quiz natin na 'yun ha. Kelangan nang i-push
today."
"Pero kwento nyo muna ma'am!" pamimilit nila. I rolled my eyes at them. Eto ang mahirap kapag medyo
ka-age mo 'yung mga estudyante mo eh. Ilang taon lang naman ang tanda ko sa kanila at hindi naman
halata sa akin na mas matanda ako sa kanila. May iba pa nga rito na nagiging estudyante ko kahit
matanda pa sa akin.
I slapped the table with my palm saka ko sila mataman na tiningnan. "Kayo talaga! Ang ti-tsismoso
nyo!"
Nagtawanan sila. Hindi ko na lang in-entertain 'yung pamimilit nila na magkwento ako. Instead, I
opened my manual and readied the questions for the quiz. Maya-maya'y narinig kong nagsimulang tumili
'yung mga girls on the side as they cast their prying eyes on the door. Sinundan ko sila ng tingin at
halos manlambot ang mga tuhod ko when I saw Joseph peeking from outside the room.
"Ayeeee! May lahing Chinese si Sir oh! Ang agang manligaw!" tudyo ng isa kong estudyante.
I shushed them. Saka ako lumapit sa pintuan, pigil hininga at ngiti, para itanong kung ano ang
kailangan nya.
"Sabay tayong mag-lunch mamaya?" nakangiti nyang tanong. It earned us another series of hoots and
jeers from the class.
"Sige, okay lang," I replied, trying my best to sound composed.
"Okay. Sige! I'll see you later!" He gave me one more of his boyish smiles saka sya nagpaalam sa
klase ko na puro tili lang ang isinagot sa kanya. Hiyang-hiya akong bumalik sa harapan nila. Ano na
nga ba ulit ang iki-quiz ko? I sighed. My mind got hay-wired again.
"Yehey! Wala ng quiz! Kinikilig si ma'am!"
"Heh!" saway ko kay Jason.
Tinawanan na naman nila ako.
"Get one whole sheet of paper," I said to them. Nagsimula na naman silang magreklamo. Napabuntong-
hininga na lang ako. "Fine. Bukas na lang."
"Cool! Sana araw-araw na lang kayong in love ma'am!"

Napangiti na lang ako sa tinuran nila. Sana nga araw-araw na lang akong in love. Feeling ko mas
maganda ako kay Silvia!
--
"You have to stop. Seriously Mina, you're killing me!"
Hindi ko sya pinansin. Kanina ko pa sya hindi pinapansin. Nakakabwiset na kase. He kept on telling me
na bawal ang ginagawa ko. Hindi dapat. Hindi tama. Dapat ba palaging tama ang ginagawa ko?
He has this pained expression on his face. Binabasa nya na naman ang nasa isip ko. I mentally sighed.
I suddenly realized na bigla na lamang tumigil sa pagsasalita si Joseph. Our surroundings became
eerily quiet.
I rolled my eyes at Cupid. Great. Another time-warp.
"Why aren't you listening to me?!" singhal niya. This is the very first time I've seen him angry.
"Why do you keep on pestering me?!" pabalik ko namang tanong. "Wala na ba akong karapatang gawin ang
gusto ko?!"
"You know it's wrong Mina," he said sternly.
"I know. But we have this human expression na masarap ang bawal. I'm enjoying this so piss off, will
you? You're the one who dragged me into this. Kung hindi dahil sa pagkakamaling ginawa mo, eh di sana
normal pa ang buhay ko ngayon!" sumbat ko sa kanya. "So don't tell me what's right and wrong. Wala
kang karapatan na pangaralan ako!"
He was surprised with my sudden outburst. The tip of his ears turned pink. If flustered by anger or
embarrassment, I couldn't really tell. I wanted to say sorry that instant pero pinigilan ko ang
sarili ko. Besides, he already knows that I felt guilty. Palagi nya kaseng binabasa ang nasa isip ko
ng walang pahintulot mula sa 'kin-another thing I should be angry about.
He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and he pushed it to my hand. "Read this later. I don't
want to see your reaction," he said. Tumayo siya at umalis, leaving me alone.
When he was finally gone, I unfolded the paper and looked at what it says. Written in golden ink,
scribbled so beautifully, are names. Names of the people I have to match, apparently.
And written at the very end are the names of two people, one I utterly hate and one I am just
learning to love:
Silvia Diana Cortado - Joseph Neil Marco
--
A few days have passed mula noong nag-walk out si Cupid. Until now, hindi pa rin sya bumabalik. I
guess nasaktan talaga sya sa sinabi ko. Nasaan na kaya sya? I can't do this task alone. No, not
without his help.
Pero saan ko naman sya hahanapin?
"Mina!" Bigla-biglang may dalawang makikinis na braso ang naramdaman kong yumakap sa akin. I looked
to my left at muntikan ko nang makahalikan si Miranda-I mean Psyche!
"Psyche!" Mabuti na lamang at wala akong pasok ngayon. I got so bored, muntik ko ng maisipang sumubok
mag-yoga. Wala sina Ate Aly dahil sa trabaho kaya mag-isa ako sa bahay. Halos mapanisan na ako ng
laway dahil wala akong makausap.
Si Joseph naman, hindi ko pwedeng abalahin maya't maya dahil may klase yun.
"Sorry. Nagulat ba kita?" natatawa nyang tanong. "I just missed hanging out with you. The guy's up
there are too busy with their jobs. Wala akong makausap." She pouted. She looked so cute! Gosh.
Parang unti-unting nawawala ang pagka-depress ko na dala ng absence ni Cupid.
"It's okay," I replied to her.
"How are you?" Sa tono ng pagtatanong nya, parang may specific syang gustong malaman. And I know what
that is.
"I'm okay," I lied. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko ngayon given na wala si
Cupid. How can I do my task properly? Kailangan ko ng guide sa mga ganitong bagay. "Nasaan nga pala
si Cupid?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Taking a break," she answered. "He sent me here para bantayan kita."
"Kelan sya babalik?"
Psyche shrugged. "Beats me."
"Hindi ba nya sinabi sa 'yo?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
Umiling sya. "He was keeping quiet these past few days. Kinausap nya nga lang ako when he asked me to
keep an eye on you while he was away." Kumunot ang noo niya. "Ano ba'ng nangyari?"
Wala akong nagawa kundi ikwento sa kanya ang puno't dulo ng tampuhan namin ni Cupid. It seemed so
childish now that I think of it. To think na pareho kaming adults pero ni hindi namin napag-usapan ng
maayos ang isang simpleng misunderstanding.
Then I also told her about the list Cupid gave me.
"He's just concerned about you, you know? He dragged you into this mess. Ayaw na nyang dagdagan ang
problema mo. He knows how hard it is to fall for someone who can't be with you. He's just saving you
from the hurt," Psyche commented when I was finished with my story.
Now I feel even guiltier.
"I guess I didn't understand his intentions. Akala ko kase gusto lang nyang mag-focus ako sa task at
hand. Akala ko sarili nya lang ang inaalala nya."
She smiled at me. "He's not like that. Yes, he's becoming more human every day pero hindi sya
nakakalimot na unahin ang iba bago ang sarili nya. Ayaw nya lang na masaktan ka sa huli and he's
becoming more and more vulnerable, Mina. He wants to end this detention sooner to free himself from
the hurt. Habang tumatagal ang detention nya, lalo syang nagiging miserable."
"Is there no other way to end this? Bakit hindi na lang tanggalin 'yung certain feeling na 'yun sa
kanya so everybody happy, di ba?"
"Mina, if we do things the easy way, we will never learn to value the fruits of our success. It won't
even be a success if you did not work hard to earn it. Hindi lahat pwedeng daanin sa shortcut."
I casted a downward glance. Ramdam na ramdam ko 'yung kaibahan ko sa kanila. They're all into doing
good to others samantalang ako hindi maiwasang maging selfish minsan.
"Psyche, can I ask you something?"

She nodded. "Sure, anything."
"Yung babaeng gusto ni Cupid, kilala mo ba sya?"
Her eyes widened in surprise. It seems like she did not see it coming. Medyo naninibago ako. Usually,
with Cupid, first word pa lang ang nasasabi ko, nasasagot nya na. Minsan nga hindi ko na kailangang
i-voice out ang tanong ko.
Sinasagot nya na.
"I don't think I should answer that."
I frowned at her. "Pero kilala mo kung sino?"
Bumuntong-hininga muna siya bago tumango. "Yes, I do."
"Kilala ko rin ba?" pangungulit ko sa kanya.
She shrugged. "Maybe," sagot nya sabay ngiti.
I wrinkled my nose. "Daya!"
Tumawa sya. "If I say no, you won't believe me. If I say yes, you will not stop asking questions
until I reveal to you who that is. So... maybe na lang."
"Hindi kita kukulitin promise!" I even raised my right hand as pledge but she just smiled and shook
her head.
"You humans are too curious for your own good. Let him be the one to tell you Mina. I don't want to
meddle with his personal affairs. Baka magalit sya sa 'kin."
I sighed. "Fine." Siguro naman sasabihin din sa 'kin ni Cupid kung sino pagdating ng tamang panahon.
Angels are very into that-right timing. Palagi akong pinapaalalahanan ni Cupid na lahat ng bagay eh
may kanya-kanyang time. They will reveal themselves when it's the right time. Ang problema, maikli
ang pasensya ko. "Psyche," untag ko sa katabi ko.
"O?"
"Tingin mo okay lang si Cupid?"
"He'll manage."
--
Halos isang linggo na rin mula noong bigla na lamang nag-leave si Cupid. Si Psyche pa rin ang kasama
ko. Hindi sya masyadong helpful kapag may ibang tao dahil hindi nya nababasa ang nasa isip ko.
Minsan, nagku-communicate kami thru text messages or notes. Akala pa nga ni Joseph may iba akong
kausap na lalaki dahil palagi kong hawak ang phone ko kahit magkasama kami.
Hindi ko naman pwedeng sabihin na anghel ang kausap ko at baka masabihan nya akong may sayad.
In a way, namimiss ko rin si Cupid kaya lang, paano ko naman sya pababalikin eh hindi ko alam kung
nasan sya? Saka mas nakakatuwang kasama si Psyche. Palaging nakangiti saka nakiki-ride sa mga trip
ko.
Si Cupid kase masyadong preachy minsan. Palaging may pangaral tungkol sa ganito, ganyan.
Pero nakakamiss pa rin sya nevertheless.
"Ma'am!"
Napasapo ako sa dibdib ko nang may biglang sumigaw. Si Jasper lang pala.
"Oh bakit?" Bakit ba sa tuwing vacant nila eh ako ang inaabala ng batang 'to? Dahil ba vacant ko rin
o crush nya 'ko? Ha-scratch the latter.
Naupo si Jasper sa tabi ko. Nandito na naman ako sa paboritong tambayan ko, study area. Ayokong
palaging kasama si Joseph. Natatapakan palagi ang buhok ko. Ang haba na kasi.
"Ma'am, may tanong ako," seryoso nyang sabi.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ano?"
"Paano mo malalaman kung gusto ka rin ng isang babae? Halimbawa, friends na kayo tapos gusto mo sya
pero hindi ka sure kung gusto ka rin nya more than a friend o sadyang sweet lang sya sa 'yo kase nag-
iisa ka lang na kaibigan nya... na lalaki."
I opened my mouth to say something but I ended up half-laughing, half-shocked. Napaturo ako sa kanya.
"Don't tell me-"
Bahagya syang namula. "M-May nagpapatanong lang po," sagot nya. That's a lie. Halata.
"Well, sabihin mo sa nagpapatanong na hindi nya kamo malalaman hanggat hindi nya itatanong doon sa
kaibigan nya kung hanggang friends lang ba sila," I replied to him.
Napakamot-ulo sya. "Eh kase ma'am baka ano eh... layuan lang sya nung babae."
"Sure ba sya na lalayuan sya? Malay mo naman... she feels the same, di ba?"
"Eh pano po kung hindi?" nag-aalangan nyang tanong.
I shrugged. "Then hindi. Eh di stay as friends. At least nalaman nya na hindi, di ba? Kesa 'yung
forever na nanghuhula."
"Mahirap po kase," he muttered.
"Mahirap talaga. Eh mas mahirap naman 'yung nanghuhula lang di ba? Sayang ang oras! Take risks dapat!
Malay mo naman mag-work!" pursigido kong sabi. Tinapik ko sya sa balikat at buong kaseryosohan akong
nagpatuloy, "Try mo lang Jasper. Ligawan mo na si Krisnel. Malay mo naman gusto ka rin nya."
Tumingin sya sa akin na parang hindi makapaniwala. Saka sya biglang tumayo. "Hindi naman ako yun
ma'am eh! Pero sige po, makakarating sa nagpapatanong."
Tumalikod na sya at naglakad paalis pero ang nakakatuwa... nakangiti sya.

####################################
Chapter 12: First Heart
####################################
I just realized that Friday was the last day of class for the second semester. Meaning, bakasyon na!
I was already packed Thursday night dahil aalis na ako ng Biyernes ng hapon. Sina Kuya, maiiwan dito
sa Makati dahil may trabaho sila.
Nagpapapirma na lang ng clearance ang mga estudyante. Graduation na next week pero hindi ako a-
attend. Gusto ko ng umuwi. Kukumustahin ko si Ate Jen. Na-bother ako dun sa sinabi ni Cupid sa akin
dati eh. If that is true, naaawa ako kay Ate Jen at Kuya Kyle.
"Ma'am!"
I groaned. Heto na naman ang pinaka-makulit ko na yatang estudyante-si Jasper.
"Yes?" walang kalatoy-latoy kong sabi sa kanya.
He was standing across my desk at the faculty room. Nasa pinakang-likod ako, nag-aayos ng mga dapat
ayusin before I go to my summer vacation.
He put both his hands on my table saka sya nag-lean forward. "Ma'am," bulong nya. "Kinakabahan ako,"
seryoso nyang sabi.
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Huh?"
He fished out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. He handed it to me saying, "Sabihin mo nga
ma'am kung okay na."
Binasa ko 'yung nakasulat. Akala ko nga noong una, prescription ng doktor. Love letter pala. Gusto
kong matawa. Ang awkward! It's so hard to keep a straight face while he was there, just staring and
waiting for my comment.
"Err-" I looked up to him then back to the paper in my hand and knew this won't work out. He has a
very crappy way of conveying his emotion thru writing. "Why don't you just ask her out?"
He scratched his head, looking worried. "Eh nahihiya po kase akong magsabi," sagot nya.
I slapped the table noisily."Ano ka ba! Ang angas-angas mong tingnan tapos totorpe-torpe ka naman!"
Bahagya syang namula sa sinabi ko. "Ma'am naman..."
I looked him right in the eyes and sighed upon seeing him looking so weary. Seriously, 'wag nyang
sabihing hindi pa sya nagkaka-girlfriend or at least nakaranas manligaw?
"Trust me Jasper, you'll be just fine," I said. Tumayo ako at tinapik sya sa balikat.
--
Bago ako umuwi ng San Martin, ibinigay ko muna kay Joseph ang isang piraso ng papel na may sulat ng
address ko at ways papunta sa probinsya namin. Malay ko ba naman, baka gusto nyang mamanhikan... I
mean, dumalaw. Mamamatay sa inggit 'yung mga single kong pinsan kung sakali.
Sa aming magpipinsan, ako ang madalas na single. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako masyadong
appealing. Lalo na nung high school, ako lang yata ang grumaduate na NBSB.
Siguro late-bloomer ako. May admirer-stalker-naman ako noon at mangilan-ngilang manliligaw pero ayun
nga... hindi ko naman gusto.
Halos twelve hours ang byahe papunta sa amin through bus. I was fast asleep for a few hours. Nang
mag-umaga na, kinwento ako ng kinwento ni Psyche. Nasa pinakang-likuran kami ng bus. Sa pinaka-sulok.
Nilagay ko ang bag ko sa pinakang-gilid at dun sya naupo sa ibabaw nun.
She was talking while I reply in writing. May hawak akong sketch pad na sinusulatan ko. Medyo mahirap
nga dahil pa-zigzag ang daan.
Nang mapansin ko namang tulog na ang mga pasaherong malapit sa pwesto namin, I got the chance to
mutter my replies. Lumapit nga lang sya para marinig nya ang bulong ko. Plus pa 'yun. Kinikilig ako
sa kanya. Ang ganda nya kase.
After the very long bus ride, we finally arrived at our place. Sumakay ako ng tricycle na nakaparada
sa may terminal. Tapos after fifteen minutes, nakarating na rin ako sa 'min. Marami na namang tao.
Summer na eh. Nagsiuwian na rin 'yung mga pinsan at pamangkin ko na nagsisipag-aral.
Nagpahanda si mama ng mala-pyestang salu-salo dahil dumating ang paborito nyang anak-ako. Hindi nya
paborito si Kuya kase ako ang babae. Nang magtipon-tipon kaming magkakamag-anak ay saka ko lang
napansin si Ate Jen. Nasa isang sulok sya at tahimik na kumakain.
Tumayo ako mula sa pwesto ko at saka dinala ang pagkain ko papunta sa kanya. I sat next to her.
"Hi Ate, kamusta?"
She smiled at me. "Okay naman. Ikaw? Balita ko may gwapo kang manliligaw ah!" tudyo nya sa 'kin. Hala
si mama talaga. Ipinagkalat na yata sa lahat ng kamag-anak ko ang tungkol kay Joseph. Naku baka kapag
pumunta 'yun dito, hindi na pabalikin ng Maynila at basta na lang kami ipakasal!
"Hindi naman kagwapuhan ate. Konti lang."
"Asus! May picture ka? Patingin!"
Tumawa na lang ako. "Wala ate. Sa FB meron. Tingnan mo na lang. Nga pala, kumusta ang buhay may-
asawa? Masaya ba?"
She shrugged. "Okay naman." Pero hindi umabot sa mga mata nya 'yung ngiti nya. I mentally sighed.
Siguro kung napaaga lang ako sa paghiling, sana masaya na si Ate Jen sa piling ni Kuya Kyle ngayon.
Paborito ko pa naman syang pinsan. Ayoko syang nalulungkot.
--
Matapos ang mahabang kwentuhan with my family, I excused myself and resigned to my room. Sumalampak
ako sa kama ko. Pagod na pagod ako sa byahe grabe!
Naramdaman kong may naupo sa gilid ng kama.Pagtunghay ko, nakita kong ngumiti si Psyche.
"I have something for you," sabi nya.
"Ano naman 'yan?"
She brought out the jar, the one I need to fill with six pairs of hearts. Napabalikwas ako ng bangon
nang mapansin kong may laman na ito. Kaso iisa!
"Bakit iisa?!" dismayado kong tanong sa kanya. Iisa lang ang nakalagay sa loob ng jar. One piece of
heart with a name Jasper engraved in it. Bakit wala 'yung kay Krisnel? Aren't I supposed to gather a
pair?
"It seems like only he has committed. Hindi pa nagku-commit si Krisnel so you can't earn her heart
yet." Ibinigay nya sa akin ang jar. "I'll be going now Mina."
"Teka!" pigil ko sa kanya. "'Wag mo 'kong iwan! How am I supposed to know what to do next?" tanong ko
sa kanya.
"Oh you will," she said with a wink... then she was gone.
Napasandal ako sa headrest habang tinitingnan kong mabuti 'yung jar. Iisang puso lang ang nakalagay.
Kalahati ng isang pares. It means that the task is not really done. Pero paano kaya nangyari 'yun?
Umamin na siguro si Jasper kay Krisnel... and then he committed perhaps?
I sighed. Well, it's better than nothing.
"It really is better than nothing."
I almost jumped out of bed when I heard a voice. Paglingon ko sa kaliwa ko, katabi ko na si Cupid!
"Cupid!" I shrieked. Without even thinking twice, sinunggaban ko sya ng yakap. Akalain mo 'yung
namimiss ko rin pala sya!
I heard him chuckle. "I missed you too."
"Mina!"
Agad akong napahiwalay sa kanya nang marinig ko ang boses ni mama. Bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto ko.
"Bakit ka sumisigaw dyan?" tanong nya.
"Wala po! May nakita lang akong ipis," dahilan ko kay mama.
"Ipis? Saan?" Akmang titingin sa ilalim ng kama si mama nang pigilan ko sya.
"Wala na po. Umalis na."
Kumunot ang noo ni mama. "Gusto mo ba'ng patingnan ko sa Tiyo Popoy mo?"
Umiling ako. "Wag na po." I faked a yawn. "Inaantok na 'ko ma. Pakigising na lang ako mamaya kapag
kakain na."
"Hmm, sya sige." Naglakad si mama papunta sa may pintuan. Tapos ay nilingon nya ako. "Ano'ng gusto
mong kainin mamaya?"
"Kahit ano po."
Siguro mukha na talaga akong pagod mula sa byahe kaya hindi na ako kinulit pa ni mama. Pagkalabas na
pagkalabas nya ng kwarto ay agad kong nilingon itong katabi ko na halos tatlong linggo ko ring hindi
nakita.
"Where have you been?!" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nagbakasyon lang," sagot niya ng nakangiti.
"Saan ka pumunta?"
He shrugged. "Sa tabi-tabi lang," sagot nya.
I squinted at him. "Wag mo na ulit akong lalayasan ha! I had a hard time communicating with Psyche.
Hindi naman kase mind reader 'yun eh."
"I thought you don't like having your thoughts read?" taka nyang tanong.
"Well... it comes in handy sometimes."
Sumandal rin sya sa headrest sa tabi ko. "So...?" he asked in an inquiring tone.
"So?"
"Did you think about what I said before I left?"
I sighed. "Well..." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Paano ba? Paano ko ba sasabihin sa kanya-mababasa nya rin
naman ang nasa isip ko. There's no point in hiding. "Look, I know it's wrong and you're just
concerned that I might get hurt if I continue this pero..."
Bigla syang nailing saka sya nagtaas ng dalawang kamay. "I give up," he said in resignation.
"Look, this task already robbed me off my choices. At least let me have some fun while I still can.
Pangako, kapag nandyan na 'yung tamang oras, bibitaw na 'ko."
Tumingin sya sa 'kin ng mataman. I didn't know if he believed in what I said but knowing him, he
probably didn't. Maybe he sensed my determination kaya napabuntong-hininga na lang sya ng malalim.
"Fine, fine," he said in resignation. "Magpahinga ka na. I'll show you something later," sabi nya.
"Ikaw? Pano ka?" Nahiga ako at nagtalukbong. Summer na pero malamig pa rin. Abnormal ang weather dito
sa 'min. Mamayang gabi siguro, uulan na naman. Umulan kagabi sa byahe eh.
"Don't mind me. I'll find something to do." He stood up from the bed but I stopped him.
"Cupid..."
"Hmmm?"
I smiled at him. "I'm glad you're back."
Gumanti sya ng ngiti then he stooped down and kissed me on the forehead. "Sleep tight," bulong nya.
Next thing I knew, I was slowly drifting to sleep.
####################################
Chapter 13: First Love Never Dies
####################################
Hindi na kami nakalabas ni Cupid ng hapon dahil pagkagising ko, umaga na the next day. Bumalikwas ako
ng bangon dahil sa nataranta ako. In doing so, sumakit ng sobra ang ulo ko.
Cupid pulled my head and leaned it on his shoulder. Pumikit ako sa antok. "Dapat kase hindi ka bigla-
biglang bumabangon. Sasakit talaga ang ulo mo nyan," bulong nya sa 'kin. My head was still swimming
when another notion occurred to me.
Humilig ako sa may dibdib nya and I waited... I listened.
Nothing.
He has no heartbeat.
Tumikhim sya. "I told you. I'm as good as dead."
"B-But you did fall in love... how-"
I felt his shoulders rose and fell. He must have shrugged. "Odd things happen." He brushed my hair.
"Are you feeling okay now?"
Sumandal ako sa headrest. "Medyo," sagot ko. Napalitan yata yung sakit ng ulo ko nang sangdamakmak na
namang tanong. He has no heartbeat? Seriously? "San dapat tayo pupunta kahapon?"
He smiled at me. "I want to show you something incredible. But you need to take a bath and eat
first."
--
Naligo ako at kumain. I did them both in haste. Pinagalitan pa nga ako ni mama dahil halos mabulunan
ako kakamadali. Excited na ako sa sinasabi ni Cupid na something incredible. Kapag sya ang nagsabi
nun, expect to really be amazed.
'Where are we going?' pangatlong tanong ko sa kanya.
"Why are you so hyped up?" he asked in amusement.
'Eee dali na! Sabihin mo na kase!' pagpupumilit ko.
Tinawanan nya ako. "Patience, okay? We'll get there."
Naglakad kami palabas ng bahay, on to the busy street. Kumaliwa kami sa unang kanto. Malapit na kami
sa may plaza when he finally stopped walking. He pointed at the small store on the other side of the
street. Tindahan iyon ng mga kakanin na gawa ni Lola Ghen. She's famous here for her homemade puto
and kutsinta na ever since mga bata kami eh paborito na namin.
Nakita kong tumawid ng daan si Lolo RB-short for Roberto Bartolome-papunta sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen.
Sya ang number one suki ng mga tinda ni Lola Ghen. He goes there everyday para bumili ng ilang piraso
ng puto. Nakakatuwa nga. Aakalain mong araw-araw nanliligaw si Lolo RB kay Lola Ghen.
My grin faded when I realized something. Strings! Although very faint, it was still evident that
those two have connecting strings at habang lumalapit si Lolo RB kay Lola Ghen ay lalo itong nagiging
malinaw. And then it happened.
The string glowed.
'What the-'
"During my stay here, I found something amazing. Did you know that they have been in love with each
other since the 1970s?"
I gaped at him. 'But that can't be! Pareho silang kasal sa iba at-' Naalala ko yung nakasulat sa
parchment na ibinigay nya sa akin before he left. Akala ko naman ibang Geneva at Robert 'yun. Sina
Lola Ghen pala...
Tumango-tango sya. "I know. Amazing, isn't it? They should have been together. It would have been
right. They've been in love with each other ever since they first laid eyes to one another. Pero
hindi eh. Ghen was forced to marry an American. Nagustuhan kase sya nito. He asked for her hand in
marriage and her family, being in their poor state for so long, agreed. Naging maalwan ang buhay nila
pagkatapos. RB was broken-hearted. He got married though, a few years later, to his childhood friend.
Now, after so many children and grandchildren later, heto sila..."
'Pareho na silang balo.' Lola Ghen's husband died of heart attack. Ang asawa naman ni Lolo RB ay
namatay sa panganganak sa pangalawa nito.
"If you are meant for each other, no matter who else you meet or where else you go, you'll always
come back to the one you're supposed to end up with. Fate really is a beautiful thing." Tumingin sya
sa akin at ngumiti. "And that is your project for this summer. You have to bring those two together."
'What?! Ayoko nga! Magalit pa yung mga anak at apo nila sa 'kin!' tanggi ko. Crush ko pa naman si
Kuya Rodney. Apo sa tuhod ni Lola Ghen 'yun. Matanda ng tatlong taon sa 'kin. Crush ko 'yun when I
was in high school. Antay-antay ko pa ngang ligawan ako nun kaso hindi nangyari.
Paano kaya sila magre-react kapag nagkatuluyan 'yung dalawang matanda?
"Ghen and RB belong to each other. They deserve their own happy ending, don't you think?"
I frowned at him. 'Why do you talk about them as if you're of the same age? Di ka ba marunong
gumalang?'
"I actually am older than them. Way older," he replied.
'How old are you exactly?'
He shrugged. "I'm not sure." He turned around and started walking back to the house. "Let's go."
Sinundan ko sya, taking two steps at a time to catch up with his long strides. 'What do you mean
you're not sure?'
"Means hindi ko alam. I've been around for centuries. Antigo na 'ko," sabi nya ng nakangisi.
'Ah. In fairness naman sa 'yo... di halata.'
"Syempre-wait, come here." Bigla nya akong hinila. I knew I was now invisible to other people dahil
hawak nya ang kamay ko. Ano bang meron? Urgent ba?
"Bakit?" takang-tanong ko sa kanya. He simply grinned in response. Clueless talaga ako until two guys
passed by us. "Si Kuya-" Si Kuya Rodney! Nandito pala sya?! "Bitiw muna! Teka!" pamimilit ko kay
Cupid. Nyemas! Ayaw akong bitawan! Hindi tuloy ako makita o marinig ni Kuya Rodney!
Tatawa-tawa lang sya habang hinihila ako palayo. Kainis.
"Sinadya mo 'yun noh! Alam mong dadaan si Kuya!" I accused him. Tinawanan lang nya ako.
"So? Are you going to punish me for it? Sige ka, baka umalis ulit ako," banta niya. I squinted my
eyes at him. He sighed. "Come on. I just want to walk and talk with you like I'm a normal person."
"Fine," I huffed. "Where do you want to go?"
He shrugged. "Anywhere."
So we went anywhere. Nagpunta kami sa plaza, naningin ng mga tinda sa souvenir shops, nagpunta sa
park na maraming batang naglalaro. It's kinda nice to be able to see people without restraint. Yung
malaya kang mag-observe sa kanila. You can stare all you want without being reprimanded.
"This is not a nice life to live Mina. Don't even think about it," he warned.
I pouted. "Bakit ba ang hilig mong mangaral?"
"Because I'm older than you. I've seen things you can't even begin to imagine. Trust me, you'd rather
die than live a day like this."
"But you've been living it every day." I kind of feel sad for him. Naiintindihan ko na kung bakit
ayaw nyang maging kami ni Joseph. Kung sakali mang hindi ko matupad 'yung task... he'll be like this
forever.
Isipin ko pa lang, nasasaktan na 'ko. Pano pa kaya sya na may possibility na makaranas nun?
"Well, it has its perks."
--
Perks? If he meant stealing, then he's way out of bounds! Kumuha ba naman sya ng isang cheesecake na
nakadisplay sa isang tindahan na tinigilan namin!
"Hoy! Ibalik mo yan!" saway ko sa kanya. "Kaya ka nadi-detention eh, pasaway ka!"
"Sino ba'ng may sabing ninanakaw ko 'to? Bayaran mo," utos nya. Grunting, I fished out a ten peso
coin from my pocket. Inilagay ko iyon sa lalagyanan ng mga cheesecakes na kinuhaan nya.
He opened the plastic seal with his teeth (kase nakahawak sa 'kin yung isa) and then he offered the
cheesecake to me. "Gusto mo?" tanong niya.
I wrinkled my nose at him. "Wag na. Sawa na 'ko dyan. Uwi na lang tayo."
He shrugged and said, "Okay." Saka kami naglakad pauwi.
Kakapasok pa lang namin ng gate nang mapansin kong palabas naman 'yung isang tricycle. Mukhang
naghatid yata hanggang looban. Nang makarating kami sa mismong tapat ng bahay, mukhang nagkakagulo.
Ano kayang meron?
"Tingnan natin," sabi ko kay Cupid. He stopped walking and tugged back at my hand. "What's wrong?"
tanong ko.
"Pwede bang gumala pa tayo?" nakangiti nyang tanong.
I groaned inwardly. "Kanina pa tayo gala ng gala eh. Bukas naman! Ipapasyal pa kita sa falls na
malapit dito."
"Eh di ngayon na lang."
I sighed. "Next time na lang, okay? Nagugutom na rin ako. Hindi pa ako nakakapag-lunch." Bumitaw ako
sa kanya saka ako nakitumpok sa mga kamag-anak kong nagkakagulo. "Ma! Ano'ng meron?"
Biglang nahawan 'yung nagkukumpulan.
"Hi Mina."
Napamulagat ako nang makita ko si Joseph na napapaligiran ng mag relatives ko.
"Pinsan! In fairness ha! Ang gwapo!" one of my cousins commented unabashed. Bahagyang nag-init ang
mukha ko. He followed me here! He followed me! And only a day later!
Bakit? Talaga bang tamado sa 'kin ang taong 'to?
"Sumunod ka?"
"Well yeah... I figured I'd take a week's worth of vacation here before going to my province next
week. Okay lang naman, di ba?" Kumunot ang noo nya.
"Oo naman!" Si mama ang sumagot. "Nagugutom ka na ba hijo? Magpapahanda ako ng pagkain." Nilingon nya
ako. "Sabayan mo sa pagkain itong bisita mo Karmina. Hindi ka pa nanananghalian."
"Opo," sagot ko na lang para tapos na ang usapan.
Sama-sama silang pumasok sa bahay. Yung mga pinsan ko may balak pa yatang kumain na naman makasabay
lang kay Joseph.
'Cupid ikaw, gusto mong-' Nasan na kaya 'yun? Kanina lang nasa bandang likuran ko sya ah...
####################################
Chapter 14: Losing Touch
####################################
Tapos na kaming mag-dinner kasama si Joseph pero hindi pa rin bumabalik si Cupid. Great. Now I'm
worried. Ano na naman kaya ang problema nya? Ah... oo nga pala. He didn't like the fact that Joseph's
here.
I know it would be selfish of me to let myself fall for Joseph. Once I get too attached, baka hindi
ko magampanan ang task na dapat kong gawin. And it would devastate Cupid. He's my friend now. I don't
want him to be miserable forever. Kagaya nga ng sabi nya, everybody deserves a happy ending. Tao ka
man o hindi; mabuti ka man o masama... lahat tayo ay may karapatang sumaya.
"Hey..."
I looked to my right where Joseph was standing. Nasa terrace kaming dalawa, nagpapababa ng kinain. He
shrugged his jacket off saka nya ito inilagay sa balikat ko.
"Thanks."
He smiled at me. "Ang bait ng family mo. Welcome na welcome ako," natutuwa nyang sabi. Napatango na
lang ako. Hiyang-hiya nga ako sa kanya. Kung maka-anak naman kase si mama, akala mo balak na syang
ampunin. Who wouldn't want him anyway? Gwapo na, matalino at mabait pa. Saka masaya syang kasama.
"Bakit nga pala naisipan mong sumunod dito?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Well..." He looked away and scratched his nape. "Baka pagtawanan mo 'ko kapag sinabi ko."
Umiling ako. "I won't laugh. I promise." I raised my right hand as if pledging.
He sighed as he looked at the stars on the clear, night sky. Ito ang maganda sa probinsya. Kitang-
kita mo ang ganda ng langit. Walang makapal na usok. Walang nakakasilaw na man-made lights. May mga
kuliglig pa sa paligid na para bang kinakantahan kayo sa bawat huni.
"I followed you here because I got scared that you'll be leaving me forever. Alam ko... corny. Pero
alam mo 'yun? Ilang oras pa lang kitang hindi nakikita, parang nalulungkot na 'ko. Natakot ako na
baka hindi ka na bumalik." Hinawakan nya 'yung kamay ko. Grabe... kung hindi lang nakakahiya ang
himatayin sa tuwa, baka kanina pa ako nahimatay! "I know this sounds crazy but I think I..."
OMG. Magtatapat na ba sya? Although alam ko na kung ano'ng sasabihin nya, feeling ko magugulat pa rin
ako sa maririnig ko. Iba pa rin 'yung sasabihin mismo sa 'yo. 'Yung maririnig mo mismo mula sa taong
gusto mo na gusto ka rin nya.
"Ang dali-daling mahulog sa 'yo Mina."
I felt my cheeks heat up. Alam kong nagkukulay-kamatis na naman ako. Ang dali-dali ko pa namang
kiligin. "M-Mukha pala akong bangin?" I joked. Alam kong lame. Hay-wired kase ang utak ko kaya hindi
ako makapag-isip ng magandang banat.
He tilted my chin so I ended looking up at him. For a split second, parang gusto kong magback-out.
Umurong. I had the urge to excuse myself and hide. I've never felt more desired and loved. Hindi ako
sanay.
Pero kahit ano'ng kagustuhan kong umurong, hindi sumusunod ang katawan ko. My feet were firmly
planted on the ground. I couldn't move. I was just waiting for it to happen.
It was only when his lips were a few millimeters away from mine that I shut my eyes and waited. My
heart is pounding. My ears are ringing. My knees are turning into jelly. And then I felt it... the
softness of his lips. Napakawit ako sa batok niya for fear na baka mahimatay ako. If I were to
describe heaven in two words... it will be Joseph's kiss.
--
Morning came and I've never felt more elated. Sinagot ko na si Joseph kagabi. We're officially a
couple. Alam kong medyo mabilis but it felt so right. No wonder marami ang nagkakamali pagdating sa
pag-ibig. Even though I know it's wrong, I went for it. Pakiramdam ko kase tama. Bakit nga kaya
ganun? I would gladly hear the answer kaso wala pa rin 'yung dakilang matchmaker na mahilig mangaral.
Saan kaya sya nagpunta?
"Mina? Gising ka na ba anak?"
I groaned as I heard my mom's voice from outside the room. Tinanghali na naman ako ng gising. Mag-
aalas dose na. "Gising na po," sagot ko.
"Lumabas ka na dyan. Manananghalian na tayo."
"Opo..." inaantok kong sabi. Bumangon ako at nagsuklay. Mabuti na lang at malapit sa kwarto ko 'yung
CR sa taas. May tatlo kaming CR sa bahay. Isa sa second floor na katabi lang ng kwarto ko, isa sa
first floor na nasa may kusina at isa sa likuran ng bahay.
Naghilamos ako at nag-tooth brush. Gusto ko pa sanang maligo pero mamaya na lang. Nagugutom na 'ko.
Pinuntahan ko sila sa labas ng bahay. Nandun na naman sila sa bakuran namin. Hindi lang sampung tao
ang nakaupo sa hapag-kainan.
Nandun rin ang mga kasama namin sa bahay saka ang mga pinsan kong mas gusto pang dito mamalagi sa
amin kesa sa kanni-kanya nilang bahay. Kami ang nangangalaga ng lupaing iniwan ni Lolo kaya kami ang
nakatira rito.
May sariling bahay sina papa sa bayan pero mas gusto nila rito. Tahimik kase saka maginhawa.
Naupo ako sa tabi ni Joseph. He, in return, held my hand and smiled. And yes, alam na ng buong angkan
ko na kami na. Ipinamalita ni mama kagabi kaya napuyat ako sa pakikipagchat sa mga kamag-anak kong
nasa ibang bansa. Akala talaga nila tatanda akong dalaga dahil hindi lang ako writer, professor pa.
Ang tingin pa naman nila sa mga may trabaho na ganun ay mga running for old maidenship. Clearly,
hindi pa nila nakikilala si Silvia.
Todo asikaso si Joseph sa 'kin. Punuin ba naman ang plato ko ng pagkain. Ano'ng gusto nyang mangyari?
Lumobo ako?
"Ayeeee... ang sweet naman," puna ng isa kong pinsan.
"Alam mo ba hijo, simula nang dumating ka rito sa bahay, hindi na nawala ang ngiti nitong si Mina.
Patay na patay yata talaga yan sa 'yo," tudyo ni mama.
Pinandilatan ko sya. "Mama!" Tinawanan lang nila 'ko. Great. Nakakahiya talaga sa kanya. Nagsimula
silang magkwentuhan at ako ang topic. Gusto ko na talagang lumubog sa lupa lalo na nang ipinakuha ni
mama 'yung mga luma naming photo albums at pinakita kay Joseph yung mga childhood pictures ko.
Sobrang absorbed sila sa katuwaan nila na hindi na nila ako napansin. I stood up and left quietly.
'Cupid! Nasaan ka ba?!'
Hinanap ko sya sa buong bakuran namin, sunod sa bahay... hindi ko pa rin sya makita. I took a shot
and went near the old well again. Baka nandun sya.
True enough, he was there. He was sitting on the well's rim.
"Hoy! Nandito ka lang pala! Kagabi pa kita hinahanap!" He was busily plucking the petals off a
sunflower. Tinabihan ko sya. "Hoy..." untag ko. I bumped my shoulder on his. Hindi nya ako pinansin.
"So ganyan? Hindi ka mamamansin?"
"Leave me alone," he muttered.
"Is it about Joseph?" I sighed as he threw the last petal on the ground. "Look, I didn't invite him
here. Kusa syang sumunod. Hindi ko naman alam na susundan nya ako eh," paliwanag ko sa kanya.
"It doesn't matter."
"I swear! I didn't plan this. Sure, I gave him directions on how to get here pero-"
"Why are you explaining? I'm not asking you," he said coldly.
"Ano ba'ng problema mo ha? Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan?" Naiinis na 'ko ha. Kahapon pa 'ko nag-aalala
sa kanya tapos ganyan pa sya sa 'kin?
He looked at me then. His stare is icy. "Your boyfriend is coming this way."
True enough, nakita ko si Joseph mula sa malayo. Hinahanap yata ako. Agad akong kumapit kay Cupid.
Alam kong aalis na naman 'to eh. I saw Joseph stop. Tapos saka ito nagpalinga-linga. Hindi na ako
nakikita.
He then gave up looking and retraced his steps back to my relatives.
"What did you do that for?" takang-tanong niya.
"Gusto kitang kausapin eh, bakit ba? Now tell me... ano'ng pinag-iinarte mo dyan ha?"
He quickly looked away. "It's none of your concern."
"It is my concern!" pagpupumilit ko. "It's obvious that you have a problem with me and Joseph. Wala
ka bang tiwala na kaya kong tapusin ang task na pinapagawa mo? You think I'd let my feelings get in
the way? Yun ba ha?"
"Let go of my hand," utos nya.
"No."
He pulled his hand. I pulled back. At sa paghihilahan namin, napasubsob ako sa kanya. Great. Just
great. Magpakaisip-bata raw ba! I looked up to him while I rub my nose na tumama naman sa dibdib nya.
Napakunot-noo ako nang makita 'yung expression ng mukha nya. Gulat na gulat sya na parang takot na
ewan.
"Okay ka lang?" I asked in worry. Nakakatakot naman kase. Bigla-bigla na lang syang namutla na para
bang nakakita ng multo. Instead of answering, he pushed me away. Badtrip. Nagsusuplado na, ayaw pa na
nilalapitan sya. Ano'ng problema nito?
"What are you thinking of?" he asked.
I frowned. "You tell me," sagot ko sa kanya.
He shook his head. "I can't read your thoughts anymore."
"What?!" I gaped at him.
There he goes again with his pained expression. Bakit hindi nya na mabasa ang nasa isip ko? "When you
kissed, you somehow... connected. And that connection is blocking me from seeing your thoughts."
"You saw us kiss?"
Nag-iwas sya ng tingin. "Yeah."
Weird. Bakit naging awkward bigla? "S-So, when Joseph and I kissed, you were sort of... shut out?" He
nodded. "Paano na? Pano ko maibabalik 'yung dati?"
Umiling sya. "Hindi ko alam." He stood up and started walking away. I didn't even realize na
nabitawan ko na pala sya. Siguro dahil natuliro ako kanina nang makita ang expression ng mukha nya.
Seriously, what is wrong with him?
"Cupid!" I called out.
"Mina!" Nilingon ko ang tumawag. Si Joseph, patakbo syang lumapit sa akin. "Kanina pa kita hinahanap.
Nandito ka lang pala. Come on, ipasyal mo naman ako," nakangiti nyang sabi.
I looked at Cupid again. His back was still turned on me and he was still walking away. Tumango ako
kay Joseph. "Uhm... okay."
--
Night came and I was still bothered. There's something about the way he looked at me that's
disturbing. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng problema nya but I feel like it has something to do with me.
Actually, I feel like it had a lot to do with me.
"Mina!"
Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang may biglang yumakap sa 'kin. "Psyche!"
She beamed at me. "I have a surprise for you!" she cheerily said. Inilagay nya yung pareho nyang
kamay sa likuran nya and then after a few seconds, she revealed her surprise to me. 'Yung jar...
teka... parang dumami yata yung laman?
Dali-dali ko 'yung kinuha sa kanya and I almost choked when I saw the names. Sic and Aly. They
finally connected!
"Pano-" Hindi ko pa man nabubuo ang tanong ko nang biglang nag-ring 'yung phone ko. I picked it up in
haste and was mildly srprised to see Ate Aly's caller ID.
"Hello Ate?"
"Mina!" I sensed excitement in her voice. "Mina, oh my gosh! You won't believe what just happened!" I
think I have an idea of what happened but I let her go on. "Yung kuya mo! Yung kuya mo! Oh my God!"
"Kalma lang Ate!" medyo natatawa kong sabi. "Ano ba'ng nangyari?"
Medyo inilayo ko 'yung phone nang magsimulang umirit si Ate Aly. "Nagtapat na sya! OMG!" sabi nya
sabay likyaw.
"HA? Pano? Ano'ng sabi?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.
"Eh kase ganto..." She giggled before continuing. "Kanina kase, inihatid ako nung katrabaho ko sa
bahay. Kase may bali-balita ng rape malapit dun sa pinagta-trabahuhan ko. Eh gabing-gabi na ako uuwi.
So sabi nung manager ko, ihatid daw ako. Kahit hanggang sakayan lang. Eh 'yung katrabaho ko, sa
sobrang bait, inihatid ako hanggang bahay! Tapos ano..."
Pilit ko syang pinakalma kase parang gustong-gusto nya ng magwala. "Tapos?" I asked as I glance at
the grandfather's clock on my wall. Pasado alas-dose na pala.
"Tapos etong kuya mo, nag-aantay pala. Tapos ayun, nakita 'yung kasama ko. Pagkaalis nung naghatid sa
'kin, pinangaralan ako ng kuya mo. Bakit daw ako nagpapahatid. Kesyo pwede ko raw naman syang i-text
para masundo nya ako. Wala raw syang tiwala sa mga taga-Maynila blah blah blah. Tapos eh di ayun nga,
sinagot ko sya. Sabi ko, 'Concerned lang naman po 'yung tao sa 'kin. Alam nya kaseng babae ako at
baka ma-rape sa daan.' Eh di sumagot naman sya, 'Concerned din naman ako ah!' sabi nya o parang
ganun... Basta! Tapos eh di 'yun, nagkasagutan kami tapos..." Tapos umirit na naman sya. "Tapos
napaamin sya bigla! Oh my God!"
Ang hyper ni Ate Aly kapag excited. Sobra!
"Tapos ayun..." she continued. "Kami na."
Tuluyan na akong natawa. Wala ng ligaw-ligaw! Sila agad! Pero sabagay, ang tagal na rin kase nilang
friends eh. For sure, magce-celebrate pa sina nanay kapag nalaman nila.
"Eh Ate, nasan si Kuya?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nasa labas, bumibili ng alak saka pulutan. Mag-iinom daw kami!" sabi nya sabay tawa. Mga adik
talaga. Magce-celebrate rin pala sila. "Oy Mina! Sige na... nandito na yata ang kuya mo."
"Sige ate. Bye!"
"Bye Hipag!"
Naiiling kong in-end yung call. Ayaw ng matanggal ng ngiti ko. One pair down! Four and a half to go!
"Mina..."
Napataas ang kilay ko nang mawala na namang bigla si Psyche. In her place, stood Cupid.
"Oh ano?" I asked blandly.
His eyes are downcast. What is this? Is he fidgeting? "I-I have something to tell you."
####################################
Chapter 15: Forbidden
####################################
"What is it that you want to tell me?" Nakakalimang minuto na yata pero wala pa rin syang sinasabi.
Nakatayo lang kami pareho, a meter apart from each other. He was still looking down on the floor.
Nandun ba ang sasabihin nya? Nandun ba ang kodigo nya? I don't get him.
Humugot sya ng malalim na hininga. And then he did it again, three more times. Mukhang tensed na
tensed sya. Pati tuloy ako nababalisa.
"Well?" I asked.
"D-Do you still remember the reason why I got detention?" pabalik nyang tanong. He was now looking
straight at me though his lips are still trembling.
I nodded. "Yes. You said you got detention because you made a mistake of-"
"...of falling in love." My breath hitched when he took two steps closer. Bakit kaya ganito? Bakit
ako kinakabahan? "Falling in love with you."
I gasped in shock. No! Hindi pwede! Magugulo lang ang lahat. Arrrgh! The situation's complicated
enough as it is! Bakit kailangan pa nyang paguluhin lalo?
"S-Sinasabi mo lang yan para guluhin ang utak ko. Come on Cupid. Quit playing your dirty games. You
are not in love with me," mariin kong sabi.
"But I am." He touched my face and leaned closer. I could see my reflection in his eyes. Ang ganda
pala ng mata nya. Whatthe-no! Stop this nonsense Mina! "Why did you think that of all the people out
there who could do a better job than you, ikaw ang pinili para gawin ang trabaho na 'to?"
"B-Because you said I was special!" sagot ko. "Sabi mo, I have this... this golden streak meaning I
have the privilege to match people!"
"And you believed me?" he asked softly.
"So that's a lie?!" hindi ko makapaniwalang-tanong. All this time, I thought that the only reason why
God picked me out of all the people on Earth to fulfill this task was because I possessed that golden
streak. I actually thought I was special. All this time pala, nagsisinungaling lang sya.
"One good reason why we are forbidden to fall in love is that we become liars Mina. And I became a
very bad liar. I made mistake after mistake because of you. God was not happy that I fell in love. As
punishment, he made me take you under my wing as a matchmaker. Kapag nagawa mo ang trabaho na
iniatang sa 'yo, I will be rid off this feeling and you will have your string back. You will be able
to fall in love with someone else and I wouldn't care.
"If you fail, then we both become miserable. You will never have your soul mate back. I will be left
here on Earth to wander for eternity. Neither immortal nor human but something in between. A ghost...
I will be left here to see you become miserable while I roam around being miserable myself. Ayos lang
sana kung ako lang eh... pero nadamay ka pa. Mas nasasaktan ako kapag nasasaktan ka."
Hindi ko kinaya ang sunod na nangyari. He began crying. Ipinatong niya ang noo nya sa noo ko and his
tears started falling on my face. Bakit ganito? Parang nasasaktan ako para sa kanya.
I raised my hand to wipe his tears away. Pinahid ko rin ang mga luha nyang pumatak sa pisngi ko. It
was then that I realized that I was crying with him. Bakit ako umiiyak? Bakit ako nasasaktan?
I cry in silence as he pulled me in his arms. Para kaming tanga. Umiiyak kami pareho. At hindi ko
alam kung bakit ako naiiyak sa kanya.
"I love you so much... it kills me every time you're with him." I felt his embrace tighten. "It kills
me to know that I can't be with you. Kasama man kita o hindi, para akong pinapatay ng paulit-ulit."
I hugged him back. If only this would bring you comfort. If only this could console you. If only this
is enough to get rid you of your pain. "I'm sorry... sorry kung naging selfish ako."
I felt him shook his head. "Ako nga ang selfish eh. I dragged you into this tapos pinipigilan pa
kitang sumaya. Ang sama ko talaga." He let out a hollow laugh and loosened his embrace. He smiled at
me as he wiped his tears away. Saka nya isinunod 'yung akin. "Don't cry for me, Mina. I'm not worth
your tears."
Hinalikan nya ako sa noo. "I won't stop you anymore. Do whatever you want. Gusto kong maging masaya
ka."
"Paano ako sasaya kung alam ko namang mali ang ginagawa ko?" nakasimangot kong tanong sa kanya.
He let out a weak chuckle. "Mali rin namang mahalin ka pero sumasaya ako."
"Pero nasasaktan ka rin..."
"Parte ng pagmamahal ang masaktan. Don't worry... I can still manage." He kissed my forehead again.
"Pasensya na kung binigyan na naman kita ng alalahanin. You should sleep. Umaga na."
Pinigilan ko syang umalis. "Dito ka muna please," pakiusap ko.
"Okay."
Hinila ko sya at naupo kami sa gilid ng kama ko. "Marami akong itatanong sa 'yo and I want you to
answer them in all honesty, okay?"
He managed to smile. "Sure."
"You have no heartbeat yet you fell in love, why is that?" I asked.
Umiling sya. "Hindi ko alam. I told you before, I'm like a glitch in the system. Bawal mainlove, pero
nainlove. Walang tibok ang puso pero nagmamahal... nagseselos... nasasaktan."
"Kapag nagawa ko na 'yung task at bumalik na tayo sa dati, maaalala pa ba kita?"
"Hindi ko alam," sagot nya. "I don't think so though."
"But you'll remember me, right?"
Umiling sya ulit. "Hindi ko alam. Maybe I'll remember you but I won't remember the feeling. It's as
if none of this happened."
Medyo nalungkot ako sa sinabi nya. So ganun pala yun? If we fail, we will remember everything... pero
masasaktan kami pareho. If we succeed, we will be rid of the pain but we won't remember everything?
"Paano kapag hindi ko nagawa yung task, will I still be able to see you?"
"No. No one will ever see me. I'll see all of you but you won't be able to see me. You won't know of
my existence."
"I would know... right?"
Tumango sya. "Maybe. But you can never see me. It's like I'll be put in a dimension na ako lang ang
laman. Get some sleep, Mina."
With that cue, I yawned. "Okay." Nahiga na ako and pulled the blanket up to my neck. "Cupid?" I
called out to him as he stood up.
"Hmm?" Nilingon nya ako then he leaned down.
"I'll make this work. 'Wag ka ng malungkot okay? We'll get through this."
He smiled. "I'm counting on you." He bent down and kissed my forehead. "Sleep tight."
--
Kinabukasan, nagulat ako nang isang masayang Kupido ang bumati sa 'kin. He was smiling. He was
radiant... as if a huge burden was lifted off his shoulders.
"Good morning," bati nya.
"Morning," I mumbled.
"Bumangon ka na. Pupunta raw kayong falls," sabi nya sa 'kin.
I grunted and out of habit, itinaas ko ang dalawang kamay ko sa ere. "Pull me up," utos ko sa kanya.
Chuckling, he held both my hands, just under the wrist, and pulled me up. "Can I come with you?" he
asked.
"Oo naman. Saka hindi naman nila malalaman na nandun ka eh."
He shrugged. "Ang gulo ng buhok mo," puna niya.
I tried to flatten my hair kaso ayaw. Hinayaan ko na lang. He followed me outside the room, to the
rest room. He then waited until I finished washing my face. Tapos ay bumaba na ako. Hindi na ako
nagsuklay. Itinali ko na lang.
Naghahain na ng almusal sina mama nang pumunta akong kusina. May mga hawak na mug ang mga pinsan ko.
'Yung mga bata, naka-back pack na pagkain. Ready na sila pag-alis.
Minsanan lang kase kaming pumunta sa falls and usually, kapag may okasyon lang kaya naman excited
sila ngayon.
Agad tumayo sa kinauupuan niya si Joseph when he saw me enter the kitchen. Ipinaghila nya ako ng
upuan.
"Coffee?" nakangiti nyang tanong. He was probably asking me if I wanted coffee. Oh right... geez.
Lutang pa yata ako.
"Ako na." Tumayo ako nang makitang balak nya pa akong ipagtimpla ng kape. Tinudyo pa kami ng mga
pinsan ko nang hawakan ni Joseph yung kamay ko when he tried to stop me from making my own coffee.
Nakakainis. Bakit kase ako kinikilig sa kanya? I glanced worrily at Cupid and saw that he was trying
his best to smile. Halata pa ring malungkot sya dahil ang lungkot-lungkot ng mata nya. Mas lalo akong
nainis sa sarili ko. Bakit ba kase nagkagusto pa ako kay Joseph? Did He plan all this? Para masaktan
lalo si Cupid?
Hinayaan ko na lang na si Joseph ang magtimpla ng kape ko. I sat on the chair he moved for me and
asked my cousin to pass the toast, all the while looking at Cupid. He made himself busy by reading
some recipes plastered on the little cupboard doors.
Pinagmadali kami ni mama sa pagkain dahil mainit nga naman mamaya sa daan kapag inabot kami ng
tanghali. So we all ate our breakfast in a hurry. Tapos ni-ready namin 'yung picnic baskets at iba
pang gamit na dadalhin.
My mom draped a huge towel on my shoulders. Yun daw ang gamitin ko para sa swimming. At ang mga
balahura kong pinsan, pinagbi-bikini ako! Tumanggi ako kahit pa nakikisali sa pamimilit si Joseph. I
can't wear a bikini without going on a tremendous diet first! I just can't!
--
All throughout the trek, nakaalalay sa 'kin si Joseph. Grabe! Ganito pala ka-sweet 'to. Hindi ko
kinakaya. Kanina pa nila naaapakan 'yung buhok ko.
"Are you thirsty? Here, have some water." Inalok ako ni Joseph ng tubig for the nth time.
"No, I'm fine," tanggi ko.
"Okay. Malayo pa ba tayo?" tanong nya. Mga fifteen minutes na yata kaming naglalakad.
"Konti na lang. See that tree over there? Pagkalampas natin dun, may curve pakanan. Mga five minutes
pang lakad. Naririnig mo na 'yung lagaslas di ba?"
We stopped as he listened intently. Then he nodded. "Yeah... sort of."
"Hoy! Kayong dalawa? Bakit ang bagal nyo ha? Mamaya na yang landian kapag nasa falls na tayo!" sigaw
ni mama sa 'min.
Natawa na lang kaming dalawa. May sayad talaga si mama. "Nandyan na po!" sagot ko.
--
"Langoy tayo," aya ni Joseph. He took off his shirt. Natameme ako for a few seconds. Shocks. Ang
gwapo ng boyfriend ko. Hindi ako maka-get over! Tumawa sya nang mapansing nakatunganga ako sa kanya.
Blushing, I looked away (or at least I tried to).
I joined him under the falling water. Kasing-laki ng isang maliit na swimming pool 'yung nilalanguyan
namin. Pangalawang parte ng falls yun. Yung una, nasa bandang taas at mas malaki. Yung pangatlo,
madumi naman saka maraming lamok. Dun kase napupunta ang mga kalat na nagmumula sa dalawang falls.
"Swim over here!" he called. Nasa kabilang parte sya. Maliit lang pero malalim ang falls kaya naman
ingat na ingat ako. Hindi pa naman ako marunong lumangoy. "Come on. 'Wag kang matakot. Nandito naman
ako," he assured me.
I nodded and started to try to swim. Hindi pa man ako nakakalayo nang maramdaman kong parang
pinupulikat ako. The water was cold. At hindi pa ako marunong lumangoy. Pero sinubukan ko pa ring
lumangoy tutal malapit lang naman sya. But the pain continued and the next thing I knew, I was
already underwater.
And then I felt someone pull me up and through my blurry sight, I saw Cupid. He was drench. He was
still fully clothed. Nakaharang 'yung kulot nyang buhok sa mukha nya.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Kumapit ako sa batok nya. "Y-Yeah..."
Joseph emerged on my side. For a moment, akala ko ay nakikita nya kami because he was looking right
at us. And then, sumisid sya ulit, hinahanap ako. Dinala ako ni Cupid sa gilid at pinakapit sa bato.
"I'll leave you now, okay?"
Tumango ako. Saka nya ako binitiwan. Umahon ulit si Joseph and he was able to see me this time. They
pulled me out of the water. Binalutan ako ni mama ng malaking towel.
"Okay ka lang anak?"
"O-Opo."
"Saan ka napunta kanina? Bigla ka na lang nawala," may halong pagtatakang tanong ni Joseph.
"I was just there." Tumuro ako kung saan.
--
Hindi na nila ako pinalangoy after that. Hindi na rin naglangoy si Joseph, though I sensed that he
really wanted to. Minsan lang kase sya makakita ng falls. City boy eh.
"Come on. You should be enjoying the water," I said to him.
"Dito na lang ako sa tabi mo," sabi nya.
"Ano ka ba. Hindi naman ako aalis eh. Dito lang ako. Promise. Go," udyok ko sa kanya.
"You sure?" paninigurado nya.
I nodded. "Yeah."
He grinned and kissed my cheek. "I'll be right back."
Nang umalis sya ay naupo naman si Cupid, na kanina pa nakatingin sa amin, sa tabi ko.
"Thanks for saving me," bulong ko, being careful to not be heard muttering to myself.
"Don't mention it," he replied.
"Ang bilis mo kanina. Buti na lang..."

He chuckled. "Ganun talaga. Hanggang dun lang naman ako eh."
I looked at him. He was looking straight ahead. Malungkot pa rin ang mata nya kahit nakangiti sya.
"Ano'ng feeling-"
"Masakit."
"Naman eh..." Sinimangutan ko sya.
He faced me. "You wanted me to be honest, right? I'm just being honest."
"You know I can't help it, right?"
"If it would ease your guilt, then yes."
"Pero ginusto ko naman... so I guess I'm intentionally hurting you. I'm sorry."
Umiling sya. "Don't be sorry that you love someone. Don't be sorry that you can't reciprocate the
feeling of another. Ganyan naman talaga... hindi lahat ng bagay na gusto mo, nakukuha mo. In my case,
ikaw lang naman ang ginusto ko... hindi pa kita pwedeng makuha." He tried to laugh. "Ang malas ko
talaga."
"Sana kase, manhid ka na lang eh..."
He sighed. "Sana nga." He looked at me again, intently this time, and smiled. "Hindi rin siguro."
####################################
Chapter 16: Ever Enough
####################################
"Good, you're finally awake!"
I blushed scarlet when I saw Joseph leaning on me. Napatalukbong ako ng kumot. Nakakahiya! Baka puro
muta pa ako sa mata. Bakit naman kase pinapasok sya ni mama sa kwarto ko?
"Bakit nandito ka?!"
He laughed. "Gisingin daw kita sabi ni mama." Kinilig naman ako ng konti sa sinabi nya. Mama talaga?
Ang sweet lang. I raised both my arms and asked him to pull me up. Gawain ko 'to kahit kanino. Habit
na eh. Nakangiti naman syang sumunod. He ended up embracing me dahil ang lakas ng pagkakahila nya.
Kung ganito ba naman araw-araw ang umaga ko eh why not? He kissed my cheek saka nya ako pinakawalan.
"I'll be downstairs, okay? Sasabihin ko kay mama na gising ka na," sabi nya. Tumango na lang ako
bilang sagot.
Pagkalabas niya ng kwarto, saka ako muling nag-collapse sa kama ko, muffling the shriek I have been
holding for a few minutes.
"Sarap naman ng yakap..."
Napatunghay ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Cupid. He was sitting right at the edge of the bed.
Nakangiti sya sa 'kin.
"Good morning," bati nya.
"Morning," I mumbled. "Kanina ka pa dyan?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He shrugged. "I'm here long enough to see that," he answered, referring to the hug Joseph and I
shared earlier. Now, what can I possibly reply to that? Iku-comfort ko ba sya? Parang ang awkward.
"Naiinggit ako," dagdag nya.
"Gusto mo yakapin din kita?" biro ko sa kanya.
Umiling sya. "Wag na. Baka 'di kita mabitawan," sagot nya. Natahimik ako. Ang awkward talaga. Bakit
pa kase nagtapat sya sa 'kin? Nagiging guarded tuloy ako masyado. I can't do what I want freely when
he's around dahil ayoko syang masaktan.
"No comment." Umiwas ako ng tingin. I got up from my bed saka ko ito inayos.
"Sorry," he said.
"Okay lang," sagot ko naman kahit hindi talaga okay.
He brushed his nape and looked at me apologetically. "I'll just go outside."
Tumango na lang ako.
--
After breakfast, pinapunta kami ni mama sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen para umorder ng kakanin na iuuwi ni
Joseph. Kailangan nya na kaseng umuwi sa probinsya nila.
May phone naman sina Lola Ghen sa tindahan pero pinilit ako ni mama na samahan ko pa si Joseph sa
mismong tindahan. I'm guessing na pinagsosolo lang kami ni mama. Nagpapaka-matchmaker din sya eh.
So Joseph and I went to the old woman's store. Hindi na ako umaasa-dahil hindi naman ito madalas
tumambay sa tindahan ng lola nito-pero sana makita ko roon si Kuya Rodney. Makumusta man lang. I
heard na ikakasal na 'yun eh. Tingnan mo nga naman... si first love ko ikakasal na. Ako? Heto...
hindi inakalang pag-aagawan ng dalawang lalaki. At hindi lang basta-bastang mga lalaki 'to.
'Yung isa, papasa na bilang artista sa sobrang gwapo at 'yung isa... literal na anghel. Nasa kaliwa
ko si Joseph habang naglalakad kami. He was holding my hand, smiling his boyish smiles. Si Cupid
naman nasa kanan ko. His hands are on his pockets and he was looking straight ahead.
Sinimulan akong daldalin ni Joseph habang si Cupid naman ay nakikinig lang. He was occasionally
clearing his throat every time Joseph would pull me for a quick hug. Ramdam na ramdam kong nagseselos
na 'to kanina pa though it's not very evident on his face. He was still acting cool about the whole
thing.
And every time na mapapatingin ako kay Cupid, palagi itong umiiwas ng tingin saka ngingiti. Ang weird
nya!
"Mina?"
"Hmmm?" I stared blankly at Joseph. "Are you saying something?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He frowned. "Are you okay? You're spacing out."
"Sorry," I said to him.
"I'd be glad to know you're spacing out because of me," narinig ko namang sabi nitong si Cupid. Gusto
ko na sana syang sagutin but he can't hear my thoughts anymore so I just ignored him.
"Oh, we're here." I tugged at Joseph's hand. Hinila ko sya papunta sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen.
Nakangiti kaming sinalubong ng matanda.
"Lola, oorder po sana kami ng mga kakanin nyo. Pampasalubong po," sabi ko rito.
Ngumiti si Lola Ghen sa 'kin. "Ano bang klaseng kakanin hija?" tanong nito.
Ipinasa ko ang tanong kay Joseph. "Ano ba ang gusto mong iuwi?"
"Ikaw," tudyo nya.
"Corny," I heard Cupid mutter. Hindi ko na lang pinansin.
"Nyenye." I stuck my tongue out at Joseph. "Ano nga?"
"Hindi ko alam eh. Mukhang masarap lahat." He really can't decide. All the sweets and delicacies
imaginable ay naka-display sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen.
"Gusto mo ba ng free taste hijo?" tanong ni Lola Ghen. "Sandali lamang at kukuha ako ng sample,"
nakngiti nitong sabi bago ito pumunta sa pinakang-loob kung saan nila ginagawa 'yung mga kakanin.
Naupo kami ni Joseph sa mga mahabang bangko na nakalagay sa labas ng tindahan para sa mga nagbabantay
ng binibili nila. May mga ready-made na kakanin na kaya lang, mabilis itong ma-sold out. Saka
karamihan pre-ordered dahil hindi naman pwedeng ilang araw naka-display ang mga 'yun sa counter.
Masisira 'yung iba.
"Can I borrow your iPod?" biglang tanong nitong si Cupid sa akin. He was standing next to me dahil
ayaw nyang maupo sa tabi ni Joseph sa kabilang side.
Pasimple akong umiling. Iniwan ko ang iPod ko sa bahay eh. Ginagamit ng pamangkin ko.
I saw him shrug. "Okay," he just said. Okay na sana eh. Bumalik na si Lola Ghen dala ang isang
malaking platito na puro kakanin ang laman. May puto, kutsinta, espasol, butsi, maja blanca...
malilit na portions lang pero kapag kinain mo lahat, mabubusog ka na. Ang sarap pang tingnan dahil
magaling sa plating si Lola Ghen. "Can I have a piece?" pangungulit nitong si Cupid.
I rolled my eyes at him. He seemed to be enjoying the fact na hindi ko sya masagot-sagot. Eh bakit pa
kase bigla syang na-block ng utak ko? Ayan tuloy, ang hirap makipag-communicate!
Sinabayan ko sya nang kumuha sya ng kapisang na maja blanca para hindi halatang bigla na lang may
nawala ng walang kumukuha. Kaso natuwa yata. Kumuha sya ulit. Syempre, para hindi ulit halata, kumuha
rin ako. Hanggang sa kakalahati na lang ng plato ang may laman.
"Gutom ka ba?" natatawang tanong ni Joseph.
Sinimangutan ko sya pero tumango na lang ako. Then I pretended to look outside the store while I
glare at Cupid.
"Ang takaw mo Mina," tudyo niya. Inirapan ko na lang sya at pinilit kong ituon ang atensyon ko kay
Joseph, na mukhang nag-eenjoy sa natitirang mga kakanin sa plato.
"So? What have you decided?"
Tumango-tango sya habang nginunguya ang huling piraso ng biko. "Can I take all?" natatawa nyang
tanong. "Masarap lahat eh!"
"Ang tanong, kaya mo bang magdala ng ilang bilao ng kakanin pauwi sa inyo?"
He shrugged. "Why not? I'll take my chances. Sumama ka kaya sa 'kin nang may katulong ako pagdadala?"
He winked at me.
I heard Cupid clear his throat. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. It must be nice to meet Joseph's
family pero masyado pang maaga. I mean, true, nameet nya na ang parents ko pero hindi ko muna dapat
ma-meet ang parents nya. Baka ipakasal kami agad!
"Next summer!" pangako ko sa kanya. I know by then that I will either be in love with the one who's
truly meant for me or I'll be wandering around the town, neither human nor immortal but a ghost who
see strings on other people's fingers but not on her own.
Kapag naiisip ko ang posibleng kahinatnan ko kapag hindi ko nagawa ang task na ibinigay ni Cupid,
parang gustong gusto ko ng iwasan si Joseph pero hindi ko magawa. Someday, I know I have to. 'Wag
lang ngayon. 'Wag muna.
Joseph smiled at me before he turned to Lola Ghen and stated his orders. Hindi sya nagbibiro.
Bibilhin nya talaga lahat. Nakangiting tinanggap ni Lola Ghen ang mga orders saka nito tinawag ang
pamangkin nito at binigyan nito iyon ng instructions.
Kakapasok pa lamang ng pamangkin ni Lola Ghen sa gawaan nila sa likod nang dumating si Lolo RB.
Nakasuot ito ng bulaklaking polo at khaki shorts. Agad na sumilay ang ngiti sa labi ni Lola Ghen nang
makita ang matandang lalaki. At kagaya ng inaasahan ko, biglang lumiwanag ang strings nila na
kumonekta sa isa't isa the moment they got near each other.
Hindi pa man nagsasalita si Lolo RB ay may kinuha na si Lola Ghen na isang box na nakatago sa may
lamesa niya sa likod ng counter. Order iyon ni Lolo RB-puto at kutsinta-araw-araw, walang palya.
Their unspoken bond was mind-boggling.
"Salamat," nakangiting sabi ni Lolo RB kay Lola Ghen before he turned to Joseph and me. "Aba'y totoo
nga ang balita ano? May kasintahan ka na raw Karmina? Mabuti naman at naisipan mong magpaligaw bata
ka. Aba'y akala ko'y tatanda ka ng dalaga!" pabiro nitong sabi sa 'kin.
"Sabi ko naman sa inyo Lolo RB eh... tiwala lang!" nakangiti kong sagot. Simula high school ako,
palagi na akong tinutukso ni Lolo RB. Sa amin kaseng magpipinsan, ako lang ang walang boyfriend.
Mabuti na lang talaga dumating si Joseph.
Tumawa si Lolo RB. "Ay hijo, ikaw ba'y hindi napikot nitong batang ito?"
Joseph grinned. "Hindi po. Ginayuma lang." I jabbed Joseph on his side. Tumawa lang sya. "Biro
lang..."
Naiiling na lamang si Lolo RB. Kumuha ito ng isang puto at saka iyon kinain. Tapos ay nilingon nito
si Lola Ghen. "Salamat sa kakanin Geneva. Sa Linggo ulit ang bayad ha?"
"Kung maka-Geneva ka naman Roberto," Lola Ghen said sternly. "Sya, 'yung hinihingi kong tuba, 'wag
mong kakalimutan hane?"
"Oo na. Kakapaalala mo lamang niyan kahapon. Hindi ko nalilimutan," sagot ni Lolo RB. "Ako'y uuna na.
Salamat ulit! Mina, pakibigyan ng salakot iyang kasintahan mo at baka matunaw ang utak sa init ng
araw, makalimutan ka pa."
Napatawa naman ako. Ang lame talaga mag-joke ni Lolo RB. "Haynako Lolo. Minamais na naman ako sa 'yo.
Ingat po sa pag-uwi!"
Kumaway lang si Lolo RB sa amin saka ito tumawid ng kalsada. And all the while, nakasunod lang ng
tingin si Lola Ghen. Ang sweet nila. Kahit hindi naging sila, hindi nagbago 'yung pagmamahal nila sa
isa't isa.
Samantalang ang mga kabataan ngayon, kung makapagpalit ng boyfriend, akala mo nagpapalit lang ng
damit.
"Lola, uwi na rin po kami," paalam ko kay Lola Ghen.
"Salamat po sa kakanin!" dagdag naman ni Joseph.
"Walang anuman. Mag-ingat kayo!"
--
Abalang-abala sina mama pagluluto ng dadalhin ni Joseph na ulam sa byahe nito bukas. Instead of
clinging to him all day, hinayaan ko na lang muna silang magkagulo sa baba habang ako, nagta-type ng
manuscript ko.
Odd. It felt odd writing this thing now. Nawi-wirduhan ako. Kung kailan naman nalaman ko na may gusto
sa 'kin si Cupid, saka ako nablangko sa kwento ko. Dapat nga mas alam ko kung ano'ng isusulat pero
hindi. Ewan ko ba... naiilang pa rin ako kahit sa kwento lang.
"Problem?"
I jerked at my seat when I heard his voice. Nasa may kaliwang balikat ko lang ang ulo niya. He was
staring at me habang ako naman ay umurong dahil masyado syang malapit.
"Stop doing that!"
"Sorry. You were so focused on something na hindi mo na ako napansin. May problema ka ba?" he asked.
I sighed. There's no point in hiding it to him. "You are my problem," I replied to him.
"Sorry."
"Stop saying sorry. We both know you don't mean it," I said.
He sighed. "You're right. Still, I'm sorry for not being sorry. I just want to take my chance, you
know? Tutal nandito na rin lang naman ako, bakit hindi ko pa sulitin?" His face contorted in pain,
the same pained expression that I saw when he revealed his feelings to me.
"Kung plano mong lituhin ako, well congratulations. You've succeeded. Litong-lito na ako ngayon. Ayaw
ko na'ng mag-isip. Sumasakit lang ang ulo ko," sabi ko sa kanya.
He straightened up and went to sit on my bed. He patted the space beside him. Tumayo ako mula sa
kinauupuan ko at lumipat doon. Inakbayan nya ako at hinalikan sa kaliwang temple ko.
"I'm doing this for you Mina," bulong niya.
"I don't believe you," tahasan kong sabi.
"Alam ko. Kahit naman ano'ng sabihin ko, hindi ka maniniwala. I'm a liar, remember? So kahit sabihin
ko na hindi ka naman talaga gusto ni Joseph, hindi ka maniniwala sa akin."
It took a while for his words to sink in. "W-What did you say? Ulitin mo! Ano 'yun ulit?"
Umiling sya. "No."
"Come on. Paano mo nasabing hindi ako gusto ni Joseph? Sabihin mo!" pagpupumilit ko.
Kumunot ang noo niya. "Are you sure you want to know?"
I nodded.
"And would you believe me?" he asked.
I nodded again.
"Very well..." Bumuntong-hininga siya, hinawakan ang kaliwa kong kamay at saka pinisil-pisil iyon.
"Joseph's not really in love with you. He was put into some kind of trance."
"What?! You mean, gayuma?!"
He shook his head. "No. He's been deluded into thinking that he's in love with you. Para syang gayuma
only... there's no potion involved. That's why there's no unwanted string connecting you to him. You
don't have a string to connect with him anyway."
"Pero paano?" I asked in confusion.
"Psyche," he answered.
I gaped at him. Psyche? But why would Psyche do that? I thought she has a clean record? Bakit nya
gagawin 'yun? Ang alam ko, they don't meddle with the affairs of humans?
"Psyche?" pagkukumpirma ko.
"I've known since the day we lost connection. There seemed to have a cloud hovering inside your head,
wrapping its way inside your brain, preventing me to read your thoughts. And I know that no amount of
potion could ever do that. The moment you and Joseph kissed, it triggered something. Only Psyche has
the power to disconnect and reconnect connections."
Naalala ko dati, pinuputol ni Psyche 'yung unwanted connections para bumalik sa ayos ang lahat. I
didn't know that she could reconnect them too.
"She can reconnect the strings?"
He nodded. "She can even make connections that do not require strings. Temporary lang ito at hindi
niya dapat gagawin unless there's a grave circumstance. I guess her record's not that clean anymore."
"Pero bakit naman nya gagawin 'yun?"
Tiningnan nya ako ng mataman. "Psyche wanted you to think that Joseph's in love with you and make you
fall in love with him just to hurt me. She did all this because of me. She's in love with me Mina."
"Teka! Teka! Bakit? Si Psyche? But that's impossible!"
His expression turned grave. "I thought so too."
"Pero hindi ba dapat mas tinutulungan pa nga ako ni Psyche na matapos ang task ko para bumalik na sa
dati ang lahat?"
"Paminsan-minsan, nalilihis tayo ng daan dahil sa nagmamadali tayong makuha ang mga bagay na gusto
natin. She succumbed to her impulse, Mina. She did things in haste. In the end, hindi rin nya
makukuha ang gusto nya."
"Ano na'ng gagawin ko ngayon?" nalilito kong tanong sa kanya.
"It's obvious, isn't it? You need to break that connection. You have to break up with him."
####################################
Chapter 17: Interim Relationship
####################################
Hindi ako pinatulog ng sinabi ni Cupid sa akin. What's with Psyche being in love with him? I thought
angels aren't supposed to feel that? I thought they were ruled by conscience? Kung mayroon mang
pasaway sa sistema nila, si Cupid lang 'yun. Hindi naman kaya nahawa si Psyche?
"Karmina! Ano ba naman 'yang ayos mo? Aba'y kung devastated ka na aalis na si Joseph, eh di sumama
ka! Hindi 'yung ganyang hindi ka man lang nag-ayos ngayong paalis na sya. Honestly anak, para kang
namatayan!"
I grunted at my mother, who started pestering me. Napahikab ako. Kaya lang naman ganito ang ayos ko
eh dahil puyat na puyat ako. I stared at the mirror next to me. Gusto kong matawa. Mukha akong
zombie. Ang laki at ang itim ng eyebags ko. May hair is... simply chaotic. Strands are shooting out
to every direction. Hindi pa nga pala ako nagsusuklay. My lips are chapped and dry and I'm looking
pale. Very pale.... vampire pale.
I winced as my mother yank the comb unto my hair, grating on my scalp. "Ouch ma!"
"Magsusuklay ka kase sa umaga. Aba'y baka iwanan ka agad ng boyfriend mo kung papabayaan mo ang
sarili mo!" she said disapprovingly.
Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako. What will she think of me kung malaman nyang makikipag-break na
nga ako kay Joseph? Grabe! Record-breaking! Ilang araw lang kaming mag-on tapos break na! Tsk. This
is Psyche's entire fault. Hindi nya dapat inabuso ang kapangyarihan nya. I wonder... will she be
punished for it?
Nakakainis eh. Tiwalang-tiwala ako sa kanya. Crush na crush ko pa sya tapos ganun... backstabber
pala.
After combing my hair, my mom told me to wear a pretty dress. Ayaw ko mang gawin pero ginawa ko na
because I know that she will force that dress on me anyway. Joseph was waiting for me outside the
house. Nakatayo sya sa labas ng isang tricycle. Nakalagay na sa loob ang lahat ng dala niya, ako na
lang ang hinihintay.
Sinalubong niya ako ng yakap saka hinalikan sa tuktok ko. "I'll miss you," he whispered. "Can't you
really go with me? I'm sure my mom will love you."
Umiling ako. "No. I can't." I really can't. Baka lalo pa akong maging emotionally invested sa kanya
when I really have to end what we have so suddenly. I'm not completely head over heels in love with
Joseph and I knew that I just jumped at the opportunity to be with him because I feared that if I
rejected him or told him no, he wouldn't pursue me.
Eh minsan lang ako ligawan ng lalaking sobrang gwapo. Nakakapanghinayang din kapag pinalampas ko ang
chance na 'yun. Still, I know it's still wrong on my part but to be fair with myself... I think the
four of us made a mistake on this one.
Pero si Psyche talaga ang hindi ko ma-imagine na makakagawa ng mali. Parang nakakapagtaka na after
all the years she's worked with Cupid, ngayon lang sya nakagawa ng pagkakamali. Sakto pa sa time na
dumating ako. Or maybe she's had enough? Na parang salop na unti-unting napuno ang nangyari sa kanya?
Whatever it is, I'm not entirely convinced with what Cupid had told me. Something is definitely off
here.
"Mina? Aren't you going with me to the terminal?" Joseph was holding out his hand to me from inside
the vehicle. Pumasok ako doon at nagpaalam sa mga kamag-anak ko. Ihahatid ko si Joseph hanggang bus
terminal. Doon na ako makikipag-break sa kanya.
I heaved a deep sigh. I can do this! I definitely have to.
Nang makarating kami sa terminal ay sumama ako sa loob ng bus. I have to help him carry all the
goodies he bought from Lola Ghen's store. Bless that old woman's heart. Talagang inayos nito ang
pagkaka-pack ng mga kakanin para isang bitbitan.
Apat na mini-bilao ang magkakapatong at secured ng straw na tali. Naupo muna ako sa tabi ni Joseph
habang pinupuno pa ang bus.
Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. "Hindi ka talaga sasama?" tanong nya.
I wrinkled my nose at him. "Hindi pwede."
He frowned. "Bakit naman?"
"I have to do something this summer. It's really important..." I told him.
"Mas importante pa sa 'kin?" he queried.
"Uhm..." Yes? No? Maybe? "Kase-" His lips cut the words I am about to say. "S-Syempre, mas importante
ka..." wala sa sarili kong sabi.
He beamed at me. "That's what I want to hear."
From the corner of my eye, I saw Cupid unboard the bus. He's looking crestfallen. Damn. Eto na naman
ang guilt-trip. Hindi ko naman masundan si Cupid dahil naka-akbay sa akin si Joseph. He insisted na
antayin ko raw munang mapuno ang bus bago ako bumaba, which took us fifteen minutes.
Nagpaalam ako sa kanya at bumaba na ng bus after that.
Cupid was leaning next to the bus door. He was frowning. I tugged on his shirt without being too
obvious and walked away. Sumunod naman sya. Nang makita kong wala ng masyadong tao, I finally spoke.
"Sorry," was the first thing that came out my mouth.
His mouth twitched. "Are you sorry you kissed him or are you sorry I saw it?" tanong niya.
I grimaced. "Naman eh... don't make me feel bad. He's my boyfriend. You know he's bound to kiss me,"
dahilan ko sa kanya.
He huffed. "I told you to break up with him. Bakit hindi mo ginawa?"
"It's not that easy!" I blurted out.
"Dahil sa hinalikan ka lang, hindi mo na kaya? Why? Are you gonna miss his kisses?"
Nag-init ang mukha ko sa tanong nya. Bakit ko nga ba hindi nasabi? Sa pagkakatanda ko, sasabihin ko
na sana nang halikan ako bigla ni Joseph. And after that, nothing. I did nothing. But how could I
possibly break it to him after that?
"Hindi sa ganun. I just couldn't tell him. Not yet," I replied.
"Why not?"
I sighed. "I just can't, okay? Not now..."
"But you know you have to, right?" he asked.
Tumango ako. "Gagawin ko rin sya. Promise. Just give me more time."
"More time for what? To fall deeper? Ano ba sa tingin mo ang dahilan kung bakit sinabihan kitang
makipaghiwalay agad sa kanya? That's because I don't want you to get more invested to him. Ayokong
dumating ang panahon na masyado ka ng attached sa kanya kaya hindi ka maka-let go. I don't want you
to go through the same pain as I do."
I frowned at him. "Yan lang ba talaga ang dahilan?" He didn't answer. It looked like he was actually
taken aback with my question. "Look... I can't be detached like you. Tao lang ako. I'm often ruled by
my emotions. When I said I'd do it, I guarantee you that I will. Just give me time, okay? I'll give
him a call one of these days," I said.
He shook his head. "No, it has to be personal. You have to look him in the eyes and break up with
him. That's the only way you'll break the connection."
"Then wait until the school year starts," sabi ko na lang. He tends to get too pushy sometimes.
Parang gusto nya nasusunod yung gusto nya eh hindi naman pwedeng palaging ganun.
Umuwi na kami ng bahay. Hmm... ano naman kayang magandang gawin ngayon? There's nothing much to do
here. Nakakasawang gumala dahil simula kabataan ko iniikot ko na ang buong bayan namin. Napuntahan ko
na ang lahat ng dapat puntahan.
I better continue writing my manuscript then. Para may magawa naman akong productive ngayong summer.
I was sitting on my bed, my laptop propped on my lap while Cupid's sitting near the huge window,
playing with the Rubiks cube I gave him a while ago. Bored na bored na sya, having solved the puzzled
twenty times now. Grabe, ako nga hindi ko mabuo 'yun in thirty minutes tapos sya kahit nakapikit,
kayang-kaya.
He sighed and looked out the window. His back was turned on me. Hindi nakasaklob sa kanya ang fedora
hat na madalas nyang suot kaya kitang-kita ang pagkakakulot ng buhok nya. They sort of shimmer under
the rays of the sun na tumatama sa mga hibla. At kung hindi namamalikmata ay masasabi kong parang
meron syang halo sa taas ng ulo nya.
"You're burning a hole on my back," I heard him say. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.
"Ano yan? May mata ka sa likod?"
He turned around and beamed. "First stage... awareness."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Please... that doesn't even apply to us."
He raised an eyebrow? "Oh?" Tumayo sya at naglakad palapit sa 'kin. He then went up the bed and
crawled towards me. My breath hitched when he leaned closer, we were almost kissing for bleep's sake!
He touched my cheek. "Why are you blushing then?"
"Ano ba ang gusto mong palabasin ha?" Bahagya ko syang itinulak. "I was only blushing because you're
so near me. Any girl with their minds still intact will blush with that. It's natural reaction,"
paliwanag ko sa kanya.
He sighed. He was still leaning but he backed away a little to give me some breathing space.
"Bakit ba ang sungit mo?" kunot-noo nyang tanong.
"Hindi ba obvious? Naiinis ako sa 'yo," sagot ko.
"Bakit?" Bigla syang sumimangot. Ano 'to? Nagpapa-cute ba sya? Bakit kase ang amo-amo ng mukha nya.
Nakakabudol-budol!
"Ginulo mo kase ang buhay ko," patay-malisya kong sagot. Nag-concentrate ako sa pagtatype ng
manuscript ko kahit nasa harapan ko pa rin sya. Hindi na lang ako tumunghay ulit.
I heard him sigh. Twice. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
"Whatever."
He got of the bed and went back to his seat near the window. He played with his Rubiks cube once
more. I decided to ignore him and his crazy antics. Also, his lies. Ever since he told me about he's
feeling that one night and when I learned that I'm not really special and that he just made them all
up to cover his mistakes, nag-iba na ang pagtingin ko sa kanya.
I feel like I could not trust him anymore. I'm not even sure if his feelings are true... but every
time I look into his eyes... Napailing ako. I shook my head vigorously to get the image of his doey,
adoring eyes off my mind.
His eyes tell something else, I'd give him that much.
--
Later that afternoon, pumunta ako sa tindahan nina Lola Ghen. I figured I'd buy him something for
peace offering. Nakokonsensya ako eh. Hindi na nya ako kinausap simula kanina. He was moping around.
His sulking became worse.
"Mina! Napasyal ka!" bulalas ni Lola Ghen nang makita ako.
Nginitian ko sya. "May bibilhin lang po sana," sagot ko. I remembered that Cupid liked the biko more
than anything else on the test platter last time. Yun ang bibilhin ko.
"Alin hija?" tanong niya.
"Biko po. Isang bilaong maliit."
"Oh sige. Mayroon pa yatang kakagawa sa likuran. Sandali lamang at titingnan ko."
"Lola Ghen, puto po ba meron pa kayo?"
"Ay nako! Kakaubos lang! Nahuli ka ng bahagya..." She smiled at me apologetically. "Wag kang mag-
alala. Bukas ay ipagtitira kita."
Umiling ako. "Nako hindi na po. Nagtanong lang naman po ako."
"Sya, sandali lamang ha? Titingnan ko lamang kung may biko pa. Maupo ka muna."
Naupo ako sa nakahandang upuan sa loob ng tindahan habang pumunta naman si Lola Ghen sa bandang likod
para tingnan kung my available pa na biko. Meron namang naka-display sa counter pero para sa tingi-
tingi lang 'yun. Kapag malakihan o maramihang order, sa likuran lahat nakatabi.
"Nadyan ba si Geneva?" tanong ng kararating na si Lolo RB.
"Nasa likuran po. Bakit lolo?"
"Kukunin ko sana 'yung pinatabi kong puto."
I frowned at him. "Kakasabi lang po sa 'kin ni Lola Ghen na ubos na raw ang mga tinda nyang puto."
Kumunot din ang kulot na noo ng matanda. "Ha? Aba'y hindi maaari iyan. Kabilin-bilinan ko kay Geneva
na ipagtitira niya ako ng puto araw-araw."
At that very moment, lumabas naman mula sa likod-bahay si Lola Ghen. "Mabuti na lamang at mayroon pa-
Roberto! Ang aga mo naman yata?" gulat na tanong ni Lola Ghen nang makita si Lolo RB.
Ngumiti ang matandang lalaki. "Kukunin ko sana muna iyong patabi ko bago ako dumeretso sa linang.
Pupuntahan ko sina Rosanna at manganganak na raw yata iyong kambing nila doon."
"Ay shanga? Heto, padalhan mo na rin sila ng espasol." Kinuha ni Lola Ghen 'yung isang maliit na box
na may lamang sampung piraso ng espasol. Inilabas rin nya 'yung mga patabing puto ni Lolo RB.
"Salamat," nakangiting sabi ni Lolo. "Hayaan mo at 'pag may galyang silang naani mamaya ay dadalhan
kita."
"Aasahan ko 'yan," Lola Ghen replied. Nagpaalam na si Lolo RB sa 'min saka ito umalis. Napatingin
naman ako kay Lola Ghen. Her face looked radiant. Parang nag-reflect 'yung liwanag mula sa magkakabit
nilang strings kanina sa mukha nya at ayaw na nitong matanggal.
Tumikhim ako. At saka lang nya naalalang nandun pa pala ako sa store nya.
"Ay, heto na nga pala 'yung biko." Iniabot nya sa 'kin ang maliit na bilao ng biko.
"Lola, bakit si Lolo RB, ipinagtatabi mo ng puto araw-araw?" I asked.
"H-Ha?" Nag-iwas sya ng tingin. "Usapan namin iyon matagal na. Paborito nya ang mga puto na paninda
ko kaya naman palagi ko siyang ipinagtatabi. Hindi raw kumpleto ang araw niya hangga't hindi siya
nakakakain noon." Sumilay ang matamis na ngiti sa labi ni Lola Ghen. Hindi ko kinakaya. Kinikilig ako
sa reaksyon nya.
"May bayad naman ho ba?" tanong ko ulit.
Tumango sya. "Mayroon naman. Kadalasan ay mga gulay o pulot ang ibinabayad niya."
"Pero hindi ho madalas, tama?"
"Bakit ba parang bigla ka naman yatang naging matanong? Batang ito oo..." naiiling niyang sabi.
"Eh curious lang po kase ako." I leaned closer to her. Tiningnan ko ng mataman ang mukha nya. Lola
Ghen's face is the most pleasant face there is in San Martin. Payapa. Masaya. Laging nakangiti. "Di
ba po kahit noong bata pa ako, routine nyo na ni Lolo RB yan? Bibigyan mo sya ng puto tapos sya
naman, gulay o pulot ang ibibigay sa 'yo. Gaano na po ba katagal ang usapan ninyo?"
"Matagal na kaming magkaibigan hija," sagot niya.
"Pansin ko nga po," I commented. "Pero kapag tinitingnan ko kayong dalawa, parang hindi kayo friends
lang eh. Parang may something," pasimple kong tudyo kay Lola.
Humalakhak ng mahina ang matanda. "Ikaw talagang bata ka... kung anu-ano'ng napapansin mo ano?
Manang-mana ka sa nanay mo."
"So pansin din po ni mama?" gulat kong tanong.
Ngumiti siya sa akin. "Bukas hija... bukas ko sasabihin sa iyo. Bumalik ka na lamang bukas at marami
pa akong gagawin ngayon ha?"
"Sure ka Lola ha. Baka naman bukas, hindi ka magpakita sa 'kin."
Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinisil. "Bukas nga. Pangako, kikwentuhan kita."
At dahil doon, ngumiti na rin ako sa kanya. I really can't wait for tomorrow.
####################################
Chapter 18: Always and Forever
####################################
Umuwi ako ng bahay dala ang biko na binili ko sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen. Itinago ko pa ito sa mga
pinsan ko dahil alam kong lalantakan nila kahit ano basta pagkain. Hinanap ko agad si Cupid. I was
not really surprised when I saw him sitting on the bench near the well. He was reading a book.
Tinabihan ko sya sa upuan.
"Biko?" I offered.
"Thanks," simple nyang sagot as he continues to read.
"Peace offering ko 'to so don't just ignore it," I said, pouting.
He lowered the book he's reading and turned to me with one eyebrow raised. "Peace offering for what?"
I grunted. Great. He's acting oblivious and clueless. "Never mind. Anyway, pupunta nga pala ako bukas
para kausapin si Lola Ghen. She'll give me the juice about Lolo RB. Sama ka?"
He shrugged. "Okay."
"Galit ka pa ba sa 'kin?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
"Hindi ako galit sa 'yo. I just find this book really interesting."
I glanced at the book he's reading. Takte. Puro equations? "What's interesting about algebra?"
"It's logical," he replied.
"Is it? Huh... di ko pansin. I hate Math."
"But you like logical things," he pointed out.
I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah but I hate Math. Masakit sa ulo."
Tumawa sya. "But it's better than heartache. Ang sakit ng ulo, kayang gamutin ng paracetamol. Ang
sakit ng puso, walang gamot. Wala kang ibang magagawa kundi magtiis."
"Why do you always have to route the discussion to love? Can we not talk about love for a while?" I
asked.
"I am the angel of love. I need to talk about love all the time. And besides, everything will
eventually be traced back to love. After all, it's the beginning, median and end of everything."
My eyebrows creased. "Beginning, median and end?"
He nodded. "God created everything out of love. Jesus died on the cross because of love. The Holy
Spirit is among us because of love," paliwanag nya. "Pahingi na nga ng biko, nagutom ako."
I grinned at him as he took a slice of the biko.
"So she's finally going to tell you their story..." he said when he's done eating that slice.
"Yes. Para ngang ayaw kong pakinggan eh. Hindi kase sila nagkatuluyan. Medyo tragic," I replied.
Ngumiti sya sa akin. "Happy endings do not mean that the two people you are rooting for to end up
together will end up together."
"But that's just sad..." I said with a sigh.
"Heto na naman ba tayo sa discussion about happy endings? Again, like I said to you before, I don't
see the point of being happy when it's already the end."
"And like I also said to you before, we humans crave for hope. It doesn't matter if it's the end, as
long as it's happy. We're suckers for that light at the end of the tunnel."
"What if it's just a train's light coming to crash at you?" he asked in all seriousness.
"Ha. Ha."
He laughed again. "Okay, fine. Stick with your hope then."
"I will. It's the only thing that keeps us going."
"I wish we could hope as well," dagdag niya habang nakatingin sa malayo.
"Hindi naman bawal ah? Sabi ko naman sa 'yo di ba. We all deserve a happy ending. We're also allowed
to hope." I patted his back. "I'm sure He won't punish you for hoping," dagdag ko pa.
He smiled and looked at me intently. "But will He punish me for hoping to have you?"
--
Kinabukasan, kagaya ng napag-usapan, pumunta kami sa tindahan ni Lola Ghen para makinig sa kwento
nito. Nakangiti kaming sinalubong ni Lola Ghen.
"Ang aga mo naman yata Karmina?"
"Syempre naman po. Excited na ako sa kwento nyo eh," nakangiti kong sagot.
Lola Ghen laughed. "Maari bang doon tayo sa likod bahay?" tanong niya. "May tsaa doon saka mga
kakanin."
"Naku, wag na po. Mabubusog na po ako sa kwento."
Umiling si Lola Ghen. "Halika na!" She yanked at my arm. "Baka ika'y ma-boring lamang kapag puro
kwento at walang pagkain."
Natawa naman ako sa pamimilit ng matanda. "Sige na nga po," I finally said.
Sinundan ko si Lola Ghen papunta sa likod-bahay. Nilampasan namin 'yung pagawaan sa likod ng
bahay/tindahan nila. Sayang, wala si Kuya Rodney. I'm guessing busy 'yun sa paghahanda para sa kasal.
Pinaupo ako ni Lola Ghen. May nakahain na mga kakanin sa mesa. Meron ding cookies, to Cupid's
delight. Tapos may isang maliit na porselanang takure na may tea bag. Ipinagsalin ako ni Lola Ghen ng
tsaa.
"Saan ba ako magsisimula?" nakangiti niyang tanong.
"How about doon po sa panahon na nagkakilala kayo ni Lolo RB?" I suggested.
She suddenly looked reminiscent. Napabuntong-hininga sya. "Matagal na panahon na rin ang lumipas mula
noong una kaming nagkakilala ni Roberto. Hinding-hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na iyon. Naglalaba ako
noon sa batis na malapit sa amin nang bigla siyang sumulpot mula sa kung saan. Nang makita ko siya,
agad kong ibinato sa kanya ang batya na noon ay kakatanggal ko pa lamang ng laman, sa sobrang gulat
ko. Naka-tapis lamang ako noon kaya naman akala ko ay binobosohan niya ako."
Tumawa si Lola Ghen.
"Ang mga batya pa mandin noon ay iyong mga mabibigat, hindi kagaya ngayon na mga plastik na. Alam mo
bang napaiyak ko sya noon? Siguro ay nasa mga kinse anyos pa lamang siya. Matikas ang pangangatawan
niya at saka kayumangging-kayumanggi ang kulay. Kung sa panahon ngayon ay gustong-gusto ng mga
kababaihan ang mga lalaking mapuputi, ako noon ay haling na haling naman sa mga lalaking kayumanggi
ang kulay.
"Nakakahiya mang aminin subalit ako'y talaga namang humanga sa kanya noon. Hindi ko pinagsabi iyon
kahit kanino dahil baka makurot ako sa singit ng aking inay at ng mga nakakatanda kong kapatid na
babae. Sampung taong gulang pa lamang ako noon."
"Bawal pa lumandi Lola?" natatawa kong tanong. "Pagkatapos po nun, ano'ng nangyari?"
"Naging magkaibigan kami ni Berto. Palagi niya akong sinasamahan tuwing naglalaba ako sa batis.
Tinutulungan pa niya ako minsan sa pagsasampay. Nang nalaman ng nanay ko iyon, nagalit ito sa akin.
Bakit daw ako nagpapasama sa isang lalaki nang mag-isa ako. Kesyo baka raw may masabing hindi maganda
ang mga kapitbahay.
"Sinabi ko iyon kay Berto at tinawanan lang niya ako. Ang sabi niya, hindi naman daw por que at
magkasama ang lalaki at babae sa isang lugar na sila lamang dalawa ay ibig sabihin na may ginagawa na
silang masama. Sumang-ayon ako sa kanya. Tama nga naman siya ngunit hindi ko pwedeng suwayin si Inay
kaya hangga't maaari ay hindi ko pinapasama si Berto sa batis nang wala akong kasamang kapatid.
"Labing-anim na taong gulang ako nang may dumating na mga dayo sa aming lugar. Biente-uno anyos na si
Berto noon at inuudyok na ng mga magulang na mag-asawa na. Magkaibigan pa rin kami noon ngunit hindi
ko masabi sa kanya na higit pa roon ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Natatakot akong baka bigla na
lamang niya akong iwasan. Saka noon, masama ang tingin ng tao sa mga babaeng nauunang magtapat ng
nararamdaman. Kailangan ko noong hintayin na siya ang unang magsabi sa akin.
"Ngunit bago pa man mangyari iyon ay inunahan na siya ng isa sa mga dayo. Isang Amerikanong
nagngangalang Charles Frank ang nagkagusto sa akin. Biente-sinco ayos ito noon. Matikas din,
matangkad at maputi. Bali-balita na mayaman pa raw ito. Nang pumunta ito sa bahay para manligaw ay
hindi na nagpatumpik-tumpik si inay. Malugod niya itong tinanggap na para bang isa rin ito sa mga
anak niya.
"Lahat ng panliligaw ay ginawa nito. Nag-aral pa ito ng Tagalog para lamang makapang-harana. Kundiman
pa ang kinanta nito noon na siya namang ikinagiliw ni inay. Nagsisibak rin ito ng kahoy. Umiigib pa
ito sa ilog na may kalayuan mula sa amin. Tumutulong rin ito sa pag-aararo. Wala naman akong nakitang
hindi maganda kay Charles. Magiliw ito at tinuturuan pa kaming mag-Ingles."
"Pero hindi nyo po mahal?" singit ko.
Ngumiti si Lola Ghen pero halatang malungkot sya. Then she shook her head. "Iisang tao lamang naman
ang minahal ko Karmina. Si Berto lamang. Simula't sapul ay alam ng Diyos na siya lamang. Ngunit hindi
yata talaga kami nakatadhanan para sa isa't isa."
I want so badly to object and reveal everything but I can't. Kaya hinayaan ko na lang syang
magpatuloy.
"Ipinakasal ako ni inay kay Charles noong mag-disiotso ako. Magarbo ang kasalang naganap. Imbitado
ang buong barangay namin. Noong kainan at sayawan na ay saka ko lamang nakita si Berto. Isinayaw niya
ako ng isang beses. Isang beses lamang... saka siya namaalam sa akin.
"Noong panahong iyon, gustong-gusto ko na'ng sabihin sa kanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman ngunit huli
na. Nakatali na ako sa iba. Nalaman ko makalipas ang isang linggo na namanhikan na si Berto kay Lupe,
kababata niya. Ayaw ko mang isipin ngunit naghinala ako noon na ang pagpapakasal ko ang dahilan ng
biglaan niyang pamamanhikan.
"Wala namang tumanggi sa bagay na iyon. Bukod sa matagal na siyang pinag-aasawa ng mga magulang niya
ay gustong-gusto rin siya ni Lupe at ng buong pamilya nito. Wala pang limang buwan matapos ang kasal
ko nang magpakasal sila."
Nagpahid ng luha si Lola Ghen. Parang gusto ko na ring umiyak. Bakit ba kase ang saklap ng kwento
nya?
"Pasensya ka na Karmina."
"Naku! Ayos lang po Lola."
"Masakit lamang alalahanin," patuloy niya. "Hanggang ngayon ay pinagsisisihan kong hindi ko man
lamang nasabi sa kanya ang tunay kong nararamdaman. Tanging kaligayahan ko na ang makita ko siya
araw-araw. Iyong usapan namin tungkol sa pagtitira ko ng puto para sa kanya? Suhestiyon ko iyon
matagal na. Buhay pa si Lupe noon. Ginawa ko iyon bilang paraan para makita ko siya.
"Masaya ako na hanggang ngayon ay ginagawa pa rin namin iyon. Hindi ko na yata kayang tumigil pa. Sa
simpleng pagbibigay man lang ng kakanin sa kanya ay maiparamdam ko sana kung gaano ko siya kamahal."
Hindi ko na napigilan. Napaiyak na ako. Lalo na nang magsimula na ring umiyak si Lola Ghen. Ang sakit
talaga. Ayoko talaga ng tragic...
I felt Cupid's hand on my shoulder. He was comforting me, I guess. "Sometimes, the right timing comes
a little bit late." He sighed. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang plano ng Diyos at wala akong magagawa kung
ganito ang gusto Niyang mangyari. This is why I don't like happy endings. Nagiging masaya lang sila
kapag tapos na."
I nodded silently.
"Lola, bakit hindi nyo po sabihin kay Lolo RB? For old time's sake. Para man lang masabi nyo sa kanya
bago..."
"Bago ako mawala sa mundo?" She laughed. "Siguro nga'y tama ka Karmina. Matagal na akong naging
duwag. Siguro naman ay dumating na ang tamang panahon para ipagtapat ko sa kanya ang lahat-lahat."
Tumango ako. "Oo nga po. At sana po pareho kayong dalawa ng nararamdaman ni Lolo RB."
--
"Nagmumukmok ka na naman?" tanong sa akin ni Cupid. We were already back at the house.
Nakapangalumbaba ako sa tapat ng bintana ng kwarto ko.
"Nalulungkot ako," sagot ko sa kanya. "Bakit may mga cases kase na ganun? Parang saka lang mabibigyan
ng second chance kung kelan matanda na. Ang dami tuloy nilang namiss!"
He smiled at me. "See? I hate happy endings!" he exclaimed.
"Hmmm..." I stared at the moon above. It was full moon tonight. Ang gandang tingnan. The stars too...
Gusto kong matawa sa sarili ko. Maghapon na pala akong nagmumukmok dahil sa kwento ni Lola Ghen.
Hindi nga ako nakakain ng maayos kanina during lunch dahil gulong-gulo ang isip ko.
Nalulungkot talaga ako. Naaalala ko na naman sina Ate Jen at Kuya Kyle. Bakit hindi naging sila? Why
can't we just tell people who they're going to end up with to avoid all these heartaches?
I sighed.
"Stop sighing. Your lungs will run out of air," he teased. I ignored him. Then he started poking my
cheek. "Mina, get over it."
"I can't!"
Tumawa sya. "Okay, let's try this. Come on." Iniharap nya ako sa kanya. Kapit nya ako sa balikat.
"I'll make goofy faces to make you laugh."
What the hell?
"Game?" he inquired.
"I'm sure I won't find you funny."
"At least find me cute," he replied. I snorted a fake laugh. "Game?" pag-uulit nya.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine."
He made a face.
Adorable, I thought. I dismissed it. "Not working," I said to him.
He made another face.
Still adorable.
"Still not funny?" he asked, frowning. Tumango ako. "Hmm... I ought to try harder then."
Nagduling-dulingan sya this time. His irises are almost too near the corner of his eyes na parang
mawawala na yung gitna ng mata nya. But that's not what I found funny. Nahilo kase sya sa ginawa nya
kaya ako natawa.
We were both laughing for a few moments. And then he suddenly stopped.
Oh sheez.
"I want to try something else too," he said. He inched closer. No! I was in panic mode. I knew where
this is going!
He was stooping down on me now. His eyes are already half-closed.
Shit. No.
My mind is racing. Ano'ng mangyayari kapag natuloy ang balak nya? What will be of us tomorrow? I
tried to push him with both my hands but he only resisted as he leaned closer. Ilang milimetro na
lang...
Pumikit na lang ako.
And then my phone rang.
Parehas kaming natauhan. Agad kaming naglayo. He was looking away while I fumbled with the screen of
my phone. With trembling hands, I answered the call.
"H-Hello?"
"Hey... I missed you..."

####################################
Chapter 19: Definition of Love
####################################
I was very thankful for the interruption. It's not that I didn't want to kiss Cupid. At that time, I
did. I really did. It's like something powerful was pulling me to him. And I could have given in had
it not been for Joseph.
I was very thankful because I think I have just escaped another trap brought by that kiss. Who knows?
Baka punishable by God na naman 'yun. Baka wrong move pala 'yun on our part. Still, I can't help but
feel a tinge of regret.
What if there's no punishment whatsoever? What if I would actually enjoy that kiss and would crave
for more? What if I would feel something strong for him that would make it easy for me to let go of
Joseph?
Ang daming what ifs. Sad to say... they will remain as that. What ifs.
Since yesterday, we've been avoiding each other. We both look away whenever we see each other. Hindi
nya rin ako kinakausap and I have no guts to start a conversation. After that? No. I would not dare.
We both know there's something there and we both know it's wrong. We also both know that we shouldn't
push it but it's like we don't care if we went there anyway.
"Karmina, masamang tumutunganga sa pagkain," untag sa akin ni papa. Nandito sya ngayon. Himala!
Bihira nya kaseng iwanan ang trabaho nya sa San Agosto. Masipag na tao ang papa ko, one trait I
unfortunately didn't inherit from him. Ayaw na ayaw nyang nawawalan ng gagawin. Mababaliw sya.
Seryoso.
"Sorry, pa," I said as I twirl on the spaghetti.
"Hayaan mo na yan. Namimiss lang ata nya ang boyfriend nya," singit ni mama.
My father frowned at my mom but didn't comment. He only met Joseph once during his stay here. I
cannot say that he approves. Ewan ko ba sa tatay ko, hindi showy eh.
I went back to absent-mindedly twirling my spaghetti when I saw someone walk passed the window. Si
Cupid. He stopped walking all of a sudden, looked up the heavens and sighed. Napakamulsa sya noon
habang nakanguso sa langit.
Parang gusto kong magtago sa ilalim ng lamesa... lalo na nang lumingon sya sa gawi ko. Our eyes met.
There's friction in his stare. Hindi ako agad nakaiwas ng tingin. Malungkot na naman ang mata nya.
Sabagay, kailan ba naging hindi? Palaging nangungunsensya ang mga mata nya.
Muli akong nakahinga nang maglakad sya palayo. I didn't realize that I was holding my breat until our
eyes break connection.
When I was done eating and after I finally bathed, I went outside to look for him. More conversation
lessens the awkwardness between two people. Kung patuloy kaming hindi mag-iimikan, mas lalo kaming
magkakalayo. Eh kailangan ko sya para sa task ko. It might not seem much pero comforting yung
presence nya. Para syang safety net. When it all comes crashing down, he'll be there to save the day.
I found him in his usual spot near the well. His arms were propped on his lap, magkadaop ang mga
palad nya below his chin. He was staring right at me. Para tuloy ayoko ng tumuloy. Pero mas masagwa
naman kung bigla na lamang akong tatalikod at maglalakad pabalik.
Sighing, I continued walking towards him. Naupo ako sa tabi niya.
"Hi," I greeted.
He nodded, as if he's acknowledging me.
"Uh..." Where do I start? "K-Kumusta?"
He looked at me with his inquiring gaze. His eyes were boring at me. There it is again. That
something that's pulling me to him.
He shrugged in response.
"What's with the shrug?"
"It means 'meh'. Neither bad nor great. Just okay," he replied. "Ikaw?"
Ginaya ko sya. Nagkibit-balikat na lang din ako.
He grinned at me. "Gaya-gaya."
"Idol kita eh."
"Don't patronize me." And just like that, he went back to being serious. "What happened yesterday-"
"-was a mistake not bound to happen," pagpapatuloy ko. "Let's just forget the whole thing, okay?" I
said with a smile.
"But was it really a mistake? Or could it be that the kiss not happening was the mistake?"
What if? Heto na naman ang what if na 'yan. Nililito ako. I shook my head. "I'm pretty sure the kiss
itself is a mistake. Maybe God was just sympathetic enough to not let it happen." I tried to sound
convincing so that I could convince myself too. Dalawa lang naman ang pwedeng puntahan noon eh.
Pwedeng tama sya o tama ako. And I'm half-convinced that his what if is more convincing... or should
I say... tempting?
"Don't you want to find out?" I don't know if he's just teasing. Mukha syang seryoso but I saw hints
of mischief in his eyes. I'm really tempted though. Why not, di ba? Why not? Because it's wrong and
it should never happen.
Umiling ako. "Let's stop pretending for a bit that you're in love with me, okay?"
"Hindi ka naniniwala?"
"Hindi," I replied curtly. "You know why? Because I think it's too soon. I don't think you could have
told me that early if you really mean it. So no, I really don't believe you."
Sinimangutan nya ako. "Bakit naman sa lahat ng pwede mong pagdudahan... feelings ko pa?"
Bakit nga ba? Maybe it's because of the fact that he openly told me that they become liars. He, for
one, is a bad liar himself. He admitted that. And now he's asking me why I don't believe him?
Baka naman sobra ka lang magduda, sabi ng konsensya ko.
"I need proof. And no more lying," I said sternly. Yes, explanation is all I need from him. Something
that will make me understand and believe in his love.
Umirap sya at bumuntong-hininga. "What's the use of explaining anyway? You won't believe me because
you'll think I'd be lying to you."
Umiling ako. "Promise, I'll believe you. Just don't lie again."
His eyebrow shot up. "How will you know that I'm not lying?"
"Gut feel," sagot ko. "Kayo ba may gut feel?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? Won't you feel awkward when we talk about it?" he inquired.
"Siguro?" sagot ko. "But don't you think it's best if we got this out of the way?"
He frowned at me. He was biting the insides of his cheek, averting my attention there. Then I saw his
lips curve up to a smile. I looked away.
"Are you sure you don't want to kiss me?" he teased.
I rolled my eyes at me. "Shut up. Start explaining already."
He sighed as I waited with an eager expression on my face. No, scratch that. Eager and expectant.
Masarap malaman na may nagmamahal sa 'yo pero mas masarap kapag naririnig mo 'yung explanation nila
kung bakit ka nila mahal. Nakakataba ng puso.
"I was friends with your grandmother." Okay... so that's not what I was expecting.
"And?" I pried. "Were you in love with her too?"
That made him laugh. "No, we were just friends."
"Wait-" Saka lang nag-sink in sa akin yung sinabi nya. "M-Magkakilala kayo ng lola ko? Ibig sabihin-"
"She was a matchmaker," he said. "She has that golden streak on her connecting string. Mga two inches
ang haba."
"How did you become friends? Nakikita ka nya?"
He nodded. "Within that span of the golden streak, I was able to be with her... as her friend." He
really put emphasis on the word 'friend'. "That is, until she met your grandfather. Meron pa yata
syang natitirang ilang buwan noon bago matapos ang pagiging matchmaker nya when she met him. I
thought it was too soon. Matchmakers like her are very rare. You just don't stumble on them every
day. So I felt at loss that time because she was my only human friend. Muntik na akong pumagitna sa
kanilang dalawa just so I could keep her for myself."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "So you were acting selfishly even back then?" tanong ko sa kanya. He looked
guiltily at me. "Sorry," I mumbled.
"She was my only human friend... I thought you'd understand."
"Oo na. Sorry na kase." Nginitian ko sya. "Oh tapos? Ano'ng koneksyon nun sa 'kin?"
"Your grandmother got married and then she had children. Your mother was the only girl and I thought
that she'll have that golden streak too pero wala. Turns out it skipped a generation."
Namilog ang mata ko. "You mean to say... meron talaga akong golden streak? It's not another lie, is
it?"
Umiling sya. "What I said to you before was true. You really have that golden streak. It's shorter in
span compared to your grandmother's though."
I looked at my hands. Sometimes, it frustrates me that I can't see my own strings. I feel like an
oddity.
I almost jumped out of my seat when he covered my palm with his left hand, eventually enveloping it.
I know it's not the usual reaction he gets from me and I know that he noticed it too. He smirked at
me, glad that what he did affected me.
"Let go of my hand!" angal ko sa kanya.
"Why? Afraid you'd fall for me?" he joked, winking.
I grunted. "I swear, you are so immature!"
He beamed as he tugged at my hand. He put it on his lap and played with it. "I was jealous, you
know," he said. The lightness of the atmosphere was quickly disseminating. "Your grandparents were so
sweet. They were so happy. I was left there, all alone. I had no one. When your parents met, I
couldn't be any lonelier. Naramdaman ko 'yung desperation. I started to think that He was so unfair
to not grant me my own happiness. I was starting to become human. I was feeling like one already...
and then you came.
"Like Jacob's reaction the first time he saw Renesmee, I was completely taken by you. It's like
you're seeing the planets align before your very eyes. At that moment, I knew. I knew it was you. You
also have that golden streak, fortunately for me."
He squeezed my hand. The warmth it brought made me shiver. Ah Cupid, why do you have to be so
complicated?
"S-So... you were in love with me... ever since I was born?" I squeaked. It's mind-boggling if you'll
ask me... having someone love you all your life.
He laughed at my question. "Hindi ba kapani-paniwala?"
Umiling ako.
"It's not a lie, Mina. Believe me."
He was looking at me so intently. It's causing my head to spin. Believe him. Believe him, that's what
my mind keeps on saying. Nakakabudol-budol talaga ang mga mata nya.
"O-Okay."
--
We went to Lola Ghen's place that afternoon. He was craving for kutsinta again. Ang takaw nya lang.
Pero nang makarating kami, si Kuya Rodney ang nakatao. Nabahala ako agad. Palaging nakatao si Lola
Ghen sa tindahan nya. May mga instances lang na nawawala sya roon. Kapag may sakit sya halimbawa.
"Uy Karmina! Kumusta na? Long time no see!" bati ni Kuya.
"Hi Kuya." Nagpalinga-linga ako sa tindahan. "Wala yata si Lola Ghen?" kaswal kong tanong.
"Ah... na kina Lolo RB. May sakit kase," sagot nya.
"Si Lolo RB?" He nodded. "Wow... talagang pinuntahan nya?"
"Oo. Kanina pa ngang umaga."
"Eh?" Talk about devotion!
Kuya Rod chuckled. "Halatang-halata na nga si Lola eh. Balisang-balisa kanina. Hindi mapakali
kanina... kaya pinasamahan ko kay Kimpoy papunta kina Lolo."
"Halatang-halata?" kunot-noo kong tanong. What was he trying to imply?
He grinned at me. "Wag mong sabihing hindi mo alam? Sina nanay nga, halata na rin eh."
"Halata ang alin?"
Kuya Rod rolled his eyes. "Ano ka ba naman Karmina? May boyfriend ka na ah? Hindi ka pa rin marunong
maka-recognize ng taong in love?"
Natawa naman ako sa tanong ni Kuya Rod. Syempre alam ko. Ako pa ba? Matchmaker ako. May boyfriend.
Saka in love sa 'kin ang angel of love.
I mentally shook my head. Saan galing yung huli? Haha...
"Ano nga palang bibilhin mo? I'm sure hindi ka naman pumunta rito para maki-tsismis lang noh?"
I smiled at him. "Hindi. Dinadalaw rin kita syempre," pabiro kong sagot.
Kumunot ang noo nya. "Hanggang ngayon, crush mo pa rin ako? Tibay ah."
Napamulagat ako sa sinabi nya. Bakit nya alam?!
"Bakit mo alam?!"
Tinawanan nya ako. "Matagal ko ng alam. Sinabi sa 'kin ni Jen. Okay lang naman. Sus. Sanay na 'ko,"
medyo mahangin nyang sabi. "Ano nga ang bibilhin mo?"
"Kutsinta. Tawadan mo ha? Ex-crush naman kita eh."
"Sira. Sya sige. Isa lang ha?"
Tumango ako. Ikinuha nya ako ng isang maliit na bilao tapos dinagdagan nya ng isa. Isa lang talaga.
Ang kuripot. Pagkabayad ko ay nagpaalam na ako sa kanya. Ang galing lang. I didn't feel anything
remotely kilig towards him. At ease lang ako sa kanya. Kumportable. Nawawala nga talaga ang feeling
pagdating ng panahon. But I guess, may mga feelings na hindi kumukupas, kagaya ng kina Lola Ghen.
"I hope Lolo RB's okay," I said out-of-the-blue.
"Don't worry," Cupid said. He picked up one piece of kutsinta and ate it whole.
"Takaw," I commented.
He gave me a closed smile.
"Masasabi na kaya ni Lola Ghen kay Lolo RB yung feelings nya? I'm sure naman na aware sila na hindi
na sila batang pareho. Sooner or later..."
He nodded. "I hope she will. Or if he said it first, then it would be as equally great."
"True." Dumiretso kami sa kwarto ko. Oo nga pala, naiwan ko 'yung phone ko sa bahay. Kaya naman
sangkatutak na unread messages and missed calls na ang nabungaran ko pagkabukas ko nito.
"When are you planning to break up with him?" he asked.
"Ewan ko. Baka sa start ng school year?" That sounded heartless. Pero ano namang magagawa ko? I can't
break up with Joseph thru phone. It has to be personal. Hay buhay.
"Wag mo ng patagalin pwede?" pakiusap nya.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Atat?"
"Basta. 'Wag mo ng patagalin. Ganun din naman ang mangyayari, di ba? Saka hindi ka naman nya mahal
talaga."
"Sige, ipaalala mo pa." Nakakapanghinayang kase talaga. What's the use of having Joseph as a
boyfriend kung hindi naman talaga nya ako mahal?
"Wag kang mag-alala..."
Napatingin ako sa kanya. He smiled. Sinadya nya bang bitinin 'yung sasabihin nya?
"Mukhang nadagdagan na naman ah," he said a little while later. He was looking at my bed... at the
jar-
Sinundan ko ang tingin nya at nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita kong may dalawang pusong magkakunekta
ang nadagdag. I lunged at it and looked at the names on the hearts excitedly.
Roberto - Geneva
####################################
READ! Karmic Interlude
####################################
Actually, when the idea first came to me, I immediately thought of six shots. One shots pero six.
LOL. Plano ko talaga, isang love story, isang chapter. Period. Wala ng build up. Hindi interlacing.
Parang anim na kwento na ang tanging connection ay si Mina.
That's how I first perceived it.
Nung sinabi ko kay Diane 'yung idea ko... she only have one concern. Maganda raw yung idea kaso
kukulangin sa build up. At that time, hindi ko iniisip ang build up dahil marami pa akong ongoings.
Pero kailangan kong ilabas ang idea na 'to kasi baka mawala kapag pinabayaan ko. So ano ang gagawin
ko? Mahabang story na naman? She has a point though. Nung inisip kong mabuti, parang ampangit kung 6
shots lang.
Kaya ayan sya ngayon, 19 chapters na and still has a lot more to go. Patience please? Gusto ko na
syang tapusin actually, dahil natutuwa ako sa ending. Kaso... ayun... halfway there pa lang. Siguro
hanggang 40 chapters lang sya but that still depends on the flow of the story.
Sa mga humihingi po ng side stories ng characters... isang malaking NO po ang sagot ko dyan. Bakit?
Nasa kwento na eh. Nakakburyo naman kung paulit-ulit di ba? At sa mga humihingi ng kwento nila sa
loob ng kwento... hindi rin pwede dahil POV lang ni Mina ang gagamitin ko. Kapag first person's POV,
kapag hindi nakikita ng character's POV o nakakausap yung ibang character, hindi mo malalaman kung
ano ang nangyayari sa kanila. Gets po ba?
So kung ang gusto nyo eh magpalit-palit ako ng POV, sorry... but that's never gonna happen.
Hindi ko nire-reveal yung story nila dahil sila mismo, hindi nila nire-reveal lahat sa story. In real
life ba, kapag nagpakwento ka sa isang taong hindi mo ka-close o stranger sa 'yo, ikikwento ba nya
ang buong buhay pag-ibig nya? Sometimes... but not always. Di ba? Let me reveal them in my own time
and in my own terms. I am the writer of the story after all.
Sa mga nagtataka dahil walang masyadong effort si Karmina, kindly read the first few chapters for
Cupid's take on a matchmaker's role. Mukhang hindi nyo binasa ang part na 'yun.
Sometimes, all you need is a gentle push... remember that.
And oh... salamat nga pala sa mga nagbabasa. This is doing better than Dama... at nakakatuwa dahil
hindi ko na kailangang maglagay ng galit na A/N sa ibaba. I chose to not put any A/N. Hindi ko nga
sana ilalagay 'to kasi panira kaso... how else will you read it? Yung iba naman, KH lang ang binabasa
among my stories... tama? So dito ko na lang ilalagay 'to para mabasa nyong lahat.
Salamat po sa pagbabasa, pagboto and epecially sa pagbibigay ng comments. Natutuwa ako sa dami ng
comments. Haha...
Ayun lang... continue...

####################################
Chapter 20: The Truth
####################################
"How?" I asked him. "Sino ang unang umamin?"
Though I was obviously ecstatic about the progress of Lolo RB and Lola Ghen's relationship, I can't
help but wonder who gave in first. Saka bakit? Sinabi agad ni Lola Ghen kay Lolo RB? So all she
needed was a little push after all?
"Hindi na naman importante 'yun, di ba? What matters is that you have their hearts on the jar. You're
almost halfway there!" he said.
I shrugged. "I guess you're right. Still, gusto kong malaman kung ano'ng nangyari just to satisfy my
curiosity. Nakakamangha kaseng after all these years... sila na rin finally."
"Or sila na nga ba?"
"What do you mean by that?" I snapped.
He shrugged then smiled. "Nothing."
Madaya talaga. Bakit parang palagi syang may alam na hindi ko alam? I hate that. Gusto ko kapag alam
nya, alam ko rin... para same phase kami palagi.
"Come on. Spill," udyok ko sa kanya.
Umiling sya. "Wala lang 'to. I just had a fleeting thought."
"And? Care to share that fleeting thought of yours?" I pressed on.
"I just thought... well... what if they chose to still not be together? They were committed, alright,
and their hearts are connected pero... pano kung hindi pa rin maging sila?"
"Pwede ba 'yun?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
He nodded. "Remember, they don't need labels, right? Meaning to say, hindi kailangang maging sila."
"Oh." I was clearly disappointed and he knew it. Alam nyang simula noong naging matchmaker ako, big
deal na sa akin ang happy ending ng mga tao. It's not enough that they have a happy journey.
Kailangang sila ang end game. Kahit pinaglalayo sila o parang hindi sila dati.... basta sila ang end
game.
Naging matchmaker lang ako, nagi na rin akong hopeless romantic. Pero hindi kase maiiwasan 'yun eh.
Kailangan sa trabaho ko ang maging open sa mga possibility, no matter how far-fetched or absurd they
may be.
"Bakit ka nalulungkot, Mina?" he asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" I looked him in the eye. "Happy endings, remember?"
He rolled his eyes at me. "Really? Are we going back to that topic again?"
I smiled sheepishly at him. "Alam mo naman, di ba? Human perspective." Nagkibit-balikat ako. "But
anyway, I don't think it is requisite naman. Basta masaya silang pareho," I said though I know deep
inside that I'm silently wishing for them to end up together.
Nakaka-disappoint kaya 'yung sila the entire time tapos hindi rin naman sila hanggang huli. Or if you
were rooting for them but they didn't end up together. It sucks when love fucks everything up at the
very last minute.
"Tell you what... why don't we go out and wait for the rain? It's May 1st today, isn't it?"
"Oo nga!" Naalala ko... gawain ko nga pala simula pagkabata na magpaulan tuwing May 1.
Nakakapagpatangkad daw kase iyon. Alam ko namang hindi 'yun totoo dahil hindi na rin naman ako
tumangkad pero nakakatuwa lang syang gawin, lalo na kapag kasama ang mga pinsan. "Magpapaulan tayo?"
tanong ko sa kanya.
Tumango sya. "Di ba gustong-gusto mong nagpapaulan?" He smiled at me. Oo nga pala. Naalala kong
kilala nya nga pala ako ever since I was born. Well, more than knowing exactly. But I still can't
believe that. Lie or not, I still can't believe it yet.
I just can't fathom the idea that someone has been in love with me my entire life.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing. Tara sa labas?" aya ko sa kanya. He nodded and followed me outside. It was
drizzling already. Bihira na sa panahon ngayon ang umulan tuwing buwan ng Mayo. Global warming and
all...
He raised his hands to level with his face saka sya tumingala. At that moment, rain poured as if
granting his silent request of filling his palms with water. There was neither thunder nor lightning,
just the dreary gray skies pouring down buckets of water on the whole land.
Nakakamiss tuloy maging bata. Dati, ini-encourage kami ng mga nakatatanda na magpaulan tuwing unang
araw ng Mayo. May ilan pa ngang nakikigulo sa amin. Ngayon, mukha akong emotera dito na mag-isang
nagpapaulan, given na wala namang nakakakita kay Cupid.
Humawak ako sa kamay nya. At least this way, mag-eenjoy kami pareho without inhibitions. He grinned
widely. Okay... so alam kong ikinatutuwa nya 'to. But I like seeing him smile. There's something
uplifting about his smile and I don't know if it's because of the fact that he's good-looking or
because he's the angel of love or both.
Bigla-bigla nya akong hinila. We started running across the land. Putikan, damuhan o semento, hindi
kami tumigil sa pagtakbo hanggang sa hinihingal na kami sa pagod. Running under the heavy rain seemed
to be so foolish yet liberating.
And how I wish I was a kid again. Walang masyadong complications ang buhay.
He removed his fedora hat and put it on my head. He was smiling as he did so.
"Do you enjoy getting hurt?" I asked out of the blue.
"Do I look like I'm hurting?" He looked into my eyes and I was momentarily lost.
"Magaling ka talagang umarte na parang wala lang eh noh? Unfortunately, you can't hide your tears
from me." Pinahid ko ang luhang sumasama sa ulan na pumapatak sa mukha nya. "Bakit ang iyakin mo?
Bakla ka ba?"
He sniffed and laughed. "Ano ba ang masama sa lalaking umiiyak?"
"Marami," sagot ko sa kanya. "But that's commendable. Eh ikaw, umiiyak ka dyan ng walang dahilan."
"I cry in the rain to hide my tears. I didn't think you'd be this keen," paliwanag nya. "Don't worry
about me. I can afford to cry for the one I love."
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa sinabi nya. Ang lakas-lakas ng ulan at ang lamig-lamig pero pakiramdam ko
nag-iinit ang mukha ko. Nakakakilig pala ang prospect na ikaw ang first love ng isang tao (or angel
at that). Lalo na kapag hanggang ngayon, mahal ka pa rin nya. Sana kase pwedeng maging kami eh. Tutal
naman hindi talaga ako gusto ni Joseph, okay na rin ako kay Cupid. Hindi sya mahirap magustuhan. The
only thing preventing me from falling completely is the fact that I know we're not the end game.
There is no happy in our ending.
"Mina?" I felt his hand on my cheek. Much as I wanted to jerk away from his touch, the warmth it
brought reached my skidding heart, bringing comforting heat to my senses. It's like magnet. I don't
want to part from it.
"Y-Yes?"
"God!" His breathing hitched. "Forgive me but I really wanted to kiss you so badly." My heart pounded
inside my ribcage so hard, I was afraid the bones would break. He stooped down as I anticipated, my
eyes were closed.
And then, just as I was expecting sparks and magic and all that mushy things I used to sneer at
before, I felt his warm lips on my cheek. He then pulled me for a hug. We're both drenched. We're
both cold but something about what happened enveloped us both with warmth.
Strange... but strange as it may seem, that story I left unfinished on my laptop might have a chance
of coming to life. Except for the ending, of course. We both know how it will go.
Happy journey, not a happy ending. That's the best deal fate can offer for the both of us. Should I
take that chance?
--
I sipped on the hot chocolate my mother prepared for me and pulled the blanket tighter around me.
"Ano ka ba naman kaseng bata ka! Ang tanda-tanda mo na, nagpapapaniwala ka pa rin sa pamahiin! Ayan
tuloy! Sakit ang inabot mo!" my mother reprimanded. She was shaking her head so vigorously, I'm
afraid it will fall off at any moment.
"Sorry na ma..." I sneezed. "It was just a little rain naman," dahilan ko.
"Little rain?!" She gave me a disapproving glare. "Paano na lamang kung magka-trangkaso ka?! Alam mo
namang pabago-bago ang panahon ngayon, aaraw-uulan, saka mo pa naisipang magbabad sa ulanan?!"
My head was throbbing more because of her high-pitched angry voice. Ang hirap ng may bungangerang
nanay.
"Ma, matutulog muna ako." I gave her the mug and then I covered my face with the thick blanket. I
heard her sigh.
"Dadalhan kita ng pagkain mamaya. Saka ng gamot. Iinumin mo ha? Sya sige..." Nang marinig kong
nagsara ang pintuan ng kwarto ko, saka lamang ako lumabas mula sa ilalim ng kumot.
Hindi ko na maalala kung gaano katagal akong nasa ulanan kanina. Siguro mag-iisang oras rin. Mabuti
pa si Cupid... hindi nagkakasakit.
"How are you feeling?" he touched my forehead and felt my temperature.
I sniffed. "Great. I'm feeling great..." I answered sarcastically. Too bad I can't roll my eyes.
Sumasakit ang ulo ko.
He chuckled. "May sakit ka na, binabara mo pa rin ako." He kissed my forehead. "Rest well Mina. I'll
be just here. Babantayan kita."
"Paki-silent ng phone ko. Ayokong maabala ang pagtulog ko," pakiusap ko sa kanya.
"I already did," he replied. With that, I closed my eyes.
--
"May sakit pala sya..."
There was a sigh. "Yeah. It's all my fault. Inaya ko syang magpaulan kaninang umaga."
"No. It's not entirely your fault. Mahina lang ang immune system nya," said the other. Boses babae
ito. "So... did you tell her already?"
There was another sigh. And this time, a guy spoke. "Please be quiet Psyche. She might hear you."
"No. She's already asleep, Cupid," Psyche insisted. "So, did you tell her already?"
"I can't..."
"Why not? Haven't you lied to her enough?" I heard her ask.
"Magagalit sya sa 'kin kapag nalaman nya."
"So you're really going to hide the truth from her then? But until when? She deserves to know the
truth. Stop toying with the poor girl's heart."
"I am not." Out came another sigh. "Mahirap lang sabihin..."
"I risked our friendship just so I could back you up with your lie. Wala namang nangyari, di ba?
They're still together."
"Pero kapag nalaman nyang gawa-gawa ko lang ang lahat ng 'yun-"
"Cupid, stop being like this. You've been selfish enough. You owe her the truth."
"Pero kase... kapag sinabi kong pakana ko lang ang lahat, baka hindi nya na ako mapatawad. And that
damn guy's been behaving recklessly sweet towards her. Kung aaminin ko sa kanyang gusto naman talaga
sya ni Joseph, she might not leave him for good," Cupid hissed.
"For good or for you?"
"Psyche..."
"Look, I appreciate the fact na handa mong gawin ang lahat para sa kanya. Nung sinabi mong sakyan ko
na lang ang plano mo at palabasing inilagay ko sa trance si Joseph, I appreciate that you're ready to
take all the blame and punishment but Cupid... this is too much. Even from you... Just be honest with
her."
"Baka hindi nya na ako patawarin..."
"She will. Trust me... she will. When she wakes up, tell her. Tell her everything. Joseph's really
smitten with her and we both know it. He's a good guy and we both know it. Hindi sila ang end game,
yes, we can all see that pero kayo ba? Hindi rin naman kayo para sa isa't isa, di ba? Why don't you
play fair?"
Another sigh. "Okay... I'll-I'll tell her. One of these days, I will..."
Tell me? I already know Cupid. Why must you lie? If only you were honest...
####################################
Chapter 21: On Love and Rice Cakes
####################################
I can't believe it. I really cannot believe it. How can someone so angelic be such a rotten liar? All
for love? Love, my ass!
"Hey... good morning." He touched my forehead. "Feeling better?" he asked with a smile.
"Totoo ba yang concern na yan?" I couldn't help but ask.
His smile widened. "Of course. Why won't it be?" He helped me get up.
"Oh... I don't know. I guess being sick made me skeptical towards people... or angels," I answered
with a shrug. I took some tissue and blew my nose. Mababa na naman ang lagnat ko pero sinisipon pa
rin ako. And my head's still swimming from too much sleep. Ilang oras ba akong tulog? Magti-twelve
hours na ata.
He acted as if he didn't take any hint from what I just said. "Your mom brought you food. Gusto mo
bang kumain?" Nang tumango ako, nagpakaabala sya sa pag-aayos ng pagkain. I'm guessing he's thinking
of feeding me.
"Kaya kong kumaing mag-isa," I said to him when he was about to bring the spoon to my mouth.
"It's okay. I'll feed you," he insisted.
"No," mariin kong tanggi. I took the spoon from his hand and started eating by myself. Wala na syang
nagawa kundi ang bumuntong-hininga habang pinapanuod akong kumain. I glanced at him. He was looking
at me. "Kumain ka na?"
"Hindi pa."
"Is that the truth?"
He frowned at me. "Why would I lie about that?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. You just seemed so comfortable with lying," I replied nonchalantly.
"May gusto ka bang iparating?"
"Wala."
He looked intently at me, maybe trying to decipher what I was thinking. I guess it's a good thing na
hindi nya na nababasa ang nasa isip ko. He'll surely hate me for my thoughts.
"Mina... may problema ka ba sa 'kin?" he asked.
"Wala. Ikaw, may problema ka ba sa 'yo?" pabalik kong tanong.
"I don't like your tone."
"Then don't talk to me."
Sumimangot sya. "Mina..."
I raised my hand to stop him from saying what he wanted to say. "I'm still sick. I want to rest.
Would you mind leaving me alone?"
"What if you'll need anything?"
"I can manage. Thanks," I replied curtly. He nodded and got out of my room. I sighed. Sasabihin ko ba
sa kanya yung narinig ko? Pero baka naman kapag sinabi ko 'yun sa kanya, magdahilan na naman sya. He
might feed me up with another lie. How the hell was I supposed to know if he's telling the truth?
Lahat na ng sinasabi nya, pinagdududahan ko.
"Mina?" I heard my mom knock on the ajar door. Lumapit sya sa akin at sinipat ang noo ko. Saka sya
bumuntong-hininga. "Salamat naman. Akala ko hindi na bababa ang lagnat mo."
I smiled sheepishly at my mother. "Ma, kung hindi bababa ang lagnat ko eh malamang sa kamatayan na
ang punta ko," biro ko sa kanya. Piningot ni mama ang tenga ko.
"Ikaw bata ka, kung anu-ano 'yang lumalabas sa bibig mo!" she reprimanded. "Kumain ka na ba?"
"Eto na nga po, kumakain na."
"Uminom ka ng gamot pagkatapos."
"Opo," I said, rolling my eyes. Minsan talaga nakakasawa na ang ma-baby ng magulang. They'll never
treat you as a grown up. Lalo na kapag only girl ka lang. Ano pa nga naman ang aasahan ko? Dadalawa
lang naman kami ni Kuya.
"Nga pala, nagdala ng kakanin si Lola Ghen kanina. Gusto ka nga sanang makita kaso tulog na tulog ka
naman."
"Nagpunta po rito si Lola Ghen?"
Tumango si mama. "Kakausapin ka nga sana at may ikikwento raw sa 'yo. Tulog ka naman." Naupo si mama
sa tabi ko and she gave me and inquiring look. "Kailan pa kayo naging close nung matanda?"
I shrugged. "Nito lang din po."
She touched my forehead and sighed. My fever had waned down since last night, salamat na rin sa
sakdamakmak na kumot na nakabalot sa 'kin. Pinagpapawisan na nga ako eh.
"Magbihis ka maya-maya ha? Pawisan ka na." Hinawakan ni mama ang likod ko. True enough, basa na ito
ng pawis.
"Opo," sagot ko sa kanya. Satisfied, tumayo na rin si mama at nagpaalam. May pupuntahan daw sya. She
said na inihabilin nya ako kina Tita Giselle. Great. Mukha ba akong 10 years old? Hindi yata halata
sa 'kin na kaya kong alagaan ang sarili ko.
Sighing, I finished my bowl of lugaw and then I rummaged my drawer for something comfy to wear.
Nilalamig pa rin ako ng konti. Pagkatapos kong maghilamos at maglinis ng katawan, I went outside to
get some fresh air. Naabutan ko si mama sa may pintuan, kausap nya 'yung barangay captain namin saka
'yung parish priest.
Nilingon nila ako nang mapansin nung isa na nandito ako.
"Anak! Halika..." Pinalapit ako ni mama sa kanila.
"Bakit po?"
"May gusto lamang kaming i-inquire hija." Si Father Lucio ang nagsalita. Magsa-sampung taon na yata
syang parish priest namin. I heard it was his last year. Throughout the course of that, napaganda nya
ng sobra ang simbahan. Hanggang ngayon, punong-puno ang simbahan tuwing Linggo.
Ang galing nya kasing mag-homily. Mapapaisip ka talaga. Saka humorous sya. Nagri-reach out pa sa
lahat ng residente.
"Ano ho 'yun?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Pwede ka bang makuhang Reyna Elena para sa gaganaping Santacruzan ngayong Mayo?"
"Po? Ano ho ulit?" Nabibingi na ba ako or did he just ask kung pwede raw akong maging Reyna Elena?
Seriously... ako?
"Pumayag ka na anak, ipinapatahi ko na 'yung gown na susuotin mo," sabat naman ni mama.
"Ha? Ano'ng gown? Teka ma!"
Tumawa si mama. "Ano ka ba... pumayag ka na. Minsan lang 'to eh."
"Hindi po ba masyado na akong matanda para dyan?" Sa pagkakaalam ko, 14-16 na ang nagsa-satacruzan
ngayon. Kahiya-hiya naman kung makikisali pa ako. Ang tanda ko na kaya.
"Hindi naman halata sa 'yong matanda ka na hija," said Manong Dex, yung barangay captain namin.
"Hala eh hindi po ako mahilig sa mga ganyan. Yung mga younger cousins ko na lang po. Mas magaganda pa
sila."
Napa-tsk si mama at binigyan ako ng masamang tingin. I grunted. Frustration ni mama ang pagiging
beauty queen eh. Mahilig syang sumali-sali sa mga pageant noong kabataan nya. And since I'm the only
girl, sa akin nya ipinasa ang pangarap na 'yun. Yun nga lang, I wanted to be a writer more than
anything.
She wanted me to take up MassComm but I refused and took up Literature instead. Ngayon, she satisfies
her frustration by getting me to wear those ridiculous dresses even if the situation doesn't call for
it. At ngayon nga, inunahan nya na naman ako.
When she said that she already asked someone to make my dress, she meant it. At alam kong magtatampo
sya kapag tumanggi ako.
"Mama naman kasi eh..." I'd bet anything na sya ang nag-suggest na kunin akong Reyna Elena. Noong
high school kase ako, hindi ako makuha-kuha dahil hindi naman ako kagandahan dati. Noong college days
naman, hindi ako madalas makauwi dahil sa school works. At ngayon namang may oras na ako para sa mga
ganitong bagay, saka naman ako tinablan ng matinding hiya dahil ang tanda-tanda ko na.
"Wag kang mareklamo dyan at 'yung magiging escort mo eh ikaw lang ang gustong makapareha."
"Sino po ba ang escort ko kung sakali?"
"Si Rodney."
"Eh? Si Kuya Rod? Ang tanda na nun ah!"
Tumawa si mama sa naging reaksyon ko. "Aba'y sya nga ang nagprisinta na maging escort mo. Bago man
lang daw sya ikasal ay makapartner ka man lang nya." Hindi talaga ako makapaniwala dun. I mean, sure,
alam ni Kuya Rod na naging crush ko sya nung high school pero gusto talaga nya akong makapartner? My
mom grinned widely. "Ano, payag ka na? Payag ka na ha? Payag na sya father."
At tuluyan na akong hindi naka-hindi sa kanila.
--
Nang makaalis si mama, lumabas na rin ako at nagpunta kina Lola Ghen. Gusto kong makibalita sa kung
anuman ang nangyari between her and Lolo RB. Sila na kaya? Sana sila. It's better late than never ika
nga. Baka ito na 'yung panahon para sa happy ending nilang dalawa.
Naabutan ko si Lola Ghen na nag-aayos ng paninda. Ngiting-ngiti ang matanda so I'm guessing na
kakagaling lang ni Lolo RB sa tindahan nya.
"Hi Lola Ghen!" bati ko sa kanya.
"Mina! Kamusta na? Wala ka na bang sakit? Bakit wala kang balabal?" sunod-sunod nyang tanong. She
took her shawl off (she's always wearing one) and draped it on my shoulder. "Halika, pasok ka."
I stepped inside her store. "Medyo okay na naman po ako."
"Hindi naman kaya mabinat ka? Kakagaling mo lamang sa sakit ay heto't gumagala ka na," nag-aalala
nyang tanong.
Umiling ako. "Okay lang po ako."
"Gusto mo ba ng kape? Tsaa? Biskwit"
"Hindi na po. Kakakain ko lang po. Gusto ko lang pong gumala kase nananakit na 'yung likod ko
kakahilata," dahilan ko sa kanya.
"Bakit nga pala naisipan mo akong dalawin?" pag-iiba nya ng topic.
"Eh kase po..." Inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa tenga nya. "Itatanong ko lang po kung... kumusta na po
kayo ni Lolo RB?"
"Ah... iyon ba?" She let out a laugh. "Maayos naman kami."
"May progress na po ba? Nasabi nyo na po?"
She looked away, colors tainted her cheeks.
"Wag na po kayong mahiya sa 'kin Lola Ghen. Sabihin nyo na po. Promise, hindi ko po ipagkakalat,"
pang-uudyok ko sa kanya.
She smiled at me. "Ang totoo nyan hija... siya ang unang umamin."
"Eh? Talaga po?"
Tumango sya. "Noong gabing paalis na sana ako, bigla niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at pinakiusapan
akong huwag munang umalis. Nakapag-usap kami ng masinsinan. Ang sabi niya'y matagal na raw niya akong
minamahal at kahit ilang apo na ang mayroon siya ngayon ay hindi pa rin iyon nagbago.
"Natakot daw siya na baka hindi na siya sikatan ng araw kinabukasan kaya sinasabi na niya ang lahat.
Dyaskeng matanda talaga," naiiling nyang sabi.
"Eh kayo po... umamin na rin po ba kayo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Aba'y oo naman. Magpapakipot pa ba ako?" Tumawa sya. "Hindi ko rin alam kung gaano pa kahaba ang
panahong ilalagi ko sa mundo hija. Masaya ako't nasabi ko na rin sa kanya... matapos ang lahat ng mga
nangyari sa kanya-kanya naming mga buhay."
I leaned on the counter. Ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa mga kamay ko and eyed her questioningly. "So ano
na po kayo ngayon? Boyfriend-girlfriend?"
She looked she was about to burst out laughing. "Boyfriend-" Natatawa syang umiling. "Huli na yata
kami para roon."
Sinimangutan ko si Lola Ghen. "Eh pero... chance nyo na po oh. Maging kayo man lang sana..."
"Hija, hindi mo naman kailangang maging kasintahan ang isang tao para maipamalas mo sa kanya ang
pagmamahal mo. Kailangan lamang ay sinsero ang iyong nararamdaman para sa kaniya."
"Pero-"
Tinapik nya ako sa balikat. "Kapag nagmahal ka na ng totoo, mapapagtanto mo rin ang mga sinasabi ko."
"Paano mo po ba malalaman kung totoo yung nararamdaman mo?"
Umiling sya. "Hindi ko rin alam hija. Hindi mo malalaman. Mararamdaman mo. Mararamdaman mong iyon ang
tama. Hindi mo kailangan ng mga sinyales para malaman na totoo ang nararamdaman mo. Makiramdam ka
lamang ay sapat na."
--
Days passed by hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan na araw na pala ng Santacruzan. Naging sobrang abala ni
mama sa pagpapaganda sa 'kin. The dress was immaculate. There was no better word to describe it. It
was white all over. May mga sequins at beads na nakatahi sa buong gown. Feeling ko si mama ang nag-
design nito eh. Aakalain mong isasali ako sa beauty pageant imbes na sa Santacruzan.
Sina Ate Jen ang nag-makeup sa akin. Kinulot nila 'yung buhok ko na naka-half ponytail sa likod. Ito
'yung kalahati lang ng buhok ang naka-ponytail. Tapos kulay-white rin ang sapatos ko na laking
pasalamat ko na lang at hindi ganoon kataas ang takong.
When they were finished doing me up, they left me alone with a full-body mirror inside my room to
quote-unquote admire the beauty that was me. I stared at my reflection and tried to take the changes
in. I was really beautiful. Well, ngayong gabi lang.
Hindi ko alam na pwede akong maging ganito kaganda. What Ate Jen did was enhance the features of my
face. No heavy makeup. Bawal kase hindi naman parade 'yun kundi activity sa simbahan.
"Pretty..." a voice behind me said.
I saw Cupid's reflection on the mirror. Huh... nare-reflect pala sya sa salamin? Cool. I guess only I
can see it though, given that I'm the only human who can see him. "Thanks," I said to him. Hindi ko
pa rin nakakalimutan 'yung kasinungalingan na inamin nya habang nagtutulog-tulugan ako. It's been
almost three weeks and yet hindi pa rin namin 'yun napag-uusapan.
Mukhang wala syang balak umamin.
He stood beside me and smiled at the mirror. "Bagay tayo," he said then sighed. "If only it can
be..."
"It can't be. I hate liars."
He frowned at me. "What are you trying to imply?"
I gave him a shrug. "Beats me. What am I trying to imply exactly? Either you're just dense or you're
really good at ignoring your conscience. Well, eitherway, I hope karma gets to you."
"Mina..." He touched my arm, which I tugged away.
"Until you're ready to tell me everything honestly, don't talk to me. Don't feed me with more of your
lies. I'm already fed up Cupid."
"A-Ano na ba ang alam mo?"
"Lahat."
He shifted his gaze to the floor. "Sorry."
"Are you even sincere at apologizing or are you just sorry you were caught? Honestly, I don't know
anymore. Feeling ko pinapaikot mo lang ako. Why? To fulfill this stupid task? I told you already,
right? I will fulfill this task. You don't have to lie to me!"
"I am sorry. Really... pangako hindi na ako magsisinungaling sa 'yo."
"Sorry kung hindi muna kita papaniwalaan ha? Partida naman. Ilang beses ka na rin kasing
nagsinungaling sa 'kin," may halong pang-uuyam kong sabi.
He sighed. "If that's what you wish..."
"Gusto ko lang malaman... may totoo man lang ba sa mga sinabi mo?"
He nodded. "Oo naman."
"Alin dun?"
"Yung parteng sinabi ko sa 'yong mahal kita. Totoo yun."
--
I never should have asked. Now, I really can't concentrate. Mabuti na nga lamang at inaalalayan ako
ni Kuya Rodney kase kung hindi, kanina pa siguro ako napasubsob sa kalsada.
Cupid has this way with words that makes you want to believe in them no matter how absurd they sound
like. And it didn't even help na sumasabay sya sa amin paglalakad, ocassionally glancing at me and
smiling while at it.
He was surely an eye candy and I'm sure that if they can see him like I do, he'd surely be mobbed.
His curly hair was more unkempt this time, thanks to the evening breeze. The sleeves of his shirt
were rolled up to the elbows, showing off his muscular biceps. Naka-tokong shorts sya (his usual
attire) and a brown pair of loafers. Simpleng-simple pero ang lakas ng dating.
"Mina, saan ka ba nakatingin?" untag sa akin ni Kuya Rodney.
"Ha? Ah... wala."
Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko sa daan. Pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko, tumingin ulit ako sa gawi
ni Cupid. Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang tumigil sya bigla at tumingala sa langit. The stars were
scattered in the sky. And as one star fell, he immediately closed his eyes and made a wish.
Wait... do wishes work on angels too?
"Mina, you're holding the line."
"S-Sorry."
I started walking again dahil naaantala ko ang mga tao sa likuran.
"Did you know what I wished for?" I heard Cupid ask. My heart skidded for a moment when I realized
how close he was.
I slightly shook my head.
"Do you want to know?" he asked, the side of his lips was curving up.
Umiling ulit ako. "Kuya Rod, di ba kapag nag-wish ka sa shooting star at sinabi mo 'yun, hindi yun
matutupad?" tanong ko kay Kuya Rod. It was meant for Cupid and I knew he got that.
"Huh?" wala naman sa sariling tanong nitong isa.
I shook my head again. "Nothing."
I heard Cupid sigh.
"What's the use? He won't let it come true anyway."

####################################
Chapter 22: Cat-Dog
####################################
What's the use? He won't let it come true anyway.
Whatever he wished for, I know that there is no chance in heaven that it will be granted. Wishes
don't work for angels... especially angels who constantly lie and make mistakes. As I bid goodbye to
my relatives to go back to the city, I couldn't help but wonder what he wished for that night. Of
course, I already have an idea. I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
Joseph insisted on meeting me at the bus terminal. Maybe that's why Cupid's so smug during the whole
trip. The idea of me seeing Joseph again after a long vacation was torture for him. He still wants me
to break up with my boyfriend. I don't think he wanted me to be with anyone else. Now I fully
understand why angels are not allowed to fall in love.
Naalala ko tuloy bigla 'yung scene sa Death Note kung saan isinakripisyo ng isang shinigami ang buhay
nya para kay Amane Misa. Tapos 'yung sumunod na guardian ni Misa (I think Ren's the name though I'm
not really sure) did the same thing. All for love, huh?
But what really happened to them? They ceased to exist. If he would do the same for me, he'll be good
as gone. He'll still exist but no one will know of that existence. I cannot imagine being a
wallflower forever. And he was right, I guess. Hindi ko masasabing dahil lang sa gusto nya ako kaya
gusto nyang hiwalayan ko agad si Joseph. He didn't want for me to suffer the same fate. 'Yung
nakakapagpasaya ka ng iba pero ikaw mismo, malungkot. Mabuti sya, anghel sya. Kahit pa sabihing wala
syang makakatuluyan, it wouldn't matter to him kase hindi na naman nya mararamdaman 'yung need para
magmahal at mahalin. Hindi ko katulad. Kapag naging matchmaker ako, I'll be forever alone. Bilang
tao, I won't survive the misery of having no company. And to think that I'd have to be like that for
eternity? Mas mabuti pa'ng mamatay na lang.
"Mina! I missed you!" Joseph greeted me with a big hug and an even bigger grin. He was more tanned
than the last time I saw him. I guess sinulit nya ang bakasyon sa pagwi-wakeboard at surfing sa La
Union like he originally planned.
"I missed you too," I replied though I don't really mean it. I don't know why I don't mean it. It
just feels like I don't. Huh... what's wrong with me? "May pasalubong ako sa 'yo. Padala ni Lola
Ghen."
I gave him a jar of chocolate crinkles.
"Ang sweet naman ni Lola Ghen," tuwa nyang sabi. "Anyway, how's the trip? Aren't you tired?"
"I am." I grunted. "Wala pa akong tulog."
I was restless the whole trip. Kaya nag-soundtrip na lang ako habang bumabyahe. Nang ma-lowbatt ang
phone ko, nilaro ko naman 'yung iPad ko. Tapos na-lowbatt rin kaya nagbasa na lang ako ng libro. That
was the first time na hindi ako nakatulog sa byahe. Siguro dahil na rin sa nagsawa na ang katawan ko
kakatulog sa amin.
"Would you want to eat first bago kita ihatid?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Pinapauwi ako kaagad ni Kuya eh."
"Ganun ba?"
I nodded. With my grumbling stomach, we rented a cab and I went home.
I announced my arrival as loud as I can. Agad na bumukas ang pintuan ng apartment and out came Kuya
Sic. Kumunot agad ang noo nya nang makitang hindi ako nag-iisa.
"Boyfriend ko Kuya... si Joseph," pakilala ko. "Joseph, kuya ko nga pala."
"Pinatulan ka nyan?" natatawang tanong ni Kuya habang nakaturo kay Joseph.
I glared at him. "Tse!"
"Nice to meet you," Joseph held out his hand. Kuya shook it. "Uh, I'll go ahead Mina. I promised my
sister I'll see her today."
"Oh, okay."
Nang makaalis si Joseph ay agad akong pinutakte ng tanong ni Kuya. "Seryoso ka, boyfriend mo 'yun?"
"Oo nga."
"Nice. Effective pa pala ang gayuma nowadays?"
I jabbed him on the ribs. "Ang sama mo talaga!"
Tumawa sya at inakbayan ako. "Seriously though para kang P.A. nya, Kapatid."
"Sobra naman yung P.A. Kuya..." reklamo ko sa kanya.
He laughed. "Biro lang. I missed you by the way. Kamusta sina mama?"
"Ayun..." Nagkibit-balikat ako.
"Kamusta ang Santacruzan?"
"Okay lang naman," sagot ko. "Eh kayo ni Ate Aly? Kamusta?"
I grinned at him nang mapa-facepalm sya. He didn't tell me about them and I knew that he knew that it
was Ate Aly who told me. Aasa pa ba sya na hindi ko malalaman agad eh close na close kami ng best
friend slash girlfriend nya?
"Kailan mo nalaman?" he asked.
"Matagal na. I think pagkatapos maging kayo, alam ko na."
I laughed as he let out a loud grunt. "Grabe! Ang daldal talaga ni Aly!"
"So kamusta nga kayo?" Tinusok-tusok ko sya sa tagiliran. "Okay ba? Masaya?" I wiggled my eyebrows at
him.
Inihilamos nya ang kamay nya sa mukha ko. "Bawal sa bata."
"Hala! SPG na ba Kuya?"
"Sira!" sabi nya na may kasama pang batok. "Nagka-boyfriend ka lang naging green ka na ha!"
"Joke lang! Asan nga pala si Ate Aly?"
"Nasa trabaho pa." Naupo sya sa couch at saka binutbot ang dala ko. Naghahalungkat yata ng
pasalubong. "Walang biko?"
"Wala. Puno na kase eh."
He pulled out a huge bag of espasol from the hand-carry. "Bakit may espasol? Alam mo namang hindi ako
kumakain nito..."
"Ah... yan ba? Request ni Ate Aly yan eh."
He groaned. "Bakit ba kase hihingi lang sya ng pasalubong eh yung kakanin pa na sya lang ang
makakakain? Ang takaw talaga nun! Selfish pa!" reklamo nya.
"Isusumbong kita kay Ate Aly," pagbabanta ko sa kanya.
"Eh di magsumbong. Samahan pa kita."
Naiiling na lamang akong pumunta sa kwarto ko para magpahinga. I wanted to see the two of them
together para makita ko kung ano ang difference. Halos lahat kase na ginagawa ng mag-boyfriend
(except kissing and all those rated SPG stuffs) eh nagawa na nilang dalawa.
Minsan nga, mas sweet pa nga sila kesa dun sa ibang mag-boyfriend eh. So I'm wondering what have
changed between them. Sayang nga lang at wala pala si Ate Aly. Grabe, kahit Sunday, may trabaho?
I dropped my bag on the bed and lay down beside it. Pumikit ako. Antok, dalawin mo 'ko please!
But instead of antok, si Cupid ang dumalaw sa 'kin. The bed creaked as he sat down. "Can't sleep?" he
asked.
I nodded sourly.
"I can sing for you if you want."
"Okay." He has a good voice. I hope it can make me sleep. Ang sakit na ng ulo ko.
"Can I..." He motioned at the little space next to me. I hesitated for a moment and I guess he saw
that hesitation on my face. "It's okay if you don't want to. Sa paanan na lang ako."
"No, it's okay." I scooted to give him a little space. It was so little that we'd have to cuddle.
Strange... I seemed to like it.
He cleared his throat before starting. "Here goes..."
I don't know where I'm at
I'm standing at the back
And I'm tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing.
I closed my eyes and let his beautiful voice sink in.
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Halos pabulong lang ang pagkanta nya. I felt his arm go around my shoulders as he continued...
Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I'm missing way too much
So when do I give up what I've been wishing for.
I felt at peace. It's like nothing could hurt me while I'm in his arms. My thoughts started to get
blurry... instead of a clear train; they became just flashes of things I don't want to imagine. Like
hearts not connecting, like reaching the end... failing, like falling for the angel of love...
I shook the thought off my head.
"What's wrong? You don't like it?" I heard him ask.
"No, no. I just had a bad thought. Continue please..."
"Okay."
I shot for the sky
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Oh I am going down, down, down
Can't find another way around
And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.
I still need to finish my manuscript. I still need to break up with Joseph. I still have three and a
half hearts to collect. Ah thoughts, leave me at peace! Kailangan kong matulog!
I shot for the sky
I never know why it's coming down, down, down.
I yawned. Finally... I'm feeling drowsy...
I shot for the sky
Oh it's coming down, down, down.
He barely breathed out the last words of the song. I sighed as I couldn't think straight anymore.
Antok na antok na ako and it's only a few jiffies away before my long awaited slumber. Before I could
finally drift to sleep though, I felt it, on his chest, a faint heartbeat.
--
I woke up feeling quite refreshed from my sleep. Madilim na sa labas. Halos limang oras rin pala
akong tulog. Nabubosesan ko sa labas si Ate Aly. Ang ingay-ingay. Nagtatawanan 'yung dalawa and I
guess they're also eating given that I am hearing muffled conversations. Kapag silang dalawa kase,
alam mo kung kumakain sila o hindi kahit pa hindi mo nakikita. They have this habit of talking with
their mouths full with food. Palagi silang napapagalitan ni mama dahil dyan. Wala raw silang table
manners.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto. True enough, they were both stuffing their faces with the food I brought.
Tapos todo kwentuhan pa silang dalawa. Naupo ako sa tabi ni Ate Aly.
"Morning," I mumbled.
"Uy bunso! Thank you sa espasol!"
"Bunso? Magpapakasal na kayo?" biro ko sa kanila.
"Hindi. Shota lang yan," sagot ni Kuya Sic.
"Ano'ng shota?" Ate Aly asked with a frown.
"Short-time. Tanga sa shortcut?" Kuya retorted.
"Alam ko ang meaning ng shota! Ang tinatanong ko eh bakit shota? Kung naa-uppercut kaya kita?!"
"Pwede bang 'wag kayong magsigawan sa harap ko? Ang sakit sa tenga," reklamo ko sa kanilang dalawa.
"Isumbong mo nga 'to kay Tita. Shota pala ha!"
"Joke lang! Di pwedeng mag-joke?"
Ewan. Natatawa na lang ako sa kanilang dalawa. Parehong may sayad.
"Nga pala kuya, di ba ayaw mo ng espasol? Eh bakit todo kain ka dyan?" takang-tanong ko kay Kuya.
Ever since we were kids, ayaw na ayaw nya ng espasol. Maanta raw kase ang lasa, lalo na 'yung powder
na nakalagay dun.
It's kind of new to see him eat one. Lalo na at halos naghati na sila sa content nung isang box. Ano
'yun... nagagawa ng pag-ibig, ganun? Ang korni ha.
"Gutom ako eh."
"Weh?" I've never seen him do things he doesn't like, kahit anong pilit o pagka-desperate. 'Yung
simpleng pagkain ng kahit ano kapag gutom na gutom? No, it won't apply to him. He'd rather die
hungry.
So what is this? Magic?
The magic of love, Karmina. The magic of love.
Can it be true that there is magic in love? Duh. What can you call all these, Mina? Logic? I mentally
rolled my eyes. Of course there is magic in love! What am I thinking? It's a weird fact that I have
to embrace. Parte na ito ng buhay ko... sa ayaw man o sa gusto ko.
"Manahimik ka nga," pagpuputol ni Kuya sa usapan.
"Wala pa bang lutong ulam at kanin?" pag-iiba ko ng topic. Nagugutom na ako and what they're eating
doesn't look so appetizing.
"May binili ako kanina. Nandun sa kusina. Kumain ka na lang." Si Ate Aly ang sumagot. I nodded and
went to the kitchen right away. True enough, may pagkain nga sa lamesa. Naka-plastic pa. Inilagay ko
iyon sa bowl saka ako kumuha ng kanin at nagsimulang kumain.
"Kayo?" tawag ko sa kanila.
"Busog na kami," sagot ni Ate Aly.
"Ano'ng busog? Ikaw lang ang busog noh! Hoy Karmina, magtira ka ng ulam!" sabi naman ni Kuya Sic.
"Kumain ka na rin kaya noh?" I replied to him.
"Ayoko. Mamaya na," sagot nya.
"Parang nagugutom na rin tuloy ako. Kakain na 'ko." Ano ba... ang gulo nila ha? Pumunta si Ate Aly sa
kusina at sinaluhan ako sa pagkain. Maya-maya, sumunod si Kuya Sic at kakain na rin daw sya. Yung
totoo?
"Akala ko ba mamaya ka na?" kunot-noo kong tanong kay Kuya.
Ngumiti si Ate Aly. "Ako lang ang inaantay nyan."
"Kapal," singit ni Kuya Sic.
Ate Aly threw him a glare. "Sige ganyanan," may halong tampo nitong sabi.
Kuya gave her a sheepish grin. "Joke lang."
"Walang joke joke!"
"Arte!"
Halos labasan ako ng kanin sa ilong kakatawa. Eh bakit kase ang cute-cute nila? Noong medyo bata pa
ako, ganyan ang gusto kong uri ng relationship. Cat-dog. Away-bati. 'Yung palagi kayong nagsasakitan
(ng pabiro) pero hindi nyo maiwan ang isa't isa. Palagi kayong nag-aaway pero gusto nyo palagi kayong
magkasama.
True love indeed.
"Hmp!" Tumayo si Ate Aly at lumipat sa tabi ko.
"Arte nito! May paglipat pa ng upuan!" Tumayo si Kuya at hinila ang bangko patabi kay Ate Aly. Ako
naman, while smiling goofily, I dragged my own chair away from them. Parang nagpalit lang kami ng
pwesto.
"Wag ka ngang tumabi sa 'kin!" Itinulak ni Ate Aly si Kuya Sic palayo.
"Aray ko naman!" Gumanti naman si Kuya, nanulak din.
"Ano ba! Wagas makatulak ah!"
"Eh ikaw kaya ang nauna!"
"Eh kasi naman ikaw!"
"Oh ano? Ako na naman?!"
Hala... do I need to intervene? Sanay naman akong nagbubulyawan sila. Araw-araw nga eh... pero noon
'yun... nung hindi pa sila. So wala talagang nabago sa relationship nila? Aso't pusa pa rin?
Nagulat ako nang biglang ihinampas ni Ate Aly yung palad nya sa lamesa. Saka sya tumayo at nagkulong
sa kwarto. Si Kuya naman, naiiling lang na itinuloy ang pagkain.
"Sundan mo kaya."
He tsk-ed. Pero hindi rin sya nakatiis. Tumayo na rin sya at sinundan si Ate Aly. The door was not
locked so deretso lang sya doon. Nagsigawan pa sila ng ilang minuto bago kumalma si Ate Aly.
Hindi ko na talaga matanggal ang ngiti ko simula nang marinig ko 'yung pambungad ni Kuya kanina.
"Mahal! Sorry na!"

####################################
Chapter 23: Friendship Over Love
####################################
It's a good thing na may pasok na uli. Mababaliw ako kapag nagtagal pa ako sa bahay. Nakakaloka sina
kuya! One moment they're both uber sweet na kulang na lang eh tubuan ng mga hantik sa katawan tapos
maya-maya bigla na lang silang mag-aaway na parang on the verge of killing each other na.
Kaninang umaga, nag-away sila dahil hindi sila magkasundo kung sino'ng magtitimpla ng kape ko. I
wasn't even asking na ipagtimpla nila ako ng kape. It started out when Ate Aly made coffee. Nag-
alboroto si Kuya. Bakit sya raw hindi ipinagtimpla ng kape nitong isa. Then there's something about
Ate Aly bragging that she's working at a top notch cafe kaya ang galing galing nyang magtimpla ng
kape. Ito namang si Kuya, ayaw magpatalo. He said na mas masarap syang magtimpla ng kape kase innate
na raw 'yun sa kanya.
And then he made coffee and both turned to me with expectant faces. Parehas nilang ipinapainom 'yung
kape nila sa 'kin. Dalawang tasang kape sa isang umaga? At Lunes na Lunes pa mandin? Baka nerbyosin
ako maghapon!
I politely declined them and they both yelled at me in return. Nainis na rin ako kaya iniwanan ko
silang pareho. Wala na akong pakialam kung magbuhusan man sila ng kape. A few meters away from the
school, their scalded faces flashed through my mind kaya medyo nawindang ako ng konti. I immediately
called Kuya and asked if they have patched things up back at the house. He said they were cool. When
I stormed out, naupo raw sila pareho at nagkape ng tahimik. Ang adik talaga nilang dalawa.
Naiiling akong pumasok sa school. Ah... June. It's Springtime already. Hindi man ramdam sa Pilipinas
ang pagpapalit ng season from winter to spring, ramdam naman ang pag-iinarte ng panahon. Minsan
mainit tapos uulan sa hapon. Maaliwalas ngayon tapos may bagyo na bukas. June... start na naman ng
bagyo season.
Isa pang start nito ay ang bagong school year. Maghahandle na naman ako ng mga freshmen. Sometimes I
get tired of teaching the same stuffs year after year. Iyon ng iyon na lang kase ang itinuturo ko.
Siguro kahit pikit kaya kong magklase.
"Good morning Mina."
"Hi Joseph." I smiled at my boyfriend. Whoever said chivalry is dead hadn't met him yet. He
immediately helped me with my books and insisted on carrying them. May magagawa pa ba ako? He already
took them from my hands.
It was odd for me to be the center of attention. I wasn't pretty back in high school. Puberty was
harsh to me. Isa ako sa mga tinatawag na late-bloomer. And just when I thought that my time would
never come, Cupid and Joseph came to my life. I didn't know if one came with the other o coincidence
lang. Sadly, pareho namang hindi sila mapapasakin sa huli. Parang pina-experience lang sa 'kin na
magustuhan ako ng dalawang lalaki (partida pang hindi tao 'yung isa).
"Mina, okay ka lang ba? You seem fidgety," puna ni Joseph. Hindi kase ako mapakali. Ayoko talaga ng
maraming matang nakatingin sa 'kin. Naiilang ako. I'm pretty sure the whole school knew about Joseph
and I already. Speculations pa nga lang, rampant na ang tsismis. What more ngayong kita na ng mga
sarili nilang mata na kami na nga?
Tinudyo-tudyo kaming pareho pagpasok namin sa faculty. At mas lalo na nang ihatid nya 'ko sa una kong
klase. Hiyang-hiya ako nang pati mga estudyante at teachers ng ibang klase eh sumilip pa talaga sa
classroom ko para makita kung ano o sino 'yung pinagkakaguluhan.
But the moment the class started, I was back to my own game. It's nice to grasp something normal and
familiar. My life had been in one hell of a topsy-turvy ride ever since I made that wish....
nakakatuwa ring makaranas ng something normal. But something's definitely different with this kind of
normality.
Unang-una kong napansin na parang naging ilag si Krisnel kay Jasper. They're sitting a few seats
apart from each other. Krisnel was trying her best not to pay attention to Jasper habang ito namang
isa ay kanina pa tapon ng tapon ng kung anu-ano sa direksyon ni Krisnel just to get her attention.
Jasper made a paper plane and threw it at Krisnel. The plane got stuck on her hair na mukhang hindi
pa sinusuklay. Krisnel stopped writing on her paper. I thought she would be mad at him. Throw him a
glare at the very least but she just took the paper off her hair and dumped it on the floor.
Jasper grunted. Okay, I really need to know what's with her.
I looked at Cupid who was just standing at the doorway and he immediately understood. Lumapit sya sa
'kin and wrapped his hand around mine. It was like holding hands with a live wire. My nerves went
berserk with his touch. Shit.
Everything seemed to have stopped. We were enveloped in silence.
"What is my normal self supposed to be doing in the normal time frame right now?" I asked, trying to
make small conversations. I was also wondering about that for the longest time. Sabi nya kase, kapag
nasa time warp kami, hindi hihinto ang paligid. May sarili lang kaming time so parang on the normal
time frame, tuloy pa rin ang ginagawa ng mga tao, including me. So what was I supposed to be doing
right now? Nakatanga lang?
"You're doing nothing, just standing in front of the class. When you're inside the time warp, things
are slowed down a million times... on the normal time frame. So dito sa time warp natin, it's the
opposite. Things were accelerated a million times. So parang fast-forward tayo."
"Ha?" I gave him a quizzical look. "Mas lalo akong naguluhan!"
He chuckled. "Don't bother understanding it. Why did you want to be in a warp anyway?"
I frowned at him. "I thought you knew?"
He shrugged. "Well, I got a hunch."
"What's wrong with them?" I pointed at Krisnel and Jasper. "Okay na sila before summer di ba? What
happened?"
"Let me ask you something Mina. If I asked you to jump off a cliff with a promise that I will catch
you from below, will you jump?"
"Yes," I said with confidence. "I'm sure you won't let me die."
He wrinkled his nose. "Fine. Let's change the catcher. What if it's Joseph who promised to catch you
from below, will you take the leap?"
I shook my head. "No."
That made him grin. "I'm glad you trust me more."
"I don't. I just have confidence in you because you're an angel and you're... well, I'm just sure you
won't let me die."
"Because I love you?" There goes my dancing nerves again. "Why are you so ashamed of saying the
words?"
"I-I'm not. It's just... awkward." Like it is now.
He squeezed my hand, sending my nerves into frenzy again. Bakit ang bilis-bilis ng tibok ng puso ko
ngayon? "Sorry."
"It's okay. You didn't answer my question though."
He gave me a smile. "Isn't it obvious? She's scared."
"Why would she be scared? His feelings are genuine."
"Ah but she doesn't know that. And he's the first one to give her this kind of attention so she
doesn't know what she should do."
"Ano'ng gagawin ko ngayon? Jasper might think that she doesn't like him. Baka mamali pa yung pag-
interpret nya ng signal eh magkagulo pa!"
"Talking always helps. Try talking to her. Make her see some sense, which you also obviously lack."
"What was that supposed to mean?"
He smirked. "Nothing."
"Labas ako rito. Wala naman akong kinalaman dito eh. Matchmaker lang ako," depensa ko sa kanya. I
knew he's talking about my relationship with Joseph again. Ayaw nya talagang tigilan hanggat hindi
ako nakikipaghiwalay.
"You are more involved in this than you'll ever realize. One slight change of course will affect the
whole thing. Remember Mina... rippling effect."
I sighed. "Ang hirap naman. Mas mahirap pa ngayon, hindi kita makausap nang hindi tayo magkahawak-
kamay. Feeling ko talaga may nananadya eh." I gave him an accusing look though I know I was the one
who made talking to him mentally impossible.
Si Joseph kase! Kasalanan nya 'to eh. He shouldn't have kissed me. Eh di sana malaya akong nakakausap
si Cupid anytime I want!
He grinned at me. "Pabor sa 'kin 'to," he said. That made me blush. Darn it.
"Kakausapin ko na lang si Krisnel mamaya," sabi ko sa kanya, ignoring his remark. I tugged at my
hand, sending him a signal na bitawan nya na ang kamay ko. He ignored that one.
"What are you going to teach them today?" he asked.
"Introduction muna. First day of class eh. Tinatamad pa 'kong magturo," sagot ko sa kanya. "Bitaw na
kase nang makapagsimula na akong magklase."
"Mamaya na. There's still time."
"Cupid." I gave him a reprimanding glare. "Stop this. I'm not playing with you."
"I wasn't playing either."
"Nananamantala ka," I pointed out.
"I know." He sighed. "Fine." He finally let go of my hand. The sudden whirlwind of noise made me feel
dizzy. Napasandal ako sa table ko habang pilit na ina-adjust ang tenga ko. Nang medyo naiintindihan
ko na ang mga nangyayari sa paligid ko, saka ako nagpalinga-linga sa klase. I saw three not-so-new
faces on one corner. Kilala ko sila. They're from my other class. Late yatang nag-enroll ang tatlo
kaya napalipat sila ng section. Block sections kase per year pero may tendency na ma-reshuffle. May
mga estudyante kaseng nagpapalipat ng section. Ang mga nauuna, minsan napupunta sa higher section.
And the late ones were transferred to the lower sections na pangit ang schedule. Schedule lang naman
ang habol ng mga estudyante kaya sila nagpapalipat eh.
"Je? Naligaw yata kayo ng klase?" pabiro kong tanong kay Rose Angelou, or Je Luu as she's commonly
known.
"Eh kase ma'am, pahulihin 'tong si Eileen mag-enroll. Ayan tuloy!" kunwari'y reklamo nya sa kaibigan.
"Hala! Kasalanan ko bespren?" Sumimangot naman itong si Eileen bilang pangungonsensya.
"Joke lang bespren," nakangiting sabi ni Je. Magkaibigan silang dalawa. Inseparable, kagaya nina Kuya
Sic at Ate Aly. Sila 'yung lesbian version kumbaga, not that they're lesbians. Eileen was the class
muse last sem while Je Luu was the artist. And here comes the problem.
Eileen had a huge crush on this classmate of theirs na nakasama nila sa paglipat ng section. Si
Jeron, ang star player ng buong department. He's the typical crush ng bayan, with his good looks and
talent he could get the heart of any girl he wanted. Unfortunately, sa dami ng nagkakagusto sa kanya,
hindi malabong may ilan na masasaktan.
And looking at the three of them, mukhang ang mag-best friend pa ang minalas. Je Luu and Jeron's
strings were connected and glowing... occasionally. My theory was that Je Luu feels something towards
Jeron and the latter feels the same way. Both were oblivious about it. And now, Eileen has feelings
for Jeron as well.
Ah love... why does it have to be so complicated?
I set that aside for later. Kailangan ko munang magklase. After the individual introduction of the
class, I proceeded to the opening lesson. Since Literature ang subject ko, I decided to start my
lesson with a story. Greek mythology of Psyche and Cupid. The latter was sitting quietly, listening
intently.
Sa kwentong iyon, nagkatuluyan silang dalawa. It was said that Psyche was the youngest among the
three daughters of a king and by far, the most beautiful. She was so beautiful that people had
stopped worshipping Venus. Jealousy drove the goddess mad that she ordered her son, Cupid, to go and
strike Psyche's heart with his arrow, making her fall in love with a monster. Upon seeing her though,
he was so taken aback by her beauty that he dropped the arrow and pricked himself. He fell in love
with her.
Although Psyche was beautiful, no one had attempted to woo her. Her parents consulted the Oracle and
learned their daughter's fate. They left her somewhere for the monster to take her away.
She was later brought to a beautiful palace to live with her invisible husband. She later became
homesick and asked her sisters to come and visit her. They grew jealous of what she had so they
brainwashed her into thinking that the monster was just fattening her up to later eat her. They
insisted that she sneak a peak of her husband and kill him when she had the chance.
Of course, when she saw how beautiful he was, all the attempts of killing him evaporated in an
instant. Kahit pala noong Grecian time, superficial na rin ang mga tao. Sabagay, kahit naman mga gods
and goddesses sa Mt. Olympus, parang mga tao rin eh. Ang pinagkaiba lang, they were utterly beautiful
and powerful.
Well anyway, Cupid left Psyche and Psyche looked for him. Out of desperation, nilapitan nya si Venus.
Venus asked for her to be executed though bago pa man mangyari iyon ay napigil na ito ni Cupid. They
ended up together and of course, Psyche has to be made a goddess para together forever na.
I was not really a fan of Greek mythologies. Masyado kaseng mabilis at convenient ang mga pangyayari.
I don't know... it just seemed... wrong. Pero dati 'yun. Ngayon tuwang-tuwa na ako sa Greek myth,
thanks to my new job.
When my class ended, Joseph insisted that we go out and have dinner but I declined. I need to be away
from him as much as possible hanggang sa makaipon ako ng lakas ng loob para hiwalayan sya. I know it
will damage my reputation in the school. Baka masabihan pa ako ng tanga. Mukha nga namang ang tanga-
tanga ko kapag pinakawalan ko pa si Joseph. Pero wala eh. Kailangan. Sometimes, we really have to
make sacrifices in order for us to reach our goals. And my goal would require a few heartaches and
heartbreaks... well, figuratively.
Mabuti na lamang at tinawagan ako ng editor ko. Kinukulit na ako tungkol sa latest manuscript ko. I
still have a few months naman before my deadline but she insisted that I should pass it earlier. Lima
kaming writers na hawak ng editor ko. And out of the five of us, ako ang pinakamatagal magpasa ng
manuscript.
I told my editor, Raice, about my latest story. She liked the idea very much pero nung sinabi kong
ipapasa ko ito next year, binatukan nya ako at sinabi na after 5 months lang daw ang stretch nya.
Give or forget the whole thing. So ano pa ba ang choice ko kung hindi pumayag?
Sumalampak ako sa higaan ko. Wala pa sina Kuya at Ate Aly. Mabuti na lang. Hindi ko ma-take ang
constant bickering nung dalawa. Hindi na yata sila magmamature na dalawa.
"Ano nang nangyayari sa story mo?" Cupid asked. He was sitting in front of me, Indian sit din.
"Wala pa ako sa kalahati," sagot ko.
"Would you mind if I take a look?"
"Okay..." I gave him my laptop. I watched his face in fascination as I waited for his reaction. After
a while, he finally smiled. "What?" I asked, frowning.
"It's cute," sagot nya.
"Cheesy ba? Corny?"
"No... okay, a bit. But it's still cute."
I grunted. The last time na may lalaking nagbasa ng story ko, naiyak ako sa sobrang kahihiyan. Binasa
ni Kuya dati 'yung story ko na sinulat ko when I was in high school. Sa gitna ng klase nila. Umiyak
pa ako nun eh.
"When will the matchmaker fall in love with Cupid?" he asked, a glint of mischief was clear in his
eyes.
I gave him a safe answer. "Soon." I snatched the laptop from him then I continued typing. Naramdaman
ko syang gumalaw pero hindi ko na sya pinansin.
"You? When will you fall in love with me?" Napalingon ako sa kanya when he asked that and my
heartbeat tripled when I realized how near he was. He's a freaking hairline away!
"H-Ha?"
He looked deep into my eyes as his hand tucked the stray hair away from my face. "Mina... can I-"
Para akong binunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko. It was my mom.
"Y-Yes ma?" I squeaked.
"Anak..." There's a hint of sadness in her voice that I immediately knew something was wrong.
"Ma, what's wrong?"
"Si Lola Ghen at Lolo RB... wala na sila."

####################################
Chapter 24: Love and Lost
####################################
I still could not believe it. They were gone. Pareho na silang wala. Sabi ni mama sa 'kin, masaya pa
raw sina Lola Ghen kahapon. Napilit sila ng mga apo at anak nila na magkasal-kasalan sa tabing dagat.
Pumayag ang dalawang matanda. I guess pangarap nilang dalawa 'yun. 'Yung makasal sa isa't isa na
kahit kunwari lang ay pumatol sila.
Naghanda pa raw sina Kuya Rod. Picnic kumbaga. Then when sunset came, pinabayaan nila 'yung dalawang
matanda sa aplaya. Nakaupo sila pareho sa bench na inilagay nila roon, magkahawak ng kamay. Masaya pa
raw nagkikwentuhan 'yung dalawa. Kinuhanan pa nila ng picture. And then... Lolo RB stopped talking.
Pumikit ito. Si Lola Ghen daw ngumiti na lang din nung mapatingin sa gawi ni Lolo RB at nakita itong
nakapikit. Mom said they saw Lola Ghen squeeze Lolo RB's hand and then she closed her eyes too.
Akala nila natutulog lang sila at nang maggagabi na ay nilapitan nila ang dalawang matanda para
gisingin at nang makauwi na. But when they touched the old man's arm, naramdaman nilang malamig na
ito. Same with Lola Ghen. Both were gone.
"Are you still crying?" he asked me. Tinalikuran ko sya habang nagpapahid ako ng luha. It's been
hours since the call from my mother pero hindi pa rin ako makaget-over. Why was I so affected?
Simple. Nanghihinayang ako. Madalas kong ipaglaban 'yung happy ending na ginugusto ng maraming tao.
He, on the other hand, didn't find their deaths tragic because after all this time, they managed to
fess up and be committed even for a while.
I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Mina, matatanda na sila. Sooner or later, they have to leave this
world to move to a better place. They didn't die in vain so stop crying already."
"P-Pero kase..." Napahagulhol ulit ako nang maalala ko kung gaano kaikli yung time na nagkasama sila.
Compared to decades of being apart, sobrang iksi ng panahon na naging masaya sila. I just think it's
unfair. "It's unfair!" I blurted out.
I heard him sigh. "Relax. Love does not end in death. Kahit mawala man sila sa mundo, buhay pa rin
ang pagmamahal nila sa isa't isa kahit saan sila magpunta. That is the beautiful thing about love. If
it's true, it's eternal. It will last forever."
Those words of his comforted me a bit. Siguro nga masyado lang akong nadala. Alam ko naman sa simula
pa lang na hindi na rin sila magtatagal ng sobra sa mundo. Matanda na sila pareho. They deserve a
break from life. I just didn't expect it to be this soon. Para bang pinaamin lang ang dalawa tapos
tinapos na agad 'yung saya nila.
But thinking back about what my mom had told me, tingin ko naman masaya sila bago nila lisanin ang
mundo. Thinking about their smiling faces made me realize na kuntento na sila kung saan man sila
dinala ng kapalaran nila pareho.
Pinahid ko ang natitirang luha sa mata ko and I gave him a weak smile. "Okay na 'ko... I think," I
said to him. He gave me a hug and kissed my temple. It made me better in an instant. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Sinundo ako ni Joseph sa bahay kinabukasan. Inis na inis si Kuya dahil kilig na kilig si Ate Aly kay
Joseph. Alam ko namang palabas lang ni Ate Aly 'yun para pagselosin si Kuya eh. But nonetheless, they
made the morning atmosphere lighter. Kagabi, naikwento ko sa kanila 'yung sinabi sa 'kin ni mama.
Kuya was silently hugging Ate Aly habang umiiyak ito. We all said our prayers for the souls of the
old couple. Hindi ko pa sure kung makakauwi kami this coming weekend to be in their funerals.
"Hey... smile," Joseph said to me. He tilted my chin up and gave me a grin. "Hindi bagay sa maganda
ang malungkot."
Pinagbigyan ko naman sya. "Ayan na."
Inakbayan nya ako habang naglalakad kami papuntang school. Cupid was on the other side of the street,
hands in his pockets, walking like he owns it. He caught me looking. I gave him a smile and he smiled
back. And then he looked straight ahead. Malungkot na naman ang mata nya.
Inihatid ako ni Joseph hanggang sa classroom ko and just like the other days, tinudyo na naman kami
ng klase ko. Ganito na lang ba araw-araw?
"Thanks," I said to Joseph when he put my books on the table.
He smirked at me. "Anything for you, love," he said, quite louder than I would have liked. Isa na
namang round ng 'yeeeeee' ang nakuha namin mula sa klase. He saluted as if he was proud of what he
had done and then he finally left.
Kahapon, nag-elect na sila ng class officers. Kagaya ng inaasahan ko, si Eileen ang naging muse at si
Jeron ang escort. Jason remained the president of the class while the other Jason, Jason Uy, became
the vice.
Muli kong pinatayo ang klase sa gilid ng classroom to arrange their seats alphabetically. Malas nga
lang ngayong taon, may tatlong nadagdag sa apelyidong nagsisimula sa B at C kaya medyo magkahiwalay
sila Krisnel at Jasper. Nasa pangalawa silang column, dulo sa dulo. I didn't have any luck with Je
Luu and Jeron either. Kung sana by first name ang arrangement eh di nagkatabi man lang sila. Pero
hindi eh. Ang layo ng Merino sa Teng.
I decided to proceed with my lesson anyway.
When lunch time came, I had no choice but to eat with Joseph. It's not that I don't want to. Gusto ko
rin naman syang kasabay mag-lunch. It's just that, since we became a couple, it's like people were
expecting us to be together always. Minsan nakakasawa na ring sumagot sa mga tanong nila. Kapag
nakikita nila akong naglalakad sa hallway mag-isa, palagi nilang tinatanong kung nasaan si Joseph.
Parang ayaw na yata nila kaming magturo at ang gusto na lang eh mag-PDA kami?
Joseph bought our lunch while I searched for an empty table. Doon ako sa pinakasulok ng cafeteria
naupo. Cupid quietly sat down on the seat beside me. Ako naman, nagsimulang mag-obserba ng mga tao sa
paligid ko. It's cool seeing things from a matchmaker's perspective. I could see the strings, the
stolen glances, the unconscious reactions... it's like everything is magnified. Lahat napapansin ko.
With my peripheral vision, I saw Eileen and Je Luu. Dala ni Je Luu ang tray ng pagkain nila habang
masaya namang nagkikwento si Eileen. I looked at their direction to speculate. Maya-maya'y lumapit si
Jeron kay Je at nag-offer na ipagbuhat sya ng tray.
Tuwang-tuwa namang ibinigay nitong isa 'yung tray ng pagkain. Eileen said something to Jeron and the
latter nodded. I'm guessing na inaya nitong sumabay sa kanila sa pagkain dahil maya-maya'y sa iisang
table sila naupo. Jeron stood up to buy his food. I focused on Eileen and Je.
Napangiti ako nang makita kong nanggigigil na pinisil-pisil ni Eileen ang payat na braso ni Je, na
para bang kinikilig. Tawa naman ng tawa itong isa.
"What are you looking at?" Natapos ang sight-seeing ko nang maupo si Joseph sa tapat ko, completely
blocking my view. He turned and followed my gaze. With his slight move, I was able to peek over his
shoulder. Nakita kong bumalik na si Jeron. Ang bilis namang umorder nun? Naningit siguro.
Joseph looked back at me, saka sya ngumiti. "Why are you looking at them?" he asked.
"Wala lang. Ang cute lang nilang tingnan."
"Who? Eileen and Jeron? Yeah... bagay nga sila," pagsang-ayon nya.
"No. I meant Je Luu and Jeron."
He chuckled saka sya umiling. "Nah... I think mas bagay sila ni Eileen."
Sinimangutan ko sya pero parang hindi nya napansin. He pushed the plate of food towards me and
motioned me to eat.
"What will you be doing this weekend?"
I shrugged, not really sure what to answer.
"Ibig sabihin ba nyan eh wala? Would you want to go on a date with me?"
"Baka umuwi ulit ako sa 'min. Hindi ko pa alam. Inaantay ko pang mag-decide sina kuya," sagot ko sa
kanya.
He frowned at me. "Why would you go back there? Kakagaling mo lang dun di ba?"
"Si Lolo RB at Lola Ghen kasi..."

"What about them?"
"They passed away..."
Joseph said that he wants to go with me. Medyo nalungkot sya nang malaman na wala na ang dalawang
matanda. Tuwang-tuwa sya sa dalawa, lalo na kay Lola Ghen. Magiliw kasi ang mga ito tapos masasarap
pa ang mga kakaning itinitinda ni Lola Ghen. I told him na kapag uuwi kami, sasabihan ko sya.
Later that night, Cupid bugged me again for the nth time about me and Joseph. Irked, I chose to
ignore him all night. I focused on my manuscript. Nakaka-one-fourth pa lang ako. The matchmaker was
just getting to know the angel of love.
As I was typing, I could not help but imagine us. Habang nagtatype ako ng kwento, parang nagiging
makakatotohanan ito. It was scarily realistic na parang bawat pangyayari ay naiisip kong mangyayari.
Worse, naiisip ko itong mangyari sa aming dalawa.
Scared of continuing, I closed my laptop and decided to sleep it off. Maybe in the morning, mawawala
na rin 'yung nakakabahalang pakiramdam.
Nang sumunod na umaga, si Jasper agad ang nabungaran ko pagpasok ko sa school. Umagang-umaga ay
busangot sya.
"O? Ano'ng nangyari sa 'yo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Ma'am... si Krisnel kasi." Habang naglalakad kami ay nagsimula syang magkwento. Hindi na raw sya
nito kinakausap. Ni hindi na rin sya tinitingnan. It was like confessing to her signaled the end of
their friendship. Nagsisisi sya ngayon na nagtapat pa sya. Sana raw, itinago na lang nya.
I gave him a few encouraging words and urged him to try harder. Sabi ko sa kanya, marahil ay takot
lang si Krisnel. She was not sure if his intentions were clear or if he was sincere enough. I told
him to make an effort for her to see that he is.
He thanked me and walked away, feeling determined.
Later that day, Cupid pulled me aside. "I want to show you something," he said. He was grinning from
ear to ear and I didn't know what made him so happy. But that got me curious so I went with him to
see that thing he wanted to show me.
Dinala nya ako sa study area sa may likuran ng building namin. Sitting on one table were Krisnel and
Jasper, immersed in their own little bubble. Cupid and I moved closer to them to listen. Mabuti na
lang hindi nila kami nakikita. Mapagkamalan pa kaming mga usisero.
"...look, lahat naman ng tao takot eh pero bakit 'yung iba sumusubok pa rin? Bakit ikaw, ayaw mo? 'Di
ko naman sinasabi sa 'yo na sagutin mo 'ko agad, di ba? Pwede namang hinay-hinay muna. Kung gusto mo,
friends muna. 'Wag mo lang akong iwasan. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama, di ba?"
"Why isn't she saying something?" I asked Cupid. I was pertaining to Krisnel who was looking down on
her book, her face beet red.
Cupid chuckled. "She's just shy. Don't worry."
"Well, she needs to open up a bit more."
"She will," he said, as if assuring me.
Jasper sighed. "Ayaw mo ba sa 'kin?" malungkot nitong tanong. "Yun ba Pepay? Ayaw mo sa 'kin noh?"
Answer him! I wanted to say to her. She remained silent. Nakayuko pa rin. Finally, feeling defeated,
Jasper stood up and left her. Ito namang isa, pagkaalis ni Jasper, saka iyon hinabol ng tingin tapos
saka sya sumubsob sa libro nya.
"Ano ba!" naiinis kong sabi.
"Fear is a huge factor that hinders growth in a relationship. Takot sumugal. Takot sumubok. Takot
masaktan. Normal lang 'yan."
"Pero pa'no na sila nyan? How will they be connected if she's too scared to try?"
"Give her some time. Mahirap din kasing i-process na gusto ka ng taong gusto mo. Para kasing sa una,
kapag akala mo sa 'yo lang nanggagaling ang feeling, parang kuntento ka na hindi. Gugustuhin mong
gustuhin ka rin nya but you don't often see it actually happening. And when it does, you'll start to
wonder why. Bakit ikaw? Bakit gusto ka rin nya? It shatters the glass. Before, they seemed perfect
but afterwards parang iisipin mo kung ano ang mali sa kanila dahil nagustuhan nila ang isang tulad
mo. Tingin nyo kasi palagi, hindi kayo deserving. Normal na sa inyo ang pagiging insecure. Palagi
ninyong hinahanapan ng mali ang mga sarili ninyo."
His words hit home. Naalala ko 'yung mga times na iniisip ko kung bakit nagustuhan ako ni Joseph.
Kung bakit niya ako nagustuhan. Pareho silang out of reach para sa 'kin na parang imposibleng
magustuhan nila ako. But they did and I didn't know why. I am still wondering what's wrong with them
both.
But he has a point. Sadya lang ba talagang insecure tayong mga tao? May mga bagay na parang gustong-
gusto nating makuha pero kapag nandyan na, hindi na natin matanggap. Siguro dahil karamihan sa mga
pangarap natin ay parang sobrang taas at imposible.
I feel sad for Krisnel but I could not blame her. Not when I'm also feeling what she's feeling.
Why do I always feel so unworthy?

####################################
Chapter 25: Reasons
####################################
"Joseph, can I ask you something?"
He knitted his eyebrows. "Yes?"
"Why do you love me?"
He coughed as some of his food got stuck on his throat. We were eating breakfast because we both
didn't have class until ten. Sabi ko sa kanya sabay kaming kumain ng breakfast. Nasa loob kami ng
isang kainan sa tapat ng school nang bigla kong maalala 'yung mga sinabi ni Cupid kahapon.
I guess I was unconsciously thinking about those things all morning.
"Well, to tell you honestly... I don't know. I'm not sure why I love you. I just do. I mean, could
you really tell why you love a person? Kapag naman nagmahal ka, 'yun na 'yun, di ba? You love them
and that's it." Tiningnan nya ako ng mataman saka sya nagpatuloy. "If I would list down all the
reasons why I love you, they might backfire and turn out to be the reasons why I hate you. Kapag alam
mo ang rason kung bakit ka nagmamahal, malalaman mo rin ang rason kung bakit ito nawawala."
Napangiti ako sa sagot nya. "Well, you have a point there. Thanks for answering."
"I could give you a thousand reasons why I love you and that's not even half of the whole thing,"
sabat naman ni Cupid. I pretended to not hear him.
"Why did you ask?" tanong ni Joseph.
"I'm trying to figure out the good qualities you saw in me that made you want to love me. Up to this
day kasi parang hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang boyfriend kita. I mean, I know na tayo na, it's just
that, I can't get this idea out of my head. The idea that you'll just drop me like a hot potato one
day," sagot ko sa kanya.
Joseph smiled and held my hand. "What proof do you want para maniwala kang mahal kita? Do you want a
ring, Mina?"
Agad akong umiling.
"Good. 'Cause I don't think we're both ready for that."
"You're both not ready?" He sneered. "If I were him, I would have married you in a heartbeat."
"You're different. You knew me since I was a kid."
"Exactly."
"What do you want, Cupid?" I asked, exasperated.
"You know what I want. I've always wanted you and it will never change," he answered directly while
looking intently at me. I was in my usual position, Indian sit, on my bed with the laptop on my lap
and my back against the headrest. He was sitting in front of me, same position, while shuffling my
iPod. Isang earpiece lang ang nakapasak sa tenga nya.
"How can you be so direct?"
He smirked. "It's because I'm not afraid."
"Oh... right. Hindi ka nga pala tao."
He looked hurt by my statement pero mabilis syang nakabawi. "Yes, I guess that could work on my
advantage too."
"Speaking of you not being human..." I stopped typing and closed my laptop before I continue. "Please
explain this to me 'cause I really can't understand how it happened-"
"What happened?"
"You have a faint heartbeat."
Bahagya syang natigilan tapos ay natawa maya-maya. "I have a what?"
Frowning, I reached out to him and pressed my ear against his chest, waiting for the beat of his
heart-I assumed he has one. I listened intently pero wala akong narinig. The next thing I knew, his
arms were wrapped around me.
"Hey!" saway ko sa kanya.
"You initiated," bulong nya.
"I did not! Let go, Cupid!" I hissed.
I struggled to get free from his embrace and I'm not sure how much but in the end, I was pushed down
the bed with him looking down on me. It was the moment that I didn't even want to breathe. Sobrang
lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. What was he thinking? This couldn't happen! This should never happen!
I tried pushing him away as he slowly dipped his head. When it was only a mere millimeter away, I
closed my eyes shut. Our lips touched for a fraction of a second and then I couldn't feel his weight
anymore.
Confused, I sat up and looked for him. I found him on lying on the floor, writhing in pain. His skin
turned pale with blackened veins spreading like wildfire. His cheeks were hollowed and his eyes
turned white, like he was being possessed.
"C-Cupid?"
I hurried to his side when I saw him convulsed. He was shaking uncontrollably. Para syang inaalisan
ng buhay.
"H-Hey! If this is one of your sick games, then please stop playing! You're scaring me!"
If he knows me enough, then he should have known that I'm not really a huge fan of pranks. My brother
had me victimized a lot of times when we were kids.
Cupid reached out for my hand. "M-Mina..."
"I'm here. What's happening to you?!"
He brought my hand to his chest. I gasped when I felt it... the hard, erratic pounding of his heart.
It felt so real and was pumping so wild, para na itong sasabog sa sobrang lakas. And then, something
happened.
His heartbeat slowed gradually while his skin regained its color. I can see his irises again and the
veins started to fade away. When he was completely back to his normal self, his heartbeat was gone. I
couldn't hear it anymore.
It was like a Dementor's kiss, momentarily stealing his life away from him and as if breaking away
from that kiss, he was given back his life.
I helped him get up.
"Okay ka na?" I asked, worried.
He nodded slightly.
"Hey... answer me this and be honest, okay? Did you know that that could happen?"
He looked at me, his eyes just starting to regain their focus.
"Well?"
"It was worth it," he answered weakly.
I slapped his shoulder. "You're stupid! You could have died!"
He smiled at me. "I can't die."
"But you could cease to exist!"
"I have no regrets, Mina."
I looked at him sternly. "Promise me that you won't ever try to do that again."
He shook his head. "I can't."
"Cupid-"
"Look, I can take the pain, okay? Don't worry about me."
I sighed and held up my hands in defeat. "Just-just don't try to kiss me again."
Cupid didn't dare come near me after that. Every time na lalapit sya, umiiwas ako agad. I could not
bear see him suffer like that again. To think that it was just a touching of the fraction of our
lips, not even the whole thing tapos ganoon na ang epekto sa kanya. What more if... I brushed the
thought away.
I started typing on my manuscript again. The angel of love's utmost weakness that will render him
near dead is the kiss of the matchmaker. Should this love story end in tragedy? How can I do it
justice? Should I give them a happy journey or a happy ending?
Either way, they'll experience happiness, right?
"What's with that frown on your face?"
"Psyche?!" Psyche was standing near my window. I rushed to her and hugged her. "Where have you been?
I missed you!"
She laughed. "I missed you too, Mina. How are you?"
I pulled her to the bed and told her everything. From the moment that I knew Cupid was lying to me up
to that incident that happened yesterday. She was listening intently, as if hanging on to my every
word and when I was finished, she held my hand, sighed and then started giving me her thoughts.
"He's really reckless at times." She grinned at me. "But what did you feel when you kissed?"
"Psyche!"
"Oh come on, Mina. Woman to woman..." she urged.
What could I say? I didn't know what I was feeling exactly. One moment I was hesitant and excited and
then confused. Makalipas ang ilang segundo, sobrang takot naman. Tapos relieved saka naging inis. I
don't know how that kiss made me felt. Ni hindi ko nga masyadong naramdaman. It didn't really sink in
on me.
All I know and care about is the fact that the kiss we shared nearly ended Cupid's existence and no
matter how much he persists, I would not let it happen again.
"I don't really know."
Psyche didn't insist-thank God! "What will you do about Joseph?"
"Hindi ko pa alam," pag-amin ko.
"I think the reason why Cupid's starting to get daring is because he's becoming restless with the
fact that you're still with Joseph. He's threatened not just because there's a possibility that you
won't finish the task but because you might also fall in love with Joseph for real."
"I am in love with him."
She shook her head. "No you're not."
"I am."
She smiled. "Please... you're only trying to convince yourself that you are."
Hindi ko matanggap ang sinasabi nya. Ayaw kong tanggapin. I know I'm not head over heels in love with
Joseph but I'm sure I am. Konti lang siguro but if I give it time, I will be helpless.
And I know I should really break up with him but it's so darn hard! Joseph's really cute and
adorable. Ugh!
"I really think you're just confused."
"You think so?"
Tumawa sya. "I really missed you, Mina. Unfortunately, I have to go. Unlike Cupid, I'm not in
detention and therefore, I haven't got much time to slack off."
"Aalis ka na?"
"Yes pero pangako, dadalawin kita ng madalas."
She hugged me one last time before she disappeared.

When Monday came, I was really looking forward to seeing Joseph. I wanted to see him before I see
Cupid. I needed to weigh in everything. Hindi na kami nakadalaw sa libing nina Lola Ghen dahil wala
ng time. Busy sina Kuya tapos sobrang tagal pa ng byahe. Parang joyride lang ang kalalabasan kung
pumunta kami doon. And to think na Saturday pa ng hapon kami aalis dahil hanggang six am ang shift ni
Ate Aly sa café.
So I spent my whole weekend writing my manuscript. And as I go by writing it, hindi ko maiwasang
makita ang similarity ng kwentong isinusulat ko sa buhay ko ngayon. I didn't mean for it to turn out
like that. It's just that, as I go continue on with this task, I could not help but see all the
possibilities for love.
I was not the hopeless romantic kind before all this. The irony is that I write sappy stories but I
never believed-not even once-that they could happen to me. Parang kuntento na ako sa realidad ko.
Ayokong umasa sa false hope na ibinibigay ng fiction. Tingin ko, hanggang libro na lang sila.
But ever since I became who I am today, I felt left out. Parang ito na 'yung dati kong sitwasyon.
Nakakagawa ako ng magandang love story pero hindi ko iniisip na mangyayari ito sa 'kin. Ngayon naman,
nakakalungkot na parang isinampal sa akin na hanggang matchmaker lang ako. Na wala akong happy
ending.
Sure, there's Joseph and Cupid but none of them is right for me. And I cannot have either. It sucks.
"Good morning!"
I rolled my eyes. Hindi dininig ang panalangin ko. Si Cupid ang una kong nakita. He was still keeping
his distance. Nasa kabilang side sya ng pathway, kumakaway sa 'kin. I nodded slightly, acknowledging
his greeting.
"How was your sleep?" he asked.
I shrugged, having no means to talk to him loudly without making a fool of myself.
'Mina, you can talk to me.'
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad. Tiningnan ko sya ng mabuti. 'What the-did you just talk to me mentally?'
He grinned and nodded.
'Since when?'
It was his turn to shrug. 'I just found out this morning.'
'Have you been reading my thoughts?'
'Yes.'
I grunted. 'I hate you.'
He grinned wider, as if that's possible. 'Your thoughts say otherwise. May pag-asa na ba ako?'
I gave him a cold stare. 'Alam mong wala.'
'That... I have already accepted. Ang importante lang naman sa 'kin eh 'yung nararamdaman nating
pareho.'
'Leave me alone, Cupid.'
'Don't be afraid, Mina. Face your fears.'
'I'm not afraid,' I retorted.
'We'll see.'
At that very moment, biglang dumating si Joseph at sumabay sa 'kin paglalakad. I knew what I have to
do. I knew it was the right thing. I knew I have to...
"What time ang first class mo?" I asked Joseph.
"Eight thirty," he answered. "Why?"
"Can we talk?"
"Now?"
I nodded.
He looked at his watch. "Okay. Ten minutes?"
I nodded again. This is it.
'Good luck.'
####################################
Chapter 26: Break-Up
####################################
"What is it, Mina?" he asked. I led him to a part of the school where people are scarce. Ayaw ko
namang may makarinig sa sasabihin ko. Baka pagkaguluhan kami bigla.
"Ano... kasi-"
"Wait. Before you say anything..." He took out something from his bag. It was a velvety rectangular
box.
"P-Para saan 'yan?"
He smiled at me, showing off his dimples. "Monthsary gift ko. Happy fourth monthsary!" He opened the
box and inside was a necklace. It has an unusual pendant. Cute-size na bote ang laman nito and inside
the bottle were tiny hearts.
Nakunsensya ako bigla. Ni hindi ko naalalang fourth monthsary namin ngayon.
'Don't mind his gift. Say the words already,' pangungulit ni Cupid.
'I can't! Not on our monthsary. I'm not that heartless.'
'Ilang monthsary pa ba ang papalipasin mo bago ka makapaghiwalay? Mas makukunsensya ka kapag

anniversary na yan kaya habang maaga pa, makipaghiwalay ka na.'
I ignored him.
"Thanks. You didn't have to, wala akong regalo," I said to Joseph.
"It's okay."
"Where did you buy this? Ang ganda."
"Actually, nung Feb pa 'yan sa 'kin. I bought it on one stall na nagtitinda ng mga stuffs for
Valentine's Day. Naalala ko kasing mahilig ka sa mga ganyan kaya 'yan na lang ang regalo ko." He took
the chain necklace out of the box. "Here, let me put this around your neck."
Pumunta sya sa bandang likuran ko and asked me to pull my hair up, which I did. After putting the
necklace, he planted a chaste kiss on my left cheek. Cupid grunted.
'Give me a day. Papalipasin ko lang 'to.' I assured him.
'Bahala ka.' After saying that, he left. Nakakainis sya. Akala mo naman ang dali-dali ng pinapagawa
nya. If he was asked to leave me alone for good because it's not right, would he do it? I'm sure he
won't. Rule-breaker sya eh. Why can't he understand where I'm coming from?
'Yeah yeah. I get it. Quit nagging.' I heard him again. Hindi ko na sya nakikita pero nakakapag-
communicate pa rin kami. Posible pala 'yun.
'Stop reading my mind!'
'Fine. Just... do what you have to do tomorrow. And no more excuses.'
'Bakit ba kasi minamadali mo ako masyado?'
'You only have seven months to go Mina. You're not even halfway there. You can't waste another day
flirting with that guy.'
Nag-init ang tenga ko sa sinabi nya. 'I am not flirting! He's my boyfriend, for God's sake!'
'Whatever.'
Ugh! He's so despicable sometimes!
'Sorry. Jealousy talking,' dagdag nya maya-maya.
It was my turn to say whatever to him. Pagkatapos noon ay nanahimik na ang utak ko. Kami naman ni
Joseph ay nagpunta na sa kani-kaniyang klase namin.
Later that day, Joseph asked me out on a date. Cupid didn't want me to go but I insisted. It's our
monthsary, after all. Doon man lang sa pakikipag-date ay makabawi ako. So the three of us went to
this fine dining restaurant after school hours. Syempre, hindi pumayag si Cupid na hindi sya kasama.
Everything was going well until after the dinner, when something came up. That something gave me the
shock of my life for I thought that Joseph was never the kind of guy who would request for such a
thing. He asked if we could continue our celebration on a freaking motel! I could not believe my
ears! Muntik ko na syang murahin.
I was so repulsed with the idea, nilayasan ko sya agad. Hindi dahil sa nagpapaka-prudent ako. Hindi
ko lang maisip na magkakalakas sya ng loob na hingin sa 'kin 'yun. Dahilan pa nya, four months na raw
naman kami and we're both adults so it's just normal but it freaking isn't!
Fine. I was scared. I don't see what's wrong with being a virgin at this age. Seriously, I could lose
it anytime but once it's lost, I can never have it back. Can't I just remain a virgin until I'm
married? Can't he respect that?
"There's nothing wrong with being a virgin."
'Shut up.'
He chuckled and looked at the road through the cab window. I flagged down a cab earlier before Joseph
could even explain. I don't need his explanation. I was waiting for a sign because I was not sure if
I could end our relationship tomorrow and he handed it to me too easily. Yes, I did break up with
him.
One of the things I learned from the TV show How I Met Your Mother is that sometimes, we see people
so perfectly in our heads that we cannot make out their flaws for ourselves until someone shatters
the glass for us.
He did shatter that glass and suddenly, he wasn't so perfect anymore.
"I'm glad it's finally over," Cupid told me.

'Shut up.'
He was so happy. He couldn't stop smiling. I realized I could make someone so happy by breaking
someone else's heart.
I knew Joseph will be begging me to take him back. Nagsimula na nga sya kanina nang iwanan ko sya. He
kept on calling me that's why I turned off my phone. Madali pa naman akong ma-guilty. Baka madala ako
ng guilt-tripping nya.
Hindi na pwede. Nakawala na nga ako eh. There is no turning back. This is the right thing to do. I
have to let him go because he's not supposed to be mine in the first place. Nakatali ang tadhana nya
kay Silvia. No matter how much I like him and I hate her, I know God has a bigger plan.
"He does."
'He might hate me for what I did. Ang babaw ng rason ko.'
He shook his head. "No. It's your virtue, Mina. You don't have to compromise your virtue for someone
you don't really love."
'I do love him.'
"No, you don't. You even thought like, not love. You're not in love with him. Do not convince
yourself that you are because you're not."
'You sound like Psyche.'
He smiled. "It's because we both think that you aren't. And trust us... we know."
'Oh yeah? How?' I asked.
"You're not love struck. There's no hopelessly in love look in your eyes. And if you are truly in
love, reasons would have been set aside and you should have agreed whole-heartedly to what he wanted.
But you didn't. You hesitated. There is no hesitation in love. You cannot hesitate. You give it all.
You risk it all. You didn't. You know why? It's because you're not in love. Not with him."
I did not contradict. Maybe he's right. Dalawa na silang nagsabi sa 'kin nyan and both were
supposedly 'experts' on the love department. I guess I just couldn't see myself not in love with
someone like Joseph. Perfect na eh. The God-like guy fell in love with an ordinary girl. Sounds like
a fairy tale. I guess nothing's really that perfect.
"Some things are," he said.
'I don't believe so.'
He shrugged. "Suit yourself. We're here."
Pinapara ko na ang taxi at bumaba kami pagkabayad ko. Pagbukas ko ng pintuan ng bahay, nabungaran ko
'yung dalawa sa sala. Nag-aaway na naman pero magkayakap sa upuan.
"Maria Mercedes nga kasi!"
"Ayoko! Harry Potter na lang!"
"Paulit-ulit naman na 'yan eh!"
"Ayoko kay Jessie Mendiola!"
"Bakit? Kasi sexy sya, ikaw hindi? Inggitera!"
Saktong hawak ni Ate Aly 'yung remote nang sabihin 'yun ni Kuya. Ayun, natuktukan tuloy sya. Napatawa
ako ng malakas. Doon lang nila ako napansin.
"Nandyan ka na pala, di ka nagsasalita," sabi ni Kuya.

Naupo ako sa couch at nagpangalumbaba. "Hindi. Wala pa ako dito. Sige lang. Tuloy nyo lang 'yang away
nyo."
"Nyenye. Wag na. Matutuwa ka lang." Akmang tatayo si Ate Aly para lumipat ng upuan nang higpitan ni
Kuya 'yung yakap sa bewang nya. "Ano ba!"
"Dito ka lang," sabi ni Kuya.
"Ayoko! Nang-aagaw ka ng remote!"
"Hindi na!"
"Sinasabihan mo ako ng mataba!"
Kuya looked at her incredulously. "Huh?! Kailan ko sinabi?!"
"Sabi mo hindi ako kasing-sexy ni Jessie!" paghuhuramentado ni Ate Aly.
"Porket sinabi kong hindi ka kasing-sexy ni Jessie, mataba ka na agad? Di ba pwedeng chubby muna?"
"Ganun na rin 'yun!"
"Insecure mo masyado!" Tinuktukan ulit ni Ate Aly si Kuya. "Aray! Akin na nga yan!"
Muling inagaw ni Kuya kay Ate Aly 'yung remote saka nito isinuksok sa gilid ng couch.
"Ilipat mo muna 'yung channel!"
"Wag na. 'Di rin lang tayo magkasundo eh di 'yan na lang ang panuorin natin."
Todo simangot si Ate Aly. In the end, hindi nila napanuod 'yung kanya-kanya nilang gustong palabas.
At ngayon, stuck sila sa Animal Planet.
Naiiling akong pumunta sa kwarto ko para magpalit ng damit. Sometimes, I can't fathom how they could
stand each other. Para silang aso't pusa na hindi mapapalipas ang isang araw na hindi nag-aaway. And
yet they like being around each other.
I turned on my phone to check on the messages. Puro kay Joseph galing. He was asking for us to talk.
Great. Ayoko na tuloy pumasok bukas.
I was about to put my phone on silent mode when it started ringing again. Joseph's calling. I looked
at Cupid, who's standing quietly near the window, mentally seeking his advice.
"Should I answer it?"
"Should you?"
I grunted. "You're not helping."
"I'm not your boss. Do what you want." I heard annoyance on his voice.
"Why are you irritated? Ano na naman ang ginawa ko?"
"I'm not. I'm just-never mind."
"Ano nga?" Pamimilit ko sa kanya. I rejected Joseph's call and turned my phone off again. Nilapitan
ko si Cupid. "What's wrong?"
"It's just that... you're free now but I still can't have you. You don't know how frustrating that
is."
"Cupid-"
"And you still don't like me that way."
"You know it's impossible."
"Pero hindi masamang umasa."
"Masasaktan ka lang kapag umasa ka."
"Handa naman akong masaktan eh."
Yes, I know. He made that very evident when we-
"Kissed?"
I looked sternly at him. "We did not."
"But our lips touched."
"It's not considered kissing."
His eyebrow arched. "Then what is?"
"Ewan ko sa 'yo." I started heading to my bed when he pulled me by the hand. Bigla nya akong niyakap.
"Babawi na lang ako sa ganito."
I felt goosebumps all over. I struggled out of his embrace but he tightened his hold on me.
"You smell so good," he said as he buried his head on my neck while cupping the back of my head,
tangling his fingers on my disarrayed hair.
"Cupid," I called out his name in a reprimanding tone.
"I wish to kiss you again. I wish to have you."
"You can't."
"I love you."
I heaved a sigh of defeat. Mukhang wala na naman sya sa sarili nya.
"Para kang tanga. Umayos ka nga," medyo inis kong sabi. He can't love me. He has no heart. What kind
of man would have the ability to love without a heart?
"I do have a heart."
"It's not beating. You're as good as dead."
"It did beat. Sobrang lakas pa nga. Hindi mo ba narinig?"
Just like that, everything that had happened came back. The erratic beating of his heart as he was
slowly dying...
"I don't understand. Bakit tumibok ang puso mo nung mawawala ka na and then it disappeared when you
got better? What was that supposed to mean?"
He loosened his embrace-finally-and looked at me intently. "I told you. I am the glitch in the
system."
"May pag-asa bang maging tao ka?"
The thought made him smile but he shook his head.
"No. As far as I know, it's either I remain an angel or my existence will cease. What happened was-
this is only my theory-I have two sides: the human and the divine. It was because I was under
detention and I am neither just one nor just the other. Nasa gitna ako. When we-fine-when our lips
touched, the human in me dominated but the other one started dying. And when that happened, I will be
neither. I will be gone. I cannot fully be one and cannot exist without the other. When my divine
side finally healed and everything was right and balanced, my heart stopped beating. Parang
ipinaparating na hindi ako magiging tao kahit kailan. I may look like one but this is it. Nothing
more."
####################################
Chapter 27: Consequences
####################################
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
Consequences. The angel fell in love with an ordinary human. He gave up his forever just so he could
be with her. They met for the first time and something clicked. They fell in love but she died the
next day. He gave up forever for a day.
"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand than
eternity without it. One."
I still remember that quote. I still remember the grave feeling when Meg Ryan's character died. I
still remember how I cried my heart out because of that. The ending sucks! I love the movie though.
It's just frustrating that they didn't end up together.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
I tried to take in the lyrics of the song playing. It's Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, one of the best songs
ever. Though I was afraid of what might happen today because of what transpired yesterday, I realized
that I have to face the consequences of my actions.
Kahit naman palipasin ko ng ilang araw, linggo o buwan, the fact still remains that I ended
something. Na nakasakit ako. I have to man up and deal with the aftermath.
Nasa may entrance na ako ng department namin nang matapos ang kanta. Pumailanlang naman ang Wrecking
Ball ni Miley Cyrus. Mygosh. Ano ba naman ang mga kanta ngayong araw? Parang may pinaghuhugutan.
"Mina!"
I stopped walking when I heard him call out my name. He was standing on the side of the pathway,
waiting for me. Agad nya akong nilapitan nang makita nya ako.
"Can we talk?" he asked. "Please."
I was waiting for Cupid's advice but none came. Nawawala si Cupid kung kailan kailangang-kailangan ko
ng tulong nya. Nakakainis.
'Give him closure. You owe him that,' I heard from somewhere. It was his voice but he was nowhere to
be found.
'Where are you?' I asked.
'I'm looking out for you, Mina. Don't worry.'
Bumaling ako kay Joseph and felt a surge of guilt when I saw him looking like he was on the verge of
crying. "Fine. Sa mini-library tayo."
He nodded then we went to the mini-library, which was still closed for students during this time of
the day. Good thing-walang mga graduating na makakarinig sa pag-uusapan namin. Ngaragan pa naman sila
sa thesis.
Right after I closed the door, he advanced towards me. Agad kong itinaas ang kanang kamay ko para
patigilin sya sa paglalakad.
"Hep! Stay there."
His steps halted. Saka sya tumango. "If you want to..."
I sighed. "Look... about yesterday-"
"I'm sorry!" He blurted out. "Akala ko kasi okay lang sa 'yo. I should have known better. And I get
where you're coming from. Hindi naman kita minamadali eh. Kung ayaw mo, okay lang. Maghihintay naman
ako."
"Hindi lang kasi yun eh..."
"I won't ask that of you again. I won't even hint it. Please... pwede bang tayo na lang ulit?"
Mariin akong umiling. "I'm sorry."
"Why? What did I do? May ginawa ba akong hindi mo nagustuhan na nakaturn-off sa 'yo? Pwede mo namang
sabihin sa 'kin eh. I can change it!"
"Wala. You're a great guy, Joseph. I just don't feel like we're right for each other." And then all
the cliché lines from the movies started popping out of nowhere. I fed him with shits like 'It's not
you, it's me', 'I don't deserve you' and 'You deserve someone better'... He didn't buy any of that.
He was looking at me mutely like he couldn't believe those things just came out of my mouth.
"Tapatin mo nga ako Mina... did you even love me during those four months?"
Did I? Hindi ako nakasagot agad.
"Joseph..." I said his name like a plea, not wanting to hurt him any further.
He sighed and smiled bitterly. "You know... I really thought you were different. This was the first
time that I tried to open up and actually love someone. Unang beses kong sinubukang mag-seryoso
because I actually thought you were the one. It turns out I'm wrong again."
"I'm sorry," was all I could say.
"Tell me... is there someone else, Mina?"
"W-Wala!"
Tiningnan nya ako na para bang hindi sya naniniwala.
"Then why are you blushing?! If there is someone else, then you could have just told me! Nakakagago
lang kasi eh. Pinagmumukha mo akong tanga tapos iba naman pala talaga ang gusto mo!"
"Wala nga kasi, okay?"
He mellowed a little bit. "Wala ba talaga?"

"Wala." I shook my head. "Wala talaga."
"Now you're just convincing yourself."
"I'm not. Wala talaga. And I'm sorry if I took four months to figure everything out. I'm sorry that
I've strung you along. I'm really sorry! I didn't know what I was feeling back then. Akala ko gusto
na kita. Akala ko mahal kita. But then I realized that I just got too excited with the fact that
someone like you actually liked someone like me. Sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga tayo bagay eh.
Someone deserves you more. Ako lang ang una mong napansin."
"So ngayon itinutulak mo naman ako sa iba?" He scoffed. "Unbelievable!"
"I'm just trying to make this fair for the both of us!"
"Fair? You think this is fair?"
"I'm not the right one for you Joseph. If we prolong this relationship, it would devastate us more
kung maghihiwalay rin tayo sa bandang huli. Don't you see? We're both meant for somebody else!" Sya
kay Silvia at ako... hindi ko pa alam kung kanino.
"How did you even know that? Stop feeding yourself with hopeless romantic bullshits Mina. Matanda na
tayo pareho, we both know that there's no such thing as destiny. We make our own fate."
"And what if there is? What if we're just part of the bigger plan? What if we were just meant to meet
but not end up together and if we tried pushing our lucks, marami ang madadamay at masasaktan?"
He raised his hand in defeat. "I give up. Clearly, we don't see things the same way."
"This is exactly why I know that we're not right for each other."
Napahilamos sya sa mukha nya at sinubukang pakalmahin ang sarili by taking in a series of breaths.
"I'm sorry," I said again. "Here, take this. This belongs to you." I held out the necklace he gave to
me yesterday. He just eyed the necklace.
"No. That thing belongs to you." Bumuntong-hininga sya ng malalim.
"I'm sorry."
Naiiling syang lumabas ng mini-lib, slamming the door on his way out. Pakiramdam ko, naputol 'yung
tanikalang nakaikot sa rib cage ko. I heaved a sigh of relief. Yes, I know he was angry and he
couldn't see any sense to what I did but he'll thank me someday. I sure hope so.
"Wow! That was so dramatic I almost barfed!"
Napamaang ako nang makita ko si Silvia na lumabas mula sa likuran ng isang mataas na bookshelf.
"Have you been listening?!"
She rolled her eyes. "I don't have a choice, okay? You were both screaming like there's no tomorrow.
Like seriously..."
Of all the people na makakarinig, bakit kailangang si Silvia pa? Pinaglalaruan ba talaga ako ng
tadhana? Paano kung ipagkalat nya sa buong school ang nangyari? Saan ko na lang pupulutin ang
kahihiyan ko?
"K-Kanina ka pa ba dyan?"
"Uh-huh." She crossed her arms. "Pwedeng magtanong?"
May choice pa ba ako? I nodded.
"Tanga ka ba?"
"Excuse me?"
She let out a chuckle. "I mean... hello! Joseph Marco 'yun teh! Ibang level na 'yun tapos hihiwalayan
mo lang?! Tanga ka ba talaga?!"
Pakiramdam ko umakyat lahat ng dugo sa ulo ko. "You don't know the whole story, okay?!"
"Relax!" Tumawa sya. "I'm not here to pick up a fight, okay? Gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit. Bakit
ka nakipaghiwalay sa kanya? Alam mo bang kulang na lang maghubad 'yung ibang babae dyan para lang
mapansin nya tapos ikaw na gustong-gusto nya, bigla-bigla na lang syang iiwan sa ere? Tanga ka ba?"
Nagpapanting na talaga ang tenga ko sa kauulit nya ng tanong na 'Tanga ka ba?' pero pilit kong
pinakalma ang sarili ko. She's a prospect after all. Parang kliyente na rin. Hindi dapat inaaway.
"So why? Are you gonna stick with that destiny crap of yours? Honestly girl, gasgas na masyado 'yung
'I'm not the right girl for you' na linya mo eh. I mean, how could you even know that?"
"I just know, okay? I can feel it."
"Gut feel?"
Tumango ako. "Ramdam mo naman 'yun eh. Ramdam mo kapag parang may mali. Na parang may hindi dapat...
even if things seemed so perfect on the outside."
She shrugged then sat down the chair next to her. I sat down too. Magkatapatan kaming dalawa. She
still have her arms crossed against her chest, eyeing me with curiosity.
"I don't get you. Since when did you become so irrational?"
Since I became a matchmaker, I wanted to answer pero hindi rin naman nya ako paniniwalaan.
"There are some things that cannot be answered with our minds. They have to be felt with our hearts,"
I said instead.
Napabulanghit sya ng tawa. "Oh my gosh! That is the cheesiest line I've heard in a long time!"
I found myself smiling despite her mockery. "It's true though, don't you think?"
Nagkibit-balikat syang muli. "I don't know." She uncrossed her arms and leaned forward, propping her
elbows on the table. "But really... why?"
"I already told you."
"Can you give me a more believable answer?"
Umiling ako.
"Can you at least tell me what happened yesterday? I heard you. He said he was sorry for what he did
yesterday. So what did he do?"
Bakit ang tsismosa nito? Feeling close? "Bakit ba gustong-gusto mong malaman?"
She shrugged again. "Bakit ayaw mong sabihin? Confidential ba masyado?"
"Sa pagkakatanda ko, hindi naman tayo magkaibigan. Why would I disclose such personal matters with
you?"
She pondered for a bit and then smiled. "I've been wondering about that too. Why aren't we friends?
Lahat naman ng faculty members ka-close ko pero bakit ikaw hindi?"
We both fell silent for a while, searching for answers. A few moments later, nagkatinginan kaming
dalawa like realization suddenly dawned on us.
"Dahil ba kay Rommel?"
Napaisip akong muli. Since when did I start harboring this hate towards Silvia? Dahil nga ba kay
Rommel? I couldn't think of any other reason.
"Siguro?"
"Look, it wasn't my fault na nagkagusto sya sa 'kin. Ni hindi ko sya tinatapunan ng tingin dahil alam
kong nililligawan ka nya noon. Maganda ako pero hindi ako mang-aagaw. I'm not that cheap," paliwanag
nya.
"That doesn't change the fact that he left me hanging for you."
"Kasalanan ko bang maganda ako?" Tumawa sya. "But seriously though, I didn't give him any chance back
then kasi alam kong masasaktan ka. Pero ano ang napala ko? You started hating on me kahit wala naman
akong kasalanan."
"I never thought-"
"I know. You think I'm such a bitch."
"Sorry." Hindi ko naman itinatanggi eh. Ever since, ganun na ang tingin ko sa kanya. Palaging
nagmamaganda. Palaging ipinamumukhang kaya nyang bilugin ang ulo ng kahit sinong lalaking matipuhan
nya.
I just hated her guts.
"Keri lang. I know you all have this undying jealousy towards me. It's not my fault that I was born
beautiful."
I rolled my eyes. "Can you not be conceited for once?"
"I'm not conceited. I'm just stating a fact."
"May nakapagsabi na ba sa 'yong ang yabang mo?"
Imbes na magalit, tinawanan nya lang ang tanong ko. "Dear, ang mayabang, ipinagmamalaki ang mga bagay
na wala sa kanya. I'm merely stating a fact. I'm pretty. Ask anyone and they'll all agree. I
guarantee you that."
Nailing na lamang ako. Hindi ko kinakaya ang tiwala nya sa sarili. She's pretty, I get that. Pero sa
lahat ng maganda, sya lang yata 'yung sobrang umaapaw ang confidence sa sarili. At sya lang din ang
may hilig ipagkalat na maganda sya.
"I've always wanted to be your friend, did you know that? Bukod sa halos magka-age lang tayo, I think
we have so many things in common. Pero ayun nga, ang laki ng galit mo sa 'kin."
I couldn't believe what I just heard. "Really? You wanted to be my friend?"
She nodded. "Masyado bang nakakapagtaka?"
Tumango rin ako. "I mean, we're so... different."
"Physically, yes. I'm more dolled up and you're so laid back pero other than that, I think we're
pretty much the same." She smiled after saying that.
"No, we're not." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, you don't seem like the type who believes in romance."
"I just think romance is dead, you know. Sa panahon ngayon, I think all that matters is that you're
happy. There is no right guy or wrong girl. There are just right moments. And when it is right, kahit
sa maling tao pa, wouldn't it be worth it?"
"But the long-term-"
She scoffed. "Don't tell me you still believe in forever?"

"And what if I do?"
Tuluyan na syang natawa. "Oh my gosh. Are you that naive? Hindi ka ba mauumay kung isang tao lang ang
gugustuhin mo habang buhay?" she asked, amused.
"Is that why you won't settle down?" pabalik kong tanong.
"Settle down? You mean bakit wala pa akong sinasagot sa mga manliligaw ko?" Umiling sya. "No. I just
don't like any of them."
"Then why don't you just dump them?"
"You think I didn't? Matagal ko na silang binasted. Sila lang itong makulit." She flipped her hair.
"Minsan burden na rin talaga ang pagiging masyadong maganda. Jirits!"
Okay. That made me laugh and that kinda lightened the atmosphere.
"You know who I would like to be my boyfriend? Joseph. Ang yummy teh!" She fanned herself. "Hindi ko
pa man sya nakikitang topless but I could already imagine his abs! Tell me, ilang packs ba?"
"Aba malay ko!"
Napamulagat sya sa 'kin. "Seriously?! Hindi mo pa nakikita?"
Naalala ko noong naliligo kami sa falls with my family back at the province. "Nakita ko na pero hindi
ko binilang."
"Kahit nung nagmi-make love kayo, hindi mo binilang?!"
I gaped at her. "Silvia!"
"O ano? Ano ka ba! Tayo lang namang dalawa ang nandito!"
"Hindi pa namin ginagawa 'yun noh!"
It was her turn to gape. "What? Seryoso?!"
I nodded.
"Tanga ka ba? Nakipag-break ka sa kanya nang hindi mo pa sya natitikman?! Oh my gosh girl! You've
wasted a great opportunity!"
Hindi ko alam kung bakit natatawa ako sa kanya. Na imbes na mainis, natatawa pa ako. Tawang-tawa ako
sa panghihinayang nya. I never thought that the woman I once hated could make me laugh this hard.
Napatigil lang ako nang mapansin kong bigla syang sumeryoso.
"What?" I asked nang hindi ko masukat kung ano'ng gustong iparating ng tingin nya.
"That's why you broke up with him, right? He asked you and you didn't want to."
I nodded.
"But why? Normal naman 'yun eh."
"Siguro para sa 'yo normal. Sa akin hindi."
"Yung ganun kagwapo teh, tatanggihan ko pa ba? I would say yes every time na aayain nya 'ko!" she
said with vigilance.
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but we don't happen to share the same opinion on that. Kung
ibibigay ko man ang sarili ko sa isang tao, gusto ko dun sa taong magiging kasama ko na habang buhay.
I value the sanctity of marriage and I don't approve of pre-marital sex."
"I don't like your tone. What are you trying to imply?"
"Nothing."
"Look, just because I'm more open-minded than you are when it comes to those things doesn't mean that
I am less of a person. Don't think na malandi ako. We just see things differently. I might think
you're too prude and you might think that I'm too wild. It does not make us bad. May kanya-kanya lang
tayong pananaw sa buhay, Mina."
Medyo na-guilty ako sa sinabi nya. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way."
"Wala namang masama kung ibigay mo ang sarili mo sa taong gusto mong pagbigyan nito eh. Hindi naman
'yun nakakabawas ng dangal... o ganda. Likewise, being a virgin until you're married doesn't make you
holy. Hindi ka naman siguro huhusgahan ng Diyos base sa virginity mo, di ba? Huhusgahan ka naman Niya
base sa mga bagay na ginagawa mo."
I raised my hands in defeat. "Okay. I get it. Sorry."
She smiled. "I guess we really are different. I can see it now." She looked at her wrist-watch. "Late
na pala ako sa first class ko. I'll go ahead."
Tumayo sya at naglakad palabas ng mini-library.
"Silvia?"
She turned to look at me. "Yes?"
"Friends?" I gave her a tight smile.
She smiled back and shrugged.
"Maybe."
####################################
Chapter 28: A New Chapter
####################################
After that incident, Silvia and I started being civil towards each other. Hindi naman kami super
close but there were exchanges of greetings and smiles. Occasionally, sumasabay rin ako sa kanilang
mag-lunch ng close friend nyang si Cai. Somehow, nababawasan 'yung stress of having Joseph's gaze
follow me around wherever I go. Nakakatawa kasi 'yung magkaibigan. Parehong taklesa... saka medyo
mahalay.
Kadalasan akong hindi makarelate sa topic nila-kundi man naiiling sa mga naririnig.
Hindi lang pala consequence ang makukuha mo sa mga bagay na ginawa mo. Meron ding bagong
opportunities. It's not always that bad and I'm glad na somehow naging okay kami ni Silvia. Siguro
mas mapapadali 'yung pagma-match ko sa kanilang dalawa ni Joseph-na palaging laman ng topic naming
tatlo tuwing tanghali.
"Pa'no 'yan? Nasabi mo na ba sa parents mo? Di ba they met him na when he went to your province to
visit you?" Silvia asked.
"Saka ko na lang siguro sasabihin kapag tinanong nila."
"That's like... so sayang! I imagined them getting disappointed na hindi na si Joseph ang
mamanugangin nila. You threw away the good genes!" singit ni Cai.
Natawa ako sa paraan ng pananalita nila. Ang conyo eh. Ganyan siguro talaga kapag isang galing La
Salle at isang galing Ateneo ang kausap. They can't help but speak that way. Nakakatuwa rin na
magkalaban 'yung schools nila pero friends sila ngayon.
"What's so nakakatawa?" Cai asked, her eyebrow arched.

"Sorry guys! No offense ano... pero ang conyo nyong dalawa!"
Nagkatinginan sila at parehong kumunot ang noo. "Ano raw?"
"Conyo tayo?"
Tumingin sila sa 'kin pareho.
"Hindi kaya!" they chorused in the straightest way of speaking possible to them.
"Okay okay. Hindi na kung hindi."
Biglang sinipa ni Silvia ang binti ko and then she pointed her lips to my left. I frowned but looked
to where she's pointing. Joseph was standing with a tray of food on his hands. Palinga-linga ito. He
was grimacing as if taking in the whispers from the people inside the cafeteria. Pansin kong
pinagtitinginan sya ng mga tao tapos saka sila titingin sa akin. Pabalik-balik.
Alam na ng karamihan ang nangyari. Na wala na kaming dalawa. Nasasaling na rin ang ego nya. Narinig
ko minsan na hinayang na hinayang yung iba kong co-teachers sa pakikipaghiwalay ko. Para raw akong
nanalo sa lotto pero isinauli ko 'yung napanalunan ko.
Mas pangit naman ang sinasabi nung ilan tungkol sa kanya. Some even thought that he didn't satisfy
me... err... uhm... sexually. Ayaw ko namang sumagot na hindi pa namin ginagawa 'yun kasi sa paningin
ng karamihan abnormal 'yun. Iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon.
Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin nang mapagawi ang tingin nya sa pwesto namin. Nakasalubong ko 'yung
dalawa na parehong kunot ang noo at tahimik lang na nakatingin sa 'kin.
"Ano?" tanong ko sa kanila.
Halos sabay silang umiling. "Wala," sagot ni Silvia.
"Don't you regret it?" Cai asked.
Umiling ako. "He deserves someone better."
"That's bull," Cai retorted.
Tumawa naman si Silvia. "Totally!" Then she looked back at me. "I told you... you're stupid."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. If you know something I do, I bet you'll both agree with me."
"And what could that be?"
Umiling ako. "I invoke my right against self-incrimination," I answered with a straight face.
Humagalpak ng tawa si Cai. "Nina-Napoles mo na kami?"
I smiled in return. "Kasi hindi ko pwedeng sabihin. Someday you'll know but you wouldn't fully
understand."
I had a lesson with my advisory class that afternoon. Pagkapasok ko pa lang, parang iba na 'yung
atmosphere. Alam kong iisa lang ang laman ng isip nila ngayon and it somehow annoyed me. I get it na
bali-balita na sa buong school ang ginawa ko. Yeah, Joseph's popularity knows no bounds. Kahit nga sa
ibang school, naririnig ko ang pangalan nya.
Ang nakakainis lang, puro tsismisan ang inaatupag nila. Paaralan naman 'to. Dapat nag-aaral ang mga
estudyante at nagtuturo ang mga guro. Hindi 'yung puro tsismisan lang! Saka ano kami, celebrities?
I ignored the murmurs and proceeded with my lesson. And when I was done with it, nagkaroon kami ng
class recitation. Nadismaya ako nang halos kalahati ng klase ko ang hindi makasagot. I felt like they
were just whispering things behind my back all throughout the lesson. Sa inis ko, nagpa-quiz pa ako
ng one to fifty and then I gave them home works.
"Next time class, kung magti-tsismisan kayo, huwag sa klase ko, okay?" I said before leaving them.
I was in a very foul mood. Dagdag pa na nawawala si Cupid. Nasaan na naman kaya 'yun? Talagang
iniiwanan nya ako kung kailan kailangan ko sya? Mababaliw na 'ko dito. Wala akong makausap!
'Aww. Missing me already? That is so sweet of you, Mina.'
I grunted. 'Where the heck are you?'
'I'm everywhere.'
'Bakit ayaw mong magpakita?'
'Para mamiss mo 'ko.' He laughed. 'Are you missing me now? Sabihin mo lang, babalik ako agad.'
'Ugh. Shut up. Bahala ka kung ayaw mong magpakita.'
It's been more than a week since I last saw Cupid. Malapit ng mag-August. Oh my God. Ngayon ko lang
na-realize kung gaano na karami ang lumipas na panahon. Ilan na ba ang namatch ko? There's Lola Ghen
and Lolo RB-may they rest in peace. There's Ate Aly and Kuya Sic. Tapos si Jasper. Sila lang? Kulang
pa ako nung kina Karen. Tapos kay Je Luu pa at Silvia. Yung kay Krisnel wala pa rin. And I only have
what? 7 months to go?
"Mina! Snap out of it! Tulala ka na naman! Megosh!"
"Sorry?"
Nakatingin na naman sa akin sina Cai at Silvia na para bang nawawala ako sa sarili. "Honestly girl,
sure ka bang hindi ka affected sa break-up nyo ni Papa Joseph?"
Umiling ako.
"Eh bakit palagi kang tulala dyan?"
"Pre-occupied lang."
"Ng?" curious na tanong ni Cai.
I shrugged. "Lots of things."
"May boylet?" tanong naman ni Silvia.
"Wala!"
"Ay! Ang defensive nung 'wala' mo teh! Aminin mo... di ka pa makamove-on no?"
"Sira. Wala na nga sa 'kin 'yun!" I looked at Cai. "Cai ikaw, may boyfriend ka na?"
Mukhang nagulat si Cai sa tanong ko. Eh kasi naman, it's been days since the three of us started
hanging out. Alam ko na kung sino ang makakatuluyan ni Silvia pero itong si Cai, wala akong kaalam-
alam.
Her eyes were always sad na para bang kahit anong ngiti ang gawin nya, halata mong hindi pa rin sya
masaya. Pero yun lang naman ang problema sa kanya. 'Yung mata nya. Masayahin naman sya eh. Super
bubbly. Kaya magkasundong-magkasundo sila ni Silvia. My gut feel says otherwise though.
"Why do you ask?" Nagpangalumbaba sya habang tinutusok ng tinidor ang order na lasagna.
"Wala naman. Just curious, is all."
She smiled. "Meron. Actually, fourth anniversary nga namin this coming Saturday eh. Wanna come?"
"Ha? Bakit ako sasama eh di ba dapat kayo lang ang magsi-celebrate? Anniversary nyo 'yun eh!"
She laughed. "I'm sure Evan wouldn't mind. Okay lang, kasama mo naman si Silvia. Mag-date din kayong
dalawa."
"Eww lang teh? Lesbianism lang ang peg?" reklamo ni Silvia.
"Shut up. You know what I mean." Cai stuck her tongue out playfully at Silvia.
"Sure ka bang okay lang?" I asked her.
"Yes."
Saturday came and I didn't know why I feel so excited. Siguro dahil lalabas akong girl friends naman
ang kasama ko at hindi sina kuya o mag-isa? It's been a while kasi. Palaging pamilya ang kasama ko
kapag may lakad. Nang naging boyfriend ko si Joseph, medyo nag-iba pero sandali lang.
It's kinda nice to have some girl friends.
Nagkita-kita kaming tatlo sa Glorietta. I asked kung nasaan 'yung boyfriend ni Cai kasi akala ko doon
namin ito mismo tatagpuin. Cai said that she'll be visiting him. Bumili pa sya ng flowers.
"Ikaw na ang bibisita, may flowers ka pa? Hanep!"
She laughed. "Ano ka ba! Modern times, Mina! Hindi na lang dapat lalaki ang nag-e-effort no!"
"Hmm... sabagay."
Kakaiba ang glow ni Cai ngayon. Kung noong mga nakalipas na araw eh walang ningning 'yung mata nya,
ngayon naman ay parang binalutan ng plastic cover sa sobrang kinang.
Her face is glowing too na para bang sa loob nanggagaling 'yung saya. Ang saya-saya nya.... even her
string is emanating such light na aakalain mong Valentine's sa sobrang pink.
I'm sure her boyfriend is one hell of a lucky guy.
After we ate our lunch, we went off to somewhere gamit ang kotse ni Cai. I didn't know where we were
going at nang nagtanong ako...
"What? Sa Tagaytay?!"
They laughed at my reaction. "What's wrong? Haven't been to Tagaytay, Mina?"
"Grabe naman kasi guys! Akala ko dyan lang tayo sa Glorietta eh!"
"Relax, okay?"
"Grabe ka Cai. Effort kung effort! Gaano mo kadalas dalawin ang boyfriend mo?"
"Linggo-linggo, girl!" Si Silvia ang sumagot. "Odiba? Nagagawa nga naman ng pag-ibig!"
Cai laughed. "Wala eh. Mahal ko eh."
And she's telling the truth. Her string showed her emotion. She's really in love. I never thought I'd
be this happy seeing other people in love. Sobrang fulfilling.
The ride was fun. Ang dami nilang nakwento sa 'kin. And they urged me to share my stories as well.
'Yun nga lang, mas interested sila sa love life than everything else. My smile, however, faded when I
saw where we're heading.
"Are you sure this is the right place?"
They both nodded. "We're here, Mina." Parang nasaktan ako dun sa ngiting ibinigay sa 'kin ni Cai.
Hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano sya nakakangiti ng ganun. Parang sobrang saya nya. How could she do
it?
Nauna na syang bumaba ng sasakyan at kami naman ni Silvia ay nakasunod lang sa likod nya.
"So kaya sya ang dumadalaw sa boyfriend nya?"
Tumango si Silvia.
"And she even bought flowers?"
"Uh-huh."
"How long has it been?"
"Almost three years."
My heart ached yet again. Lumuhod si Cai sa isang lapida at inalis 'yung tuyo at lantang pumpon ng
mga bulaklak. Saka nya inilagay doon yung kakabili nya kanina. Something magical happened when her
fingers touched it. The string glowed and then connected to what seemed to be underneath.
Kinda creepy I know pero mas na-overwhelm ako sa pagmamahal na naramdaman ko. Even in death...
Naalala ko 'yung sinabi ni Cupid sa 'kin dati. Love truly transcends time.
Masayang nakipagkwentuhan si Cai sa puntod ni Evan habang kami ay nakanuod lang.
"How did he die?"
Silvia shook her head as if pained by the answer. "It was a bad accident."
"Si Cai.... hindi na sya nakamove-on?"
"I don't think she could. I mean, look at her. Hindi ko alam kung gaano sya katatag at nagagawa nya
yan. Ilang taon na rin pero ganyan pa rin sya."
I looked at Cai again. Masayang-masaya sya na para bang nasa harap lang nya si Evan. May paghampas pa
sya sa lapida na akala mo'y braso ng boyfriend nya 'yung hinahampas nya.
I couldn't help it. I shed a few tears.
"I was like you when she first brought me here. Akala ko she was kidding lang and then she showed me
his name and made me introduce myself pa nga."
"Wala ba talagang iba?"
She shook her head. "I tried to set her up a few times pero she's always going back to him. I know na
kapag pinush ko pa, magagalit lang sya sa 'kin so I let her be. Masaya naman sya eh."
But contrary to her last statement, Cai started crying. I took a step but Silvia held me up.
"But she's-"
"Don't worry. Namimiss lang nya si Evan kaya sya ganyan. It's always the same. She'll tell him every
funny story na baon nya and kapag naubos na, saka na sya iiyak. She'll be okay."
My heart goes out to Cai who's pouring her heart out to him. Parang ang saklap lang isipin na 'yung
taong para sa 'yo eh wala na. Paano na sya ngayon? Will she find another or will she continue to
cling to him? Hanggang kelan?
"Here she comes! Act normal!" Silvia hissed.

Lumapit sa amin si Cai na nagpapahid ng luha. "Mina! Come here. Ipapakilala kita kay Evan."
"O-Okay."
Hinatak nya ako patungo sa lapida ni Evan.
"Hi hon, bago ko nga palang friend, si Mina. Mina, this is Evan, my boyfriend."
I waved at the headstone. "H-Hi Evan. Nice meeting you."
"He said it's nice to meet you too."
Niyakap ko si Cai. "I don't know how you do it."
She just laughed like it was nothing. Bumalik ako sa pwesto namin ni Silvia habang inaantay namin si
Cai na matapos sa pakikipag-usap kay Evan. She was lively again. Masigla uli syang nagkikwento.
Occasionally, she would cry and then she would stop and smile again.
It was like watching someone go through a roller-coaster of emotions.
"Tingin ko hindi na sya makakaget-over sa kanya," I told Silvia.
"I think so too."
How could she ever love someone else when she already buried her heart with him?
Gabi na nang makauwi kami. Kumain pa kasi kami ng bulalo bago nila naisipang umuwi. It was a happier
ride going home.
"So next weekend, babalik ka ulit?" tanong ko kay Cai.
"Yep."
Ang tibay nya grabe.
"You're free to come if you like."
"Some other time siguro." I don't know if I could go through that again. One moment masaya ka tapos
sa kasunod para ka namang pinapatay sa sakit. And to think na weekly nyang ginagawa 'yun? Baka
mabaliw ako kung ako 'yun.
Nang makarating ako sa bahay, agad akong dumiretso sa kwarto ko para magpahinga. Wala pa 'yung
dalawa. Baka may date na naman. Mabuti pa sila.
"Mina?"
Agad akong napabangon nang marinig ko ang boses nya. "Cupid?"
"Mina! I miss you!" Sinunggaban nya ako ng yakap.
"T-Teka, hindi naman ako makahinga nyan!"
He laughed and let me go. "Sorry."
"Saan ka nanggaling?"
"Dyan lang sa tabi-tabi."
I looked sternly at him. "Saan nga?"
He grinned. "It's not important. Halika nga. Payakap. Namiss talaga kita." Kinabig nya uli ako saka
niyakap. I wrapped my arms around his waist. Kahit ayaw ko mang aminin, namiss ko rin sya. Slight.
"I heard that."
"Shut up."
My ears became alert at the faintest thump coming from inside his chest. Kumunot ang noo ko as it
grew louder. At nang parang magpa-palpitate na naman sya, bigla syang kumalas sa akin. Na para bang
napaso.
"Cupid? What's wrong?"
He let out a nervous chuckle. "Nothing."
"May masakit ba sa 'yo?" He was wincing. What just happened?
Umiling sya though I know he's lying. "I'm not lying. I guess I just got too excited upon seeing you.
Sige, aalis na muna ako. Take a good rest, Mina."
Ni hindi sya humalik man lang sa noo ko o yumakap bago umalis. He just waved. That was odd. Not that
I'm complaining. It's just not him.
Hindi nakaligtas sa akin 'yung paghawak nya sa bandang dibdib nya habang nakatalikod sa 'kin. He was
even limping.
What the heck happened to him?

####################################
####################################
I have to make one of this again just to clear something out. The names Psyche, Aphrodite and Cupid
are inspired by the mythological creatures. Yes. But that's about it. I just like to use their names
because they represent one thing: LOVE. And this story is all about it.
But the issue with Cupid being married to Psyche has no relevance to this dahil hindi ko po sinusunod
ang mythology. I have my own story and my own plot. I don't want to drag the whole myth dahil marami
na ang may alam nun and one little mistake would be magnified. It's like fact though it's myth.
Basta.
Besides, hindi ko gagawing kapareho ang kwento nila dahil ayoko namang masabihan akong nanggagaya.
Saka wala akong intensyong gayahin ang story nila.
Again, PANGALAN LANG po ang kinuha ko. Hindi ang kwento nila.
I hope that's clear now. Disregard the myth when you're reading Karmic Hearts please. Thank you <3
####################################
Chapter 29: The Plan
####################################
As Silvia and I get closer every day, ramdam ko naman ang paglayo ng loob ni Joseph sa akin. He often
keeps things to himself. He seldom talks. Nag-aalala na ako sa kanya. I didn't know this breakup
would affect him that much, given na marami na naman syang nakarelasyon for sure.
Pang-ilan na ba ako sa mga naging girlfriends nya? Pang-sampu? Pang-kinse? Pang-bente? This couldn't
be new to him. Hindi kaya sya ang madalas makipaghiwalay at mang-iwan kaya nagagalit sya dahil ginawa
ko 'yun sa kanya?
"Girl! You're spacing out again!"
"Sorry." I smiled sheepishly at Silvia, who's preparing her things. Nasa loob kami ng faculty.
Kakarating ko lang. I'm guessing na kanina pa nya ako kinakausap pero preoccupied naman ako.
"Focus on me when I'm talking to you, 'kay?" She flipped her hair. "Consider it a privilege na
kinakausap kita."
Bahagya akong natawa. She might seem conceited saying that pero biro lang 'yun sa kanya. She likes to
remind people that she's beautiful. Akala mo sobrang full of herself lang. People take her remarks
good-naturedly though. As is she's just making fun of herself, kahit hindi.
Wala rin namang makareklamo o maka-oppose sa mga sinasabi nya so tinatawanan na lang namin.
"Gosh! Where's Cai ba? She's gonna be late na naman." I glanced at the clock on my left. Its already
five minutes to eight.
"Asan na raw ba sya?"
"Ewan ko ba sa babaeng 'yun. I told her to stop chatting with Evan's sister when it's already past
eleven but she didn't listen to me. Sya pa tuloy ang nag-aadjust ng oras. Napupuyat tuloy sya."
Evan's sister is in Vienna. Free time nito, tulog kami rito sa Pilipinas. I guess hindi ko rin
masisisi si Cai for making small sacrifices like that. Tuwing naaalala ko yung scene sa puntod ni
Evan, may namumuo agad na luha sa mga mata ko.
If true love is everlasting, then the pain must be everlasting too. Kapag sobra kang nagmahal, sobra
ka ring masasaktan. There's no other way around it. And she loves him so much that's why she's still
hurting. Until she could let go of him, of her love and their memories, I'm afraid she will just
continue to get hurt. Poor Cai.
Para kasing naiwan sya sa ere. Walang closure. It's clear that he still loves her, if in his current
form, he was able to. The string... I guess they have tied their hearts together for eternity. It
cannot be broken anymore.
True love indeed.
And now the possibility of being alone forever had sunk in. Gusto ko rin ng ganun. Gusto kong
makaramdam ng ganong klaseng pagmamahal but will He allow me? And now there's Cupid. What am I to do
with him?
'You speak of me as if I don't have feelings.' I heard him say.
'Sorry.'
'It's okay. I understand how you feel. Kaya nga sana makagawa ka na ng paraan para matapos ang task
mo. It's the only way you could be free.'
Pasimple ko syang hinanap sa paligid pero kagaya ng inaasahan ko. Wala sya. Naging invisible na kaya
sya sa paningin ko?
'Nasa'n ka?'
'I'm just around.'
'Bakit hindi ka nagpapakita?'
'I can't. Psyche won't let me.'
I would have believed that in an instant had it not been for the distant memory of him lying to me
while involving Psyche's name.
'I told her to not let me,' paliwanag nya after hearing my thoughts.
'Why? What are you hiding from me?'
Isang malakas na tapik sa balikat ang nagpabalik sa 'kin sa faculty room. Silvia was looking
quizzically at me. Dumating na pala si Cai, hindi ko man lang naramdaman. Masyado akong absorbed
kapag nag-uusap kami ni Cupid. Everything was tuned out. Boses ko at boses nya lang ang naririnig ko.
"Ano? Are you here with us na?" tanong nya. I sensed irritation in her voice. Siguro kasi nagsasalita
sya kanina tapos halatang hindi ako nakikinig.
Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya. "Yes. Thanks for waiting."
We all headed out of the room para pumunta sa kanya-kanyang klase namin. Nang nasa may pintuan,
nakasabay namin si Joseph. Natigilan kami pareho nang magkasabay kami palabas ng pintuan. He grunted
then went ahead.
"Ay ang bitter teh..." narinig kong bulong ni Silvia. Hindi ko na lang 'yun pinansin.
--
I had my advisory class today and while we were in the middle of discussing their midterm project,
may napansin ako. Ipina-distribute ko kay Krisnel yung mga papel nila from our long-quiz last week.
Nang nasa tapat na sya ni Jasper, he completely ignored her!
It does not look like he fell out of love though. Their strings were still bright red. Pati kay
Krisnel pero mas intense ang kulay sa side ni Jasper. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang drama nya ngayon but
it seemed to be working. Nothing impressive pero at least, mukhang bothered si Krisnel.
Je and Eileen were in their usual goofy selves, immersed inside their own bubble. Magkatabi na naman
sila, kahit may seat plan. Shaking my head, I called out the attention of the class. I told them that
they could choose where to sit during my class since hindi rin naman nila sinusunod yung seatplan.
Tuwang-tuwa naman sila.
Just then, an idea dawn on me.
--
Lunchtime nang hilahin ko sina Silvia sa isang sulok ng cafeteria. With their heavy trays on the
table, they slumped back to their seats and asked me what the rush is. I was so excited that I
couldn't even eat my food.
With a beaming smile, I told them my plan.
'Are you sure this is gonna work?' I heard Cupid's voice ask.
'No, but it's worth the try.'
"Are you sure this is gonna work?" I blinked when I heard the same question from Cai.
"Uh..." Umiling ako. "But it's worth the try?"
Silvia shrugged. "Well, I'm always up for a challenge but Jeron and Je Luu? Really? Mas bagay si
Jeron at Eileen!"
"But I think mas kilig if it's Je Luu and Jeron. You know, medyo unconventional," sabi naman ni Cai.
"I agree with Cai." Of course, I have to agree with Cai. They are my prospects anyway. I knew all
along who's for whom.
Silvia crossed her arms and looked at us with a frown. "Really? You're teaming up against me?"
"We're not teaming up against you, Silvia," sagot ko sa kanya. "Ang akin lang kasi, I asked you a
favor to bring those two together-Je Luu and Jeron-not the other girl."
"Pero hindi nga sila bagay kasi! It's like you and Joseph. Di bagay."
Napakunot na rin ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. It looked like she meant what she said. Hindi naman
kaya...
"Bakit naman napasama kami ni Joseph sa usapan?" hindi ko napigilang itanong.
She shrugged. "Wala lang. I was just comparing."
"Are you sure there's nothing more to it, Silvia?" I teased. Of course, there's something more.
Although it's not quite there yet pero, tingin ko malapit nya ng ma-realize na meron. There's
something between her and Joseph. It would reveal itself in time.
Kahit anong iwas ang gawin nila, magtatagpo at magtatagpo pa rin ang mga landas nila. They cannot
escape the inevitable. They cannot escape fate... as if they will try to.
"Can we go back to the matter at hand?" pairap nyang tanong. "As I was saying, Eileen and Jeron look
better together."
"But it's not how good they look that will determine how long they will stay in a relationship," I
replied.
"Yeah but it's a huge factor!" pagpupumilit nya naman.
"But it won't matter," singit ni Cai. "Kahit ano pa man ang hitsura mo, kung hindi ka naman gusto
nung tao, hindi kayo magtatagal. That's exactly why Joseph did not go for you, friend."
I wanted to correct Cai's statement and assure Silvia that it's just a fluke. That Joseph and I won't
really last but I held my tongue. Of course they won't believe me. What proof do I have?
"Tell you what friend, since you're so into the JeJe love team and I'm not, why don't we make a bet
out of it? Unahan tayong imatch si Jeron sa mga bet natin. Game?"
What? Oh no... this wasn't part of the plan...
"Wait guys, dapat kasi si Jeron and Je L-"
"Game!"
Gusto kong yumuko para iuntog ang ulo ko sa lamesa. They sealed the deal with a handshake. Ang bilis
ng pangyayari. Winner gets a free trip to Singapore. Roundtrip. At may kasama pang allowance worth
300 Singaporean dollars. Grabe, sa ganda ng prize, parang gusto ko na ring makisali. Pero hindi
pwede. I have to focus on Jasper and Krisnel.
For now, all I can do is root for Cai to do her best. Jeron has to end up with Je Luu or I'll be
losing another pair of hearts.
--
I was typing an update for my manuscript. I still have a long way to go. Wala pa yata ako sa
kalahati. I was propped on my bed, crouched, while listening to my two roomies bickering outside.
Nag-aaway na naman sila. Hindi ko alam kung ano na naman ang pinag-awayan nila. They're practically
living in together pero ganyan pa rin sila sa isa't isa.
Para kang may alagang aso at pusa sa bahay. Medyo masakit sa ulo.
At dahil medyo maingay, hindi ako masyadong maka-concentrate so I plugged in my earphones. Gusto kong
matawa dahil ang mga kantang nagpi-play ay yung nasa playlist ni Cupid.
Mula sa Stupid Loveletter hanggang sa Mister Kupido meron sya. Ang narcissistic nya talaga.
"Mina!"
I was startled by Psyche's perky voice. She slumped at the edge of the bed, ngiting-ngiti.
I removed my earphones. "Hi Psyche."
"I missed you!" Lumapit sya sa akin saka yumakap.
"I missed you too." I couldn't help but feel glad that Psyche's here. Bukod sa girl crush ko si
Miranda Kerr-na model ng katawang-lupa nya, may matatanong na rin ako about Cupid's situation. I just
hope she won't lie to me. "Psyche?"
"Hm?"
"Where's Cupid?"
Her buoyant happy self suddenly deflated. She removed her arms from me and looked away. "Nandyan lang
sya. Don't worry about him."
Bumawi sya ng tingin at ngumiti.
"Bakit hindi sya nagpapakita?"
Hindi sya agad nakasagot. She got up from the bed and started pacing the room. Nang tingin ko ay
mahihilo na ako sa kakabalik-balik nya, she stopped and looked at me with a sad frown.
"He doesn't want me to tell you."
"Hindi mo sya amo para sundin. Come on Psyche, help me here. Magkaibigan naman tayo, di ba?"
She bit the inside of her cheek, looking guilty but at the same time, hesitant to reveal his secret.
Naaawa na ako sa kanya. Palagi na lang syang naiipit sa gitna. But if Cupid won't tell me, who else
will but her?
"Ask him first. Baka naman sabihin nya sa 'yo."
I nodded. "Will you tell me?" I asked. The question was intended for Cupid and Psyche and I waited
for him to answer but after ten minutes, we only heard silence and our own grunts.
So he's tuned out tonight. I guess he's planning to avoid that topic hanggat kaya nya. E di kung ayaw
nya, di 'wag. I brushed the topic off immediately and asked Psyche about random things. Halos inabot
kami ng hating-gabi pagki-kwentuhan and I totally forgot about my manuscript.
When I finally remember it, it was too late. Sobrang antok na ako. Psyche said her goodnights and
promised that she'll come back tomorrow. Nasa ilalim na ako ng kumot at papikit na nang may
maramdaman akong nakatingin sa 'kin.
"Cupid?" I squinted to get a better look at him but unless bubuhayin ko yung ilaw, hindi ko sya
makikita. Nasa sulok sya ng kwarto ko, lurking in the shadows. It's as if he didn't want to be seen.
"Hi Mina." I sensed joy in his voice. It's as if he's smiling when he greeted me. "I am," he said,
confirming my thoughts.
"Bakit ayaw mong lumapit?"
"Hindi pwede."
"Sabi nino?"
"Sabi ko."
"E kung gusto kong lumapit ka?" tanong ko sa kanya.
From his silhouette, I saw him shake his head. "I can't."
I sighed. "Why are you avoiding me? Ni ayaw mong magpakita. Ano ba'ng meron?"
"It's better if you don't know. Trust me."
His last words triggered something and I felt my nostrils flare as the anger surges. Nawala na ang
antok ko.
"Trust you?" I hissed. "I know better than to trust you!" I said through gritted teeth. Oo, simula
nang malaman kong nagsinungaling sya sa akin, hindi na muling nabuo ang tiwala ko sa kanya. There is
still doubt in his every word. There is so little trust in his actions.
"Mina, please... let's not dwell in the past anymore."
"Let me see you." I don't know why I was so hung up on seeing him. Maybe it's because I was scared of
what happened, thought I don't know what had happened. That night... he was in pain. He was limping.
Natatakot ako sa kung ano man ang mangyari and to top that off, hindi ako sanay ng wala sya.
'Yeah, you heard me right.' I kinda miss him.
"Promise me first that in spite of whatever you will see tonight, you will remain in bed, tucked
under your blanket. You will not go near me. Promise me."
"Okay." Though I'm not sure why there's a need for that. "I promise."
I choked back the tears threatening to come out when I saw him. I opened the light and saw
everything. Sana pala hindi ko na lang binuksan ang ilaw. Sana pala hinayaan ko na lang na yung sinag
ng buwan ang makita ko. Seeing him in this state, parang may kung anong kumurot sa puso ko.
His sleeves, rolled up as usual, bared his blackened arms, as if charred badly. There were black
veins protruding from under his sleeves and I'm pretty sure na mas marami pa noon sa may bandang
dibdib nya.
There were some on his neck too. Umabot pa ang ilan sa pisngi nya. His left eye is unrecognizable.
His iris is gray. Para kang tumitingin sa bolang kristal na puno ng usok.
He smiled at me. "Don't look at me like that."
"W-What happened to you?"
He took a deep breath and winced. It was like he was badly damaged on the inside.
"This is my fault. I'm sorry." Sumandal sya sa pader na katabi ng bintana. "I guess this is another
punishment for me."
"Punishment for what?"
"For crossing the line."
Natahimik kami pareho. I waited for him to say something. Nababalisa ako sa nakikita ko. Gusto ko
syang lapitan at gamutin but I doubt that any human medicine could heal that.
"Ano na naman ba ang ginawa mo?" I asked in a reprimanding voice.
A sweet smile played on his lips as he stared into space, as if remembering a distant memory.
"Whatever I did was worth the pain."
Hindi man nya sinabi, parang alam ko na kung ano ang tinutukoy nya.
"All of this... from a hug?"
It wasn't even that long. Segundo lang yata ang binilang ng pagyakap nyang 'yun sa 'kin and he
already got this? It's as if the slightest contact he could have with me would bring him grave pain
or worse, death.
"Soon, even looking at you would become unbearable."

####################################
Chapter 30: Collision
####################################
He was damaged, damaged beyond repair. At kasalanan ko iyong lahat. It was not enough that he fell in
love with someone he can't have. No, of course he had to be punished for it. He had to be reminded of
his mistakes every now and then. I can't help but wonder why God was so cruel to him.
'He's not. He's just being just.'
I winced when I heard his voice. Suddenly, the memories of what transpired last night flooded my
brain. His grey, soulless eye; the veins protruding from underneath his shirt; his charred skin...
'Don't-' Even the sound of his voice triggers that unwanted memory.
'Sorry...'
'Please... just let me think in peace.'
I heard him sigh and then everything fell silent.
I was so preoccupied with the recent events that Silvia had to snap her fingers a few times before my
attention was diverted back to her. Nagsisimula na yung pustahan nila ni Cai. It was a good thing na
naha-handle ni Cai ang klase ko. That way, mas kilala nya at mas madalas nyang makausap sina Je at
Jeron or as they dubbed them-the Jeje couple. I'm not sure if it's a huge advantage though. I mean,
kahit hindi naman naha-handle ni Silvia ang klase ko, kilala naman sya sa buong school.
I told them na isama na rin sa plano nila sina Jasper at Krisnel. May isa pa kasi akong problema
bukod sa kanila. Sina Bryan at Karen. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sila imamatch. Hindi ko naman sila
kilala personally. That could be a problem.
"I can help you with that."
I frowned at Psyche-because it's all I could do, I can't communicate with her using my mind-as she
smiles at me. She was standing between Cai and Silvia, who were busily chatting.
"Help?" Napatingin ang dalawa sa 'kin. Nginitian ko sila. "Wala lang, baka gusto nyong tulungan ko
kayo."
"Please," Silvia said while rolling her eyes. Okay, so she doesn't need my help.
I looked at Cai. "I'm good, Mina. Thanks," she replied.
'You're the one who needs help.'
Napamulagat ako nang may marinig akong boses sa utak ko. Not Cupid's. It was... Psyche's. Her smile
widened at my reaction, confirming na sya nga ang narinig ko.
'How did you-'
'He lent me his gift,' she replied.
I don't know why I felt something odd. Like this was wrong. It was not supposed to be like this. The
silence inside my head now seemed unbearable. 'Cupid?' I called out to him.
Psyche looked sympathetic. 'He won't answer, Mina.'
Parang may kung anong bumara sa lalamunan ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nanlumo ako. Pinanghinaan.
This was more than just not being able to communicate. It's as if we weren't connected anymore. I
excused myself and went out of the cafeteria. Sinundan ako ni Psyche.
I went to the library, took a book from a shelf and sat down, pretended I was reading. Tinabihan ako
ni Psyche.
"Mina..."
'Why?'
"Well, he just thought na mas makakatulong ako sa 'yo ngayon. He can't see you and I think you won't
be seeing him for a few more weeks."
'Ganun na ba kalala ang kondisyon nya?' I asked. An image of his face contorted in pain flashed
inside my head.
"Ang tigas kasi ng ulo nya e. He hasn't fully recovered yet from the kiss nang nagkaroon ulit kayo ng
physical contact. If he touches you again for the third time in a row, even the tip of your finger,
he'll be..." She looked away. "I'm sorry, Mina."
'Bakit naman ganun kalala? Don't you think God's a bit unfair?'
She shook her head. "Falling in love is a violation of the code. We cannot love unless it's the whole
human race we will love. We cannot direct the feeling to only one being. We cannot be romantically
involved for that is a human thing and we aren't humans, Mina. We are angels. We are far more
superior to mortals.
"A mistake cannot be resolved by another mistake. He knows that. Of all the angels, he should know
that. But he had been violating the code ever since. He wasn't satisfied with just being in love with
you. He felt like he had to do something about it. He felt like he had to connect with you, in a
human way. The kiss was simply unforgivable yet he didn't stop there. He had to come back to take you
into his arms. He would have done something more if not for the pain.
"The pain reminds him that he already crossed the line, he should take a step back and reflect. He
needs to heal. He won't heal unless he's miles away from you, somewhere where he could not touch you.
Your presence brings him pain."
Hinawakan nya ang kamay ko, which I didn't realize was trembling until then. I noticed that I did not
disappear. Then I remembered na si Cupid lang pala ang makakagawa nun. Cupid. I sighed. Why does his
absence bother me this much? Ganoon na ba kami ka-close?
"Oh my gosh..."
'What?' I frowned at Psyche who was gaping at me.
"N-Nothing."
'Psyche, come on. Tell me. Pati ba naman ikaw, maglilihim din sa 'kin?'
She shook her head. "Nothing, Mina. May naalala lang akong importanteng dapat gawin. Uh, about kina
Brian and Karen, you have to go to the mall after class. The nearest mall. Sakay ka ng jeep na papara
sa harap mo at exactly 6:07pm. Kung magagawa mo 'yun, you'll get to see them. I'll be with you
later."
'Teka, Pscyhe-'
But she was gone already.
Bumalik ako sa cafeteria to eat but I already lost my appetite. I went back to the faculty room
instead. Wrong move. Walang tao sa faculty room kundi sya. Ang malas ko naman. I sat on my table and
open my textbook. Nagbasa ako ng kaunti habang inaantay ang end ng lunch break.
I knew he'd look at me. I felt it. I felt his eyes bore at the back of my head, willing me to turn
around and look. Maybe I'd catch him looking if I did. So instead, I brushed off the uneasy feeling
from his gaze and tried to digest what I was reading, which was not helping really.
The words were swimming before my eyes. Alam kong wala ang atensyon ko sa libro. Nasa kanya. Heaving
a sigh, I slowly turned around and met his gaze.
His eyes were full of contempt. He didn't look away. I had to. Hindi ko kayang tagalan ang titig nya.
It was so intense. Yung titig nya, parang nagsasabing kasalanan ko lahat. That he didn't deserve
this.
I quickly readied my things and headed out. Malapit na ako sa may pintuan nang narinig ko syang
tumikhim. My steps halted in an instant. I waited for him to say something. Anything. Even angry
words, I'd gladly hear them. I don't like this silence.
I don't like this silence inside my head. Why is my mind so quiet?
'Cupid?' He won't answer. Ah-'Psyche?'
I waited. I could hear his steps from across the room. Alam kong papalapit na sya sa 'kin. What do I
do?
'Psyche?!'
Still, I did not receive an answer. Grunting, I ran outside the faculty room. Bahala na sya kung ano
ang gusto nyang isipin. Maybe I'm not ready to face him yet.
The pathway was crowded and noisy as usual. Yet there's a deafening silence inside my head, the
silence I know only his voice could fill. I wanted to see him again. I want us to get back to normal.
Before the kiss... when everything was going well. We could laugh, talk and hold hands.
Ngayon, wala na. Ni boses nya hindi ko marinig. Where is Psyche, anyway?
May biglang tumapik sa balikat ko. 'Hey!'
Psyche was beaming. 'Missed me?' she asked.
'Why didn't you answer my call earlier?' kunot-noo kong tanong. We walked towards the room kung
nasaan ang klase ko for the hour.
'What? Tumawag ka ba? Sorry, I didn't hear you.'
'Weird.' I frowned. 'Si Cupid, kahit hindi nya ako nakikita, I could still hear his voice and he
could hear mine. Bakit ikaw, hindi?'
"Oh that!" She finally opened her mouth. I find it weird kapag boses nya ang naririnig ko sa utak ko.
"Ang sabi nya sa 'kin, we can't communicate kapag wala ako sa kung saan ka naroon. He said that we
should be in the same place so we could talk, you know, mentally."
'Pero bakit kami-'
She smiled. "You have this sort of rapport na kayo lang ang meron. Even if he's on the other side of
the globe, he could still hear your thoughts. Your bond is different than ours, Mina. Way too
different."
'What kind of different? Bad or good?'
She shrugged. "A mixture of both, I guess." Lumakad sya ng patalikod sa unahan ko. Well, she's got no
problem seeing na nalalampasan lang ng ibang tao ang katawan nya.
'Will he be okay? Paano sya ginagamot?'
"Take a guess," she said.
'I'm really not-'
"Prayers, Mina. Prayers are our strength."
Mas lalo akong naguluhan sa sinabi nya. Ang alam ko kasi, ang mga tao, nagdadasal lang kapag may
kailangan-well, yung karamihan. Iilan na lang yung selfless ang pagdarasal. Yung hindi nakasentro sa
sariling pangangailangan at gusto. 'Yung dasal talaga. Hindi puro hiling.
"He's collecting prayers from around the world. Alam mo ba ang nakakatuwa? Karamihan sa nakukuha
nyang dasal ay galing sa mga bata at dun sa mga taong payak lang ang pamumuhay. Dun sa aakalain mong
sila iyong maraming kahilingan dahil sila 'yung walang-wala pero, pagdating sa pagdarasal, mapagbigay
sila."
Napansin ko lang na nakatigil na pala ako sa gitna ng pathway nang may biglang bumunggo sa 'kin.
"Ay ma'am, sorry!"
"Okay lang." I smiled at the kid and went off the pathway. Naglakad ako papunta sa may mga punong
mangga at naupo sa isa sa mga benches. 'Tell me more,' I told Psyche, who followed me there.
"About what?"
'The prayers. How can he travel with his condition? May kasama ba sya o katulong man lang sa
pangungulekta?'
She shook her head. "He has to do it alone. Besides, it's easy for him. He'll just apparate."
'Wow ha. Huma-Harry Potter.'
"I thought you might like it." Of course, I like it. I love Harry Potter. It's one of those things
that made me believe in magic. That kind of magic, I can deal with. Kahit na ba sinasabing may sa
demonyo raw ang witchcraft. At least it could be done. It can be real.
These strings... angels... Cupid... they seemed more far-fetched than sorcery yet here I am, smack
right in the middle of it all.
'How many prayers do he have to collect?'
"In his condition? Probably a lot. Pero alam ko may quota rin kung ilan e," sagot nya.
'Quota?' Napakunot ang noo ko dun. Uso rin pala sa kanila ang quota? Tingnan mo nga naman, I'm
learning something new every day.
"Yes, quota. Limits. We cannot just accumulate all the prayers. Bawal sa amin ang maging ganid, sa
kahit anumang bagay. Take what you need, no more and no less. Kung ganyan lang din siguro ang
kalakaran ninyong mga tao, baka wala ng naghihirap ngayon sa mundo."
Bawal ang maging ganid. 'Yun bang ginawa nya, kalabisan ba 'yun?'
She smiled sympathetically at me. "Mina, he tipped the balance already. He became selfish and for
what? Love?"
'Why does it sound like loving is a wrong thing?'
"No. Not loving. Loving is never wrong. It's just that, may mga bagay tayong ginagawa para sa pag-
ibig. Hindi masama ang magmahal, Mina. Pero lahat ng pagmamahal ay may lugar, panahon at pagkakataon.
Hindi dahil sa gusto mo lang, go ka na. hindi lang puso ang pinapairal kapag nagmamahal ka. It
involves your whole being. That's why one cannot truly love without being whole first."
Hindi masama ang magmahal. Pero lahat ng pagmamahal ay may lugar, panahon at pagkakataon.
At ang pagmamahal niya ay wala sa lugar, wala sa panahon at lalong wala sa pagkakataon. Ang pagmamhal
niya ay hindi nararapat. Ang pagmamahal niya ay para dapat sa lahat at hindi sa iisang tao lang. His
love is so wrong in so many levels. Naaawa ako sa kanya pero tama sila. He can't love me.
Therefore, I have to finish this task to make things normal again. He won't remember me so at least
he'll be spared of the hurt. He does not deserve to get hurt... not when his only mistake is to love.
At exactly 6:07pm, pumara ako ng sasakyan papuntang mall. It was odd that it has only two passengers.
Well, three, if I would count Psyche. Nasa dulong unahan si Karen. Nasa dulong likod naman si Bryan.
Isang nasa kanan at isa namang nasa kaliwa. Naupo ako sa bandang gitna, malapit kay Karen.
"Makikisuyo ng bayad. Salamat." Walang kaimik-imik niyang kinuha iyon at iniabot sa driver. Lumipat
ako agad sa dulong likod sa tapat ni Bryan nang palapitin ako ni Psyche sa kanya. Mabuti na lang at
medyo traffic dahil uwian kundi ay baka nalaglag na ako.
It was odd, really odd, na kami lamang ang sakay ng jeep. 'Yung ibang jeep punuan. Bakit ganoon? I
saw Psyche smile and it suddenly dawned on me that she's behind it.
"Magic."
'What's up with them anyway?' I asked her. Pasimple kong tiningnan sina Karen at Bryan. Si Bryan ay
nakatingin kay Karen habang si Karen naman ay nakatingin sa labas ng jeep.
"Pakisuyo ng bayad." Bryan stretched out his hand. Umusod pa ito sa bandang gitna at nakaabot kay
Karen ang kaliwang braso.
Tumikhim ako ng mahina. "Bayad daw."
Lumingon naman si Karen but when she saw whose fare it was, agad itong umirap.
"Makikisuyo naman. Please lang," may diing pakiusap ni Bryan.
Lumingon ulit si Karen, kunot ang noo.
"Ang lapit-lapit mo na nga, ipapaabot mo pa?" mataray nitong tanong.
"Dyan ka kasi nakapwesto. Malamang magiging taga-abot ka ng bayad."
"O, e di lilipat. Madali akong kausap." Umurong si Karen hanggang sa magkadikit na kami. Ngumisi
naman si Psyche na noo'y lumipat sa pwesto ni Bryan. Pareho na kaming natatawa. Ang daya. Ako
kailangan kong magpigil.
I'm not the only one though. Nagpipigil din ng inis si Bryan. Halata. Wala naman syang nagawa kundi
lumapit sa driver at iabot ang sarili nyang bayad. I glanced at Karen, naka-cross ang mga braso nito.
Para itong porcelain doll. Dainty... kaso mukhang may pagkamataray.
Nang makapag-abot ng bayad ay bumalik na si Bryan sa dati niyang pwesto. Ito namang si Karen ay
bumalik sa pag-ismid.
Nagpakawala ng mahinang buntong-hininga si Bryan saka niya itinuon ang atensyon sa mga sasakyang
kasabay namin.
"Who would have thought that they're in love with each other, right?"
'What?'
"Pumara ka na. Nasa mall na tayo."
"P-Para ho!"
Nang makababa kami ay sinundan ko si Psyche papasok ng mall. It looked like she already knows where
she's going. May pupuntahan ba kami?
I tried to keep up with her pace. 'Ano ba kasi ang kwento ng dalawang 'yun? Bakit galit na galit si
Karen kay Bryan? I mean-aside from the fact that he hurt her sister...'
"Ang kwento kasi nyan, sila dapat dalawa... matagal na. Matagal ng may gusto si Karen dyan but she
knows her little sister loves him too at kagaya ng mga napapanuod mong love triangle sa isang
teleserye, hindi sila tatlo habang buhay. May isa na kailangang magparaya.
"Karen did. Tutal naman, pakiramdam nya noon ay kapatid niya ang gusto ni Bryan. Sino ba naman sya
para makigulo? Pero kasi, kapag hindi mo talaga inaalam ang mga bagay-bagay at nakukuntento ka na
lamang sa assumptions mo, madalas na sa huli mo na lang malalaman na maling hinala lang pala ang
lahat."
'So he did like her?'
"Yes."
'Why didn't he tell her? E di sana maayos na sila ngayon.'
Umiling sya. "Puno kasi ng komplikasyon ang buhay, Mina. Every action will ripple across the
universe. As you move, the whole universe moves with you. You don't just walk on a straight line for
there is no straight line in life. Walang simple.
"Life is like a tapestry. Minsan akala mo sa una, perfect, pero kapag titingnan mo sa likod, magulo
pala. Parang sila. Simple nga lang, di ba? Bakit hindi na lang maging sila e pareho naman sila ng
nararamdaman? Simple. May masasaktan kasi. Komplikado."
'Hindi rin naman kasi para sa isa't isa sina Bryan at 'yung kapatid ni Karen e.'
"Oo nga... pero hindi nila alam 'yun. Ang alam lang nila, kapag ito ang pinili nila, may masasaktan.
Palaging may masasaktan... either sila o 'yung mga taong mahal nila."
'So what now?'
"Now we have to figure out a way para maging open ulit sila sa isa't isa. They were friends, didn't
you know? Not as close as your Kuya and Aly pero close enough. Nasa iisang barkada. Nasa iisang
batch. Sa una walang pansinan. Akala mo walang posibilidad tapos nang magkita ulit, parang may nag-
iba. We call that the sudden shift in the universe. It's what we call awareness."
'The first step.'
"Yes."
####################################
Chapter 31: Desolation
####################################
Psyche filled me in with the real score between Karen and Bryan. They have known each other for a
long time. Both have been giving each other hints but they took them all wrongly. Karen's little
sister had the courage to confess and because they didn't want to hurt her... she set aside her
feelings, not knowing that Bryan did the same.
She did not know that they both feel the same... well, it wasn't until he was already in a
relationship with her sister. Then this other girl came into the picture. Her mom's an alleged witch
in their province, who the girl asked to help get Bryan for herself.
Love potion, like hypnotism, makes a person lose their will momentarily. Kapag nangyari iyon, lahat
ng gagawin nila ay hindi nila kagustuhan. That's what happened to Bryan. He was under some kind of
spell for a few months, until Psyche freed him from it.
'How do you know all this?'
"He asked me to help."
'Cupid?'
She shook her head. "God."
I could not believe it. The same God who punished him sent help?
"Of course He did. He cares about us, you know. He asked me if I could help Cupid. Cupid didn't know,
of course. Ayaw Nya kasing ipasabi. He's not unfair, Mina. Minsan lang talaga kailangan mong magpataw
ng parusa sa mga nagkakamali. Minsan kailangan mo silang bigyan ng problema para maging matatag sila.
Masakit sa Kanya ang magpataw ng parusa. That's the reason why He sends help.
"Ang tulong naman, hindi mo agad mari-recognize e. Ibinibigay lang 'yan kapag alam Nyang hindi mo na
talaga kaya. He will never give you a burden that you can't carry and He will never give you a
problem you can't solve. Katulad sa math, di ba? Bibigyan ka ba ng problem na walang solution?"
'Alam mo Psyche, with the way you speak, you could easily replace Cupid,' I joked.
She laughed a little and then shook her head. "No, I don't think so. We were given certain roles and
it doesn't matter how small or big they are. The only thing that matters is how you'll do well with
the role given to you. I know that Cupid's way more valuable than I am and I doubt that I could even
do his job, but without me, he'll be a goner for sure. Maliit man ang parte ko, Mina, alam kong
importante rin ako. I may be a small piece in the puzzle but without me, the puzzle can never be
complete."
'I was just joking, Psyche,' I said with a straight face.
"I know. I just feel like explaining. Anyway, how's it going with your other prospects? Any
progress?"
I scratched my eyebrow while pondering. Progress? May progress ba? Lumiko kami sa may papuntang food
court at tumambad sa akin ang progress na kanina ko pa hinahanap sa utak ko.
'Is this why you brought me here?' I asked. I was not waiting for her reply though. There are some
questions you already know the answer to but you would still ask, just for the sake of asking.
Sitting a few tables away from where we're standing are Silvia, Eileen and Jeron.
Mukhang immersed na immersed ang tatlo sa pagkikwentuhan. Bumabangka si Silvia habang pangiti-ngiti
lang ang dalawa. Great. Where's Je Luu, anyway?
"Apparently, she's not invited," sagot ni Psyche.
'I never should have agreed to that bet.'
"You didn't."
I sighed. 'She'll do it anyway. Can't I find another pair, for spare?'
She shook her head. "The six have already been marked. There's no way you could change their fate."
Naupo ako sa isang bakantang upuan. Mamaya na lang siguro ako bibili ng pagkain. Hindi pa naman ako
gutom.
'Mali ka. Humans make their own destiny.' I know that would be an opening for yet another argument.
And I was right.
"No. You choose your paths but the destination will never change. Para kang nakatayo sa isang mapa.
You can just take different routes but your destination will never change. Think of it like this: you
have decisions to make and those decisions have their corresponding choices. Choose path A and you
will go this way, path B and it will be like this, et cetera. But can you just imagine if all men can
make their own destiny? Magugulo ang lahat."
'Why do you have to choose if it'll end up the same?'
"Because, Mina, what you should care about is the journey. People are going to die in the end, that's
a fact and you can't change it. But you can change the way you're living. You can make it a happy
journey. You can make it fulfilling. In making your choices, you affect the lives of others. You are
all intertwined. Katulad nga ng palaging sinasabi ni Cupid, your actions will ripple across the
universe. You cannot move without affecting others. So if you make the right choice, they will be
affected in a good way. You're not just making your own journey fulfilling but theirs as well.
"Happy endings don't matter. Endings don't matter because they're already the end. Maaalala ka ng
mundo sa mga bagay na ginawa mo. That's what matters. So you see, even if you can't change your fate,
you can make the getting there part worthwhile."
I sighed. I lost another argument.
Tumayo ako para maghanap ng kakainin. She followed me. I heard her chuckle and when I looked at her,
she has this amused expression on her face.
'What?'
"You think you can hear Cupid in every word I'm saying. Oh Mina... you both are so messed up."
I ignored her remark because I did not want to delve in it any deeper. Kung magtatanong naman ako,
alam kong hindi nya rin sasagutin. So where's the point in asking? Bumili na lang ako ng pagkain. I
ate while watching Silvia and my two students from afar.
I still have this problem with Krisnel and Jasper. The two are still not on speaking terms. Something
has changed though and I don't know if I could count that as progress. Sa pagiging aloof ni Jasper,
mukhang si Krisnel naman ang nagsisimulang mag-reach out. Little by little, she's mustering up the
courage to talk to him. He, on the other hand, seems to be shutting her down.
"The push and pull thing," Psyche commented.
'Huh?'
"Kapag masyado mo kasing ginagawang available ang sarili mo sa isang tao, chances are they'll just
take you for granted. Nandyan ka e, hindi ka umaalis. So whatever they do, they're assured that you
won't go. Now try flipping things over. Kung palagi kang present, this time, magpa-miss ka. Kung
palagi kang available, this time maging unreachable ka. Make them feel like it will be there loss if
they let you go."
'I've heard of that but I didn't think it's actually a thing.'
"Oh it is. People do that all the time. People who are either tired of being treated like dirt or who
are smart enough to know that they don't have to be the one doing all the efforts all the time."
'And do you think that will work on them?' I asked in doubt.
"Why don't you take a look and tell me?" She cocked her head to their direction and I followed with
my gaze. Krisnel sat down next to Jasper. It was their vacant hour and Jasper's just sitting on one
empty bench, with his headset on. Naupo si Krisnel a few good inches away from him.
He seemed to have noticed her but acted like he didn't. Prente lang syang nakasandal while looking
ahead. Krisnel looked at him. I couldn't see her face dahil nasa may side nya kami nakapwesto. When
she turned to him, she had her back on me.
"Huy," narinig kong sabi nya sabay kuhit sa katabi.
I caught a glimpse of Jasper removing his headset. "Ano?" narinig kong tanong nya, medyo may
pagkairita sa boses.
"Galit ka?"
"Huh? Bakit naman ako magagalit?" he scoffed.
"Ilang araw ka na kayang hindi namamansin," sagot ni Krisnel.
"Sa pagkakatanda ko, ikaw ang hindi namamansin, Pepay."
Yumuko si Krisnel. "Sorry."
"Ayos lang. Sanay na 'ko. Ge." Jasper stood up and left her.
"Mina." Kinuhit ako ni Psyche.
'What?'
"May klase ka pa, di ba?"
'Tsk. Oo nga. Let's go. I'll talk to Cai later.'
So I asked Cai to help me out with Jasper and Krisnel first. And in return, I'll help out with Jeron
and Je Luu. She was hesitant at first. Wala talaga syang tiwala sa 'kin. Kung sabagay, mukhang mas
marami silang alam kesa sa 'kin. Dagdag pa dyan na may prize ang mananalo.
Alam kong mali na pinagpupustahanan ko ang mga batang 'yun but what am I to do? And besides,
motivation lang naman 'yung bet though I'd rather have them work together to make the JeJe couple
become a reality. But of course, where's the fun in that? Sabi nga ni Silvia, "Kung sila, e di sila."
"Kung sila, e di sila." Napakunot ang noo ko nang ulitin ko 'yun. "Uhm Psyche?"
"Yes?" She plopped down my bed.
"You said that we can only change our paths but not our destinations, right? Then... kahit ano'ng
gawin ko, since fated na ang mga prospects ko, magiging sila pa rin sa huli, tama?" Kung ganoon nga
ang logic, then kahit wala akong gawin, sila-sila pa rin ang magkakatuluyan dahil sila-sila naman ang
nakatadhana para sa isa't isa.
Psyche smiled and raised her right hand, having the index finger in a ticking motion. "Not so fast
with the conclusions, Mina."
"But I'm right."
"Well, yes and no."
"Explain."
"You see, they all end up with their soul mates, yes but you're forgetting that you have a deadline.
This year that was allotted for your task was already part of their destiny. That you are destined to
match them. If you fail, yes there's a chance that they end up together anyway but what about you?"
"Well... what's my destination?"
Umiling sya. "I honestly don't know. He alone knows. Secured na ang mga tadhana ng mga prospects mo,
Mina. You can choose to do nothing and their fates will never change. But your situation is
different. If you fail to do the task, you will have to suffer the consequences. Hanggang doon pa
lang ang alam natin sa tadhana mo. Hindi pa natin alam kung ano ang kahahantungan. So yes, they'll
all end up happy but what about you? You can't take that risk."
Tinamaan ako sa sinabi nya. Yes, my life is like an unfinished tapestry with all the threads having
their ends still loose. I don't know what will happen. Paano na lang kung magiging katulad din pala
ako ni Cupid na non-existent sa mga tao? Yes, the other side of that is I will get through all this
and have my life back to normal pero hindi ko alam kung alin sa dalawa ang kahahantungan ko. 'Wag
naman sana 'yung una. Parang masasayang naman ang efforts ko kapag nagkataon.
"Don't worry, Mina. He'll put you in a place where He knows you'd fit."
I sighed. "I just hope I won't end up miserable." I slumped back to the head rest. "And what about
Cupid. Is it his destiny to fall for me?"
Psyche shook her head. "We don't have that, Mina. We don't have endings. We're not mortals, remember?
Kayong mga tao ang parte ng bigger plan. Kumbaga, kami lamang ang tagasubaybay. We're not part of
your destinies and we will never be."
"So was it part of my destiny that an angel will for me?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's just part of the means and not the end."
I hugged my pillow and looked at her. "Psyche, can you relay a message to Cupid please?"
"Sure. What message?"
"Teka, isusulat ko. Pero umalis ka muna. Balikan mo na lang. I don't want you to read my thoughts."
"Awww..." Sumimangot sya.
I smiled at her. "Please?"
"Okay. But I'll only give you an hour. Babalik ako after that."
"Okay."
I made a letter to Cupid, since he could not hear my thoughts and he still couldn't get near me.
Noong una, hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin. I mean, I thought it would be easy given na madalas
naman kaming mag-usap dati. But his absence created a gap between us and now, whenever I would think
of him, I'd feel really awkward.
Nakasulat lang ako ng matinong sulat twenty minutes before my hour ended.
I gave it to her and made her promise not to open it. Makalipas ang dalawang oras, bumalik na sya. I
was expecting for a reply but she came back empty-handed.
"Well? Didn't he say anything?"
She bit her lip. She looked like she was on the verge of crying.
"Psyche? What is it?"
She slowly walked towards me and hugged me tightly. Narinig ko syang bumuntong-hininga.
"He just wanted to say that he... uhm... h-he loves you. He loves you so much and that no matter what
happens, it will never change. Mina, he said he's willing to defy everything for you."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong natakot. It's as if I felt it in my heart that he will do
something reckless for me. Why must he make things more difficult?
"And Mina?"
"Y-Yes?"
"He said that he will be back next week."
And just like that, the fear vanished. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng matinding tuwa. Finally, after a
long time, he'll come back to me...
Psyche loosened her embrace and frowned at me. There's something in her eyes. Hindi ko mapangalanan
kung ano but it felt ominous.
"Mina, don't give him hope. You know it'll just hurt him."
"I won't. I'm not planning to," I assured her.
"Yes, but you don't plan love."

####################################
Chapter 32: Reunited
####################################
I felt Psyche's hand on my shoulder, almost gripping it.
"Remember Mina, don't give hope to someone who's already hopeless," bulong niya. I didn't quite get
what she was saying but I had no time to ponder about it. Halos hindi ako makahinga. Parang may kung
anong bikig sa lalamunan ko. My hands were already sweating.
She brought me in a park and said that we'll meet him here. Walang masyadong tao sa parteng
pinuntahan namin. He stood a few meters away from me, wearing a huge smile on his face. Earlier,
Psyche reminded me to stay away from him... physically. She said he wasn't fully healed but he
insisted to see me. He said that I will give him strength. Ang ironic. I'm the very cause of his
pain, after all.
His unruly curls were shimmering under the rays of the setting sun. Pati 'yung chin nya may stubbles
na rin. Wala na 'yung mga marka sa balat nya and his eyes have regained their natural color. He
looked the same but different. I don't know what's different. He just feels different, I guess.
"Hi," he greeted.
I nodded. "Hello. Kumusta ka?"
He opened his arms and gave a shrug. "Okay, I guess. Ikaw?"
"Okay naman. Wala pa ring progress," pag-amin ko sa kanya. May progress naman, actually, but I'm not
counting on it. Silvia already has the upper hand. Ibinalita nito sa akin na text mates and phone
pals na sina Eileen at Jeron. Madalas na ring mag-usap ang mga ito. Pansin ko 'yun dahil pare-pareho
silang nasa klase ko. At kung dati ay sina Je Luu at Jeron ang madalas kausap, ngayon ay medyo na-o-
OP n si Je Luu sa dalawa. Mas madalas kasing magkausap ang mga ito ngayon.
"Come on. I'm sure there is."
I sighed. "Silvia's winning the bet. Hirap pa ako kina Karen dahil madalang ko silang makita. And
Joseph's-well, he's making things harder."
"Why don't you try distracting Silvia?"
Kumunot ang noo ko. "How?"
He smiled and sat down on the bench na nasa gitna namin. "Come sit with me," he said as he was
patting the space next to him.
"I don't think that's a great idea."
"Mina, I haven't seen you in a long time and I've missed you terribly. It's frustrating to know that
I can't touch even the tip of your finger. All I ask is for you to sit next to me. Hindi mo pa ba ako
pagbibigyan? I promise I won't cross the space between us. Just sit here, please."
I cautiously sat down on the other side of the bench. If he moves even just one inch closer, tatayo
ako. He can't afford to get hurt again. Hindi ko na pwedeng i-tolerate ang katigasan ng ulo nya.
"Nakakapanibago. Hindi kita marinig."
"Kasalanan mo 'yan."
"I know." He smiled. "I just miss hearing your thoughts about me."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please."
Tumawa sya. Psyche's clearing of throat burst our little bubble. Nandito pa pala sya. Nakatayo sa may
hindi kalayuan. I totally forgot about her.
'I'll let it pass for now,' she said.
'Oops. Sorry. I forgot you could hear me.'
'You seemed to have forgotten a lot of things today.' She glanced at Cupid. 'Just don't forget that
he's not fully healed, will you?'
"Hey, it's rude to talk about me in private when I'm just here," singit naman ni Cupid.
Psyche smiled at him. "I have to go. Got something to complete in an hour. You guys behave, okay?"
Sabay kaming tumango ni Cupid. Then Psyche just... disappeared. Huh.
"She's really pretty, don't you think?"
"The identity she imitated is pretty," he corrected.
Nilingon ko sya. "Kayo bang dalawa... you didn't try getting in a relationship with one another?" I
asked out of curiosity.
He looked at me incredulously. "What? No!" he guffawed. "What made you ask?"
I shrugged. "Well, for one, you look so good together. And your names..."
"Our names do not define our compatibility."
"Yes, but the Greek myth-"
"The Greek myth?" He laughed. "So you believe in myths now?"
"Hey, I used to not believe in magic, okay? Yet here I am, talking to you."
He leaned against the bench and spread his arms. His hand almost touched my shoulder. Lumayo ako ng
kaunti.
"Psyche and Cupid are just names we chose to represent ourselves. Nothing more. It doesn't mean that
what happened to myths happened or will happen to us. Like our bodies, we just borrowed names from
you."
"But you must have angelic names, right?"
Umiling sya. "We don't need names. He doesn't call us by names."
"But isn't that confusing?"
"No. Well, in your perspective, I guess. He doesn't need names. He calls you by your heart."
"You don't have a heart." I pointed out.
"I used an analogy to make my explanation understandable. And I do have a heart," he replied.
"Touché." Tumango-tango ako. "But what about Saint Michael, Gabriel, Luke... Jesus? Don't tell me
hindi 'yun totoo?"
He smiled at me and I was brought back momentarily to that first time that I met him. It's like I
asked something beautiful again.
"Mina, would you believe in something if it doesn't have a name?"
I tried to ponder about his question. Well, would I? "I'm not sure."
"Names are important. They solidify identities. If you don't have a name, then who or what are you?
I'm not saying that they aren't real but they exist even without these names you humans gave them.
You just have this need to give them labels, you know. Maybe it's because you're afraid you'll forget
about them if you have nothing to remember them by."
"We could always remember the things they did in their time," I commented.
He smile widened. "Yes but not all could think like that. Some can still know who the person is by
their deeds even if they have forgotten the name. Some can't. You are differentiated by your depth of
understanding things.
"People use these names to create stereotypes. You're a guy but a girl at heart. You contort your
human nature. So what are you? Then they'll start calling you names like homo or gay. But you know
what bothers me the most? It's not the names they give people but the meaning they put into it. They
make it sound like being gay is a bad thing. They make it sound so demeaning."
"But isn't it a bad thing? Hindi ba at ang sabi sa bible, God created a man and with him, he create
his counterpart, a woman. He didn't create gays."
"He didn't create technology either."
"That's different."
He raised an eyebrow. "How so? It defies nature as well but are you complaining? No. Coffee-makers
make it easier for you to make coffee. Televisions bring your imaginations to life. Cellphones make
communication cheaper and more real-time."
Nawalan na naman ako ng isasagot. Ang hirap nyang kalaban.
"Wala naman sa seven deadly sins ang pagiging bakla, di ba? I'm not saying that I approve of it but I
don't hate it. Humanity is young and it still has a lot to learn. It still needs more time to grow."
"Naku. Kung naririnig ka lang ng mga relihiyoso..."
Natawa sya. "Kapag narinig nila ako, ano'ng mangyayari?" Umiling-iling sya. "What's the use of being
religious if you keep hating on people who are a little different from you? You can't say you love
God if you hate people. If you really believe that you are created in His image and likeness, then
you will not hate others because it would be like you're also hating on Him."
I raised my hands in defeat. "I give up! There's no point in arguing with you."
"But you don't argue to prove that you are right. You argue because you seek to find a common ground,
to listen and understand both sides. You argue to settle your differences. If you will argue just to
assert yourself that you are better than the other, then you have no point in doing so."
"And? Ano pa?"
He chuckled. "Yun lang."
"Nawala na tayo sa original topic natin." Si Silvia 'yung pinag-uusapan namin kanina tapos biglang
napunta sa arguments. Ang layo ng itinalon! "You said something about distracting her. How?"
"Here's the plan..."
I slipped the letter on Silvia's handbag quietly before going to my class. Sa daan, naabutan ko si
Cai na naglalakad.
"Cai!" I called out to her.
"O Mina? Going to your class?"
Tumango ako. "Kumusta 'yung bet nyo?"
She sighed. "Ayun, Silvia's winning na. I guess she's right. Eileen and Jeron are mas bagay compared
to Je Luu and Jeron. And it's easier pa to pair them up."
"So give up ka na?"
"What? Heck, no! Sayang din 'yung roundtrip 'no! I just find it getting more difficult every day."
"Don't worry. Tutulungan kita."
She frowned. "How?"
"Sikreto muna. Hindi ko pa sure kung gagana e."
"Uh-kay? Thanks."
Naghiwalay kami ng daan nang lumiko sya sa kaliwang hallway. Ako naman, nagpatuloy sa paglalakad
hanggang sa makarating ako sa klase ko.
When lunch came, I was expecting Silvia to bombard me with questions but she just sat at the lunch
table, dazed. Ni hindi magawang kumain ng leafy something na nasa plato nya. Cai had to snap her
fingers a few times to bring her back to the cafeteria with us.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Cai asked her.
"Hmm? Wala. Ang ganda ko lang talaga," she said, giggling.
"Friend, may sunog na naman ba sa mental faculty mo?" kunot-noong tanong ni Cai na mukhang alalang-
alala. Ngayon lang ba nya nakitang nagkaganto ang kaibigan nya?
"Huwag mo ngang sirain ang moment ko."
"Mag-moment ka kasi kapag tayo-tayo lang. You're in the middle of a crowded place. For fuck's sake,
people are looking at us na! Snap out of it!"
"Ano ba'ng problema?" tanong ko kay Silvia.
I sensed that my question made her uncomfortable. Of course, it would. The answer involved me. Cupid
told me to try and hook Silvia up with Joseph and since there's really no way for me to do that
without getting awkward with him and all, he told me that he'd help. So the solution he thought of
are letters.
Yes, handwritten letters. Only, Joseph won't write any of them. Cupid will. Akalain mo nga namang isa
sa mga perks nya being himself is that he could copy any handwriting of any person. Galing lang!
He tasked me to slip the letters to Silvia's bag. I know it's kinda evil and I initially feared that
she will ask Joseph about it tapos mabubunyag ako agad but Cupid assured me that he won't. And if he
will, he has plan B. Well, I hope so too.
I followed Silvia's gaze as she looked fixated on something or rather, someone. Joseph was sitting a
few tables away from us. He was eating alone, and rather sourly. Nagkatinginan kami ni Cai and I
immediately knew what she was thinking.
"So may crush ka na kay Joseph ngayon?" mataray na tanong ni Cai.
Pinandilatan sya ni Silvia at saka tumingin sa akin.
"Okay lang, Silvia. It's not like we're together," I assured her.
"But he's your ex. Are you not even bothered?"
"Well, no. If I were, e di sana hindi ako nakipag-break." I smiled at her. "I'm not being heartless.
I just don't see the point why I have to pretend that I'm still affected when I really am not."
She finally smiled after hearing that. "Sure ka ha?"
Tumango ako. "So what is it? May kinalaman ba si Joseph kaya ka nagkakaganyan?"
She giggled like a school girl again and Cai had to roll her eyes several times bago sya kumalma. And
then she went on in telling us about the letter.
"Dear Silvia, first of all, hi. It might come out as a surprise to you that I am writing you a
letter," she quoted. "Well, he's so right. I was so surprised! I thought it was just another letter
from another admirer. He said something about how he finds me pretty daw noon pa. I mean, sure that's
expected but I'm glad he told me that. Akala ko kasi hindi nya napansin ang beauty ko."
"Kaya naman pala kilig na kilig ka," Cai commented.
"Naman! JM 'yun 'te! Artista level!"
"Boses mo oy," saway ko naman.
Napatakip sya ng bibig at sumulyap kay Joseph. At that very moment naman, nakatunghay si Joseph at
nakatingin sa 'min. Agad kaming nagkatinginang tatlo. Si Silvia, pigil na pigil ang ngiti.
"Nakatingin pa ba sya?" tanong nya.
Sumulyap si Cai. "Hindi na. Pwede mo ng tanggalin 'yang buhok mo sa plato."
Silvia straightened herself. "Ang bilis naman nya! Kanina lang may letter tapos ngayon, he's stealing
glances na? Oh my gosh lang! I wonder how long it will take him to start making ligaw?"
"Girl, never assume unless the feeling is personally stated. Don't you think he's just looking at
Mina and not you?"
Tumingin sila sa 'kin pareho. Umiling ako. "No... I think he's really looking at you!"
Pagkauwi ko ng bahay, hinanap ko agad si Cupid. Good thing nandoon sya agad sa kwarto ko. He was
reading a book when I entered my room.
"Cupid?"
"Hm?"
Inilapag ko ang mga gamit ko sa study table at saka ako naupo sa gilid ng kama ko.
"Can you make a letter for Joseph?"

####################################
Chapter 33: Obscure Thoughts
####################################
It's good to have Cupid back. He's my fail-safe. If I did something wrong or irreconcilable, he would
be around to help me get it right. At parang upside na rin na hindi nya naririnig ang kung anumang
nasa isip ko. It's good that he wasn't aware of how uncomfortable his presence makes me.
I don't want to admit that there's something wrong with the way I feel about him. He makes my heart
go wild whenever he's near. And that's not a very good sign. Alam ko kung saan ito pupunta at habang
maaga pa, kailangan ko itong pigilan. It's bad enough that he got me into this situation. My actions
equal consequences far beyond my understanding. It's bad enough that if I fail, I will be as good as
nothing to my fellow humans. I would be invisible to them. I would become a matchmaker but the
yearning to be loved and be with someone would still remain and it would make me miserable.
It's bad enough that he fell for me even though their law states that he can't. It would be worse if
I would fall for him too. It would be the end for both of us.
"Mina, talk. Please. Hindi ako sanay nang tahimik ka," he begged.
Ano naman ang sasabihin ko sa kanya? Ah, right. About the letter. I'll tell him what happened. Sanay
naman akong kinikwento sya tungkol sa nangyayari sa task ko.
"It worked, kinda," simula ko. "Nag-usap sila for the first time. As in 'yong casual. Akala ko nga
mabubuko ako e."
Kumunot ang noo nya as if figuring out what I was talking about. When he figured it out, his mouth
open as is he was about to say 'Ah, that!' Parang hirap pa rin syang mag-adjust. Hirap syang hindi
nya alam lahat ng nasa isip ko. Dati kasi, iniisip ko pa lang, may pangontra na sya. Now, it feels
like we're kind of even. And that actually felt good and fair.
"The letter? Of course, it will work."
"I didn't think they'd buy that. Lalo na si Silvia, ang lakas pa namang makapaghinala ng babaeng
'yon."
"Well, she likes Joseph."
Who doesn't? Kahit naman ako, gusto ko si Joseph, though hindi kasing intense ng pagkagusto ng ilan.
"You guys... want to go out? It's still early," untag ni Psyche sa 'ming dalawa. I grunted. I forgot
she's coming. Did she hear my thoughts earlier?
'Nothing escapes me,' she answered.
I looked away, embarrassed. Having Psyche read my thoughts is not actually better than Cupid doing
it. I mean, they're both angels. And I get judged for it.
"Are you having a mental conversation that I shouldn't know about?" asked Cupid.
Psyche shrugged. "Let's go out. The sky looks so clear today!"
We got out of the house and kept walking until we reached a clearing at the park. It was already
closed by the way. Psyche just held my hand so I would not be seen entering the vicinity. With Cupid
and I not being able to connect physically, he thought it would be best if he would lend Psyche his
abilities, like making me invisible with just a mere hold of hand.
Nang makasigurado kaming walang taong makakakita sa 'min, Psyche started filling me in on why we went
out this time of the night in the first place.
"You need to take a break from all the matchmaking. Cupid's going to show you something...
spectacular!" She grinned widely, as if she knows that I'll enjoy whatever it is Cupid's going to
show me. 'You would!' she added mentally.
Bumulong sya kay Cupid and then the latter turned to me and smiled as wide as she did. "Ready?" he
asked.
"For what?"
He didn't answer that. He just raised his hands up to his chest and started kneading an imaginary
dough in rounds. It reminds me of Goku's superpowers. Pati na rin yung kay Naruto. Yes, my brother
made me watch anime and these two were his favourites.
A flicker of light started appearing in the middle. And as he went on, the light kept on growing
bigger, until it was the size of a tennis ball.
"Wow," I exclaimed. "Teka, baka may makakita."
"No, tayo lang," he assured me.
Pinaglayo nya ng kaunti ang mga kamay nya and the light expanded. It slowly became millions of tiny
little flickers. They're like the stars above our heads. Nakakamangha.
Cupid held his hands further apart, causing the flickers to separate further. And then, he lifted his
hands up abruptly. Para nyang iniaangat yung liwanag. It spread up the trees and lamp posts, like
current electricity surging up. And then when it reached the night sky, hindi na namin ito makita. It
blended with the stars above.
"What was that?" I asked, not hiding any sign that I'm quite impressed.
"Cupid created an illusion of light. Look at the sky. Did it get brighter?" nakangiting tanong ni
Pasyche. I looked up. Yeah, it kinda looks brighter.
"What was that for?" I asked again. "Aside from making the sky look brighter..."
"Wala," Cupid answered with a shrug.
"Wala?"
"Sometimes, we do things for fun."
'I don't but he does... all the time,' Psyche clarified.
I simply smiled at her. Yes, she's the mature one. Si Cupid itong isip-bata. Boyish. But that makes
him endearing and cute. I saw Psyche roll her eyes. Ah... right. My thoughts aren't really private.
'He's reckless, Mina. He's not good for you,' she told me.
I nodded slightly. 'I know, Psyche. Relax, it's just a little crush.'
I heard her chuckle, well, mentally. 'Funny. He said the same thing about you a long time ago and
yet... here we are.'
"Are you talking about me again?" asked Cupid, noting our silence.
"Uuwi na 'ko," I told them. "Maaga pa 'ko bukas."
"Okay." Good thing he didn't push it.
Kinabukasan, si Cai ang kaunahang sumalubong sa 'kin. She was actually waiting for me at the gate and
it looked like she bears good news. She was smiling from ear to ear when she saw me. May development
na kaya kina Je Luu at Jeron?
"Good morning, Mina!" masigla nyang bati sabay yakap sa 'kin.
"Good morning. Mukhang maganda ang gising mo a."
"Not necessarily. Pero maganda ang salubong sa 'kin ng umaga." She leaned closer to whisper "I saw
Krisnel and Jasper together."
Napamulagat ako sa kanya. "Hindi nga?"
She nodded vigorously. "I could not believe it at first. Sabi mo kasi iniiwasan ni Krisnel si Jasper,
di ba? Well, I saw them. I even stared just to make sure I'm not just seeing things."
"Ano'ng itsura nila? Nakangiti ba pareho? Masaya?"
"Si Jasper, oo. Krisnel just looks awkward."
"Pero magkasama?" paninigurado ko.
"Oo nga! I think he was inviting her to eat breakfast. Kaya nga inantay kita e... to tell you the
good news."
It was a very good news! And what a way to start my week! I have to confirm with Psyche later if
there's another heart in the jar. And I hope it's linked to Jasper's. Nae-excite na 'ko!
"Thanks, Cai!"
Sana okay na yung dalawa. Para tatlong pairs na lang!
Nang magsimula ang klase ay dalawang bagay ang agad kong napansin. Una, magkatabi sina Eileen at
Jeron sa upuan. They were conversing animatedly while Je was on the other side of the room, drawing.
It looks like Silvia's winning. I hope not. Sana effective yung letter. Kung hindi man maging
successful na mapag-usap ko sina Joseph at Silvia, at least it would distract the latter from doing
her job of bringing Ei and Jeron.
Ang ikalawang bagay na napansin ko ay ang pagkakatabi sa upuan nina Krisnel at Jasper. Hindi sila
yung tipong daldalan ng daldalan. Pareho silang busy sa paggawa ng kung anu-ano. Though may times na
mag-uusap ang dalawa. Jasper would ask and she would answer. And I didn't even have to do anything.
So what happened? Who should I ask? Psyche? I hope she knows the answer.
Silvia was her usual hyper self at lunch. The only difference is that she's not catty today. Did she
receive another letter from Joseph?
"He talked to me today."
Medyo kinabahan ako sa sinabi nya.
"Who talked to you?" I asked just to make sure.
I saw Cai roll her eyes as she stabbed her crotons with fork. "Joseph did."
Biglang tinapik ni Silvia ang kamay ni Cai. Nalaglag ang tinidor sa pinggan. They both glared at each
other.
"Mang-aagaw ka talaga ng moment!"
"Friend, move on, okay? He just said 'hi'."
"He also smiled at me," depensa ni Silvia.
"He smiles at everyone," pangbabasag naman ni Cai.
"Kay Mina, hindi." Uh-kay. That was uncalled for. Cai elbowed Silvia and the latter smiled
apologetically. "Sorry."
"Okay lang." There's a tinge of hurt but I'm over it. It just gets annoying when people rub it in my
face. I ate my food with gusto. That way, there won't be an urgent need to respond to their every
question, lalo na kapag ayaw kong sagutin. And they were courteous enough to divert the topic. They
started talking about their bet.
There's a play for midterm exams. Kailangan ng lead roles. Sa klase ko, sina Ei at Jeron ang ipinu-
push because they look so good together. I want it to be Je and Jeron but the former was already
assigned for props.
Artistic si Je pero hindi magaling umarte. Saka maliit ito kung itatabi kay Jeron. While Ei had no
knack for artistry, she's good at modelling, singing, dancing and acting and she's also tall. No
wonder Silvia's choice seemed so logical.
Love team material kasi ang dalawa. But I guess that's just human thinking. If I were to ask Psyche
who's fit for whom, she'll answer differently. I've learned that compatibility does not rely on how
your names would sound together or how good you would look together. It's on how you will feel when
you're around each other.
Kumportable ba kayo sa isa't isa? Kinikilig? Kinakabahan? Are you falling deeper every time you see
each other? Kasi when all the external factors jive but it doesn't feel right, it could not be right.
Love should be from the inside out, not from outside in.
I know Cai and Silvia will understand me but it's just hard to overlook the physicality, the
compatibility and all those whatnots.
When I came home, agad kong hinanap ang jar na nalalamnan ng mga pusong nakunekta ko na. I squealed
in delight when I saw a new heart, engraved with Krisnel's name, attached to Jasper's. They were
connected at last! Kung paano nangyari, hindi ko pa rin alam.
Psyche left me a note that she and Cupid won't be around tonight. Simula nang bumalik si Cupid, hindi
na nya hinayaang kami lang dalawa ang magkasama sa isang lugar. I understand her. Mahirap na nga
naman. Baka maulit yung nangyari. Wala pa namang kadala-dala ang lalaking yun. And I also could not
afford to be alone with him anymore.
There's this terrifying feeling inside me that I don't want to nurture dahil alam kong mali. Psyche
was right. It could be 'just a crush' for now pero may tendency itong lumala sa paglipas ng panahon.
Hindi ka naman magigising isang araw na in love ka na sa isang tao. It was a painstakingly slow
process. One must first pass the five stages of connection. And I was already on the first stage.
I shook the thought of my head. I shouldn't be thinking about them right now.
I went to the kitchen to cook dinner for myself. Mukha namang kumakain na naman sa labas yung dalawa
e. Mamaya pa ang shift ni Ate Aly. Si kuya naman, siguradong nakauwi na. So given na mag-a-alas otso
na rin, siguradong nakakain na sila.
It sucks when you have no one around and you're living with your brother and his best friend who also
happened to be his girlfriend. Parang nagkaroon na sila ng sariling mundo. Pero sabagay, dati pa
naman. Only now, it was more intense. Kasi ang friendship, nadagdagan pa.
Tinawagan ko si Kuya nang mag-alas onse na. May balak pa kayang umuwi yung dalawa?
Napakunot ang noo ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Kuya. He sounded drunk.
"Kuya? Lasing ka ba?"
"Mina..."
Was he crying?
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I asked her to marry me." Humalakhak si Kuya. Yung bahaw na tawa. Something's not right.
"And?"
"She said no."

####################################
Chapter 34: Answers
####################################
Iyak ng iyak si Kuya nang sunduin ko sya. He was drunk out of his wits. I've never seen him so
devastated. Na para bang namatayan sya. Siguro ganito sya sa lahat ng naging past relationships nya.
Kapag kasi nakikipagbreak sa kanya ang babae, nagkukulong lang sya sa kwarto ng ilang araw. Lalabas
lang kapag pupunta ng CR o kukuha ng pagkain.
But drunk and crying in public? It's like he's letting the world know that he was hurting. Siya pa
naman yung tipo ng tao na hindi nagpapakita ng luha. Ayaw nya kasing kinakaawaan sya. He learned how
to hold back his tears a long time ago. Kahit noong mga bata pa kami, hindi sya umiiyak. Para sa
kanya, kahinaan ang pag-iyak.
Pero nagawa syang paiyakin ni Ate Aly using just one word. Wow. Who'd have thought that little words
like yes and no have such devastating effects?
"Kuya, baka naman kasi hindi pa sya ready."
"Hindi pa sya ready? E tangina nya lang! Buong buhay namin magkasama na kami tapos kasal lang, hindi
pa sya ready?"
"Kuya, kahit naman magkasama na kayo mula pagkabata, may mga bagay pa rin na kailangang paghandaan
bago kayo ikasal. Baka naman nabigla lang si Ate Aly..."
"Parinig sya ng parinig tungkol sa kasal na yan tapos nang totohanin ko, saka sya aayaw? Gago ba
sya?" paghuhuramentado nya.
"Alam mo, lasing ka lang. Gusto mo ng kape para mahimasmasan ka?"
"Ayaw ko ng kape! Tanginang kape yan..."
Pati kape nadamay? Sabagay, sa Starbucks nga pala nagtatrabaho si Ate Aly. I guess even the smallest
of things could connote pain. Kapag in love ka, little things matter. Parang nagiging high definition
lahat. Kahit pagtawa, pagnguya o yung way ng paghawak ng ballpen, tumatatak sa isip natin kapag
importante yung tao. At kapag nasaktan nila tayo, lahat ng bagay na makapagpapaalala sa kanila sa
atin ay nagiging instrumento ng sakit.
And she gave him so much to remember. Every childhood memory ni Kuya, nandoon si Ate Aly. Their lives
were so intertwined, so tangled, that the only way to get rid of one is to cut off both.
"Kuya, don't worry. Babalik din yun kapag nakaget-over na sya sa gulat," I told him, hoping to give
him comfort kahit ako mismo ay nagwo-worry. Naiintindihan ko rin naman si Ate Aly. Ilang buwan pa
lang sila. Usually, taon ang binibilang ng isang relasyon bago mag-propose ang lalaki sa isang babae.
Kahit pa sabihing buong buhay nila, magkakilala na sila, syempre hindi pa rin nila kilalang masyado
ang isa't isa on a romantic level.
Hindi nga naman dapat minamadali ang kasal. Sana huwag panghinaan ng loob si Kuya.
I managed to calm him down with sleeping pills. He was almost dozing off, anyway. Nilagyan ko ng
pampatulog yung juice nya since ayaw nya ng kape. I let him sleep on the couch while I check on the
hearts on the jar.
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makitang tatlong pares pa rin iyon. Clearly, the rejection didn't cause
the connection to break. May pag-asa pa. Siguro ay pagsubok lang ito sa kanilang dalawa.
I continued on my manuscript after tending to my brother. It was almost finished. Pero habang
sinusulat ko ito, there's this tingling sensation on my fingers. Like they were feeling the emotions
of the story, the reverberating feelings inside my heart... I wanted to make it a happy ending.
Magkakatuluyan sila.
We go for books and movies to escape the sad reality. Kapag kasi sa mga libro o mga sine, kadalasang
masaya. Parang nagiging hopeful tuloy tayo. Kaya tumataas din ang ideals natin e. Masyado tayong
nagpapapaniwala sa fiction. Kadalasan naman, hindi ito totoo.
But still, you can't help but feed the hopeless romantic in you. Kaya masarap mag-day dream. Masayang
mangarap. Dahil doon, walang bawal. Lahat ng gusto mo, nasusunod. Libre lang namang mangarap, di ba?
It was a nice-no, almost achingly beautiful-notion that two creatures, different in all levels, found
each other and fell in love. And it was sad that they won't get their happy ending no matter how much
deserving we think they are of it.
Why did I want to have my happy ending with him, anyway? Noong una pa lang, sinabi ko na sa sarili ko
na huwag akong magpapadala dahil kahit saan ko naman tingnan, hindi talaga pwede. So what changed?
Bakit biglang naging apektado ako sa kanya? Bakit tuwing iniisip kong hindi kami pwede, nagiging
miserable ako bigla?
As I typed in the ending of my story, hindi ko na napigilang maiyak. Siguro nga, sa kwento lang kami
pwedeng mabuhay nang walang nalalabag na batas. Siguro nga, hanggang sa kwento lang pwedeng mangyari
yung happy ending naming dalawa.
Pero at least, kahit sa kwento man lang... nangyari.
Binasa ko ulit yung buong kwento. It has almost one hundred thousand words. Inabot ako ng umaga
kakabasa at kakaiyak. May pasok pa ako but I didn't feel like going. Wala nga lang akong magandang
excuse kaya hindi pwedeng umabsent.
Pagkatapos ko itong basahin, I sent it to my editor. Gising pa rin si Raice. Nakapag-reply sya agad
sa 'kin e. She said she'd read the story and then gagawa sya ng rough draft nung story based on her
understanding. Iha-highlight nya yung tingin nya e fillers lang at pwede nang tanggalin.
Yun ang madalas naming pagtalunan e. Syempre nga naman, bilang manunulat, ayaw mong mababawasan yung
kwentong ginawa mo. Para sa 'yo kasi, lahat ng salita doon ay mahalaga. But the editor thinks
differently. Syempre nasa thinking nila yung magiging final outcome. Ano ang relevance ng ganitong
scene sa kwento?
Sabi ko sa kanya, i-email nya na lang ako when she's done ripping my story apart. Tapos ay natulog na
ako.
I woke up feeling so tired. Kulang na kulang ako sa tulog. Ang sakit pa ng mata ko dahil sa pag-iyak
ko kaninang madaling-araw. But I have no time to sleep some more so naligo ako agad para mawala ang
antok ko. With puffy, red eyes, I headed to school. Medyo alangan pa akong iwanan si kuya pero hindi
talaga ako pwedeng umabsent. Malapit na ang midterm exams. Saka malaki na si kuya. Siguro naman wala
syang gagawing katangahan. Sana.
Speaking of midterm exams, may play pa pala kami na involved sina Jeron at Eileen. Well, the whole
class is involved. Lahat sila ay may kanya-kanyang roles na dapat gampanan. Hinayaan ko na silang
makapag-practice for their upcoming play.
Kapansin-pansin pa rin ang closeness nina Jeron at Eileen. Sabagay, sila naman kasi ang lead ng play.
Natural lang na madalas silang magkausap at magkasama. Hindi nga lang maganda ang epekto nito sa task
ko.
Ang hirap din kasi. Ang hirap sirain ng isang masayang relasyon kahit alam mo naman na hindi rin
magtatagal at maghihiwalay din sila... dahil hindi sila para sa isa't isa. Kung hindi naman nila alam
ang alam ko, lalabas lang akong match-wrecker, hindi matchmaker.
But how can I make them realize the future complications their present closeness will bring? Hindi ko
rin alam.
With a sigh, I shifted my gaze to Krisnel and Jasper, who were busily making some props on one
corner. Nagulat talaga ako nang malaman kong konektado na silang dalawa. Ano'ng nangyari? Bakit
bigla-bigla silang nagkaayos?
I know that this will happen soon but not this fast. I know Krisnel has a lot of reservations and
Jasper was almost on the verge of giving up. So what changed?
Pasimple akong lumapit sa kanila to check up on them. Masaya silang nagkikwentuhan, oblivious of
their surroundings. Parang may sarili silang mundo na sila lang ang nagkakarinigan.
I sat on the chair next to them and immediately noticed the open book on Jasper's lap.
"Ano'ng book 'yan?" tanong ko sa kanya.
He folded the book and showed me the cover. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher.
"Maganda?"
Sabay silang tumango.
"Sabi nya ma'am, maganda... kaya binasa ko. Okay naman," sagot ni Jasper.
"So... nag-uusap na pala ulit kayo..."
Nagyuko agad ng ulo si Krisnel. Ngumiti naman si Jasper. "Medyo po."
"That's good to know."
"Natakot kasi sya ma'am," natatawang sabi ni Jasper.
"Saan naman?"
Sinipa ni Krisnel yung binti nya. She clearly didn't want him to answer that.
"Basahin nyo na lang 'to, ma'am," he answered while holding up the book. I made a mental note to buy
that book later.
Tinawagan ko si Kuya nang matapos ang klase ko. Sobrang nag-panic ako nang makasampung tawag na yata
ako e hindi pa rin sya sumasagot. Buti na lang, sa 11th call ko, sinagot na ni kuya. Kakagising pa
lang nya. Grabe.
Well, at least he's still alive.
Nang mag-uwian ay dumiretso ako sa mall para bumili nung libro. I badly needed sleep. Antok na antok
pa rin ako. But I really want to know the reason why they were close again, those two. Kasama kaya sa
reasons yun?
Sa Fullybooked ako nakakita noong libro. Pupunta na sana ako sa cashier nang may maulinigan akong mga
pamilyar na boses.
"Huwag ka ngang sunod ng sunod!" came a high-pitched voice.
"Hindi kita sinusundan. Nagkataon lang na pareho tayo ng pupuntahan." Kalmado yung boses ng lalaki,
pero may pagkairita pa rin.
Mula sa aisle na pinipwestuhan ko, nakita ko si Karen na lumabas mula sa kaliwa papunta sa bandang
kanan ng bookstore. Biglang sumulpot itong si Bryan mula sa pinanggalingan ni Karen tapos ay sumunod
ito sa kanya.
Huh.
What's with those two? When I first saw them, halos mapatay na ni Karen si Bryan. Noong pangalawang
beses naman, she was cold with him. Ngayon, mataray pa rin sya pero hindi ko maisip kung bakit
magkasama sila sa isang place. Point is, they hated each other's guts.
Could it be that underneath all those hatred, they really care for each other?
"O? Bakit sumunod ka na naman?"
"Wala kasi dun yung hinahanap ko."
"So? Ang lawak-lawak ng bookstore e! Sa iba kang aisle maghanap!"
Gusto kong matawa. Hindi ko alam kung clueless itong si Karen o sadyang ini-ignore lang yung
possibility na nananadya itong si Bryan. Maybe she knew. Maybe they both know. And maybe they both
want it. It's just that past occurrences and guilt made them wary.
Magkaaway sila e. They've established that already. But that was in the past. Kahit ano'ng gawin
nila, hindi na nila maibabalik yung dati. Yes, they might hurt someone else along the way but that's
life. You can't proceed with your decisions without affecting anybody, in a good or bad way. Asahan
mo nang may mga gusto kang sasalungat sa gusto ng iba. Na kahit anong iwas mo, may masasaktan ka.
Kahit anong bait mo, may magsasabi pa ring masama ka.
So how can you go on with your life dodging all these? You can't. There is only one way and that is
straight ahead. Kapag may babangga sa 'yo, take the blow and move on. Wala namang flawless na daan e.
Sana ma-realize nila yun. They will only keep on hurting if they would keep on sparing other people's
feelings.
May mga tao talagang kailangang masaktan para sumaya ang iba. May masasaktan talaga para sumaya
silang dalawa. Hindi rin naman kasi nila masasabi na sasaya na lahat kapag naging miserable sila.
There are just some things that are meant for them... like each other.
If they will keep avoiding that fact, they will just hurt themselves and other people along the way.
But who am I to preach? Hindi ko anman napagdadaanan ang pinagdadaanan nila. Still, hindi rin nila
nakikita ang mga nakikita ko.
I paid for the book and headed home. Ipinagluto ko muna ng makakain si kuya. He was still such a
mess. Nakaupo lang sya sa sahig, kaharap ang pader. Nakatunganga. Well, at least he ate his dinner.
Nagpalit ako ng damit, kumain at saka sumalampak sa kama para magsimulang magbasa. I'm not
complaining that Krisnel and Jasper are now okay. Gusto ko lamang malaman kung paano nangyari iyon.
Maybe I could apply the same thing to my other prospects.
I started reading the book. Parang nagmo-monologue yung nagkikwento. It started out with this guy,
Clay, talking about a package. Isang box ng sapatos na naglalaman ng mga cassette tapes. Ipapadeliver
na nya ito.
It was kind of creepy at the beginning. May mga napanuod na kasi akong horror films na may mga
ganyan, cassette or video. Kagaya na lang ng Sinister. Shaking the thought off, I proceeded.
By midnight, hindi na kinaya ng mata ko. Halos mangalahati na ako sa libro. Grabe. Kakaiba nga sya.
Kapag nasimulan mo na, parang ayaw mo nang bitawan. Hannah Baker's character was kind of petty, if
you'll only consider that side of her.
Parang kahit kaliit-liitang bagay, binibigyan nya ng kahulugan. Konting pagkakamali ng tao sa kanya
na pwede naman nyang hindi pansinin, kinikimkim nya. And now she blames them for her death, or the
cause of it.
And yet, hindi ko rin mapigilang mamangha at mapatango sa mga sinabi nya. Aminado syang malilit na
bagay nga lang yung mga ginawa nila pero kahit pala ang kaliit-liitang bagay para sa 'yo, malaki rin
ang pwedeng maging epekto sa ibang tao.
I started to sympathize with her. It's not that they have done her grave things. In fact, talagang
maliliit lang na bagay ang ginawa nila. Pero para syang avalanche.
Lakasan mo lang ng kaunti ang boses mo, may piraso ng snow na malalaglag mula sa itaas ng bundok.
You'd think na wala lang yan. Maliit lang naman yan e. Hindi pa nakamamatay. Pero kapag nagsimula na
itong mag-slide pababa ng bundok, doon ka na matatakot.
She mentioned that on one of the cassettes. Snowball effect.

Ang mga maliliit na bagay, kapag pinagsama-sama mo, makakabuo rin ng malaking bagay. That's what
happened to her.
I put down the book before I could turn another page. I set the alarm at six, determined to read a
few page before going to school.
Kinabukasan, sa sobrang excitement ko yatang matapos ang libro, nagising ako five minutes before the
alarm. I didn't waste any time. Bumangon ako agad, naghanda ng almusal at naligo. After taking a
bath, hinanap ko si kuya. Wala kasi sya sa sala.
I searched the whole apartment. Wala si kuya. Inimpis ko na lang ang latag na iniwan nya sa sala.
Nang ipagpag ko yung latag, may nalaglag na papel. Agad ko iyong kinuha at binasa ang nakasulat.
MINA, UMUWI AKO. -KUYA
Dahil wala si kuya, binaon ko na lang yung sobrang pagkain. Inagahan ko na rin ang pasok para
makapagbasa ako. Kung ano man ang gagawin nya dun, sana maging okay ang outcome. Siguro ito yung
naging resulta ng maghapon nyang pagtitig sa pader kahapon.
I wasn't really worried. Not when I knew na hindi nasira ng pagtanggi ni Ate Aly sa proposal ni kuya
ang koneksyon nila. There's still hope.
Dumating ako sa school, with almost an hour to spare before my first class. I picked up where I left
off on the book and was easily pulled back inside the story. Habang kinikwento ni Hannah yung mga
ginawa nung mga naunang tao sa kanya which made her commit suicide, naging anxious ako para kay Clay.
He kept on asking himself what he could possibly done to be in that list.
Kasi yung mga nauna, puro hindi magaganda ang ginawa kay Hannah. He seemed like a nice guy so parang
ayoko ring malaman yung ginawa nyang masama, kung meron man.
But when his turn came, naiyak ako. His part was the most painful because it was the most
regrettable. Because he could have done something but he didn't. It's not that he didn't want to
help. She just didn't let him.
Akala kasi ni Hannah, sinukuan na sya ng lahat. Na lahat sila, nagpadala sa sabi-sabi tungkol sa
kanya. All along, Clay wanted to talk to her. He wanted to be with her. Habang si Hannah naman,
patuloy na nakikisalamuha sa mga maling tao.
And when that one night came, they could have done something. Sinabi nya sana para natulungan sya ni
Clay. But she pushed him away. Nagsisi rin si Clay because when she told him to go, he left her.
Is this why Krisnel finally opened her heart to Jasper? Because she didn't want to have any regrets?
"O? Bakit umiiyak ka dyan?" kunot-noong tanong ni Cai.
"Wala. Nakakaiyak lang kasi 'tong book na 'to." I showed her the book I was almost finished reading.
"Ay oo, maganda nga yan. Saang part ka na?"
"Kay Clay."
"Ang saklap 'no?" She gave me a tight smile.
Tumango naman ako. "Sobra. Alam mo yung may magagawa pa pero nag-give up na sila agad?
Nakakapanghinayang!"
"Ganun talaga, girl. Hindi naman kasi lahat ng pwedeng magawan ng paraan e ginagawan ng paraan. May
mga bagay kasing ang sarap-sarap sukuan."
"Hugot, 'te?" singit naman ni Silvia. She then turned to me. Glowing na naman sya ngayon. Maybe she
received another love letter from Joseph. Nakakainggit. I mean, nakakainggit kasi may sumusulat sa
kanya. Pangarap ko yan e. Ang mabigyan ng love letter. Kaso walang gumawa nyan para sa akin. "Mina,
fix yourself. Your class will start any moment na."
She's right. Class will start in five.
Nagpahid na ako ng luha at nag-ayos ng sarili. It's been a while since may isang istoryang nagpaiyak
sa 'kin, bukod dun sa sinulat ko. Masakit sa puso and at the same time, you felt relieved because you
got to cry.
Nakakagaan kasi ng pakiramdam ang pag-iyak.
'At kung hindi mo pipigilan ang sarili mo, marami ka pang beses na iiyak. Stop it while you can,
Mina.'
'Psyche? Where are you?'
'I'm outside.'
Tumingin ako sa bintana. She was standing outside, waving her hand at me. I was kinda expecting to
see Cupid next to her but I was disappointed. He wasn't there.
'We need to limit your interaction with him.'
'I know.' Alam ko naman kung bakit. Out of sight, out of mind. Yan ang motto ng mga gustong mag-move
on o ng mga ayaw lumala ang feelings para sa isang tao.
'Papasok na 'ko,' I said to her before getting out of the faculty room.
Out of sight, out of mind... but what if he resides in your heart, not in your mind? How do you get
rid of that?
Makalipas ang maghapon, I went home and resigned myself to bed. Sa katamaran kong magluto, hindi na
rin ako kumain. Dumiretso na lang ako sa kwarto para magbasa ng kaunti tapos ay matutulog na ako.
Naupo ako doon sa may ulunan ng higaan, sa tabi ng lampshade, para kumportable ang pagbabasa.
That's when I noticed a folded paper on the table.
Dear Mina,
Psyche told me that you wanted to receive a love letter so I wrote you one...
I felt my cheeks immediately heat up. Galing kay Cupid ang sulat. Why did Psyche tell him that? Akala
ko ba mini-minimize nya ang interaction naming dalawa, bakit nya ito pinasulat sa 'kin? Nalilito na
'ko!
'Psyche, you're killing me!' I grunted.
I heard her chuckle from somewhere. 'You're welcome.'

####################################
Chapter 35: Agony and Bliss
####################################
You were just as confused as I am. Si Psyche na mismo ang humaharang sa ating dalawa pero bakit niya
ito ginawa? I'm not sure, Mina. I can't get inside her head.
I have my own theories though. I'm sure you have them too.
Masarap kasi ang bawal, hindi ba? And Psyche can somehow feel the longing. She can't stand it. Ayaw
niyang makita akong nahihirapan. It's like she's providing me a relief from pain.
You might get concerned about her. Baka ma-reprimand sya dahil sa ginagawa nya. Well, I don't think
so. She's not necessarily crossing any boundaries here. And I know she wouldn't. She's not like me.
Alam nya kung kailan dapat tumigil. Ako, hindi.
Anyway, how's your task? I wish I could help you further. But I can't. Hanggang ganito lang ako. Si
Psyche na lamang ang inaasahan kong tutulong sa 'yo. That's all we can offer-help. That's all you
could give also. The rest will have to come from your prospects. They should have the willingness to
love and connect.
Bawal ang sapilitan, remember?
I miss you, Mina. Sometimes, I couldn't help myself. I sneak out, when Psyche's busy somewhere else,
to see you. Gustong-gusto kitang lapitan but I know that doing so will only make matters worse.
Kinukuntento ko na lang ang sarili ko sa pagtingin sa 'yo mula sa malayo. (I hope this won't creep
you out)
I just wish that I could somehow let you know that I'm around... whenever I'm around. I wanted to see
how you would react. Are you missing me too, Mina? I hope you're thinking of me from time to time. At
the very least, we're friends, right?
Psyche told me that you have finished your story. How did it end? Can you tell me?
Nagkatuluyan ba sila?
Nagkatuluyan ba tayo?
Tayo namang dalawa ang bida dun, di ba? I knew ever since you started writing that story. You might
say that you were just inspired but I know better. You do feel the same, right? Or maybe you're just
starting to. Either way, I'm glad.
Write to me, will you? Gusto kong kahit sa sulat man lang, may kuneksyon pa rin tayong dalawa.
Missing you,
Cupid
P.S. I hope you liked the roses I left on your pillow.
Agad akong napatingin sa unan ko. Wala namang roses. Niloloko yata ako nito e.
"I took the roses."
"Psyche!"
She's standing near the open window.
"Did you like his letter?"
Tumango ako. What's the sense of denying it anyway? She already knew what I was thinking.
"If I reply to his letter, will you give it to him?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
She smiled. "Why not?"
"Akala ko ba... hindi kami pwedeng mag-interact?"

"Physically, yes, you can't. But I don't see any harm in writing to each other."
"Hindi ka ba nagwo-worry na baka lalong lumala?"
"Malala na, Mina. Hindi na mapipigilan." Lumapit sya sa akin at saka iniabot ang tatlong tangkay ng
rosas. "You were already in love. It can't be helped anymore."
I laughed at the absurdity of the thought. Me, in love with Cupid? Ilang buwan pa lamang kaming
magkakilala. Crush pa, oo. Pero in love? That's impossible.
"You will never feel the pain until you hit the ground, Mina."
"Don't get ahead of things, Psyche. I still can stop it."
"Can you really?" She shook her head. "We'll see about that."
And then she vanished.
The house felt so empty. Hindi na ako sanay nang wala sina kuya. Ngayong mag-isa na ulit ako at
bihira ko lang makita sina Psyche at Cupid, malungkot pala. I never thought I was this alone until
they came into my life.
Hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko yung sinabi ni Psyche. She didn't believe when I said that what I'm
feeling for Cupid is just a mere crush and not love. Even though she's an angel, I sure know myself
better than her. Ako 'to e. Puso ko 'to. Kung ano ang totoong nararamdaman nito, ako dapat ang
pinakaunang makakaalam.
And yet... what's that about falling and crashing on the ground? Totoo bang hindi mo malalaman
hanggat wala pa talaga? Na kapag nandyan na, saka ka lang makakasigurado?
What does she have in mind? Kailangan ko bang masubok para makasigurado ako?
With so many things happening all at the same time, the last thing I needed is another complication.
And when it's quiet around me, mas lalo kong naiisip ang mga ito. I need to get these things off my
mind. So I had to surround myself with people.
Araw-araw akong naging tambay ng Glorietta. At madalas kong puntahan ang Fullybooked. Nakikibasa ako
ng mga nakabukas nang libro. Kapag nagustuhan ko, bibilhin ko. I need to make another novel to de-
stressify-a word I invented out of boredom.
Pagsusulat ang pangtanggal ko ng stress sa katawan, though my novels were quite stressful to write
and read. Yung una kong librong ipinasa kay Raice, muntik nya nang ibato sa mukha ko. Surang-sura
kasi sya sa ending. Hindi kasi nagkatuluyan ang mga bida.
Well, bumawi naman ako sa pangalawa. Sana lang, walang masyadong matanggal na scenes.
Speaking of Raice, bigla-bigla na lang syang tumawag.
"Raice!" bati ko sa kanya.
"Mina!"
It sounded like she was crying.
"O, bakit?"
"Y-Yung Karmic Hearts!"
"Bakit? Ano'ng meron sa Karmic Hearts?"
"Wala lang... naiiyak lang ako."
"Adik," natatawa kong sabi. Akala ko naman kung ano na. Nakakaiyak ba talaga? Well, I cried too. But
that's just because I was happy they ended up together.
"Kaso yung ending..."
"Ano'ng problema sa ending?"
"Feeling ko kasi mas maganda kapag tragic."
I grunted. Not you too, Raice. I made it happy on purpose. Bakit kasi allergic sa happy ending ang
editor ko?
"Mas gusto ko kasing happy ending."
"Pero naiisip ko kasi, hindi sila magkakatuluyan and then later on, may magugustuhang iba si girl,
tao na. Kasi it's not the end of the world naman kapag hindi nagkatuluyan yung original na bida e. In
the first place naman, it's implausible."
"Kaya nga fiction, di ba?" depensa ko.
"Mina, sa dami ng fictional stories ngayon, yours won't really stand out. Parang fairy tale kasi e.
Marami sa mga readers ngayon ang gusto e realistic. Yung hindi sila papaasahin."
"Raice, marami pa rin naman ang hopeless romantic sa mundo. Marami pa ring umaasa sa happy endings na
yan mula sa mga libro dahil hindi sila makaranas ng ganyan sa realidad nila." Katulad ko. I sighed.
No, Mina... you're not included in that bunch. "You know what? I'll think about it."
"Are you okay? Suggestion lang naman yun."
"Pag-iisipan ko, Raice. I'll let you know as soon as possible."
"Okay. Thanks, Mina."
I ended the call and put the books back to the shelf. Mga fictional books yung pinagkukuha ko kanina.
Nabasa ko na yung mga reviews tungkol sa mga istoryang iyon sa Goodreads. Lahat ay may happy ending.
Nagbabagong buhay na nga ako e. Plano ko nang gawan ng happy endings ang mga kwentong isusulat ko
pero dahil sa sinabi ni Raice... naisipan kong bumili na lang ng mga librong masakit sa puso ang
endings.
Yung parang Thirteen Reasons Why...
I managed to find two books na hindi nagkatuluyan ang mga bida. Binasa ko na yung ending para
sigurado akong tragic or hindi mala-fairy tale ang sasapitin ng mga bida. But just as I was about to
pay for the books, I happened to look outside the store. Kitang-kita ko mula sa loob ang pag-ambon sa
labas. What's unusual about this drizzle is that some drops were like suspended in the air, twirling
on their own.
Like magic...
And across the street from where I was, there he stood. Donned in his usual fedora hat, shirt with
rolled up sleeves, vest and jeans, he was smiling from ear to ear, both hands in his pockets.
You will never feel the pain until you hit the ground, she said. You will never know that you're
holding your breath until you gasp for air. You will never know that time had stopped until you
realized you're not moving.
But do these things guarantee that one's already in love? What if they're just caught up in a moment?
He wasn't moving. He was just looking ahead, to me. And I just felt chilly all of a sudden. Hindi ko
alam kung kakawayan ko ba sya, lalapitan o hindi papansinin. Ano ba dapat?
"Miss? Nakapila ka ba?" tanong ng nasa likod ko.
Umalis ako sa pila saka umiling. "Una na po kayo." Tumingin ulit ako sa labas, half-expecting him to
disappear but he was still there, still standing... still smiling. Inaantay ba nya ako?
"Bata pa po ako," natatawang kumento noong kasunod ko sa pila. Napatingin tuloy ako. Nakangiti si
kuyang naka-beanie na kulay gray. Nakasalamin ito. With his getup, naalala ko si Leonard from The Big
Bang Theory. He just looks cuter.
"Sorry," I gave him a quick smile saka ako pumila sa likuran nya. But then, he got of the line and
motion me to go ahead and pay for my books. I saw the cashier roll her eyes. Naiinip na yata sa 'ming
dalawa.
I went ahead and paid for my books. Sumulyap ulit ako sa labas. Hindi na umaambon. He was still there
though he wasn't smiling anymore.
Lumabas ako ng Fullybooked. Lalapitan ko sya.
"Miss!"
I grunted. That guy again.
"Yes?"
Ngumiti ulit ito. He held out his hand. "I'm Rafael."
"Mina," pakilala ko.
"Pauwi ka na?"
Tumango ako. Cupid wasn't smiling anymore. He's getting jealous. Ugh. Hindi ko naman ginustong
lapitan ako nitong lalaking 'to.
"Oh, what do we have here? Interesting..."
'Psyche!'
Psyche grinned at me then she mouthed sorry to Cupid.
'Are you behind this?'
"Ganun ba?" Medyo nagulat ako nang marinig kong nagsalita si Rafael. Hindi pa pala ito umaalis. "Have
you eaten?"
I rolled my eyes. Di tayo close, kuya.
Psyche laughed. "Sungit!"
"Hindi pa," sagot ko kay Rafael.
"Would you like to have dinner with me? My treat," he offered.
Uhm, no?
"Pumayag ka na. Free dinner din yun!" Ang awkward kaya. Nasa kabilang kalye lang si Cupid. But why
does it matter anyway? Pero hindi nga ako kumportable. It felt like cheating on him. "Don't mind
him."
"Yeah, don't mind me. Just pretend I'm not here," Cupid added glumly. Hindi ko agad namalayang
nakatawid na pala sya.
"Okay lang kung ayaw mo. Nakakaabala yata ako," said Rafael.
"No, okay lang," sagot ko kay Rafael.
"Great! Where do you want to eat?"
"Kahit saan."
Kahit saan. Kapag tatanungin ka ng kasama mo kung saan mo gustong kumain, be specific. Dahil mahirap
hanapin ang kahit saan. Mga fifteen minutes din kaming nag-ikot-ikot bago mag-settle sa KFC na
tatlong beses naming dinaanan. Tapos ang dami pang tao so it took us another fifteen minutes to get
settled.
Rafael told me that his sister have my book and he recognized me earlier dahil sa picture ko doon sa
libro. Humimngi pa nga ito ng autograph sa 'kin tapos nag-selfie pa kami.
He asked if he could ask me out again. What am I to do? Cupid and Psyche are just a few tables away.
Ang sama-sama na ng mood ni Cupid kanina pa. I don't like it when he's being jealous. I don't want
him to get upset. He's been through a lot already.
'Yes. What's another heartache, right?'
'Psyche...'
'Mina, relax. He knows from the beginning that this could happen. He has no choice but to give way.'
"Okay," wala sa loob kong sabi.
"Okay?" paninigurado ni Rafael. He smiled. "Are you sure?"
I smiled too. "Yeah, why not?"
"Great. Can I bring my sister? The three of us could watch a movie or something."
"Sige."
So I've got a date with a fangirl's brother and a jealous matchmaker on the side. Ah, life. I never
thought it could be this exciting.
The next day is another day of practice. Since ang pa-midterm ko e isang play, hinayaan ko na lang na
gugulin nila ang oras ko sa pagpapractice ng play nila. There's still no progress with Je Luu and
Jeron. The latter is closer with Eileen, who happened to be Je's best friend.
Parang hindi ko na nga nakikita yung tatlo na magkakasama. Mabuti pa dati, kasi at least sila-sila
ang magkakasama. Ngayon, bumukod na yung dalawa at itong si Je, naiwang mag-isa.
Yan ang mahirap kapag nagkaka-love interest ang isang kaibigan e. Lalo na kapag dadalawa lang kayo
tapos sya meron, ikaw wala. Parang third wheel ang nagiging labas mo.
But the sad thing is, hindi naman ni Eileen alam yung feelings ni Je. I think it was not disclosed
because the latter perfers to hide it. Does it count as selfishness kung hindi mo naman alam na
nakakasakit ka ng ibang tao?
Within a few months, I managed to get lolo RB and Lola Ghen back together before they die (may they
rest in peace), kuya's eyes were finally opened (he even asked her to marry him!) and Krisnel and
Jasper were finally able to get through their fears (but they say they were still just friends).
I have three more! And I have less than six months left.
I slumped back to bed after a whole day of stressful work and thinking. I spread out my arms and
closed my eyes... then I opened them again when I felt something on my pillow. It's another letter.
This time though, hindi na sya nobela.
Isang sentence lang.
No matter who you meet and fall for, just remember that I loved you first. -C
####################################
Chapter 36: Out of Bounds
####################################
Dear Cupid,
It was just dinner. Don't freak out. It's not as if-
I crumpled the paper and threw it on the trash can. Pangatlong sulat ko na 'to pero ni hindi pa ako
makabuo ng isang paragraph.
He wrote to me again last night and I woke up so early to write a reply. Akalain mo nga namang
mahirap palang magsulat ng love letter, lalo na kung hindi naman kayo nung sinusulatan mo. Parang
kailangan mong timplahin ng tama ang sulat mo para hindi ka mag-appear na masyadong needy at clingy
and at the same time, ayaw mo namang magmukhang distant.
Ayaw ko rin namang mamisinterpret nya yung sulat ko. Baka umasa sya sa mga bagay na hindi ko pwedeng
ibigay sa kanya. Like my heart, for instance. Hindi ko naman ipinagdadamot. Sadyang hindi lang
pwedeng ibigay.
P.S. Why aren't you replying to me?
Napasabunot ako sa buhok ko. It's easy for him to find something to write. He's very open with his
feelings! E, ako? Hindi ko alam kung saan ako lulugar! Yes, I like him and no, it can't happen.
Nakakainis dahil may mga bagay sa mundo na gustong-gusto mong gawin pero hindi naman pwede.
Dear Cupid, I wrote again. Rafael is just a friend. No, okay-an acquaintance. Ang defensive namang
pakinggan. Itinapon ko ulit yung sulat. Mag-scratch paper kaya ako? Ang dami ko nang naaaksayang
parchment paper.
Dear Cupid, I'm doing well. Thanks for asking. About Rafael-
"Dear Cupid, Rafael is just a friend..."
Napamulagat ako nang marinig ko ang boses nya. He was sitting near the trash can, reading the letter
aloud.
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito? And don't read that!"
He looked amused. "Why not? I'm going to read it later, anyway."
"I'm not going to give that to you." Gusto kong agawin sa kanya ang sulat pero ingat na ingat ako.
Psyche told me, grimly, that there could be no physical contact between me and Cupid. She won't
tolerate it. "What are you doing here?" pag-uulit kong tanong kay Cupid.
"Nainip ako sa kakahintay ng reply mo e," sagot nya.
"Eto na nga o, sinusulat ko na."
"Sabihin mo na lang sa 'kin." He smirked.
Umiling ako. "I don't want to. It's embarrassing."
"Embarrassing?" His eyebrow arched. "Why? Masyado bang cheesy?"
My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. I'm just very thankful to God that Cupid could not read my mind.
Baka pati sya, malito sa kalituhan ko.
"It's not. It's just-" I sighed. "Never mind."
"Tell me," he said as he took a step towards me.
Pinandilatan ko sya. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I'm fully healed, Mina." Humakbang sya ulit.
Napasapo ako. "Hindi ka ba marunong magtanda?!"
"What's the use of being alive if you're not living it?"
"Can't you fully grasp the grave consequence of what you're thinking of doing? For God's sake, Cupid,
you could die!" Biglang lumungkot ang mukha nya. "Para rin naman sa ikabubuti mo ang ginagawa kong
pag-iwas," dagdag ko.
"Hindi talaga lahat ng mabuti, masayang gawin. Just like how some medicines taste nasty," sabi nya.
"Pero gagaling ka naman. Kesa kapag inuubo ka na nga tapos kumain ka pa ng ice cream. Di ba, lalala
lang ang ubo mo?"
"Still... it's worth the pain, right?"
Umurong ako nang umurong habang tuloy-tuloy naman syang lumapit. He poised for a hug and I had to
shut my eyes. I don't want to see what's going to happen to him again.
I could feel him near me. It's like the atmosphere got a lot warmer. The air became heavier. It's
like everything went still. And then I felt a force envelop me. Mula paa hanggang ulo, binabalot ako.
Nang parang pakiramdam ko ay sinusunog na ang balat ko, nawala ito bigla.
When I opened my eyes, Cupid was slumped near the wall on the other side of the room. He still looked
normal. Hindi kagaya noong dati. But he was grimacing, like he was in pain. Nakakapagtaka. Paano sya
napunta doon?
"What was that?" he asked.
"What was what?" takang-tanong ko.
"I told you... no physical contact." Psyche appeared out of nowhere. She was already standing near
the window, her grim expression marring her beautiful face.
"Psyche!"
"Pinagbigyan na nga kayong magkita at magkausap, bakit hindi pa kayo makuntento?" She sounded upset.
"I am upset, especially with you!" She pointed at Cupid.
The latter stood up and brushed the dirt off. "Parang yakap lang e," iritado nitong sabi.
"Kapag lumampas ka sa yakap, you'll try for something more. Ganyan ka naman e. Hindi ka marunong
tumigil. Basta gusto mo, sugod ka agad kahit ikamamatay mo pa. Ang tigas din kasi ng ulo mo e! I'm
setting up these limitations for your own good, Cupid.
"Hindi mo ba alam na kapag nasasaktan ka, nasasaktan din yung taong nagmamahal sa 'yo? Oo, ikaw, ayos
lang sa 'yo na masaktan ka. Dahil ikaw 'yan e. Hanggat kaya, kakayanin mo. Pero hindi mo ba naisip na
baka nasasaktan din si Mina sa mga ginagawa mong pagpapasakit sa sarili mo?"
"Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, one way to get through you is through them. Kaya kapag nasasaktan
sila, masasaktan ka rin. Kaya nga bawal sa atin ang magmahal ng iisa, kasi may tendency tayong maging
selfish. Tingnan mo ikaw. You've become selfish. Iniisip mo na lang yung kasiyahan mo. Kaya okay lang
na masaktan ka, basta masaya ka. Didn't you think that you'll be hurting her in the process?"
Pareho kaming hindi nakaimik. She has a point. I totally agree with her. Dahil iyon ang iniiwasan ko
ring mangyari, ang makasakit. Kaya iniiwasan kong gawin ang mga bagay na alam kong makakasakit sa
kanya. Because I know what he's been going through. Naranasan ko na ring magmistulang hangin sa taong
gusto ko na ni hindi ako mapagtuunan ng pansin.
Alam ko yung feeling na dinadaan-daanan ka lang ng tingin, na parang hindi ka importante. He'd been
like that all my life. Isa lang syang bystander sa buhay ko until last February. Alam kong masakit
yun. Na wala kang magawa kundi ang manuod dahil bawal kang lumapit.
So I wanted to spare him of more pain. Pero all this time, yung gusto nya ang gusto nyang gawin. He
wanted so badly to get near me, thinking that it's what we both wanted.
Oo, nandoon na nga na gusto namin iyon pareho. But there's also this huge risk. I could not guarantee
that after one hug, his body would still be intact.
I never knew that love could be this lethal.
Cupid gave out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I give up. You were right. Happy?"
"Please don't mock me," Psyche said.
"Ang dali lang kasi para sa 'yong sabihin ng lahat ng yun kasi hindi mo nararanasan ang nararanasan
ko."
"It's not my fault that I don't feel the way you do."
"It's not my fault either that I am feeling this way."
"You could have stopped it," giit ni Psyche.
Natatawang umiling si Cupid. "No, Psyche. You know I can't. I have no power over my heart." He
vanished after saying that.
"Are you okay, Mina?"
"Yeah." Sumubsob ako sa unan ko. Naiiyak ako. A, ewan! Bakit ba ako naiiyak? Kasalanan naman nya ito.
Ang tigas-tigas ng ulo nya. Sarili lang nya ang iniisip nya. Akala ba nya ganun kadali ang umiwas?
Ang hirap kaya! But I had to, for him. Pero ang dali lang para sa kanyang i-disregard ang effort ko
dahil iba ang gusto nyang mangyari.
Gusto nya yung bawal. Yung ikamamatay nya. Ang tanga nya!
"Don't worry. From now on, he won't be able to come near you. He won't be able to hurt himself
anymore."
Napatunghay ako sa sinabi ni Psyche.
"What do you mean?"
"I put some kind of... repellant around you. He can't get near you. May pwersang kusang maglalayo sa
inyong dalawa. Believe me, Mina, I don't like it too, but I have no choice."
I sighed. "If it's for the best..."
Dear Cupid,
Ang tanga mo. Please don't let your heart get over your head. If it's of any consolation, I wanted to
be near you too pero sana maintindihan mo na may mga bagay na hindi pwede. It's one of those things
that can't happen.
We both know from the start that this is impossible. So why can't we just enjoy each other's company
until the task is done? Kapag natapos ko na ito, mawawala na rin yang nararamdaman mo.
Huwag kang manghinayang. It's for the best.
Don't worry, I will never forget you.
Mina
I gave the letter to Psyche when she came back that night. When I entered my room, I received a text
message from Rafael. He was asking if this Saturday was okay for us to hang out with his sister. I
left my phone on the bedside table to cook dinner habang pinag-iisipan ko kung ano ang ire-reply ko
rito..
Nang balikan ko ang phone ko, wala ito sa pinag-iwanan ko. Cupid was holding it, frowning while
reading a text message.
"Nandito ka na naman."
He smirked at me while waving my phone. "Rafael texted you."
"Akin na yang phone ko."
"Come and get it then," hamon nya.
I rolled my eyes. "You know I can't come near you."
"Exactly," ngiting-ngiti nyang sabi. To my horror, sinimulan nyang i-disassemble yung phone ko. He
removed the battery and then the SIM card.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I don't want him to contact you so I'm going to break your SIM."
"No!" He didn't budge when I took a step towards him. I grunted. "Give it back!"
Too late. He broke my SIM in half. Fudge! Nakakahiya dun sa tao. Baka sabihin nitong hindi ako
tumutupad sa usapan.
"Let's make a promise to each other. Let's have no ties with anybody else. Kahit hanggang ganito lang
tayo, kahit hanggang magkausap lang... I'll be okay with it. Just... don't be with anyone else."
"You're being selfish!"
"I know. Hindi ko naman itinatanggi. Pero pwede bang hayaan mo akong maging selfish kahit man lang
hanggang matapos mo yung task mo?"
Hindi ako nakaimik. He looked like he was on the verge of crying.
"O-Okay. Fine."
"Thank you." his face brightened up again. "One more thing..."
"What?"
"Can you blow me a kiss?"

####################################
Chapter 37: Destined
####################################
In the fork roads of life, no matter which way you choose, you'll end up where you're supposed to end
up to. Cupid and I had a debate about this. I told him that we make our own fate. He believes
everything happens because they're supposed to happen at a certain time, we're supposed to end up at
a certain place. Na kahit ano'ng piliin natin, nakasulat na ang mga tadhana natin. Hindi na natin ito
mababago.
And there's this instance that he was proven right but I'll get to that later.
Dear Cupid,
Yes, I got the chocolates. Saan ka nakakuha ng imported chocolates? Don't tell me nangungupit ka ha.
Baka saktan ako ng tiyan! Hehe, joke lang. Thank you.
Psyche said that we have to go to the mall again. Something's about to happen. So don't wait up at
the house. Kung gusto mo, magkita na lang tayo doon. Kaso hindi tayo makakapag-usap nang wala si
Psyche so don't make me say anything cheesy or embarrassing, okay?
Sorry kung maikli lang ang sulat ko. Hindi ko talaga matapatan yung nobela mo araw-araw kahit pilitin
ko pa. I'm not as sappy as you.
Anyway, I have to go. Babawi na lang ako kapag may interesante na nangyari sa araw ko.
Mina
My letters to him were still pretty awkward. He's blatantly professing while I'm still trying to
weigh in every word because I don't want to fall short or to go overboard. Kailangang tama lang.
Psyche told me that I should go at the mall again. I'm not really a mall person. I prefer to just go
home after work. Ang magpakapagod sa paggala pagkatapos magpakapagod sa trabaho is not really my
thing. But Psyche said that this has something to do with my prospects so I have no choice but to go.
One thing na napansin ko with Jeron and Eiline is that after their play, parang dumalang na silang
mag-usap. It's like they just ran out of things to talk about. Hindi ito naging okay kay Eileen. I
guessed that she was still trying to rekindle the connection she had with Jeron. As for Jeluu, palagi
itong umiiwas sa dalawa. Ayaw nitong pumagitna. Ayaw rin nitong maging third wheel.
"Mina."
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang boses ni Joseph Marco. It's been a while since we
last talked. Awkward palagi sa faculty room kapag pareho kaming nandoon so I dutifully did everything
to avoid him.
"Mina."
Alam naman niyang iniiwasan ko sya. Hindi ko naman itinatago. Akala ko sinukuan na nya ang pag-
attempt na makausap ako. Apparently, humahanap lang sya ng tyempo. Kakausapin ko ba sya o tatakbuhan?
It seemed childish to run but it's very reasonable to.
"Mina." Napapikit ako nang marinig ko ng pangatlong beses ang boses nya. I shivered when I felt his
hand on my shoulder. I felt the fear and uncertainty for what is to come. What will he say? What will
I say? Do we have to get back together after this? It's terrifying if you will think about it. Your
past is chasing after you. What a scary thought.
"Y-Yes?"
"Can we talk?"
Napalunok ako. I silently prayed for the ground to open up and eat me. It didn't. I was left standing
there, defenseless, having no reason to turn Joseph down.
"N-Ngayon na?"
He looked at his wristwatch. "No, later at dinner?"

"May pupuntahan kasi ako mamaya e." I mentally tapped my shoulder, thinking that I just had a chance
to get away.
"Sasamahan na kita. Tuloy dinner na rin."
"Naku, kasi-"
"Mina, stop avoiding me please. I just want to talk to you." He looked at his watch again. "I'll see
you later."
He walked away after that. Talk about not taking 'no' for an answer!
"What will you talk about?" simangot na tanong ni Silvia. I told them what happened earlier because
Psyche was nowhere to be found and I can't talk to Cupid aloud.
I shrugged. "I'm not sure."
"Akala ko pa naman he's already moved on from you. Turn ko na e," reklamo niya.
"Yeah, akala ko he's like one of those guys na wala lang ang breakups because he could easily move to
another girl. But this time kasi, friend, he's the one who's been dumped. It's like, he was slapped
right in his ego," paliwanag ni Cai.
Silvia rolled her eyes. "Men and their egos."
Tumango-tango na lang ako.
When you and your ex did not exactly part ways in good terms and they asked you for a quick talk,
what could you possibly say to them? Parang feeling ko magiging touchy pa rin sila about the whole
thing. Magkukumustahan? Pero bakit? As far as I know, if someone's bitter about how their
relationship ended, they wouldn't want anything to do with their ex.
And pinaka-least na gugustuhin nilang mangyari e mapunta sa impyerno ang mga dating karelasyon nila.
It gets really scary depending on how invested one person was in a relationship. Kuya had this one
girlfriend na noong naghiwalay sila e naging suicidal ito. She threatened him that she will kill
herself and it will be his entire fault. Nakipagbalikan si kuya sa babae na yun dahil doon. Akala ni
kuya katapusan na ng buhay nya. Lucky for him, the girl fell out of love for him and this time
around, she was the one who did the dumping.
What will we talk about?
As Psyche have told me earlier, I went to the mall again. Since I was with Joseph, I decided to have
dinner first. And I'm not sure if someone's playing a trick on me because when Joseph and I headed to
this restaurant, Raphael and his sister were there too. Parang... coincidence.
"Mina?"
"Raphael!"
"What happened to you? You didn't return my calls."
Katabing table lang namin sina Raphael so naturally, he became a bit chatty with me.
"Yes, about that... nasira kasi yung SIM card ko. Sorry."
"So kaya pala hindi ka nagrereply sa 'kin," singit naman ni Joseph.
Tumango na lang ako. At least alam nyang hindi ko lang sya iniiwasan. May dahilan talaga ako kung
bakit hindi ako nagrereply o sumasagot ng tawag nya.
"Sorry, uhm... Raphael, this is Joseph, co-teacher ko. Joseph, si Raphael."
They shook hands.
"This is my sister, Nica," pakilala niya sa kapatid niyang kanina pa nakatitig sa 'kin.
"Hi, Nica."
Nica waved enthusiastically and then she rummaged inside her bag. Then she produced my book. Saka ito
tumayo at lumapit sa 'kin.
"Pa-autograph po, Ms. Mina!"
"S-Sure."
"Nica, they're having dinner," saway ni Raphael sa kapatid.
"Okay lang." I signed her book. She even asked for a selfie.
"Thanks. Matagal ka na kasing gustong ma-meet ni Nica but you didn't show up last time," paliwanag ni
Raphael.
"You're welcome."
Ang awkward. Joseph had been quiet for a while.
"Sorry for bothering you guys. We'll go ahead."
Nang makaalis sila ay bumalik kami sa pagkain. Joseph's face was grim. Oh no. Don't tell me na
nagseselos sya? May feelings pa ba sya para sa 'kin? Sana wala na. Magiging komplikado na naman kasi
lahat.
For these past few days, medyo nagiging close na sila ni Silvia. They were civil before. Hindi
friends pero ina-acknowledge naman nila ang presence ng isa't isa. Ngayon, nakakapag-usap na rin
sila. I hope it goes well with the both of them. Sila naman kasi talaga sa huli e. We just had to
speed up the process para makahabol sa deadline ko.
"Sorry kanina," I told him.
"So... Raphael..."
"We just met a few days ago. Reader ko kasi ang kapatid nya so he asked if the three of us could hang
out kaso nasira naman ang SIM ko kaya hindi ko na sila nakontak."
"You don't have to explain, Mina. I mean, we're done, right? Whoever you're dating isn't my business
anymore."
"Ano nga pala ang gusto mong pag-usapan?" pag-iiba ko ng topic.
He took something from his bag and placed it on the table next to my plate. "This."
It's a paper folded in half. There looks to be a letter inside. Bigla akong kinabahan. Alam na kaya
nya ang nangyayari?
"W-What is this?"
"I found that on my drawer."
"Ano naman ang kinalaman ko dyan? That's not from me."
Umiling siya. "No. But it's for you."
I unfolded the paper. It was addressed to me alright.
Dear Mina,
No, I didn't steal the chocolates. Did you like them? I can get you more if you want.
Gusto kong iuntog ang ulo ko sa lamesa. Cupid must've switched the letters. Bakit kasi parehas pa na
papel ang gamit nya?
"Mina, who's Cupid?"
"H-Ha?"
"Code name ba yan? I mean, it's a funny name for a child."
"A-Ah, yeah. I call him Cupid."
"Hm..." He frowned. "I just don't get why it's on my drawer and not on yours."
"Baka ipinalagay lang nya but the letter was misplaced. No biggie. Thanks for giving it to me
anyway."
"Who knew that letters are still a thing nowadays?" Bahagya syang napangiti.
"Yes."
He finished his food and called the waiter. Umorder pa sya ng desserts. Is this why I have to be in
the mall? To eat?
"Uhm... Joseph? Are we okay?" lakas-loob kong tanong.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know I've been hard on you and that I didn't give you a second chance-"
"And you fed me with that destiny crap."
"Yeah, that too. So... okay ba tayo? No hard feelings?"
Sumandal sya sa upuan at nilaro-laro ang tinidor na nasa kaliwa nyang kamay.
"Honestly? I'm not sure."
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like it's hopeless kung hahabul-habulin pa kita. It's obvious that you don't want me anymore.
Yes, I was hurt but it's not as grave as you think. It's just my first time to be dumped kaya medyo
may sting."
"So can we still be friends after this?"
He shrugged.
"Do you still have feelings for me, then?"
"Hindi ko alam."
Natahimik ulit kami nang dumating ang desserts namin.
Nang matapos kaming kumain, he offered to take me home but I declined. Psyche was finally here and
she told me not agree. So umuna nang umuwi si Joseph habang ako ay naiwan sa mall, hindi alam kung
saan pupunta. Hindi ko naman kasi alam kung ano ang ie-expect ko.
May event sa G2 kaya doon ako pumunta para magpalipas ng oras. Gig ng Up Dharma Down kaya maraming
tao. I was following a line of people na naglalakad nang biglang may makabangga akong papunta naman
sa pinaggalingan ko.
"Sorry-Mina!"
"Raphael?"
"Ma'am, sir, lakad na po tayo. Bawal po ang nakatambay sa gilid," sabi sa amin ng guard.
"Sige," I waved goodbye to Raphael pero sinundan nya lang ako hanggang sa marating namin yung tapat
ng stage sa second floor, sa may bilihan ng mamahaling cupcakes.
"Nasaan na yung kasama mo?"
"Umuwi na."
"Boyfriend mo yun?"
Umiling ako. "Ex ko."
He looked surprised. "Ex mo?"
"Yeah, I get that reaction a lot. I know, he's too hot for me."
"No, not that." He chuckled. "It's just weird seeing exes having dinner together. Are you planning on
getting back together with him?"
"No. He just wanted to talk about something."
Sa hindi inaasahang pagtatagpo ng mga mundo
May minsan lang na nagdugtong
Damang-dama na ang ugong nito
Nagsimulang magsigawan ang mga tao nang kumanta si Armi.
Hindi pa ba sapat ang sakit at lahat
Na hinding-hindi ko ipararanas sa 'yo
Ibinubunyag ka ng iyong matang
Sumisigaw ng pagsinta
Hindi ko sure kung talagang may nananadya. Of all the songs she could sing right at this very moment,
Tadhana pa ang kinanta. For some, it may be nothing. Coincidence lang. But knowing that there's a
reason behind everything changes your perspective in life. I know now that this particular song is
playing because there's a message that needs to be sent across.
Signs. Cupid told me that they're responsible for giving the signs while we, as humans, are
responsible for recognizing them. And I, as the matchmaker, needs to be the most aware when it comes
to these things.
Ba't di papatulan ang pagsuyong nagkulang
Tayong umaasang hilaga't kanluran
Ikaw ang hantungan at bilang kanlungan mo
Ako ang sasagip sa 'yo.
"Si Nica nga pala?"
"She's with her friends. Do you want to get out of here?"
Tumango ako.
Naglakad kami papuntang Greenbelt 3, sa may area ng mga café. He ordered two venti-sized dark mocha
frappe from Starbucks. Saka kami naupo sa tambayan na may katabing man-made pond.
"I thought you were making it up."
"Alin?"
"Yung nasira yung SIM mo. Kung hindi sinabi nung ex mo na hindi ka rin nagrereply sa kanya, I would
have thought that you're just avoiding me."
"Why would I avoid you?"
He shrugged. "Baka kasi napilitan ka lang pumayag last time."
"Hindi a. Yung... pinsan ko lang kasi. Napagtripan yung SIM card ko. He broke it in half."
"Your cousin's mean."
"Yeah," pagsang-ayon ko.
And he's currently glaring at me from afar.
Isinakay ako ni Raphael ng jeep bago sya nagpaalam para umuwi. Pasara na ang mall nang makauwi kami.
Pagdating ko ng bahay, nakaupo si Cupid sa couch. His head was resting on the back of the chair. His
eyes were closed.
For a moment, I thought that he was sleeping. But he opened his eyes and looked straight at me. Then
he got up and casually put his hands in his pockets.
"You were home late."
"Joseph gave me your letter. Next time naman, mag-ingat ka."
"So I'm demoted to being your cousin now?"
I sighed. "I just said that-"
"You could have told him that your boyfriend broke your SIM in half because he got jealous of other
men sending you messages."
"You're not my boyfriend."
Tiningnan nya ako ng mataman. "But we made a promise. Remember?"

His words brought me back to the night when he asked me to make a promise, the one I hesitantly
agreed to.
"Let's make a promise to each other. Let's have no ties with anybody else. Kahit hanggang ganito lang
tayo, kahit hanggang magkausap lang... I'll be okay with it. Just... don't be with anyone else."
"I won't be with Raphael, Cupid. We're just friends."
"But what if he's actually the one destined for you? What then, Mina?"
Pareho kaming napatingin sa may pintuan where Psyche was standing.
"Psyche!"
"Impossible. Mina has no string he could connect to," giit ni Cupid.
And that's when I remembered something.
"Neither does Raphael."

####################################
Chapter 38: Raphael
####################################
Raphael has no string. What does that mean? Is he a matchmaker like me? Is he even human? And what
did Psyche mean about us possibly being destined for each other? Dahil ba pareho kaming walang
string?
Sobrang dami ng tanong sa utak ko at hindi ko alam kung sino ang makakasagot. Psyche and Cupid have
no clue why Raphael has no string. In some rare cases, nakaka-encounter sila ng mga matchmakers
kagaya ko. But they all have strings.
Ang isang matchmaker kasi ay may string na merong golden streak. It means na for a span of time,
magiging matchmakers sila. Meron din akong ganoon. Nawala lang yung akin dahil sa task ko. I need a
year to get my string back and then the golden streak will be gone. Pero mawawalan na rin naman ng
saysay kung babalik sa dati ang karmic string ko. Hindi ko na rin naman ito makikita after.
If I succeed, I will return back to just being me. And it means that I won't be able to see the
strings or the love angels. If I fail, I will be like Cupid, existing but miserable. But I will never
have my string back because I won't be allowed to connect with anyone.
And then there's Raphael. I don't know what he is. Though one thing is for sure... he doesn't know
what he really is. Mukhang wala siyang alam. He thinks he's normal and he acts like a normal person.
Dear Mina,
I still have no answer. Hindi ko pa rin alam. I'm sorry if this is baffling you. They don't share
anything with me anymore. Psyche's the new favorite.
Isa lang ang alam ko: you and that guy are not destined for each other. You said that you make your
own destiny, right? If you don't want to be with him, then you can not be with him. Simple.
Always here,
Cupid
Nailing na lamang ako sa sulat nya. Funny how his perspective was totally changed with just one
incident. Now he believes that we make our own fate.
"You don't."
"Psyche!"
She gave me a tight smile. She was also wondering about Raphael. And based on her frustrated look, it
looks like she haven't found the answer yet.
She slumped to the bed and sighed. "No one's telling me anything."
"Seryoso? Di ba parang ikaw ang proxy ni Cupid? Hindi ba't dapat e informed ka sa mga nangyayari?"
Umiling siya. "I think this is bigger than us."
"What do you mean?"
"You see, there are different groups of angels for different tasks. Minor class lang kami, Mina. And
like the hierarchy in every company, the level of confidentiality depends on your position in the
hierarchy. Since nasa lower level kami ng food chain, scraps na lang ang information na nakakarating
sa 'min. And it's usually about the matters of love.
"Putto like us are on the third and lowest hemisphere. Lower ranking kami compared to the seraphs and
archangels. If the matter at hand is about love, they go straight to us. If it's anything else that
is not within our specialty, they keep it to themselves. This issue with Raphael should have been
directed to us but since it's not, I guess this is not just about love. This is about something
else."
Sa dami ng sinabi nya, parang tumigil sa pag-process ang utak ko nang marinig ko ang salitang 'puto'.
"Puto talaga, Pscyhe?"
"Putto," sabi nya ng may diin. "Double 't' kasi."
"Oh... okay. Pero akala ko cherubs ang tawag sa inyo?"
"No, we're just often mistaken as cherubs. But we're way different. Cherubs are on the first
hemisphere, along with the seraphs."
Kahit pala sa kanila, may hierarchy rin. Akala ko pantay-pantay lang sila.
"Akala ko-"
"Pantay-pantay lang kami?" She shook her head. "No, equality is just an illusion, Mina. Very much
like free will."
"But-"
"Isipin mo nga, you're free to choose yet there's already somewhere you're supposed to end up to. You
do not make your own destiny. Not really."
"So no matter what I do, I will always end up at the same place?" If only I knew if I will succeed or
not, then it would have been easier. Hindi ko na sana sasayangin ang panahon ko sa mga bagay na wala
naman palang kinalaman sa buhay ko.
"Alam kong magulo, Mina. Fate is not something that you can take in so quickly. And if fate is
involved with Raphael as well, mas lalong magiging magulo. I do not know why he doesn't have the
string. Matchmakers usually have them."
"Yes, the golden streak."
"Some of the matchmakers we've encountered before have half of their strings painted gold. Kalahati
ng buhay nila, nakatuon sila sa pagtatagpo ng mga taong nararapat para sa isa't isa. Some of them
couldn't handle the misery that's why they die before even wearing the golden streak out.
"Some of them, however, were lucky enough to experience the magic without having it consume a lot of
their time." She looked at me intently. "You only have a year but you're on the verge of facing
terrible consequences, Mina. Maybe Raphael is yet another intervention from heaven."
What if she's right? What if heaven itself is against me and Cupid being together? Sa bagay, sa una
pa lang naman ay hindi na pwede. Kami lang itong mapilit. Yet, somehow, I was kinda hoping that they
would let it go. After all, it's love.
"Heaven is absolute, Mina. You can't overrule a law with love. Why do you think angels like us were
on the lower level?"
Dear Cupid,
Maybe this is a sign for us to stop. Huwag na nating subukin ang pasensya Niya. You've been through
enough. Maybe it would be better if we just focus on the task at hand. Kapag natapos na ito, wala na
tayong magiging problema.
Please... just think about it.
Mina
Raphael asked for my new number and since I had no reason to not give it to him, I gave it to him.
That made Cupid upset. He didn't speak to me for a few days, which was actually good-if I would look
at things from Psyche's perspective. Joseph and Silvia levelled up from being pen pals. Madalas na
kaming dalawa na lamang ni Cai ang magkasabay kumain dahil sabay sina Joseph at Silvia paglalunch.
Tuwang-tuwa ang bruha. Hindi na nga mawala ang ngiti nito sa mukha. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ng
ibang faculty kung ano ang nangyayari. Kapag napapatingin sila sa magkatabing Joseph at Silvia, lahat
sila ay nappapatango. Bagay na bagay raw. And then they'll give me pitiful stares. I hate that!
Kung dati ay sina Je Luu at Jeron ang hindi nagkakausap, ngayon naman ay hindi na rin nakakapag-usap
sina Jeron at Eileen. At bukod pa doon, hindi na rin kinakausap ni Eileen si Je Luu. Napansin kasi
nito na palaging gustong lapitan ni Jeron si Je Luu but the latter was so keen on avoiding him.
Naghahabulan lang sila.
Wala pa rin akong balita kina kuya. Hindi pa ito tumatawag. Kahit pa sabihing hindi naputol yung
kuneksyon nilang dalawa, the mere fact na naghiwalay sila, relationship-wise, is still painful.
Sana lang okay si kuya.
Napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Psyche about free will. So if it's true that it's just an illusion, then
are we just lulled into thinking that we are free to choose our own paths? It might also mean that
whatever we choose in life was already predicted. Maybe we can't really change our fates.
On one hand, I wanted to know how my life would play out. I want to know how it will unravel before
it unravels but at the same time, not knowing how things would end is actually a good thing. Tingin
ko kasi, kung hindi maganda ang kalalabasan ng bawat desisyon ng tao, they would just do the
opposite. And if fate is indeed fixed from the beginning, no matter how hard they bend the road,
it'll just be straightened out again.
It's a scary attempt to change your fate. Parang sinusubok mo kasi ang tadhana. You're trying to
change what's inevitable. Parang imposible masyado.
Kahit ano'ng liko ang gawin mo, sa isang destinasyon ka pa rin makakarating. You will just take your
time getting there, but you will definitely get there. Destiny is mind-boggling in itself. And trying
to change it is just... beyond what anyone would imagine.
I remember what they have said about it. Our fates are tangled with one another. If you pull a
string, others will be pulled as well. Kaya hindi tayo makakagalaw nang buhay lang natin ang
maaapektuhan.
Naalala ko tuloy bigla yung isang scene sa Supernatural when Baltazar-the angel who steals powerful
weapons from the heaven's weaponry-un-sunk the Titanic. Ellena and Jo-the mother and daughter
hunters-were supposed to be dead. And 50,000 souls should not have been born. But because Baltazar
prevented the ship from hitting the iceberg, it caused a huge change in fate.
Ellen and Jo were alive. Ellen married Bobby. Dean was no longer riding his Impala and 50, 000 people
were born.
Kung iisipin, parang sobrang layo ng connection. Bakit nagka-epekto kita Ellen at Jo yung pag-un-sink
ng Titanic? Pero ang galing lang. Kahit sobrang layo ng connection, they still became affected by
that one simple thing. So if you decided to make one teenie, tiny adjustment, it does not guarantee
that it will not affect anyone but yourself.
"Hey, sorry I'm late. Tinakasan ko pa ang kapatid ko. Gusto kasing sumama." Naupo si Raphael sa tapat
ko. I called him last night and asked if we could hang out. I wanted to know what's the deal with
him.
"It's okay."
He smiled at me. "So... ano'ng meron?"
"Wala naman. Gusto ko lang gumala. Mainit kasi sa bahay e."
"Naiinitan ka pa sa panahon na 'to?" Well, he has the right to be confused. Tag-ulan na kasi. Noong
nakaraang linggo lang, may bagyo pa.
"Kulob kasi sa apartment so kahit tag-ulan, mainit pa rin."
"Magpalagay ka kaya ng aircon sa apartment nyo?"
I wrinkled my nose. "Dagdag lang sa electric bill."
We moved from our seats because it was starting to drizzle. Walang bubong yung pwesto namin kanina
kaya lumipat kami. He asked if I wanted to eat and when I said yes, we headed to Greenbelt. Ang
mamahal pa naman ng mga pagkain doon but he insisted na doon na lang kami kumain.
It was a fine-dining restaurant and most of the customers wear formal attires but he didn't mind. He
said that as long as you have the money to pay for food, no need to dress fancy. I agreed.
"I sensed that you have something you want to ask. What is it, Mina?"
"Nothing. Something's just bothering me."
"I'd be happy to answer anything... even if it's... heavenly matters."
Natigilan ako nang marinig ko iyon. Even his eyes convey that he knows something. No, not just
something. It seems like he knows everything. Malayo sya sa Raphael na una kong nakilala. He was just
a happy-go-lucky looking fellow back then.
"W-What do you know about... heavenly matters?"
"You wanted to know why I don't have the string, right?"
Tumango ako.
"Mina, angels have no strings."

####################################
Chapter 39: Angelic Wall
####################################
Literal na nalaglag ang hawak kong tinidor nang marinig ko 'yon. How can an angel walk among people?
I get Psyche and Cupid's situation. They just took the image of their desired humans pero wala namang
conflict kasi hindi naman sila nakikita ng ibang tao.
Pero paano si Raphael? May pamilya sya, may kapatid... and I'm pretty sure everyone else can see him.
So... how?
He smirked at me. I guess he could see the confusion written all over my face. May lumapit sa aming
waiter para palitan ang nahulog kong tinidor.
"If you want to ask me something, now's the perfect time. Pangako, sasagutin ko lahat ng tanong mo."
"A-Are you the arachangel Raphael?" I asked in a hushed voice when the waiter was gone.
Napamulagat ako nang tumango sya.
"W-Why are you here?"
"You know why, Mina."
Napakunot ako ng noo. Imposible namang dahil lang sa 'min ni Cupid? I thought the putto are in charge
in the matters of the heart. Ano'ng kinalaman ng isang archangel doon?
"Bakit?"
"Ano'ng bakit? Why was I involved?" I nodded. "My father asked me to get involved."
For an archangel to come to earth personally, this might be something big. I still cannot believe
that one of the highest ranking angels personally went down here to oversee things. It's just... I
suddenly felt so unimportant.
"God?"
"Yes."
"Why you? Aren't you busy doing something far more important?"
"Don't you think this is important?" pabalik nyang tanong.
"Kumpara naman sa iba nyo pang ginagawa, wala lang 'to."
Umiling sya. "Mina, this is not a small matter anymore. This is quickly getting out of hand. My
father asked me to make sure that you will finish your task para makabalik sa dati si Cupid. Isa kasi
sya sa mga paborito at ayaw Niyang mapapariwara ang isa sa mga paborito Niyang anak."
I felt guilty. I know I am feeding Cupid with hope, na hindi naman dapat. Pero hindi ko mapigilan ang
sarili ko.
"Alam ba nila?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nina Psyche at Cupid?" Umiling sya. "I was hidden from them. They have no idea who I am and you must
not tell them."
"Malalaman ni Psyche. She can read my mind. And besides, they already know that you're different."
"They can be persuaded to believe otherwise. And I can obscure Psyche from reading your thoughts
about me," he said with confidence.
"You can do that?"
"Of course," he answered with smirk.
I guess he's far more powerful than Psyche and Cupid. Archangels are high-ranking angels. At isa si
Raphael sa pinakamatunog na archangels-along with Uriel, Michael and Gabriel. Lucifer-or Satan as he
is commonly known, was also an archangel. That is, until he chose to oppose God.
I still can't fathom the idea of having an archangel live in the flesh. Of course, alam ko namang
vessel lang ni Raphael ang taong nasa harap ko. Angels cannot be seen by the human eye. Sabi nga ni
Cupid, the true form of an angel is very blinding. Literal na nakakabulag. Still, dati ay nababasa ko
lang ang tungkol sa kanila. Ngayon, kaharap ko na ang isa.
"Paano kung makita tayo ni Psyche ngayon?"
"Psyche's somewhere far. She won't be here until evening."
"So planado mo na ang mangyayari ngayon?"
"Hindi ko plinano. Pero sinabi sa akin ng nagplano."
"Since you know about that, do you also happen to know what will be the ending of this story? I
mean... me and Cupid..."
He shook his head. "I only know what I need to know."
My shoulders slumped. Akala ko pa naman, sya na ang makakasagot ng mga tanong ko.
"So... ano ngayon ang plano mo?"
"I will have to get between you and Cupid and if need be, I shall interfere."
Like he said earlier, my thoughts about Raphael were obscured from Psyche. She was growing frustrated
kasi may mga oras daw na hindi niya mabasa ang nasa utak ko. Blangkong blangko. Kapag tinatanong nya
ako, sinasabi ko na lang na hindi ko rin alam.
The letters stopped coming. Raphael asked me to pretend to like him. That was the hardest part 'cause
we both know who I really like. I even joked about him eventually falling in love with me. That was
embarrassing.
"Hindi ba at may kapatid ka? You mingle among people. How is that possible?"
"This is my vessel. Every millenium, angels were given specific people to be their vessels that they
will need to fulfill certain tasks. Higher ranking angels, at that. The likes of Cupid and Psyche are
not powerful enough to contain a vessel. And yes, we contain the vessels and not the other way
around,
" sagot nya.
"So... what? You just entered this man's body?"
Umiling sya. "I was born in it. This flesh is human but the soul is divine."
"Yung kapatid mo-"
"Tao sya. Tao silang lahat."
"But don't you get attached? You've been with them for more than two decades."
Umiling sya ulit. "I was sent to earth for a purpose and it was instilled to me that I cannot
compromise it. I'm an archangel, Mina. God's law is absolute to me. When he said that we can't get
attached to a particular person, we don't disobey."
Raphael is nothing like Cupid. He follows God's law like his angelic life depends on it. He can
portray feelings without having to feel them for real. Hindi ko katulad na kung ano man ang
nararamdaman ko, halata sa mukha ko.
One more detail that he tweaked was the red string. Mayroon na syang string at nakakunekta 'yon sa
'kin. Kaya lang, since I was somehow 'exempted', para pa rin syang putol kapag malapit na sya sa
daliri ko.
Cupid and Psyche believed that if I finished my task, kami ni Raphael ang magkakatuluyan.
"Why didn't you do this before? Hindi ko sana nalaman na anghel ka," tanong ko sa kanya.
"Gusto kong malaman mo para masabi ko sa 'yo kung bakit. I want you to understand the gravity of the
situation. Maybe then, you'll cooperate."
He has a point. Siguro kung hindi ko nalaman na hindi sya anghel, I will not even consider going out
with him because at the moment, it's Cupid that I like.
I tried to send letters to Cupid but they were somehow intercepted. They get lost along the way.
Maging si Psyche man ay nagtataka. Apparently, Cupid was growing angrier dahil hindi raw ako
sumasagot. Wala naman akong nakukuhang sulat, paano ako makaka-reply?
Tuwing kasama ko si Raphael, nawawala si Psyche. It's like palaging natataon na may kailangan itong
gawin.
"What's it like up there in heaven?" tanong ko kay Raphael isang araw. We were both sitting on the
circular couch on Powerbooks. He likes to read and I'm a lit teacher. Kung tutuusin, bagay kami.
Well, except for the fact that he's an angel. A legit angel, and higher ranking than Cupid and
Psyche.
"Heaven is what you make it," he replied without even looking up. He seemed to be immersed on a book
he's reading.
"So kung ano ang gusto mo, 'yon ang heaven?"
He nodded. "Pretty much."
"Paano kung lustful yung nakapunta sa heaven tapos ang heaven para sa kanya e strip club, is that
acceptable? Kasi di ba kasalanan ang lust."
"People like that don't go to heaven for a reason, Mina. Sure, may mga tao na nalihis ng landas but
believe me, heaven is something else for them. It's what they desire the most, na minsan ay hindi
nila expected na gusto ng mga puso nila. Heaven reveals one's truest desire."
Lumipat kami ng pwesto nang may magbabarkada na naubo sa tabi namin. Doon kami sa sulok, sa may area
ng Pop Fiction books.
"Cupid told me that heaven is like a paradise. Parang itong mundo namin but with a lot more trees and
mountains. Walang polusyon. Walang krimen. Just... peace."
"That's heaven for him. He just forgot to tell you one tiny detail."
I frowned. "What is that?"
"His idea of heaven changed recently. It became flashes of beautiful places. It seemed random at
first. Just random beautiful places. But there is one constant detail. You."
I felt the familiar warmth I feel whenever Cupid's near. It felt the same when he hugged me, when he
held my hand. Even when he kissed me. It was the same warmth that travels through my veins whenever
he stares or when I hear his laughter.
That statement was melancholic. Kahit gusto kong matuwa, hindi ko magawa. Because the very idea that
you are almost there but you cannot reach it pains me.
I brushed it off. I don't need this feeling right now. I just want it to be over. I just want to get
out of this misery. He needs to return to his rightful place and the quicker this task is done, the
quicker that will happen.
"How about you? What's heaven like for you?" I asked Raphael.
He gave me a reminiscent smile. Yung nakangiti pero malayo ang tingin, na para bang may inaalalang
magandang bagay.
"Heaven for me is beside my father."
He face seemed to appear more radiant the more he talks about God.
"Mina, what is happening? Kanina pa kita hindi mahanap. It's like you were momentarily erased from
the face of the planet!" Psyche lamented when I got home.
"What do you mean, Psyche? Nasa mall lang ako."
"I honestly thought-"
I smiled at her. I just hope mapagtakpan pa ito ni Raphael. "I'm okay, Psyche. Maybe your power's
glitching."
Kunot na kunot pa rin ang noo nya. She sat on the edge of my bed, shoulders hunched. "That must be
it."
Tinapik-tapik ko sya sa balikat. "No need to worry about me."
She sighed. "It's just that... you and Cupid hardly talk anymore. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi
nakakaabot sa 'yo ang mga sulat. And it seems like he can't come near you. I mean, I know I put
something around you to repel him but it's not like this. He can't even see you. He's getting
frustrated."
"Maybe it's God's way of saying that we can't happen," malungkot kong sabi.
"But there's nothing wrong with writing letters for each other. Kahit nga paghawak ng kamay, hindi
nyo na ginagawa e. If you keep it that way, he'll be out of harm's way. Akala ko okay na 'yon."
"Well, sometimes you don't need physical contact for your hearts to connect."
We became quiet when the words sank in. Nagkatinginan kami ni Psyche. Her eyes were filled with
worry.
"Mina..."
"M-Maybe... we really need the intervention."
"Alam mong tutulungan kita kung may magagawa ako, but my hands are tied."
"Alam ko naman yun e," I assured her. "Thank you, but I guess it's supposed to end up this way."
Ilang buwan na lang, matatapos na ang taon. I have no time to waste. Siguro si Raphael na yung blind
side na hinihintay ko para maka-focus ako sa mga bagay na kailangan kong gawin.
Ilang buwan na lang... babalik na kami sa dati. I just hope we make it to the end.
That same night, I received an email from Raice. It was the edited version of my manuscript. She
highlighted a few things. Mostly rephrasing and spell-checking ang ginawa nya. She didn't omit any
scene and the ending remained the same.
There's even a letter on her email. The first letter she ever gave to me. Usually kasi, subject at
attachment lang ang laman ng email nya. She would just call me for some details. But today, it was
different.
Mina,
Attached is the manuscript with a few corrections and revisions. It was the most heartfelt story you
ever submitted to me. I felt like I owe you something. So in exchange for your novel, I let the
ending be. Hindi ko na babaguhin.
Umamin ka nga sa 'kin, may pinaghuhugutan ka ba? Dama ko yung mga lines e! Haha. But anyway, whoever
this metaphorical Cupid is, he's so lucky to be your inspiration.
I hope that things work out between you two.
Hugs,
Raice
####################################
Chapter 40: Fate, Feathers and Strings
####################################
"Simula ba pagkabata, alam mo na kung ano ka talaga?" tanong ko kay Raphael. Kakasundo nya lang sa
'kin galing sa school. He walked straight inside the faculty to look for me and because he's good-
looking, nawala na yung pitiful stares na madalas ipukol sa 'kin ng mga co-teachers ko.
It's like it was finally sinking in to them that Joseph and I are really over.
"Not exactly," he answered. "Na-reveal ito sa akin paunti-unti. But the direction was clear. I knew
where I was headed. It's like walking on a straight road with all the signs pointing ahead. On my
18th birthday, I received a sign from God. He gave me a mission to fulfill. That mission is you,
Mina. Noon pa man, alam na ng Diyos na mangyayari ito."
"So He also knew what the outcome will be?"
"Yes... and no."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Alam mo yung game sa papel na mayroong isang character tapos mayroon syang dapat puntahan. In
between them is a huge maze. Kailangan mong guhitan yung tamang daan para makarating si character sa
designated place.
"Fate is a lot like that. Only, in fate, there are no dead ends. Maraming daan at marami ka ring
patutunguhan at minsan, may mga daan na magkakadugtong. May forkroads. Mayroon din namang out of the
three roads, may isa kang patutunguhan."
"Akala ko ba isa lang ang destination ng bawat tao? Na kahit ano'ng piliin mo, fixed na yung
patutunguhan mo?" I asked, quite confused.
"Tama ka. Isa lang naman ang patutunguhan ng mga tao. Death is the only absolute destination. But it
doesn't mean that there's only one way to die. There are so many ways to die and you will end up to
one depending on which road you will choose to take. Kaya marami kang exit doors. Kasi marami kang
choices. Each choice will reflect your life's next turn, and eventually, your end."
"So... what you're saying is, maraming choices, maraming daan. There's no fixed life. It will also
depend on your choices. So you could actually write your own destiny. It's just that... may pattern
kang dapat sundin. Parang may templates lang to guide you but the contents are all yours."
Tumango-tango siya. "You can say that."
"So if I choose differently, then I could actually end up on a different road."
"Yes."
"Because I have a lot of options?"
"People have options, Mina. You always have options. That's why there's no such thing as 'wala kang
choice' because there's always a choice. Hindi nyo lang ito nakikita dahil mas pinipili nyong
sumuko."
"Can I choose to be with Cupid?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"But there are consequences."
"Yes, there are."
"Bakit pa nagkaroon ng free will kung hindi rin naman pwedeng sundin ng tao kung ano'ng gusto nya? I
mean, if he wants to do what's not right, he'll get punished for it. So he's forced to do what's
good."
Para syang si Cupid kapag tinatanong. Ngingiti muna bago sumagot. And they have answers to any
question you throw at them. It's like they're just waiting for you to ask. "God gave you free will
because He doesn't want to have mindless zombies roaming around the earth. Being alive means that you
can think for yourself. You can do what you want. But of course, there are rules that you should
follow too. Dahil kung idi-disregard lang ninyo ang mga rules na 'yan, magkakagulo sa mundo. You can
always do what you want but you don't always have to.
"That's the difference between need and want. Kaya binigyan din kayo ng kunsensya. Para malaman nyo
rin ang mga limitasyon ninyo. You humans are ticking time bombs. You're so full of different
emotions. I don't even know how you can handle them all.
"Your heads were placed above your hearts for a reason. Your heart, for your desires. Your head, for
what is right. That's one of the many differences between you and me. I am ruled by conscience alone.
I don't have any desires. And because of this, I don't stray from what is right."
"But Cupid did," malungkot kong kumento. Like he said, he's the glitch in the system. I wonder why
he's the only one like that. It seemed unfair for him to undergo this alone.
"Cupid is a special case. It must have gotten into him. He was so exposed with love that he might
have let the idea inside. He started having doubts. He started... feeling. Para syang na-expose sa
isang virus na sya mismo ang nagpapakalat. And he had always thought of you as someone special and
maybe you're really the reason why he became like this."
"So it's all my fault," I concluded.
"No. It's his fault."
"Can we stop blaming him for once?"
He sighed and looked at me with what looks like pity. Maybe he pities me for falling for someone I
can't have. But that's impossible. Because angels like him don't have feelings. He said so himself.
Maybe I'm just imagining things. Or maybe, I'm just getting that impression because he seems so...
human. Look-wise, at least.
"Whatever way you look around it, Mina, it's still his fault. The earlier you acknowledge that, the
earlier you can accept the fact that you can't be together. Just focus on your task. Forget about
him. Kahit pa may iba't ibang daan kang pwedeng tahakin, I can already assure you one thing: choosing
him would make you miserable."
And can I live with that? Of course not. Who would want to spend their eternity in misery?
Dear Mina,
If you don't want to talk to me anymore, then fine. I will stay away. Is that really what you want?
Please tell me. I wanted to assume that you do. Ilang linggo mo na rin akong iniiwasan. But I'm still
hoping that you would answer differently. Pero kung ayaw mo na talaga, this will be the last letter
that you will receive from me.
I've enjoyed the days I was able to talk to you like there's no wall keeping us apart. I will cherish
all the memories I've had with you. I really hope you finish the task. I want your life to go back to
the way it was before me.
Best of luck,
Cupid
Pagkakita ko sa nakatiklop na papel sa lamesa kanina, napuno ako ng saya. The letters were
intercepted by Raphael on purpose but this one either got through or he let it pass. Eitherway, I was
thankful. Pero nalungkot ako nang mabasa ko na ito. Cupid was already saying goodbye.
I know it was supposed to happen. It should happen. It's just that, kapag nandyan na, iba pa rin ang
epekto sa 'kin. Na para bang hindi ko pa rin pinaghandaan.
Ber month na. Malapit nang mag-Pasko. At ilang buwan na lang, tapos na ang isang taon ko. I still
have three pairs of hearts to pair up. So far, Silvia and Joseph's bond are getting stronger. Unti-
unting nagkakaroon ng glow ang string nila. It was taking its time, of course. And I still need a
confession from the both of them before I could collect their linked hearts.
Je Luu was having troubles with Eileen. The latter was still not talking to her. Ilang linggo na rin
mula nang umiwas bigla-bigla si Eileen kay Je Luu. It was because of Jeron. He wants to be around Je
Luu. Nagseselos itong isa kaya umiwas ito. Alam naman ni Je Luu na may gusto kay Jeron si Eileen and
since she's her best friend, lumayo na rin siya kay Jeron para hindi na lang lalong magalit sa kanya
si Eileen.
That left Jeron confused. He didn't know why both girls are avoiding him. Close pa naman sila dati.
Karen and Bryan, now that's a quirky story. Raphael asked one of fate's workers to do a little
intervention. Mahilig magbasa itong si Karen kaya madalas itong tambay sa Fullybooked, Greenbelt
pagkatapos ng klase nito. Raphael told me her sked kaya alam ko kung kailan pupunta sa mall.
Mukhang alam din ni Bryan kung ano ang sked ni Karen. Imposible naman kasing nagkakataon lang na sa
tuwing nasa Fullybooked si Karen ay nandoon din si Bryan. And she would always point it out. Palagi
naman itong itatanggi ni Bryan. Dahilan nito, pareho lang naman silang malapit ang school.
Sa STI nag-aaral si Karen habang sa CEU naman si Bryan. Minsan nagkakasabay sila sa jeep. Pero tingin
ko hindi rin coincidence yun. Bryan was trying to get close to her without being too obvious. Ito
namang isa, naiirita sa nangyayari.
"Gaano ba kaliit ang Makati at palagi kitang nakikita?!" she asked him one night.
"Pwede ka namang lumipat ng ibang bayan kung nasisikipan ka na rito," pabalang nitong sagot.
"Pati ba naman sa paborito kong bookstore, nakikisiksik ka pa?"
"Teritoryo mo?"
Karen stomped her foot. Ibinalik nito ang kinuhang libro at saka lumipat ng aisle.
"Ang liit-liit nyang tao, ang taray-taray nya," sabi ko kay Raphael.
He laughed. "Oo nga e."
"Mabuti na lang hindi nya tayo nakikita. Baka tarayan nya 'ko kapag nalaman nyang palagi ko silang
pinapanuod dito."
Raphael was able to make me invisible. It was not selective like Cupid's or Psyche's. Hindi rin
tumitigil ang oras. We were just simply invisible. And he could do it without even touching me. Pero
isang oras lang ang pwede sa isang araw. Kaya itinataon niya na nandito sa bookstore sina Karen at
Bryan.
Sila lang kasing dalawa ang hindi ko mabantayan dahil wala sila sa school ko.
Naiiling na ngumiti si Bryan sa sarili saka sumunod sa kanina pa napipikon na si Karen.
"O? Bakit nakasunod ka na naman? Buntot ba kita?"
"Gusto ko rito."
"Nauna 'ko!"
Parang walang narinig itong si Bryan. Kumuha ito ng isang libro mula sa shelf saka ito lumupagi sa
sahig para magbasa. Karen rolled her eyes in annoyance. Tumingala siya sa bandang itaas ng shelf. She
reached for a hardbound book. As she was doing so, a tall man went beside her and reached for another
hardbound book. It was so thick, parang encyclopedia. Medyo clumsy yata yung lalaki kaya nadulas sa
kamay nito yung libro.
It fell on Bryan's head.
"Aray!" Napasapo si Bryan sa ulo saka ito tumingala. "Tangina, nananadya ka ba?!" paasik nitong
tanong kay Karen. He stood up and towered over her.
Confused naman itong isa.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano nalaglag yan," sabi ni Karen habang nakaturo sa libro na nasa sahig. Ilang
libro ang nakapagitan dito at sa libro na kinuha niya.
"Yeah, right. Imposible namang hinangin 'yan."
"Obvious naman na gawa nung lalaki. Bakit hindi nila sisihin yung mama?" tanong ko kay Raphael.
"If he's visible, yeah, why not," he answered. At doon ko lang na-realize na hindi nila nakikita yung
lalaki. Raphael then explained to me that he borrowed on of fate's workers for this particular
scenario. The fate workers are the ones responsible for the incidents and occurrences na akala natin
ay wala lang dahil para naman talagang wala lang sila. They are the ticks and tocks that make the
clock go round.
That is why Cupid and Psyche were not allowed to make instances. Hindi kasi nila trabaho iyon.
Bahagyang namutla si Karen nang makita nyang may dugo na tumutulo sa noo ni Bryan.
"Hala! Hoy, dumudugo ka!"
Napahawak itong isa sa ulo at napangiwi. "Aray..."
"Uy sorry! Di ko talaga sinasadya!" Kumuha siya ng panyo at iniabot dito. Saka niya kinuha ang libro
na nasa sahig at pilit na ibinabalik sa shelf na kinalaglagan nito but it was too heavy for her. In
the end, Bryan had to help.
Lumabas sila ng bookstore. Nakatapal ang panyo sa may noo ni Bryan. Nakasunod naman si Karen dito.
"Saan tayo pupunta?" tanong ni Karen dito.
"Ako, sa Mercury Drug. Ikaw, hindi ko alam."
"Syempre kung saan ka pupunta, doon din ako."
"Pinapasunod ba kita?" iritadong tanong ni Bryan.
Tumigil sa paglalakad si Karen. "Kargo de kunsensya ko 'yang nangyari sa 'yo kasi ako yung malapit.
Akala mo naman gusto kong tulungan ka!"
"Sinabi ko bang tulungan mo ako?" he retorted.
"E di kung ayaw mo, sana sinabi mo agad! Kanina pa ako sunod ng sunod sa 'yo tapos magsusungit ka
lang? Feeling mo naman importante ka!"
Tinalikuran nya ito saka sya nagsimulang maglakad palayo. Sumuray naman itong si Bryan. Naka-squat
ito sa tabi ng daan nang lumingon si Karen. Na-guilty na naman itong isa. Binalikan niya si Bryan.
"Ano? Kaya mo ba?"
"Oo. Umuwi ka na. 'Di ko kailangan ng tulong mo."
Sa tono ng pananalita nito, parang may hugot. I guess he was hurt by her words. Naalala ko kasing
magkaibigan sila dati. Somehow, naging importante sila para sa isa't isa. Then something happened and
now, they're like this.
"Gusto mong samahan kita sa ospital?"
"Hindi na."
"Bryan, tayo na," she pleaded. Napatingala itong isa nang marinig ang pangalan nito. "Sasamahan kita
sa ospital. Dali na."
Finally, nagpaalalay na si Bryan sa pagtayo.
"Mina, time's almost up."
Tinanguan ko si Raphael. Lumayo kami ng kaunti kina Karen and then he made us visible again.
"Will he be okay?" I asked him.
"I guess so. He's being taken care of."
Inihatid na ako ni Raphael pauwi and the first thing I did was write Cupid a reply.
Dear Cupid,
Yes, I think it's for the best. Pagkatapos nito, hindi na ako susulat ulit sa 'yo. At hindi na ulit
tayo magkikita unless I finish the task. And don't worry, I will.
Magpakabait ka, okay?
Mina
####################################
####################################
I made a FB account and Twitter account for Cupid. Mina's and Psyche's might follow. Just waiting for
something.
I handpicked the operators. Katuwaan lang. I just want them to seem real for a while. @CupidKH is his
Twitter handle. Yes, the name had to be Eros Amorini. FB requires last names. His FB's URL is on the
external link!
Enjoy interacting! :)
####################################
Chapter 41: The Unrelenting Angel
####################################
I look like hell.
Mugtong-mugto ang mga mata ko. My cheeks were red like they were slapped nonstop. My nose was worse
than Rudolph's. I must've slept crying.
Hindi ko naisip na ganoon kahirap mag-let go. Ni hindi ko pa nga lubusang inaamin sa sarili ko na
gusto ko sya tapos ganito na akong makaiyak. What more if he knew? I guess this also made me realize
how much I miss Cupid. I was finally able to admit that I reciprocate his feelings but I had to let
it go at the same time. Maybe it's best to keep it a secret. Siguro sasabihin ko na lang sa kanya
kapag pwede na. But then again, magiging pwede lang ang lahat kapag huli na para sa 'ming dalawa.
I was too tired to work. Pinaplano ko na hindi na lang pumasok pero pagagalitan naman ako kapag
umabsent ako ng wala man lang pasabi. So I mustered all the energy left in me to take a bath and head
for school. Para akong zombie sa daan.
Kulang na kulang ako sa tulog at pakiramdam ko ay sobrang dehydrated ako dahil sa kaiiyak ko kagabi.
"Miss? Nahulog mo o."
Tumigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang matinis na boses na iyon. It kinda woke me up from my
trance. I turned around and found Karen standing behind me. She was holding a folded paper with a
white rose tied to it with a red string.
"T-Thanks." Kinuha ko iyon sa kanya.
Recently ko lang nalaman na magka-street lang kami ni Karen. Maybe that is why nagkakasabay kami
pauwi minsan.
Pumunta ako sa gilid ng kalsada para tingnan ang sulat.
Dear Mina,
Sorry. I just can't stop writing to you.
I kept the letter inside a brown box that has ornate designs on the outside. Regalo pa iyon sa akin
ng lola ko when I was ten. I keep all the special things in there.
Iniipit ko naman ang rose sa isang makapal na libro. I knew that Raphael won't let me reply to Cupid
but he did not stop the letters from coming. They were just harmless, little notes after all.
Dear Mina,
Psyche told me that you had to eat sushi last night. Did it taste good? I know you hate sushi. How's
the experience? I wish I knew.
Last night, Cai and silvia invited me to a girl's night out. Pero kasama namin sina Joseph at Raphael
para raw may tagalibre. I expected it to be awkward but it was surprisingly light. I'm just not sure
if Raphael did something to make it so.
They encouraged me to eat sushi kasi alam nilang ayaw ko ng sushi. Subukan ko raw. Bukod sa hindi ako
kumakain ng anumang hilaw e hindi ko talaga gusto ang lasa nito. Kaya isang sushi pa lang ang
nakakain ko, sumuko na ako. I almost threw out the food but I managed to gobble it down with iced
tea. Lots of iced tea.
Hindi na talaga ako uulit kumain ng sushi.
After dinner, Raphael willed me to be invisible. And he did something else too. He made me hear
people. I heard their prayers. Not the ones that they speak of but the ones that they can't even
muster. I heard people's inner thoughts, their utmost desires...
And that made me realize something: most people are good. Deep down, no matter how deep, they have
goodness in them. The intention is good, it's the method that is corrupted. But I can't blame them.
With desperation and fear lurking on every corner, mahirap nang magtiwalang kapag nagpakabuti ka ay
magpapakabuti rin sila sa 'yo.
"People have distorted the real meaning of prayer," Raphael said to me last night. "They connote
wishing with praying. So they just pray whenever they have something to wish for. Imbes na
magpasalamat sa biyayang natatanggap, they fill their prayers with 'I hope' and 'I wish'.
Nakakalungkot lang."
"Hindi naman siguro lahat," dipensa ko, kahit aminado akong madalas kong gawin iyon.
"Hindi ko naman nilalahat. I believe there are still many good people out there. My father thinks so.
And I agree with him. It's just hard to depict the good from the bad sometimes."
Dear Mina
Who's the other guy? Psyche saw you with him.
The tone of his letter was becoming more and more angry and upset and desperate. Sabi nga ni Raphael,
he could make them believe in things that he want them to believe in. I guess this is one of those
things.
Psyche and Cupid seemed to have no recollection of who Raphael is and how we met. All they know is
that Raphael is just someone I met behind their backs. I couldn't blame Cupid for feeling this way.
Pero wala naman akong magawa.
Every outgoing letter will be intercepted. Tagatanggap lang ako. Gusto kong magpaliwanag. I want him
to know that I am getting every letter. I want to assure him that Raphael and I can't be together.
Know the feeling when you're just trying to glue everything together to prevent them from falling
apart? That's what I am doing. But my efforts are clearly going nowhere.
Dear Mina,
Can't you afford to just give me one letter? Kahit isang sentence lang. Anything.
"You can't. I'm sorry." Raphael pulled the letter from my hand. "Should I stop this as well?" tanong
niya.
Agad akong umiling. "Please don't."
"Then please don't even think of doing anything stupid. Just focus on your task, Mina. I can give you
a hand. Psyche will be there to help too."
"And Cupid?"
"He needs to mend himself and stay away. You only have four months to go."
"You are a drug. I cannot quit you." -C
Why does it have to be like this? I wish things weren't as complicated. If only I could go back in
time, I will never ask that question again. I will never wonder again. Look where my curiosity got
me. It opened up a can of worms that cannot be put back anymore.
If only I didn't ask, would things turn out differently?

"Maybe..."
"Psyche!"
I ran to hug her.
"Whoa. Somebody missed me!"
"Give this one to Cupid." I kissed her cheek.
Psyche frowned. "Mina..."
I smiled sheepishly at her. "Please? If Raphael gets in the way, give him my kiss and tell him to
pass it on to Cupid."
"Pasaway ka."
"I just want him to know that I'm still here, Psyche."
She sighed. "Fine. I'll try."
"Thank you."
"What are you up to?"
I sat on the edge of the bed and collected the letters scattered on it. "Nothing much. Bakit ka nga
pala napadalaw? Akala ko busy ka?"
"I have news."
"Good or bad?"
"News are news, Mina. They only become bad or good depending on the person who will take them. In
your case... yeah, it's bad."
I blew off some air. "Shoot."
"As you may know, Eileen and Je Luu are not in good terms because of Jeric. Kinumpronta ni Je si Ei
and the latter told her that she didn't like their closeness. Knowing Je Luu, she's the type who
couldn't afford to have her friends angry at her. She just can't stand that.
"So... she said something to Eileen that I'm sure you wouldn't like."
"What is it?"
She sighed. "Nagprisinta syang maging tulay."
"You make my heart feel like you're pulling every string." -C
Awtomatiko akong napangiti pagkakita ng sulat na nakaipit sa bintana ng kwarto ko. There's no
question why he became the head of the love department. He really knew his way around the hearts.
"He really got into you, didn't he?" nakangiting tanong ni Psyche.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"I think you know the answer to that."
I sighed. "I guess I'll just pretend that it wasn't. There's not harm in pretending, is there?"
"Mina..."
"I'm okay, Psyche." Inilagay ko ang sulat sa box na pinag-iipunan ko ng mga ito. "Ano nga palang
ginagawa mo rito? Ang aga mo a."
"He asked me to come here pronto."
"Cupid?" She nodded. I frowned. "Why?"
"Do you know what that kiss did to him?"
I kissed Psyche on the cheek last night and asked her to pass it on to Cupid.
"B-Bakit? May nangyari bang hindi maganda?"
"He became so happy. If you could only see him, Mina. He was almost glowing."
"But?"
"But... I told you not to give him a chance. Kahit gabutas pa ng karayom 'yan, he'll do anything just
to get through that. And he had set his mind again to come and see you. Alam mo namang matigas ang
ulo nya kahit noon pa."
"I'm sorry, Psyche. But if I only know where he is, I'd probably do the same," I admitted.
"You don't understand, Mina. He's been going through every possible road but he couldn't seem to find
his way to you. It's like he was being strayed on purpose."
Raphael.
I'm sure it's his doing.
"Hindi ko na alam kung ano'ng nangyayari," malungkot nyang sabi.
"Didn't you hear what I just thought of?" kunot-noo kong tanong sa kanya.
Umiling siya, may pagkalito rin. "May inisip ka ba?"
"W-Wala." It's probably his doing as well. Cupid couldn't get through. Ganito pala sya kahigpit. I
should have seen that coming. He's ruled by his conscience. His only desire is to fulfill his mission
and make God happy.
Why did I even think that he would even care about our feelings?
I was in a bad mood the whole day. Kahit sina Jasper at Krisnel na mukhang okay na okay na ay
kinainisan ko rin. Hindi ko pinansin si Silvia nang balitaan nya kami tungkol sa development ng pen
pal relationship nila ni Joseph.
I was resentful.
Bakit sila may karapatang sumaya tapos ako wala?
Raphael called me a few times but I didn't answer. I was very angry at him. Umalis din ako agad ng
faculty at naggala-gala sa kung saan para lang makaiwas. I didn't want to face him. Yes, what he did
might be necessary but it doesn't change the fact na nakakasakit sya. Okay na kami e. We already
agreed that we will just content ourselves to just talking. Ilang metro na nga ang distansya. Okay na
nga 'yon e. Basta nagkikita kami. Hindi pa ba pwedeng pagbigyan?
Bandang alas onse na nang umuwi ako ng bahay at ang una kong hinanap ay ang bagong sulat ni Cupid.
Pamihadong susulat sya para magtanong. He would hope that I have the answers.
Pero wala akong ibang nakita except for the box that was on the top of my bed. It was open.
And the letters were burned to ashes.
####################################
Chapter 42: The Real Deal
####################################
What Raphael did was unforgivable. How can someone be so heartless? I was doing everything according
to their appropriate standard. Konti lang naman ang hinihingi ko. I just want Cupid to know that he's
not alone in this.
Masama na bang bigyan sya ng kaunting pag-asa? I just don't want him to think that I don't care about
him. Because I do. I care about him a lot. It's just that they think that it's wrong and that I
shouldn't.
But I couldn't not care.
"Mina, hindi ka mabubusog if you will just stare at your food."
"Sorry." I stabbed the pork chop with my fork, imagining it's Raphael.
"Poor porkchop," naiiling na kumento ni Silvia.
I sighed. "Wala akong gana."
"Halata girl. What happened ba?"
"Did you and Raphael fight?"
Umiling ako. How can I tell them that he stabbed me in the back and the reason for it is because I
was exchanging letters with the angel of love and the archangel didn't see any good coming out of it?
Ang hirap kasi kapag hindi maka-relate sa pinagdadaanan mo ang mga kaibigan mo. Feeling mo mag-isa ka
lang sa mundo. I wish things could go back to the way they were but if that happens, then Cupid would
be gone for good.
But at least he will stop hurting, right? I guess everything has a price... even love. Especially
love.
"Then what is the problem?" asked Silvia, who was looking bloomier every day.
"Wala. Wala lang akong gana."
"Come on. Kami pa ba ang pagtataguan mo?"
"Guys, minsan talaga nawawalan ng ganang kumain ang isang tao. It does not mean anything. I just
don't have an appetite today. Can we please move on?"
"Ay, mahirap mag-move on, girl!" banat ni Silvia.
Cai chuckled. "Hugot, friend?"
"Kelan ba ako na-stuck?" Silvia retorted. "If anything, sila ang nahihirapang mag-move on sa 'kin.
Imagine, every girl in their lives after me is a downgrade."
"Yabang!"
Silvia flipped her hair. "Please... I'm just stating a fact."
"Factual error, friend."

"Huwag ka ngang basag-trip, friend!"
Tumawa na lang si Cai.
"You're in a good mood today. Did something nice happen?" I asked.
"Palagi namang good mood 'yan ever since-"
Cai stopped mid-sentence nang pandilatan siya ni Silvia.
"Ever since what?"
Silvia shook her head. "Confidential, girl. Sorry."
"Aw, come on. Ako pa ba ang pagtataguan nyo? Humor me, guys. Malay nyo magkagana akong kumain dahil
dyan."
"I highly doubt it," Cai said.
"Ano nga?"
Silvia sighed. "Why are you so makulit ba? I told you, it's confidential."
"So you two don't trust me enough?"
"It's not that, friend. Awkward lang kasi to disclose such matter with you."
And that hinted what they were hiding. Hesitant lang naman silang magkwento sa akin kapag involved si
Joseph sa pangyayari.
"What happened with you and Joseph?"
"Secret nga, di ba? Ang kulit mo!"
"Sabihin mo na kasi," pagpupumilit ko. "Hindi naman ako magagalit kung anuman 'yan e."
Nagkatinginan silang dalawa ni Cai.
"Should we tell her?"
Napabuntong-hiningang muli si Silvia. "Fine. I'll tell you. But promise me that you won't get all
preachy with me."
"Promise!" I raised my right hand.
"Well... last weekend, we went out."
"So you started going out already? That's good," singit ko.
"Kaming tatlo," Cai pointed out. "I was with them the whole day."
"But then, at night..." Napangiti si Silvia sa sarili nya. "Well, you know. Not that you know. I
mean, surely you have an idea?"
"M-May nangyari ba?"
I was more disappointed than shocked. Not because I was jealous. If anything, I was rooting for them
to end up together. It's just that I don't think that it was a good idea to give yourself to someone
you're not committed to.
And Silvia seemed to have done just that.
She nodded hesitantly. Alam kong sa hitsura ko ngayon, alam nya nang hindi ako natuwa sa nalaman ko.
I know that I promised that I won't get preachy but...
"Sira ka ba?!" I blurted out.
She rolled her eyes. "I knew it! You're freaking out again!"
"At bakit naman hindi ako magpi-freak out?! Alam mo ba kung ano ang maaari nyang isipin tungkol sa
'yo? You just gave him everything, just like that! I mean, pang-ilang beses nya bang pag-aaya 'yan?
Once? And you easily said yes!"
Plano ko sanang manermon pa nang manermon, but seeing her pain expression made me stop talking.
"So you think I'm easy? You think I'm cheap?"
"I-It's not that..."
"Mina, I may not be as prude as you but I assure you, it's not like that. It's nothing like that."
Padabog siyang tumayo at umalis ng cafeteria.
I looked at Cai with guilt. She was shaking her head.
"Sorry. Nabigla lang kasi ako."
"Alam mo, Mina, you should really hear the whole story from all sides first to avoid making hasty
judgments."
"Kasi naman-"
"Just to clear her name, I will tell you the whole story."
Cai told me that Silvia met Joseph way back in college. Nag-demo raw ito sa school nila noong fourth
year ito and Silvia liked him since then. She knew his name and where he's from and what school he
goes to. But she's not the only one.
Almost the entire girl population who attended the seminar did. Kanya-kanya sila ng research. Kanya-
kanyang papansin.
Silvia did nothing because she's sure that after the two-day demo, he will come to her and ask for
her name. She was used to that kind of setup. Palaging ito ang nilalapitan ng lalaki, not the other
way around.
But to Joseph, she was just like any other dewy-eyed girl who ogles at him from afar. He didn't make
any move like she expected and they never got the chance to met.
Silvia brushed it off. She moved on because it's not like her to get stuck. Nakailang boyfriend din
ito over the years and then this fateful year, they met again. Her feelings were rekindled.
"Alam kong crude magsalita ang babaeng 'yon pero hanggang salita lang sya. Deep inside, she's just
like you. She wants to give it to someone special too. And Joseph's special to him."
"Ayaw ko lang naman kasing isipin ni Joseph na ang dali nyang bumigay. Paano kung after a few times,
maisipan nitong maghanap ng iba? For sure, masasaktan si Silvia kapag nangyari 'yon."
"Didn't you think hindi ko sya binalaan? Mina, she's old enough to know what's right or wrong for
her. And if it makes her happy, I just let her be."
"Pero masasaktan sya."
"Kakambal na ng pagmamahal ang sakit. You can't help it. Alam mo naman siguro 'yon, di ba?"
I nodded. I seemed to be an expert on thet these days. "Thing is, we know that you won't approve.
That's why she doesn't want to tell you. But giving yourself to someone for love is not cheap, Mina.
Sa tingin siguro ng ibang tao, oo. But can you really blame them?"
I guess she's right. Siguro sa perspective ng isang outsider, cheap nga 'yon. Dapat kasi naghihintay.
Dapat kasi kasal muna. But if you're into the situation, ibang pananaw ang mayroon ka. May sarili
kayong time frame. Kahit mali sa iba, para sa inyo tama ang lahat. Because when you're in love, you
let your heart rule more often that it's supposed to.
"Ayaw ko lang namang isipin ni Joseph na easy to get si Silvia."
"That thinking didn't make your relationship last, correct?"
I bit my lip. "Yeah, but-"
"Iba si Silvia. Iba ka rin. And if Joseph would dump her because he thinks she's easy, then it's his
loss. All I know is that my friend did it for love. Years of it. And if he lets her go because he
wasn't challenged enough, then he doesn't deserve her."
I wanted to apologize to Silvia but it seemed that she took it badly. Pansin ko rin na maghapon nyang
iniiwasan si Joseph. Papalabas sya ng faculty kanina habang papasok naman ito. He smiled at her pero
lampasan lang ang tingin niya rito.
Siguro ay tumagos nga yung sinabi ko sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko ba iyon. Cai was
right. Magkaiba kami ni Silvia and I shouldn't make her believe in the things I believe in because it
might not work out the same way.
Yun kasi ang pagkakamali ko minsan. Kapag may taong iba ang paniniwala kaysa sa akin, naiinis ako sa
kanila. Dahil iniisip ko na mali sila and that they should follow my beliefs because I think I'm
right. Pero hindi dapat ganoon palagi.
Dapat nirerespeto ng mga tao ang paniniwala ng bawat isa. Kaya siguro magulo sa mundo ngayon. Sa dami
ng iba't ibang paniniwala, lahat ay gustong sinusunod ng iba ang sarili nilang paniniwala. Pero alin
ba sa mga paniniwalang iyon ang talagang totoo?
If everyone believes in it, does that mean that it's absolutely true? And if otherwise, is it not?
Pauwi na ako ng hapon na iyon nang madaanan ko si Je Luu na mag-isang nakaupo sa isang bench sa may
pathway. She was drawing something.
"Hi, Je," bati ko sa kanya.
"Hi ma'am!"
I sat next to her and looked at the drawing. "Ano 'yan?"
"Drawing ma'am."
I smiled at her. "Para saan?"
"Wala lang po. Pinapa-drawing po ni Ei."
"Nasa'n nga pala 'yon?" Bihira ko lang silang makitang hindi magkasama. Ang alam ko okay na sila e.
"Nasa mall po sila ni Jeron," sagot nya.
"Bakit hindi ka kasama?"
She gave me a tight smile. "Ayoko pong sumama."
"Bakit naman?"
"Kapag po wala nang upuan sa jeep, no choice po kundi sumabit na lang. Baka po malaglag ako."
"Huh?" Ano naman kayang kuneksyon ng sagot nya sa tanong ko? Ang layo naman yata...
Umiling sya. "Wala lang po ma'am." She closed the sketch book. "Uuwi na po ako."
"Oh, okay. Ingat!"
Tumayo siya at naglakad na palabas ng gate. She waved at me bago tuluyang makalabas ng school. My
gaze were suddenly averted to the guy who just entered the school. Si Raphael.
Huminga ako ng malalim nang lapitan nya ako.
"I was calling you for days."
Inirapan ko sya. "Didn't you take the hint? I don't want to talk to you."
He frowned. "Why?"
"So ngayon magkukunwari kang walang alam?" I scoffed.
"I might have an idea..."
"Why did you burn the letters?" I asked with spite. "Masama na ngayon ang sumulat sa kanya? Wala
naman akong nilalabag, di ba? Hindi na nga sya nagpapakita sa 'kin. Ano ba naman 'yong pagayan mo man
lang na sumulat ako sa kanya?!"
"Mina, that's why I've been calling you. I was trying to tell you something."
"What?!"
Tiningnan nya ako ng mataman at saka nya seryosong sinabi. "I didn't burn the letters. Psyche did."
So now it's back to Psyche. I just can't figure her out. One moment, sa amin sya kampi and then out
of the blue, she would do something like this. Ilang beses pa ba nya akong kailangang traydorin bago
ako magtanda?
I thought Cupid's the only angel capable of lying. Apparently, she can too. And she's worse!
"Psyche!" I called out grimly.
It might be because of the urgency in my voice but almost as immediately, there came a whoosh and the
next thing I knew, she was standing in front of me.
Alam kong alam nya na kung bakit ko sya tinawag. It was evident in her face, which was etched with
worry.
"Mina, I can explain..."
"Yes, explain! Convince me that I shouldn't hate you."
"Okay. Just-just sit down first."
Padabog akong naupo. "Well?"
Huminga sya ng malalim saka nagsalita. "Yes, I burned the letters. But I have a grave reason for
doing it, Mina."
"I'm sure you do," I said through gritted teeth. "Alam mo ba kung ano na naman ang iisipin nya? Akala
ko ba kakampi ka namin? Akala ko ba ayaw mong nasasaktan kami?"
"Ayaw ko naman talaga. Believe me, if there's anything I could do to stop you both from hurting, I'd
do it."
"The letters help lessen the hurt, Pscyhe."
She gave me a pleading look. "Just... listen please. You knew that Cupid and I are both having
difficulties to interact with you. It's like your presence is being clouded somehow. And the angels
are not telling us anything. Some still speak to me pero palaging limitado ang usapan namin. They
don't want to tell me anything because they think that I'm having an alliance with Cupid. They think
that I'm tolerating him.
"I need to regain their trust, Mina. And that's what they asked of me. Burn the letters and they will
tell me what I want to know. I know it sounds bad but I did what I did to have an inside knowledge of
what's really going on."
I crossed my arms against my chest and looked at her sternly.
"Do you really want to know what's going on? I'll tell you then. There's-"
Bigla akong natigil sa pagsasalita.
Psyche frowned. "There's what, Mina?"
I tried to tell her pero nawalan ako ng boses. Nawalan ako ng boses! I looked at her helplessly and
tried to communicate mentally but she just looked at me with confusion.
"Look, if you don't want to tell me, I understand. I just want you to know why I did it. Sana
maintindihan mo rin. Dala lang ng pangangailangan, Mina."
After saying that, she just vanished.
Tumikhim ako and found out that my voice came back already.
"I told you. They can't know."
Si Raphael naman ang nagpakita sa 'kin. Great. Ano pa ba ang kaya nyang gawin na hindi ko alam?!
"Well, to answer that, I can read your mind. I can make you rich. I can give you a fatal disease. I
can take away your memory. I can do a lot of things, Mina. The only thing I can't touch is your free
will."
"Ano pa ba ang gusto mong mangyari? Because of you, Psyche burned the letters. And without those
letters, iisipin ni Cupid na wala na akong pakialam sa kanya. He'll become more miserable. Why are
you doing this, Raphael?"
"It's for the greater good, Mina."
"To hell with the greater good!"
He looked appalled.
"Well, I'm sorry that you're being selfish," he said.
"You're being selfish as well!"
"You have to understand that the things you do will bear consequences. Hanggat maaari ay ayaw naming
may madamay na ibang tao. If we could contain it, whatever it is, we will. You have to accept that,
Mina. Hindi lang ikaw ang tao sa mundo. Huwag puro sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo."
"Maliit na bagay lang naman 'yon a! I would still do my task. I'm already halfway through!"
"Cupid's more impulsive than you think. We can't have that. He needs to go back to being rational.
You can't have a berserk, love-hungry fool as an angel of love."
"Well, at least he has a heart. Unlike your kind," I retorted.
"I understand that you're upset."
"The hell I am!"
"Forgive me for what I am about to do."
He took a step towards me. Ako naman ay napaurong. It didn't take him a lot to corner me. Nang
magkatapat na kami, he touched my forehead with his index and middle finger.
I remembered slowly losing consciousness. And then I can't remember anything after.
####################################
Chapter 43: Memories
####################################
I apologized to Silvia. Alam kong minsan e napapasobra yung pagiging prude and righteous ko. It's
just that I'm used to that kind of setup. I've been brought up valuing many virtues that are quickly
getting lost in the modern era.
Lahat sa pamilya ko, mula sa kanunu-nunuan hanggang kina mama, ang ikinasal muna bago nagkaroon ng
sexual relationship. We value that. We take pride in that. Para sa amin, love need not to be rushed
and the person who can wait until the right time and when you're ready, is a person worth keeping for
the rest of your life. Imagine my shock when I got to the city.
Silvia didn't grant me her forgiveness that easily. She made me buy her lunch first and I would have
to buy her dinner as well. Fortunately, Raphael came to my rescue. So Silvia let it pass. Wala lang
daw naman sa kanya yung sinabi ko because she accepts my belief as well. It's just that, she thought
that being her friend, I would understand and appreciate her beliefs as well. E kung sinabi nya naman
kasi sa akin ang buong kwento, for sure maiintindihan ko sya.
"Where shall we eat dinner?" Raphael asked when we got out of school.
"Kahit saan."
"Why can't you just answer directly? Ang hilig nyo sa ganyan. Kahit saan, kahit ano, bahala na. Can't
you decide?" natatawa nyang tanong.
"Hindi ko rin alam e. I guess some people don't know what they want until they see it."
"Hm... maybe."
"But I know someone who knows what she wants."
"Silvia?" he asked.
"Yeah. How did you-"
"I'm an angel, remember?"
"Right."
That night, I called out Psyche. I haven't seen her in a while. I understand that she's busy. There
are so many people to match with so little time. I mean, not all could live through eternity like
them.
"Mina?"
She walked up to me with hesitation. Kunot ang noo niya, her face was contorted with confusion.
"Psyche, hi!"
Alanganin siyang ngumiti. "You're not angry anymore?"
"At you?" When she nodded, I asked "Why would I be angry?"
She frowned at me. "Y-You can't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"The letters. You got angry over the letters."
Kinuha ko ang box na pinaglalagyan ko ng mga sulat ni Cupid sa 'kin. I opened it and showed it to
her.
"What about them?"
"B-But they were..." Her voice trailed off, making the words unintelligible. "What did He do to you?"
"Who did what to me?"
Did I miss something? Ano ba ang nangyari? Bakit sobra naman yata sya kung makapag-panic?
Lumapit si Psyche sa 'kin. She held my face with both her hands and then she closed her eyes. When
they flew open, she was even more confused.
"Psyche, what's wrong?"
"Mina, can't you remember anything from last night?"
"I went home and fell asleep early kasi sobrang pagod ako. Bakit? May iba pa bang nangyari?"
She shook her head. "N-Nothing. I just... s-si Cupid..."
"What about him?"
"Uhm... w-wala."
Natatakot ako kapag disoriented si Psyche. "Psyche, is something wrong?"
She shook her head quite vigorously. "Ang totoo nyan, hindi ko rin alam. But I guess the higher power
is at work here."
"At work with what?"
Ngumiti sya sa 'kin. "I think it's better if you do not know, Mina."
I haven't heard from Cupid for a while. Hindi na sya sumusulat. Nakakalungkot. It's the only way we
communicate and he cut that off too. Siguro nagsasawa na sya sa setup namin. I couldn't blame him
though. I'm also getting tired of this.
Pero sana, since magpa-Pasko naman, ay magkita kami. For old time's sake. But I know that it wouldn't
happen. So maybe I have no other choice but to finish this task. Pero pagkatapos naman nito, wala na
ring mangyayari.
Maybe it's best if I just let it go. I just hope that they would be kind enough to take away the
memory of what had transpired within this year after I'm done with my task. Kapag wala sa memory,
walang regret. You can't exactly feel remorse over things that didn't happen. Wala kang
panghihinayangan dahil sa isip mo, wala namang nawala.
I tried to focus on my prospects. Sina Karen at Bryan, madalas ko silang nakikitang magkasama. Hindi
naman mukhang sinasadya ng dalawa. I don't think na nag-uusap sila para magkasabay sila sa jeep. But
ever since that incident where a book fell on Bryan's head, Karen became less hostile towards him.
Hindi pa rin sila as close as they were before, way before Bryan became Karen's little sister's
boyfriend-turned-ex but at least they were civil towards each other. Wala namang problema kay Bryan.
He was under a trance which made him think na mahal nya itong isang babae, na pinainom lang naman sya
ng gayuma. It's not entirely his fault that he broke up with Karen's sister. But it's definitely,
partly his fault that he ended up with her instead of Karen.
I guess if people will always set their feelings aside to avoid hurting anyone, they will end up
hurting themselves. Dapat kasi, kapag mutual ang feelings ng dalawang tao, wala nang hahadlang sa
kanila. That way, walang ibang masasaktan.
Ang mali kasi ng ilan, mahilig silang magparaya, kahit pa ayaw naman ng taong ipamimigay nila sa iba
na ipamigay sila.
Parang si Je Luu lang. She gave way for Eileen, e sya naman ang gusto ni Jeron at hindi ito. But she
doesn't know that. Bakit kasi hindi na lang transparent ang feelings ng tao? Ang hilig nating magtago
ng totoo, ang dami tuloy nasasaktan.
Speaking of Je Luu, nakabuntot na naman ito doon sa dalawa. Ni ayaw nitong sumabay sa kanila
paglalakad. Pakiramdam yata nito ay nakakasikip lang ito sa daan, which is literally true. But it's
more than that.
Naaalala ko pa yung sinabi nito tungkol sa jeepney at pagsabit dito. Akalain mo nga namang may pagka-
deep din pala ang batang 'yon.
"Je!" I called out to her.
Lumingon silang tatlo. Nagpaalam si Je Luu sa dalawa tapos ay lumapit ito sa 'kin.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Kamusta na?"
Tipid syang ngumiti "Okay lang naman po.".
"Oo nga pala, may favor ako sa 'yo. Pwede bang magpa-drawing?"
"Sure po. Kailan po ba gamit?"
"Next week pa naman," sagot ko sa kanya.
"Ano pong ido-drawing ko?"
"Uhm, it's about the red strings of fate. Alam mo ba ang tungkol dun?"
She nodded.
"I want you to draw three people. Two girls and one guy. Yung isang babae, ka-holding hands nung
lalaki. Tapos yung isa, papunta sa opposite direction. And then there's a string connecting the guy's
left ring finger to the girl's na nasa opposite side."
"Magkatalikuran po ba?" tanong nya.
"Yeah. Okay lang ba? Magkano yung ganoong pa-drawing sa 'yo?"
Umiling sya. "Huwag na ma'am."
"Ano ka ba. Effort din yun."
"I-uno nyo na lang po ako sa Lit." Saka sya ngumisi. "Joke lang ma'am. Libre na po."
"Libre na lang kitang dinner?"
"Okay po," mabilis nyang sagot. Basta talaga pagkain...
"Sige. Thanks!"
"E ma'am, para saan po ba 'yon?"
"Para sa lesson natin. About the three sisters of fate."
"Oh, may ganun pala."
"Yep. O sige na. Baka mahuli ka pa sa klase mo."
"Okay po."
Nang magpaalam na si Je ay dumiretso naman ako ng faculty. Joseph and I are on speaking terms again.
Since close sila ni Silvia and Silvia and I are friends, I don't see anything wrong with that. Some
may find it awkward that exes talk, pero kung hindi ka naman naging sobrang invested sa relationship,
I don't think you would be bitter about the break up.
Joseph became bitter for a while because it turns out that he was more invested than I was. But he
got over it already so we're good now.
Ang problema lang, mukhang si Silvia naman ang umiwas dito. I didn't think that I'd get through her
but apparently, I did. I wish I could take back all that I've said. I tend to overthink things
sometimes. At minsan, may ibang nadadamay. In this case, my prospects.
"Mina, can I ask you something?" Joseph leaned at my table. "May problema ba si Silvia sa 'kin?"
I frowned, pretending that I don't know what he's talking about. "Uh, ano naman ang magiging problema
nya sa 'yo?"
"Para kasing umiiwas sya e. A few days ago naman, okay kami. But when I asked her out to dinner last
night, she declined. Dati naman, payag sya agad."
"Baka naman busy lang?"
"I came by her house this morning para sunduin sya. Nakaalis na raw sya sabi nung katulong nila. And
when I greeted her earlier, lampasan lang ang tingin nya. Can you talk to her and ask her what's
wrong?"
"Sure, sige."
"Thanks."
Nang bumalik si Joseph sa table nya, napansin kong halos lahat ng nasa loob ng faculty ay nakatingin
sa 'kin. Oh no, they might be assuming things again. Kahit si Silvia, nahuli ko ring nakatingin. But
when she caught my eye, bigla syang umirap.
When lunch came, hindi na naman nya ako kinakausap. Parang sila lang ni Cai ang magkasama. I was
about to leave kasi ang awkward but Cai stopped me.
"Friend, ano na naman ang problema mo kay Mina? Akala ko ba okay na kayo?"
Parang wala lang narinig si Silvia. Patuloy lang ito sa pagkain. Kaya ang ginawa ni Cai, kinuha nito
ang kutsara't tinidor ni Silvia. Then she also pulled the plate away.
"Ano ba! Respeto naman sa kumakain o!"
"Respeto rin sana sa nagtatanong," Cai retorted.
Napabuntong-hininga si Silvia saka ako sinamaan ng tingin. "Sya kasi!"
"Ano na naman ba ang ginawa ko? Yung kanina ba?"
"Bakit? Ano'ng nangyari kanina?" tanong ni Cai sa aming dalawa. Ah, right. She was a bit late today.
"Kinausap kasi ako ni Joseph," sagot ko.
"Oh."
"Wala lang naman kasi 'yon. Tinanong nya lang ako kung bakit ka umiiwas sa kanya," I told Silvia.
"E ikaw kasi!" sabi nito.
"Look, if this is about what I've said a few days ago, forget it. Hindi naman applicable sa lahat ang
ganoong thinking e. Di ba nga, sabi mo dati, there's no right guy or girl, just perfect moments?
Maybe you're right. You shouldn't have listened to me."
"But that got me thinking kasi. What if tama ka? What if 'yon lang ang habol nya sa 'kin?"
"Aba, girl, be flattered! It's a good thing that he finds you desirable!" Cai commented.
"Ayaw ko naman na hanggang doon lang ako 'no!"
"E ano ba ang gusto mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Ewan ko! Basta, ayokong hanggang doon lang."
"Says the girl who doesn't believe in forever."
"I don't," pagliliwanag ni Silvia. "But it's just nice to know that someone would want to keep you
for a long, long time."
"True."
"So ano ang plano mo ngayon, friend?"
Nagkibit-balikat si Silvia. "Ewan ko. I mean, I can't just ask him that, can I? I might scare him
away."
"But avoiding him won't help," I said to her. "Maybe you just need to be honest with him."
"Pero paano kung hanggang doon lang ang gusto nya?"
"Then maybe it's time to move on," Cai answered.
Sumimangot sya kay Cai.
"Akala mo naman ang daling mag-move on."
Mukhang tinamaan si Cai sa sinabi nya. "Syempre hindi. Hindi ko naman sinabing madali, di ba? Ang sa
akin lang, if you don't want to stay hurting, then get out of that painful place that you're in."
"At sa 'yo pa talaga nanggaling 'yan?" taas-kilay na tanong ni Silvia. Right. Ilang taon na ring
sumalangit ang boyfriend ni Cai but until today, hindi pa rin ito humahanap ng ipapapalit doon. She
doesn't want to move on from him and I don't think she would ever want that.
May mga tao pa rin kayang katulad nya? Yung hindi pa rin tumitigil sa pagmamahal sa isang tao kahit
alaala na lang ang pinanghahawakan nila?
"You know it's my choice."
"Choice ko rin 'to."
"Then I guess dapat hindi ka nagrereklamo kung nasasaktan ka man. Kasi you have a choice e. You can
get out but if you chose not to, then don't complain if you start hurting."
Pabalik-balik ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa. It's amazing that no matter how heated their
discussions are, hindi sila nag-aaway. Medyo maanghang lang talaga silang magpalitan ng salita
minsan.
"So kung ayaw mong hanggang doon na lang ang relationship nyo at ayaw mo rin namang sabihin sa kanya
ang totoo, ano na ngayon ang gagawin mo?" I asked Silvia.
"Hindi ko alam."
"E kung tanungin ka nya kung bakit ka umiiwas, ano ang sasabihin mo?"
She shrugged.
"Tell him you're seeing other guys kaya?" Cai suggested.
"Sira ka ba?"
"No, listen! If you would do that, baka ma-threaten sya na mawala ka sa kanya, if he's serious. And
then maybe he'd commit fully to you."
"E kung isipin nyang unfair na tinu-two time ko sya at bigla syang umayaw?"
"Err..."
"At least ayaw nyang may kahati sa 'yo, di ba? Kesa naman sabihin mo 'yon tapos wala lang sa kanya."
Silvia sighed. "So I really need to talk to him then?"
"Naman! Hindi naman sya manghuhula 'no."
"Fine. Kapag inapproach nya ako later, I'll talk to him."
"E paano kung hindi?"
"E di hindi!"
"Sira! Papatagalin mo ng ilang araw na hindi kayo nag-uusap? Mamaya isipin 'non, nag-fall out na lang
kayo bigla tapos wala man lang closure," Cai told her.
"So what will I do na?"
"Ikaw kaya ang unang mag-approach?"
"Silvia Diana Cortado, unang lalapit? No way!"
"E di bahala ka."
"Ako, paano kapag ako ang tinanong?" sabat ko naman. "What will I tell him?"
"Tell him to talk to me," Silvia answered.
"E paano kung ayaw nya?"
"Bakit naman aayaw sya? Ako na 'to o, magpapaka-choosy pa ba sya?"
Cai chuckled. "Ang taas-taas ng confidence mo sa sarili pero pagtatanong lang, hindi mo magawa? Ewan
ko sa 'yo, friend."
"Sanay kasi akong ako ang unang nilalapitan."
"Pero minsan din kasi, you have to take the first step. Para naman malaman din nya na willing kang
mag-initiate," I told her.
"Hmp. Okay. I'll talk to him later."
Well, I hope they sort things out soon.
Later that night, Raice sent me the final edit of my manuscript. She asked me to reread it again and
give her my final say before they proceed with the printing. Sa excitement ko, hindi ako natulog
hanggat hindi ko iyon natatapos na basahin.
Siguro mag-aalas-singko na rin ng umaga nang matapos ko iyon. Nakakaumay rin pala kapag paulit-ulit
mong binabasa 'yong kwentong ginawa mo. But I have to do it para wala akong mamiss.
Raice kept her promise and didn't edit out any scene. Plinansta lang nya yung mga kaunting gusot
tapos okay na.
When I was finally able to sleep, an odd thing happened. I dreamt that I was with Cupid. But he's not
an angel. He's human. We were so happy in my dream that when I woke up, I realized that I was crying.
And just as quick as that dream, the happy feeling vanished almost as instantly.
Alam kong napanaginipan ko sya dahil sa binasa ko yung manuscript ko. The last thought before going
to bed tends to linger and continue on as a dream. What's sad about it is that most of the time, ang
panaginip ay kabaliktaran ng realidad.
I knew that, of course. It will only stay as a dream. It can never happen in my reality.
####################################
Chapter 44: Fate
####################################
Greek mythology had been a huge part of literature. Parang sila nga yata ang nag-umpisa ng lahat,
kahit na ng sibilisasyon. So I try to incorporate Greek myths to my lessons. Their culture's rich as
well. Isa sa mga patunay nyan ang kanilang literatura.
Je Luu gave me the drawing ahead of time. I just gave her the idea of what the drawing would look
like. But it seems like she have an idea of her own.
Two souls connected by the string of fate, looking back at each other. Naka-akbay ang lalaki sa
girlfriend nito while looking back at the girl na nakasalubong nito sa daan. The girl was looking
back as well while the girlfriend has no idea what's going on behind her back.
And I must say, the characters resemble them in a lot of ways. Mukhang nagets ni Je ang gusto kong
iparating. Maybe deep inside, she knew. Or maybe she's hoping that she got it right. Well, she did.
Pero kung iisipin nga naman nya, parang imposible.
Maybe she's just like most of the people on Earth. Maybe she's like me. We think that we don't
deserve something just because it looks too good to be ours. Nakakalungkot na minsan ang baba ng
tingin natin sa mga sarili natin...
"Guys, nagbasa ba kayo ng lesson natin for today?" tanong ko sa klase. May ilang tumango habang ang
iba ay saka pa lamang nagbubuklat ng libro.
Clotho.Lachesis. Atropos.
"Sino ang nakakakilala sa kanila?" tanong ko sa klase pagkasulat ko sa pangalan ng three sisters of
fate.
As usual, kaunahan na namang nagtaas ng kamay ang dalawang Jason. Pareho kasing bibo.
"Yes, Jason Uy?"
"Sila po 'yong tinatawag na three sisters of Fate, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you." Nilagyan ko ng kaunting description ang mga pangalan sa board saka ko sila
muling hinarap. "Clotho is the spinner, who spins the thread of life. Lachesis measures how long that
thread of life will be and Atropos cuts the thread. Kung iisipin, para silang beginning, middle and
end, di ba?
"The Fates are older than the gods. It is not entirely clear kung gaano kalaki ang sakop ng
kapangyarihan nila pero posibleng sila rin ang nagdi-determine ng fate ng mga gods. Parang imposible
ano? Gods can't die. They're immortals! Pero kung iisipin natin, the Greek gods are very humanlike.
And they could die as well. Mahirap pero posible.
"I guess nasa paniniwala na rin 'yan. Kagaya rito sa Pilipinas. Almost all religions here believe
that there is only one God, iba-iba lang ng pangalan. To Pagans, inanimate things are gods. To
atheists, there is no god. So who's to say that gods can't die? Maybe they can. Maybe they cannot.
Because we can't really say which belief is true or not."
Some raised their hands. Oh great, here comes the questions. I hate to involve religion in the
subject. Ang dami kasing estudyante ang matanong. Syempre, sa isang klase, hindi naman pare-pareho ng
paniniwala. 'Yon ang masaklap. How can I give an explanation about religion that can be acceptable to
all?
But I cannot dodge it, not when religion plays a huge part in mythologies.
"Yes, Eileen?"
"Ma'am, ilan po bang strings meron ang isang tao? Kasi, kung may thread of life po, di ba hindi naman
sya same as the string of fate na nagsasabi kung sino ang soul mate ng isang tao?"
"Okay, about that..." I took Je's drawing from my bag and showed it to the class. "What you see here
is the so-called red string of fate. Now, not to confuse it with the thread of life, this is the
string that connects two souls together. Yung dalawang taong nakatadhana sa isa't isa, ito iyong
palatandaan na soul mates sila.
"I can't accurately say kung ilan ang string na mayroon ang bawat tao. I'm not really sure how many.
Kung iisipin kasi, this string can't also be the thread of life. Kasi paano mo makikita yung length
nung buhay ng isang tao kung kunektado ito sa buhay ng isa pang tao, di ba? And besides, this is
Cupid's area. Maybe the angels of love can only see this string while the Fates can only see the
other kind. Magulo ba?"
Halos lahat ay tumango. Naku, ang hirap magpaliwanag kapag hindi ka rin sigurado sa ipinapaliwanag
mo.
Jasper raised his hand.
"Yes, Jasper?"
"Ma'am, e bakit po may reapers? Bukod po ba yung trabaho nila sa trabaho ni Atropos?"
"Well, like I said a while ago, we have different beliefs. Maybe for us, reapers ang tagasundo. Maybe
for the others, si Atropos lang ang nagtatapos ng buhay ng mga tao. Or maybe, the reapers work for
Atropos. Maybe she cuts their threads and the reapers come to Earth to collect the souls of the
humans whose threads are cut off. O pwede ring wala naman talagang reapers, Fates or even God. Who
knows?"
Napakamot ng ulo si Jasper.
Napangiti naman ako. "Ang gulo, ano?"
"Opo," sagot niya.
"Mahirap kasing sabihin kung alin sa mga paniniwala ng tao ang totoo o hindi. Minsan, kapag na-prove
na mali ang paniniwala nila, hindi pa rin sila matitinag. Kasi iyon ng paniniwalang iyon ang
nakagisnan nila. That's why it's hard to bend someone's faith."
Nagtaas ng kamay yung isa pang Jason at saka ito tumayo. "E ma'am, bakit may mga taong nagsasabing
maka-Diyos sila pero kapag pinagawa mo sila ng bagay na ikamamatay nila at sasabihin mong ililigtas
sila ng Diyos kung may Diyos talaga, e hindi nila magawa?"
"Ah, right. Marami ngang ganyan. Ikaw, Jason, kung sasabihin ko sa 'yong tumalon ka sa building dahil
sasaluhin ka naman ng Diyos, gagawin mo ba?"
Umiling ito. "Hindi po."
"Bakit? Hindi ka ba naniniwala sa Diyos?"
"Naniniwala po."
"Hindi ka ba naniniwalang sasaluhin ka Niya?"
Umiling itong muli.
Napakunot ang noo ko. "Bakit naman hindi?"
"Ma'am, hindi po pinapaburan ng Diyos ang nagsu-suicide."
The room was filled with laughter.
"Hindi ka naman magsu-suicide e. Susubukan mo lang kung tama ba ang paniniwala mo."
"Siguro po ayaw ng Diyos sa mga taong palagi Siyang sinusubok. Kasi di ba, ma'am, kung talagang
naniniwala ka sa isang bagay, kahit hindi mo ito nakikita, dapat ay naniniwala ka pa rin?"
"Tama. There's your answer. Maraming Thomas sa mundo. Many people test God because they doubt Him.
Kita nyo, kapag ang girlfriend naghihinala sa boyfriend nya, di ba hinuhuli nya ito? She puts her
suspicions to test. Kahit nga minsan, tamang hinala lang, nakakasira pa rin ng isang relationship.
Your relationship with God is the same. Kung wala kang tiwala sa Kanya, magkakalamat din ang
relationship nyo. That's why love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Dapat may trust din."
I can't help but smile every time the class becomes quiet. Pinagninilayan na naman nila ang lesson
namin. Ang laki kasi ng scope ng religion e. Madalas din akong mapaisip. Nangangapa rin ng sagot.
Pinipilit ipaliwanag ang mga bagay na hindi maipaliwanag.
"Class, balik na tayo sa Fates ha? Medyo nawala tayo ng konti e."
Maitanong nga kay Psyche mamaya kung ilang strings mayroon ang tao. Maybe she knows the answer.
Maaga akong umuwi ng bahay because I was excited to ask Psyche about things. But I wasn't able to
call her. Mukhang out of reach na naman sya. I got another call though. And I was really surprised
with it.
"Kuya?"
"Ano, buhay ka pa riyan?" tanong nya.
"Oo naman. Ano, kumusta ka na?"
"Okay lang naman." Gone was the gloom in his voice. Hm, mukhang may magandang nangyari a.
"Okay na kayo ni Ate Aly?"
"Oo."
"Paano yung kasal?"
"Pumayag na sya."
Sobrang naging excited ako nang marinig ko 'yon. "E? Talaga? Kelan nyo balak?"
"After two years." Narinig ko syang bumuntong-hininga. Maya-maya'y narinig ko ang boses ni Ate Aly.
"Mina!"
"Hi, ate!"
"Nasabi na ba ng kuya mo sa 'yo?"
"Oo. Pero bakit two years pa?"
Tumawa si Ate Aly. "Grabe naman kasi, ilang buwan pa lang kami tapos kasal agad?"
"Magkakilala naman na kayo since birth e. Di ba yun lang naman ang dahilan kung bakit ilang taon
munang mag-boyfriend ang isang couple bago sila mag-decide na magpakasal?"
"Iba naman kasi 'yon, Mina. Kahit buong buhay na kayong magkakilala, meron pa ring mga bagay na
madidiscover mo pa lang. Saka di ba nagbabago naman ang tao? Malay mo magbago pa ang feelings nya
after two years."
"Hindi na 'yan."
"After ilang dekada nga, nabago pa e. Malay mo mabago ulit."
"Ang nega mo!"
"Hindi sa nega, Mina. Nagpapakatotoo lang. Sa panahon ngayon, salita na lang ang forever."
"Sus! Nag-iinarte lang 'yan," came Kuya's remark.
"Huwag ka ngang nakikisabat!"
"Ako kaya ang tumawag!"
Okay, nag-aaway na naman silang dalawa. Hindi kaya sila nagsasawa ka pagbabangayan? Pero sabi ng
ilan, may nagtatagal ng ganun. Away ng away. Siguro kasi, nakakaumay kapag sobrang sweet. Parang
matamis na cake. Konting kain mo pa lang, nauumay ka na sa tamis.
"Oy, bago pa kayo mag-away na dalawa, kumusta na sina mama?"
"Okay lang naman sina tita."
"Nasabi nyo na yung plano nyo?"
"Hindi pa," sagot ni Kuya. "Baka raw madaliin kami."
"E paano 'yan, kuya? Babalik pa ba kayo rito?"
"Sya lang," sagot ni Ate Aly. "Sabi ni mama, dito na lang daw ako. Magtayo raw ako ng sarili kong
coffee shop basta huwag na lang akong lumayo."
"Ang clingy talaga ng mama mo," sabat ni Kuya.
"Syempre, unica hija ako."
"Kelan ka lang naman nagiing babae."
Maya-maya'y nakarinig na ako ng malakas na palo. Tapos umaray si Kuya. Ayan, naghahampasan na sila.
Sighing, nagpaalam na ako sa kanila kahit hindi nila ako narinig. And then I ended the call.
I called out for Psyche again, hoping that she would come. Pero wala. So, having nothing else to do,
natulog na lang ako. Silently wishing for my dream last night to continue.
But it didn't.
I woke up the next morning, feeling a bit sad. Bitin yung panaginip ko noong isang araw. Pero siguro
wake up call na rin sa 'kin na hindi ko ito naituloy. Para hindi na rin ako umasa.
I continued my lecture about fate. Only this time, I focused on the strings that connect people
together. Truly, when it comes to love, people are more interested to listen. Using the same material
from yesterday, I delved deeper into the topic.
"The red strings are said to connect two souls so that no matter how far apart they are, they will
always find their way to each other. Ever felt like you've known someone your whole life and yet you
just met them? That's because your lives are tangled since the beginning. You just don't know it yet
until the right time comes and then it's revealed.
"Minsan, magkapitbahay kayo for ten years and then one day, you'll just see them in a different
light. Yung best friend mo dati na hanggang kaibigan lang ang tingin mo, now you look at them with
love. My friend taught me a few things about love and I just want to share it with you, so that even
though you can't see the strings, you'll be able to recognize love. To own it and cherish it."
They are all ears. Ni walang nakayuko. Lahat ay nakatingin sa 'kin, naghihintay ng kasunod kong
sasabihin. Hm, maybe I should incorporate love in all my lectures. Mga tao talaga, lalo na kapag
kabataan, napaka-hopeless romantic.
"There are five stages of connection. Kapag nalampasan ninyo ito, your strings will glow. They are
already connected because it means that you are soul mates. However, this does not guarantee na kayo
na ang magkakatuluyan. That's why there are people who we deem as Ms. Wrong or Mr. Right. In reality,
wala talagang ganoon. But there is such a thing as Wrong-For-You or Right-For-You dahil maaaring mali
sila para sa iyo pero tama para sa iba.
"Now, the first stage among the five is awareness. It's what I've said before. You see people in a
different light. It's when you recognize someone as the potential owner of your heart. Nag-iiba yung
pagtingin nyo sa kanila.
"The second stage is realization. Dito naman lumalalim yung awareness. Dito nyo binibigyan ng chance
yung possibility. On this stage, you begin to wonder. You begin to think. You begin to get confused.
Third stage is acceptance. Here also comes denial. Bago mo matanggap ang isang bagay, lalo na kapag
ayaw mo, syempre idini-deny mo muna. Iisipin mong imposible. Na ayaw mo. Lalo na kapag hindi mo trip
yung taong nagustuhan mo, di ba?"
Ang ilan sa kanila ay tumango. May ilang nagkatinginan. And I can't help but smile because right at
that moment, some strings glowed. Maybe now they will accept that possibility.
"Ma'am, ano po 'yong fourth?"
"Fourth stage is confession. Words without actions are meaningless. Actions without words are
confusing. It's not enough to just express. Dahil may mga taong dense at hindi nakukuha sa
pagpaparamdam. May ilang iba ang interpretation. So you need to be direct. Tell them what you feel.
"This is by far the most difficult among the four. Can you think of a reason why?"
Krisnel raised her hand.
"Rejection, ma'am. Takot ang tao sa rejection."
"Correct. Matanong ko lang, ilan na sa inyo ang nag-confess at na-reject?"
May ilang nahihiya pero nagtaas ng kamay, including Jasper. Karamihan sa kanila ay lalaki. Dadalawa
lang yata ang babae.
"So I take it na mas matapang ang mga lalaki pagdating sa ganito?"
"Not necessarily, ma'am," sagot ng estudyante kong si Milan. "Sanay lang po tayo na lalaki ang nagku-
confess. Para po kasing ang sama ng tingin kapag babae ang unang nagsabi."
"Oo nga po," pagsang-ayon ni Je. "Parang ang cheap po kapag babae ang nauna."
"Bakit nga ganon, 'no? Gusto ng mga babae ng equality pero kapag convenient lang sa kanila," dagdag
ni Joshua.
"Nako, mahaba-habang discussion 'yan, guys. Maybe next time," I told them. "So, are you ready for the
fifth? Any guess?"
"Marriage po?"
"Courtship?"
"Friendship?"
I shook my head at every answer. "It's commitment."
"E di tama po 'yong marriage?"
"Girlfriend-boyfriend, ma'am?"
"No... not like that. You don't necessarily need labels. You commit to the feeling itself. You
embrace it. You own it. Kaya kahit hindi kayo, basta committed kayo sa feelings nyo, connected na rin
kayo. That is why, sometimes, may mga taong naghihiwalay kahit na mahal pa nila ang isa't isa. There
are differences and difficulties, yes. And sometimes, it won't really last. But that doesn't mean
that love ends there. The relationship ends, but love exceeds the length of that relationship. That
is why, sometimes, kahit ilang taon na kayong magkahiwalay, mahal mo pa rin 'yong tao. Kaya mahirap
mag-move on.
"It does not die easily. Maybe that's why the word forever was invented. Kasi sa sobrang tagal na ng
pagmamahalan ng dalawang tao, nakalimutan na nila kung ilang linggo, buwan, taon o dekada na ang
lumipas."
"E paano po malalaman kung true love na? Kailangan po bang everlasting?"
"To quote someone from one of my favorite TV shows 'We move in and out of loving other people, but
that doesn't make love any less real'. So, no. It's not the length of the relationship that will
determine the depth or truth of love. It's now how long, it's how much. Tandaan nyo 'yan."
Lumampas na kami ng mga 15 minutes dahil ang dami pa rin nilang tanong. It was one of the most
enjoyable lectures I've had with them. If only I could teach about love. Pero Literarure prof ako.
'That was quite a lecture,' I heard someone say.
Agad akong napalingon when I recognized the voice. I was dumbfounded. Para akong naputulan ng dila.
Not only is he there, in the flesh, standing a few feet away, but I can also hear his voice inside my
head, like before.
What kind of miracle is this?

####################################
Chapter 45: Moth and Flame
####################################
'Can you really hear me?'
'Yes.'
'Are you really here?'
'Yes, I am.'
'I'm not dreaming by any chance, am I?'
He smirked at me. 'No. You're wide awake and I'm really here.'
My heart's pumping so loud. Na parang gustong tumalon ng puso ko papunta sa kanya. Gusto ko syang
yakapin ng mahigpit na mahigpit na mahigpit. I want to make up for all the hugs that we weren't able
to share.
'Gusto rin kitang yakapin, Mina.'
'But we can't, right?'
He slowly shook his head. 'No, we can't.'
I sighed. Well, at least nakita ko sya ulit. It's been like forever since the last time.
'Yes, it felt like forever,' he agreed.
It's like time stood still and we have our own little world in that crowded corridor. But reality
caught up sooner.
'I have to go to my next class,' paalam ko sa kanya.
'Yes, of course.'
'Can you-'
He smiled at me. 'Yes.'
I was about to ask him to sit in. I was about to ask him to wait for me until my last class for the
day. But I guess he already knew what I want. We walked together to my next class. May space pa ring
namamagitan sa aming dalawa. I guess we still cannot cross that. But I'm happy to know that he's
back. He's here again, finally.
I was agitated the whole day. Pabalik-balik ang tingin ko sa kinauupuan nya. Natatakot akong mawaglit
ang tingin ko tapos bigla na lang syang mawala ulit. If only I could somehow chain him to something
so he won't disappear again, I would.
Lucky for me, he didn't disappear. He was still there when my last class was finished. I could still
talk to him mentally. Siguro nga ay tulog pa ako. Baka nananaginip pa ako. It's too good to be my
reality. It has to be a dream.
'You're not dreaming, Mina. Hindi ka pa ba nakukumbinsi? Kanina mo pa kinukurot ang braso mo a?'
Tinanggal ko ang daliri ko sa pagkakakurot sa namumula kong braso. 'Parang ang imposible lang kasi.
What did I miss? Dati rati'y ni magkita tayo, hindi pwede. Tapos ngayon, not only can I see you but I
can communicate with you using my head as well. Bakit? What's the catch?'
'The catch? There is no catch, Mina. They just told me that if I touch even the tip of your hair, I
will vanish in an instant. No second chances. No atonement. I will just disappear and I will never
see you again. Ever.'
Awtomatiko akong napalayo sa kanya, kahit na ba magkalayo na nga kami.
'Then why did they let you see me? Hindi ba't mas mahihirapan ka?'
'That's exactly what they want. They want me to suffer. This is torture, Mina. But at the same time,
I am happy.'
'Why now? Why not a few weeks earlier? Why not a few months later? Dahil ba magpa-Pasko?'
Napangiti sya sa tanong ko. 'Yeah, why now, indeed?'
'Hindi nga. Bakit nga?' pamimilit ko.
He put his hands in his pockets. I missed that sight. He would always put his hands in the pockets of
his knee-length shorts, look up the sky in search for answer and sigh.
'They told me that you're almost there. The task is almost done.'
'Pero may tatlong pares pa-'

'The two are on their way to connecting while the third would follow soon. Malapit na tayong
magkahiwalay.'
Aray. Kakakita lang tapos hiwalay agad?
'Ang bilis naman.'
'It's not meant to last, anyway.'
'Bakit kung makapagsalita ka, parang tanggap mo na?' I couldn't hide the hurt in my voice. Dati-rati,
ayaw nyang sumuko. Ang tigas ng ulo nya. Now, it's like he's giving up already. What's the deal with
him?
'We have to accept the truth, no matter how painful it is. I'm only happy to see you. Kahit naman
ilang buwan na lang bago tayo tuluyang maghiwalay, at least I get to spend the rest of this year with
you. Wala rin namang patutunguhang maganda ang pagsuway sa kanila. The ending would still be the
same.'
'Since when did you care about the ending?'
'Since I've accepted the fact that mine won't be a happy one.'
It's bittersweet, I guess. Parang pakiramdam lang kapag huling taon mo na sa high school. To think na
noong freshman ka pa lang, atat ka nang maka-graduate. Tapos kapag nalalapit na ang graduation, gusto
mo namang pahabain ang oras. Isa pang taon. Isa pang taon ng saya.
Mas nagkakaroon nga ng halaga ang isang pangyayari kapag malapit na itong matapos. Hindi ko alam kung
bakit ganoon ang pakiramdam ko nang bumalik si Cupid. Graduation goggles, siguro. I wanted to ask
Psyche but Psyche was still nowhere to be found. So, I asked Raphael instead. Baka kasi may kinalaman
sya.
"Sorry to disappoint you."
"Wala ka talaga kinalaman?"
"I know something but I'm not involved. Someone who is higher than me allowed him to be close to you
again. This is an ultimatum, Mina."
"Ultimatum?" Parang ang labo naman yata. Because I see this as a reward. I still don't understand why
it's negative, aside from the fact that this might come out as torture to Cupid.
"Alam mo naman siguro yung kwento ng apoy at ng gamu-gamo, hindi ba? You're the flame and he's the
moth. You're attracting him, pulling him towards you but if he gets too close, even the slightest
touch can set him ablaze. And when he turned to ashes, that's the end of him.
"You see, he's addicted to you. And when an addict dodges his object of addiction, the absence will
only make him want it more. Kaya nga ang problema, hindi dapat iniiwasan, kundi hinaharap. In your
case, you are his problem. And he has to solve you. He can't avoid you forever."
"So by being with me, he will get me out of his system?" I know it's the right thing but somehow, it
feels wrong.
"And by being with him, you will get him out of yours."
"Paano kung mas lalo pang lumala?"
"Then he will cease to exist. In a snap. No second chances."
Napalunok ako sa sinabi nya. Tapos na ang case ng trial and error. Kumbaga sa exam, pen na ang gamit,
hindi lapis. No erasure. What you've written is your final answer. And if we answer wrong, we will
both suffer. Wala nang pakiusapan.
The notion scares me. Sana kasi parang laro na lang ang buhay. Kapag na-game over ka, pwede kang
magsimula ulit. Pero dito, wala na. Isang pagkakamali lang, mawawala na sya.
"He said that two out of three pairs will connect soon. How soon? Bago mag-Pasko? New Year ba? Can
you tell me?"
Para kapag alam ko, alam ko na rin kung gaano katagal na lang ang natitira before the last day.
Raphael shook his head. "I can't tell you. Depende kasi sa 'yo at sa kanila kung gaano katagal o
kabilis. As much as possible, ayaw kong nakikigulo sa mga gawaing para sa inyo."
"I understand," I told him. "Paano nga pala kapag nagawa ko na yung task? Mawawala ba sya agad-agad?"
"Yes."
Sa bahay, naabutan ko si Cupid na nakapikit habang nakikinig ng music sa iPod ko. Because I can hear
his voice now, naririnig ko na rin yung pagkanta nya. Like always, mga kantang patungkol sa kanya na
naman ang pinapakinggan nya.
Ang narcissistic talaga.
"I heard that," he said, opening one eye.
"Pinarinig ko talaga sa 'yo yun."
He sat up and patted the empty space beside him. I sat on the couch, careful not to make any contact
with him. He removed one earpiece and laid it on the space between us. Inilapag nya rin ang iPod sa
gitna. I took the earpiece and plugged it on my right ear.
Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know.
Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know.
Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?
"Wow, himala. Wala yatang Cupid sa kantang 'to?"
Tipid syang ngumiti. "Won't you like to know how our story will end?"
"Of course, I do."
"Me too."
"But we already know how this will end, right?"
"We have two options. But both will mean that we won't see each other ever again."
"Then both endings are sad?"
"Depende. Ano ba ang gusto mong mangyari?" tanong nya.
"Kapareho ng gusto mong mangyari," sagot ko naman.
"You and me against the world?" he asked in amusement.
"More like you and me against heaven and earth."
"Then we can't win."
"No, we can't."
"Pero bakit nakangiti ka pa rin?" kunot-noo niyang tanong.
"Kasi masaya ako."
"Masaya ka kahit saglit lang tayong magkakasama?" paglilinaw nya.
"There's no sense in moping, is there? Wala namang mababago kung iiyak ako."
He didn't respond. I guess that means that he thinks I'm right.
"So what's the plan? Kaya mo bang dumistansya hanggang sa matapos ko 'to?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Of course. How hard can it be?"

####################################
Chapter 46: Second Chances
####################################
How hard can it be? Oh, very easy. Remind me again why we got into this in the first place? Yes,
that's right. It's because he had overstepped his boundaries. And now he's telling me that distancing
himself from me would be a piece of cake for him? I don't think so.
Maybe underneath all that composure is the reckless part of him that wants to come out and do things
on impulse again. Maybe he's caged because he's afraid of the consequences. I see it now. I see how
that became his ultimatum. Wala na kasi syang fail-safe. If he gets too close, zilch-and then he's
Cupid no more.
Mas ayos nga naman kung babalik na lang kami sa dati. Kahit pa ba hindi nya na ako maaalala, at least
we'll both get our happy endings, although separately. But why does it hurt? Why is the mere idea so
painful?
"Good morning, Mina."
"Uy, Joseph! Bakit umagang-umaga e nakasimangot ka?"
He sighed.
"I don't get you."
"Me?" Napaturo ako sa sarili ko.
Umiling sya. "Women."
"Well, in behalf of all the women in the world, I apologize for that." I grinned at him. "Is this
about Silvia again?"
"One moment she's so into me and then she's cold the next. Hindi ko sya maintindihan. Hindi naman nya
sinasabi sa 'kin kung ano ang ginawa ko."
"Sinubukan mo man lang bang hulaan kung bakit ka nya iniiwasan?" tanong ko sa kanya. He looked so
worried. He was like this when I broke up with him. Ang kaibahan nga lang, wala sa mukha niya ang
pagkalito noon. Kasi alam nya ang dahilan. Now, he's lost because she's not telling him why.
"I can't think of any reason why she would avoid me. Akala ko okay kami. I mean, we seem okay."
"Baka naman may ginawa ka na hindi nya nagustuhan?"
Nag-isip sya sandali, saka umiling. "No. As far as I can recall, kapag may ayaw sya, sinasabi nya sa
'kin. She's very straightforward with me. Kaya nga nagtataka ako kung bakit bigla-bigla na lang syang
umiwas ng walang pasabi. If she wants to end it, she could have at least told me para naman alam ko.
Hindi yung ganitong nanghuhula ako."
Poor guy, he seemed so lost. But I can't tell him why kasi ako naman ang aawayin ni Silvia kapag
ginawa ko 'yon.
"Baka naman kailangan lang nyang lambingin?"
It's weird to see him blush when I told him that. For a guy who seemed so confident with himself, I
could never imagine him abashed.
"I... I didn't think of that."
I gave him an encouraging smile. "I know that she's not the sappy kind. But she's still a woman."
"So what do you suggest?"
"Why don't you court her? Give her flowers. Take her some place nice... the usual."
Lalo na siyang nalito. "Why would I court her?"
"Syempre, para maging kayo."
"But we're good already... I think."
"Kayo na?" Now that's new. Akala ko M.U. lang sila.
"No. It's just a mutual thing."
Ah, so M.U. nga.
"So hindi ka nanligaw?"
He shook his head. "We just went with the flow."
"As in, hindi ka man lang nagbigay ng flowers sa kanya? Not even once?"
"Well, I gave her the letters. Kahit technically, ikaw naman ang gumawa nun."
"Naaalala mo pa pala."
"Syempre. I am grateful for that. Siguro kung hindi mo 'yon ginawa, hindi kami magiging close."
Well, at least it did something nice. "Alam ba ni Silvia?"
"No. Kinailangan ko pa ngang hiramin yung mga sulat ko para maka-keep up ako dun sa mga bagay na
supposedly e nasabi ko na."
"Good thinking."
He put his hands in his pockets and sighed. "I think she misses them. Simula kasi noong unang beses
na nag-usap kami ng personal, hindi ko na itinuloy yung pagsulat sa kanya."
"Bakit naman hindi?"
"E kasi nag-uusap na kami e. I didn't think it's necessary to write her letters anymore. Baka
maubusan ako ng sasabihin."
Bigla kong naalala yung pagsusulatan namin ni Cupid. True, kapag hindi kayo madalas makapag-usap,
marami kang baong kwento para isulat. But that doesn't mean na kapag nag-uusap na ang dalawang tao e
mauubusan na sila ng sasabihin sa isa't isa, non-verbally.
"Mali ka. There are some things that you can say in a letter na hindi mo masabi sa personal. You'll
never run out of words to say, especially if you're talking with someone you like. You like her,
don't you?"
He gave me one of those boyish smiles of his.
"Yeah..."
"Then show her how much."

Tiningnan nya akong mabuti. He was frowning and he doesn't look upset. Medyo quizzical lang ang
expression nya.
"What?" I asked.
"Don't you find it weird?"
"Ang alin?"
"We're exes. We're not supposed to talk to each other."
"Why not?" Now, it's my turn to frown. Why can't two exes, who also happen to be friends, talk? Kasi
awkward? E paano kung hindi naman awkward?
Umiling sya. "Never mind. Anyway, thanks for the advice. Una na 'ko."
"Sige."
I watched him walk away. And as my gaze follows him, it happened to land on someone else, who was
also frowning. Nakasandal sya sa isa sa mga post ng pathway, his arms crossed against his chest.
'What?' I asked.
'I didn't know that you two are friends again.'
'There are a lot of things that happened while you're gone,' I told him. Naglakad ako papunta sa
faculty room. Sinabayan nya ako. We're on the two opposite sides of the pathway. Ako sa kanan at sya
sa kaliwa, kung saan naglalakad ang mga tao papunta sa kasalungat na direksyon.
'Like what? Care to tell me?'
'Raphael.' I was testing it. I wanted to know if he knew or if he'd be blocked if I thought of
Raphael. 'He's an angel.'
I waited for his reply.
Tumigil sya sa paglalakad. 'What about him?'
Ah... so he still doesn't know. Poor guy, he's still kept on a gray area.
'Nothing.'
'Nanliligaw ba sya sa 'yo?'
'No,' pagtanggi ko. 'We're just friends.'
'You seemed to be too close to be just friends.'
'Well, we are just friends. Nasa sa 'yo na kung maniniwala ka o hindi.'
He sighed. I continued walking. Ilalagay ko lang ang gamit ko tapos dideretso na ako ng klase.
'It's just that... I get jealous, okay?'
'Okay.'
'Galit ka ba?' he asked in worry.
'No.' I gave him a reassuring smile.
Cupid followed me to my class. He sat on the farthest corner of the class room. Nakaka-conscious
kapag nanunuod sya habang nagtuturo ako. It felt like a demo. And given na mas marami syang alam kesa
sa akin patungkol sa buhay, I kinda felt a little insecure. It's a relief that he didn't correct me.
Kahit na ba kami lang dalawa ang magkakarinigan, feeling ko mapapahiya pa rin ako.
When lunch came, I asked Joseph to whisk Silvia away. Yung tipong out of the blue. He was usually
game. Being a confident guy, halos kahit ano'ng ipagawa mo sa kanya, basta kaya nya, gagawin nya.
When it came to Silvia though, he got a little shy. I don't know if it's good or bad.
But he did it anyway.
Si Silvia naman, she pretended to not hear him. Ganoon kasi ito kapag naiinis o nagtatampo sa isang
tao. She'll pretend that that person does not exist. And in this scenario, that person is Joseph.
Nakailang sipa na nga si Cai sa binti nito under the table pero wala pa rin. In the end, Cai and I
had to carry our trays to another table to give them some time alone. That's when Silvia became
frantic. She hurried to place her food back to the tray but Joseph quickly took it away.
When he sat down, she attempted to get up pero pinigilan nya ito.
"I-video ko ba?" tanong ni Cai. Nakangisi ito habang hawak-hawak ang phone.
"Sira."
Tumawa sya. "I'm sure, may gera na sa utak ni Silvia ngayon."
I looked back at Silvia. If Cai's right about that, then it's not evident on Silvia's face. That
woman can control her emotions well. Requirement ba ang composure sa magaganda?
"In fairness, hindi halata," sagot ko sa kanya.
"She has a knack for that, hiding her true emotions. That's why people sometimes see her as a
heartless human being. Because she doesn't show them her vulnerability. It takes someone special to
crack her open."
"Like Joseph."
"Alam mo, all this time, akala ko wala na talaga. Patay na patay sya dyan, lalo na dati. Pangalan pa
lang ni Joseph, iirit na 'yan. But I guess she got tired of not being noticed."
"But her feelings remained the same."
Tumango si Cai. "Of course. She may seem like she doesn't care but in reality, only Joseph was able
to touch her here." She pointed at her chest. "Her heart, I mean. Not the boob."
Natatawa akong umiling. "Sira ka talaga."
Cai just grinned at me.
"Ikaw, wala kang planong mag-move on?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Bakit ba big deal sa inyo 'yan? I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl. I can take care of
myself."
"Everybody needs somebody, Cai. I'm sure that he'd want you to move on and be happy."
"Sa kanya lang naman ako sumasaya," malungkot nyang sabi.
"You can't know that."
"I know so. I've tried, Mina. And I'm tired of trying. I've met a lot of different men after him and
I didn't find that kind of happiness in them."
"Maybe he hasn't arrived yet."
She frowned. "Who?"
"That guy whose special enough to be good enough for you."
"You mean, a replacement?" natatawa nyang tanong.
I shook my head and smile. "No. Your second chance."

####################################
Chapter 47: Reincarnation
####################################
"Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"Natanong mo na sa 'kin 'yan, di ba?"
"Yeah, but you were thinking about it. I thought that maybe you'd want to ask me about it."
Ever since he came back, he tried to be helpful. Maybe it's to make up for the lost time. And he's
right. I have been thinking about it ever since I talked to Cai. I was trying to convince her to look
for someone else to love because her one true love is long gone and will never come back.
And if she stays stuck, she will never be happy.
I know that her string is already connected and it won't break even though he's dead, but she doesn't
know that. She has no idea that her soul mate's already gone. And by not knowing, she can allow
herself to try again.
"You think it's sad for you," he told me.
"There's no mystery. There's no fun in trying. Kahit saan ako lumingon, alam ko na ang para kanino.
And yes, though it's fulfilling to see them connect, those who didn't make me sad. Yung isang dangkal
na lang ang layo sa isa't isa pero hindi pa rin sila nagkita. Ang lungkot, di ba? And they'll spend
the rest of their lives looking for that someone who will complete them when all this time, they're
already tied to someone else."
"But if they don't know what they're missing, they won't feel sad about it."
"I guess so."
He looked at me intently. He was a meter away. He can't get close to me and he had been careful not
to.
"You're sad for yourself."
"Malungkot lang sigurong wala akong karamay. I alone know these things and I can't disclose them to
anyone. You gave me a responsibility way bigger than me."
He shook his head. "There's a saying that goes 'God will never give you a burden you can't carry'.
It's true, Mina."
"But this is your burden, Cupid."
--
"You don't know that. How sure are you that this isn't a part of your destiny? That I wasn't meant to
fall for you? That all of this is part of a bigger plan and that both of us are only means to an
end?"
"So kinasangkapan lang Niya tayo para sa isang goal na kailangang makuha?"
"Don't objectify yourself, Mina."
I sighed. "Maybe I need to ask Raphael about these things."
He frowned. "What does he know about them? When it comes to these things, I'm your guy. Ask me."
"Ang seloso mo."
"Bakit kasi sa kanya ka pa magtatanong e nandito naman ako?"
"Human perspective," sagot ko. Kahit hindi naman human si Raphael... pero hindi alam ni Cupid 'yon.
"I can provide you with human insight too. I just have to think like you."
I shook my head. "Never mind. Just tell me what reincarnation is from your perspective."
He poised and cleared his throat. "Well, as you may know, a few hundred years ago, the earth was not
as crowded. Back then, the old souls were whole. Kapag ang dalawang taong nakatadhana para sa isa't
isa ay nagtagpo, yung mga magiging anak nila, buo rin yung kaluluwa. Kapag naman yung nakatuluyan ng
isa ay yung hindi talaga para sa kanya, magiging mixture nilang dalawa yung soul ng magiging anak
nila. It has the same logic of races and nationalities. You see, no pairs of souls are perfectly
alike. There is only one exact match for each soul. Well, that was the case before."
"I remember something about a belief. It was said that humans were born with two heads and two sets
of arms and legs but connected in the middle. Tapos pinaghiwalay sila. They spend their lives
searching for their other halves to be complete again."
Tumango-tango siya. "Ayun nga kasi. The souls of two connected beings are considered pure. If they
ended up with someone else, the product of that union will have another soul mixed in it. Since
humans can't see the strings to know who they are connected to, most of them end up with the halves
of other pairs. Hanggang sa lumiit nang lumiit ang portion noong original soul."
"Oh... Alam mo, may classmate ako noong high school. Meron syang lola na ang amo ng mukha. Tapos sa
lahat ng magkakapatid sa bawat pamilya nila, may nakakamukha ang lola niya. I always thought that was
weird and a little creepy."
"Hindi maiiwasan yun kapag maraming anak. Kaya mayroong mga anak na kamukha ng mga magulang, kita
yung resemblance, kasi both parents have big chunks of the original souls. In some families, may isa
lang na nagiging kamukha dahil yung biggest chunks of souls ng parents e napunta lang sa isang anak
na 'yon. At depende sa dominance ng soul kung ilan ang magiging kamukha ng isa sa kanila. Mayroon
namang wala talagang kamukha ng kahit sino sa magulang. Maybe because the souls of both parents are
actually many souls jammed up together inside one body. Kumbaga, puro fragments na lang sila."
"May mga clans ba na soulmates talaga ang nakakatuluyan?"
He shook his head. "Sa dami ng tao ngayon sa mundo, that's nearly impossible."
"Then most of us are combinations of so many fragmented souls?"
"Yes. That's why you're complicated. You have fractions of different souls from different beings."
"If that is so, then how can we find our soul mates? Hindi ba connected sila through their souls?
What if their souls are broken?"
"Souls aren't broken evenly, Mina. There are big chunks and small chunks of them. The biggest chunk
of soul will connect to its pair, the other big chunk of soul from another person. That's how it
works."
"You just lost me there."
He chuckled. "Where?"
"Kung ikukumpara sa genes ang souls, then magkamag-anak ang may highest probability na maging soul
mates?"
At tuluyan na syang natawa.
--
"Hey, I'm asking a legit question here," reklamo ko.
"I know. It's just a funny idea. But I understand your confusion. But you see, it's not the biggest
chunk of soul from the parent that is inherited by the child. Kapag kasi may common soul denominator
ang isang dati, they get combined. The largest piece will be the determinant of the match. Hindi ibig
sabihin na namana ng isang anak ang biggest soul ng magulang ay iyon na ang magiging pinakamalaking
parte ng pagkatao nito. And besides, the original souls have been broken to so many pieces, so marami
pa ring options, kahit same kind lang ang pinanggalingan nila."
"Okay." It will take time to process all those information. But there's just this other thing that's
bothering me. How is it relevant with Cai's situation?
"Ah, that's the good part."
"Reincarnation is a lot like recycling, right? But instead of garbage, it's the soul that is re-used.
Different body, same soul."
"Here's the part that is tricky. Reincarnated souls create resemblance. Minsan sa mukha, minsan naman
sa ugali. The souls of those who died were given to the bodies most compatible to them."
"What about their string?"
Out of nowhere, Psyche appeared. She sat between us. "I think I can help explain."
"Fire away."
"It's my job to sever the connection between two souls. Kapag namatay ang isang tao, his soul would
be put to another vessel. As you may know, souls are what draw the strings together. So, if one has
no soul, there will be nothing to connect it to. So I sever the connection to break the soul of those
who have died free. And then they get transferred."
"So kapag pinutol mo yung string connecting Cai and her boyfriend, his soul will be given to someone
else?"
Psyche nodded. "Yes."
"Pero bakit tatlong taon na, connected pa rin silang dalawa?"
It was Cupid who answered. "It's because sometimes, it takes a while for a compatible vessel to
appear."
"So ano yun, meaning yung vessel e isisilang pa lang?"
With their smiles, I got my answer. So how can that be possible? Twenty-four na si Cai. And surely,
she won't fall in love with a baby. I just can't see how it could possibly happen.
"Isa-isa lang, Mina. You can't know all the answers yet. They will reveal themselves in time," Cupid
assured me.
"Ilang taon pa ba ang kailangan niyang antayin bago mangyari 'yon?"
They both shrugged. "Who knows?"
"God's methods of bringing two souls together are very unconventional. You'll be surprised."
--
Great. Now every time I look at Cai, I remember that conversation I've had with Cupid and Psyche. I
wonder how things will turn out. How can a baby equal her dead boyfriend? Iisipin ko pa lang,
naaalibadbaran na ako. When Cai turns fifty, kakasimula pa lang magtrabaho nung lalaki. Kung lalaki
nga yung baby.
E paano kung babae? Wala pa namang gender boundary when it comes to soul mates. The idea is off and
totally weird. Hindi ko talaga maimagine.
How unconventional would God's method be to make it all work out?
"Girl!"
I jumped in surprise. "Cai! Huwag ka namang manggulat!"
"E kasi! You're blocking the door!"
"Sorry." I stepped aside to give way. "Kakarating mo lang?"
"Yeah. Medyo traffic e."
"A, okay..."
Tumayo ako sa tabi nya. We were both facing the giant mirror on the wall. Nagreretouch sya habang
ako, nagpopolbo lang.
She smiled at me when she saw me staring.
"Gusto mong ayusan kita?" she offered.
I shook my head. "No, thanks."
"Excited ka na sa homecoming?"
Oh, right. Bago mag-Christmas break, magkakaroon ng homecoming ang mga dating estudyante ng
department namin. From year 2000 to 2004. Pagkatapos 'yon ng Christmas party ng mga klase, so aside
from that, may Christmas party pa ang buong department and then yung sa faculty lang tapos yung
homecoming, na kami rin ang hosts.
Ang dami tuloy kailanang gawin.
"Pa'no ako mae-excite? Pamparami lang ng trabaho 'yon."
Tumawa sya. "Oo nga e. Maya't maya pa may bumibisitang alumna."
Tama. Nagkagulo sa department namin minsan nung may alumna na dumalaw. Hindi naman ito kasikatan pero
lumabas ito sa TV dati. E narecognize ng mga tao. Ayun, nagpa-autograph. Fan pa naman si dean.
Nang matapos si Cai sa pagre-retouch, sabay na kaming bumalik ng faculty room bago kami pumunta sa
kanya-kanya naming klase.
Along the way, I saw Psyche and Cupid. Nakatayo sila sa gilid. Ngumiti sila pareho nang makita nila
kami.
"Good morning, Mina!" Psyche chirped.
'Hi, Psyche. Ang aga nyo yata?'
Ni-relay ni Cupid kay Psyche ang sinabi ko since she can't hear me anymore.
"Today is the day, Mina," nakangiting sabi ni Cupid.
I frowned. 'A day for what?'
Instead of answering, bumaling sya sa kaliwa nya. Among the sea of students, one man stood out. I
would know him if he's a teacher. But I guess he's not because he doesn't look familiar.
"He's an alumna."
Oh, so that's why. 'What am I to do?'
"You need to push Cai to him," Cupid answered.

'Ha?!'
"This is one of those unique moments, Mina. They have to have contact. So you need to push her."
'P-Pero-'
Umiling si Cupid at tumingin kay Psyche. "She's still not getting it," he told her.
Not getting what?
Psyche sighed. "Gusto mo syang sumaya, di ba?"
I nodded casually. They started walking nang makalampas kami sa kanila. The guy is now only a few
meters away. I don't know what they're up to or if it will work but they got me on wanting to make
Cai happy.
So I pretended to trip and gave Cai a not-so-gentle nudge. Nagkabanggaan sila nung lalaki and then
the most amazing thing happened.
They connected... but not through their ring fingers.
Cai's string glowed and the light traveled from the tip of her ring finger through the guy's heart.
The string entered his chest!
"Sorry!"
"No, it's my fault. I wasn't really looking," said the guy. He helped straighten Cai up. And then
nagpakilala ito sa kanya.
His name is Carlo and he's an alumna. Apparently, kaibigan ito ng isa naming co-teacher at pinadalaw
daw ito agad nang mabalitaang umuwi ito galing states.
Inobserbahan ko si Cai. I waited for any sign of recognition. But it looks like she was just being
polite. May hitsura yung lalaki. Ang ganda rin ng tindig. But it didn't matter to Cai.
Akala ko, once they have connected, magkakaroon na ng instant attraction, but I was wrong. I looked
back at Cupid and Psyche who were standing a few meters away.
'I don't understand what's happening,' I told Cupid.
"In time, Mina. You'll understand everything."
They both disappeared right after.
"Sige ha. May klase pa kasi kami," paalam ni Cai kay Carlo.
"Okay. See you around." Bumaling ito sa akin. "Nice meeting you, Mina."
Nang makaalis ito ay bumaling ako kay Cai. "Nagkakilala ba kami?"
"Pinakilala kita. Hindi ka lang namansin."
"Oh, sorry."
"Let's go."
We started walking again.
"Cai, gwapo nya 'no?"
"Huh? Oo. Bakit? Type mo?"
Agad akong umiling. "I was thinking of pairing him to you."
That made her laugh. "Sorry, Mina. I'm not interested."
####################################
Chapter 48: Meant To Be
####################################
"Cai said she wasn't interested in Carlo."
"Well, they just met. You need to give it more time."
"Hindi ba dapat may instant connection?" kunot-noo kong tanong.
"Yes, but they're a different case."
Oh, right. They didn't connect like the usual. "Why did Cai's string connect to Carlo's heart? Why
not on his ring finger? What was that supposed to mean?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Of course!"
He patted the space next to the space next to him. I sat there, a few inches away from him.
"What's your theory?" he asked.
"Heart transplant?" hula ko.
"Hm, not even close."
I grunted. "That's all I have."
"You didn't think hard enough."
"Well, because it still baffles me! Unang beses ko kayang makakita ng ganoon."
"But it's familiar, right?"
I nodded. It is. It's the kind of connection that can only be found to those who were meant to give
their hearts to God. But Cai can't be one of those people. The string connected to someone else's
heart, not to her own.
"Variation ba yun ng ganong connection?" tanong ko kay Cupid.
He shook his head. Shoot, wrong again. "He has something that she will want someday. It's the thing
that will bind them together but wouldn't necessarily pair them up."
"And how does that fit into the topic of reincarnation?"
"You'll see."
--
Third week na ng December. Halos lahat ng tao sa school, sa Pasko na nakatutok. Since we have the
alumni homecoming ahead, we were extra busy. I gave my class a little treat. I didn't teach that day.
Nagpa-quiz nga lang ako from our previous lectures.
Since it's also the third week, it means that the Christmas party is just a few days ahead. Tradisyon
na yata sa lahat ng school na kailangang may monito/monita or Secret Santa. So, to go along with the
tradition, I put the names of my class on a box and asked each one of them to pick one paper.
Cupid was right there, next to the box. At kapag may kumukuha ng papel, nakikidutdot sya.
'What are you doing?'
"Interfering," nakangiti niyang sagot.

'Why?'
"Because it's my job. Signs, remember?"
I frowned because I remember but I don't see the relevance.
"You'll see," he assured me.
Nang makakuha na ang lahat, Cupid pointed at Ei and Je. Nagpalitan ang dalawa ng papel.
'Why would they do that?' Sasawayin ko na sana sila pero pinigilan nya ako.
"Je got Jeron's name and Jeron got hers. Eileen wanted to exchange with Je so she could be his
monita."
'Pumayag naman si Je?'
He shrugged. "Friends before boys..."
I groaned inwardly. It would have been nice to have them exchange gifts. Yung moment na na-reveal na
yung mga Secret Santa nila. Ang cute sana. Basag kasi si Ei. Hindi ko naman ito masisi. She likes
Jeron too. Haynaku. Bakit kasi ang komplikado?
'I wish that she would just step up and take her chance. Hindi 'yong palagi syang nagpaparaya.'
"Bamboos have to bow down to the strong wind so they could survive it."
'Ayan ka na naman sa mga talinghaga mo.'
He smiled. "I know you understood."
I did.
--
Later that day, Joseph pulled me aside and invited me to dinner. Out of the blue. He just pulled me
and then asked. What's gotten into him?
"Sure ka?" tanong ko.
He nodded. "Make sure to bring Cai and Silvia."
"Oh, okay."
Kaya naman pala. I can't believe that he can't just ask her out directly. Akalain mong kahit pala
yung mga taong confident, may itinatago ring katorpehan?
I invited Cai and Silvia a while later, just like he asked.
"Mina, you're not sick, right?" paninigurado ni Silvia.
I shook my head. "No. Hindi ko naman sinabing manlilibre ako e."
"Ang lakas ng loob mong mang-invite sa mamahaling resto tapos KKB pala?"
"Hindi. It's someone else's treat."
"Whose?"
"You'll see."
--
Silvia almost backed out when she saw where we're headed.
"I don't think I'm in the mood for Japanese food."
"Huwag nang mag-inarte, friend. Libre na nga o."
"Come on. Just give him a chance," I said to her.
Kunot-noong nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa amin ni Cai before she sighed in defeat. "Fine!"
Cai and I hurried to the backseat so she had to claim the seat next to him. She glared at the both of
us. Nagsimula kaming magkwentuhan ni Cai. Silvia was pitching in from time to time but we cut her off
so she would be forced to talk with Joseph.
At dahil doon, mas lalo syang naging busangot.
We arrived at this expensive-looking Japanese restaurant. Pagkapatay ng makina ng sasakyan, agad na

bumaba si Silvia. Sumunod naman kami. We were ushered inside. Sa apatan kami naupo. Cai sat next to
me so Silvia was again forced to sit next to Joseph.
He looked so grateful.
I'm not a huge fan of Japanese food except for ramen and teriyaki. Sushi makes me sick.
"Ramen lang ang sa 'kin," I told Joseph.
"Mine's seafood yakisoba," Cai said.
Tumikhim si Silvia, knowing that she'll be the next one to order.
"Sa 'yo?" tanong ni Joseph sa kanya.
"Bento box."
"Okay."
"Ay wait! Parang gusto ko rin ng sushi platter."
"Grabe, friend, isa-isa lang!" saway ni Cai.
Sumimangot si Silvia. "Fine. Bento box na lang then."
Joseph called for a waiter and gave out our orders.
"One seafood yakisoba, one ramen, two bento boxes and a sushi platter please. Saka apat na red iced
tea."
The waiter repeated our orders and then went away.
"I'm also in the mood for sushi," Joseph said.
"Uh-huh. I'm sure you are." Cai was hinting something and I'm sure that we all got what that is.
Silvia pretended to be interested on the decor.
--
A few minutes later, our orders arrived. Malalaki yung servings nila so I'm sure na mabubusog ako
kahit hindi ako magkanin. Malaki rin yung sushi platter which by the way was over 700 pesos. Yung
bento box, nasa 400 ang isa. Grabe, he's so willing to spend this much just to have dinner with her.
Alam kasi ni Joseph na hindi sya papansinin ni Silvia kung ito lang ang yayayain nya.
Still, mas tipid kung hindi na kami kasama ni Cai. But I won't complain because the ramen's so good!
"Baka may additional order pa kayo?" tanong ni Joseph sa 'min. Cai and I shook our heads. Bukod sa
busog na kami, parang nakakahiya naman yatang umabuso ng libre.
"Parang gusto ko ng sake."
Pinandilatan ni Cai si Silvia.
"Bakit?" tanong nito sa kaibigan. "Minsan lang makakain ng libre. E di lubusin na!" paliwanag nito.
"Grabe, hindi ka pa ba nabubusog sa kinain mo?"
"Inumin naman yung additional order ko a! Saka ang dami pang sushi. Kailangan ko ng panulak."
"Mas mura ang tubig neng."
"Mas okay yung may lasa."
"Then order iced tea."
"Cai, it's okay," Joseph said. "Kayo? Baka may gusto pa kayo?"
"I'll have Japanese cheesecake," sagot ni Cai.
"You were so indignant with me ordering something pero oorder ka rin pala!"
"Hoy, at least ako yakisoba lang ang kinain ko."
"Kumain ka kaya ng sushi!"
Natawa si Joseph. "Huwag na kayong mag-away. Pagkain lang yan."
"Hindi kami nag-aaway."
"We're just discussing loudly."
It's hard to deny that they're friends. Ganito sila kagulo palagi kapag nagdi-discuss sila.
Joseph shrugged. "Okay, if you say so." Sa akin naman siya tumingin. "Ikaw, Mina, what else do you
want to eat?"
"Uh..." I looked at the menu. Most of the desserts are fairly familiar. I just don't know what they
taste like, given na may Japanese flair na sila. "Azuki ice cream na lang."
"Okay."
He called the waiter again to give our orders. Dahil may sake at may additional food, medyo tumagal
kami sa restaurant. Ang dapat ay maximum of two hours, naging three and a half. It was almost ten
when we finished.
--
"I still have to buy something. You guys go on ahead," paalam ni Cai.
"Pasama, Cai!"
"Ako rin!"
Cai pointed at me. "You, okay." Then she looked at Silvia. "Ikaw, friend, you're a bit drunk na. It's
best na umuwi ka na lang."
"I'm not drunk!"
"Sabi ko 'a bit' lang, di ba?"
"Ihahatid na lang kita," presinta ni Joseph.
"I can go home on my own."
"Friend, sayang ang pamasahe. Pahatid ka na. Huwag nang maarte."
"Cai's right. And it will be safer for you too," dagdag ko naman.
Naningkit ang mga mata ni Silvia but it's three against one. There's no way she'd win the argument.
Saka gusto nya rin namang magpahatid. Ayaw nya lang umamin.
"Fine."
She stomped her way to the car.
"Thanks, guys."
"Ingatan mo yan."
Joseph just waved and followed Silvia.
--
"Wala ka naman talagang bibilhin, 'no?"
Cai chuckled. "Wala."
"You're a good friend, Cai."
That made her smile. "I'm just returning the favour."
"I hope they work out."
"Me too."
"Ikaw, wala kang plano?"
She frowned. "Plano? About what?"
"Mag-boyfriend."
"Mina, I'm fine."
"You're fine being alone?"
She grunted. "Why do people always tie up being alone with loneliness? I'm okay. I don't need a
boyfriend to be happy."
"Pero alam mo, bagay talaga kayo ni Carlo."
"I told you, I'm not interested."
"Maybe not yet."
She stopped walking and sighed. "Why are you pushing it?"
"Because I think it's worth a shot, Cai."

####################################
Chapter 49: The Perfect Couple
####################################
First day ng monito/monita namin. I was kind of excited. Jeron picked Je's name from the box while
she exchanged her pick with Ei's. So now, Ei got Jeron and I don't know who's Je's monito or monita
now. I didn't get at first why Cupid didn't let me interfere. I'm a matchmaker now and if I'm
technically correct, I'm allowed to interfere, like him.
But he won't stop me for a reason and that's what I was excited about. Yesterday afternoon, they
dropped their gifts to a huge box on the faculty room. Today, my subject being their first class, I
was able to bring the gifts with me.
I was really excited to see what kind of gifts they will give.
"Settle down, kids!" I told them. Ang ingay na naman nila. Pare-pareho kaming excited kahit wala
naman akong regalong matatanggap.
Yesterday's theme is something red. Yung ibang regalo, palagay ko'y Maxx na red lang. There's one
standout gift thought. It was a ref bear holding a red heart, sitting on a wire, copper chair.
Attached to it are three little red heart balloons.
First day pa lang. First line of gifts. And this secret Santa's a bit extravagant already. Ang swerte
ng nabunot nito.
I was intrigued by the gift so it's the first thing that I took out from the box. Nakuha ko ang
interes ng klase dahil sa regalong iyon. I looked for a note or a tag on the gift but it bore no
name. So, I set it aside and distributed the rest of the gifts first.
Parang lahat kami naintriga doon sa regalo. It's the only well-presented gift, unlike some na binalot
lang sa scratch paper.
Nang maibigay ko na ang mga regalo ay saka ko ito binalikan.
"Sino'ng hindi pa nakakatanggap?"
Nagtaas ng kamay ang mag-best friend. Well, that's an odd coincidence.
"Baka po kay Ei 'yan, ma'am!"
"Oo nga po."
"Ayeee, kaya naman pala mukhang pinaghandaan yung gift!"
Napangiti si Ei. Si Je naman, nagbaba na lang ng kamay. Cupid, who was at one corner the whole time,
walked towards me and showed me the writing on the piece of paper that he's holding.
It was not handwritten so hindi malalaman kung kanino galing ang note. But it's sweet. One would
really appreciate the gift and the note.
To: Je Luu
Something red for someone special.
From: Your Secret Santa
'Give me that!'
He shook his head. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you will see things unfold in time if you let me do my job."
'Pero ang unfair naman. Si Ei ang makakakuha ng regalo ni Jeron kay Je!'
"Mina, life is an interlacing chain of fair and unfair events. It won't be unfair to some people
forever. It's just something that some humans have to go through at some point in their lives."
'But the gift-'
"You'll see why things happen the way they do. Just give it time."
I sighed. 'Fine. I'm trusting you on this one.'
"Eileen, mukhang sa 'yo yata 'to."

The class hooted when Ei walked towards me. Tinudyo-tudyo nila ito. Meanwhile, Jeron was looking at
bit glum. He glanced at Je and saw that she's so disappointed that she didn't get any gift.
--
Later that day, dumaan ulit sa school si Carlo. He stayed for lunch and offered to give us a treat.
"As far as I can remember, wala namang dentistry course na inu-offer dito sa school natin. How did
you end up being a dentist?" asked Cai, na halos nakakalahati na ang salad na inorder nito.
"We had dentistry back then. It was only for a few years though. Kakaunti kasi ang bilang ng mga
estudyanteng gustong mag-aral ng dentistry. First batch kami. For trial and error ba."
"Oh, so after nyong maka-graduate, they removed it from the system?"
"Yeah."
Silvia joined in a while later. Kasunod nito si Joseph na naupo sa tabi nito.
"Kumain na kayo?" tanong ko sa kanilang dalawa.
"Hindi pa. Katatapos lang kasi ng klase ko," sagot ni Silvia.
"Ikaw, Joseph?" tanong naman ni Cai.
Umiling ito. "I was waiting for her," sagot nito sabay turo kay Silvia.
Nagpalitan kami ni Cai ng makahulugan na tingin.
"So, okay na kayo?" tanong ko sa dalawa.
"Okay?" Kumunot ang noo ni Silvia. "Kelan ba kami hindi naging okay?"
"Parang nung isang araw lang e..."
Kumapit ito sa braso ni Joseph. "We're okay. Okay?"
"Okay," Cai replied with a shrug.
Tapos nagkangitian ang dalawa.
"TFIOS!" they both exclaimed.
"We are so friends talaga!"
Mabuti na lang alam ko yung TFIOS so I can relate, not like the two guys we're with. Halatang
clueless ang mga ito.
"What's TFIOS?" tanong ni Joseph.
"It's a best-selling novel kaya! The Fault in Our Stars by John Green," Silvia answered.
"Oh... I still have no idea what that is."
"Me too," Carlo said. "Dentistry books lang ang napagtatiyagaan kong basahin e."
"Are you kidding me? Those books will give me nightmares!"
Naiiling na nagkatinginan sina Carlo and Joseph. Narealize yata nilang hindi pa sila magkakilala.
"Joseph nga pala, p're. I guess they thought we'd know each other's name by just sitting together."
"Sorry naman," singit ni Silvia. "Joseph, Carlo. Carlo, Joseph. Okay na?"
"Okay."
"Back to TFIOS na naman ba?"
"Let's just order. Nagugutom na 'ko," reklamo ni Silvia.
"I'll order." Joseph stood up. "Ilang kanin ang sa 'yo?"
Sinamaan ni Silvia ng tingin si Joseph.
"Huwag nang mahiya friend. Alam naman na namin ang eating capacity mo," Cai encouraged.
"Isa ka pa!"
"Dali na. Gutom ka, di ba?"
"One rice lang!" sagot ni Silvia. "Pero order ka pa ng dalawang extra rice, J. Baka kulangin ka."
"Ako talaga ha?" natatawang sabi ni Joseph.
"Hey, I caught that. Endearment ba 'yong J?" Cai teased.
"It's a shortcut," Silvia answered.
"What's his shortcut for your name?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"S. For Sexy."
"A, akala ko M."
"For Maganda?"
"No, for Matakaw."
Ang ingay ng table namin dahil sa tawanan. Kumuha si Silvia ng isang dahon ng lettuce from Cai's
plate and threw it at her face. Halos ipagtulakan ni Silvia si Joseph palayo ng table para lang
matapos na ang tawanan. And besides, she was really so hungry. Sinimulan na nga niyang tulungan si
Cai sa pag-ubos ng pagkain nito.
Nang maiwan kaming apat ay kay Carlo naman kami nag-focus. I really wanted Cai to end up with him. I
still don't know the mystery behind their unusual connection but they are connected, so that means na
sila ang nakatadhana... somehow.
Maybe Evan, Cai's dead boyfriend, was reincarnated and is now Carlo. Though hindi ko sure kung may
resemblance ba sila o similarities. Kasi kung meron man, Cai should have been looking at him with
interest by now.
Pero wala. Or maybe she's just hiding it well, like Silvia?
"Carlo, don't you have work here?" Silvia asked.
"Nope. I was just here for vacation."
"You could be spending your vacation somewhere else. Bakit dito ka sa school naglalagi?" tanong ko
naman.
He gave us a meaningful smile. Yung ngiting yun, I hope si Cai ang dahilan. But I was disappointed.
"Nililigawan ko kasi yung kababata ko. Professor sya sa IT department."
"Oh."
"Mina, please don't looks so disappointed," Cai told me.
"Why? Mina! May Raphael ka na 'no!"

'And me. You have me.'
'Cupid! Huwag ka namang nanggugulat!'
He smirked. 'Sorry. Just remember that you have me.' After saying that, he vanished.
"Grabe, hakot girl!"
"It's not like that!" depensa ko.
"She's pairing you up with me," Cai explained to Carlo. "She thinks we're cute together."
Medyo natahimik si Carlo. And then a smile slowly appeared on his face. And then that smile turned to
laughter. Honestly, no one here's taking me seriously.
Nang makita ni Carlo na nakasimangot ako, he was polite enough to stop laughing. Tumikhim siya tapos
ay ngumiti kay Cai.
"Pwede rin siguro. If Florence and I didn't work out, I'll definitely come looking for you."
Silvia scoffed. "I'm warning you, Carlo. My friend's ex had been dead for three years now and she's
not even planning to move on from him. She's a hopeless case na."
"Excuse me, Evan's not my ex!"
"He is, friend. He's long gone."
"Technically, he's still my boyfriend," depensa ni Cai.
Silvia rolled her eyes and turned to Carlo. "I told you."
--
The next day, my students were so excited with the Secret Santa. Lahat na yata ng nakakasalubong ko
na galing sa advisory class ko e iyon ang bukambibig. Wala kaming klase kaya naman hindi ko alam kung
paano ko ibibigay yung mga regalo nila.
But Jason, the class president, asked me if I could see them after class. Para raw sa mga regalo.
Since payag naman silang lahat, pumayag na rin ako.
Nagkita-kita kami sa isang bakanteng classroom bago mag-uwian. And then, I distributed their gifts.
Nadisappoint si Ei nang matanggap niya ang regalo niya. Compared to yesterday, halatang hindi pinag-
isipan ang regalo niya ngayon.
It made sense kasi hindi naman si Jeron ang nakabunot sa kanya.
Je's gift was a total surprise to all of us. Akala ko noong una, may isang absent. Kasi alam kong
nabigyan ko na lahat pero may dalawa pang regalong natitira sa box. First one is a red scarf and
another one is a necklace na may pendant na maliit na grandfather's clock. The theme was something
old. Then there's also a letter for Je.
I just wish that I could read it. Kaso syempre, hindi ko naman pwedeng buksan.
'Do you want me to tell you what the letter says?' Cupid asked.
'Yeah, sure.'
Tumikhim siya at nagsimulang magsalita. He spoke with a smile, as if reading a letter aloud.
"Je, I'm sorry if you did not receive anything yesterday. Please don't think that I've neglected you.
Sana makabawi ako with the red scarf and the necklace. I hope to see you smile today. Love, your
Secret Santa."
####################################
Chapter 50: Hello, Goodbye
####################################
I eyed the little jar with curiosity. Everything seems to be going well for Silvia and Joseph. I
wonder why their names are still not in the jar. They are still not connected. Hindi pa ba nila
nalalampasan ang 5 stages?
"Let me ask you something. Have you heard them say the exact words to each other?" Cupid asked.
"Exact words?"
"Yeah. I love you."
"Oh... hindi pa. Pero baka sinasabi nila 'yon sa isa't isa kung sila lang ang magkasama. Teka,
required ba na exact words na yun dapat ang sasabihin?"
"Those are the magic words, Mina. Like 'open sesame' and 'abrakadabra', 'I love you' has its effects.
It's like a magic key to a whole new perspective."
I nodded. "So they still need to say those words to each other."
"Yes, and they also have to commit to it. From what I can see, they're just in it for fun."
"Silvia loves him since way back and I know that he loves her too. Hindi pa lang siguro nya nare-
realize."
"Well, he has to realize it sooner. Your deadline won't be forgiving, Mina."
Tama sya. I have to get those two to confess somehow. At sana kapag nagawa na nila iyon, mag-commit
na sila for real. Hindi yung laro-laro lang.
--
For our third Secret Santa theme, pinagregalo ko sila ng something funny. It was rather hard to think
about. May ilang hindi nakatanggap ng regalo. Je, like before, received the best gift. Isang minion
na unan. Kapag niyakap iyon, tutunog yung kanta nilang Underwear.
Ilang beses nilang pinagpasa-pasahan yun saka niyayakap ng todo. Ei eyed her best friend enviously. I
don't know how she will react kapag nalaman nya kung sino ang monito ni Je. She'll get crushed for
sure.
--
When lunch break came, I was supposed to eat with Cai, Silvia and Joseph but I received a text
message from Raphael. He's inviting me out for lunch. I haven't heard from him in a while. Akala ko
nga ay umakyat na itong muli sa langit. No pun intended.
So I indulged him. Gusto ko na ring makibalita.
I was shocked when I finally saw him. Naka-beanie sya like the first time I saw him, only this time,
he has no hair on his head. Ang putla-putla nya, parang ilang buwan syang hindi naarawan.
"Okay ka lang ba?"
He smiled weakly. "I'm dying."
Hindi naprocess agad ng utak ko ang sinabi nya. The last time I saw him, he was still healthy. How
can his health deteriorate in such a short time?
"Seryoso ba 'yan?"
"I have cancer, Mina. It's malignant and I'll be gone soon."
"Bakit wala ka sa ospital?" I stood up. "I'll take you there."
He shook his head. "My time is up."
"Don't say that."
I was already tearing up. Sure, we don't see each other often. And he's just passing through Earth
with his current vessel. And this should happen so he could go back to heaven. Pero tao pa rin sya
ngayon. And the idea of him leaving hurts.
Pakiramdam ko isa-isa na silang mawawala. Ilang buwan na lang ba bago matapos ang isang taon ko?
Paano na lang yung mga taong nakilala ko sa loob ng isang taon? How can I bear the thought of them
leaving?
And if I don't succeed, I wouldn't bear leaving them. Either way, it would hurt.
He held my hand as tears began falling.
"Don't cry please. I will go to a better place. You can't be sad about that."
"Why can't you just go when you're old? Mas matatanggap ko pa 'yon e. At least you have lived your
life to the fullest. Not like this... not this early..."
"I don't have the power to decide over the fate of this borrowed life, Mina. I'm merely doing
heaven's will."
"But don't you have your own free will? Since naging tao ka, you had the privilege to experience it,
di ba?"
He smiled and nodded. "I had a taste of free will and though it's completely liberating, it also
scared me at the same time. I don't know if I can survive without heaven's guidance. I'm so used to
doing His will, that thinking for myself terrifies me. I don't think that I am capable of doing
things right when I'm guided by my own head. I'm lost without Him, Mina. He's my navigator. I only go
where he points me to go."
I sighed. I guess he has a point. Though it's kinda sad to see him go, I can't blame him for
following the higher conscience. Free will is one of the many significant things that separate us
from angelic beings. It makes us strong and weak at the same time.
"How long have you got?"
"Not long. I just came to say goodbye."
"Paano na lang ang pamilya mo?" They must have been heartbroken.
"They'll get over it."
"No, they won't."
"Yes, they will. May expiration date lang ang buhay ng tao so you tend to get sentimental over
things. But you move on, always. You will accept the pain caused by a loss and then you will heal."
I squeezed his hand. "I wish I could spend more time with you."
"Even if you want to, you can't. He's back and my time is done. Surely, you don't think that's pure
coincidence?"
Umiling ako. I've seen things happen that might seem to be just mere coincidences when they really
aren't. Something bigger is at play and those things are merely pawns drawn by fate.
"Is there a chance na magkita pa ulit tayo?"
"Hindi ko alam. Pero malay natin."
"I'll miss you, Raphael."

"Thank you. I'll be looking out for you from up there."
--
Dahil sa nalaman kong kondisyon ni Raphael, hindi na tuloy ako naka-concentrate sa pagtuturo. Hindi
ko rin naman kasi masabing unfair for him because that's what he wants. And I know that he'll be
happy up there.
He loves God more than anything and doing his will gives him satisfaction. It keeps him fulfilled. I
just wish na hindi sya sa ganitong paraan mawawala. I mean, come on. Cancer? How cliché is that?
Nakaramdam talaga ako ng awa, lungkot at panghihinayang nang makita ko sya kanina. He used to be
lively, full of drive and want to learn about the existence, essence and purpose of humans.
Earlier today, he was so resigned, like he wanted to rest. But there is also something in his face.
Something that looks like longing, which I guess is because of the fact that he had been away from
heaven for a long time.
Ganoon din ang pakiramdam ko kapag nalalayo ako sa lugar na pamilyar ako. I get drained more easily.
May sense of belonging kasi if you're familiar with the place that you are in. And I think it's also
because of the company you keep.
Maybe, unlike Cupid, he's unfit to be human.
"Who's unfit to be human?"
"Do you always appear when you hear your name?"
Bigla-bigla na lang syang sumusulpot. Kung nataon sigurong nandito pa sina kuya, baka napagkamalan na
nila akong may sayad.
"Only when it's you who called," he answered.
"Flattery will get you nowhere at this point."
"It's okay. Seeing you smile keeps me satisfied."
"Uh-huh." But I still wish he can't read my mind. Well, I want him to read my mind when he needs to
so we could communicate but I really want to keep my private thoughts private. Sana kasi nababasa
lang nya yung gusto kong ipabasa.
"But where's the fun in that?"
"You get to see all the embarrassing parts kasi."
He smiled. "Perks of being me."
"Why can't I read your mind?"
'You can,' he replied using his head to prove a point.
"No. I mean the uncensored kind."
His eyebrow arched. "Do you want to?"
I nodded. "Relationships don't work one way, do they?"
"Are you saying that we're in a relationship?" nakangisi niyang tanong.
"Strictly business." I tried to look as serious as possible but he's grinning so wide. Natawa na lang
ako. "Fine. Whatever this is, it wouldn't last anyway."
"It pains me that you see a thing so beautiful so negatively."
"I live a fantasy life every day, Cupid. I need a sense of reality to keep me sane. Saka ayaw kong
umasa."
He sighed. "I guess you're right."
"Hey, can you do me a favour? Please let me remember everything when the year has ended."
"Why?" kunot-noo nyang tanong. "Hindi ba mas masakit makaalala ng mga bagay na hindi mo na kayang
balikan pa?"
Yes, that's true. This is why people laugh at the horrible memories and cry at the good ones. Madali
na lang kasing tawanan ang mga pagkakamaling nagawa sa nakaraan kasi assured ka na lumipas na 'yon.
But at the same time, it's painful to remember the good things because no matter how much you want to
relive them, there's no way to bring them back as they were before. Unless possible ang time-
travelling, which I doubt.
"Then let me remember this as a dream, so that I'll know how to let it go when I wake up."
####################################
Chapter 51: Those Three Words
####################################
Those three words are said too much but not enough. That song is so right on the money. People who
don't mean them, say them often. People who do, that's a different story. Bakit mahirap sabihin ang
bagay na totoo?
I sighed while looking at those two. The string is glowing alright. Pero hindi nabibreach yung
bandang gitna. Urong-sulong lang. Kailan kaya sila aamin sa isa't isa that what they have is merely
just fleeting fancy?
"Oy, inggit!" Cai poked me with the unused chopsticks.
"Hindi a."
"Ikaw kasi, nakipag-break ka pa," bulong nya sa 'kin, while stealing glances at Silvia and Joseph.
"Hindi naman ako nanghihinayang dun e."
"Ah, right. Kasi may Raphael ka na. Nasa'n na ba 'yong cute na 'yon?"
Agad nawala ang gana ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan ni Raphael. Sumagi sa utak ko ang nakangiti
nyang mukha. I could see his pale but smiling face so clearly, as if he's just standing in front of
me. I put the chopsticks down on the table. Kakaorder lang namin. We were just about to start eating
pero nawalan ako ng gana.
I can't get this thought out of my head. Why eat when we're all going to die anyway?
"Okay ka lang, Mina?" tanong ni Joseph sa 'kin.
I shook my head. "I don't feel like eating anymore."
"It's okay. Akin na lang ang order mo," Silvia volunteered.
Akma nitong kukunin yung order ko na kapapatong pa lang ng waiter nang tapikin ni Cai ang kamay nito.
"Friend, respeto sa nag-order."
"Keri lang 'yan. Si J naman ang magbabayad." She turned to Joseph and smiled sweetly. "Di ba, J?"
Kahit mukhang napilitan lang ay tumango ito. "Yeah, sure," he answered, saka ngumiti.
"Uuwi na 'ko ha," paalam ko sa kanila.
"Sure kang okay ka lang?"

I nodded. "Yes. I'm just tired. Saka gusto ko nang matulog. Big day tomorrow."
Friday na bukas. Christmas party namin. Araw na ng revelations ng mga monito at monita. Natatakot na
ako sa kahihinatnan ng love triangle nina Ei, Jeron at Je Luu. Sina Silvia kasi, hindi na rin
itinuloy ang deal. Busy na si Silvia with Joseph. Si Cai naman, nawalan na ng interes since wala nang
kalaban.
"Sige. Ingat. Thanks sa food!"
--
Kinabukasan, inagahan ko ng pasok para maihanda ng maayos ang mga dadalhin ko sa Christmas party
namin. Pagpasok ko ng classroom, amoy bago lahat. Mukhang bago rin lahat. Ganito ang masaya sa
Christmas Season. Kahit yung mga walang pera, ang daming pambili ng pagkain at damit. People are
kinder too.
"Did you know that Christ was really born in summer? You just celebrate Christmas in December to
coincide with the Pagan's winter solstice."
My eyebrow arched. 'Why are you telling me this? Aren't you supposed to defend the church's beliefs?'
He shrugged. "I'm just stating a fact."
'Uh-huh.'
"You have so many borrowed beliefs. Hindi ko pa rin maisip kung bakit nagpapataasan kayo ng
paniniwala. Nothing is absolutely true, anyway. History just made them seem credible. Kapag may
bagong paniniwala, walang masyadong naniniwala. They go for old beliefs because they think that time
can make it true. It's nonsense if you'll ask me."
'Why are you being like this?'
"Because it's frustrating how you people let each other's different opinions break you apart."
'Well, at least let us celebrate Christmas our way. Since hindi naman namin alam kung alin talaga ang
totoo, maniniwala na lang kami sa paniniwalang nakagisnan na namin.'
"Fine."
'Are you upset?'
He shook his head. "No. I'm frustrated that I can't do anything about it."
He walked out of the room. I sighed. Bakit kaya ang edgy nya ngayon?
"Ma'am, what time po tayo mag-start?"
"Kumpleto na ba?" tanong ko kay Jason.
"Opo."
"O sige, start na tayo sa program."
Nagdasal muna kami bago ang lahat. Tapos, may opening message galing sa 'kin. Pagkatapos noon,
nagsimula na kami sa pagpipresent ng kanya-kanyang numbers. Saglit lang 'yon kasi divided into 5
groups lang naman ang magpi-present.
Next, we played a few games. They also urged me to join. Mabuti na lang ka-vibes ko ang mga
estudyante ko since hindi kami nagkakalayo ng age range.
Then came the most awaited part, eating.
Kagulo ang mga estudyante kong pare-parehong gutom na. We have cakes and spaghetti and buko salad...
the usual.
Hinayaan ko muna silang kumain bago kami mag-proceed sa gift-giving. Dahil marami ang nag-donate ng
handa, most of them went in for second servings.
"Exchange gift na!" they exclaimed.
"Okay na ba lahat? Baka gusto nyo pang kumain?"
"Mamaya na lang, ma'am!"
"Okay." I called Jason to the front. "Start tayo kay Mr. President."
Kinuha ni Jason ang regalo nito sa bag saka ito naglakad-lakad. Then, he stopped in front of Krisnel.
Iniabot nito ang regalo nito habang nagpapalakpakan naman ang mga kaklase nito. It was Krisnel's
turn.
--
Nangangalahati na ang may regalo nang iabot ni Milan ang regalo nito kay Jasper. Jasper gave his gift
to Gaile. Gaile gave it to Shara. And then Shara gave hers to Queenverly. Queenverly gave hers to EJ.
When EJ gave his to Eileen, doon na ako kinabahan.
I was holding my breath when she stood up. Nag-ikot-ikot muna sya bago sya tumigil sa tapat ni Jeron.
Sobrang lakas ng tudyuan nang iabot nya ang regalo nya kay Jeron.
It was Jeron's turn. I took a deep breath. This is more than gift-giving now. For the past days, si
Jeron ang consistent na nagbibigay ng magagandang regalo. Noong unang araw, because of Cupid, I was
forced to give Ei his gift, instead of giving it to Je Luu.
Then he made up for it the next day. No, it's a lot more than gift-giving. I feel like this will be
his way to profess.
When Jeron walked straight towards Je, walang gumawa ng ingay. They were all shocked. Syempre, akala
nila noong una, kay Ei nito ibibigay ang regalo nito.
Kita sa mukha ni Ei ang pagkadismaya. Narealize na siguro nito na kung hindi ito nakipagpalit ng
papel kay Je, the two could have easily exchaned gifts with each other.
It could easily be read as coincidence, yes. But it would hurt nevertheless. When Je accepted the
gift, nagsimula na silang magtuksuan. Jeron was smiling down on her while she looks at Ei uneasily.
Tumayo si Je Luu para ibigay naman ang regalo nito. And then we played some more games.
Marami-rami rin akong natanggap na regalo. Most of them are books because they all know how much I
love to read. But one gift caught my attention.
Three long-stemmed red roses which were bound together by a gold ribbon. The note looked like a
calligraphy. Sa ganda ng sulat, alam ko na agad kung kanino galing.
He was leaning on the doorway, smiling at me.
'Thanks,' I said to him.
He nodded. "Merry Christmas."
--
Nakita kong nag-uusap sa isang tabi sina Je at Jeron. The glow on his side of the string is already
glowing. I think he already told her how he feels about her. But Je's light was going back and forth.
She was still hesitating.
Eileen already left. I think she got upset with the whole thing.
Nakasalubong ko sina Silvia sa pathway. Tapos na rin sa party ang klase nila. They urged me to go
with them to celebrate.
--
Nakauwi ako nang mga bandang alas onse ng gabi. Ang dami kong bitbit dahil sa Christmas party. Agad
akong naghilamos at nagbihis. Maaga pa ako bukas dahil sa homecoming party. Tapos magpa-party pa ang
faculty members sa department namin.
Nakahiga na ako nang mag-ring ang phone ko. Si kuya ang tumatawag.
"Hoy Karmina!"
"Yes, kuya? Hello din sa 'yo."
"Pinapatanong ni mama kung uuwi ka raw."
"Yep. Uuwi ako sa Sunday."
"Siksikan na nun. Baka wala kang masakyan."
"Ayos lang, kuya. Nagpa-reserve na 'ko ng ticket."
Hassle din kasi ang pag-uwi sa 'min lalo na kapag may okasyon. Masakit sa ulo ang haba ng pila.
Mabuti na lang at naimbento ang pagpapareserve ng ticket.
"Okay, sige. Sabihin ko na lang kina mama."
"Kuya, kumusta na kayo dyan?"
"Huh? Okay naman. Sarap-buhay."
"Si Ate Aly?"
"Nasa bahay nila."
"A... okay pa kayo?"
There was a pause before he answered. "Oo naman."
"Hindi convincing, kuya."
"Hindi ko lang kasi alam kung ano'ng gusto nya. Naghi-hint na naman sya na parang gusto nya nang
makasal kaso ayoko na magpropose. Baka mamaya, i-turn down na naman ako."
"Sabi nya take things slow daw muna, di ba?"
"Oo nga."
"O, ayun naman pala e. Maghintay ka ng mga 2 years pa bago ka mag-propose ulit."
"Ayoko. Sya na lang ang gumawa."
Natawa naman ako. Hindi ko maimagine na si Ate Aly ang magpo-propose.
"Adik ka talaga, kuya!"
"Ang aarte nyo kasing mga babae."
"E kasi nga, babae kami."
He sighed. "Ewan. Sya sige, tatawag na lang ulit ako."
"Teka! Pakausap muna kay mama."
"Na kina Aleng Josie, nakikipagtsismisan."
"Alas onse ng gabi?"
"May lamay kasi."
Lamay? May patay na naman sa 'min?
"Sino'ng namatay?"
"Si Manong Pino."
"Oh..." Hindi ko ka-close si Manong Pino. Minsan na noon kaming nahampas ng walis dahil hinahabol
namin yung mga pato sa loob ng bakuran nito. He was a grumpy, old man and most of the kids didn't
like him. Pero noong huling punta ko sa amin, mabait naman na ito.
Nakakalungkot lang na yung mga dating kakilala ko e wala na ngayon, tulad nina Lola Ghen at Lolo RB.
"Kailan pa?" tanong ko kay kuya.
"Kahapon lang. Inatake sa puso."
"Ang lungkot naman."
"Oo nga e. Wala e, ganun talaga."
"Magpa-Pasko pa naman."
"Oo nga. Sakto ngang kakauwi lang nina Ate Marivic. First time pa naman nilang makumpleto ng Pasko."
Parang lalo akong nalungkot. Nasa US ang mga anak ni Manong Pino. Kung uuwi man sila, paisa-isa lang.
Sabi ni Kuya, nag-request daw ang matanda na umuwi silang lahat ngayon. Yung akala nilang masayang
Pasko, nauwi sa lamay. Nakakalungkot lang.
"Kailan daw ang libing?"
"Sabi nila, sa Monday daw. Hindi ko nga sure kung magcecelebrate pa sila ng Pasko e."
"A... sige kuya. Pasabi na lang condolence. Baka sa libing na lang ako makaabot."
"Sige, sige. Pasalubong ha!"
--
Kinabukasan, maaga akong gumising para makatulong ako sa preparations. Also, maaga rin yung Christmas
party namin. On my way to school, nakita ko na naman si Bryan. Though this time, kapatid ni Karen ang
kasama nito. Magka-holding hands ang dalawa.
Napasapo na lang ako. Mukhang may bagong problema na naman.

####################################
Chapter 52: Christmas Break
####################################
I thought everything was going well for Karen and Bryan. Nag-uusap na sila. They were already
interacting with each other. I took it as a good sign. I guess I forgot to include Karen's sister on
the picture.
Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng nangyari. It's been a while since I last saw them. Pero mukhang nagparaya
na naman itong si Karen. Or maybe it was Bryan who made a mistake again. Why can't they just be
honest with each other?
Ah, right. It's because Karen loves her sister and Bryan loves Karen. Ergo, nobody wants to hurt the
people they love. Para silang domino. Kapag pinili ni Bryan si Karen, masasaktan ang kapatid nito. At
kapag nasaktan ang kapatid ni Karen, she will also get hurt because she loves her sister.
But is it better to spare one's heart in expense of the other two?
For Je, Jeron and Eileen, I didn't know what happened next. Ang alam ko lang, Jeron was ready to
profess and commit. Dalawa lang ang pwedeng mangyari. Either tatanggapin iyon ni Je o magpaparaya ito
para sa best friend nito. The latter is more probable, given na halos magkapatid na ang turingan ng
dalawa and though Eileen's older, mas mature ang utak ni Je dito.
We hosted the homecoming as planned but I didn't see any progress between Cai and Carlo. Dinala pa
nga ni Carlo as date yung nililigawan nito e. Cai didn't mind because Cai was not interested. Wala
ring progress between Silvia and Joseph.
So, heto ang status ng lahat ng pinagma-match ko: pending. I guess I will take a break first. After
all, Pasko na. I still have 6 more weeks before my deadline.
--
Nakakalungkot na ang una kong ginawa pagdating ko sa amin ay ang makipaglibing. Nakakalungkot. Hindi
man lang nakapag-Pasko si Manong Pino kasama ang buong pamilya nito. Maybe that's why they all came.
Maybe that's why after all these years, they were finally complete again.
Siguro, subconsciously, alam nilang mangyayari ito.
After the funeral, dinalaw ko ang puntod nina Lola Ghen. Siguro kung nasa pocketbook lang ang istorya
nilang dalawa, magkatabi yung mga puntod nila. Or pwede ring magkasama sila sa iisang puntod. Pero
dahil may kanya-kanya silang pamilya, yung mga asawa nila ang kasama nila.
Someting made me smile though. Dahil ilang hakbang lang ang layo nila sa isa't isa, kitang-kita yung
pagkakadugtong ng string nila. Kind of creepy, I know. But when you know that what connects them is
love, it's a lot less frightening.
--
Kinagabihan, nandoon kami sa kusina sa labas ng bahay para tumulong sa paghahanda para sa noche
buena. Dalawa kasi yung kusina namin. Isa sa loob, kung saan sila madalas nagluluto. Yung kusina sa
labas, ginagamit kapag may special occasion. Para syang isang maliit na bahay. Puro de-uling lahat ng
lutuan doon. May isang malaking prep table sa gitna. Dalawa ang pintuan sa tigkabilang side. Sa isang
tabi, may isang mahabang sink. Nakasabit yung mga gamit sa pagluluto sa tapat nun. Yung malalaking
talyasi, nasa ilalim naman.
Sa kabilang side, may mga cupboards naman na lalagyanan ng mga condiments at pansahog. Mga sampu yata
kaming tulong-tulong sa pagluluto. Inilabas nina papa yung malaking kalang de-uling para doon magluto
ng ulam.
Nandoon din si Ate Jen. I took the opportunity para kumustahin sya. She seemed okay. Ilang buwan na
rin syang buntis. Kaya lang hindi talaga sya mukhang masaya. I heard na umalis na ng bansa si kuya
Kyle. Hindi na raw ito babalik.
If I could only turn back time, tututol ako sa kasal nila ni Kuya Samuel. E malay ko ba namang hindi
pala sya magiging masaya.
"Nasa'n si kuya Sam?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nasa Laguna. May kailangan daw kasi syang asikasuhin e."
"Anong oras sya uuwi?"
She shrugged. "Baka daw maka-Pasko na e."
"Hala. First Christmas nyo together tapos wala sya?"
Ngumiti sya ng pilit. "Ayos lang. Sanay na naman ako."
Balita ko nga palaging wala si Kuya Sam sa bahay. Parang ang hirap naman ng sitwasyon ni Ate Jen.
Ilang buwan na lang, manganganak na sya. Baka naman sa mismong araw ng panganganak nya, nasa ibang
bayan si Kuya Sam.
For sure, kung si Kuya Kyle yun, hinding hindi nito hahayaang mag-isa ai Ate Jen. Tanda ko pa nun,
exam ni kuya Kyle nang magkasakit si Ate Jen. He didn't leave her side. E paano pa kaya kapag
magkakaanak na sila.
Sana kasi, sila na lang ang nagkatuluyan.
--
Kinagabihan, bandang alas dyes, sama-sama kami nina kuya Sic at Ate Aly sa pagsimba. Kasama rin namin
yung iba naming pinsan at pamangkin. Gawain namin 'to tuwing bisperas ng Pasko. Sumisimba kami tuwing
Christmas Eve. Sina mama, bukas pa. Bukas naman, tulog kaming magpipinsan.
Bandang hapon na kami maggagala. Hanggang gabi na 'yon. Sarado ang bahay namin sa mga mamamasko na
pera ang gusto. Husto na sa dami ang mga inaanak namin nina mama kapag pinagsama-sama. Kaya yung mga
hindi namin inaanak, pinapakain na lang namin.
E syempre, dahil Pasko, halos lahat ng kabahayan e may handa. Bago pa man sila makarating sa'min,
busog na sila. Nevertheless, most kids leave room for some buko salad and cakes. Nag-uwi na rin ako
ng maraming chocolates para pambigay. At least mas okay 'yon kesa tiglilimampiso lang ang ipamasko
namin.
Maraming mga nagtitinda sa labas ng simbahan. Aakalain mong sa night market ka pumunta. Katabi pa
naman ng plaza namin yung simbahan. Amoy na amoy ang bibingka at puto-bumbong na niluluto. Sobrang
dami ng tao.
We managed to squeeze inside the church pero nasa bandang hulihan na rin kami. Marami akong nakitang
kakilala ko. Yung iba, mga kaklase kong umuwi pa galing ibang bansa. Pamihadong mag-aaya na naman
sila ng inuman bukas.
Nakita ko si Cupid sa bandang kaliwa ko. For the first time, nag-iba ang outfit nya. He's wearing a
red sweater. Naalala ko tuloy yung mga anime characters na napanuod ko dati. Yung mga hindi
nagpapalit ng damit.
I wonder, naliligo din kaya sya?
Well, he heard me. Bigla syang natawa e.
'I was just wondering.'
"Yeah, it can't be helped."
'So, naliligo ka ba?'
Tumawa sya ulit. "Hulaan mo."
Imposible namang hindi. Naamoy ko naman sya dati. Mabango naman.
"Brings back memories..."
'Yeah.' I gave him a questioning look. 'So, ano nga?'
"Hm, well, taking a bath for us is like eating. We don't need to. Pero pwede naming gawin kung gusto
namin."
'So for indulgence lang?'
He nodded. "Yes."
It must be nice, in a way. Kapag naging katulad nya 'ko, I don't need to eat or take a bath or sleep.
Pangarap ko yun dati. Ang ikli lang kasi ng buhay ng tao. So many things to do, so little time.
Imagine if you don't have to take a bath, eat or sleep, ang laki ng bawas sa oras!
He gave me a disapproving look.

'What? Masamang mangarap?'
"It's a miserable life, Mina... if you can even call this living. After some time, you will long for
some company. And it won't be given to you because you're bound to be alone forever."
'Right.'
Oo nga pala. Kahit maging matchmaker ako for real, I will still feel. I will still be human.
Malulungkot at malulungkot pa rin ako. I guess I have to let go of that notion and just listen to the
priest. Kahit parang ganito rin yung homily last year...
--
Kinabukasan, tanghali na kaming nagising. Wala pa sina mama. For sure, napatigil na naman sila kung
saan. Nag-unahan kami ni kuya pagbaba ng hagdan nang makita naming maraming regalo sa ilalim ng
Christmas tree. Pareho kaming naka-jogging pants at sweater. Ako, nakamedyas pa kaya muntik na akong
madulas sa hagdan.
Sobrang lamig dito sa 'mina tuwing Christmas season. For sure, hanggang February na naman 'to.
Nauna si kuya sa Christmas tree. He grabbed the biggest gift, thinking it was his. Tumawa sya ng
malakas nang makitang nakapangalan yun sa kanya. Aba, swerte.
Gitara ang laman 'non. Naalala kong matagal na nga pala syang nagpaparinig na may magregalo sa kanya
ng gitara. I wonder kung kanino galing yung gift. Kuripot kasi si kuya. Gusto, regalo, imbes na
bumili.
"Kanino galing?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Kay Alyssa," ngiting-ngiti nyang sagot.
"Wow, ang galante ni ate Aly. E ikaw, ano'ng regalo mo sa kanya?"
He just shrugged. Hala, huwag nyang sabihing wala syang ibibigay dun? Naku, mag-aaway na naman sila
'pag nagkataon.
Naghanap din ako ng regalo ko bago pa man magsipunta sa bahay yung mga pamangkin namin. Compared sa
regalo ni kuya, maliit lang yung sa 'kin. As in sobrang liit, saka manipis. I tore the wrapper open.
Isang necklace 'yon. Sa pendant pa lang, alam ko na kung sino ang nagbigay.
The pendant is a golden baby Cupid, with its pointy arrow on the bow, ready to strike someone.
"Did you like it?" he asked. He was standing on the other side of the tree.
'Yes. Thank you!'
He smiled. "Salamat din sa regalo."
Of course, I'll give him something. Pasko e. But I gave it to him a few days ago. It was the red
sweater he wore last night. Meron itong design na cartoonized wings sa likuran. Tapos sa gitna nung
wings, yung lettering na 'ANGEL OF LOVE'.
Akala ko maku-kornihan sya. Muntik ko nang makalimutang narcissist nga pala sya.
"Hey, I can hear you."
'Haha. I know. Did Psyche like my gift?'
"I'll ask." He looked outside the window. "Psyche?"
As if on cue, Psyche suddenly appeared. Iba rin ang suot niya. Kulay white na Grecian gown na
hanggang sa talampakan. Mukha syang Greek goddess. Dagdag pa sa outfit yung gold na dangling earrings
nya tapos yung gold shawl na bigay ko.
Psyche gave me a huge smile, showing off her deep dimples in the process.
"Thanks, Mina."
I just nodded, since she can't hear me.
Napatingin silang pareho sa pintuan nang patakbong pumasok si Ate Aly. May dala-dala itong malaking
baboy na unan. I guess yun ang regalo ni kuya since niyakap sya nito tapos hinalikan sa pisngi.
Well, at least they're okay.
For now, aalisin ko muna sa utak ko yung tatlong natitirang pairs. May hanggang New Year pa ako para
makapagpahinga. January na pala next week. Isang buwan at ilang araw na lang.
Sana makaabot ako sa deadline.

####################################
Chapter 53: Wrong Choices
####################################
It's past Christmas already. We're just waiting for the New Year. Just two or three more days and
then, I'll be back to business. Something came up right after Christmas. I learn from Psyche and
Cupid that Raphael had died. How did they know exactly?
Well, Raphael was called back to heaven and because he's human at a time, he had to die a common
death. Apparently, when his human body died, the fog of obscurity lifted from Cupid and Psyche's
minds.
They already know who Raphael is... or was.
"I'm sorry for not telling you," I told them.
"We understand, Mina. You don't have a choice."
"He told me that he was happy to go." I looked at Cupid and asked, "Will you be happy to go?"
He shook his head. "I'd stay here forever if I can."
"But you don't have free will."
"Free will is an illusion of freedom. You just think that you're free to choose whatever you like,
when in fact, you're just merely pointing on a choice which will lead to a consequence that has
already been set ever since."
"So, you don't have an illusion of freedom?" I asked.
"I have. Angels have free will, we're just made to believe that we don't. We were made to believe
this ever since, so we can't really see things the other way. We're used to following Him. His will
is absolute. It's what we consider right. Without Him, we're lost, because we won't know if we made
the right decisions or not."
"God makes those decisions for us," Psyche added.
"So, bakit pasaway si Cupid?" nakangiti kong tanong.
Cupid scratched the back of his neck and leaned near the window with a smirk.
"Because he's a fool," Psyche answered.
"Sometimes, love clouds our judgments," he defended.
"Nope." Psyche gave him a sweet smile. "Just yours."
--
Luckily for us humans, we are made to think that we can choose whatever we want to choose. So during
New Year's Eve, we lit a lot of firecrackers. Masayang magpakaisip bata minsan. At kapag mga
pamangkin ko ang kasama, masasabihan ka lang ng KJ kung hindi ka magpapakaisip-bata. So, us, adults,
get to be kids during New Year and those kids' parents are assured na may nakabantay sa mga anak
nila. It's a win-win situation.
Though I stayed on the safe kinds of firecrackers. Sina kuya, sinturon ni Hudas ang pinagdiskitahan.
All in all, it was a magical evening. Pagkatapos naming mag-ubos ng mga paputok, pagkain naman ang
inubos namin.
Ayon sa mga pamahiin, kailangang mag-ingay tuwing Bagong Taon to ward off bad spirits. So nag-ingay
kami hanggang umaga. And since medyo isolated ang bahay namin, walang kapitbahay na nagreklamo sa
ingay. Or maybe it's the spirit of an old year coming to its end to give way of something new.
Maybe they're just good sports.
"They be lighting up fireworks in a few minutes," Cupid told me.
'Where?'
"At the plaza."
'Makikita ba namin from here? Matutuwa ang mga bata.'
He shrugged. "Well, yeah. But I know a place with a better view."
I raised an eyebrow. 'Where?'
He pointed at the roof of our house. "Up there."
'Are you kidding me?'
"No."
'How am I supposed to get up there? I can't climb. And you can't touch me."
"But Psyche can." He called out Psyche. "Haul her up," he said to her when she appeared.
Psyche chuckled. "What? Throw her up there?"
"Gently."
I scowled at him.
"Trust me, the view's worth it," he said with a smirk.
Psyche held on to my arm and told me to close my eyes. In a wink, I felt the cold wind on my face.
They told me to open my eyes, just in time for the first firework to shoot up in the air. Psyche
intertwined my fingers with hers.
"We can't let them see you. They'll get worried," she explained.
"But I thought-" I looked at Cupid and then back to Psyche again. "It's his power."
Psyche shrugged and smiled. "He let me borrow it for a while... for this."
"Does this mean that he can't read my mind as well?"
'You bet.'
'Great.'
"Hey, no mental talking when I'm around," reklamo ni Cupid.

'He's trying to be sweet, you know. He wanted to make this special for you, given na ilang linggo na
lang-well, I don't want to bum your New Year.'
'I hope I can make it special for him too,' I admitted.
'You will. Just smile at him and let him do wonders only he can make.'
She looked at the fireworks. Tuwang-tuwa ang mga pamangkin ko sa fireworks. Hindi nila kita lahat
dahil sa layo, but they see enough to enjoy New Year more. Ngayon lang nagka-fireworks dito sa 'min.
Usually kapag fiesta lang. Maybe that's coincidence... but I can't just rule out Cupid.
'He has his ways.'
'It's flattering to have all the attention of one man. More so, an angel. But it also makes me feel
guilty,' I told Psyche. 'He should be helping all those people. Instead, he's only helping me.'
"Guys, come on. Talk to me."
Psyche and I exchanged knowing looks.
'Cut him some slack, Mina. There's only a few weeks left.'
"Hey! You're making me feel uneasy."
I finally gave Cupid some attention.
"Silence makes you feel uneasy?"
"I just want to know what you're talking about me."
"We're not talking about you," I denied.
"I know you are. You have this look on your face every time you talk or think about me."
'He's so full of himself,' I told Psyche.
'No.' She shook her head. 'You're just transparent.'
'Am I?'
She didn't answer. We ended up watching the fireworks until they fade away. Nang matapos na, bumaba
na kami para samahan ang mga pamangkin at pinsan kong mag-videoke. Psyche also lost her mojo. It came
back to Cupid instantly and used it to bug me into spilling out what Psyche and I talked about
earlier.
He only stopped when I went to sleep.
--
The vacation ended so soon. The next thing I know, I'm back to school again. It's good, I guess. I
really want to catch up on things. And things were quite disappointing. There's no development with
Joseph and Silvia's relationship. If I could only help speed up things by blurting out the words for
them, I would have done it a long time ago. Too bad it doesn't work that way.
They have to confess by themselves. Cai's still not interested in Carlo, apparently. At least, not in
a way that I hoped. And Je and Jeron's the most disappointing. Nagulat na lang ako nang mabalitaan
kong nagkakamabutihan na sina Ei and Jeron. I wouldn't have believed it myself, had I not seen the
two of them together.
And what's weirder? The string connecting Je and Jeron was already glowing, which means that they
have completed the stage. And yes, I'm happy to have the hearts engraved with their names inside the
jar.
I just don't understand why they're not together. I mean, it just seemed rational that they would be,
having confessed and committed to the feeling already.
"Sometimes, things work out in unexpected ways."
'It's understandable though. They just have to commit to the feeling, not necessarily to each other.
It's just that, if you'll think about it, what's the use kung hindi naman sila ang magkakatuluyan?'
"Well, for now, friendship wins over love," Cupid replied.
I guess he's right. Sa ngayon, mas importante kay Je ang best friend nyang si Eileen. She knows that
if she chose Jeron, things will fall down the drain between the two of them.
Then, there's Karen and Bryan. Just when I thought that everything was fine between the two, saka
naman nagulo ulit. Parang bumalik sa umpisa. It's Karen or her sister. Maybe if she's younger, she
would have been more selfish. But it turns out, mas mapagparaya ang mga panganay kaysa bunso. Sanay
kasi ang mga bunsong palaging pinagbibigyan, which statistically states that they are more likely to
get spoiled.
It doesn't apply to me though. Or siguro dahil na rin sa kuya kong mas isip-bata pa sa 'kin kaya
hindi ako na-spoil.
"How's your Christmas, Mina?" Cai asked when she caught up with me in the hallway.
"It's good. Ikaw, how's your Christmas?"
She shrugged. "It's okay."
"Let me guess... you're with Evan?"
"Wow, you're psychic!" she said sarcastically.
"Sana man lang, nakipag-celebrate ka rin sa ibang tao. Yung buhay."
"I did. Dinalaw ko sina mama ko sa Pampanga. And I spent New Year with Silvia."
My eyebrow arched. "Talaga? Hindi sila nag-spend ng Christmas break together?" I asked, referring to
Joseph and Silvia.
She shook her head. "No. That would mean commitment."
"What's wrong with that?" I asked with a grunt. They were doing everything every couple would do. So
what's wrong with spending a little more time together?
"Ewan ko sa kanila."
"Someone really has to initiate."
"I agree. And it should be Joseph. There's no way that she'll admit her feelings first."
"Akala ko ba matapang sya? What happened to her confidence?"
"You know, Mina, we all have that fear that we can't get over from. To her, it's rejection."
"And to you, it's letting go."
She stared at me blankly. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. She didn't speak further. Tinapik nya
lang ako sa balikat saka sya umalis.
I sighed. She's right though. Kahit gaano pa katapang ang isang tao, when it comes to someone or
something, we cower before that one great fear of ours.
'And to me, it's eternal solitude.'

####################################
Chapter 54: A Taste
####################################
I now have four pairs inside the jar. Only two more. Limang linggo pa. Kaya ko pang masolusyunan 'to.
But the problem is, I don't see enough of Karen or Bryan to know what's going on. I can only monitor
Silvia and Joseph, who seemed to be taking things very, very, very slow.
Siguro in normal circumstances, I would agree. But I have a deadline here and I'm sorry to be selfish
but they really have to move their asses and connect to each other or else!
Of course, they didn't know that I'm the only one who will take all the punishment for it. Well,
technically, Cupid and I would.
Although Cai and Carlo should not be my concern, I felt like I have to be concerned with Cai. Maybe
she's happy now, even though she's with no one. Pero paano na lang pagkalipas ng ilang taon? Paano na
pag nag-asawa ang best friend nya and she's left alone to fend for herself?
Growing old alone, that's something that we humans avoid. That is why we always seek companionship.
Mahirap tumandang mag-isa.
"There's something we can do to help you with Bryan and Karen."
'Really? What is it?'
"I can lend you my powers, Mina. So that you can become invisible. But the thing is, you won't be
able to communicate with Psyche or with me. You'll be on your own."
'Pwede naman palang ganoon, bakit hindi mo sinabi sa 'kin nung una pa lang?' kunot-noo kong tanong.
"I just thought that it won't be good for you. You know, having a taste of the life you will have if
you did not succeed with your task."
'Oh.'
"But I see now that you need to know what it's like, so that you will realize that it's not okay."
'I'll do it.'
He sighed. "We can only do it during weekends since may pasok ka tuwing weekdays."
'Okay.'
--
So it was set. Nang dumating ang weekend, Psyche and Cupid came by the house. The process requires
the holding of the left hands because the power is to be channeled to the veins on the ring fingers
that are connected to the hearts of the two who will undergo the transference.
Since we can't do that, Psyche tied a gold ribbon around our wrists instead. It's like a man-made
connection that will allow the power to transfer from him to me.
He told me to take a deep breath and close my eyes. No matter how bright it gets, I should not open
my eyes.
"If you can't hear me anymore but you can hear everything else, then it's the right time to open your
eyes."
I nodded and closed my eyes.
For the first few seconds, I didn't feel anything. And then, slowly, I felt the tingling on my feet
start travelling upward. When it got to my knees, things seemed to be radiant. Kapag nakapikit kasi
ang tao, there's still a way of telling if the lights are on or off.
It's just... different.
That's what I was experiencing. And as the tingling reached my face, it became blinding. He was
speaking to me along the way, but his voice became an echo, until it has faded away and all I could
hear is silence.
And then I heard a shout. And then I heard everything.
It was a lot to take in, very overwhelming. Nanunuot sa utak ko ang mga boses. I had to open my eyes.
And when I did, it became quiet again.
I looked around and nothing seemed to have changed. Well, maybe except for the fact that I'm standing
next to myself, who has a ribbon tied around her wrist. A ribbon which connects to Cupid. They-or
rather, we-are not moving. It's like being in a time warp or something.
I tried to touch Cupid but something repelled me.
Maybe that's what it's like for him.
Shrugging it off, I went outside. It was just starting to rain. My initial reaction was to cover my
head with my hands but the rain doesn't seem to fall on me. Parang naging yari sa gabi ang balat ko.
The water is sliding off my arm. I'm practically water-proof!
Naglakad-lakad ako at nagsimulang mag-obserba ng mga tao sa kalsada. Karamihan sa kanila ay

naghahanap ng masisilungan o nagbubukas ng payong. There's still traffic, mas malala pa nga sa
bandang intersection sa may amin.
The strings are still there. They're everywhere. It's fascinating. I don't feel weird staring at
them, dahil ngayon, walang nakakapansin na nakatingin ako. I am free to look as long as I want to.
Nadaanan ko yung mama na nagtitinda ng prutas sa tabi. Napapailaliman ang pwesto niya ng malaking
payong. One woman passed by and their strings connected for a brief moment. But she was already
married and he was with his wife.
Well, there's nothing I can do about it. So I continued walking.
Remembering that Psyche always hitches a ride, I did the same. Sumakay ako ng bus. Nakakakonsensya
tuloy dahil sanay akong nagbabayad. But anyway, ngayon lang naman 'to.
I stared out the window, looking for Karen or Bryan. Nang makita ko si Karen, sumigaw ako agad ng
PARA! pero naalala kong hindi nga pala ako maririnig ng driver. Then, I blinked and I was outside
again. Just like that.
"This is so cool!"
Smiling like an idiot because I feel like I now possess superpowers, I walked towards Karen.
Nakapayong sya at mukhang naglalakad papunta sa school. I followed her to the university. She took
out her ID and swiped it on a sort of swipe-machine at the gate. Agad akong sumunod kasi baka hindi
ako makapasok since wala akong ID.
I later learned that I can just wish to pass and I'll pass.
Anyway, I followed her to a room. Medyo maingay dahil may mga estudyante na nasa loob. Inilagay nya
ang payong nya sa isang timba sa tabi ng pintuan, then she sat on one corner. I realized that she's
not friends with anyone in that class. Wala kasing kumausap sa kanya but she didn't seem to mind.
She pulled out her sweater from her bag. Saka sya naghintay sa pagdating ng teacher. I took a peak on
her notebook and saw that the lecture will go for two hours.
That gives me plenty of time to look for Bryan, which I did.
Kaso hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop ko makikita si Bryan. But lucky for me, I found him in just a
blink of an eye. I just literally blinked my eyes and there he was.
Nasa bahay sya nina Karen. He was sitting at the couch, waiting for someone. And then, that someone
went down the stairs a few minutes later. Karen's sister was a lot taller than her, saka morena.
Hindi mo aakalaing magkapatid ang dalawa. The only resemblance I could find are their chinky eyes.
"Tara na?" aya nito kay Bryan.
Tumango lang siya but I caught him glancing at the stairs.
"Pumasok na si Karen?" tanong niya rito.
"Yep. Kanina pa. Bakit?"
"Wala, natanong ko lang." He stood up and took her hand. He even managed to smile and it's either
observant lang ako or dense talaga yung babae. She couldn't even tell that he's not happy he's with
her.
Or maybe she knows, she's just not minding it. Poor Bryan.
--
They went out on a date, kung kailan lumulurok sa labas. Sumakay sila ng jeep papunta sa Glorietta.
Kasalukuyang nagwiwithdraw si Bryan sa ATM nang mag-ring ang phone ng kapatid ni Karen. Nagkatinginan
silang dalawa.
Sumilip ako kung sino'ng tumatawag. It's Karen.
"Sagutin mo," Bryan told her.
Napilitan itong sumunod.
"Hello, ate."
Nagulat ako nang marinig ko ang matinis na boses ni Karen. Apparently, I can also eavesdrop on phone
conversations. Now, it's piling on my guilt.
"Nasa bahay ka?" tanong nito.
"Wala."
"Darating si papa. Magluto ka."
"Ha? Ikaw na lang. Uuwi ka rin naman mamaya, di ba?" mataray nitong tanong.
"May klase pa ako hanggang 3. Darating si papa ng 12. Wala ka namang pasok. Magluto ka man lang,"
pangaral ni Karen sa kapatid.
"Hindi pwede. Malayo ako sa bahay."
"Kasama mo ba si Bryan? Pakausap nga."
Napatingin ako kay Bryan na nasa isang sulok at naghihintay lang.
"Wala. Ako lang mag-isa."
I don't even know why she lied about that.
"O, wala ka naman palang date ngayon, bakit nasa labas ka? Ang lakas-lakas pa naman ng ulan,"
pangaral ni Karen. "Umuwi ka muna. Magsaing ka man la-"
Karen's sister ended the call.
"Ano'ng sabi? Hinahanap ka?" tanong ni Bryan.
She just shrugged.
I blinked to check on Karen. Nakapangalumbaba sya, kunot ang noo habang nakatitig sa notebook nya.
Mukhang wala syang planong makinig sa lecture. I sat next to her and wondered why she seemed so
upset. Dahil ba sa papa nyang walang pagkaing uuwian o dahil alam nyang magkasama sina Bryan at ang
kapatid nya and she can't tell her sister straight that she knew she's lying?
--
Gabi na nang maisipan kong umuwi. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nalaman kung paano ako makakabalik. I
just figured out that I could go back by touching the golden thread connecting me and Cupid.
I was enveloped by a blinding light and there came that tingling sensation again. Only this time, it
travelled from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing
with Psyche and Cupid.
"So, how did it go?" they asked, almost in chorus.
"It was so cool!" I exclaimed.
Cupid's lips were pressed into a thin line. "You're not supposed to like it."
"But I did." My stomach growled. Of right, I haven't eaten anything since morning. Saka parang
sobrang sakit ng binti ko. Kalalakad ko siguro kanina?
"Once it wears off, mararamdaman mo yung mga normal na mararamdaman mo in an ordinary day," Psyche
explained.
I nodded. "Bibili muna ako ng makakain. Nagugutom na 'ko."
I feel like I could finish three cups of rice tonight.

####################################
Chapter 55: Actions Speak
####################################
I still could not forego the fact that Je and Jeron didn't end up together. They were so close to
reaching the happy ending of their story but they chose to set that aside so that one girl's
happiness would be granted.
They said that there's nothing I can do. As a matchmaker, I can only match the prospects. But they
have to do all the work. I guess that's why those who just rely on fate and do not make efforts to
change their destinies still remain stuck in their comfort zones.
Imbes na manghinayang ako, pinagtuunan ko na lang yung dalawa pang natitira. Mas nag-focus ako kina
Bryan and Karen since mas mahirap yung sitwasyon nila. Kina Silvia kasi, aminan na lang ang kulang.
Kina Bryan, may tendency na mag-end up kagaya ng kina Je kung hindi magagawan ng paraan.
I waited for the weekend to use Cupid's powers again.
"You seemed to be so eager to use it," he said.
"I have to. Konting oras na lang kasi."
"You could at least pretend to not like it."
"But I do like it."
He gave me a disapproving look. I know that he meant well. Ayaw niyang masanay ako. I'm not supposed
to like it. That will be the life that I'll live every day kapag hindi ko na-fulfill ang task ko. And
maybe he also finds it insulting that I like it. Because he had been living that way for quite
sometime now.
"I just don't want you to feel like it's okay to slack because you'll have this amazing power anyway.
I want you to remember that it will be lonely. Wala kang makakausap. Walang makakakita sa 'yo. You
will be alone. I mean, isn't that why you humans struggle to find companionship? Because you don't
want to be alone."
"Okay, okay, I'll remember," I said impatiently.

"Make sure that you do," he insisted. Then he called out to Psyche.
Psyche appeared with a flourish. "Tapos na ba kayong magtalo?" she asked.
"We're not arguing. I'm just reminding her," sagot ni Cupid.
Psyche looked at me and squinted. "He looked angry. What did you do this time?"
Sumimangot ako. "Wala. Natutuwa lang naman kasi ako sa abilities nyo."
"Mina, you shouldn't kasi. It's like addiction. It'll slowly consume you and when you're in too deep
na, that's when you'll realize na masama pala talaga ang pinasok mo," Psyche explained.
"Papangaralan nyo na lang ba akong dalawa? I have something to do and the clock's ticking."
Cupid held out his left hand. I did too. Then Psyche tied our hands together, with safe distance,
with the golden ribbon. I closed my eyes and readied myself for the sensation. But it's not like last
time.
This time, simula paa hanggang ulo, kung saan lumiliwanag, pakiramdam ko ay tinutusok ang katawan ko
ng milyon-milyong karayom. Napapangiwi ako sa sakit, but they warned me not to let go.
Kapag bumitaw kasi ako kung kailan nasa kalagitnaan na ng proseso, hindi nila masisigurado kung
pagmulat ko ay buo pa ako. Maybe when I open my eyes, I will find out that I lost half of me already.
At maaring hindi ko na rin ito makita. Imagine, magiging manananggal ako? Kalahati, putol?! Ang
kalahati raw o yung na-consume na part ng liwanag ay mapupunta sa isang dimension na walang ibang
makakakita kung hindi ako, kung kasamang nadala yung mata ko.
I resisted the urge to open my eyes. Ininda ko ang sakit. Hanggang sa nabalot na rin ng liwanag pati
ang ulo ko. Then came the defeaning sound. I waited until it's eerily quiet and that's when it's safe
enough to open my eyes.
I saw myself standing next to Psyche. Nakapikit ako, pikit na pikit. Nakangiwi pa rin pala ako
hanggang sa huli. But when the noise was gone, so was the pain. Biglang magaan na sa pakiramdam.
Cupid was looking at me-the self I left behind. His face was etched with worry.
Lumabas ako kaagad ng bahay para hanapin sina Karen at Bryan. I closed my eyes and thought of Karen.
And when I opened them, she was standing right in front of me. It was about to rain. Nilakad lang nya
ang school nya this time. Sinabayan ko ang bawat hakbang nya.
Then, something dropped from the sky. Napatingala kami pareho. Mukhang nagsimula na ngang umulan. She
rummaged her bag for an umbrella. Napakunot ang noo nya nang hindi nya iyon makita.
Sumilong muna sya at saka hinalungkat ulit ang bag. When she didn't see the umbrella, she fished out
her phone instead and called her sister.
"Gee, kinuha mo na naman ba yung payong ko?"
"Sorry, ate," narinig kong sabi ng kapatid nya. "Nasira kasi yung payong ko."
"Bakit hindi ka bumili ng bago? Kahit yung tigsi-singkwenta!" pangaral niya sa kapatid. "Nangunguha
ka ng payong ng may payong e alam mong maulan!"
"Ano'ng gusto mo? Ibalik ko sa 'yo? Ang layo-layo mo kaya!"
"Ewan! Sa susunod-" Napamaang siya when her sister ended the call. "Tangina!" gigil na gigil niyang
sabi. Halos maibato na nya ang phone sa inis.
I closed my eyes to check on Karen's sister. When I opened them, nakita kong magkasama na naman sila
ni Bryan. I wonder, wala kaya siyang pasok? Parang palagi silang magkasamang dalawa e. It's not
February yet so malayo-layo pa ang bakasyon.
All I know about Karen and her sister is that they don't have a mother anymore. Tanging papa na lang
nila ang nagtatrabaho para may pampaaral sa kanilang dalawa. Karen's an irregular student pero pareho
sila ng year ng kapatid nito so I'm guessing na tumigil muna ito ng isang taon sa pag-aaral. Maybe to
help out.
It would be very disappointing if she finds out na hindi pumapasok ang kapatid nito.
"Sana sinabi mong wala kang gagamiting payong," sabi sa kanya ni Bryan.
"Yaan mo na."
"Paano uuwi si Karen nyan?" may pag-aalala nitong tanong.
"Diskarte nya na 'yon," sagot naman niya.
"Gee, hindi ka ba naaawa sa ate mo? Baka magkasakit 'yon. Ang payat-payat pa naman 'non," naiiling
nitong tanong sa kanya.
"Bakit ba parang concerned na concerned ka kay ate, ha? Sino ba ang girlfriend mo?" paasik niyang
tanong kay Bryan.
"Bakit ikaw, wala ka man lang concern sa kapatid mo?" He gave her an umbrella, which turned out to be
Gee's. Mukhang ibinigay nya kay Bryan yung payong nya. Siguro umulan noong nag-date sila kaya
pinahiram muna ni Gee yung payong nya kay Bryan. At nung kinailangan nya na ng sariling payong, she
took Karen's. Mali naman talaga. Parang wala syang regard sa kapatid nya.
Gee didn't answer. Nasa mall silang dalawa habang lumulurok na ang ulan sa labas. I wonder how Karen
is faring. Naaalala ko dito si Tita Chinette. Maliit ding babae. Kahit walang sakit, aakalain mong
meron. Sobrang fragile tingnan.
But my auntie is a lot stronger than she looks. Probably stronger than some men. Maybe Karen can
handle the rain. But it didn't stop Bryan from going.
"Bry! Sa'n ka pupunta?!"
Hindi sumagot si Bryan. Dire-deretso lang ito sa paglabas ng mall.
"Kapag hindi ka tumigil, break na tayo!" habol ni Gee dito.
That's when he stopped and looked back.
"E di break."
Napamaang ako. Finally, he's manned up! Gee's as dumbfounded as I am. I followed Bryan. Hindi ko alam
kung paano nya mahahanap si Karen. Alam nya kaya kung nasaan ito?
He fished out his phone. Ah, good point.
Pero nakailang ring na ang phone ni Karen, wala pa ring sagot na narinig si Bryan. Maybe she's under
the pouring rain, already drenched. Maybe she can't answer her phone right now.
I blinked and found Karen, shivering under the cold January rain. Basa na ito. Tanging manipis na
jacket ang nakapandong sa ulo nito. I wish Bryan would find her already. Pero paano?
I blinked again and went back to Bryan. He was already walking along Paseo. Ang bilis nyang maglakad,
halatang nagmamadali. He has this worried look on his face. At least nakitaan ko na rin sya ng
emotion.
Para syang tuod when he's with Gee. With Karen, I already saw him in different emotions.
Una nyang instinct ay ang puntahan si Karen sa school nito. So he rode a bus. Bababa sana sya sa
tapat ng building na iyon but Karen's a few blocks away from there. Psyche and Cupid told me that
matchmakers cannot alter the will of a human being. But they can give signs.
And also, kung magku-concentrate pala ako, I can actually read their minds. Pero hindi ko alam kung
kanino ang aling boses. Parang halo-halo lang sa pandinig ko. I can't tell which is which. This is
probably why bago ko buksan ang mga mata ko during transferrence, maririnig ko halos lahat ng ingay
sa paligid ko.
Maybe that's the untapped potential of a matchmaker. Kung siguro maaaral ko iyon, mas madaling ma-
determine kung kaninong boses ang naririnig ko. But that will take a lot of time. And I don't have
that luxury.
So when I picked out someone's voice na may hinihintay itong landmark to tell kung nasa lugar na ba
ito na dapat nitong puntahan, I seized the opportunity. I didn't know if it would work. But I
whispered something in the girl's ear. Yung babaeng feeling ko na nagmamay-ari nung boses na narinig
ko.
Sabi ko lang sa kanya, "Baka lampas ka na."
Tingin ko tunog-konsensya ako kaya bigla itong nabahala. She looked out the windows pero dahil sa
lakas ng ulan, halos wala nang makita.
Good thing Bryan was standing right next to her. I didn't know if it's wise to call it coincidence
since doing this task proves that there are no coincidences. Kahit kasi yung maliliit na bagay na
akala mo ay wala lang, when you look back, they played a role in your life. Kahit kaliit-liitang
detalye.
And Bryan is that little detail to this girl's life as she is to him.
Bryan gave the girl directions. Sinabi na rin niya kung aling building ang dapat tandaan para makita
nito ang lugar na hinahanap. But finding that landmark is impossible in this kind of wheather.
Maybe he really is kind-hearted. When she asked him to come with her, pumayag siya.
Lumampas ang bus sa school ni Karen. A few blocks later, it finally stopped.
Bumaba ang dalawa at agad itinuro ni Bryan kung saan yung building na hinahanap nung babae.
Nagpasalamat ito saka iyon pinuntahan. Sya naman ay naglakad pabalik. Malapit lang naman ang school
ni Karen. Okay na kahit hindi sumakay ng bus or jeep.
But it was raining very hard. Basa na agad ang pantalon nya hanggang tuhod kahit halos limang minuto
pa lang siyang nakatayo sa side walk.
Napatigil siya nang may madaanan siyang isang babae na nakatalukbong na halos ang mukha. Nakapandong
ito ng manipis na jacket habang yakap-yakap ang gamit nito.
"Karen?" he called out but she didn't hear him.
There's a roof above her head pero nababasa pa rin ito dahil pa-side ways ang ulan. Agad niya itong
nilapitan at pinandungan.
Nang tumunghay ito ay nakita nyang basang-basa ang salamin nito sa mata. Basang-basa na rin ang mukha
nito. He removed his jacket and draped it on her shoulders.
"Bakit nasa 'yo 'yan?" tanong nito sa matinis pero nangangatal na boses. She was pointing at Gee's
umbrella. "Akala ko ba sira 'yan?"
"Pinahiram 'to sa 'kin ni Gee nung isang araw."
"Bruhang 'yon! Nagawa pang magsinungaling sa 'kin!"
He gave her an apologetic smile. Pakiramdam yata niya, kasalanan nya kung bakit ito basang-basa sa
ulanan.
"Sorry."
"Bakit ka nag-so-sorry?"
Umiling siya. "Wala. Ihahatid ba kita sa school nyo?"
"Natural hindi!" sagot nito. "Tingin mo papasok pa ako ng ganito? Para kaya akong tumubog sa swimming
pool!"
"Pwede naman kasing sumagot ng maayos, di ba?"
"Kasi naman. Obvious na nga, nagtatanong pa. Ang tanga mo naman."
I saw his cheeks flushed. Grabe talaga itong si Karen. She could really bring out the worst in him.
Parang gusto na ni Bryan na manapak dahil sa sinabi nito.
"Pasalamat ka-"
"Bakit ako magpapasalamat sa 'yo?"
"Wala."
"Ikaw ang magpasalamat. Pasalamat ka't boyfriend ka ng kapatid ko."
"Ex," he corrected.
Kumunot ang noo ni Karen.
"Huh?"
"Ano, nabingi ka na?"
"Ex?!" She managed to slap the back of his neck. "Gago ka! Bakit ka nakipag-break?!"
"Aray!" Napahimas siya sa batok.
"Alam mo namang may pagka-desperada 'yong kapatid ko!"
"Alam ko."
"E bakit-"
"Kasi..." Tumingin ito sa kanya ng mataman. "May pagkadesperado rin kasi ako."
Karen didn't get it. She looked so confused. Maybe she's trying to decrypt the message that lies
between the lines of his statement. Kahit ako, medyo napakunot din ang noo.
But then, I finally got it. Not because I listened to his words but because I looked at his face.
Tama nga sila, actions (and expressions) speak louder than words.
And his smile spoke the loudest.

####################################
Chapter 56: Confronted
####################################
Face your fears. It's the only way to live a full life.
I followed Karen and Bryan hanggang sa bahay ng magkapatid. Gee was already there, galit na galit ito
nang makitang magkasama ang ate nito at si Bryan, who became her ex just a while ago.
Sinugod nito si Karen. Gamit ang payong, hinampas nito ang kapatid. Pero si Bryan ang tinamaan dahil
pumagitna ito sa dalawa.
"Anong klase kang ate? Mang-aagaw!"
Inihamba nito ulit ang payong.
"Ang landi-landi mo!"
But Bryan was able to block the strike. Naagaw nito ang payong saka itinapon sa isang tabi.
"Ano ba, Gee! Tama na!"
"Ako pa ang malandi?" Karen snapped. "Ikaw nga 'tong imbes na mag-aral e puro pakikipag-date ang
inaatupag! Napaka-selfish mo, alam mo ba 'yon? Nagpapakapagod si papa sa pagtatrabaho para lang
mapag-aral ka. Tumigil ako ng isang taon para masuportahan 'yang course mong ginto ang tuition fee.
Hindi na nga ako bumibili ng kung anu-ano para may pandagdag ka sa allowance mo tapos ikaw, ano'ng
ginagawa mo?
"Pa-date-date ka lang! Pabili-bili ng kung anu-ano! Yung exams mo naman, puro bagsak! Hindi ka
pumapasok! Ako pa ang malandi? Selfish ka na nga, pabaya ka pa! Huwag ka nang magtaka kung walang
nakatagal sa 'yo!"
Sasampalin na sana ni Gee si Karen but the latter was quicker. Napigil nito ang sampal na paparating.
Using her other hand, Karen slapped her sister. Nagulat ito. Siguro kasi, unang beses na pinatulan
ito ni Karen.
"Karen, huwag mo nang patulan!" saway ni Bryan.
"Ano, titiisin ko na naman? Kaya lumalaki ang sungay nyan e, hinahayaan palagi!" Tumingin siya sa
kapatid. "Malaki ka na, Gee. Alam mo na ang tama at mali! Huwag mong gawing excuse ang pagiging bunso
para makuha mo ang gusto mo!"
If only looks could kill...
There's this dark aura all around Gee. Nakakatakot ang talim ng tingin nito. But Karen was equally
defiant. Na para bang ngayon lang siya maglalabas ng sama ng loob na matagal na niyang kinikimkim.
"Ano?" Karen said, taunting her sister. "Magsu-suicide ka na naman? Yan na lang ba ang panakot mo?
Kung gagawin mo 'yan, siguraduin mong mamamatay ka na ha! Mahal ang pampa-ospital!"
"Karen!" saway ulit ni Bryan.
Nanlumo yata si Gee. Napalupagi ito sa sahig. Tapos ay umiyak na lamang ito nang umiyak.
"Kung gusto mo si Bryan, ayan, sa 'yo na." Itinulak ni Karen si Bryan palapit kay Gee. "Hindi ko
kailangan ng lalaki para sumaya."
"Teka!" Napatayo naman si Bryan. "Bakit mo 'ko pinamimigay? Sa 'yo ba 'ko?"
Sinamaan ito ng tingin ni Karen. "Umiiyak na nga 'yong tao, nakuha mo pang magbiro!"
"Bakit? Kasalanan kong umiyak sya?"
"Ay, bwisit!"
Nagulat kami pare-pareho nang biglang tumawa si Gee. Nagpupunas ito ng luha habang tumatawa.
"O? Tuluyan ka nang nasiraan?" biro ni Karen. Mukhang hindi na sya galit. Si Gee, hindi ko
maintindihan kung galit pa o ano. Ang unstable kasi nito. Si Bryan, litong nagpabalik-balik ang
tingin sa magkapatid.
"Nakakainis kayo!" sa wakas ay sabi ni Gee. "Bakit kasi hindi naging kayo dati? Kainis, mga plastik!"
Naumid yata ang dila nung dalawa. Hindi agad sila nakapagsalita.
"Pa'nong hindi ako mai-spoil? Palagi kasi kayong umiiwas na masaktan ako. Kasalanan nyo kung bakit
nasanay ako ng ganito e!" reklamo pa ni Gee.
Bryan squatted in front of her. Ginulo nito ang buhok ni Gee.
"Sorry na. Tahan na."
Pinalis ni Gee ang kamay ni Bryan.
"Tumigil ka nga! Pa'no ako makaka-move on nyan?"
"Agad-agad? May hinahabol ka ba't nagmamadali kang mag-move on?" tanong naman ni Karen sa kapatid.
"Wala naman." Tumayo si Gee. "Magbibihis muna 'ko."
"Ako rin."
Sumunod si Karen kay Gee para magbihis. Naiwan kami ni Bryan sa sala. Hindi makaupo si Bryan kasi
basa rin ang damit nya. Maya-maya'y lumabas si Karen, may dalang shorts saka shirt. Sa papa ata nila.
"Alam mo naman kung nasa'n ang CR," sabi ni Karen dito.
Tumango si Bryan saka nagpuntang CR. Si Karen naman ay bumalik sa kwarto niya. Maya-maya, halos
sabay-sabay silang lumabas. Sina Karen at Gee, sa kanya-kanyang kwarto. Si Bryan, sa CR.
"Gusto nyong kape?" tanong ni Gee sa dalawa.
"Ako na ang magtitimpla. Baka lagyan mo ng lason," sabi ni Karen sa kapatid.
"Grabe ka, ate!"
Tumawa si Karen. "Biro lang. Pero ako na nga. Mag-usap muna kayo."
Nagpuntang kusina si Karen para magtimpla ng kape. Yung dalawa naman ay naupo sa couch. Magkahiwalay
sila. I sat next to Gee. I waited for the both of them to speak up. Pero mukhang wala na ang galit ni
Gee. So ganun lang pala kadali 'yon? Why didn't they do this before? E di sana ayos lang. Konting
sigawan lang pala e.
Kumunot ang noo ni Karen nang madatnan silang tahimik pa rin.
"O? Himala yata. Bakit hindi kayo nagsasalita dyan?"
Tumayo ako nang maupo si Karen sa pwesto ko. Kumuha ng tig-isang tasa ng kape 'yong dalawa.
"Hindi ba kayo naiilang?" tanong ni Bryan.
"Bakit naman kami maiilang?" pabalik na tanong ni Karen.
"Kasi-"
"Bago ka pa naman dumating sa buhay namin, magkasama na kaming dalawa," sagot ni Gee.
"Wala naman akong sinabing dahil sa 'kin e."
"Kahit naman di mo sabihin, 'yon naman ang gusto mong iparating, di ba?" tanong dito ni Karen.
Bryan shrugged.
"So, pa'no na ngayon?"
"Ano'ng pa'no?"
"Tayong tatlo."
Nagkatinginan sila pare-pareho.
"Ewan ko," sagot ni Gee. "Labas na 'ko dyan."
"Ikaw?" tanong ni Bryan kay Karen.
"Labas na din ako dyan," sagot niya.
"Ang gulo nyo naman!"
Tumawa ang magkapatid. "Gano'n talaga!"
--
I went home that day, not really knowing how to conclude what happened. They made up and all, pero
hindi pa rin nagku-connect 'yong kina Karen at Bryan. Indirect pa kasi. Magulo pa. Pero at least,
okay na 'yong magkapatid. Meron pa ring positive outcome 'yong nangyari.
Sinabi ko kina Psyche at Cupid ang nangyari.
"Maybe you'll have better luck next time," Psyche said.
"Pero last weekend na ng January 'yon. May dalawa pa akong prospects!"
"You can't rush everything, Mina. And who knows? Maybe two weeks are enough."
I grunted. "I highly doubt it."
"But we don't doubt you," sabat naman ni Cupid.
"Yeah, easy for you to say."
"Easy? Do you think it was easy to entrust you with everything? Huwag mo naman sanang kalimutan na
damay din ako kapag hindi mo nagawa ang task mo," malumanay niyang sabi.
"Oo na. Sorry, pagod lang."
--
Monday na naman. Last week ng January. I can't believe that it's already February next week. May
dalawa pa akong kulang. Kasya na kaya 'yong natitirang time ko?
Papasok na ako sa una kong klase nang mapadaan ako sa room kung nasaan ang advisory class ko. Wala pa
silang teacher so sumilip ako sa loob. Maingay pa rin sila. Paano na kaya kung hindi ko magawa 'yong
task? Kahit madalas sumakit ang ulo ko dahil sa pag-intindi ng mga estudyante, I will surely miss
them.
Mukhang okay na rin sina Je, Jeron at Ei dahil nagkikwentuhan na silang tatlo sa isang tabi. Barka-
barkada na ulit. Iyan ang hirap kapag kaibigan mo yung gusto mo e. O kaya kung kaibigan ang karibal.
Nakita ako ni Milan. Kumaway sya sa 'kin.
"Good morning, ma'am!"
Tumango ako at ngumiti. "Morning!"
Nagsitinginan na rin sa 'kin 'yong iba.
"Sino'ng teacher nyo?"
"Si Ms. Cortado po!" sagot ng isa.
"Wala pa?"
"Opo. Five minutes na pong late!"
"A, antayin nyo na lang. Baka may ginawa lang," sabi ko sa kanila bago ako magpaalam.
--
Pagkatapos ng una kong klase, bumalik ako sa faculty para magpahinga. May vacant ako ng one hour bago
ang next class ko.
"Mina, nakita mo si Silvia?" tanong sa 'kin ni Joseph na kapapasok lang ng faculty. Mukhang kakatapos
lang din ng klase nya.
"Hindi e. Baka nasa klase nya pa?"
"Sa section mo?" Umiling sya. "Hindi raw sya dumating e."
"Itanong mo na lang kay Cai. Hindi ko rin alam e."
--
When lunch came, Joseph sat with us. Aligaga ito. Hindi ko pa rin nakikita si Silvia.
"Asan ba sya?" tanong ko kay Cai, na kumakain ng tuna sandwich.
"May sakit," sagot nito pagkainom ng juice. "Nilantakan kasi 'yong isang galong ice cream kahapon."
"Bakit?" kunot-noong tanong ni Joseph.
"Depressed e."
"Bakit?" tanong ko naman.
Cai shrugged. "I'm not sure. Ayaw nyang sabihin e."
Sabay kaming napatingin ni Cai kay Joseph, na nakakunot pa rin ang noo.
"What?" he asked.
"Ano na namang ginawa mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Wala!"
"Ano'ng ginawa nyo nung weekend?"
"Wala! Di nga kami nagkita e."
"Ay. Baka kaya nagtampo?"
"Sabi nya kasi, uuwi raw sya sa kanila," paliwanag ni Joseph.
"Hindi ka inaya?"
Umiling sya. "Bakit naman nya 'ko aayain?"
"E di ba, mag-ano kayo?"
"Mag-ano?"
"Something?"
"Boyfriend?" I asked, fishing for a confirmation.
Hindi na nakasagot si Joseph. I guess hindi nya rin alam. What's the real score between them? Kahit
sila, hindi nila alam e. Iyan ang hirap sa M.U. Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi. Ipabasa ko kaya sa kanila
'yong book ni Noringai para matauhan sila?
Ang hirap kaya ng walang label. Hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar. Palagi ka na lang makikiramdam.
Tulad nung weekend. Siguro gusto ni Silvia na ayain si Joseph to meet her family pero naisip yata
nito na parang hindi tama.
Hindi naman nito boyfriend si Joseph para ipakilala sa pamilya nito.
And Joseph? Maybe he was itching to ask her to invite him. But that will just pose an unanswerable
question-for the time being-why?
####################################
Chapter 57: The Hardest Things To Say
####################################
Wednesday na nang makapasok si Silvia. She looked like she lost some weight. Wala yung usual
confident and vibrant aura nya. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung dahil yun sa sakit or depression. Maybe
both.
"Silvia, okay ka na?" tanong ko sa kanya.
She smiled a little. "Yeah, thanks."
"Pinag-alala mo kami. Hindi ka man lang nag-text."
"Nawalan kasi ng kuryente," pagdadahilan nya. I don't know why I didn't believe that. Oh, right.
Maybe because I used to use that lie before. Walang kuryente. Walang signal. Naka-silent ang phone.
Anything that will be an excuse kung bakit hindi nagpaparamdam. May mga panahon kasing gusto mo lang
mapag-isa. You appreciate the care and concern but you don't necessarily want them. At least, not at
the moment.
"Ganun ba?" sabi ko na lang. How can I tell her that I know she's lying without offending her? Baka
sabihin pang nanghihimasok ako. "Nga pala, Joseph was worried."
"Hm." Yun lang ang sagot nya.
I took out the book from my bag. Noringai's Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi. It will be like a slap in the
face, for sure. Tinatalakay kasi nito yung tungkol sa mga mag-M.U. Yung tipong parang kayo, pero
parang hindi rin. May something, pero hindi ka sure kung mapanghahawakan mo. Mutual understanding is
an excuse to not commit. And since commitment is one of the foundations of a good relationship,
without it, the relationship is shaky. Pwedeng gumuho anytime. Pwedeng kumalas ang isa sa dalawang
magkarelasyon. And when that happens, the other can't really blame the partner for quitting or
leaving. Dahil ang kung anumang mayroon sa kanilang dalawa, nakasulat lang sa hangin.
"Silvia, o." Iniabot ko sa kanya yung libro. "Basahin mo. Maganda 'yan."
She frowned. "What's this about?"
I smiled at her before going to my first class. "Basically... you."
--
'Talaga bang ayos na sina Karen?' tanong ko kay Cupid habang may pinapagawa ako sa klase. Everyone's
excited for the event for Valentine's, hindi pa man pumapasok ang buwan ng Pebrero.
May Valentine Fair kasi na magaganap. A chance for lovers to celebrate and for the singles to do
either of the two: mope or mingle.
Me? I'm just dreading the day.
'Relax. There's still plenty of time,' sabi niya sa 'kin.
'Plenty? Samantalang a few months ago, inuurat mo 'ko a.'
He chuckled. 'At least we're only down for two this time. And they're both on the verge of cracking.'
'Well, yeah, you're right. But I'm worried about Karen and Bryan. Parang may mali e. O baka sadyang
paranoid lang ako. I mean, it was too easy.'
'Lahat naman ng bagay, nagsisimula sa maliit e. Pinapalaki nyo lang. Fights often start with
something petty, tapos lalaki nang lalaki kasi patuloy na ginagatungan. If you won't put it out, it
won't die. Hindi mahirap ang magpatawad. Ang mahirap ay ang magpakababa. Because it's like admitting
to yourself that you are wrong, and you people don't seem to like that.'
'So, are they really okay?'
'Yeah, don't worry about them. Minsan kailangan lang ng paliwanag. When you start seeing sense again,
mas madaling maa-analyze ang problema. At madalas, mapapansin ninyo na wala naman talaga o kaya
namang balewalain. You can get past the problem. Just be the bigger person.'
I sighed. I hope that's reallly the case.
'Pero hindi pa rin sila nagku-connect. I don't know if it's because of Gee o talagang nahihiya lang
sila.'
'Without Gee in the picture, I think the bigger problems are themselves. They're so used to setting
aside things for other people. Ngayon na wala nang kailangang pagbigyan, parang hindi sila sanay.
Nakakailang. Nakakatakot. Dahil wala na silang magagamit na excuse for not getting together. Love is
truly a scary thing.'
With those words, he kinda drifted away. I mean, with his thoughts.
Love is truly a scary thing. Because it's like taking a leap from the edge of the cliff or walking
blindly. Hindi mo alam kung ano ang kalalabasan, kung saan ka pupunta o kung magiging maayos ba ang
lahat once you take that risk.
But I guess it's just like a tall hurdle that we need to get over with. Pagkatapos noon, okay na.
Siguro paulit-ulit ka pa ring masusubok, but at least you took the first step. Ganoon naman talaga
siguro. Sa una lang mahirap.
--
"Leche ka, Mina!" salubong sa 'kin ng umiiyak na si Silvia nang bumalik ako sa faculty room before
lunch. May hawak-hawak syang tissue, mugtong-mugto ang mata.
"Bakit? Ano'ng kasalanan ko sa 'yo?!"
She practically threw the book at me. "Ayan!"
"Natapos mo na?"
"Oo! Binasa ko sa klase kanina. I had to excuse myself kasi tumutulo na ang luha ko. Sabi ko na lang,
masama pa ang pakiramdam ko," sagot nya. "Bakit ba kasi pinabasa mo pa sa 'kin yan!"
"E kasi para matauhan ka."
"Ukinam!"
Natawa ako. Alam kong mura 'yon. Hindi ko lang alam ang ibig sabihin.
"Huwag mo nga akong bini-Bisaya dyan."
"Hindi Bisaya yun, sira."
"E di kung anumang language yun," I said with a shrug. "Gusto ko lang namang ipa-realize sa 'yo na
wala kayong patutunguhan sa M.U-M.U na 'yan e. Nabasa mo na yung tungkol sa MOA?"
"Oo, shet!" Kumuha sya ulit ng tissue, mukhang naiiyak na naman. "Alam mo bang hagulhol ako dun!
Sobra!"
"So alam mo na siguro ang mangyayari kung hindi ka committed? He can leave you anytime and you won't
be able to do anything about it."
She fell silent. I guess I struck gold. But knowing her, wala syang gagawin. Ang taas din ng pride ng
taong 'to e. Hindi marunong mag-initiate. I get it na babae sya. Pero modern times na naman. Women
can speak up and take the initiative. It's not being agressive per se. It's knowing what you want and
getting it.
But I guess, kahit gaano pa sya ka-liberal, pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay, old-fashioned sya. Mas
mabuti pa sigurong si Joseph na lang ang kausapin ko.
Or better yet, I'll lend him the book.
--
When I came home that night, I realized that I had absolutely nothing to do. Hindi pa ako kinu-
contact ni Raice about my book. Si kuya, wala na yatang balak bumalik dito. So mag-isa na lang ako.
Well, not totally.
"Hi, Mina."
Psyche sat on my bed. Bumangon ako. Gusto ko sanang matulog kanina kaso masyado pang maaga. Hindi ako
dinalaw ng antok.
"Hello, Psyche."
Nagulat ako nang bigla nya akong hinalikan sa pisngi.
"Pinabibigay nya," nakangiti nyang sabi.
I suddenly felt warm.
"You do know that this is verging on lesbianism, right?"
"Why? Because I look like a girl?" Tumawa sya nang tumango ako. "Mina, like I told you before, our
names, our bodies, our identities that you got to know, they were just made para may pagkakakilanlan
kami during our time with you. Malay mo, the next time na magkita tayo, lalaki na 'ko."
And that thought was really creepy.
"Stop it. You're scaring her."
Napatingin kami pareho kay Cupid. He's standing near the window, with a playful smile on his lips.
"How come na pakiramdam ko, nang-aabala ako kahit nauna ako sa 'yo rito?" nakangusong tanong ni
Psyche. "Should I leave you two alone?"
"Please," he answered before I could open my mouth to say otherwise.
With a snap, Psyche was gone. When Cupid walked towards the bed, I curled myself up to a ball,
leaving a few good feet of space between us.
He sat on the edge of the bed, sa paanan nito. Then he looked at me and smiled.
"Why do you feel awkward? It's just me," sabi niya.
"Stop reading my mind."
"Sorry. I can't help it."
He let out a sigh. Saka niya itiuon ang dalawang kamay sa kama at nag-lean ng kaunti patalikod.
"Ang bigat nun a," puna ko. "Are you thinking about it too?"
"About what? The end?" He nodded. "Yeah. Everyday."
"How will that work? I mean, if I managed to do things right on time, what then? Bigla ka na lang
bang mawawala? Will we be able to say goodbye, at least?"
"Hindi ko alam. Pero mas gusto ko yung una, yung bigla na lang akong mawawala. It'll be a lot
easier."
"For you. But what about me?"
"Maybe we can ask Him to make you forget it too. Siguro naman, pagbibigyan Niya tayo."
"But I don't want to forget you," malungkot kong sabi. I want to remember him. I want to have this as
a part of my past, my being. Ayoko lang makaramdam ng sakit, ng lungkot. Because I know it might be
like remembering the things that I did and realizing that I couldn't do them anymore. Na lumipas na
yung oras. Na hindi ko na mababalikan yung panahon. Crap, I don't want to cry.
That is why I wrote the story in the first place. I want proof that he existed, that he did happen. I
want to assure myself, kahit ako lang ang nakakaalam, that he became a part of me.
"Then I hope that of all the things that happened, you'll remember this the most: I have loved, am
loving and will always love you even if I can't remember why."
I bit my lip, fighting the urge to cry.
"I-I love you too."

####################################
Chapter 58: Drizzle
####################################
"I-I love you too."
He looked surprised. And I was surprised as well. I thought that he could read everything inside my
head.
"Not everything," he said, smiling.
His cheeks turned pink. I guess it's because it's the first time that I said those words to him-out
loud. Hopefully, it's not the last.
"Then say it again. Masarap pakinggan."
I wrinkled my nose. "Ayoko. Baka masanay ka."
I said that in a half-joking manner, maybe to draw out a few laughs, but I became sadder instead.
Baka nga hindi ko na maulit. For all I know, the last two pairs could connect tomorrow or the next
day or the next... and he will suddenly disappear, leaving me like a city after a powerful storm:
damaged.
"Sige na nga, uulitin ko na. I lo-" But I stopped mid-sentence because he started shaking his head.
"Just let me savor the first one," nakangiti niyang sabi.
I blushed. Did I appear too eager? I just want to make him happy. "O-Okay."
"I am happy, very much so," he said, replying to what I had thought of. "I can't even begin to
describe the feeling. It's like... getting high and drunk. Heady, to the point where you just want to
lose yourself in the moment, before it fades away and become a memory."
"You must be exaggerating."
He smirked. "I wish I am."
--
For the next few days, he didn't leave my side. And I know I should be happy, ecstatic even. But at
the back of my mind, I can't help but think about the end. Parang senior year lang sa high school.
Ganoon ang pakiramdam.
Sa apat na taon mong pakikipagkabuno sa mga subjects, teachers at extra-curricular activities, dapat
ay malaki ang pasasalamat mo na matatapos ka na. But if you look at your friends and your school,
yung bulletin boards, yung activity calendar, yung area na sa sobrang dami ng puno, araw-araw kayong
pagod sa kawawalis... hindi mo mapigilang malungkot. Kasi kahit pa sabihin mong sawang-sawa ka na at
gusto mo ng matapos lahat, alam mong kapag nakaalis ka na, hindi mo na mababalikan yung dati.
Maybe you could go back to the place or see old faces, but there will be something missing. Something
that cannot be brought back from the past.
I don't want our story to end. Pero kung hindi naman ito matatapos, pareho lang kaming magiging
miserable.
February 1. The first day of the last month. Something odd happened.
I feel like I was awake, but I was lying down. I couldn't get up. Pinipilit kong bumangon pero parang
hinang-hina ako. I was inside an unfamiliar room. Everything was white. I looked to my left, but the
bright light from a lamp blinded me that I had to look away.
Then, I saw someone familiar. Si Lola Ghen.
Yumuko siya at ngumiti sa 'kin. Pakiramdam ko ay ginapangan ng kilabot ang buo kong katawan.
"Mina."
Her voice echoed inside my head. Then everything became blurry...
Nagising ako na umiiyak. Ang bigat-bigat ng pakiramdam ko, na para bang namatayan ako. Ironically, I
saw someone who died not too long ago in my dream. Sabi nila, may rason daw kung bakit dinadalaw ka
ng isang yumao sa panaginip mo. Maybe to warn you or send a message about an unfinished business. But
with Lola Ghen, hindi ko alam kung ano ang rason na iyon.
She just called out my name. And then everything faded.
"Are you okay?"
Napapitlag ako sa gulat.
"Sorry," he said. He looked worried. "You were having a nightmare. I had to look inside your head.
Since yun lang naman ang kaya kong gawin."
"Did you pull me out?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I wish I could, but even there, I could not touch you."
"P-Pakiramdam ko kasi... may humila sa 'kin."
Pinangilabutan ako sa sinabi ko. Ang ganda-ganda ng umaga kahit medyo makulimlim pero naging scene sa
isang horror movie ang paggising ko.
"Stop thinking about it. Masisira lang ang umaga mo."
I tried to follow his advice. I tried to think about other things. Thankfully, Silvia and Joseph kept
me occupied.
When I gave Joseph the book yesterday, my aim was to make him realize the things that he needs to do.
What I did not expect was the confusing vibe that I got the moment I entered the faculty room.
It was like any other day. Maingay dahil sa dami ng kwentuhan. May mga teacher na kumakain, may
nagbabasa, may nagti-tsismisan lang... Silang dalawa, tahimik. And they both looked at me like I have
wronged them.
"Ano'ng meron?" tanong ko kay Cai.
"May contest kasi sila. Paunahang patayin sa nakakasindak na tingin si Karmina," sagot nya.
"Grabe naman. Ano na naman ang ginawa ko?"
"O, heto." Iniabot nya sa 'kin yung librong sinulat ni Noringai. "Binasa ko muna pagkabigay ni
Joseph."
"May sinabi ba sya?"
Umiling si Cai. "He just grunted like a grumpy old man. I'm telling you, Mina, kahit pag-untugin mo
yata yang dalawang 'yan, wala kang mapapala. They will just shut themselves up."
I resigned to my seat. "Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa kanila."
Tumayo si Silvia dala ang mga gamit nito para sa klase. She went out of the room first. Then, five
minutes later, sumunod si Joseph.
Nagkatinginan na lang kami ni Cai.
--
I waited so bad for the weekend to come. Since walang progress kina Silvia, I thought I'd try to
focus on Bryan and Karen for the meantime. Isa lang naman ang issue ko sa dalawang pair e. Pare-
pareho silang takot umamin. Kasi pare-pareho silang takot mabigo, kahit hindi naman mukhang mabibigo
sila.
It's like there's a door in front of them and all they have to do is open it. Pero hindi nila
binubuksan kasi natatakot silang malaman kung ano ang nasa likod nito.
"Where's Psyche?" tanong ko kay Cupid.
She's supposed to be here for the "transference spell", as I call it-since I don't know what it was
exactly. Katatapos ko lang kumain ng marami and I'm so ready to go again. Mas marami kasi akong
energy kapag busog.
"I'm afraid we can't do that anymore, Mina," he replied.
"Why not?"
"It will drain more energy from you than the last two did. I can't allow that."
"Okay." Hindi na ako nagreklamo since he knew this thing better. "What am I going to do then?"
"You're going as you are. I'll come with."
"Sounds like a-"
"-date?" Ngumiti sya.
I gave him a sheepish smile. "A weird one."
--
So we went out on a... well-we went out.
'Saan tayo pupunta?'
'Mamamalengke.'
Did I hear it correctly? 'Mamamalengke?' pag-uulit ko.
'Yeah.'
'Bakit naman tayo mamamalengke? Di ba nga, aasikasuhin natin yung tungkol kina Karen?'
'Oo nga.'
A, baka nasa palengke sila. So, we went to the market, just like he told me. Isinabay ko na rin ang
pamimili ng sarili kong pagkain. Wala na kasing pagkain sa bahay. I usually buy stuff from groceries
and supermarkets. Parang last time kong namalengke sa pamilihang bayan, noong nasa probinsya pa ako.
Umuna syang pumasok sa pamilihan. Sumunod naman ako. Doon sya unang nagpunta sa tindahan ng mga
seafood. He pointed at the fresh squids, turned to me and smiled.
'Gusto mo?' tanong ko sa kanya, to which he nodded vigorously.
I know that he doesn't need to eat, but it's something that he let's himself indulge in. He finds
human food... interesting. Bumili ako ng kalahating kilo since kami lang naman ang kakain. Iyon na
rin ang uulamin ko mamaya para tipid.
'Ano pang ipabibili mo?'
'Sotanghon,' sagot nya.
'Sotanghon?' Kumunot ang noo ko. 'Ano naman ang gagawin ko sa sotanghon?'
'Igigisa, kasama nung squid.'
'A, aadobohin ko sana e.' Pero sige, gisa na lang.
Pumunta kami sa drier part ng market. Kagaya kanina, nakasunod lang ako sa kanya. All the while,
hinihintay kong lumitaw si Karen o si Bryan. Kasi sa pagkakaalam ko, sila naman talaga ang ipinunta
namin dito.
He stopped at one store. I don't know what's so special about it. Medyo nasa dulo na ito, doon sa may
mga tindahan ng bigas. Ako naman, hindi na nagtanong. Dadampot na sana ako ng isang sotanghon at
iaabot sa tindera nang biglang may tinamaan ang kamay ko.
Napakunot ang noo ko nang makita ang isang pulang sinulid na naakaharang sa tindahan. Yeah, no big
deal. I see red strings everyday. Parte na ito ng araw-araw na buhay ko. Pero hindi kagaya ng ibang
pulang sinulid, hindi ito nilampasan ng daliri ko. It's real.
Napansin din yata ng tindera ang tinitingnan ko.
"Pasensya ka na, miss. Mukhang naglalaro na naman ng sinulid ang pamangkin ko."
Narinig kong tumawa ng mahina si Cupid. Naisahan nya ako dun a.
"Emong! Emong! Nasaan ka bang bata ka? Nilisin mo nga 'tong kalat mo at baka may matalapid na naman!"
sigaw ng tindera.
Maya-maya'y isang batang naka-puting sando at blue shorts ang tumakbo papunta sa 'min. I'm guessing
he's Emong. Medyo chubby ito at mukhang bibo. He smiled at me. Tapos biglang nalihis ang tingin nito.
'Can he see you?' I asked Cupid.
'Look at his hand,' he replied.
Tumingin agad ako sa kamay ng bata. There's a sliver of gold in there. Tapos ay bigla itong nawala.
'Matchmaker din sya? But he's too young!'
'Matchmakers are not made, they are born. He's destined to fulfill his job. And it looks like he's
already getting started.'
'But why this early? Ako nga, lately ko lang nalaman na ganito pala ako.'
'Iba-iba naman kasi kayo ng panahon. Ang panahon nya ay ngayon, habang bata pa sya. He'll outgrow it
and live a normal life someday.'
"Ano pa ang bibilhin mo?"
Natigil ako sa pakikipag-usap kay Cupid nang magtanong ang tindera.
"A, bawang po saka sibuyas. Tig-isa lang. Saka toyo, yung nasa plastic bottle."
Pagkabayad ko sa pinamili ko ay nagpaalam na ako kay Emong. It's just a simple way, but he knew. I
guess he already knew who I am kanina pa. He also waved at Cupid, which the latter reciprocated with
a smile.
'May maima-match naman kaya sya?' tanong ko sa kanya.
'Meron na nga syang dalawang napag-match e.'
'Di nga?!'
He grinned. 'Kids can be very persuasive.'
Well, that is true. Pero grabe, at such a young age, he was able to do that?
'Saan na tayo?' tanong ko kay Cupid.
'Sa bigasan.'
Kahit meron pang bigas sa bahay, sinunod ko na lang ang sinabi nya. I still don't see Karen or Bryan.
Kahit nga si Gee, parang gusto ko na ring makita.
"Hindi mo na nga kasi ako kailangang samahan."
Pareho kaming tumigil paglalakad nang makita namin si Karen. Nakabuntot dito si Bryan.
"Sabi kasi ni Gee, bibili ka raw ng bigas. E alangan namang ikaw lang mag-isa ang magbuhat?"
"Bakit? Kaya ko naman."
Tumawa si Bryan. "Nakita mo na ba yang katawan mo?"
"Payat lang ako. Di ako mahina."
"Alam ko," seryosong sabi ni Bryan. "Pero sabi ni Gee, kapag hindi ka raw nagpatulong, hindi sya
maglilinis ng bahay."
"Bwisit na yun, ako pa ang tinakot! E di sabihin mo sa kanya, huwag syang kakain mamaya."
Napakamot ng ulo si Bryan. Pero kahit tinanggihan ni Karen ang tulong nito, he still followed her.
Bumili si Karen ng limang kilong bigas. At kahit ako, sang-ayon kay Bryan. She can't carry that.
Biglang lumapit si Cupid kay Karen. And when she was about to lift the rice, tinuonan niya iyon. Ang
nangyari, bumigat ang bigas at nabitawan ni Karen. Nakakapanghinayang yung natapon.
"Sabi na sa 'yo hindi mo kaya e," Bryan reprimanded.
"Kaya ko kaya! Bigla lang bumigat," paliwanag ni Karen. Si Cupid, nangingiti lang sa isang tabi.
Humingi si Bryan sa tindahan ng isa pang plastic, saka nito inilagay ang bigas doon. Ito na rin ang
nagbuhat. Wala na rin namang nagawa si Karen. Baka kasi maulit na naman yung nangyari. Sayang lang
ang perang pinambili ng bigas.
'Susundan pa ba natin sila?'
'Mamaya na. Bumalik muna tayo sa inyo.'
'Bakit?'
He pointed at the stuff I bought.
'Kain muna tayo.'
'Hindi ka naman nagugutom e. Saka kakakain ko lang.'
'Uulan kasi.'
'Huh?' Pumunta ako sa may labas, doon sa kita ang langit. Ang init-init kaya.
'We better head back before it rains.'
'Mukhang hindi naman uulan e.'
'Paiba-iba ang panahon. Akala mo dahil mainit sa umaga, mainit pa rin pagdating ng hapon. Mabibigla
ka na lang dahil biglang bubuhos ang ulan maya-maya. That's life. It's not always as it is. Trust me
when I say that it will rain. I've been sensing movements from the clouds above.'
'Wow. Pwede ka palang weather forecaster,' I teased.
He smirked. 'Yeah? Well, perks of being me.'
'Paano na sina Karen?'
'We'll have better luck later. Pagkatapos ng ulan, lalabas ulit tayo.'
Hindi na ako nakipagtalo pa. Pero aaminin kong may konting doubt ako sa sinabi nya. Halos wala kasing
ulap sa langit. Sobrang aliwalas. Saka sobrang init. Pero umuwi kami at ipinagluto ko sya ng pagkain.
I also spoke with Raice. Ipapadala daw nya yung sample copy nung libro. Kapag okay na, sisimulan na
ang printing.
Excited na 'ko pero... tapos na yung libro. Matatapos na rin ang kwento ko. I wonder, will there be a
happy ending for me?
As I stare outside my window, it started to drizzle. Clouds started forming, casting shadows on the
ground.
Umulan nga, kagaya ng sinabi nya kanina.

####################################
Chapter 59: Over Barbeque
####################################
Kagaya nga ng sinabi niya kanina, tumigil ang ulan. Basa pa rin ang daan at lumamig ng kaunti, but we
were able to go out dahil maaliwalas na ang langit. It was almost too clear for the city sky. Mas
maraming bituin ngayon kesa sa nakasanayan. The city lights didn't dim them.
I let him eat more than half of the food I cooked para may mapaglalagyan pa ako mamaya ng barbeque sa
tiyan ko. Sabi niya kanina, bago umulan, magba-barbeque raw kami kasi may malaking chance na makikita
namin doon sina Karen. And there's also a huge chance that it will happen tonight.
I have no idea how. Hanggang ngayon, nag-iisip pa rin ako kung paano iyon mangyayari. Over barbeque?
Just... how?
"Bumili ka ng marami ha," sabi niya nang makarating kami sa lugar.
'Gaano karami?'
"Magkano ba ang dala mong pera?"
'Two hundred.'
Ngumisi siya. "All in."
Napamulagat ako. 'Adik ka ba? Gusto mong maimpatso?'
I only remembered na hindi nga pala sya nagkakaganoon nang maitanong ko iyon.
'Ang dami kong gastos sa 'yo,' sabi ko sa kanya.
He laughed. "I'll pay you if I can."
'No, it's okay. Since ikaw naman ang inspirasyon ng libro ko, I'll call it even. Kapag bumenta 'yon,
magkakapera rin naman ako.'
"I wish I could read the finished product."
'Raice gave me a copy. You can read it if you want to.'
Tumango siya. "Happy ending, 'no?"
I nodded.
"Mabuti pa sa libro."
Hindi na ako sumagot. Naglakad kami in silence hanggang sa may barbeque stall. There's a handful of
people there. Kabi-kabila ang mga sasakyan. Maraming tambay sa gilid dahil may mga tables na naka-
setup. Pagkabili kasi nila, doon na sila sa gilid kumakain.
I waited for my turn to select the meats to be barbequed.
'Alin ang gusto mo?' I asked when I'm up front.
He pointed at the chicken intestines. 'Five of those.'
I took five sticks. 'Anything else?'
He grinned at me before starting his pointing craze. Turo-turo pala ang dapat tawag sa lugar dahil
turo sya nang turo.
The lady was looking quizzically at me. Paano ba naman, dalawang kamay ko na ang may hawak ng kung
anu-anong ipaluluto ko dahil sa dami ng gusto nyang kainin.
I gave the selected guts and meats to the lady and paid for everything. Hinintay pa nitong matapos
yung mga niluluto at inuna pa yung iba dahil mao-occupy ng mga pinamili ko yung buong grill kapag
inuna ako.
Bakit naman kasi ang takaw-takaw ni Cupid?
"Hey, I heard that."
'I'm mentally sticking my tongue out.'
He laughed. "Aren't you hungry? You didn't buy anything."
'You're kidding, right? E pang-isang linggo ko na yatang ulam yung binili mo.'
"Well, here's a thought: if you become like me, you can eat all the food you want and you'll never
get fat or feel bloated."
'Yeah, right. As if someone will be able to see me when that happens.'
"Oo nga, ano?" His expression became solemn. "Sorry."
'It's okay. I think I need to get used to the idea anyway.'
He sighed. "I wish our conversations would end on a happy note."
'Well, you can wish all you want. They'll never be granted.'
"Gee, thanks a lot."
'I'm just saying.'
"Ate, babalikan ko na lang po," sabi ko sa tindera.
"Where are we going? They'll be here in a minute."
'Convenience store,' sagot ko. 'Don't worry, we won't be long.'
We headed to the nearby store to buy some stuff. Cupid followed closely behind me. Kumuha agad ako ng
mga kailangan ko sa store at saka pumila sa counter. The guy at the counter greeted me with a smile.
Hindi maiwasang hindi ko mapansin yung dimples ni kuya. Para kasing nililok sa pisngi nya.
"I have dimples too."
'I'm mentally rolling my eyes.'
Binayaran ko na yung mga pinamili ko saka kami lumabas ng store.
'Ang seloso mo, 'no?'
"I don't know how to deal with this emotion."
'Jealousy is a tricky thing. On one hand, nakakatuwa kasi may taong natatakot na baka maagaw ka ng
iba sa kanya. Sa isang banda naman, nakakainis, kasi parang wala kang tiwala dun sa tao. Maraming
relasyon ang nasisira dahil dyan.'
"I think jealousy in itself is not a bad thing. It's just how people deal with it that sometimes
makes it unappealing."
'So ikaw, how will you handle your jealousy?' I couldn't help but ask.
He looked at me and smiled. "I think that as long as you're in love with me, I really don't need to
worry."
I smiled back. And because he's invisible, the guy behind him thought that I was smiling at him. Ugh.
Cupid laughed.
Nang makabalik kami sa ihawan, halos anim na stick pa lang ang luto. Sobrang dami naman kasi ng
binili ni Cupid. Pumwesto kami sa gilid para hindi makaharang sa ibang bumibili at para na rin hindi
kami mausukan.
Maya-maya ay dumating nga sina Karen. Akala ko silang dalawa lang pero kasama rin pala nila si Gee. I
don't know how they're handling it well, considering na mag-ex sina Bryan at Gee, gusto nina Karen at
Bryan ang isa't isa and Gee knows it and she used to hate her sister because of it.
"You can always choose whether to make things complicated or not," Cupid said.
'Sa tingin mo, bakit nagiging komplikado ang mga bagay-bagay?'
"Kasi takot kayong magkamali. And you think too far ahead. Step one pa lang kayo, iniisip nyo na yung
errors na pwede ninyong ma-encounter sa step five or six or seven. You're always in a rush to get
things done, kaya tuloy imbes na maayos, lalo pang gumugulo."
'E kasi po limitado lang ang oras namin sa mundo. Kung imortal kami, tingin mo ba aalalahanin pa
namin ang oras?'
"If you're immortal, you'll slack off. You'll take things for granted. Kasi hindi natatapos ang oras
ninyo. But if you can die anytime, you'll value things more. You'll live each day to the fullest.
You'll make things simpler. Wala namang taong sumasaya sa komplikadong bagay e. Kasi nakakasakit ng
ulo."
I gave him a mental laugh, the one that goes ha-ha-ha inside my head. 'I always wonder how we could
jump from one topic to another but still staying on the same page.'
"Great minds think alike," he said with a wink.
We watched as Karen, Gee and Bryan choose from a wide selection of barbeque.
"Yan lang ang sa'yo?" tanong ni Bryan nang kumuha si Gee ng tatlong stick ng isaw saka dalawang stick
ng dugo.
"Oo. Busog pa 'ko e."
Bryan turned his attention to Karen, who was holding ten sticks of assorted meat.
"Bakit ikaw, hindi ka tumataba kahit ang takaw mo?" naiiling nitong tanong.
Tinusok ni Karen ng barbeque stick si Bryan. "Maganda kasi ako!" malakas nitong sagot.
"Anong kinalaman ng ganda sa taba?!"
Gee started laughing as the two of them started bickering. Nauwi sa paghahampasan ng barbeque stick
ang asaran ng dalawa. They could really get physical, those two. Halata namang hindi lumalaban si
Bryan, bumabawi na lang sa salita.
After a while, Gee felt left out. Nagpaalam itong may bibilhin lang sa tindahan na malapit. Natahimik
ang dalawa nang umalis si Gee. Ibinigay nila yung mangled barbeque sticks sa tindera na kanina pa
masama ang tingin sa kanilang dalawa saka sila nagbayad.
Ilang minuto pa ay isinalang na rin yung binili nila dahil malapit nang matapos yung pagluluto nung
sa 'min.
'May nabasa ako dati. Exes can't be friends daw. Kasi kung mangyayari 'yon, it's either of the two:
they still love each other or they didn't really love each other at all. In their case, which is it?'
"Both."
'Both?'
"She's still in love with him. He didn't love her."
'That's just sad.'
"Parte ng buhay 'yan. You can't always be happy."
'What did Gee do to deserve it? Masama ba sya sa past life nya? Will she be rewarded in her next
life?'
"Huh?"
I shook my head. 'Wala. I just have this notion about karma and reincarnation kasi.'
"It's not about who's good or bad in their past life. You each have a role to play on Earth and other
people also have different roles in your life. You're all tangled. Ripp-"
'Rippling effect. Yeah, I get it. I just don't understand why life has to be so complicated. I mean,
if only people could see what I see, it would have been so much easier. People will fall for their
soul mates and everybody would be happy.'
"If that is the scenario, then free will would become useless. Kaya nga binigyan kayo ng choice e,
kasi hindi ninyo alam yung outcome ng mga choices nyo."
'Alam ko naman yun e. Kaso ang hirap. Unfair sa iba.'

"If everything is unfair in this world, then doesn't that make it fair?"
'I just can't stop thinking about you angels, is all. Klaro na kasi sa inyo ang lahat kaya parang ang
dali-dali.'
He smirked. "Well, if it's in any consolation, having no free will is not fun at all. I feel like a
drone sometimes."
Tumayo siya at naglakad papunta sa ihawan. Ibinabalot na yung mga order namin. Sina Karen at Bryan,
nanahimik na lang sa isang tabi.
I saw Karen take out her phone. May binabasa sya sa screen.
"Asan na raw si Gee?" tanong ni Bryan sa kanya.
"Umuwi na raw."
Kinuha ni Bryan ang phone mula sa kamay ni Karen.
"May sasabihin ako sa 'yo," he said to her. He started typing. Maya-maya ay ihinarap nito ang screen
kay Karen. Kumunot naman ang noo ni Karen habang naniningkit ang mga mata sa pagbabasa.
"Sorry," she told him. Saka sya tumayo at umalis.
"Karen!" habol ni Bryan.
'Teka, ano'ng nangyayari?' tanong ko kay Cupid.
"Why don't you see for yourself?"
It's like déjà vu. I've seen this somewhere before. Bryan's end of the string started glowing.
Karen's remain a dull red.
'Umamin na sya?'
"Yep."
'Why did she say sorry to him?'
Pasimple kaming sumunod sa dalawa.
"Pwede bang mag-usap muna tayo?" Bryan easily caught up with her.
Tumigil sa paglalakad si Karen saka niya hinarap si Bryan.
"Ayoko."
"Bakit?!"
"Ayoko lang!"
Napasapo si Bryan. "Ano 'to, mali ba ako ng pagkakaintindi? Akala ko-"
"Akala mo lang yun!"
"Bakit? Ano ba'ng ayaw mo sa 'kin?"
Para kaming nanunuod ng teleserye. Sa may paradahan ng tricycle pa sila nag-usap na dalawa. Ang dami
tuloy nakiusyoso.
"Marami!" paasik na sagot ni Karen.
"Tulad ng?"
"This is going to be fun," Cupid said. "Sana pala bumili rin tayo ng popcorn."
'May barbeque na, may popcorn pa? Ang takaw mo talaga.'
Tumawa lang sya.
"Ie-enumerate ko pa talaga?!"
"Sabi mo marami e. Kung sana sinabi mong isa lang, e di wala kang problema ngayon."
"Ayan! Ayoko sa'yo kasi pilosopo ka!"
"Nagsabi lang ng totoo, pilosopo na kaagad?!"
"Mahilig kang sumigaw!"
"Ang tinis kasi ng boses mo, pinapantayan ko lang!"
Cupid's right. This is kinda fun.
"O, ano pa? Yun lang ang ayaw mo sa'kin?!"
Karen fell silent. She looks like she was hurting.
"Gusto ka ng kapatid ko."
Bryan sighed.
"Tapos na kami, di ba? Ipinagtutulakan nya na nga ako sa'yo. Ikaw lang itong maarte."
####################################
Chapter 60: Kyle Vincent Villacruz
####################################
"Ano na kaya ang nangyari sa kanila?"
It's been three days since that night, pero hanggang ngayon ay pangalan pa lang ni Bryan ang
nakalagay sa jar. Still no sign of Karen's. I don't know what's holding her up.
"Relax. He already confessed so it's only a matter of time before she responds."
"I have no time. Ilang araw na lang, February 14 na. My time's almost up."
"So focus on the other pair. Mas malayo pa sila sa katotohanan kesa kina Karen at Bryan."
He's right. Silvia and Joseph are still refusing to admit their feelings to each other. Hindi pwedeng
mag-antayan na lang sila habambuhay. I can't wait forever. Limitado lang ang oras ko.
"I may have someone in mind who might be able to help you."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. "Someone? Who?" Psyche?
He shook his head. "No, not Psyche."
"Another angel?"
"Nope."
I groaned. "Pahuhulaan mo pa ba sa'kin?"
He gave me a cheeky smile. "Do you want to?"
"Cupid."
He sighed. "Okay. He's Silvia's ex."
Lalo akong naguluhan. I know that the ex is the pet peeve of the current. But I don't know how that
will make them confess without ruining what's already between them. Panira kasi ng relasyon ang mga
ex, kahit sa kasisimula pa lang. They pose a huge threat. I guess the past really is ominous and
heavy, seeing that there's a lot of history to it.
"Don't worry, he's already taken."
"Taken na? O, baka naman yung relasyon nung tao yung masira dahil sa gagawin natin?"
He leaned on the wall and crossed his arms against his chest. "Help me out here please. Remove the
frown on your face for me, worrier."
"I'm worried because you're not telling me how exactly it will go."
"I can't tell you everything. I'm just supposed to help, not do your job."
I scowled. "Okay! Talk."
"There's this guy. His name's Kyle Vincent Villacruz. He's still in touch with Silvia. Friends pa rin
sila."
"And?"
"Well, he just got back from Switzerland. And I was hoping that you could get them to meet somehow."
"Pa'no ko naman gagawin 'yon? I don't know him."
"Ah, but you know Silvia," he said knowingly. Knowingly for him. I have no idea what he's talking
about. "Take your time."
He grinned and vanished. Great. Nakuha pa nya akong pahulain kung kailan naman malapit na ang
deadline. I just don't get what he said.
But I guess I won't know what to do if I stay inside the house. Mali-late na ako kung hindi pa ako
kikilos. One more week. One last week and this is all over.
--
I was surprised to find Silvia already in the faculty room. Nakasubsob sya sa desk. Tulog yata. I
crept up to her and slammed my textbooks on her desk. She jumped back, cursing.
Ngumisi ako. "Good morning!"
"Mina!"
"Bakit kasi dito ka natutulog? Puyat ka ba? Ano'ng ginawa mo kagabi?"
She grunted. "Wala."
"Hindi ka nakatulog dahil... wala?"
Kinuha niya yung phone nya at saka ipinakita sa'kin yung call logs. Napangiti ako lalo. Kaya naman
pala. Magdamag silang magkausap ni Joseph. I wonder what they talked about.
"So...? What's the deal between the two of you?"
"Wala pa rin," himutok niya. "Ewan ko. Oras na yata para tumigil kaaasa."
"Bakit kasi hindi ikaw ang gumawa ng first move kung gusto mo sya talaga?"
She looked apalled with the idea. "Ayoko nga! Hindi ako naging ganito kaganda para gumawa ng first
move, 'no! He's the guy. He should initiate. Saka ayokong magmukhang desperada."
Nailing na lamang ako. Kung ganyan ang mentality nya, wala talaga silang mararating na dalawa, lalo
na't dinadaga rin yung isa. Nganga na lang sila pareho.
Pumunta na lang ako sa pwesto ko at inihanda ang mga gagamitin para sa lecture ko ngayong araw. With
a few minutes to spare, I used the room's wifi to connect to Facebook. Pinuntahan ko yung profile ni
Silvia. I looked through her friends' list. Sana nga lang ay friend nya si Kyle Vincent.
Minsan lang natutupad ang mga sana ko sa buhay. At mukhang pinagbibigyan yata ako ng langit dahil
natupad ang sana ko ngayong araw.
Kyle Vincent Villacruz. Pangalan pa lang, ang gwapo na. I looked at his profile picture. He's wearing
a simple V-neck shirt white shirt and acid-washed jeans. Nakaakbay ito sa isang babae, who I'm
assuming na girlfriend nya. They're both wearing sunglasses dahil mataas ang araw.
Mukhang nasa golf course sila. May golf cart kasi sa background.
He's one of those guys whose demeanor matches the name. Ang swerte naman ni Silvia sa lalaki. Puro
gwapo yata ang mga naging boyfriend nya.
I looked at his timeline. Tama nga si Cupid. Kararating lang nito mula Switzerland. Business trip,
what else? Mayaman si Kyle. According to his info, he's a CEO of some company.
"Silvia, kilala mo ba 'tong Kyle Vincent Villacruz?"
Kunot na kunot ang noo ni Silvia sa tanong ko.
"Nakita ko kasi sa list of friends mo," paliwanag ko sa kanya.
"E di malamang kilala ko. Friend ko nga, di ba?"
"Kita mo ikaw. Tinatanong ng maayos e," naiiling kong sabi.
Lumapit sya sa'kin saka kinuha yung phone mula sa kamay ko. "Bakit ini-stalk mo yung profile ko?"
I shrugged. "Wala lang."
Nag-scroll sya. "Wow, ang bigtime talaga ni ex! He just got back from Switzerland! Sana talaga 'di ko
na pinakawalan 'to."
"E bakit mo nga ba pinakawalan? Douchebag ba?"
Mayaman naman si Kyle. Gwapo. So kung given na yun at nakipaghiwalay pa rin si Silvia, ibig sabihin
may problema sa ugali nito.
"Oy hindi a. Ang bait kaya nito." Ngumiti siya saka pinagpipindot yung screen. She tends to do that
kapag may tinitingnan syang gwapo sa phone. Kunwari napipisil nya yung pisngi.
"Manghuhula na lang ba ako ng sagot?"
She gave me back my phone. Naupo sya sa edge ng table ko. "We didn't love each other kasi. Talagang
friends lang. Parang naging kami lang nun kasi gusto kong maka-get over kay you-know-who tapos sya
naman, kailangan ng pretend-girlfriend kasi may nagkalat ng balitang bakla raw sya. Ilag kasi yun sa
mga babae nung college e. Puro sya aral. E ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya."
"So ginawa ka nyang scapegoat?"
"Okay lang naman sa'kin. Palagi akong libre. Galante pa yan! Kaso nung mag-graduation na, nag-break
na rin kami. Kailangan kasi nyang magpunta sa America. E you know me. I don't do long distance
relationships."
"Pero friends pa rin kayo until now?"
"Oo naman. Sabi nya keep in touch daw. Choosy pa ba ako? Tuwing aalis yan, palagi akong may
pasalubong pag-uwi nya."
"Kagaya ngayon?"
Napaisip sya. Then her eyes shone. "Oo nga 'no! Mai-message nga yan. Hihingi akong chocolates." She
giggled and headed back to her desk.
Ako naman ay napatingin sa pinto. Hindi ko alam kung gaano na ba katagal si Joseph na nakatayo doon.
He has this unreadable expression on his face. Hindi mo malaman kung galit o ano. But when he looked
at Silvia (and she's looking away), his mood turned sour. Halos padabog nitong ibinaba ang mga libro
nito.
Si Silvia naman ay mukhang aligaga. Nagmamadali itong lumabas ng faculty.
I cleared my throat. Joseph gave me dagger looks. I held up my hands in defense.
"Hey, I didn't say anything."
"Sino yung pinag-uusapan nyo kanina?"
"Yun ba? Heto o." I showed him Kyle's profile. "Ex ni Silvia yan. Gwapo, 'no?"
Ang sarap ipa-araro ng kunot sa noo nya. "Ex na pala e. Bakit pinag-uusapan pa?"
I closed the app and put my phone on the table. "Kadarating lang kasi nyan. Turns out that Silvia's
still in touch with him. So ayun, imi-message daw nya para bigyan sya ng chocolates."
Hindi maipinta ang mukha nya.
"Matanong nga kita, bakit ang sama ng mood mo? Umagang-umaga a."
"A, wala." Nag-iwas sya ng tingin. "Sige, I have to go to my class."
"Okay."
--
During breaktime, ipinakita sa'min ni Silvia yung exchange of messages nila ni Kyle. Bukod sa
bibigyan na nga siya nito ng pasalubong, inaaya pa siya nitong lumabas mamaya. Libre daw nito.
Syempre itong isa naman, tuwang-tuwa.
"Gusto nyong sumama?" aya niya.
"Ngek. Ikaw lang ang in-invite, friend," Cai pointed out.
"Ano ba. Okay lang yan sa kanya. Dati nga isinama ko pa yung mga kabarkada ko e."
"Abusada ka talaga," natatawang sabi ni Cai.
"Alamoyan, friend! Pero seriously speaking, he's cool with it. RK kasi."
So it's settled. Makakalibre ako ng dinner mamaya.
"Saan kaya naman tayo magdi-dinner kung sakali?" tanong ko.
"Naku, knowing Vince, sa mamahalin tayo kakain."
"Si Joseph, ayaw mong isama?"

Sumama ang timpla nya. "E kung ikaw kaya ang hindi ko isinasama?"
"Bakit galit ka? Nagtatanong lang e."
"Ikaw kasi!"
"Anong ako?"
"Awat na nga," saway sa'min ni Cai. "Friend, it's not Mina's fault na wala ka pa ring lovelife
ngayon."
Cai turned to me and gave me a reprimanding look.
"Ikaw naman, Mina, alam mo na ngang butt hurt 'tong si Silvia, ginagatungan mo pa."
Silvia looked offended by the comment. But when Cai started laughing, natawa na lang din kami. She
suddenly reminded me of Phoebe Buffay from Friends.
--
Nang dumating ang hapon, pinauna ko ang dalawa sa may gate kung saan naghihintay ang si Kyle sa amin.
I walked towards Joseph. He looked sullen again. Maghapon na syang ganoon.
"Hey."
He gave me a forced smile.
"Hindi ka pa uuwi?"
Umiling siya.
"Ganun ba? Nga pala, may lakad kami nina Silvia ngayon. We're meeting her ex. Libre dinner. You can
come if you want. Okay lang daw naman dun sa ex nya kung magsasama sya ng friends."
"Bakit mo sinasabi sa'kin yan?" kunot-noo niyang tanong.
"E di ba friends kayo ni Silvia?"

####################################
Chapter 61: Breaking The Ice
####################################
Nagmamadali akong umalis dahil pamihadong magagalit si Silvia sa akin kapag pinaghintay ko sila ng
matagal. I saw them just outside the gate. Nakikipag-usap si Silvia sa isang matangkad na lalaki, who
I'm assuming is Kyle. He's really tall. Aakalain mong modelo.
Ang ganda pa ng kapit ng damit nito rito. It's like the clothes were tailored for him.
"I don't think that ogling is part of the task."
I looked to my left. Kasabay ko pala sa paglalakad si Cupid.
'I'm just admiring the guy.'
"Yeah. Quit it."
Hindi na lang ako nakipagtalo.
Silvia introduced me to Kyle, who insisted that I call him Vince. Sumakay silang dalawa sa unahan
habang kami naman ni Cai ay pumwesto sa likod. Masayang nagkikwentuhan yung dalawa. Mukhang nagka-
catch up sila sa buhay ng isa't isa.
Kami naman ni Cai ay nananahimik lang. Ewan ko ba. It's like we have this feeling na kapag nagsalita
kami, mababasag yung moment at mananahimik yung dalawa. So pinabayaan na lang namin silang
magdaldalan.
Maya-maya'y kinuhit ako ni Cai at saka ipinakita sa'kin yung screen ng phone nya. She has something
typed on it.
Tingin mo, may chance pa na magkabalikan sila?
I shook my head, horrified at the thought. Nakasalalay ang kinabukasan ko kina Silvia at Joseph.
Bawal mabuwag ang OTP na yun.
It typed on my phone.
I talked to Silvia earlier. No love there.
Cai looked intrigued. Then she started typing.
Kahit no love, lust lang, pwede na.
Saka sya tumawa ng walang sound.
Sira ka talaga!
Ang yummy kasi, friend! Rich kid pa!
Nailing na lang ako.
My phone then beeped. May text message ako galing kay Joseph.
Sa'n kayo kakain?
When I showed the text message to Cai, she gaped at me.
You told him?????
Tumango ako. Nag-type sya ulit. Ako naman ay tumikhim.
"Uhm, excuse lang, Vince. Matanong ko lang: sa'n ba tayo kakain?"
"Okay lang ba sa inyo ang Japanese food? I was thinking of Yakimix kasi. Buffet na para sulit kay
Silvia."
Tumawa si Vince nang hampasin ito ni Silvia sa braso.
"Ano naman ang gusto mong palabasin, ha?"
"Matakaw ka-aray! Mabangga tayo oy!"
I gotta admit, they look cute together. Vince looks like the type who will give a woman anything she
wants to make her happy. Mababalanse nito ang pagka-demanding ni Silvia since he's such a giving guy.
Halos ibaon ni Cai ang daliri nya sa balikat ko.
Nang lingunin ko sya, nakaharap na sa'kin ang screen ng phone nya.
Bakit sinabi mo kay Joseph? Sira ka ba! Alam mo na ngang not in good terms yung dalawa ni gaga, di
ba? Gusto mong ma-F.O over dinner?!
Napakamot ako ng ulo. E ano naman ang gusto nyang gawin ko? It's not as if Vince will make a move on
Silvia. Yes, they're friends. They're comfortable with each other. They can joke around and spend
their days happy, but if there's no love there, then why waste two good people in one loveless
relationship?
At least with Joseph, there's love. Kailangan nga lang ng konting push.
--
Malapit lang yung Yakimix na pinuntahan namin since sa Greenbelt lang naman. Habang pina-park ni
Vince yung sasakyan ay tinext ko naman kay Joseph yung place. Nung pumasok kami ng Yakimix, tuwang-
tuwa si Silvia.
She immediately grabbed a plate. Sumunod naman kami ni Cai. Vince looked for a good spot to eat. When
we filled our plates, ito naman ang tumayo para kumuha ng pagkain.
Tuloy ang kwentuhan habang kumakain kami.
"Sa'n ka nga pala nag-stay ngayon?" tanong ni Silvia kay Vince.
"Dyan lang ako sa Ortigas hanggang first week ng March. Pupunta kasi uli akong Malaysia by then."
"Wow, big time ka talaga!"
"Dito ka mag-spend ng Valentine's?" I asked.
"Yes. Magagalit ang girlfriend ko kapag hindi kasi last year magkahiwalay kami so kailangan kong
bumawi. Pina-move ko pa nga yung business trip para dun."
"Aww, swerte naman ng girlfriend mo," Cai gushed.
"So what are your plans for that day?" Nang tumingin sila sa'kin ay napilitan akong mag-elaborate.
"Kasi may program kami sa school sa Valentine's. Big event yun. Open to outsiders. Masaya dun kasi
ang daming pakulo. You can bring your girlfriend there kung wala pa kayong plano."
"Yeah, sure. Para maiba naman, hindi puro dinner," nakangiti nitong sabi. "I'll keep that in mind."
Cai purposely stepped on my foot and gave me this 'what are you doing' look. I ignored her. My ship
badly needs to sail and if Vince is the wind to do it, then might as well use him.
"Sorry, I'm late."
Lahat kami ay napatingin kay Joseph. Naramdaman ko na naman ang paa ni Cai sa paa ko. Ang sakit,
nakatakong pa naman sya.
Silvia shot me an accusing look. Of course she knew that I had everything to do with it. Sino pa ba
naman ang manlalaglag sa kanya kundi ako? Naramdaman ko tuloy na obligado akong ipakilala si Joseph
kay Vince, kahit na si Silvia naman dapat ang gagawa nun.
"Vince, friend nga pala namin, si Joseph. Joseph, si Vince, friend ni Silvia."
The two men shook hands. And I might be wrong but I think I saw Joseph's jaw clench. Threatened kaya
ito? I told him na gwapo si Vince. He just didn't acknowledge that.
Tinanguan ko si Joseph. He wedged himself between me and Cai. Si Silvia naman ay napatulala na lang.
She wasn't expecting this. But she also couldn't shoo him away for some reason. It's bad enough na
hindi sila nag-uusap buong maghapon. Sana naman hindi sila mag-away over this.
"Hindi ka pa kakain?" tanong ko kay Joseph.
"Oh... right." Nailing na lamang ako. He must have forgotten that he's here to eat. Nang makaalis si
Joseph sa table ay nag-excuse din si Silvia. Hinila nya rin ako.
"Sa'n ba tayo pupunta?" I asked when we went outside the restaurant.
"Dito, sa labas!" She crossed her arms against her chest. "Mina, what's he doing here?!"
"What? Sabi mo pwedeng magsama ng friends, di ba?"
"I meant you and Cai, not him!" paghuhuramentado nya.
"Ano ba kasing problema? What are you worried about?"
"Ewan ko rin!" She sighed in exasperation. "Ang awkward lang kasi."
"Bakit ba awkward? Friends naman kayo, di ba? It's not like you have a relationship."
I knew I hit home. She has this constipated look on her face. Parang hirap na hirap. Gusto kong
matawa kung hindi lang sa mukhang alalang-alala talaga sya.
"Silvia, he came here as a friend. Kung hindi sya kumportable sa setup, problema nya na yun. Just
enjoy the evening, okay? Bawal kang ma-upset. Humihina ka sa pagkain."
I'm so glad looks can't really kill.
--
When we got back, nagkikwentuhan na ang tatlo. Cai's looking at both men with amusement. Nang
makalapit kami ay saka ko nalaman kung bakit. Joseph keeps on asking about Vince's past,
specifically, the one where Silvia's in.
Natahimik lang ulit ito nang dumating kami.
"Ano'ng pinag-uusapan nyo?"
"Vince was just telling him about your past arrangement back in college," sagot ni Cai.
"Bakit nga ba hindi ka naggi-girlfriend noon?" tanong ko kay Vince. "Wala ka talagang natitipuhan?"
He shook his head. "It was study, study and study for me. Ako kasi ang inaasahan ng adoptive parent
ko na mag-take over sa negosyo nya."
"Ang brat kasi nung kapatid nya. She even started the rumor about him being gay."
"Huh? Bakit naman gagawin ng kapatid mo yun?"
Vince shrugged. "She hated me for being the favorite. Akala kasi nya, magkapatid talaga kami. Then
she later learned na ampon lang pala ako-not legally though. Parang pinaalagaan lang ako. Being the
guy and the elder between us, she felt threatened by me kasi ako ang palaging pinapaboran ng parents
nya."
"Hanggang ngayon ba galit pa rin sa'yo yang Red na yan?"
Vince just smiled in response. Then he started speaking in Ilocano.
"Uy, marunong ka pa rin!" Silvia exclaimed.
"She used to teach me nung kami pa," he explained to us after seeing our confused look.
"Tinuruan ko nga rin syang mag-Korean e. Kaso hindi nya talaga matutunan."
"It's because I didn't want to learn it," depensa naman ni Vince.
Nagsimula na naman silang mag-usap na parang wala silang ibang kasama. Ibinuhos na lang ni Joseph ang
sama ng loob sa pagkain. Alam kasi nitong hindi ito makasisingit sa kwentuhan ng dalawa.
Kami naman ni Cai ay nagkwentuhan na rin, but we did it in hushed tones kasi yung tatlo ang pinag-
uusapan namin. Napansin kong umalis ulit si Joseph para kumuha ng pagkain. That was his third plate
already.
We stayed there for about three hours. Sulit na sulit nga sa kanila, lalo na kay Silvia, ang pagkain
sa buffet. Ako sa desserts na lang bumawi.
Pagkabayad ni Vince sa napakalaking bill namin, we headed to the parking lot.
"Ihahatid ko na kayo," he offered.
"Nako, huwag na," tanggi ko. Malapit lang naman ako dito. Isang jeep lang."
"Ako malayo," sabat ni Cai. "Pahatid ako ha? Para libre na sa pamasahe."
Pinandilatan ko sya. She's not supposed to take the offer! But Cai was oblivious of my stare.
"Silvia can ride with me."
Nagulat kaming lahat sa sinabi ni Joseph. Lalo na itong isa na hindi maipinta ang mukha. Vince and
Joseph exhanged looks. I think they came up with an understanding. Siguro naman ay nahalata na rin ni
Vince kanina kung ano'ng meron sa dalawa.
"Okay." May kinuha ito sa compartment ng sasakyan. It was a small paper bag. Kulay red at gold.
Iniabot nito iyon kay Silvia. "Chocolates mo."
"Thank you."
Vince turned to me. "Ikaw, Mina, hindi ka talaga sasabay? Pwede naman kitang idaan sa inyo e."
"Okay," pagsang-ayon ko naman. I hopped in the backseat habang si Cai naman ang sa unahan. Si Silvia,
walang choice kundi sumunod kay Joseph papunta sa sasakyan nito. Sana talaga mangyari na yung matagal
ko nang hinihintay na mangyari. Sana bukas, isa na lang ang aalalahanin ko.
####################################
Chapter 62: Unintelligible
####################################
Siguro nga masyado lang akong umasa dahil natupad yung isa kong sana kahapon. Magdamag kong hinintay
na madagdagan yung heart sa jar, pero wala! Napuyat lang ako kahihintay. I don't know what to do
anymore! I already played the ex card! Gusto ko nga sanang kumprontahin ang dalawa ng harapan pero
hindi raw yun pwede.
Apparently, it's meddling. But considering what I'm doing, aren't I already meddling? Hindi na lang
ako nagreklamo kay Cupid. Rules are rules, anyway. He breaks a lot of them though.
So anyway, back to the stubborn pair...
Buong umagang nag-i-Ilocana si Silvia! Well, it was only when Joseph's trying to communicate with
her. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano'ng nangyari sa dalawa kagabi o kung nakapag-usap man lang ba sila.
Basta pagpasok ko kanina sa faculty room, naabutan ko nang nakasimangot si Joseph sa tabi ni Silvia.
"Ano'ng problema nyo?"
"Madik man ammu kanyana," sagot ni Silvia sa salitang hindi ko maintindihan.
"Kagabi pa sya ganyan," himutok ni Joseph. "I tried talking to her and she shunned me off by talking
in an alien language!"
"Ilocano atuy, dambel."
"See? She's doing it again!"
I sighed. Para akong nanay kapag kasama ng dalawang 'to. No wonder palaging wala si Cai.
"Alam nyo, para kayong mga bata sa ginagawa nyong 'yan."
Silvia tapped her chin with the back of her hand. "Baby face, gayyem."
Joseph raised his hands in defeat. "Fine. If you don't want to talk, then don't."
Galit itong lumabas ng faculty room.
Nilapitan ko si Silvia. "Ano ba ang nangyari kagabi?"
She grunted and rolled her eyes. "Ket anya pay garud? Awan! Forever, ag-nganga lattan!"
"Silvia, hindi kita maintindihan."
"Ay, sorry!" She laughed. "Kanina pa kasi ako nag-i-Ilocano." She stood up and picked up her things.
"I'll tell you later over lunch."
--
Habang wala pang lunchbreak, I tried my best to focus on my lectures. Bukod sa pag-aasikaso ko sa
dalawang natitirang pairs, pinagbubutihan ko rin ang pagtuturo nitong mga nakaraang araw. I have a
feeling na, magawa ko man o hindi yung task, may mababago pa rin. Things won't be the same after
this.
And if I fail, I'd really miss teaching my class.
After the two-hour lecture, I was still hesitant to let them leave. Gusto ko pang magsalita nang
magsalita. Pero alam kong hindi ko sila pwedeng patagalin dahil may kasunod pa silang klase. So we
parted ways.
Nang sa wakas ay magtanghali na, agad kong hinanap si Silvia para kausapin. Sa cafeteria na kami
kumain, doon sa area ng mga teacher. Nagpalinga-linga muna sya, to make sure that Joseph wasn't
around, bago nagkwento.
"Ayoko kasi talaga syang kasama kagabi. Sabi ko sa kanya na magku-commute na lang ako. Aba, nagalit
ba naman!"
"Natural, nireject mo yung offer e," singit ni Cai. "Saka, friend, nagmamagandang loob yung tao.
Dapat hindi mo tinanggihan."
"E kasi nga awkward!"
Cai rolled her eyes. "Ewan ko sa'yo. Ang tagal mong hinintay 'yan tapos kung kailan nandyan na, saka
mo tinutulak palayo."
"Tama si Cai. Malay mo magsasabi na pala sya kagabi tapos ganun yung ginawa mo. Naunahan tuloy sya ng
galit."
"Ket gago gayam suna, e!"
Sinamaan namin sya ng tingin. Silvia sighed.
"Okay, so I agreed na magpahatid. But then he kept on asking about Vince and it ticked me off! Ayun,
in-Ilocano ko sya. Kinausap nya ako ng pagalit, minura-mura ko sya. Hindi naman nya alam na minumura
ko sya e. When he got tired of arguing with me, nagpatugtog sya ng malakas while I sulk."
"Baka kasi nagsiselos sya kaya ganon."

"He has no right to get jealous! Kami ba? Hindi naman, di ba?"
"You could have been... last night."
--
"So, how did it go?"
"Don't you know?"
"I do, but I want to hear it from your perspective."
I sat and grunted. "Pwede bang humanap na lang ako ng ibang mas madaling i-match? Seryoso, ang
hirap!"
"Ano ka ba, dadalawa na lang nga, susukuan mo pa?"
"Aren't you worried?" Bakit kaya parang ang ganda ng mood nya? Isang linggo na lang, end na. Tapos
sya, parang prente lang?
"If I get so worked up and worried, will that help speed up the completion of your task? Dapat
positive ka lagi, Mina. It will attract the positivity around you. Kapag negative ka, puro negative
din ang lalapit sa'yo."
I frowned. "Naniniwala ka dun?"
"Yes. It's part of the ripple effect. Hindi lang sya sa mga kinikilos ng tao. Kasama na rin doon ang
mentality. How you think also affects how the universe will react."
"So kapag inisip kong matatapos ko yung task on time, the universe will agree with me?"
He smiled. "It just might."
--
I did not believe what he said. I can't help it. Kapag nakakanda-leche-leche na ang mga plano mo sa
buhay, magiging positibo ka pa kaya? Inabot na kami ng Biyernes pero ini-Ilocano pa rin ni Silvia si
Joseph tuwing lalapit ito sa kanya.
Sana pala noong una ko pa inaral ang dialect nya para mai-translate ko kay Joseph yung mga sinasabi
nya.
Weekend came. My last weekend. Sa Thursday na yung deadline ko. Cupid told me to check on Karen and
Bryan. Meaning, I'd have to do that thing with the golden ribbon again.
Kumain ako ng marami sa umaga bago dumating si Psyche. Nang maisagawa na ulit namin yung proseso, I
became invisible to everyone, just like before. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, nasa ibang
lugar na ako. It was a bit familiar because I've been here a few times already. Alas nwebe pa lang ng
umaga ay nasa bahay na nina Karen si Bryan, nanliligaw. May sa Intsik ata ang isang 'to.
"Tangina, natutulog pa ako!" narinig kong sigaw ni Karen.
Lumabas si Gee na nakasimangot. "Bahala ka na," she said to Bryan.
Bryan was looking grim. Kanina sabi sa'kin ni Cupid, ilang araw na raw nitong sinusuyo si Karen. And
up to this day-no luck.
Dehado si Bryan kay Karen. For one, he already confessed and she didn't respond. Parang ang dating,
he just assumed that she likes him too. Now she's acting like he's the worst thing that ever happened
to her. And two, she could hurt him physically. He can't hurt her. Syempre, sino ba namang matinong
lalaki ang mananakit ng babae?
Magaan ang kamay ni Karen, I could attest to that. Pagod na yatang mabugbog si Bryan. Instead of
going inside her room and hauling her out of it, he sat on the couch and waited. I waited with him.
Halos trenta minutos rin yata kaming naghintay bago lumabas si Karen. She looked pissed, lalo na nang
makita nitong nakaupo si Bryan sa sala.
"Nandito ka na naman?!"
"Dinalhan kita ng bulaklak."
"Nag-aksaya ka pa ng pera. Ano naman ang gagawin ko dyan? Mabubulok din naman yan. Kung pagkain na
lang sana ang dinala mo, nabusog pa 'ko!"
"May dala akong goto kanina," he said blandly. "Kaso sa tagal mong gumising, inubusan ka na ng
kapatid mo."
"E di sana marami na yung binili mo para makakain din ako!"
"Ibibili kita ng pagkain kung gusto mo. Basta kausapin mo muna ako ng matino."
Karen made a disgusted face. "Ayoko. Magluluto na lang ako ng champorado."
"Wala kayong tablea."
"E di bibili sa palengke!"
Sinundan namin si Karen sa kusina. She checked kung wala na ngang tablea. Wala nga. Nangingiti na
lang si Bryan sa isang tabi. Siguro sa kadalasan niya rito, may inventory na rin sya ng mga pagkain
sa kusina. Kung alin ang ubos na at paubos pa lang.
Pumasok si Karen sa banyo. When she got out a few minutes later, nagtutuyo na sya ng mukha. Tahimik
lang na nakasunod si Bryan.
Karen went back inside her room. Pagkalabas nito, may dala-dala itong coin purse na may susi. We
followed her outside. Mukhang pupunta kaming palengke. I feel bad for Bryan. Para syang tutang
nakasunod kay Karen. Kapag sinusubukan nyang makipag-usap, parang wala itong naririnig.
Kapag tinutulungan nya itong magbuhat, nagagalit ito. Nang bumalik kami sa bahay at nagluto ng
champorado si Karen, ni hindi man lang nito binigyan si Bryan. The poor guy just watched as she ate.
"Huwag kang tumingin. Nawawalan ako ng gana," sabi nito sa kanya.
"Bigyan mo kaya ako para hindi ako nanunuod lang."
"Kung nagugutom ka, umuwi ka sa inyo."
Bryan stood up. Akala ko'y uuwi na sya, pero kumuha sya ng plato at nagsimulang sumandok ng
champorado.
"Hoy!" Agad na tumayo si Karen at tinakpan ang kaldero.
"Pahingi naman! Gutom na 'ko!"
"Sa inyo ka kumain!"
"Ang layo-layo ng bahay namin dito!"
"Bakit? Kasalanan ko bang gutom ka? Hindi naman kita pinapupunta rito, di ba?!"
He pushed her aside. Saka sya nagmamadaling sumandok. Mukhang gutom na nga. Si Karen naman, lalong
napikon. Kumuha ito ng mineral water sa ref. Yung nagyeyelo pa. She opened iot and threw it at Bryan.
Tinamaan siya sa likod.
Napatalon siya sa lamig. Nabitawan tuloy niya yung pinggan na may champorado.
"At nagbasag ka pa talaga ng pinggan!"
"E tangina binasa mo 'ko e!"
"Hoy! Nag-aaway na naman kayo!" Kapapasok lang ni Gee. Mukhang galing itong 7-11.
Sinamaan ni Karen ng tingin ang kapatid at saka itinuro si Bryan. "Paalisin mo yan pagkalinis nya ng
kalat nya."
Then she picked up her bowl and headed upstairs. Halos manginig ang bahay sa lakas ng pagtaklab ng
pinto.
"Sorry," Gee mouthed to him.
He nodded sourly. "Uuwi na 'ko."
Nang umuwi si Bryan ay sinilip ko muna si Karen sa kwarto bago ako umalis. She wasn't eating. Nakaupo
ito sa sahig, nakasandal sa bunk bed ang likod. She was hugging her knees habang nakatulala sa
champorado.
I left her like that. I didn't know what she was thinking. Pero sana na-guilty sya sa ginawa nya
kanina.
--
Kinabukasan, kahit pagod ay ginawa ko ulit yung ginawa namin kahapon. Sabi nila kung three days or
more n sunod-sunod daw akong sumasailalim sa ganoon, baka magkasakit ako. But what the heck, right?
Sa hindi ako mapakali e.
Tulog pa rin si Karen nang dumating ako. Nandoon na ulit si Bryan. Nandoon din ang tatay ni Karen.
Naabutan kong nag-uusap ang dalawa over breakfast. Mukhang magaan naman ang loob ng tatay ni Karen sa
kanya. Tumatawa ito at nakikipagbarahan pa nga.
Pero nang gumising na si Karen, agad na tinapos ng tatay nito ang pagkain saka ito nagpaalam. If I
didn't know any better, iisipin kong takot ito sa panganay nito.
"Nandito ka na naman?!"
"Uso mag-good morning," sabi ni Bryan sabay higop ng kape. Hanga rin ako sa pagiging at home na at
home nya.
"Ano'ng maganda sa morning kung nandito ka?"
"Ikaw," he answered casually.
Panandaliang naumid ang dila ni Karen.
"Alam ko," bawi nito.
"Kumain ka." He motioned to the table na maraming nakalagay na pagkain. "Ayan ha. Hindi na yan
bulaklak."
"Alam ko, hindi ako bulag."
Naghilamos muna si Karen. Saka ito kumuha ng pinggan at nagsimulang kumain.

"Mukhang gutom na gutom ka a," puna ni Bryan.
"Hindi ako naghapunan."
"Bakit? Diet?"
She glared at him.
"Umuwi ka na," maya-maya'y seryoso nitong sabi.
"Bakit ba palagi mo 'kong pinauuwi? Ni hindi ka man lang nagpapasalamat sa mga dinadala ko."
"Hindi ko naman hiningi, di ba? Kusa mong binibigay."
"Sa'n ka naman nakakita ng manliligaw na hindi nagkukusa?"
Nabilaukan si Karen sa sinabi nya. He got up and poured her a glass of water. Inubos ni Karen ang
laman noon.
"Masyado kang obvious. Natutuliro ka kapag nakakarinig ka ng salitang 'ligaw'."
Nasamid naman si Karen.
"Bwisit!"
Ngumisi si Bryan. "Kahit nga 'lugaw', hindi mo pinalampas."
As if on cue, nasamid na naman si Karen. Hinampas siya nito ng malakas.
"Ano ba!"
This is really amusing. Nakatutuwa silang panuorin. Ang unpredictable. Karen tried to eat while
pretending that he doesn't exist. Nang sa wakas ay mabusog ito, inimpis nito ang kalat sa lamesa saka
ito naghugas ng pinagkainan.
Si Bryan naman ay nakanuod lang.
"Umuwi ka na. Matutulog ako," she told him a few minutes later.
"Kakakain mo lang."
"Wala kang pake."
He rolled his eyes. "Sige, babalik na lang ako mamaya."
Pumasok na ng kwarto si Karen habang si Bryan naman ay lumabas ng bahay at ini-lock ang pinto.
Sinundan ko sya sa paglalakad. Gone was the confidence that I saw earlier. Now, he looked unsure.
"Hoy Termulo!"
Sabay kaming napatingala sa tumawag. Mula sa bintana ng second floor ay may ibinatong kuyom na papel
si Karen. Tumama iyon sa mukha ni Bryan.
He picked it up and smiled. I looked at the paper and can't help but smile too.
'Pasalamat ka maganda ako. OO NA.'
--
Translations:
Madik man ammu kanyana. - Aba ewan ko sa kanya.
Ilocano atuy, dambel. - Ilocano 'to, tanga.
Gayyem. - Friend.
Ket anya pay garud? Awan! Forever, ag-nganga lattan! - E ano pa nga ba? Wala! Nganga na lang forever!
Ket gago gayam suna, e! - E gago pala sya, e!

####################################
Chapter 63: The Final Task
####################################
Tuwang-tuwa ako pag-uwi ko nang makitang limang pares na ang nasa loob ng jar. Isa na lang! Sina
Silvia na lang talaga ang problema ko. If I can't get through her, then I have to get through to him.
Nung ako nga yung gusto ni Joseph, nakapagsabi sya kaagad. Bakit hindi kay Silvia? Intimidated ba
sya?
Nang mag-Lunes, ganoon pa rin ang dalawa. Hindi pa rin makapag-usap ng matino. Akala ko ay sumuko na
si Joseph dahil nang nasa faculty kami ay hindi sya nagsasalita. Nang lumabas si Silvia ay nilapitan
ko sya.
"Uy, okay ka lang?"
He was looking down on his hand. May notebook syang hawak. I frowned when I saw what's written on
them.
He closed it when he saw me looking.
"Ano 'yan?"
"Wala."
"Ilocano words yun, di ba?"
Bahagya siyang pinamulahan. Ako naman ay napangiti.
"Nag-aaral kang mag-Ilocano?"
He sighed. "Gusto ko lang kasing maintindihan yung mga sinasabi nya. I'm getting tired of this, Mina.
Nakakasawa na."
"Then up your game. She's getting tired of waiting too."
--
They must have known that they like each other. Obvious naman sa mga kinikilos nila. If it's enough,
then I'd gladly leave them alone. But it's not. Sumasakit na naman ang ulo ko kaiisip.
"Huwag mo kasing masyadong isipin."
I sighed and turned to Cupid. He's leaning near the window again. That became his favorite spot ever
since that incident.
"What am I supposed to think about?"
His lips curved up to a smile. He looked outside, up to the night sky. "You could think about the
stars."
"I'll have plenty of time to think about them if I didn't meet the deadline."
He sighed. "Hindi ba't sinabi ko nang huwag kang magpaka-negative? Think positive thoughts."
"I can't help it. Malapit na kasi ang Valentine's day."
Hinarap nya ako. "Speaking of which, I have a gift for you. Ngayon ko na ibibigay... just in case."
"See? Kahit ikaw hindi confident na matatapos ko 'to."
"It's not that I'm not confident. But even if you finish the task, I don't know if I'll be allowed to
stay."
Right. He'll go back to heaven and I'll be left here, with memories disguised as dreams. I know the
past year will be forever etched in my subconscious. It would be like an itching in my brain, wanting
to be scratch but I won't be able to reach it.
"Saka ka na magpaka-emo. I'll show you something wonderful tonight."
"Susubukan ko."
"Close your eyes."
"What?"
"Pumikit ka kamo."
"Bakit?"
"Basta."
I closed my eyes. I heard a snap. I felt cold all of a sudden. Na para bang nasa labas ako. Malakas
na rin ang hangin. Wala na ang tunog ng mga sasakyan. The air is fresh.
"Pwede ka nang magmulat ng mata."
Namangha ako nang makita ko kung nasaan kami. There's a vast land in front of me. Clearing iyon na
napapaligiran ng matataas na bundok. Bilog na bilog ang buwan. Ang daming bituin sa langit. Parang
nagsabog ng glitters.
I don't see this many stars in the city. Natatabunan kasi ng ilaw. But there's an absence of man-made
light here. There are just the moon and the stars.
"Here, baka lamigin ka."
He was holding my jacket in his hands. I took it cautiously, careful not to touch even the tip of his
fingers. I thanked him and put it on. Prepared na prepared sya. May dala pa syang banig.
Nilatag niya iyon sa damuhan saka niya ako pinaupo.
"Wrong timing ka namang mag-picnic. Gabing-gabi."
He laughed. "We're not here for that."
"Ano'ng gagawin natin dito, magkikwentuhan?"
Inilapag niya yung paborito nyang fedora hat sa banig. Pinahiga nya ako. Tapos nahiga rin sya. May
isang dipa yata ang layo nya sa'kin.
He told me to look at the stars. I have never seen something so beautiful. Yung tipong parang hahanga
ka sa kung anumang lumikha sa kanila, whether it can be explained by science or not. I have my shares
of doubts. Mahirap kasing maniwala sa isang bagay na hindi mo nakikita. But whenever I look at the
stars, I'm always filled with wonder. And somehow, I believe.
"Anytime now," I heard him say.
"Huh?"
And then I saw it. Isa muna, tapos naging tatlo hanggang sa naging napakarami nila na para bang
umuulan.
Shooting stars. Napakaraming shooting stars. I wanted to make a wish but I can't think. I just stared
in awe.
The show lasted for almost thirty minutes. Half of that time, I was reaching out to the sky,
pretending that I have the power to capture a star in my hands. Pagkatapos ng meteor shower, we just
laid there for a few minutes.
We talked about things. Things that we would do if being together is possible. He said he would
gladly bring me here every night to watch the stars fall. I told him that I will bring a picnic
basket and a huge blanket.
I know it's silly to dream about stuff that will never come true, but I indulged myself.
--
February 14. The day.
Parang sasabog any minute sa loob ng school sa dami ng nakapula. Sa lahat ng classroom, may mga
nakasabit o nakadikit na puso. May mga estudyante na umaga pa lang ay may bitbit ng teddy bears at
bulaklak.
I got my gift a few days ago so I wasn't complaining. Compared to all the material things, what he
gave me was the best.
May klase pa kami ng umaga pero hindi na ako masyadong nagturo. I told my students to do whatever
they want. Regalo ko na sa kanila since Valentine's Day naman.
Muntik pa akong maiyak nang bigyan din nila ako ng regalo. They gave me a long-stemmed red rose and a
box of chocolates. Pinag-ambaganan daw nila.
Nang dumating ang hapon ay nagpunta kami sa field kung saan gaganapin ang program. Pasalamat kaming
maaliwalas ang langit. Maraming booths sa may stage. Kasama ko sina Cai at Silvia na gumala.
May booth kung saan pwedeng kang magpa-face paint. Merong nagtitinda ng strawberry ice cream.
Mayroong marriage booth. Meron silang gimik per department.
Bumili kami ng ice cream at saka tumayo sa tapat ng stage para manuod ng program. Saglit lang naman
iyon. Pagkatapos ay nagpatugtog sila ng love songs. I saw Joseph head to the dedication booth.
Habang busy sa pagdadaldalan ang dalawa kong kasama ay biglang may nagsalita.
"This next song is dedicated to Ma'am Silvia Diana Cortado."
Walang message. Iyon lang. Hindi rin sinabi kung kanino galing. We waited for them to play the song
pero wala namang pumailanlang na kanta. Maya-maya'y may biglang kumanta ng Magkabilang Mundo ni Jireh
Lim.
Natawa kami ni Cai kasi alam naming ayaw na ayaw ni Silvia ng kantang 'yon.
Then Cai squealed and pointed at the stage. Umakyat si Joseph, may tangan na isang malaking bouquet
ng red roses. He's wearing a pink shirt, probably because it's Silvia's favorite color.
Joseph stopped singing when he saw us. Ngumiti ito.
"Hi. Sorry, I know you hate that song. I just want to get your attention."
Silvia's face went blank. Inihanda ko na ang mga kamay ko. Pipigilan ko sya in case na maisipan nyang
umalis.
"I know we've been dodging the bullet since day one. We agreed to do things casually, no strings
attached. Well, the thing is, I grew too attached to you. And I don't know if you feel the same way.
But, Silvia-"
May ilan na impit na kinikilig sa tabi. I crossed my fingers. Please, please, please, let it be the
day...
Joseph got off the stage. Silvia took a step back, but Cai and I were quick to hold her in place.
"Please hear him out," I said.
Nang nasa tapat na namin si Joseph, we let her go. He handed her the bouquet.
"Ay-ayaten ka."
Yung reaction ni Silvia, para syang inabutan ng engagement ring. Mangiyak-ngiyak nyang tinanggap yung
bouquet. On cue, pumailanlang yung kantang I Do ng 98 Degrees.
"Ayna Apu! Nasyaat ta naibagam met lang!" she blurted out.
"Teka lang. Hindi ko inaral yan," natatawang sabi ni Joseph.
Iyak-tawa niya itong hinampas sa braso.
"Ay-ayaten ka met!"
I joined the applause. Finally! Gusto kong magtatalon sa tuwa! More so when Psyche appeared with the
jar. Bigla iyong umilaw ng bahagya. And then I saw the hearts with their names on it.
I did it. The task is done.
"Congratulations, Mina," nakangiti niyang bati.
'Thanks!'
But where's Cupid? Psyche must have known what I was thinking. Tumingin siya sa kanan. I followed her
gaze. He was walking towards us with a huge smile on his face.
The noise gradually receded. People became blurry. As he was drawing near, he started glowing.
Already? Akala ko hanggang gabi pa. I never thought it would be this sudden.
He smiled. Our time's almost up.
"Can you hold my hand?" I asked, trying to choke back the tears. This is the reality of my one year
experience with him. It has to end. And it will end now.
Unti-unti niyang inilapit ang kamay niya sa akin. I met him halfway. Ingat na ingat pa kami dahil
hindi namin alam kung ano ano ang mangyayari. The tips of our fingers touched. He glowed brighter,
but he didn't disappear. He didn't cringe in pain.
He slowly wrapped his hand on mine.
"Ah, finally."
I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.
He took one bold step and wiped the tears off my face with his other hand.
"I don't want to say goodbye." He kissed my forehead. His lips are toasty warm. "But I have to. A
deal's a deal."
Yumakap ako sa kanya at humagulhol. I could feel him getting warmer. Mas lalo siyang lumiliwanag. I
feel like he might explode any minute.
"Stop crying, Mina, please." He pushed me gently and smiled. He can't cry now because the human in
him is quickly fading. I did the task for our atonement. But is this really the reward I'll get?
I wiped the tears with the sleeves of my shirt. Wala akong pakialam kung mukha na akong dugyot
kaiiyak. Masakit e, ano'ng magagawa ko? I've grown attached. He's already rooted in my heart. And now
I have to let it all go.
Hinawakan nya ako sa balikat and tilted my head up. I had to squint because his light is making my
head ache.
"Mina, He told me to grant you one wish. Will you make a wish before I go?"
"Can I wish for you to stay?"
Umiling siya. "I'm sorry, but no."
Then what is left to wish for? But I know I have to make a wish, because he won't leave voluntarily
if I don't. Lumapit ako sa kanya, and through my sobs, I whispered my wish. I wished for Ate Jen's
happy ending. Since I can't have mine, I want her to have hers.
And then it became so bright that I had to close my eyes.
Translations:
Ay-ayaten ka. - I love you/Mahal kita.
Ayna Apu! Nasyaat ta naibagam met lang! - Oh my god! Buti naman nasabi mo rin!
Ay-ayaten met - I love you too/Mahal din kita.

####################################
Chapter 64: Back To Reality
####################################
I woke up feeling groggy. Para akong naka-droga. Parang nasobrahan sa tulog. My eyes took their time
adjusting to the surroundings.
"Ma! Gising na si Mina!"
I frowned. Boses ni kuya iyon, hindi ako pwedeng magkamali.
I looked at the white walls. May dextrose sa kaliwa ko. I was wearing a hospital robe. Hindi ko alam
kung ano'ng nangyari o kung gaano na katagal na ganoon ang estado ko. I can't remember anything.
"Mina!"
Napatingin ako sa pintuan. Pumasok si mama, kasunod si kuya. Tapos dumating din ang doktor kasama ang
isang nurse. They checked me, asked me things. But I couldn't speak so I just nod or shake my head.
My mother cried when the doctor said that I am okay. Hindi ko naman maitanong kung ano'ng nangyari
sa'kin. I couldn't will myself to speak.
Inayos nila yung unan sa likod k. Lumapit si mama at hinalikan ako sa noo.
"Akala ko hindi ka na gigising, anak."

--
Matapos ang ilang araw ay inilabas na rin ako ng ospital at iniuwi sa probinsya namin. Nagkaroon daw
ako ng cerebral anoxia, sabi ni Ate Jen. Isang taon akong comatose. Noong una, ang sabi'y baka raw
may brain injury ako. Then the doctors were surprised to fine out na wala naman. I was already
comatosed by then. They found nothing wrong with me, except that I won't wake up.
Ang sabi raw kina mama, mga ilang linggo lang ay gigising na rin ako. But weeks turned to months and
I was still not waking up. Araw-araw daw nasa ospital si mama. Minsan dadalaw din sina kuya at Ate
Aly. Minsan si Ate Jen.
Nang tanungin ko si Ate Jen kung bakit hindi dumadalaw si papa, nagulat sya.
"Mina, bata ka pa lang, wala na ang papa mo. Gusto mong multuhin ka nya?"
I was shocked, of course. Ang buong akala ko'y buhay si papa. It felt like he was alive.
Minsan na rin daw dumalaw si Lola Ghen. And Ate Jen freaked out when I told her na akala ko'y patay
na si Lola Ghen.
"Binubuhay mo yung patay tapos yung buhay, pinapatay mo," naiiling niyang sabi. "Malakas pa sa
kalabaw si Lola Ghen, 'no. Akala nga namin mauuna ka pa sa kanya. Buti na lang gumising ka."
"O? Kumusta na sila ni Lolo RB?"
She frowned. "Ang wirdo ng mga tanong mo. Paanong kumusta na sila?"
"Hindi ba naging sila?"
Tumawa sya. "Sira!" Then she suddenly became serious. "Patay na si Lolo RB. Bandang June, last year."
Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong matuwa dahil buhay pa si Lola Ghen o malungkot dahil wala na si
Lolo RB. Bakit parang sa panaginip ko sabay silang namaalam?
Lugaw pa rin yata ang utak ko.
"Uy, sige Mina. Puntahan na lang ulit kita mamaya ha? May lakad pa kasi kami ni Kyle," paalam nya
sa'kin.
"Si Kuya Kyle?"
"A, oo nga pala. Nung araw ng kasal ko, humingi ako ng sign kung dapat ba akong tumuloy. Gustong-
gusto ko na kasing umurong. Pero natatakot akong baka wala namang mangyari kung aatras ako. Tapos
bigla kang nahimatay.
"Hindi namin itinuloy ang kasal. Kasama ako sa mga nagdala sa'yo sa ospital. Pagkatapos noon,
kinausap ko si Samuel. Umamin ako sa kanya. Tapos sinundan ko si Kyle sa Maynila."
Parang nakahinga ako ng maluwag sa nalaman ko. Hindi naman sa masamang tao si Kuya Samuel. He's a
really good guy. Mabait pa ang pamilya nito. Pero noon pa man, si Kuya Kyle na ang gusto ko para kay
Ate Jen.
"Pa'no si Kuya Samuel?"
"Ayun, nagpuntang Amerika. Nagalit nga sa'kin ang pamilya nya e. Ang laking kahihiyan daw. Pero si
Samuel na mismo ang nakiusap na hayaan na lang nila ako."
"I'm happy for you, ate."
She touched my cheek. "Salamat."

--
Pagkaalis ni Ate Jen, tinawagan ko si Raice. Ang alam ko kasi may libro akong to be released. O na-
release na yata. Hindi ko alam.
Umiyak sya nang marinig ang boses ko. Hindi pa raw nataon na gumising ako nung nandoon sya.
"Na-release ba yung book?"
Last year, I wrote a novel about Cupid and a matchmaker. It took me a year to finish that novel. Nang
maa-prove ay trinabaho kaagad iyon ni Raice. It was set to be released last February 14. Para raw
sakto dahil yung theme ay tungkol sa love.
"Yes, kailangang i-push e. Don't worry, sinunod ko naman lahat ng gusto mo. Nga pala, di ba may
booksigning event ka last year kaso hindi natuloy? Plano sana naming ituloy. Kailan ka ba pwede?"
"Okay naman na ako. Ilang araw na rin akong mino-monitor. Wala naman daw problema sa'kin."
"Pwede ka next week? Maraming nagri-request sa'yo e."
"Sige. Magpapaalam lang ako kay mama."
After the call, I told my mom about the plan. Pumayag sya pero isama ko raw si kuya.
--
Since kagagaling ko lang sa coma, mabait sa'kin ang kuya ko. Todo asikaso sya sa'kin sa bus. Limang
oras din ang byahe namin. Pinagdala nya ako ng extrang damit since may tutulugan daw naman kami sa
Maynila.
Nang itanong ko sa kanya kung saan, nagulat ako sa sagot nya.
"Sa bahay ng girlfriend ko."
"Teka! Akala ko kayo ni Ate Aly?!"
Kahit mabait sya sa'kin, hindi nya ako napigilang sapukin. "Sira ka ba! Mas lalaki pa kaya sa'kin
yun!"
"Pero..."
"Huwag mong mababanggit kay Kim yan ha. Baka sa labas tayo ng bahay patulugin."
Ang alam ko talaga sila na ni Ate Aly. Pero sabagay, it turns out na ang daming bagay na akala ko'y
alam ko ang hindi naman pala totoo.
Mabait naman si Kim (huwag ko raw syang tawaging ate kasi halos magkaedaran lang kami). Tabi kaming
matulog noong gabi habang nasa kabilang kwarto naman si kuya.
Kinabukasan, nakipagkita ako kay Raice sa isang hotel sa Makati kung saan gaganapin yung signing.
Sabi nya, lumaki raw ang bilang ng bumili ng libro nang malaman nilang na-comatose ako. Baka hindi
lang singkwenta ang dumating sa booksigning.
Kinabahan ako. Yung mga nauna ko kasing libro, swerte na kung maka-trenta ang magpapa-sign.
"Gumala ka muna. Mamaya pa namang ala-una yung start. Have some lunch first."
"Hindi ka sasabay?"
She shook her head. "May aasikasuhin pa ako e."
Tumango na lang ako at inaya sina kuya na kumain. Nagpunta kami sa malapit na mall at naghanap ng
makakainan. Nasa may activity center kami nang biglang magkagulo.
Napatanga kami sa flash mob sa ibaba (nasa second floor kami). May sinasayawan silang babae sa gitna.
Tapos may lalaking naka-pink na polo ang lumapit. May hawak itong isang bouquet ng red roses.
Parang deja vu. I feel like this happened already. Pero kahit anong pilit ko, hindi ko maalala kung
saan o kailan.
I saw some people raise placards. SILVIA, WILL YOU MARRY ME? ang nakalagay. One word per placard. And
then, the guy knelt down in front of her.
Kim and I gushed. It's rare to see public proposals like this. Iba yung feeling. Infectious. Parang
sa akin nag-propose yung lalaki. Ganoon yung tuwa. Ramdam na ramdam kahit ng mga nanunuod.
"Tsk. Tara na nga! Gutom na 'ko," reklamo ni kuya.
Napilitan kaming sumunod nang naglakad sya palayo.
Nang magkasundo kami sa kakainan, naupo na kami at naningin ng menu. Around 200 yung mga pagkain.
Okay lang naman sa'kin since libre ni kuya-his words, not mine.
Kasalukuyan kaming namimili ng menu nang may batang lalaking lumapit sa'kin.
"Hello," bati ko.
Ngumiti lang ito sa'kin.
"Evan!" May babaeng lumapit sa'kin. I don't know why she felt familiar too. "Sorry ha. Malikot kasi
'tong baby ko."
"Okay lang."
Kinalong nito ang anak. "Say 'bye', baby."
The boy just waved.
"Bye, Evan!"
That name sounds familiar too.
Itinuon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa pagkain. Pagkatapos ng lunch, bumalik na kami sa hotel.
Hinintay namin ang alauna tapos ay sinimulan na nilang papilahin yung mga magpapirma. Nagulat ako sa
dami.
Natutuwa ako syempre. Kita ko pa yung iba na may mga regalong dala.
Nang magsimula na ang signing, I took my time writing messages on their books. Yung iba ay natutuwa
raw na makita ako. Mabuti naman daw at nagising ako from the coma. I was really grateful.
Kakaibang experience, knowing na muntik ko na itong hindi magawa.
--
Nangangalahati pa lang ay masakit na ang kamay ko. Nakakahiya namang basta pirma na lang ang ilagay
ko since nasimulan ko nang maglagay ng message. Parang walang katapusan ang pila. Pero baka mabagal
lang talaga akong pumirma.
Supposedly, alas kwatro ang tapos ng signing pero na-extend ng 4:30 dahil may ilan pang dumating.
I sighed in relief when the last person came to the table. I took the book and flipped the cover.
Walang nakalagay na pangalan, so I had to ask.
"Ano'ng name mo?" I asked the girl.
"Ay, hindi po para sa'kin yan. Nakapagpa-sign na po ako kanina."
"Ganun ba?"
Tumango siya. "Eros po yung name."
Eros-why did I feel funny upon hearing that name? Ah, right. Must be because Eros is another name for
Cupid.
Pagkatapos kong mapirmahan yung libro nya ay tumayo na ako at nag-inat. Lumapit sa'kin si Raice at
nag-congratulate sa'kin. I thanked her for everything. Siguro kung wala sya, baka wala akong
pinipirmahan ngayon.
Paalis na sana kami nang may biglang akong napansin.
Yung babaeng huli kong pinirmahan, may kausap syang lalaki sa isang tabi. He looks familiar. Pero
hindi ko matandaan kung saan ko sya nakita.
He's wearing a white long-sleeved shirt na nakalilis ang manggas hanggang sa may siko. Naka-tuck in
iyon sa maroon shorts nya. He has curly hair, dark brown. Kahit hindi sya ngumingiti, kitang may
malalim na dimples sya sa tigkabilang pisngi.
I smiled when I realized why he looks so familiar. That's how I pictured Cupid in my head.
####################################
Epilogue
####################################
They saw me staring. The guy looked away. Kumaway naman sa'kin yung babae. She took his hand and
walked towards me.
"Hi po ulit. Ito nga po pala yung pinsan ko, si Kuya Eros. Mahiyain po kasi 'to kaya pinapirmahan nya
na lang sa'kin yung book nya."
When our eyes met, I felt goosebumps at the back of my neck. I ignored the funny feeling and smiled.
"Hi."
Tumikhim si Eros. "Uhm, h-hello."
"May nakalimutan po kasi syang ipabigay," paliwanag ng pinsan nya. "Kuya, sa labas lang ako ha?"
Naiwan kaming nakatayo sa may exit ng maliit na function hall. He looked down on his feet. He has
this adorable vibe about him. Ang cute nya kasi, tapos mahiyain. I don't know. I just find it
adorable.
"May ibibigay ka raw?"
He cleared his throat again. Saka sya dumukot sa bulsa. He gave me a miniature bottle. Parang iyong
nasa kwento, only a lot smaller. It has a red string tied to the cork. Sa loob ay may dalawang pusong
gawa sa kulay pulang coloured paper.
May mga pangalang nakasulat doon. Napangiti ako.
CUPID - MINA
####################################
Author's Note
####################################
TAPOS NA!!!!
Sobrang saya kong natapos ko rin sya after more than a year! Mamimiss ko yung pangungulit ninyo ng
updates. Hahaha. Sana nagustuhan ninyo yung ending. Sana nagustuhan nyo yung kwento. Ito na yata yung
pinakang-interactive kong kwento. Ang dami ko ring natutunan sa inyo. Ang dami kong nameet na readers
na ang deep ng understanding.
Nakakatuwa na ang lalalim ninyong mag-isip. Haha.
Wala na rin yung sakit ng ulo ko.
Nung naisip ko yung ending, sobrang relieved ko kasi matatapos na rin sa wakas. Pero ngayong tina-
type ko ang author's note, feeling ko parang ayaw ko pang bumitiw.
Graduation goggles yata. But anyway... thank you guys for reading!
Hope I made it worth your while. :)

####################################
GUSTO NYO BA NG SEQUEL?
####################################
Alam kong marami kayong tanong sa utak nyo. Most Wattpad readers aren't fans of open endings. Nung
natapos ko 'to, nakaisip na ako ng pwedeng continuation. Kaso may nagsabi sa'king huwag na.
Ako gusto ko talagang isulat yun kesa gumawa ako ng special chapters. May rough draft na ng plot at
temporary ending.
So... ano? Willing ba kayong maghintay ng matagal na update kung sakali? If you are, please tell me
the things that you want to see on book 2 and the questions you want answered.
Make it insighful please. Ayokong ma-discourage. Hahaha.
P.S. Sana suportahan nyo rin yun kagaya ng pagsuporta nyo sa KH. (Kung sakaling matuloy).
####################################
Sequel? Sequel.
####################################
Yes, may sequel. It's entitled REMEMBERING CUPID at naipost ko na ang first chapter. Pwede namang
hindi na yun basahin. Kung okay na kayo sa ending nito, it's fine. Baka nga naman magulo pa yung
kwento sa utak nyo. Pero kung gusto nyong malaman yung mga susunod na nangyari after that bottle-
handing thingy... then go ahead and read.
Either way, thank you. :)
####################################
Cupid's Playlist
####################################
Para sa mga curious. Eto po yung anim na kanta na nasa Cupid's Playlist CD na binigay ni Eros kay
Mina. Dito ko na lang nilagay kasi ampangit naman kung every other chapter e may paningit na ganito
sa RC. Saka since dito rin naman galing yung mga kantang featured dun, so...
Heaven Can Wait by We The Kings
Stupid Love Letter by The Friday Night Boys
Down by Jason Walker
Her Love Is My Religion by The Cab
Ever Enough by A Rocket To The Moon
Matchmaker by AJ Rafael
P.S. Sana magustuhan nyo rin. Magaganda naman yan. :)

####################################
Main Characters
####################################
Para sa mga nagtatanong, heto na po yung real names ng 3 main characters ng KH. Yung iba, as
themselves naman so di ko na sinama.
*Cupid - Aaron Johnson
*Mina - Emily Rudd
*Psyche - Miranda Kerr
Character portrayers on RC (kung maisipan ko mang maghanap) will be announced pag tapos na ang story.
Please understand that. Thanks.

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I wished for magic... and I got just that.

Mabuti na lamang at marami kaming kumot.

Napakunot ang noo ko nang may mapansin ako.

"Mom, what's the red string for?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Oh my God nay! It's coming out of your finger!"

Pero baka naman lasing pa rin ako?

I looked down on my hands. No strings. Bakit ganito? Ano'ng nangyayari?

"The one and only."

I raised one eyebrow at him. "And your last name is?"

He shrugged. "Just Cupid."

I didn't even hesitate. Sumunod agad ako sa kanya.

"Ano'ng ginagawa natin dito?"

"You're not funny!"

He held up his hand. "Sorry."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What drunken wish?"

Ngumiti sya sa akin pagkasabi noon.

"Bakit? Ano ba ang hiniling ko?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"The magic of love, Karmina. The magic of love."

"Mina! Kanina ka pa namin hinahanap!"

"Kumakain na sila dun. Tara na!" aya sa 'min ni Kuya Sic.

Nilingon ko si Cupid. "Kakain kami, sama ka?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Sino'ng kausap mo?" kunot-noong tanong ni Ate Aly.

"Bago kong kakilala Ate, si Cupid."

"Uy 'wag naman kayong ganyan-"

"They can't see me," sabat naman ni Cupid.

Nilingon ko sya. "What do you mean they can't see you?"

Kinikilabutan yata ako.

"Pano ka napunta dyan?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Ah... Sorry po Tito, di ko po kayo napansin," sabi ko na lang sa tito ko.

"A what?!" Did he just say... matchmaker?

"Are you nuts?! I can't do that!"

"What do you mean?"

"Let me ask you a question Mina. Do you believe in soul mates?"

"How about fate? Destiny? Kismet?"

"No. I don't believe in those," sagot ko sabay subo ng isang inihaw.

"Paano kung sabihin ko sa 'yo na totoo sila?" tanong nya.

Napatawa ako. "Yeah, right."

"I'm dead serious."

"Talaga? Eh bakit mas malaki ang ratio ng mga babae sa lalaki?"

"So pwedeng same gender?"

Tumawa sya. "What's so surprising about that?"

"Eh kase di ba sabi ng simbahan-"

Napamulagat ako sa kanya. "Ano'ng ibig sabihin nun?"

Okay. He sounds a bit convincing.

"Wow," nasambit ko na lang pagkatapos nyang magpaliwanag.

"What task?" gulat kong tanong.

"And what if I don't?"

"You will break a lot of hearts," sagot nya.

"Hearts don't break. They're not made of glass."

He laughed at me. "Are you always this cynical?"

"And what if they do?"

"Then I won't care," sagot ko.

I gasped. "What about Ate Jen?"

He looked across us. "She married the wrong guy."

Tumango-tango sya. "Tell me then, why did she hesitate?"

"Who's the right guy then?"

At ngayon nga ay kasal na ang dalawa.

Tama nga sila, be careful what you wish for.

"You need to fill this jar with six connected hearts."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

Iniabot niya iyon sa akin.