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To be translated to Italian, with English subtitles.

I/E. A PUBLIC SQUARE IN FRONT OF A SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

An old but endearing school building stands before a cobbled


public square in a small town in Italy. A bell RINGS; class
has ended. Children gather and play on the steps outside.

EUGENIA, 9, sits on the steps. Over her mousy brown hair she
wears a headband that perfectly matches her blue school
uniform. She and her friend watch Boy 1 standing in a small
group of other boys.

Boy 1 turns around when he hears them giggle. He catches


Eugenia's eye, shyly looks away, then looks again. They
exchange a smile.

Eugenia's friend nudges her. With a mischievous look, Eugenia


rips a piece of paper out of her notebook and writes, in
pencil: Do you like me? with boxes for yes and no.

She gives the note to her friend, who passes it to Boy 1, who
keeps it close to his face so his friends can't see. He
checks one of the boxes and returns it, blushing and refusing
to make eye contact.

Eugenia jumps for the note. Boy 1 has checked "yes." For a
brief moment, Eugenia's face lights up. Then she glances at
Boy 1, who has mustered enough courage to look at her. Her
smile breaks suddenly. She runs back into the school
building.

Her friend dashes after her.

FRIEND
He said no! That little shit!

EUGENIA
He said yes!

FRIEND
Then what's wrong? Isn't that what you
wanted?

EUGENIA
(crying)
You don't get it! I don't like him
anymore! I don't like him anymore!

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2.

FADE TO:

INT. SCHOOL - MORNING

EUGENIA, now 13, stands in front of her locker in a pale


hallway. With a coy look on her face, she watches Boy 2, a
few lockers away from her. He smiles at her, then pulls a red
rose out of his locker. Her face falls as he hands it to her.

CUT TO:

EXT. A PUBLIC SQUARE IN FRONT OF A SCHOOL - MORNING

Boy 2 chases after Eugenia.

BOY 2
Eugenia! I love you!

Eugenia looks like she is running for her life.

TITLE APPEARS: THE GIRL WHO LOVED A STATUE.

CUT TO:

INT. AN UGLY APARTMENT - MORNING

Eugenia, 18, sits in her underwear on a threadbare sofa in a


living room with peeling walls. DVDs and dirty clothes that
look like they belong to a man are strewn on the floor.
Lifelessly, she watches a soccer game on TV.

LUCA, 22, enters the room shirtless, with a protein shake in


his hand. He is very attractive and very hairy.

Eugenia's expression does not change. She pulls the blanket


around her shoulders tight.

Luca sets the protein shake on the coffee table and sits down
beside her. He wraps a hairy, muscular arm around her. She
feigns a smile. He begins making out with her.

They kiss for a while, then she pulls away suddenly.

EUGENIA
I need to use the bathroom.

LUCA
(smirking)
Do you want to shower together?

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3.

EUGENIA
No.

She goes to the bathroom and shuts the door quickly. Leaning
against the rusty sink, she pulls out her pink-polka-dot-
encased phone and goes to her "Frequently contacted" section.
She clicks on the first result: "Francesco," with a cheese
emoji beside it.

FRANCESCO, 19, picks up on the second ring.

FRANCESCO (O.S.)
Eugenia! How's the smokingly hot
wonderfully fit broodingly artistic--

EUGENIA
(in a hushed tone)
Can you pick me up?

FRANCESCO (O.S.)
Pick you up? Why, I thought you were
totally into Luca!

EUGENIA
That's how it usually goes, now, isn't
it?

FRANCESCO (O.S.)
Bad in bed?

EUGENIA
No, he's not.

FRANCESCO (O.S.)
Then what could it possibly be this
time?

EUGENIA
Can you just pick me up? Please. I'll
tell you in the car. And I'll buy you
Noni's.

FRANCESCO (O.S.)
Who can say no to Noni's? Fine, I'll
save you from your misery. Twenty
minutes.

CUT TO:

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EXT. OUTSIDE AN APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING

Eugenia, now fully clothed in a white shirt and jeans, leaves


the old apartment building. There is a a red Jeep Italia
waiting outside.

Luca runs out the door behind her.

LUCA
Eugenia!

Eugenia does not look back.

EUGENIA
I'm sorry.

She opens the car door. In the driver's seat, Francesco


watches the scene, amused.

LUCA
Who is this? Are you seeing someone
else?

Eugenia gets in the passenger seat and shuts the door. The
car rolls away.

LUCA
(calling out)
I'll beat him up!

CUT TO:

INT. FRANCESCO'S JEEP - TRAVELING

Eugenia is covering her face with her hands. Francesco starts


to laugh, and she follows suit.

FRANCESCO
(overly cheery)
Good morning, Eugenia!

Eugenia laughs harder.

FRANCESCO (CONT.)
I am very much ready for this episode
of "Eugenia Tells All."

She shrugs with a self-deprecating smile.

EUGENIA
I don't know. I don't know what's

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wrong with me.

FRANCESCO
This has happened--how many times now?
With Nico, with that American kid
James--I think he was gay, by the way--

EUGENIA
He was not!

FRANCESCO
--and that one time I hooked you up
with my friend Alessandro...

EUGENIA
It's happened ever since I was little.
Where are we going? I thought Noni's
was that way.

FRANCESCO
We're not going to Noni's.

She looks at him in surprise.

FRANCESCO (CONT.)
I was at home thinking, "this little
town is so boring! What would a
tourist do?" So I went on Yelp--

Eugenia breaks out in laughter.

FRANCESCO (CONT.)
Don't laugh! I went on Yelp, and I
found this weird monument not too far
from here. I had no idea it exists but
there's a nice garden in front, so I
thought, "I'll bring some wine and
some cheese and Eugenia can tell me
all about her latest disaster!"

EUGENIA
Oh--screw you! I'm just here for the
wine!

WE SEE HER SMILING FACE THROUGH THE REFLECTION OF THE CAR


WINDOW. OUTSIDE, TALL CYPRUS TREES LINE THE ROAD, WHICH
SNAKES THROUGH A ROLLING GREEN VALLEY.

ZOOM OUT. WE WATCH THE CAR FROM OVERHEAD.

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FRANCESCO (O.S.)
So did his breath smell?

EUGENIA (O.S.)
No! Not as bad as yours! Shut up!

Francesco laughs, and we

CUT TO:

EXT. MONUMENT GARDEN - EARLY AFTERNOON

Eugenia sits on the grass in flowery garden with stone


fountains carved with fat cherubs. There are cheese rinds
strewn on the ground and an empty wine bottle toppled beside
her. Francesco stands in front of her and takes his last swig
of wine from the bottle. Then he begins to walk away.

EUGENIA
Where are you going?

FRANCESCO
I need to pee.

Eugenia, already red-faced and happy-looking, starts to


laugh. She shoots up to her feet and follows him.

EUGENIA
You need to pee? Where are you going
to pee?

FRANCESCO
I don't know. Stop following me.

EUGENIA
(still laughing)
You can't hold it until we leave?

He is heading toward a wooded area away from the garden and


behind the the grouping of marble ruins that make up the
monument. He enters the treeline, reasonably far from and to
the left of the monument, to which his back is turned. He
begins to unbutton his pants. Eugenia skips over to him.

FRANCESCO
Are you still following me? (He
glances behind his shoulder.) Knock
off, Eugenia! You always try to do
this!

Eugenia giggles. She gives him his space and trails toward

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the monument, her interest loosely piqued.

A security guard stands in front of the monument, looking


stern, even though only one tourist in a bucket hat is there.
The guard has not noticed Francesco, peeing in the distance.

When Eugenia approaches the monument, the security guard


reluctantly steps away to give her more space. There is a
statue in the center of the monument. It is of a young man,
naked and proud-looking, with sinewy muscles and curly hair.
When Eugenia catches sight it, her eyes widen, her mouth
agape.

She takes a few steps closer. The security guard scowls at


her. Eugenia's face nearly touches the marble now.

Francesco suddenly appears behind her. He is still adjusting


his pants.

FRANCESCO
(looking at her, confused)
Eugenia--

SECURITY GUARD
Not so close!

Eugenia snaps back. She still looks in awe.

FRANCESCO
(chuckling)
You really like art don't you,
Eugenia?

EUGENIA
(under her breath)
He's beautiful.

She turns to the security guard.

EUGENIA (CONT.)
Who-- Excuse me, who was this man?
There's no placard.

SECURITY GUARD
(gruffly)
I don't know.

FRANCESCO
No one knows. On Yelp it just said
that it was recently discovered.

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EUGENIA
(staring at the statue)
That's it?

FRANCESCO
I think so. Maybe it said it was from
the 17th century.(Incredulously he
glances at Eugenia, who's still
looking at it in awe.) It just looks
like any other statue to me.

Eugenia is silent.

FRANCESCO
(hushed)
Do you think he's sexy? He looks like
he's packing.

The security guard gives him a glare as pointed as a dagger.

Eugenia does not respond.

FRANCESCO (CONT.)
Are you okay?

EUGENIA
(breathlessly)
I'm just so--

Her legs wobble, and she falls butt-first onto the ground.
Her expression does not even flinch; she continues gazing up
at the statue. Francesco swoops in and grabs her from under
the armpit.

The security guard watches warily.

FRANCESCO
Eugenia--do you need me to get you
home?

EUGENIA
(loudly)
No!

FRANCESCO
You know, I've read about this before.
(He glances at the security guard.)
Florence Syndrome--it's very rare, you
see, but you can faint upon seeing a
beautiful artwork. Although, we're not
in Florence, and I wouldn't say this

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9.

fellow is that beautiful. But I think


Eugenia begs to differ. Eugenia? Are
you okay? (She nods.) I think it's the
wine. We just need to let it wear off
a little.

He gives the security guard an apologetic smile. She scoffs


and looks away from the pair.

Francesco sits down next to Eugenia.

FRANCESCO
So, drunk girl, would you hit that?

EUGENIA
I'm not drunk.

FRANCESCO
But you'd hit it.

EUGENIA
Don't be silly. He's a statue.

CUT TO:

EXT. MONUMENT - AFTERNOON

The sun is significantly lower in the sky than it was before.


Eugenia and Francesco are still sitting in front of the
statue. They are the only people at the monument, other than
the security guard, who looks at them every few seconds as
though they are crazy.

Eugenia's head is in Francesco's lap. She stares up near-


unblinkingly at the statue. Francesco is leaning against a
pillar, drifting off to sleep.

He blinks himself awake.

FRANCESCO
(sleepily)
I don't even know how many hours we've
been here.

EUGENIA
What was that?

FRANCESCO
Eugenia. Let's go. We're leaving.

She groans in protest.

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10.

FRANCESCO (CONT.)
If you want to stay any longer you'll
have to take an Uber back. I'm tired
of looking at this damn statue.

He gently props her up, then lifts her to her feet.

WE WATCH FROM THE STATUE'S EYE LEVEL AS THEY WALK TO THE CAR.

Eugenia looks back at the statue.

CLOSE UP OF THE STATUE'S FACE.

CUT TO:

INT. EUGENIA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Eugenia's room is pink and floral, and awash with a warm


glow. A large poster of the Italian national football team
hangs above her bed. Next to it is a print of "View of
Toledo," by Goya. Eugenia sits at her desk, frantically
Googling on a Mac laptop in a purple sleeve.

After searching "17th century statue Italy recent discovery


2016," she scrolls and scowls when she gets no good results.
Then she quickly finds the statue on Yelp and clicks its
picture. It fills up her entire screen. She bites her lip.

She grabs her phone and calls Francesco.

FRANCESCO
Feeling better?

EUGENIA
I literally can't find anything about
the statue anywhere other than Yelp.

Two beats of silence.

FRANCESCO
You're still--Are you kidding me?
You're obsessed, Eugenia!

EUGENIA
(defensively)
You know how I like art!

FRANCESCO
Not like this! If I didn't know any
better, I'd say you're in love with
this fucking statue.

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Eugenia is silent.

FRANCESCO
You are, aren't you! This is sick.

EUGENIA
I'm not--

FRANCESCO
And you know why you're in love with
it? It's inanimate. It will never
talk, or love you back, and so you'll
never get tired of it. God help an
actual human who tries to love you!

EUGENIA
Francesco--

The line clicks. Eugenia sets her phone down, looking at it


confusedly.

Her eyes move back to the photo on her screen. She gazes at
it for a few seconds, transfixed. Her hand starts to travel
to her pants.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER (O.S.)


(from outside the bedroom door)
Eugenia!

Eugenia whips her hand out of her underwear.

EUGENIA
(irritated)
What?

EUGENIA'S MOTHER (O.S.)


Help your brothers set the table!

EUGENIA
Fine.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER (V.O.)


Now please, or dinner will get cold!

Eugenia begrudgingly stands and opens the door. Her MOTHER,


44, stands outside with a giant cloud of curly hair and a
pasta sauce-stained apron. She gives her a hug with one of
her hands. The other arm has streaks of flour on it.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
Where have you been all day? I hope

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you're not still hanging out with that


boy Francesco.

EUGENIA
Mom--

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
He's a no good troublemaker! You
remember what he did that one time
when he was in school with you--

EUGENIA
Mom. Not now. It--it wasn't Francesco--
it was Sara.

Eugenia flicks the light switch off.

WE WATCH FROM INSIDE THE DARKENED ROOM AS THEY LEAVE THE


DOORWAY.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
(her voice fading away)
Sara? Who's Sara? You hardly have any
girfriends, Eugenia--the only one I
know about is Anna Maria...

CLOSE UP OF EUGENIA'S COMPUTER--SHE HAS LEFT THE PHOTO OF THE


STATUE OPEN.

CUT TO:

EXT. ITALIAN COUNTRYSIDE - AFTERNOON

POP MUSIC PLAYS. WE WATCH FROM ABOVE AS EUGENIA RIDES HER


BIKE DOWN THE SAME COUNTRY ROAD SHE AND FRANCESCO HAD
TRAVELED THE PREVIOUS DAY.

Eugenia has on large tortoiseshell sunglasses, and her bike


is bright purple with a basket full of orange flowers. She
somehow makes riding a bike look cool.

CUT TO:

EXT. MONUMENT - AFTERNOON

Eugenia parks her bike on the grass and walks to the


monument. The security guard--the same woman as before--gives
her a look of both bewilderment and skepticism. There are
other visitors there: an American couple. They approach the
security guard.

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13.

AMERICAN MAN
(in English)
Excuse me, my wife here's a botanist
and she and I were wondering about a
certain kind of flower--those reddish,
kind of yellowy ones right below the
fountain--here, we can show you--

Annoyed, the guard sighs and follows them, giving Eugenia a


cagey look before she goes. Eugenia does not even notice. She
goes straight for the statue.

She stares at it in wonder, then takes a few steps closer


until she is face-to-face with it. In a sudden decisive
moment, she plants her lips on the statue's. Then her arm is
around its neck. Before long she is full-on making out with
it.

SECURITY GUARD
(from a distance)
HEY!

Eugenia snaps back instantly. With a look of panic, she


begins to run.

SECURITY GUARD
You there! Stop right now! You're
crazy!

The security guard chases Eugenia, who hightails it back to


her bike. But her bike has disappeared; in its place is
Francesco's Jeep. Eugenia gapes at him, sitting in the
driver's seat. He rolls down the window.

FRANCESCO
Get in! Your bike's in my trunk .
Hurry. Hurry!

She dashes to the passenger side.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANCESCO'S JEEP - AFTERNOON

The security guard's face looms a few feet away from


Eugenia's window as soon as she sits down.

EUGENIA
(breathlessly)
How did you know?

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FRANCESCO
(putting the car into drive)
I had a bad feeling.

The car speeds forward in the direction of the monument.

EUGENIA
What are you doing?

He has a giant impish grin on his face.

EUGENIA
Francesco, what the FUCK are you
doing?

The car is twenty meters away from the monument. Through the
rearview mirror he glances at the guard, his eyes gleaming
with excitement and nervousness.

FRANCESCO
We're stealing the statue.

The car skids to a stop right in front of the monument. He


hops out of the car as Eugenia watches, shocked.

EUGENIA
Francesco!

The guard tries to catch up to him, but she is still far


behind the car. The American tourists gape at the scene.

SECURITY GUARD
(shouting from a distance)
Stop! What do you think you're doing?

With a swooping movement, Francesco picks up the statue--base


and all. Eugenia's jaw drops.

SECURITY GUARD
STOP! Stop right now.

Eugenia jumps to open the backseat door. Straining with the


weight of the statue, Francesco runs to the car. He slides
the statue into the backseat.

The security guard is at their tail now, a few feet behind


the car. Francesco skips over to the driver's seat, fluidly
gets in, and accelerates.

FRANCESCO
And you thought Luca was the only one

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who went to the gym.

The guard runs hot-faced beside the car, trying to reach


Francesco's window. For a moment, Francesco looks terrified.
Then the car begins to pick up speed. Francesco laughs wildly
as he makes a sharp turn and drives past the security guard.
He maneuvers the car back to the road.

EUGENIA
Are you crazy?

At first, she looks outraged, but then she glances at


Francesco's lit up eyes and her face softens. She chuckles
incredulously, and the two of them fall into laughter.

The car speeds down the empty country road.

EUGENIA
I didn't know your car could go that
fast.

FRANCESCO
Neither did I.

He still looks flushed with adrenaline; his hands shake on


the wheel.

EUGENIA
Why the fuck did you do that?

FRANCESCO
For you--why else?

EUGENIA
I didn't want it.

FRANCESCO
It's an olive branch.

EUGENIA
The last thing I want is for you to
get in trouble-

FRANCESCO
Take it.

He shoots her a glance. She stares into her lap. A few beats
pass.

EUGENIA
What if it had been fixed to the

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16.

ground?

Francesco shrugs.

FRANCESCO
We need to take some chances, don't
we?

He smiles at her. It's soft, meaningful. She smiles back,


gingerly.

SHOT OF THE CAR FROM OVERHEAD, DRIVING THROUGH THE LANE LINED
WITH CYPRESS TREES.

FADE TO:

EXT. ITALIAN COUNTRYSIDE - LATE AFTERNOON

The sun is setting. Francesco has parked the Jeep in a field,


far from the road, which is merely a black line on the
horizon. He and Eugenia sit shoulder-to-shoulder on the
grass, leaning against the car. The statue stands tall at
Eugenia's feet.

Francesco stares straight ahead at the sky, which is awash in


pink. Eugenia glances at him suddenly, then looks away. He
does the same.

She leans in to kiss him. Right as she does so, her foot
stretches out forcefully and she accidentally kicks the
statue, knocking it over. A second before their lips meet,
there's a crash.

SLOW MOTION: The statue crumbles to the ground, releasing a


swirl of white dust. Eugenia leaps up and reaches out her
hand, as though to stop it. She yells something, but her
voice is muffled. Francesco stands up and grabs her arm. She
whirls around. He presses his lips on hers. They kiss.

FADE TO:

INT. FRANCESCO'S FIAT - TRAVELING

SOFT ITALIAN POP MUSIC PLAYS. Francesco is driving back to


town as Eugenia looks out the window, lost in thought. The
sky is tinged with deep blue now, and the sun has almost
dipped below the horizon.

He smiles at her. She looks at him and smiles back, content.


Their eye contact lasts for a few moments.

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17.

FADE TO:

INT. DINING ROOM IN EUGENIA'S HOUSE - EVENING

The dining room is lit with a warm, yellow glow. Eugenia, her
mother, and one of her little brothers sit at a wooden table
with mismatched cutlery and colorful cloth napkins. Eugenia
stares into her pasta wistfully.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
Eugenia, where have you been all day?

Eugenia does not hear her; she rolls one of her meatballs
around the plate with a fork.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
Eugenia? What are you thinking about?
Oh-did you hear that boy Francesco
went to jail?

EUGENIA
(shooting up from her chair)

WHAT?

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
(scooping some more spaghetti onto
Eugenia's brother's plate)
For stealing and destroying an old
statue, of all things! It's about time--
remember he never got in trouble for
the graffiti on the cathe--

She notices Eugenia, who is standing frozen.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER (CONT.)


Eugenia, why do you look like you've
seen a ghost? Please don't tell me
you're still involved with this bo-

Suddenly the front door opens, and another of Eugenia's


brothers, BRUNO, 7, bursts in, holding something white and
large.

BRUNO
Mama! Look what I found in the yard.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
Bruno, I told you to come inside
already! Your food's going to get
cold!

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Eugenia's eyes widen as she stares at what's in her brother's


hands.

EUGENIA
What is that?

He gives it to her, giggling, then sits down at the table.

It is a large fragment of the statue's face. Attached is a


note in messy handwriting: So you can kiss it forever, you
lovely lunatic. Love always, Francesco.

Eugenia's mother has come up from behind. She gasps and puts
her hand to her heart when she sees what it is.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
Oh-now we're ALL going to jail!

Eugenia rushes to the open door.

EUGENIA'S MOTHER
(sternly)
Where are YOU going, young woman?

EUGENIA
(calling out over her shoulder)
I have something I need to fix.

CUT TO:

INT. PRISON - NIGHT

A passive-looking guard leads Eugenia through a dusty prison


hallway. She looks visibly uncomfortable. They reach a cell
at the end of the hallway, where Francesco is temporarily
alone. He is still in his street clothes.

FRANCESCO
Eugenia!

GUARD
You have five minutes.

He leaves them. Eugenia steps to the bars. She gives


Francesco a halfhearted smile.

EUGENIA
Francesco--I'm so sorry. (Tears well
in her eyes.)

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FRANCESCO
(quietly)
Don't cry.

He reaches out through the bars and wipes away her tears.
Eugenia grabs his hand.

EUGENIA
How long will you be in here?

FRANCESCO
(shrugging)
A few years at most.

Eugenia whimpers. More tears fall down her face.

EUGENIA
(in a whisper)
What can I do?

FRANCESCO
Don't worry about it. (He attempts a
grin.) It was bound to happen at some
point.

EUGENIA
How--how did they find you?

FRANCESCO
(shrugs)
That fucking security guard probably
memorized my license number or
something.

EUGENIA
I can't help but feel like this is all
my fault. I broke the statue-

FRANCESCO
Shhh. (He gazes at her tenderly.)
Don't say that. I was the one who
stole it in the first place. At least
now you know there's someone even
crazier than you.

EUGENIA
Francesco--

She pauses, looks down at her feet, then up at him.

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20.

EUGENIA (CONT.)
I love you.

FRANCESCO
(chuckling)
No wonder you love me now--I'm like a
statue here.

EUGENIA
No, not just now. I loved you the
moment we were running away from that
bitch of a security guard. You were
laughing and--you were brilliant, and
scared to death. How could I love a
statue now that I've seen something
so... alive?

They kiss through the bars.

The guard appears behind Eugenia. She steps back, looking at


Francesco longingly.

FRANCESCO
Write to me.

She nods. They lock eyes as the guard pulls her away.

FADE TO:

EXT. ITALIAN COUNTRYSIDE - AFTERNOON

THREE MONTHS LATER.

Eugenia's voiceover is interlaid over a scene:

EUGENA (V.O.)
Dear Francesco, I'm going to the
Università degli Studi di Torino to
study art history like I've always
wanted. Maybe now I can learn more
about the statue we broke. Too soon?
(A beat passes.) One day soon when you
get out we're going to make love in
that garden we drank in, right in
front of that security guard. I
promise it'll happen. Maybe this time,
we'll both go to jail. Who knows. I'd
go anywhere with you. Just no more
Yelp recommendations, please. Love,
Eugenia.

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21.

Eugenia bikes down the same road as before. When she reaches
the monument, she lays down her bike and takes the fragment
of the statue's face out of the basket. The security guard
(the same woman as before) watches her with extreme sternness
as she approaches. Eugenia gives the guard the marble
fragment, with a smile and a shrug. The guard is astonished.
She stares at Eugenia for a few beats, then her face softens
slightly. She nods once, then stares straight ahead. Eugenia,
looking satisfied, gets back on her bike and travels down the
road again.

AERIAL SWEEP OF THE ITALIAN COUNTRYSIDE.

FADE TO BLACK.

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