8 BIG WAYS TO

IMPROVE YOUR
WRITING

Alex Rafaniello connecteducation.com.au

WRITING FOR THE VCE
At its very fundamental level, writing is the art of composition – it is like drawing a
picture, or putting together a piece of music. Effectively, you are trying to convey
something to an audience; you are trying to help somebody else, who will read your
writing, to understand a particular perspective, concept, or series of arguments.

The conundrum is all too familiar. You have received your first SAC grade, and while
you’ve been given plenty of corrections and pointers, you’re unsure where to go next.
How do I improve the “flow” of my writing? What can I do today to prevent me from
overwriting tomorrow? I just cannot decide when to use “affect” or “effect”. In this
guide, we will tackle some of the more abstract writing issues that are very common
state-wide - from simple fixes such as using semicolons correctly, all the way to
improving the clarity of your writing.

May this guide aid and assist you in your progression as a writer throughout VCE.

Let’s start with some general tips for the year:

• Leave a powerful first impression – your piece will be relatively short in the
VCE, so the zing that a strong opening has in particular will be able to last
through a significant length of the reader’s reading time.

• Similarly, end with a bang – you want the marker to “remember” your piece
as an experience more fulfilling than all of the other essays which they have
had to read. A nifty ending is the easiest way to guarantee this.

• Favour simplicity and clarity – most markers (whether they are teachers or
examiners) have to read a vast amount essays, and often with quite pressing
time constraints as well; they don’t want to get bogged down in obtuse
metaphors and hard-to-follow sentences, they just want you to get to the
point.

• Don’t be afraid to be a bit creative as well – try to keep things simple and
clear whilst also using unusual/interesting words or phrases in the process,
as long as the latter does not detract from the former. Markers will be most
impressed by pieces which balance originality with comprehensibility.

• You will usually have limited space or time constraints – for this reason,
don’t use two words when you could use one. Again, there is perhaps some
justification for being excessive in real life writing, but in the VCE you should
never overburden your expression.

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FLOW
Improving the fluency of your writing can be difficult to improve mechanically. Instead, it
is important to expose yourself to the writing and speech of others.

Consider the following excerpt from author, columnist and editor Gary Provost’s book
“100 Ways to Improve Your Writing”:

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five word sentences
are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening.
The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The
ear demands some variety.

“Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing
sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I
use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is
rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that
burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the
drums, the crash of the symbols – sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”

The moral: Too many short sentences can sound choppy; however too many long
sentences can become cumbersome and lethargic to read. Try to vary up sentence
length and have a mix of both long and short sentences: this will often lead to more
fluent writing in general.

There are some basic strategies which everyone can employ to improve the fluency of
their work…

• Always reread your work – and consider reading it out loud for a change.
This is the best way in which you will be able to judge the fluency of your
work. If something sounds stilted, do your best to change it accordingly.

• Use conjunctions. You should have a very large mental database of

words/phrases such as “Moreover” and “With respect to this”, which you
should also be putting into practice fairly often. Conjunctions are the bread
and butter of producing flow, in that they form logical connections between
sentences, allowing the reader to better understand the direction your writing
is taking them.

• Also use conjunctions to join paragraphs. EVERYTHING in the essay

should be linked to some capacity, and the one way to achieve this is by
explicitly linking your paragraphs on from one another.

© Connect Education 3
UNDERWRITING
Here is a sample paragraph:

“The novel Harry Potter describes the power of love. It explores this through the
main characters. The main characters encounter love throughout the novel and
find great happiness from it. The main characters also use love to vanquish their
foes. The foes have no loved ones, and suffer for it.”

Read out loud, this paragraph is extremely stilted and, moreover, boring. It is
underwritten. A strong piece – in real life, and in the VCE – will tend to have a bit more
complexity to it than this.

Here are some tips to guarantee that your piece doesn’t seem underwritten and bland:

• Avoid repeating words, phrases, or sentence constructions where possible.

Part of the reason the paragraph above reads so in such a stilted fashion is
because it repeats “The” at the start of every sentence. Vary it up!

“… Not only does love bring great happiness to the lives of Harry, Ron and
Hermione, it also empowers them by strengthening their will to live. The main
characters also use love to vanquish their foes, who, in contrast, have no loved
ones and suffer for it.”

The above rewrite is far from perfect, but by removing “The” from the start of one
sentence, and conjoining the last two sentence, both the flow and content of this
paragraph have improved. Try rewriting it yourself!

• It can be helpful to form a word bank of synonyms for commonly used

words, to avoid the issue concerning repetition in underwriting.

• Once again, use conjunctions!

• Consider using semi-colons and colons to join sentences. We will see how
to use these soon!

• Find words that are interesting and/or unusual. Try using at least five words
which are not part of your usual vocabulary in every essay! With that said,
don’t use new words just for the sake of it – only use more difficult words if
they are absolutely appropriate.

This can include using verbs other than “said” when writing dialogue.
Consider verbs such as: “expressed”, “invoked”, “announced”, “whined”,
“informed”, “inquired”, “reasoned”, “asserted” etc.

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OVERWRITING
Here is another sample paragraph:

The narrative Harry Potter employs an extraordinary multitude of fascinating

and enchanting symbols in order to explicate the apotheosising and enlightening
properties of both romantic desire and platonic love. This is, first of all, captured
quite explicitly by the narrator’s characterisations of the primary protagonist
trio, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who encapsulate the wondrousness that love
brings in its ethereality to humanity, which basks in the face of such beauty.

Tempting as it may be to be impressed by the wide vocabulary, this is excessively

overwritten. The reader has to work much harder than they need to in order to
understand the meaning behind what is written; this is not desirable at all.

Here are some tips to avoid overwriting:

• Avoid having more than two compounds (e.g. “great and wonderful men
and women”) in the one sentence.

“... employs a multitude of symbols in order to explicate the apotheosising

properties of both romantic desire and platonic love.”

The above sentence already sounds less busy, heightening the clarity of the writing.

• When one word can replace two words, go with one word.

• If a simple word is a better description of something than a more complex

one, choose the smaller word 100% of the time. No exceptions.

“Throughout the article, the author strives to elucidate readers into agreeing
that modern technology is tearing society apart.”

The word elucidate means to “shed light on” or “clarify”, so it doesn’t quite work here. If
you are going to use a synonym, ensure you know the definition first! More appropriate
words here could include: “convince”, “encourage” or simply “persuade”.

• Try writing out your main arguments in dot point form first, then begin to
write out your points in sentences. A common cause of rambling is lack of
direction in your writing. Avoid that by understanding your points.

• Reread your writing out loud. If it sounds more ornamental than functional,
change it. Remember, it’s not a Shakespeare script!

© Connect Education 5
CLARITY
Clarity differs from overwriting in that being unclear can be the result of poorly ordered
sentences, vague or overcomplicated language, or contradicting your arguments.

Vague language

“Furthermore, the stunted nature of Fish’s mental growth renders family an

ineffective force in nurturing personal development.”

This sentence is lacking clarity, as it confuses the role of the character (Fish) and the
family in the story. The author would benefit from being direct and keeping it simple.

• To avoid vague language, ensure you have planned your writing beforehand.
This can be in dot points, as short sentences or even as a flow chart.

• If you are struggling to convey an idea, present it as a cause and effect. The
version below presents the idea as one event leading to another:

“Furthermore, Fish’s stunted mental capacity is shown to be a challenge for his

family, who in turn struggle to assist his personal development.”

Overcomplicating language
• For the VCE, your ideas are always more important than how impressively you
can convey them. Avoid just pulling words from a thesaurus – sometimes a
simpler word will describe your thoughts better

• Try using active verbs. Using verbs that are specific can provide an air of
authority to your writing. Consider the following sentence:

“This fable is a representation of The Russian Revolution.”

Now consider writing is as: “This fable represents The Russian Revolution…” The
second sentence is more concise and active – it will engage readers a little more, as
well as allowing more space to follow up on your argument.

Contradicting your arguments

• A common cause of this is overusing conjunctions, or using them incorrectly.
For example, consider the following sentences:

“The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. However, Great Britain

and the Thirteen Colonies had been waring for over a year.”
There is no need to use “However” in the second sentence – it is not directly
contradicting the first sentence. A conjunction that could be used here is: “moreover”.

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PUNCTUATION
If you are writing creatively, the punctuation for dialogue, direct speech or narration can
be quite difficult to master. Common punctuation features can be used to assist this.

Commas in direct speech

When the direct speech comes before the information about who is talking, the
comma will precede the first quotation mark.

The boy said, “I love Connect Education.”

When the direct speech comes after the information about who is talking, the comma
will be inserted inside the quotation marks.

“I would like to become a lawyer,” the young girl said.

When information about the speaker interrupts the direct speech, one comma marks
the end of the first part of the speech, another ends the information about the speaker.

“I love commas,” the student announced, “they improve the clarity of my

sentences.”

Inserting ‘aside’ comments in a sentence

Commas can be used to add supplementary information to sentences, all the while
setting them apart from the main idea within the sentence. This can be a nice way of
combining two sentences that would be quite stunted as stand-alone sentences.
Example:

The student, who had worked diligently and consistently all year, was
immensely satisfied with his final VCE results.

Semicolons
The semicolon links two independent main clauses that could stand as two separate
sentences. The primary purpose of the semicolon is to demonstrate that the two
clauses either relate to or contrast with one another.

Example:

Susie shook her head in disbelief; she could not comprehend how this could
happen.
In the above example, the relationships between the main clauses are strengthened by
the presence of the semicolon.

© Connect Education 7
GRAMMAR
Affect and effect
RAVEN – Remember, Affect Verb, Effect Noun
“Affect” is a verb and means “to make a difference to”. “Effect” is a noun, and means “a
change which is a result or consequence of an action or other cause”.

The time a student spends studying affects their VCE results.

Sleep deprivation can have a severe effect on a student’s concentration abilities.

Fewer and less

“Fewer” is used when describing something that can be counted. “Less” is used
when the nouns cannot be counted individually.

Examples:

Josh ate fewer cookies than Anna.

I had less trust in him after he betrayed me.

There are a couple of exceptions to this general rule. Typically, the word “less” is also
used to describe time, money and distance – although hours, dollars and kilometres
can all be counted.
Example:

Connect Education’s Writing Workshop is held at Monash Parkville, which is

less than fifteen minutes away from the CBD by tram.

Who and whom

Use “who” when referring to the subject of the sentence, and “whom” when referring
to the object of the sentence.

“Who admires Lex?” – The student

“Whom does the student admire?” – Lex

NOTE A golden tip: if you would answer the question with “him”, use “whom”. If
you would answer it with “he”, use “who”.

Whom should I call this afternoon? I should call him this afternoon.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? He stole the cookies from the cookie
jar.

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PASSIVE VOICE
The active voice
When the verb of a sentence is in the active voice, the subject is doing the acting.

Using an active voice adds impact to your writing, hence why it is commonly used.
Sentences written in an active voice generally flow better and are easier to understand.
It is usually the subject of the sentence which is performing the action.

Examples are “I really love Connect Education” and “Vincent makes lots of jokes”.

The passive voice

A verb is in the passive voice when the subject of the sentence is acted on by the verb.

For example, in “the ball was thrown by the fielder”. Using the active voice the
sentence would be: “The fielder threw the ball”.
It is usually preferable to use the active voice rather than the passive voice wherever
possible, because it gives a sense of immediacy to the sentence.
Passive voice can make a sentence awkward and vague; passive sentences have more
words than active ones, which is one reason the reader has to work harder to get at
the meaning. Consider using more active sentences in your writing. For example:

“The exam papers were countered by the assessors” (passive voice) can be
changed to “the assessors counted the exam papers” (active voice).

An active voice adds influence to your writing; however, you may wish to use the
passive voice to reduce the power of your sentence.

Times when the passive voice is used instead of the active voice:

• Companies may use the passive voice to lessen their impact such as “your
employment will be terminated” which is passive, rather than “we are going to
fire you!” which is active.
• In crime or news reports, a newsreader would say “the 7/11 was robbed”
because he or she does not yet know who robbed the bank.
• If you were writing a creative piece, in which say something was stolen or
there was a mystery around the identity of a criminal, you might place
emphasis on details such as “the money was taken” rather than focusing on
the unknown person who took them.
• Sometimes the passive voice is used to take the author’s opinions and
thoughts out of the conclusion and thereby maintain an objective tone, like
“the data suggests that chocolate is good for you”.

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ANSWERING THE QUESTION
No matter the question, it is important that you interrogate the question and nothing
else. Using the following three-step method will, hopefully, help you get a grasp on
what the question’s actually asking and respond according.

1. Read
Read the question for the first time during reading time; this gives you a
gist of what the question is about. During this read, think about what
area of study and key knowledge is being asked about.

2. Reread
Read the question again very carefully. Underline key words such as
discuss, contrast and compare.
Also, take note of the number of marks. This will indicate:
a) the number of minutes you should dedicate to the question
b) the amount of information required in your answer.
3. Read again
Once you’ve finished composing your answer, reread the question to
ensure that you’ve covered all its dimensions in your answer.
You may have finished your answer, reread the question and realise that
it demands that “data from the graph” be called upon in your answer. By
simply rereading the question, you’ve saved yourself an extra few marks!

An example – VCAA 2012 Physical Education Exam

Below is a sample question with the key words highlighted.

Why are the side effects of anabolic steroid use more pronounced in female
athletes? (2 marks)

Example answer
Steroids are synthetics drugs that mimic the action of the naturally-occurring hormone
testosterone, which is found in greater amounts in males than in females.
Consequently, the side-effects of anabolic steroids (such as a deeper voice, increased
aggression and increased bodily and facial hair) are more pronounced in females than
males.

This response answers the question with clarity and brevity. Use of the conjunction
“Consequently” clearly indicates to the examiner that information above is vital
background information, and anything after the conjunction is the actual answer.
Note the use of the active voice, the use of simple language, and the use of
parentheses, which allows information to be condensed efficiently.

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Key words to use in your responses

Below is just a short list of words that you can use to orientate the examiners and
structure your responses.

Contrast Comparison and Enumeration, Summary or

expanding on a clarification and conclusion
point providing examples

Although Similarly As an illustration Ultimately

Yet So too does In this case Definitely
However In the same way That is to say Obviously
But In a similar fashion Certainly Overall
Nevertheless In the same vein Specifically After all
Instead Both Significantly In summary
On the contrary Likewise Particularly In fact
Unlike Identically Especially By and large
Unless Additionally Firstly, secondly, thirdly On the whole
On the other hand Furthermore Next All things
considered
Even though Moreover Then Generally speaking
Adversely Another example of this Eventually So
is
That said As well as
Notwithstanding Together with
Neither… nor Equally important
And
Either… or
Consequently

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