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Roberto Failey Jr

Professor Strehle

English 1201

19 July 2020

What does it mean to be a father?

Does it mean a male figure who is blood-related or a male figure that voluntarily puts themselves into

that father role? Does it mean a father is supposed to spend a lot of time with his kids? Or does it mean

a person that has a baby with a woman and leaves? These questions are very controversial to some but

very simple to most. But being a father doesn’t always mean your blood related. Putting yourself into

that fathering role and setting aside time to bond with your children, being physically and emotionally

there for your children, setting aside time to reflect on the decision you have made, and will make for

your kids is part of being a father.

The definition of a father by (Cambridge dictionary) is “a male parent, to become the father of a child

by making a woman pregnant, and or a Christian name for God”. I express this to say that being a father

comes in all types of forms from biblically, blood relation, or just male figures that steps into that role.

Any man can be a father, but what does it truly mean to be a father, someone, that a child can depend

on or not necessarily be able to?

During my twenty-one years of being on this earth, I have had the luxury of having a father who was

and still is active in my life. The way it shaped me as a man, husband, and most importantly a father has

shown itself throughout the years especially during the difficult times in my life. But as an infant,

everything could've changed if it wasn't for my father refraining from committing suicide at an early age
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after losing his best friend at the age of nineteen. I express this to say that my childhood could have

been completely the opposite of what it has been. I never would have been the man I am today if it

weren't for my father.

All the men I have encountered mainly through sports in one way or another have been around me

to gain my trust, but very few them that I can say have the father figure role in my life to this day. When

I moved from my hometown in Hinesville, Ga when I was in the fifth grade going into the sixth grade to

Atlanta, Ga with my mom it was a difficult move. But by starting in sports and having these men not just

as coaches, but men I could depend on as fathers. It eventually gave me a deeper understanding of what

it meant to be a father. Since they had no ounce of blood that was related to mine in any way shape or

form. It shaped the way I presented myself as a man.

During that duration of time, I found that “Time” was one of the most beneficial things to develop the

relationship from all the male figures I encountered. To add to this, an article written by (Amy Webb)

from a perspective research backs this argument by saying “The time fathers invest in those early years

establishing a strong bond with their children continues to benefit them into adolescence”. This type of

involvement grows into trust and lessons that are learned over time. The importance of that

involvement speaks to the millions even billions of kids around the world. While also growing these now

adults into who they are today. A father's involvement is crucial in development stages from babies to

adolescents. The research study by (Father Involvement and Its Relation to Psychological Well-Being in

Late Adolescence) has shown that “Adolescents show positive social behavior in solving the problem

when they often have interaction with their fathers”. This goes to show the deep impact a father has on

a child's psychological part as well as their physical attributes as they grow older.

But what if that father is not around, because of certain circumstances? In addition to the recent (Amy

Webb article), she also states “Forming a secure attachment isn't merely about the number of time
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caregivers spend with infants either. Even partners who cannot spend long periods with their infants can

potentially still establish a secure attachment. One study found that the responsiveness of caregiving

mattered more than the sheer amount of time spent together”. This only reaffirms the sense that being

there for your kids emotionally, physically, and psychologically is a matter of being a father.

Lastly, the effects of fathers not being around at all or around without making secure attachments has

a life-altering effect on kids that turn into adults. From their life structure in emotional stability to

making life decisions that will benefit them than hurt their own lives in the long run. An infographic from

(U.S Census Bureau) stated numerous researched facts like for example “out of 19.7 million children 1 in

4 live without a father. Consequently, children are 7 times more likely to be pregnant as teens, 2 times

more likely to drop out of high school and are at 4 times greater risk of poverty. This all shows the

significance of a father's role is in his child's life.

In conclusion, I found that being a father isn’t just any one thing. You can't be just a father and not one

the next day. Being a father means no matter what you're going to be there for your kids through the

bad and even worse times. When you have little patience and you have no idea what you are doing or

what you're going to do when you become a father. An article by (Kid Health) stated after answering am

I going to be a good dad said, “Remember that you're not going to have to tackle every part of

fatherhood at once. For the first few years, a lot of the parenting involves skills taught in childbirth

classes and mastered through practice. This speaks volumes to the testimony of many men out there

today who attribute to this saying.

The meaning of a father also shows the compassion, time, patience, and many other characteristics to

take to be a true father that your kids will look up to one day. Try and think back of a time when you

were disappointed in your father or even proud that he was your father. How did that make you feel? A

lot of what we do as fathers always bring out reactions from our actions whether that’s good or bad. It is
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never easy being a father, but when you become one your life changes on the way we fathers look at it.

All in all, it's up to the men who will eventually be fathers one day will have to ask themselves. What

does it mean to be a father?

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Work Cited

“Becoming a Father (for Parents) - Nemours KidsHealth.” Edited by KidsHealth Medical Experts,
KidsHealth, The Nemours Foundation, Aug. 2014, kidshealth.org/en/parents/father.html.

“FATHER: Meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.” Cambridge Dictionary,

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/father.

National Fatherhood Initiative®, A 501c3 Non-Profit. "Father Absence Statisti cs." N.p., 2020. Web. 27
July 2020.

“Father Involvement and Its Relation to Psychological Well-Being in Late Adolescence.” Shibboleth
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sinclair.ohionet.org:80/login?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebscohost.com%2Flogin.aspx%3Fdirect.

Webb, Amy. “The Scientific Benefits of a Father's Presence in Their Kid's Lives.” Motherly, Motherly, 1
June 2020,