1hc F-L ßcadcr 16-pagc Hini-Book \crsion

lí you decíde lo quíl your íírsl week íh oíííce, gc tc page 16.
lí you decíde lo díc íh ahd ruíe lhe halíoh, gc tc page Z.
¥ou are Sarah Palln, the former governor of Alaska. Pour
years ago, you ran alongslde Arlzona Senator 1ohn McCaln for
the whlte House and you falled. 8ut now, ln 20l2, thlngs have
turned around. ¥ou have ìust won the presldentlal electlon and
wlth vlce Presldent Chuck Norrls you now have the ablllty to
change the course of Amerlcan hlstory. 8ut also, you know lt
won't be easy.
Z
lí you decíde lo co lo your desk ahd work, gc tc page 5.
lí you decíde lo co lo lhe wíhdow, gc tc page 3.
Now lhal you've decíded lo co ahead ahd be
presídehl, you have a íísl a mííe íohc oí lhíhcs lhal you
heed lo chahce. You've col lo reduce lhe íederaí
coverhmehl, díc íor oíí everywhere, ahd slop lhe
homosexuaís írom marryíhc. Whííe you're íookíhc al
your ¨lo do¨ íísl írom lhe Ovaí Oíííce, you hear
proleslers chahlíhc oulsíde.
3
To chahce lhe dríhkíhc ace lo 14, turn tc page 4.
To creale a Cahadíah border waíí, turn tc page 5.
You pul dowh lhe papers you're síchíhc lo chahce lhe
dríhkíhc ace lo 14, lhrow your haír íhlo a slyíísh bouííahl
lwísl, ahd co lo lhe wíhdow. ll's lhose pesky Mexícahs
acaíh.
8o, íl seems lhal how lhe íírsl lhíhc oh your íísl lo
lackíe ís lhís ímmícralíoh probíem. As íar as you cah leíí,
lhese border·crossers are lakíhc íobs írom decehl
hardworkíhc Amerícahs. Ríchl lheh, 8ecrelary oí 8lale, Bííí
O'Reíííy, ahd 8ecrelary oí lhe lce, Oíympíah 8arah Huches,
remíhd you lhal íl's hol íusl lhe Mexícahs who are lhe
probíem, lhe Cahadíahs have beeh crossíhc lhe border
íreeíy íor years. íreeíy íor years.
¨ll's hol íusl our soulherh border, bul our horlherh
border, loo,¨ Bííí saíd. ¨We cah'l lrusl olher couhlríes lo
prolecl us.¨
¨Why slop al a Cahadíah border waíí!¨ 8arah asked.
¨We shouíd have ah easlerh ahd a weslerh border waíí loo.¨
¨Weíí 8arah, you're lhe presídehll¨ Bííí saíd. ¨You cah
do whal you wahl.¨
4
lí you choose lo spehd lhe resl oí your lerm vacalíohíhc íh Mexíco, turn tc page 11.
lí you choose lo relurh lo lhe Whíle House, turn tc page 5.
You leíí lhem lhal you'íí lhíhk aboul lhe Cahadíah
border waíí, bul ríchl how your íírsl príoríly ís lo sích lhís
íaw lo chahce lhe dríhkíhc ace lo 14. ll'íí reaííy boosl
your approvaí ralíhcs írom lhe youlh democraphícl
Bul lhose proleslers oulsíde are slííí yammeríhc
up a slorm, so lo shul lhem up, you decíde lo ahhex
Mexíco ahd lurh íl íhlo a síave slale. Tea Farly members
are each cíveh mayorshíps íh Mexícah víííaces, íhcíudíhc
Todd Faííh who wííí how be lhe mayor oí Cahcuh. You
aíso lurh a lhousahd square mííes íh lhe cehler oí lhe
Mexícah slale íhlo a wííd came preserve, where
ehdahcered ehdahcered ahímaís írom aíí over lhe woríd are ííowh íh
lo be huhled.
Ahd as you waík lhrouch lhe lropícaí slreels oí
síave slale Mexíco, íookíhc al lhe síaves workíhc hard íh
lhe ííeíds whííe lhe red·bíooded Amerícahs cuzzíe
marcarílas happííy íh lhe shade, you íeeí salísííed wílh
lhe work you've dohe here.
5
lí you decíde lo cahceí pubííc schooí íor a year lo lrahsporl lhe íoreíalhers lo
lhe present. gc tc page 6.
lí you decíde lo keep lhe schooís íh sessíoh, gc tc page 7.
You are back al your desk researchíhc how much
a waíí oh lhe Cahadíah border wouíd cosl. You say lo
yourseíí, ¨lhís couhlry heeds lo be back where íl was
wheh our íoreíalhers were aííve. lsoíaled. Whíle.
Amerícah. lí ohíy lhe íoreíalhers couíd be here how.
Bul how!¨
Ríchl lheh, you remember lhal you mel a scíehlísl
back oh lhe campaích lraíí who was researchíhc líme
lraveí, Dr. Haíííax. You caíí íor your Mexícah lo bríhc
you lhe phohe ahd you ríhc lhís doclor oí líme lraveí
ahd ask hím lo lrahsporl Ceorce Washíhcloh, Beh
Frahkííh, Johh Adams, ahd Thomas Jeííersoh lo lhe
year 2012. Dr. Haíííax leíís you lhal he cah do íl, bul
lhal lhal íl wííí cosl lhe exacl same amouhl as lhe yearíy
budcel íor Ameríca's schooís.
Cahceíííhc schooís íor a year seems ííke a prelly
cood ídea. Bul doíhc lhal couíd íead more kíds lo íoíh
cahcs or become híp hop arlísls. Decísíohs, decísíohsl
6
Turn tc page 1Z.
You have lhe mohey how. You co slraíchl lo Dr.
Haíííax. Wílhíh míhules Ceorce Washíhcloh, Beh
Frahkííh, Johh Adams, ahd Thomas Jeííersoh are aíí
síllíhc besíde you. You leíí hím aíí aboul Ameríca loday
ahd how so mahy peopíe are lryíhc lo lake away lhe
íreedoms he worked so hard lo secure íor lhe peopíe oí
lhe couhlry.
¨l am so happy you are presídehl,¨ Ceorce
Washíhcloh saíd. ¨You are lhe ohíy ohe who cah save
lhe lrue spíríl oí Ameríca.¨
¨ll ís líme íor us lo co back lo lhe pasl how,¨ Johh
Adams saíd. ¨Fresídehl Faííh, íl ís aíí íh your hahds.¨
7
lí you decíde lo burh dowh 8ah Frahcísco íor lhe íhsurahce mohey, co tc page 8.
lí you decíde lo co lo war wílh Russía, co tc page 9.
You dídh'l cíose dowh lhe schooís bul you khow
you have lo do somelhíhc lo cel some mohey. Více
Fresídehl Norrís succesls burhíhc dowh 8ah Frahcísco
íor lhe íhsurahce mohey. You hever ííked 8ah Frahcísco
ahyway, so lhal seems ííke a cood ídea. Více Fresídehl
Norrís saíd he wouíd be happy lo do íl.
Bul aíso, you've beeh dyíhc lo co lo war wílh
Russía íor years how. You're síck oí lhem íh your
backyard poíhlíhc lheír hukes al you. You're prelly sure
lhal íí you cohquer Russía, you'íí have ehouch mohey
lo bríhc lhe íoreíalhers up lo lhe presehl day.
8
lí you decíde lo spehd lhe híchl wrílíhc aholher book, co tc page 6.
lí you decíde lhal wrílíhc a book ís loo much work, co tc page 15.
8ah Frahcísco ís íh ííames, bul íor some reasoh
lhe halíoh reacls hecalíveíy. You heed lhese líme
lraveííhc íoreíalhers more lhah ever. You have ah ídea,
lhouch. You couíd spehd lhe híchl wrílíhc a book lo
raíse lhe mohey heeded lo bríhc lhem lo lhe presehl.
9
To sích ah order lo lurh Aíaska's halíohaí íoresls íhlo lhe Nalíohaí Oíí Freserves,
co tc page 10.
To íísleh lo Cary ahd becíh draílíhc lhírleeh·year·oíds, co tc page 13.
¥ou are now at war wlth Pussla and you thought the
Pusslans wouldn't stand a chance because after successfully
endlng the wars wlth |raq and Afghanlstan by havlng both
countrles nuked, all resources were dlrected towards thls war,
a.k.a. The war Por Patrlotlc Amerlcanness.
8ut lt turns out those Pusslans are puttlng up more of a
ñght than you thought they would. |t's tlme to make a hard
declslon. Maybe there's an easler way to make money. Maybe
you should back out of thls war and ìust do more drllllng for oll
on Amerlcan soll - turn Alaska lnto the Natlonal Oll Preserves.
¥our most trusted advlsor Gary doesn't llke thls though.
He's worrled you'll look weak lf you back out of thls war. He says
lf you want to wln the war you should requlre all Amerlcan
cltlzens over the age of fourteen to ìoln the mllltary. |f they're
old enough to drlnk, they're old enough to ñght. And any
Amerlcan refuslng to hold a weapon should be shot on the
spot and thelr bodles are hung ln town squares palnted wlth
the word "traltor". the word "traltor".
10
lí you lhíhk you deserve a break, co tc page 11.
lí you're ready íor more chaííehces, co tc page 1Z.
You sích ah order lo lurh Aíaska's halíohaí íoresls
íhlo lhe Nalíohaí Oíí Freserves. Ahd íusl íor íuh, lhe
mííííohs oí hew oíí weíís have beeh píaced íh a
íormalíoh so lhal lhey speíí oul ¨Cod Bíess lhe U8A¨ íh
cursíve. Whal cah you say, you íove lhís couhlry.
Maybe you deserve a vacalíoh lo resl up írom aíí
lhe hard work you've beeh doíhc. Theh acaíh, maybe
you shouíd píuhce ahead ííxíhc lhe halíoh.
11
lí you decíde lo slay íh Mexíco, co tc page 16.
lí you decíde lo co back lo lhe Whíle House co tc page 1Z.
You're oh lhe beach íh lhe síave slale oí Mexíco,
reíaxíhc uhder a suh umbreíía. Jusl lheh your phohe
ríhcs. ll's Více Fresídehl Norrís.
¨Cohcress was mad lhal you decíared a
permahehl slale oí presídehlíaí emercehcy ahd lhey aíí
quíl,¨ Chuck saíd. ¨Wheh everyohe eíse heard aboul íl
lhe whoíe couhlry slarled ríolíhc.¨
¨Bul l íusl col herel¨ you saíd.
You have a decísíoh lo make. You couíd íusl slay
oh permahehl vacalíoh here íh Mexíco, or you couíd co
back lo work ííke Chuck wahls you lo.
1Z
lí you decíde lo íísleh lo Ruperl, co tc page 14.
lí you decíde lo íísleh lo Cary, co tc page 13.
You wahl lo do more. Eveh wílh lhe decímalíoh oí
lraq ahd Aíchahíslah, lhere are slííí píehly oí lerrorísls
oul lhere waílíhc lo lake us dowh. Your hexl slep ís lo
beeí up securíly al Ameríca's aírporls eveh more. The
T8A's body scahhers íusl areh'l ehouch, bul you're hol
sure whal lo do. Luckííy you have a creal croup oí
advísers.
¨l've col ah ídea,¨ 8ecrelary oí Homeíahd 8ecuríly
Ruperl Murdoch says, ¨Aíí passehcers shouíd be
lhrowh íhlo a pooí beíore boardíhc lhe aírpíahe, síhce
everyohe khows lhal lerrorísls wííí síhk, because lhey
have ho souís lo make lhem buoyahl.¨
¨l've col ah ídea loo,¨ Ehercy 8ecrelary Cary saíd.
¨We shouíd have aírporl securíly add shípers lo lhe
screehíhc process so lhey cah íusl eíímíhale ahy
suspícíous passehcers ahd aíso make lhose íohc ííhes
move a ííllíe more quíckíy.¨
13
Turn tc page 15.
You ííslehed lo your mechahíc Cary ahd 20,000
peopíe are shol ahd kíííed íh íusl ohe week. Lols oí
peopíe are mad. Bul your supporlers slahd by you. lh
íacl, lhe way some peopíe are compíaíhíhc aboul you
ohíy makes lhem ííke you more.
14
Turn tc page 15.
You ííslehed lo Ruperl Murdoch ahd íííleeh
peopíe drowh íh lhe íírsl week oí lhe hew aírííhe
screehíhc procedures. Lols oí peopíe are mad. Bul your
supporlers slahd by you. lh íacl, lhe way some peopíe
are compíaíhíhc aboul you ohíy makes lhem ííke you
more.
15
lí you decíde lo quíl beíhc presídehl ahd slarl your speakíhc lour, gc tc
page 16.
lí you decíde lo slarl over ahd lackíe lhe halíoh's probíems acaíh, gc tc
page Z.
¥ou reallze that belng presldent ls a lot of work. Maybe lt
lsn't worth lt. ¥ou could start your post-presldency speaklng
tour rlght now and make upwards of $200,000 for every slngle
appearance. That's not even countlng the money you could get
from pald televlslon appearances.

¥our name wlll be ln every slngle hlstory book untll the
end of tlme. Good ìob, Sarah Palln. ¥ou were presldent!
5)&&/%

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