Key points

 Don’t try to tell entire story

 Don’t hype your story
 Don’t give away the ending
 Don’t use special words/expressions used by a profession /group that are difficult for
others to understand.
 Don’t name all your characters
Identify your characters by function (boy, hero) , father , billionaire .
 Don’t lead with a log line
A log line is a single sentence that conveys the basic plot of your story in the most powerful
way .
The problem is that you haven’t drawn yet drawn him into your story; you haven’t given him
time to leave his world and enter yours before hitting him with your pitch.
 Don’t lead with a question

Sometimes writers think it’s cute /clever to engage buyers by asking personal questions related
to their plots.

Example: “I don’t know if this happened to you, but one day I started wondering “

 Don’t lead with your title

Mentioning the title at the end of the pitch is fine, since the listener now can understand its
Connection to the story.
If your title isn’t catchy, if it doesn’t even create an immediate image, it’s just going to
confuse the listener.