Lungs

A Paines Plough and Sheffield Theatres production of Lungs by This play is written to be performed on a bare stage. There is no
Duncan Macmillan was first performed on Wednesday 19 October scenery, no furniture, no props and no mime. There are no costume
2011 at the Crucible Studio Theatre, Sheffield as part of The changes. Light and sound should not be used to indicate a change in
Roundabout Season with the following cast: time or place.

w Kate O'Flynn A forward slash mark ( / ) marks the point of interruption in over­
lapping dialogue.
M Alistair Cope

A comma on a separate line (, ) indicates a pause, a rest or a silence,

Creative Team
the length of which should be determined by the context.
Direction Richard Wilson
The absence of a full stop at the end of a line indicates a point of
Design Lucy Osborne
interruption, a trailing off or an interruption of thought.
Lighting Emma Chapman

Sound Adrienne Quartly There is no interval.

Movement Kate Sagovsky

Assistant Direction Marieke Audsley

Costume Supervisor Sally Wilson

Production Manager Bernd Fauler

Stage Manager Sarah Caselton-Smith

Assistant Stage Manager Louise Martin

Auditorium Builder Factory Settings

Costumes by Sheffield Theatres wardrobe departments

 Lungs

Lights up. try to convince me to

pressure? Put the pressure on,

w A baby? w
l'm not a a a a
M Breathe.
we're having a conversation.
w A baby? That's all that's happening. All
M
M I was just thinking. that's happening is we're having

w About the future. a conversation.

We'd have to change how we w You're having a conversation.

M
live. M We're having a conversation.

w The planet, use less w A conversation you're starting.

M no, that's, wel I yes but that's not A conversation I'm, yes, that I'm
M
w okay. trying to start.

A conversation that you're

M I'm freaking you out. w
deciding to start now.
w Not/ freaking me out.
M Yes.
Completely. You thought you'd
M
be the one. w In Ikea.

w No.
M I hadn't planned to.

The one to say it, yes. To say yes, w No. Okay. Yes. Okay.

M yes okay, I'm ready, yes, let's do M Do you want some water/ or
it, yes. w that kid with the panda is staring.
w That's M You're hyperventilating.
M to put the pressure on, yes, / to w Don't exaggerate.
 Lungs

M If it's too much I'm talking to you now. I'm

w it's not/ too much. telling you now. We're talking,

M we're talking now, we're having a
If it's too much we can put it
conversation. When should I
back in the box, just put a lid on
have
M it and lock it away and then later
we're not. We're not. This isn't a
when you're feeling less freaked w
out/ we can conversation.

w I'm not freaked out. M Okay.

M Alright fine okay. w It just isn't.

I'm not freaked out I'm just M Okay.

w surprised. I'm surprised I'm I don't know what it is but I

fucking shocked actually. I'm w know for fucking certain it's not

M freaked out. a

w I'm not. M right okay okay.

Can we at least get out of the

M You are. w
queue? Everybody's
I'm completely freaked out yes
because why don't you ever, how of course, I'm sorry, I didn't
M
can you, why didn't you, why mean to just

would you not talk to me about

w
this/ I wish you'd let me IN I
wish you'd let me IN to your
yes. I need a minute. Can we put
head. Into your fucking w
it back in the box?
impenetrable fucking
M There's no rush.
 Lungs

w Just to M I know I just worried.

M there's no hurry. w No need.

w Catch my breath. M Good.

M It's a conversation.

Bit of a walk or something. Ten

w minutes. w
Did we get any of the stuff we
came here for?
Meet you back at the car.
M I went back but they'd
M Okay.

w What's wrong?
w shit.

M Yeah.
M You said ten minutes.

w I needed to think.

M It's pitch dark. You stink of fags.

w It's snowing. Is it snowing? w A baby?

M You've not got a coat.

w This weather is insane.

Coldest winter ever they've just M I was just thinking.

M said. Hottest summer, coldest

winter.

w And you left the engine running.

Can we just
M I was listening to the radio.
w
we will talk about it but

w I'm okay. M I know.

 Lungs

w not right now. I'm too expect me to just be fine and

M yeah, me too. rational and clear-headed/ and

not
w Can I drive?
when would be the right time to
M Course. M
/ mention
You can play your tape. Let me
w I don't know I don't have the
hear your new songs.
w answers I just know that that
M They're not finished. wasn't it.
Okay, well,
let's just sit and not say anything
w then okay? just be silent, just not
have to deal with this right away I'm sorry.

because M I'm sorry too.

M good.

w I don't have the

it's okay. Whenever you want to You're right.

M
talk about it we/ can
w
It is. It is

no okay of course good but not M yes.

now I don't have anything to say
w Something we should
about it right now because it's
w such a shock, it's such an
M we should.

enormous, you can't just say We should be, yes, be talking

w
something like that to someone about. We should. Yes.
you can't just say that to me and M Good.
 Lungs

w Because, fuck, we're not getting people were staring and I was

M I know. pushing a trolley and holding a

lamp and I couldn't breathe.
w Any younger.
M You got the gist.
M No.
w I think so.

Or you wouldn't have got as

M
freaked out as you did.
So are we talking about it or
w Touche.
w no.

Touche.
Yes.

So.
Go on.
Where do we go from here?
M With what?
Well, we should try to leave the
M
With, you were saying, with, you car park.
w know, what? What were you
Sarcasm? Right now? You think
saying? w
that's going to
M I've said it all.
M I'd like to hear your opinion.
Then say it again because I
w w Yes.
couldn't hear you before because
 Lungs

M Of course. M I'm not asking a question.

w Of course yes. w Aren't you?

M It's a two-way M No.

w I know. w You're starting a conversation.

M It's a two-way thing and so M I'm trying to.

w but Well it's started and now it's

w
M go on. happening and I'm saying yes.

Alright, M Right.
w
it's this it's Look, alright, listen, you have to

I have no idea. I don't understand alright, I'm thinking

opinion? I don't have out loud here so please just let

it's like you've punched me in me talk just let me think it

the face then asked me a maths through out loud please alright

question/ while I'm still on the don't just jump in if I say

something wrong or stupid just
M like I punched you in the face? w
let me think okay because I've
w You know what I mean. always wanted alright and I'm
M No. talking in the abstract I've always
wanted I've always had a sense
Okay. Yes. Let's do it. Let's do it.
or an idea of myself always
w Yes. Let's do it.
defined myself okay as a person
Yes.
who would,
M I'm not
that my purpose in life that my
w I'm saying yes.
function on this planet would be
 Lungs
to and not that I ever thought
about it like that it's only now
because you're asking or not
asking but mentioning, starting
the conversation only because of
that that I'm now even thinking
about it but it's always sort of
been a given for me an
assumption ever since I was a
little girl playing with dolls I
mean long long long before I
met you, it's never been what I
guess it should be which is a a a
a a a an extension of an
expression of you know, fucking
love or whatever, a coming
together of two people it's
always been this alright and this
sounds stupid and na"ive but it's
always been an image,
I guess, of myself with a bump
and glowing in that motherly or
pushing a pram or a cot with a
mobile above it or singing to it
reading Beatrix Potter or Dr
Seus, I don't care, never cared
about it being a boy or girl just
small and soft and adorable and
with that milky head smell and
the tiny socks and giggles and
yes vomit even it's all part of it,
looking after it, caring for it
that's I think that's the impulse
and there's always been a father
in the picture but sort of a blurry
background generic man, I'm
sorry, it's just this picture of my
life I've always had since I was
able to think and I've never ever
questioned it . Never.
And I've pushed it all down and
focussed on my career, on my
studies, on myself and now it's
becoming, potentially becoming
a bit real I'm going to have to
think about it for a second
please just a a a a a a or much
longer in fact because well
because I'm not an idiot, I'm a
thoughtful, very thoughtful
person and I want to do
everything for the right reason or
 Lungs
at least a good reason and I
believe in questioning and never
just blindly accepting or and it's
going to take a lot of effort to
unravel or to to to to to to
excavate not excavate but
excavate all of those
previously held beliefs and
assumptions because it's
important probably the most
important thing you could do to
bring another person a yes a
person an actually living
breathing thinking because they
won't stay small forever and I
think don't they I think a lot of
people think about them being
small, just tiny and sweet and
unconditional with their eyes and
giggles and tiny little fingers
gripping your thumb and I do I
did I think I thought like that
because it's too hard like we're
not quite designed to be able to
fully comprehend the the the the
M enormity
or whatever which is a maybe it's
a survival mechanism perhaps
an inbuilt thing because, fuck, if
you thought about it if you really
w properly thought about it before
actually doing it then you'd never
ever actually fucking do it
because it's too fucking too
fucking
M enormous
it is it is it is it's fucking
enormous, fucking enormous
fucking the purpose of life itself,
the purpose, the meaning, the
meaninglessness, the love and
the horror and the hope and the
w fear and everything the volume
of all of it turned right up, the
rest of your life the rest of
someone else's life committing
someone to something forever,
ancestry, the seven and a half
thousand
generations of human history
 Lungs

and I don't even know much w We're having a conversation.

about my own grandparents, let
alone my great grandparents or
or or or and it's their genes, thei
genetic stuff, really, them, these
M Yes.
w That's all that's happening.
Look, let's get home and drink

dead people moving around M some gin and see if we want to

making choices for this little, talk about it.

this tiny, but that's not the whole w And the planet.
thing,
M I don't want ice. Take my ice.
M breathe.
The planet. Because you worry
This is what I'm saying this is w about the same things I do, you
what I'm saying because they care about the same
don't stay small, they grow up
M right, yes.
and become people, they
And they say don't they that if
become grown-ups like everyone
w you really care about the planet,
else, they become their own
grown-up people and they think
w if you really care about the future
of mankind then don't have
their own thoughts and they buy
children.
their own clothes and they leave
home and they hate you. M Do they?

Alright, because I'm thinking out I mean, they actually say if you

loud. w really care about the planet then

kill yourself but I'm
I'm thinking and talking.
I mean, I'm not going to do that.
M I didn't say anything.
So,
 Lungs

because there's, what, there's Hannah

seven billion people or so, M Edwin?
there's too many people and
What if she or he was the person
there's not enough of everything
to work it all out and save
so really the right thing to do, the
ethical thing to do is to not
w everything, everyone, the world,
polar bears, Bangladesh,
contribute to that, particularly
everything, we don't know so
people like us.
M no, but
M People like
or we could plant a forest. We
car driving, plastic bag using,
could work out the carbon
w aerosol spraying, avocado
footprint of the expanding
importing, Western,
nappies in the landfill and the
M but we're good people.
w Baby Gap hoodies flown in from
Exactly. We are we are we are the Congo or wherever and we
w
good people yes we are. Good. could plant trees, entire forests,

Are we? make something pure and and

and oxygenating, so
M You can't think about that stuff.
M how do you factor that in?
No I know. It's not our
responsibility. w Exactly.

And anyway, so much about it is The world is going to need good

M
w unknown. people in it.
And what if this kid, this With everything that's
hypothetical what if she, or he, happening.
this imaginary little Edwin or We can't just leave it to the
 Lungs
people who don't think, the
people who just have child after
child without ever properly
examining their their their their
capacity for love.
I mean, that's what's wrong with
everything isn't it?
Yes. I know. Exactly.
Hang on what?
w
Are you saying some people are
too stupid to have children?
No. No of course not. But
yes.
Some people, lots of people,
M aren't thinking it through, not
fully, and maybe the smartest,
most caring, most informed
people aren't having children.
w Right.
So it's their genes that aren't
surviving. So things are getting
M Meanwhile the people who read
less caring and less informed
and more savage.
So, to save the planet it'll be,
w
what, eugenics or
M no, no.
w Sterilise? Exterminate?
M Not what I'm saying.
w Camps? Enforced
no. Of course not I'm not
M
I don't have the answers.
Yes, some people are saying that
maybe that will happen but we'll
be long dead by the time that's
I mean, you know more about
this stuff than I do.
You're the one doing the PhD.
But, yes, if we're being honest,
really, teen mothers in tracksuits
with fags in their mouths,
smacking their kids in
supermarkets, being a gran by
thirty, multiplying like rats,
w rats?
books, the people who think and
M try to help and I know I'm being
a bit fascist here, I'm just playing
Devil's advocate here of course I
 Lungs

am but there are some you were saying.

thoughtful people who are
waiting for the perfect
circumstances and it'll never
happen there's no such thing as
perfect so the
world is overcrowded and people
think well I don't want to bring
my child into this world full of
crack dealers and pimps and
homeless, and I know this
I think I'm going to be sick. No
w
I'm not. I am actually I think yes.
M Do you want me to
I know that's what I feel, what I
think sometimes, but when you
w say it out loud it sounds like the
worst, cruellest, sickest, most
hateful
M what do you want me to do?

sounds reactionary but let's not just a cuddle and shut up for a
be politically, you know, correct w bit I think would be good
about this for a second, there are actually.
some people who just shouldn't
M Is that okay?
have children. They just
shouldn't.

And would it be such a great loss

if those people, We should adopt then maybe,
w
you know, probably, shouldn't we?
couldn't
have children? Or
I mean,
Why aren't you saying anything?
isn't this what you were saying?
I'm only carrying on from what M Yes, no, yes, I know, you're right.
 Lungs

You're absolutely right. The best mothers who only lives through
thing to do, absolutely, with the their children. I want to still read
world as it is would be to books and do things. I will not

w so many unwanted, unloved use having a child as an excuse

for becoming an idiot.
and it's completely irrational, I
know it is, but I
M You're not your mother.

M I don't w You're not your dad.

want I want to be able to play with my
to do that. M kids without it having to be
I know that makes me sort of a competitive or educational.
terrible person. I just don't think I want to still have sex. We
I'd be w
mustn't let it ruin our
what if it's something I really
w M
people get so boring and it
want to do? doesn't have to be like that.
M Then we can talk about it. I don't want to have to host the
w But not do it. best birthday parties or make the
w
best Chewbacca costume for
Halloween.

Or push our kids to do stuff they

I worry I might be one of those M
don't want to do.
fathers who doesn't notice his
M
kids unless they're winning stuff
w Harp lessons or

or getting in trouble. but it has to value learning and

M
w I don't want to be one of those
be able to think for itself.
 Lungs

But not so thoughtful that it gets about this? To be worrying about

w
depressed and lonely. all this? We used to do stuff. Go

Autumn babies get picked first to the zoo. Go clubbing.

M
for sport. M We still do.

No princesses or soldiers. No w When?

w guns and tiaras. M How about tonight?
Disney will not dictate what our
w Not tonight.
and the schools are a mess, we'd
M Friday.
have to get on the board of
M
governors or parents w It'll be too hectic on Friday.
associations. M Wednesday.
We're talking about it. Look at
w
us.

w Okay.

M l'VE MISSED THIS!

We're not going to know. We can
M w WHAT?
theorise all we like,
I SAID l'VE MISSED THIS.
w we have to. M
BEING OUT.
But when we've got a baby in our
w BEING OUT, YEAH.
arms we'll look back on what we
M WE'VE GOT SO BORING.
said and laugh at how na'ive we M
S TAYING IN. TELEVISION.
were.
TELEVISION.
w Are we too young to be thinking w
WHAT?
 Lungs

M IT'S VERY LOUD IN HERE. w I'm sure. Yes.

w I CAN'T HEAR YOU. Yes.

M IT'S GREAT. M Okay.

w Let's go to bed.

M Okay.

ARE YOU READY TO GO w Can we stop a second?

HOME? M Again?

w
My feet still hurt. Used to love w I think I just need
those boots.
M it's been weeks.
M Look at those llamas.
w I'm sorry I'm just
w Everyone here has a pram.
M not again.
M Shall I grow a beard?
w If we're/ going to do this
Yes okay yes it's yes let's make
there's no if there's no so don't
another person. I gave myself a M
please don't/ start with that.
w week to think it through and yes I
I'm not starting I'm just
think we should do it. I think we
w
should try. I'm talking, I'm saying that if

M You're sure? because I mean, not if, because,

because we're doing
this

M we are we are
You're not sure or you wouldn't
need to
w you're going to have to
 Lungs
M I am.
Let me finish, you're going to
w have to relax because this should
be beautiful and
M I'm fine.
You're fine okay good good
because it's just, and maybe I'm
reading this all wrong maybe I'm
seeing something that's not
w really happening, but it feels like
you're sort offeeling quite a lot
of that the way you're being
towards me is sort of giving off a
lot of
hate.
M I don't hate you.
No I know I know you don't I
w know that I know that I know you
don't.
M I don't hate you.
Please don't take that the wrong
w
way.
M Might go for a walk.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I've ruined it
w I'm tense and it's not just your
fault
M what isn't? Fault? What is?
w No, stop, okay look all I'm
okay. So.
We're trying. We're trying and it's
that's wonderful, it is and it's
scary it's wonderful and scary
and not just for me because it's
my body it's going to be
happening to, not to but inside
or whatever but for both of us it
is isn't it, and we're not talking
about it and there's this
atmosphere isn't there or is it
just me who's
maybe it's just me then.
M I was there. I was ready.
 Lungs

w Yes. Yes.

Yes I know.
And you've got that porno look
I know and I'm sorry.
in your eyes.
I know.
M I can't help the way I look.

That look like you want to hurt

w
me a lot.

But it's M I don't.

alright. That look that murderers and

w
Deep breath. men in porn films have.

I want our M It's just

I'm concentrating.
it's about making a person. What
w Scares me.
we're doing. It's
M Really?
about this amazing
miracle, not miracle but you w No.
know what I mean, miracle yes No of course it doesn't.
miracle it's about this miracle But yes, a bit.
happening and it
M Fucking hell.
I want it to
Don't feel bad about it I don't
need it to feel w
I don't know want you to

sacred or M do you feel this a lot? When we

not sacred but
w no. No. No. No.
yes.
 Lungs

M You've said it before. sometimes I want to get inside

w Sometimes but
M you so much, want to open you
up, split you apart/ like you're a
you've mentioned it. It's one of
M okay okay okay and that's
your things.
w in the right context that's fine ,
Only sometimes it
w that's more than fine that's
things? One of my things?
but this is different, this is
I want you. Sometimes I get this
when I want you I'm thinking about

get this animal fucking aren't you thinking about

horrible you know what it means? What we're
lust doing? The thing beyond
I suppose,
the moment?
M want to
fucking M Honestly?

you know. w Yes honestly.

Hard.
Honestly I'm just thinking about
Want to M
the moment.
yes, hurt you maybe. A little.
Make you scream.
w Okay.

In that moment I'm not thinking

I know baby and sometimes
w I'm just my cock and my mouth
that's really M
and my/ hands and looking at
M you want it.
your
Sometimes I do I do sometimes
w w
yes alright alright alright okay,
I do but
good okay.
 Lungs

M So squeamish about this stuff. the danger, the

w I'm not I'm just M danger?

just want a the way you need me, that

I don't know. Connection. Is that there's nothing else on the entire

what I mean? planet for you at that moment,

bombs could be going off, an
Some
earthquake or whatever and it
like it's the two of us together wouldn't matter to you in that
and not something you're
w
moment and I love I can make
doing you feel that way and I do, often,

to me. usually, lots of the time I'm there

as well, I'm absolutely the
Did you know in those scanning
world's not there it's just us and
machines the same bit of a
we're the whole universe.
man's brain lights up when he
looks at a woman as when he And then sometimes

looks at a spanner? and I'm just being honest here

M What does that mean? okay but sometimes it looks like
you're about to hack off my
w Sorry. Sorry.
limbs. You know? Like you're
Sometimes that look you do is
going to smash in my teeth,
sexy. It is. Sometimes it makes
throw me into bin bags and bury
me think
me in the woods.
oof.
Not always but that's how it feels
And your shoulders and your sometimes.
noises and the weight of you and
 Lungs

M Fucking hell.

Only sometimes. And only for a

w
second.
Know any good jokes?
M Fuck.

w I shouldn't have said anything.

M No.
We won't sleep now will we? Not
w I should have just for a bit.
M no it's

w shit.

M I never want to hurt you. We can try again. I'm glad we

I'm sorry I'm just scared and I'm talked about it. We can try again.
w
not Yeah. Of course.
M
We will.

We can try again. I'm glad we

w
talked about it. We can try again.
I don't know what I'm talking
about. I never feel that way. Yeah. Of course.
M
We will.
Let's
Not right away though.

w No. Okay.

woo. Fucking hell.

I need a big laugh or a big cry.

 Lungs

I/ love you. M fuck sake.

I'm going to read for a bit. Watch w I'm just saying.

M
TV maybe. M Okay.
Do you want me to come with
w
you?

M No.
w Okay.
Get some sleep.
M Good morning.
Okay.
w w You're cheerful.
Sweetheart,
M I think spring's here.
just, w You made breakfast.

We should move.
sorry but
Go to Brighton. Isn't that what
don't people do?
you know. Get some outdoor space. Fresh

I know you're air. Room for goalposts.

that you didn't
M what?
w Doesn't matter.
I wasn't going to masturbate if
M
that's/ what you're asking.
All I'm saying is we need all the
w Let's think about it.
help we can get so please don't
M
Trampoline. Paddling pool.
Trees. We should plant some
trees. Put a bit more oxygen into
the world. Like you said. Do our
bit.
w We should get married.
M
 Lungs

w You don't want to? Sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just

M One thing at a time maybe. the economy is in freefall and

w I'll make coffee.
M You should get a job.
Once I've got my PhD my/
w What do you mean happening
prospects will be
M we can't both be
I know this isn't very feminist of
me but actually sweetheart I
think you should, if we're serious
w
about this, you should get
something a bit more full-time
and
I know you get free records and
time off to do gigs but we've
both got to make sacrifices and
I'm not going to be able to work
once I get bigger and then for a
nobody's buying vinyl anymore.
You really don't want to get
married?
to? Last night when we were
M talking you said it's your body,
that it's your body it's happening
to.
w Well it is.
M Talk about it like it's a
it is my body that
w when it happens, yes, it'll
happen to me.
Alright I know yes of course but
M
do you want some of this?
w I'm not hungry.

lot of that first year and we're You make it sound like a
going to need to I don't know

plenty of musicians have

M damage,
M violence,
children.
an act of terrorism or
Plenty of successful musicians
w w well,
have children.
 Lungs

M you see it as
I'll stretch, expand, become a a a
w yes.
a a house, my breasts will swell,
M Threatening. ache, hurt like hell then get

Not just that but drained and lose their shape

actually I will have some forever, my

w
but, yes I'm fucking terrified. If
I'm honest. you know, my

M That's I mean,
that's bound to change with
it's a shame.
what it has to go
w It's realistic. I'm trying to be through.
I'm readying myself. Have you ever seen a real birth?
It's not like TV. It's blood and
Yes I'm excited about growing
shit and mess and I'll be torn
bigger and getting scans and yes
and bruised like I've gone under
giving birth as well of course but
a truck.
it's going to be painful and
uncomfortable and my feelings, This must be how a caterpillar
my thoughts are going to be all feels as it cocoons itself.
over the place. I'm sorry I can't
And I've got anxiety about that.
M
that I can't do it.
Of course I do.
w You don't have a womb.

You get that right? M That's what I'm saying.

You wish you could be the one

w
who gets
 Lungs

M yes.

w Pregnant? If you're serious/ about

M Don't laugh at me. w yes you're right.

You wish you could gestate the You're going to be a home, an

w foetus to full term then birth it
through your
a bit yes I do. I feel already that
we're not equal somehow, that I
M can never quite know what it
feels like and you'll know that I
can't and
M
ecosystem and you're/ polluting
I've said yes shut up yes I've said
w
yes alright so/ please just
it doesn't make sense to me that
M you could want to be a mother
and still be smoking.
You don't understand because

w
you're over-thinking it. This is
w you've never been addicted to
delicious, is there more? anything.
M Have mine. Those two impulses seem to me
M
w No. to be completely

M I'm done. w you're right.

w What's wrong? So shut up.

M Nothing.

Good luck.

You should quit smoking. M I'm doing it for you.

w For us.
 Lungs
M T hat's what I mean.
w You look handsome in your suit.
M I feel sick.
w How did it go?
M M
Find out Monday.
w Keep checking your email.
M Here goes.
w Well?
You're looking at the newest cog
M
in the corporate machine.
w I'm so proud of you.
M Will you drive me?
w How many do you think?
M Left here. How many
trees. Few weeks ago you said
about planting trees. Do you
w know? I do. How many trees
would we have to plant to
counteract the
M left again.
I did some maths. How many
w
plane trips? London to New
York?
M
two thousand five hundred and
w
fifty.
two/ thousand
I could fly to New York and back
every day for seven years and
w
still not leave a carbon footprint
as big as if I have a child.
M You're having second thoughts.
Ten thousand tonnes of CO .
2
T hat's the weight of the Eiffel
w
Tower. I'd be giving birth to the
Eiffel Tower.
M You/ wouldn't be giving
and if we had a second it doesn't
just double because the chances
of them reproducing and how
many they might have and how
w many their children's children
might have and how many their
children's children's children
might have that goes up
exponentially.
 Lungs
Fuck recycling or electric cars,
fuck energy efficient fucking light
bulbs, unless educated,
thoughtful people like us stop
making babies the world is
totally fucking fucked.
M We should talk about this.
We are talking about it, it's
fucking nuts it's fucking
terrifying it's the taboo, the last
real taboo. / There is no
incentive to save lives right now,
w there is no incentive to to to to
to cure AIDS or whatever, to
keep people alive, what we need
is the planet to fucking purge us
fucking drown us, burn us, cull
everyone by about two thirds.
What's happening now? What's
actually happening in your mind?
What have you been reading?
M Because really it's important to
check your sources thoroughly.
There's a lot of scaremongering
and I know you know that, I
know you know all of that. You
tell me off for the stuff I read
because it's too too too I don't
know.
Fucking, hurricanes. Floods.
w Fucking volcanoes. Earthquakes.
Tsunamis. Bring it on.
M Up here on the right.
And we're just letting it happen.
We're so caught up with our little
w
fucking lives and we're killing
everyone.
M We're not killing everyone.
We're not killing everyone.
w I got my period.
M Oh sweetheart.
w That doesn't mean I'm not right.
M I know.
I'm going to smoke a cigarette
w and I don't need you judging me,
alright? I'm going to smoke 'til I
 Lungs

vomit. You could meet me for lunch.

Do you want me to take the day

M We could make it a regular thing.
M Tuesday thing.
off?

Yes. No. Your first day? Don't be w Okay.

w
stupid. M What's that?

M I can. w Sandwiches. Picnic.

We're here now. Go on. Just M Shit.

w
come straight home after.
w It's Tuesday.
M Okay. M I forgot.
w And bring cake. Made us a picnic. This weather.
M Here. w Let's sit on the grass. Find some

w What's that? shade.

M Cake. M Look, I can't.

w I missed you. w
Didn't make it. Bought it. Got
you a donut and a Ribena too.
Why? I mean, thanks, you too,
M M I forgot, I'm sorry.
but

lately it's feeling more and more And an apple to counteract the
w w donut. What do you mean
odd when we're apart.
forgot? It's Tuesday.
Sorry I've barely been here. My
M M There's a meeting.
appraisal's coming up.

I wish I could come to work with w At lunch?

w M
you. Carbon efficiency, ethical blah
 Lungs

blah blah. there. And it'll only take us forty

w Skip it. years to burn the same again.

Our kid would be middle aged,
M I asked for it.
maybe have kids of their own.
w Go in late. You / asked for it? Grandkids even.
Offsetting, that sort of thing yes I It's actually pretty interesting
asked for it. I think we should when you get into it, when
plant trees. T he company. Lots
M sex we should have sex. Find
of them. Forests of them. Try to
somewhere.
offset our you know, our
Now. Walk and eat. Have donuts
footprint, our
and if we find somewhere a a a a
w yes. w I don't know, a secluded
I've been reading that book of bush or
yours. Was up half the night. I've wooded area, or a
overtaken you with it I think. I've you know, a public
got to that bit about how since toilet,
M the Industrial Revolution we, M not a public
people, everyone, we've put half
we could be quick. You could
a trillion tonnes of pure carbon w
make your meeting.
into the air. Twenty seven billion
tonnes a year.

w I had to stop reading it.

Apparently an elephant weighs a M What kind of donut?

M tonne. So there's half a trillion w Iced.

elephants worth of carbon up
 Lungs

actually though?

M Yes we are.

M Alright. w How?

w Well. M How?

Well well well. w In what way are we?

M We haven't done that in a while. M We just are.

w Needed to. w Yes. Okay.

M You're loud. M We're going to be great parents.

w Was I loud?
w
I think it's okay to ask the
question.
M Where did that come from?
M
w What does that mean?
So do I.

M I'll have some explaining to do.

w Good.

w There'll be other meetings. M

It's part of what makes us good
people.
M Yeah.
But I don't
Proud of you. It's good, it's a
w we don't believe, do we, in good
w good thing that you're trying to
and bad. Right and wrong.
do.
M Don't we?
M I missed the meeting.
w Don't believe in evil.
w Are we good people?
Not evil no, we don't condemn
M Yes.
M people, we try to empathise, to
w I mean, yes I know but are we put ourselves in their/ position.
 Lungs

Shoes I know we do yes but people.

w
doesn't everybody think that w Okay. Good.
they're good? Doesn't everyone
M I'm going back to work now.
believe they're

some people wouldn't ask,

w Okay. I love you.
M
wouldn't question it. It's going to be very lucky to
have such thoughtful parents
w Hitler or Rupert Murdoch or M
who care about things and who
everyone thinks they're doing the will love it very much.
M
right thing. Pretty much.
w It?
w So what makes us sure?
M Him or her.
M You're worrying too much.
w We recycle.
w Yes.
M We do.
M You're thinking too much.
We don't keep the tap running
w Okay. w
when we brush our teeth.
M Okay? M That's right.
We must be very certain, We watch the news. We vote. We
arrogant even, to want to create w
march. We recycle.
w another person out of our genes
M Yes.
and to teach / it and to bring it
We support the smaller coffee
up as
w
shops against the larger chains.
we are we are we are certain.
M We're not M Even when it tastes like soil.

bad w Does it? Sorry.

 Lungs
I'll see you tonight. I'll run you a
M bath and we can sit and talk.
How's that?
w More hot.
Okay. Move your feet I don't
M
want to scald you.
We watch documentaries. We
read books about proper things.
w
We read the classics. We watch
subtitled films.
M We ride bikes. We buy fair trade.
w We give to charity.
What?
M I didn't say anything.
We do. We give to charity. I do
w fun runs. I've done one anyway
and I'll do another one.
M I didn't say anything.
You have a red credit card for
w
Bono's AIDS in Africa thing.
M I didn't say/ anything.
You gave five hundred pounds to
the crisis appeal when that
w
horrible thing happened. Okay
too much hot now.
M Sorry.
We shouldn't feel guilty about
having things when really in the
grand scheme of things we are
w not spoilt, we don't live beyond
not too far beyond our means
it's not swimming pools and
sports cars and
M I'm not saying anything.
We live pretty simply actually, we
spend money on food and books
and music and films and
holidays sometimes and our
mortgage and we don't just
w
throw it away and yes it would be
lovely to give more I do feel like
we should, I wish we could give
more but it's just not, we don't
have any more
 Lungs
hey, just
M
alright, you're
w am I being mental?
You're somewhere on the
M what should I do? Do I have to
spectrum.
Oh fuck it's maybe it's
hormones maybe it's my
hormones I do feel crazy I do
w
feel like some, I don't know,
some chemicals some foreign
chemicals are
M alright still, you're still
sorry I'll stop I'll stop I'll just sit
for a second I'll just try to calm
down, just soak for a second do
you think that's what it is? Do
w you think the garage is still open
do you think they'll, they sell
condoms and things don't they
but a pregnancy test do you
think they'll
M do you want me to go and see?
Don't ask please don't ask that
w M
why are you having to ask me
isn't it fucking obvious, isn't it
fucking sometimes you're like a
child sometimes and you look at
me with those pathetic eyes like
say it? Yes, yes, yes go, check, go
and check now why are you not
putting your shoes on why are
you just staring at me like I'm a
is this still the hormones do you
M think or are you just being nasty
now?
I'm sorry oh fuck I'm losing my
mind this is amazing does this
happen? Is this what happens or
w am I just having a breakdown? I
fucking better be pregnant
because otherwise this is
terrifying.
Isn't it vomiting? Isn't that the
M
first thing? Or missing a period?
It's not been long enough for
w
what date is it?
It's
 Lungs

w thirteenth, fourteenth Check it each minute but then

M
M keep checking.
when did you
Good good yes good. I'll come
w
cinema when did we go and see w
that film? and get you.

M You mean the Right okay.

M
What?
that shit film that you liked and I
w I can't go when you're right
fell asleep in? w
there.
M That was
You've peed in front/ of me
was that three, four weeks ago M
w before, you've
already?
I know but I've got performance
M You didn't like that film? w
anxiety as it is and
Five. I think it was fuck I think
M some water I could get you some
yes it was fuck fuck fuck it was I
should have already had go. Go. please yes but then will that
w w count if it's come/ straight
Go. Why are you still here? I'll
come with you. I need a towel. through you

Give me a kiss. or will it have to sort of percolate

M
M I see what you're saying.
How long does it say?

w A minute. Two minutes. w It doesn't say in the instructions.

M Alright. M Do I really have to leave?

Let's leave it for three just to This isn't one of the special bits.
w w Pissing on a plastic stick isn't
make sure.
one of the sacramental
 Lungs

yes. I want to, I want to see all of right.

M
it I think it's all Now we wait.
fine okay okay okay run the tap
w
or

M how's that?
How long's that been?
w Ssshhh.
M Thirty seconds.
M Gush or a trickle?
w Really? Wow.
w Please.
M A minute.
M Sorry.
w How about

M two minutes.

w Right.
Shouldn't keep it running like
M Three.
this.

Can we not think of the planet

w Okay,
w here we go.
for one second?

M Sorry.

Okay that's
w I think M Where's my phone?
yes,
w You hate your parents.

M That's not true.

w Okay, I hate your parents but

 Lungs

I mean they're not like mine, w I just

mine are yes.
you could have called them M Okay.
M
already.
I'm tingly. What is it I'm feeling?
I'm going to dial. Do you want to w
w Like, naughty a little bit, like
speak to them?
M you shouldn't feel naughty.
M No.
Like embarrassed almost, like
After, I mean, they'll want to w
w I'm
speak to you.
M it's a secret that's why.
M Why?
It is it is it's our secret. It's our
I don't know, they might, they
w w
secret. Fucking hell I just had
might want to say, you know this fucking massive, ooooaar,
I could call mine at the same shiver up my spine.
M
time. M You've gone white.
You could of course you could, Fucking goose bumps I'm
just let me, I just, let's just get shaking look I just had this and
w this first call done and then, you this is going to seem so weird
know, then people know, then but I just had this thought which
it's out and was that it's not just you and me
w
you want them to be the first to any more, in this room, it's you
M
know. and me and then there's this

w Is that okay? other thing here now which is

half you and half me and half
M Before mine.
completely something new.
 Lungs

It's happening. It's happening. maybe or

It's happening.
w no, I know I know.
M Yes.
M I'm watching you.

w
You look normal or is it just that
w Right.
I'm not seeing clearly?
Getting everything from you,
No, I feel M
M you're
I'm happy. I'm ecstatic.
w buzzing.
w Good. Good.
M Should we call your parents?
M It's not sunk in yet I don't think.
w Okay.
No. I know. I know. What do you
w M No, I mean, should we?
mean it's not sunk in?

M Nothing, it's
w Because

they do say don't

I've been preparing myself for it,
not straight away
bracing myself and now M
because it's still very early and a
w shock.
lot can
M Exactly.
w why are you saying this?
But you are
Just, they say it for a reason
you're feeling something of
w M because, you know, they say one
course you are, you're
in four pregnancies ends in
not just
do we have to be sensible right
I'm
w now? Do we have to bring in the
M yes I'm
thunderclouds of reason to rain
it's the eye of the hurricane
 Lungs

on this moment of pure fucking Am I losing my mind? I'm being

bliss? Can't we for just one
second feel invincible and
reckless before we start saying
words like miscarriage?
M I'm sorry.
You have no idea at times, I'm
feeling something and hoping
you're feeling it too but you're
w cranky. First day of school
just thinking thinking thinking
trying to be logical and it
frightens the life out of me.
w so nasty and I don't want to be
nasty.
M It's okay.
Not to you. I don't want to be
w nasty to you.
Not to anyone actually.
I'm not smoking as well so
feeling. The world just got bigger
and I can see us from space and
we're just a

speck.

I'm going to call my mum.

Yeah, this is
M Do you really hate my parents?
M this is all a bit
I'm just feeling a bit w Yes.

that was uncalled for the way I

w spoke to you just now I think
wasn't it?
M Because
M It's okay.

w You're right you're right, you are. why?

M Okay.
w The thought of our offspring
 Lungs

sharing their genetic code. That I M I don't.

could look into my son's eyes
Why would you say that? My
and see your father makes me w parents have never been/
no. I'm being emotional. Ignore anything but
me. They're fine. I'm fond of M they have I know. I'm not
them in a way. Of course I am.
w you should be careful.
M We never stay. Not long.
M Sorry.
That's because
And our kid is going to have
don't you feel this w
their genes too so be careful.
that in their own way they're
w M Can we just
lovely, they're
once you get attuned to their never mind.
you know,
w What?
but if I stay there for any length
M Never mind.
of time I worry that I might just
put some scissors though their
w What?

necks. Can we
I need to just put this on pause,
M Right. M
just put this argument/ on
w Don't you feel that way?
pause and say I love you.
M What, about your parents?
Not an argument it's a/
w No, about
w
conversation.

why would you feel that way if we're going to be tearing bits
M
about my parents? off each other it's good that we
 Lungs

take a second just to Oh, you know.

w
w can you not do this? She's happy. Of course she is.

M we're parents now. M Except

nothing. She's pleased, she's

w
happy.

M They didn't want to speak to me?

w Yes. Okay.
w No.
M So do you want to hug or maybe
M Congratulate me?
w no let's save that for
w She was crying.
M no, okay.
M Good crying?
I don't feel like doing that right
w Crying for, I don't know. I don't
now. w
think she means what she said.
M Fine.
M What did she say?

w She knows I love you.

Let's call your mum and dad. M What did she say?

She's just anxious for me that's

w
all.

Wishes you were having

w Maybe later. M
someone else's baby.
M Yeah.
w I didn't say that.
w Okay.
Well you're not, you're having
M So what did she say? M
mine so she can go fuck herself.
 Lungs

w Please don't/ talk about

M bitch bitch bitch bitch.

w No. M I'm going to prove her wrong.

M
Thinks I'm boring that's what w I know you will.
you said.

w No.

Because I told her I was reading

M I know you will.
a book on radiation.
Come here.
w No.

Because I tried to talk to her

about food scarcity and
M
economic incentives for capping What's the matter?
emissions. M I can't sleep.
w Now you are being boring. w Try.
M They were your books. M I've been trying for hours.
w She didn't say anything. w Switch your brain off.
M Give me the phone. It's just disaster scenarios
M
w Okay. playing out in my head.

M I'm going to call her. w Oh baby.

w Fine. Keep drifting off but it's

M explosions and helicopters and
M lwill.
chunks of land collapsing into
w Go ahead.
 Lungs

the sea. again until we get one that's

w Anxiety dreams. perfect.

M No shit. I'm not saying that but let's be/

M
realistic about
w You've seen too many crap films.
I'm saying I know what I want.
M We should at least/ consider
I don't care if it's born without
w I know but just bones or limbs, legs or a face
when then, when? We need to be just a a a a a an amorphous blob
M
equipped for if they of skin and a mouth which just
w
screams and screams I don't
I'm not going to know until they
care if it's like the thing in
say. I can't plan for how I'm
w Eraserhead it's mine, ours and
going to feel in that moment if
it's part of us and we'll love it,
they're saying our child is
we will, we'll love it no matter
M okay but
no matter.
that there's something wrong
w
with

We should have thought about it

M
before. Talked about it. M No. Of course. I know.

w Okay alright here it is. w Won't we?

I want it whatever. If it's

I don't know

I'm not comfortable with Yes.

flushing it away and starting M
Of course.
 Lungs

It's going to be harder to travel

now you know, with

Let's try to sleep.

nothing's ending. It's the start of

something. I'm young. We're
Are you asleep?
young. It's exciting.

Can't tell if my eyes are open.

Am I keeping you awake?
I can't sleep.
Just can't stop thinking.

I'm trying. Everything. Life. The universe.

Death.

Try to picture what I'll look like.

I've always thought
I'm okay, I'm an okay person. A
normal enough person.
Basically, you know, good.
Dead. Stopped.
Just another object in the room.
Who'll see me like that.
What my expression will be.
When the face just relaxes it
looks sort of sarcastic I think.
My dead face.

I wish I'd read more when I was If it's going to happen, the

younger. Or just, maybe slept solution to it all, the survival of

with more people. Or travelled. mankind, it will happen in our

 Lungs
lifetime.
It has to. And we'll be alive to
witness it.
When we're talking I can't take
my eyes off you. You're so
honest with me and it hurts
sometimes but I remind myself
you only say these things
because you trust me. That I'm
an anchor or something, I'm a
nucleus to your proton, is that
right? I think sometimes you
think we're having a
conversation and that I'm
listening and responding but
really I'm only silent because I
have no idea what to say.
You're like an animal, a hungry,
wild animal and you're circling
me and snarling and you're
beautiful and exciting and you're
trusting me because I'm
standing still but really I'm just
frozen to the spot, really I just
don't know what else to do and I
worry that sometimes you think
that that's strength and it's not,
it's not, it's just
I dreamt that the baby had been
born but it was just a cloud. A
little thunder cloud. Or a
squirming little creature with
fangs and claws and flashing
eyes.
I'II take a book off the shelf, any
book and you'll have turned
down the pages and underlined
things. Put stars in the margins.
And I stare at the sentence
you've highlighted. I'll reread the
paragraph. I'll think what has she
seen that I can't see? What is it
that I don't understand?
w Go to sleep.
M What time is it?
w You've been snoring.
M What are you doing?
w Vomiting. Feel poisoned. Burst a
 Lungs

blood vessel in my eye, look.

Why do they use food to explain
M Oh. Yeah.
everything? And why do they call
w Look, my stomach. I'm definitely the baby 'baby'. Not 'your baby'?

M no, you are I can see it. 'Baby is the size of a lentil.'

w I'm 'Baby is the size of a kidney

bean.'
M massive.
'A peanut.'
Oh.
w 'An olive.'
I wasn't thinking
M Are you hungry?
M no I mean,
w Famished.
w massive? Really?
M I'll make you breakfast.
M Just, no, showing, you're
I want bacon and washing
w I just meant w
powder.
I mean you can see it, you can, M You can have bacon.
M
you're definitely
w Close your eyes.
w you can see it, you can definitely
M What have you done?
M there's a bump.
w We have a nursery.
w A bump. I've got a bump.
M Green?

We don't want pink or blue and

w
yellow is so
According to the Internet, my M you're covered.
uterus is the size of a grapefruit.
w I've painted little trees.
 Lungs

M I brought you chilli chocolate. M Not to us.

w You're my hero. I'm so terrified. I have no idea

w
Is it crazy I've been looking into how I'm going to be.
M
local schools? You're going to be a wonderful
M
Do you want to know? Boy or mum.
w
girl? Or should / we w You don't know that.

shou Id it be a surprise on the M Yes I do.

M
day?

Not that the day won't be special

w
enough as it is.
Thank you for being my person.
M I'm too curious to wait. w
For putting up with me when I'm
w Me too.

we should get married. I know

I was thinking. w that's old fashioned or whatever.
It's silly. I know you're against the idea.
What if I don't
I love you. I don't say that
what if I can't
enough.
love it?
M You look beautiful.
What if I look in its eyes and I let
w Not fat?
it grip my little finger and I hold
M Fat and beautiful.
it in my arms and I don't feel a
thing? That happens doesn't it?
 Lungs

w Much.
At least I can start smoking
M Yes. w
again.
w I'll be a planet.
Oh sweetheart.
M
So Shit.

you know. You were right. We shouldn't

Brace yourself.
w
have got excited.

M Don't be silly.

We shouldn't have told anyone.

w
M Okay. We knew this could happen.

w Ouch. Do you have change for the

coffee machine?
M What is it?
M Give me the keys.
w Oh.
w I'm not an invalid.
Oh no.
M Talk to me.
M Blood.
w I don't want to.
w Not this. Not to us.
M Hold my hand then.
M Hospital. Now.
It's for the best probably isn't it?
w I can't bear this.
Would have completely taken
M I'll wait outside. over our lives. So much time and
No. money, so much that could go
w w wrong. End up sleepless with
I need you.
worry or with our heads in the
M Okay.
sand.
T he world.
Who'd want to have a child now?
 Lungs

We should be happy. This is a w It wasn't as necessary or

relief it is it is it is we should be M it was my idea.
relieved we should take a deep
breath and give a huge sigh of
thank fuck for that because we're
not going to add to any of it, w Yeah. I'm just trying to
we're not going to add yet one
I'm just trying
more lost person into this
crowded little world so good for
us. Let's go on holiday. Let's fly
somewhere.
M get some sleep.
Let's spend our money on us
before the global economy
completely implodes. Let's crack
open some champagne. When I'm here.
the riots start let's join in. Let's I heard you get up, can I sit with
smash something. Start some you?
fires. If we see an electric car
You fell asleep. I brought you in
with a baby on board sticker let's
here.
ram it off the road the fucking
hypocrites. The damage they're Goodnight.

doing. Good morning.

It's a relief for you I suppose.
Goodnight.
M Why would you say that?
I made some tea.
w Just
I'll see you after work.
you never quite seemed as
Have you been sat there all day?
M that's not true.
It's getting dark.
 Lungs
It's getting light.
Come to bed.
You fell asleep.
I woke up and you were gone.
You've not said a word to me for
days.
Baby.
What's wrong?
w Please don't. Don't ask me that.
M I want to know.
You should know without me
saying. If you ask then it makes
me think you have no soul no
fucking clue about me and that
w
you have this weird male fucking
autism or something this ability
to just shut off your brain, your
feelings,
it makes me think you have no
shred of empathy, that there's no
real meaningful connection
between us, that I've just wanted
it and felt it but it's not there and
it makes me feel desperate, feel
alone and abandoned and like I
want to stop breathing.
M You're angry with me.
w No. No I'm not I'm
yes. Alright I must be I suppose.
I'm angry at this. This
everything. I hate it.
M We can try again.
w No.
I can't bear it.
Sorry.
There it is.
Should we stay together do you
think? Or should we
I don't know.
Not.
 Lungs

because I'm telling you to, I

don't want that, not

M sorry.
M
Fucking apologising you don't
I'm not saying this because I
w want to break up. I don't know
w know do you what you're
apologising for, so
what I want.
I need some
I just think it would be
I think it's a good opportunity for just space.
us to M Space?
you know,
Space. Fucking space. Yes. The
talk.
w fucking final frontier why are you
Have a conversation.
/ repeating things I'm saying?
Ask ourselves some serious
you know, Sorry I'm

difficult
M opportunity?
You know what I'm saying please
w trying to fucking
fucking help me out here.
M No. I know what I want.
We should, no, we should take
some time and really think about
this because right now I don't
w want to look at you. I need you to
just fucking put your arms
around me but you're not and
don't, please, not now, not
just
M getting my head around it that's
all. Just trying to catch up a bit,
w get your head around it.
Yes. And it's taking me a second
so I'm sorry. I love you. I'm
M I don't know what you need or
what you this is difficult for me
too.
Oh fuck off/ I'm not saying it's
w not, I'm not saying
it's easy for you I know it's
 Lungs

don't put that on me don't we could try again. If that's what

look we're both in the same we want to do.
we've both M It is.
just I need some help I need w I don't know.
some help a little fucking
I need you to give me some
clues here as to what you need
M
because honestly I feel like Feel like I've had my skin peeled
you're standing behind a glass off.
wall just this sheet of glass and I
M I kissed someone else. At work.
can't reach you.
The new girl. The temp. I didn't
w Don't cry for fuck sake because
talk to her about you and I don't
look, know why, didn't say I had a

for fuck sake.

she was nice to me. She was nice

It's okay. to me. We talked about music.

Fuck. It is. And she kissed me and I didn't

stop her.
There are people in the world
with real problems. However hurt you feel and raw
This is just and angry that's how I'm feeling
too and that I love you more
people go through this
than anything. I'd cut off my
everywhere. All the time.
arms for you. I'd pull my eyes
Through time.
out. And I'm sorry. And I know
We'll
that if I go back in on Monday
 Lungs
and she's there I might do it
again.
I could see our future together,
this picture of what our lives
were going to be like and it feels
like I've been burgled and I have
to live in this stupid angry
version of the world where the
person I adore, my best friend in
the world can't even look at me
and where I can't look at myself.
I miss you.
I want to sit opposite you in a
restaurant, share a bottle of
wine. I want to go to the cinema
and hold your hand. Run around
in the park.
We can try again.
Adopt maybe.
Why are you smiling?
For the first time in ages I feel a
w
little clarity.
I'm sad. I've been really sad and
I don't know if that's ever going
to go away completely. I'm sorry
I've not been able to tell you
what I've needed. I don't know
what I needed.
Yes I do.
I needed you to be patient with
me. To wait as long as it took. I
needed you to be braver than me
and put your own feelings
second and to understand. To try
to imagine what it's like to
miscarry. To realise that there are
certain feelings I'm trying to
cope with and protecting you
from and I'm working hard.
Most of all I needed you to not
kiss someone else.
So, I'm being sensible for both
of us. T hat's it.
Lucky we don't have kids.
 Lungs

So there you are. M How was the funeral?

M You look good. w It's tomorrow.

w No I don't, shut up. T hank you. M Oh.

M No, it's Come with me. Will you come

w thanks for meeting me. w with me? I mean, if/ you want
to.
Oh, it's
M no, of course. I was surprised M Really? Because

when you asked w weird? Too weird, forget it. Sorry.

w right. Of course, I'll, yeah if you want

M
M Starbucks. me to.

w Oh. Yeah. Well. You know. w

I do yeah that would be good.
You don't need to check with
M Didn't seem like you.
M check with what? What?
w Beard.
w Nothing.
M I know.

w It's good.

M Oh. Yeah. M My dad died. Few months back.

w I didn't know who else to tell. w You never said.

M No, I'm glad you did. M No, I know I didn't know if

w Mum was very fond of you. w oh, no, that's

M I thought she hated me.

w Yeah.

We're getting to that age now.

 Lungs

How are you anyway? How's

Scary. Be just us left soon.
w life? How's work?
Good? Everything good?

M Yeah/ it's

Fuck. Look at you. w how's the temp?

M You too. M Oh. Yeah. No, we're not

w Just want to just w no?

take just a second. M No we're, we, / I mean we

Mental picture. that's really I'm really I'm sorry

w
Click. about that.

M It's alright. No no no, I mean after we,

you and I
w No, I know. I know.
once we
M Oh, please don't M I just wasn't
you don't need to oh. I didn't have the
energy
I'm sorry, I promised myself I
w for another
wouldn't

M it's okay. It's okay. not right away, not

Mess. Already. Brilliant. Well
w so you didn't
done me.
w I mean
M You're okay, just with the

you're okay.
temp

that didn't
you didn't
 Lungs

oh, well, yeah but M Yeah.

M
I mean, that was just w You don't have to

M I don't mind.
fucking hell.
w I don't want to hear it.
That was this whole other

w right.

M Thing. So okay.
w Right. Yeah. This is horrible.
M How about you? I don't know what I was
Do we really want to talk about expecting.
this? I mean, I think I might leave before we
I don't want to talk about this. start talking about the weather.
w I know that we're not
M It's fucked.
that you and I are no longer
but I still don't want to hear It is. It's impossible. Sweat's
w
about your your your sex life or pouring off me like

M no okay. everything's shut down. City

M
can't cope with it.
w So you're not together now?

No. Fuck. No. No.

w Keep passing out.
M
No. M What?

No. Dehydration or

w Right. Okay.
w I carry a bottle around with me
but I just go through it like
M Now I'm with
M yeah.
w oh okay.
w So I take two but then I'm just
 Lungs

lugging around all this water and We both are.

it's I quit smoking.
M I know I'm the same it's M Yeah?

w
we weren't right together were
w It's shit. I feel so much better.
we?
M I started.
We were good people, weren't
we, but
w You're kidding.

M I look cool.
it just wasn't meant to be.

You don't believe in any of that

w No.
M
predetermination, destiny stuff. No.

w I do now. M How about your course?

Oh, w Oh. Yeah. Finishesd. Done.

M
sorry. Really? M You're a doctor.

w
Yes. w Technically.
No.

I think what with the world how

it is,
I think if I didn't think someone I've been playing again. Couple

was going to fix it all, that some

M of gigs in a friend's band.

superhuman genius was going Nothing big.

to work out how to fix it all then w Yeah?

It's a sort of electronic thing, a

I think I'd just entirely lose my M
new direction.
mind.
w Right.
I don't know.
M I think I've got stupider.
I'm different.
 Lungs

Since we While I'm driving. Not that,

I don't know what books to read,
I don't really read anything.
exactly, because I'm not tired, all
I do is sleep. It's not that. It's
just who's been driving? I don't
remember anything from the last
twenty minutes. You know. Like

I have no idea what's happening I've been on autopilot. Zombie

in the world. or

w It's fucked. and I have days like that.

M I can't remember how to think. Days.

And it feels, you know, really

wonderful.
Now I'm here with you and

Not having to worry about stuff I

have no control over. I used to
get so angry at people who didn't
w yeah.
read or think or care about
anything but I completely get it
now.

M Yeah.
Sometimes I'll be driving. No,
it's stupid.
w Well.

Well well well.

Fuck.

M Yeah.
Sometimes I'll have this thing,
I'll just sort of like I wake up. w Well.
 Lungs

M Yeah. w it's fine.

w Well well well.

M That was M no I'm

I wasn't thinking, I was just
w it was. It really was.
w no of course.
M I don't feel bad about this.
M just talking just
You,
w it's just
what? You don't
it felt right.
M not at all. w
Didn't it? I mean
to me anyway.

Yeah, no, of course it was

M
w Oh. yes.

M What? It did.

w Nothing.

M What?

w No, nothing I'm It did.

I was being But

I was thinking something. can we save the buts? I think we

w
both know.
M What?
Can we just
w just
for a minute
letting myself get carried away
just lie here and pretend that
for a bit.
we're years ago and nothing's
I forgot for a second. About her.
happened. That we'll get the
M Oh. No, I didn't mean papers and maybe go to the pub
 Lungs

for a roast. Play the quiz M You want to know?

machine. Have a quarrel about
some book I've been reading
that I explain badly and sound
like I'm advocating
I don't know,
compulsory euthanasia of the
old or
you know, I kept a drawer of your
socks and things.
Yes. No. I've not so much as
w kissed anyone else. I'm crying
again. Shit.
I tried to. I went for a drink with
this guy. But he was
horrible.

It's stuffy in here. Sorry. Can't

Don't tell me her name. Your
breathe. I'd open the window but
girlfriend.
it's just as bad out there.

I've not slept with anyone else

since you.

You don't need to know that. It M Fiancee.

doesn't matter. It doesn't matter
that you slept with two people.

w Oh.

M Yeah.
What, more?

M We were apart for

Let's never see each other again.
no I know. I know.
w
w It doesn't matter. How many? It Okay?

doesn't matter.
 Lungs

Can we just What, more?

for a minute M We were apart for
just lie here and pretend that
no I know. I know.
we're years ago and nothing's
happened. That we'll get the
w It doesn't matter. How many? It
doesn't matter.
papers and maybe go to the pub
for a roast. Play the quiz M You want to know?

machine. Have a quarrel about Yes. No. I've not so much as

some book I've been reading w kissed anyone else. I'm crying
that I explain badly and sound again. Shit.
like I'm advocating
I tried to. I went for a drink with
I don't know, this guy. But he was
compulsory euthanasia of the
old or horrible.

you know, I kept a drawer of your

socks and things.

It's stuffy in here. Sorry. Can't

Don't tell me her name. Your
breathe. I'd open the window but
girlfriend.
it's just as bad out there.

I've not slept with anyone else

since you.

You don't need to know that. It

M Fiancee.

doesn't matter. It doesn't matter

that you slept with two people.

w Oh.

M Yeah.
 Lungs

Let's never see each other again.

w So, okay, that's as far as I
Okay?
planned. I got as far as telling
you then I hoped you'd maybe
jump in and save the day, be all

You look startled. manly and know what happens

next because this is
You said we shouldn't see each
M
other. I mean,

Yet here I am. Why might that come on Superman. Swoop

w down. Save the day.
be?

M It's raining.
Anything.
w Do I look different?

M You've not got a coat. Different?

I thought I might, yes

w Nothing.
look
I've broken you. You've shut

different. down. It's too much. Can I come

in at least? I'm drenched.

Glowing maybe.

It'll be born by the time you've

M You mean said something. It'll plop out of
me and be slippering, squirming
w yep.
around in the afterbirth can I at
 Lungs

least come in or to do the right thing.

M listen, w The right thing. Good.

w it speaks. M I'm going to support you.

M Okay, listen, I'm sorry but can I w Support. Great.

can we talk later? I'll come
round, I'll
w she's here isn't she?
Of course she is. I'm an idiot.
This is horrible. I'm going.
M Wait, just
w I can't do this.
M Please.
w Don't.
M I knew I'd find you here.
w How?
M I looked everywhere else.
w You know me so well.
M Shouldn't be out here at night.
Will you just please, I'm sorry,
but just be quiet because it's
M
you're making it impossible to
think and I really need to think.
No. I won't. You shouldn't need
to think. You shouldn't. You
should just fucking know what to
w
do. Say what you want. Say what
you're feeling. Don't tell me what
I need to hear.
I don't know what you need to
M
hear.
w Then it shouldn't be a problem.
What I'm feeling, what I'm
thinking is there is no perfect
M
outcome of this. I have to tell my

We had sex in those toilets do fiancee.

w
you remember? w Yes you do.

M I'm sorry I couldn't speak before. And I

w I made you miss your meeting. M

please, shut up for a second.
I'm sorry, just give me a chance
M Obviously I'm going to do I want
here.
 Lungs

M You're not/ going to

I've not decided yet and don't tell

me your opinion because it's
Thank you. w
fucking irrelevant. What's your
opinion?

M All I'm saying is

Right.
w you think I should abort it.
So
M Hang on a second.
okay,
Get rid of the problem. It's a
let's get married.
w problem. This unborn person is
w No.
aaaaa
M Why?
M just maybe we should maybe
Okay, one, because you're
w kill it.
already engaged to someone
M Talk. Think it through.
else.
Two, w You do. You want it dead.
w because that's the least romantic I'll support you in anything you/
M
proposal in the entire sad sorry choose to do.
two hundred thousand year
I wish you were dead. I wish I
history of the human race and
w was dead. I need an earthquake.
three,
A tsunami.
because I don't want to. Fucking
I'll do what it takes. I'll do
hold your horses I don't even
M whatever you want, whatever you
know whether I'm going to keep
need.
it yet so let's not get ahead of
ourselves. w I need you to call your fiancee.

M I'm not going to tell her on the

 Lungs

phone. whilst your sperm was fertilising

Because you don't want to hurt my egg. As I sobbed on my own.

w Sobbed so hard I burst all the
her feelings.
capillaries under my eyes.
Because she deserves better than
M Vomited. Took an earring and
that.
pushed the metal point into my
Better than her husband-to-be
w arm, drew blood, a lot, here look,
impregnating his ex-girlfriend? it got infected.
M T han being told by phone. What happened with me and you
M
How touching. You must love wasn't to do with her.
w
her very much. You and me, you really have
w
Yes. Actually I do. Is that stopped reading.
surprising, she's my fucking I still loved her, yes, at that
M
fiancee. We're getting married in M moment. I didn't want to hurt
three months. her.
w I must buy a hat. w You just weren't thinking.
Were. We were. Obviously we M I didn't think she'd find out.
M
can't now.
Wow. Okay. Well that's
And you loved her even when completely fine then. Obviously
w you were fucking me on my you loved her very much, it's just
sofa? at that particular moment,
M Yes. ejaculating was a little bit more
w
important to you than her sanity
You loved her when you were
w and wellbeing and now this is
coming inside me?
happening, a chain of events
M Yes.
which is going to culminate in
w Which is why you were with her the miracle of childbirth and it's
 Lungs
going to grow up and behave like
you and leave armies of sobbing
women puncturing themselves
alone in their rooms. Give me
your phone I want to talk to her.
M No.
I want to apologise to her. When
we had sex I thought how sad
you seemed, how lonely and
desperate and how much you
w missed me, how much I missed
you and how horrific this
two-dimensional idiot fiancee of
yours must be but I bet she's
lovely. I bet she's just extremely
nice.
Give me your phone.
M No.
This day this day this fucking
wedding day she's planned since
she put a napkin on a Barbie and
w now here I am, my fucking belly,
swelling by the minute, the
evidence that her entire world is
bullshit.
She'll probably off herself, be
one of those people under a
train, one of those station
announcements, I would, I
fucking would, I'd open up every
vein and write on the wall big
and red 'this is not a cry for
help'. Give me your phone.
M No.
How did I become this person? I
used to be a good person and
w now I'm evil. I'm actually evil.
Give me the phone, I'm serious,
I want to talk to her.
M That won't help.
w Give me the phone.
M No.
No you're probably right. I don't
w
think I'd handle it well.
I'm going to talk to her. Now.
M
Face to face.
Okay? I'm doing it.
 Lungs

under my ear, her ring

Can I come to yours once I've
seen her?
w good.

M Yeah,
w Why?
I suppose.
M Because I want to.
No she deserved to. She
And I'll have nowhere else to go. w
deserved to really fucking
w Okay but
M yeah.
can we just have a second?
Without talking. You and me.
w Cripple you.

M No, you're right.

You, me and the little speck
The ten thousand tonnes of CO, w For what you did.

waiting to be unleashed onto the M Yeah, but

planet.
should have cut your fucking
Just a second.
w
dick off.

The three of us. M Okay.

I must be insane. You clearly

w
can't be trusted.

M Okay. M

w You're bleeding.
w
you're clearly unable to overrule
your prick.
M She was upset.
M I'm not entirely to blame for
w And there was
yes actually yes fucking yes you
M kicking. Screaming. Hitting. w
fucking are, yes.
w Did she hurt you?
M It was both of us who
M Scratching. She caught me on,
w I'm not engaged to her.
 Lungs

M Nor am I now. M I just assumed.

w Touche. Well don't. T his is all just going

w at a hundred miles an hour and I
need a second to breathe.

No. If we think about it too

Touche. M
much we won't do it.

w Do what?

M T his. Now. Us.

So what now? We just what? Go
M Yes it's not the perfect
back to normal?
circumstances, but let's go into
w Normal? What normal? What? this with open arms. I love you.

M No, just Okay? I always have. When I'm

away from you I forget how to
w we're not a couple.
enjoy anything and when I'm
M Oh. with you I feel at home.
We're not
w We've never worked out how to
we're not going to be like be together without making each
M no, right. other feel a bit shit and I want to
find a way to not do that. You've
Not like before. We need to start
w got to stop being angry with me
fresh. If at all.
and I've got to stop giving you
I just
M reasons to be.
sorry, I thought
You've needed me to know what
I don't know you. You're a
to do. To know how I'm feeling
fucking stranger now. A fucking
w and to put it in the right words.
deceitful, immature evil little
You've needed me to grow up.
stranger.
So that's what's happening. I'm
 Lungs

putting it in the right words. I'm

growing up.

We're not going to overthink

I'll think about it.
this.

We're doing this.

We're going to get the books and

M Breathe in.
go to classes and work out how
to be parents. And we're going to w Okay.
grow old together and look back M Breathe.
on all this and laugh because it
w They're getting more frequent.
will seem like a different lifetime.
M Every few minutes.
And we'll have a conversation
and we'll just try to do the right w Get the keys.

thing. Because we're good M We're here.

people. Right?
w Don't leave me.
And we'll plant forests. I mean it.
M I'm right here.
We'll cycle everywhere. We'll
grow our own food if we have to.
w I'm scared.

We'll never take another plane. M You're so brave.

We'll just stay right here. And w Hurts.
we'll plant forests.
M I forgot the camera.

w Here it comes.

M He's so beautiful.
w Thank you.
w Let me hold him.
I needed to hear that.
M Of course.
 Lungs

w We're a family. M I know.

M I'm so tired. w Have you got your camera?

w It's your turn. M Let's get married.

M Shall I bring him in with us? w I do.

w He's got to wean. M We need to be prepared.

M I know. It won't be as bad as they're

w
w The books all say so. saying.

M Good marks all round. M He hasn't called.

w I'm so proud of him. w They've suspended all flights.

M I forgot my camera.
M It's so hot.

w There he goes. w The planet's fucked.

M Don't cry. M He looks so different.

He's never slept away from w He wants to help out.

w
home. M We're fine.

M We're going to be fine. w That's what I told him.

w You shouldn't let him see that. M It's a standard operation.

M I'll talk to him. w I know.

He needs to hear it from his M just goes with old age.

w
father. w He's going to drive you.
M Are we going up this weekend? M I'm going to be okay.
I just want to see him before he's
w I'm scared.
w off because, what with the world
M You're fine.
as it is,
w He's found me a home. They
 Lungs

have classes and things there. by. Change the flowers.

Art and things. It's nearer to him I don't know if I'll get much of a
so a long way from here. He gets chance to pop back here so
cross with me sometimes. You
know how he is. I think a lot of anyway.
people are angry at me. At us.
Those of us still around. I forget
more and more. I don't know
what they're so upset about. I love you.

I miss talking to you. Here I am

talking to myself.

Your forests have gone. I don't Lights out.

watch the news any more, it all

just gets worse and worse.

Everything's covered in ash. He

tells me to stop dusting. Snaps
at me.

I'm tired. Fed up.

But I'm okay. Listen to me
moaning on. It's a nice cool day
today, like we used to have.
Fresh air. No sirens. No noise.
Nothing.
It's good.

Anyway, I just thought I'd stop