Helicopter Parent

This is a term that have emerged recently which refers to a parent who have an interest in his or her
kid’s or children issues and experiences, especially in educational institutions such as primary,
secondary and tertiary institutional levels. The founders of the term were Jim Fay, Foster W. Celine
together with M.D. The three coined this term in 1990 when they wrote the book titled ‘Parenting with
Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility,’ albeit on the book ‘Between Parent and Teenager,’
Haim Ginott argues that his mother hovers over him like a helicopter. These parents are named so due
to the fact that, like choppers, they hover closely overhead, seldomly out of reach whether these
children want them or not. The term has other terms that are used to mean the same.

The synonym of this term in Scandinavia is curling parenthood which describes parents whose aim is to
clear all the obstacles that are on their children’s way. Also it is referred to as ‘overparenting,’ these
parents through all means try to solve their kid’s issues and keep their children out of any risk that might
befallen them. Recently they are referred to as ‘Lawnmower parents.’ This is a term that is used to mean
those parents who even after their children have graduated and gotten employed, smooth out and clear
all obstacles for their mature kids .

They can even reach a situation where they may want to know the matters relating to their children’s
places of work, that is, their promotions and salaries. The most interesting thing is that they do this even
after these children are independent and living their own lives. This meaning originated from some
college administrators and professors after observing how these children even after becoming mature
were being followed by their helicopter parents.

Little academic research concerning this phenomena, have been done. The term has widely been used in
the media as a pejorative expression for these parents. The three coiners of the term, that is, M.D, Jim
Fay and Foster W. Cline came with the term because they felt that this style of parenting was ineffective.
In 2000s the college administrators in America began to use this term as a new generation that is, the
millennial generation become old enough to join colleges.

They referred to these parents as Baby Boomer due to their practices of waking their children each
morning to go to class and complaining to their teachers about the grades that these children attained.
Some of these parents had also determined the colleges that they children would go and even hiring
cosultants to help the children in applying to be admitted to these colleges.

The explosion of this type of parenting can be attributed to the emergency of the mobile phone.
Professor Richard Mullendore termed it "the world's longest umbilical cord." This is because the
helicopter parents even after catering for their kids when they were young , continue following them
when they are adults. These parents on their parts say the reason why they are following their children
is because they are acting like any other consumer by protecting their investments against the risks.

In Britain, John O’Farrel in his novel "May Contain Nuts," explains how a Mother pretends to be her
daughter so that she can do her school entrance exams as she does not trust her enough to excel in her
exams. This novel illustrates how a parent wish to help his or her child succeed undermines the kid’s self-
esteem by preventing the child from gaining independence or facing the consequences of his or her own
deeds. The officials in this country due to the rising number of these types of parents, have been
suggesting alterations in their policies concerning the process of university applications.

In America there is a website called ‘Collegeconfidential’ that offers venues for parents to get involved in
the application process of their children’s college. Also it includes the discussions of helicopter parenting.
The parents in this website debate the issues concerned with their children such as if it is good to help an
adult child choose the classes to take in the university. Whether they should expect to resolve issues
such as text book availability or roommate issues and even whether to get involved in their children
decisions on whether to pursue further education on Master’s and Doctorate degree programs.

Sociologists have carried studies concerning this issue. For example, Annette Lareau a sociological
ethnographer, studied the phenomena of helicopter parenting for a couple of years. She has recently
studied the dependency effects of this phenomenon in childbearing. She used two different families in her
study, one with a little girl that was a middle class family and the other with a little boy which was poor.
She named this book ‘Unequal Childhoods’ that she published in 2003.

According to this book a boy was raised in the method she called; Natural Growth Method while the girl
was raised in the method that she called Concerted Cultivation Method or helicopter parenting. The
Natural Growth Method is a type of childrearing that gives a child social freedom without parental
constraints. On the other hand, Concerted Cultivation Method is a form of childrearing that a parent has
an interest on his or her child’s experiences. She looked at these two types of children abilities’ to become
mature successfully and their interactions with the administration.

The girl, raised in middle class family through helicopter method, had a superiority complex when she
became an adult. This was due to the fact that her parents brought her up with an ideology that she
deserved anything that she requested. So, this girl grew up feeling a sense of entitlement and to question
the authority. The boy on the other hand, raised in the Natural Growth Method had respect as we can see
that his parents taught him to obey them and elders, even if they told him to do the opposite of what was
expected by the society. This boy grew up with a mentality that he must obey the authority no matter his
own view concerning certain situation. Due to superiority complex, the girl was sarcastic to the authority
as she believed she was superior to those who were in authority.

The boy would act to the authority in a submissive manner based on how he was brought up by his
parents. But in sometimes this boy would become violent to the authority due to pacification that would
cause him to feel aggression towards this authority. This boy grows up to be independent of himself in
everyway as he has the courage of making decisions without involving his parents. The girl on the other
hand is different as she can not make any decision of herself as she is dependent on her parents. The
author explains the limitations of helicopter parenting as it leads children to become dependent when they
become adults. This is due to the fact that it prevents the natural neurological processes that aid us to
grow into adulthood. This type of parenting, interfere with the brain maturation process that prevents any
child from thinking for himself or herself.

Therefore, basing our arguments on this book, it is true to say that the social class position of any family
matters a lot in the development of any child. We have seen that children brought up through helicopter
style are different from those brought up through the Natural Method. The ones that are brought up
through the helicopter parenting face the risk of not becoming successful because of their inability to
handle challenges as they come. They will develop the character of nagging hence they will always show
immaturity in dealing with every challenge.
In addition, these children will lack criticality and creativity in thinking. They will not have a quality of
individuality that is imperative for one to become a self thinker. The lack of creativity and criticality in their
thinking poses a major risk to our institutions as they require people who are independent in thinking so
that the decisions they make are free from biasness. Given that our institutions will be run by people who
were brought up through helicopter parenting, they are not going to perform as per the standards. This
will lead to our economy lagging behind in development. So, helicopter parenting should be discouraged
as it produces individuals who are less useful to the modern world.

References

O'Farrell, John (2005). May Contain Nuts. USA:Doubleday.

 Cline, Foster W.; Fay, Jim (1990). Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. Pinon Press.
pp. 23–25. ISBN 0-89109-311-7

Lareau, A. (2003). Unequal childhoods: class, race, and family life. Berkeley: University of California.

PresArmour, Stephanie (2007-04-23). "'Helicopter' parents hover when kids job hunt". USA Today. Retrieved 2007-
06-05.s

Skenazy, Lenore (2009). Free Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had without Going Nuts with Worry.
Jossey Bass. pp. 256. ISBN 978-0470471944.