IZZY

So I found out my mum was dead on Twitter. Which wasn't you know great. Yeah.
It was about ten-thirty on a Friday morning and I was just printing off some stuff for a
client workshop at eleven and the printer was being just ​you fucking​ you know? And
then out of absolutely nowhere there was just this massive massive bang it was even
like a ​sound​ it was just this I don't even know the word this pure ​violence​. And I
guess I must have been knocked down by the blast because I realised I was on the
floor so I got up and I was deaf like my ears were underwater and I looked up and all
the windows of the office were broken and I was just like shit and people were
bleeding from the broken glass covered in dust and everybody was just ​shocked​ kind
of isn't the word they were like really ​wired​ and breathing really fast and just acting
strange and shaking and and this one woman was screaming so me and this other
girl tried to calm her down. And everybody wanted to get the fuck out of the office run
for the hills you know but the facilities guys were all like Stay Where You Are It's Not
Safe to Leave the Building. And part of me was like fuck that who listens to the
facilities​ guys? Wearing a yellow Day-Glo fucking ​tabard​ doesn't make you the King
of the World you pompous megalomaniac fuck-stick cunts but part of me knew they
were probably right so I brushed the glass off my desk by now I was sort of on
autopilot you know trying to re-normalise my situation. And I sat there at my desk
covered in dust and glass trying to do the deep breathing from my yoga but it wasn't
helping in the ​slightest​ and so I did what millions of other people were probably doing
that exact moment I googled 'Explosion London' and pretty much within two seconds
I just found this photo of well this woman lying face down in the street in this pool of
she was in a really bad way like the bottom half of her was just gone sorry.
That was like five minutes after it happened. She was outside the Space. NK
apothecary on the New King's Road. And all the hair on my arms was standing up
because I was like it fucking ​can't​ be. But in my heart I knew it was. And the one
thing I'll always my first reaction wasn't grief or it was ​disgust. ​Which I'm so
unbelievably ashamed about. Thinking that. About my mum.