Aim to become socially functional, rather than 100

percent assured at all times

After you accept that you’re still going to encounter some social unease from

time to time, your aim should be to become socially functional, where even if

you’re nervous or self-doubting, you can still meet your goals. Don’t put your

social life on hold until you wipe all shyness from your mind, because that will

never happen. A key part of being functional is to realize you can be shy,

nervous, or insecure during a social event and still function and ultimately enjoy

yourself.

Socializing while experiencing a case of the jitters

When people struggle with social anxiety, they sometimes look at their

discomfort in either–or terms when they’re deciding whether to attend a gettogether.

They think if they’re not completely confident and relaxed, then they

have to skip it. If nerves strike when they’re with people, they think the whole

outing is ruined.

You can get through most social situations with some self-doubt or jitters. If

your nerves or insecurities are mild, they may not interfere with your outward

performance at all. Even if they trip you up a little, they won’t fully ruin the

interaction. Only the most extreme, sustained anxiety will do that. A

conversation can easily be a success, even if you trembled or had trouble putting

your thoughts together at the beginning of it.

When looking back at an outing, how nervous or unsure you were at the time

becomes even less important. If you get nervous in crowds but go to see your

favorite band anyway, five years from now you’ll be happy you went a