33 Ways to Break into Hollywood

Most people feel that producers are unapproachable and even if you get in touch with one, they'll
refuse to hear your pitch.

And they're right...with one exception that you can use to break into this business.

That exception is the High Concept script.

If you call a producer and give a long meandering character-piece pitch, chances are the
conversation will end right there. But if you pitch a single-sentence High Concept, you have a
50% chance they'll listen to you and a 30% chance they'll request the script. That's quite a claim,
so let me back it up with logic.

First, what is a High Concept? A true High Concept has three components:

A. The concept can be told in one sentence

and you immediately see the movie.

B. It is unique in a significant way.

C. It appeals to a wide audience.

Why is this so important to a producer? Because High Concepts are easier to sell to Studios,
easier to get financing for, and easier to market to the movie-going public. So a High Concept
translates into Box Office success. When a producer hears a High Concept, they hear money.

If you don't have a High Concept, don't worry. There are 32 other strategies that can help you
market your script. But for your next script, seriously consider brainstorming a High Concept
before you start writing. It will give you a strong advantage in the marketplace and it will make
you much more attractive to do business with.

Conquering The High Concept

by James Bonnet

In Hollywood and New York, the concept is king. To succeed as a writer or filmmaker, you
need more than a skillfully constructed novel or beautifully directed film. You need an idea
that will be talked about, generates excitement and compels the right people to get involved.
A great idea, as it turns out, has an anatomy and a structure and that which makes a subject
fascinating, a title intriguing, or an idea exciting can be described and learned. Understanding
the HIGH CONCEPT is the key to accomplishing that.

But what is a HIGH CONCEPT?

Simply put, a high concept is an intriguing idea that can be stated in a few words and is easily
understood by all. An asteroid the size of Texas is hurtling toward the earth. That’s a high
concept. Everyone knows exactly what that means. It arouses an emotional response and in
just eleven words, everyone knows what the movie is about. Doomsday.
Creating a high concept implies an ability to formulate your idea in its most powerful and
concise form – to make it as short and as marvelous as possible. The fewer the words the
higher the concept. Jack Nicholson is the Wolfman. The movie didn’t turn out well, but it was a
great idea – a very effective high concept.

Now, is this idea of a high concept something the studios cooked up to stifle art and increase
profits? Obviously. But does it also have merit? I think it has merit. Whether you plan to
create highly visible, commercial films like those created by Jerry Bruckheimer, James
Cameron, and Steven Spielberg or highly acclaimed stories like The Sixth Sense, Ordinary
People, or Harry Potter, I think it is important.

For one thing, being able to reduce your idea into something powerful that can be expressed
in a few words forces you to come to terms with what the story is really about. In other words,
to create a true high concept, you not only have to understand all of the important structural
elements, you have to get at the very essence of your story.

In the second place, it is valuable shorthand that can help facilitate communication. If your
project is going to be sold to, or financed by, a major production company or publisher, then
the idea not only has to be intriguing, it has to be brief. It has to move easily through the
chain of command – and make everyone who hears it eager to listen to your pitch, read your
script, or look at your film. Then after they’ve heard it or read it and loved it, they have to be
able to explain it to others in the chain and intrigue them.

If the idea is so complicated that it is difficult to explain or understand, it will never get
through the chain of command. The people at the top may never hear it. It can get lost in the
translation.

In the 70's there was a very popular 90 minute TV show called MacMillan and Wife, which
starred Rock Hudson and Susan Saint James. Steven Bochco, whom you’ve no doubt heard of
because of shows like NYPD Blue, was the story editor. Julie Epstein introduced me to the
Executive Producer, Leonard Stern, who referred me to Bochco. Bochco had never seen my
work and had no idea what I could do. We had a meeting, discussed a couple of ideas, but
nothing happened.

Then one day, while I was in my kitchen making some coffee, a thought popped into my head
– and on an impulse I called Bochco.

“What’ve you got?” he asked, after the usual amenities.

“Susan gets lost in the Bermuda Triangle.”

“I love it,” he said. “I’ll get back to you.”

Ten minutes later he called me back and said: “I hope you can write. You’ve got a deal.”

Now, as it turned out, Bochco had called the producer, who loved it and told Bochco to call
their contact at NBC. Bochco called the contact and the contact called his superior, and pitched
it to him. Then the contact called Bochco back and Bochco called me. All within less than ten
minutes.

It was the highest paying show on television, and at that moment, “Susan gets lost in the
Bermuda Triangle” was the sum total of what I knew about that story idea.

The high concept is an important part of both the beginning and the end of the process. In the
beginning, it is a powerful seed that can help you both create and sell your story. At the end
of the process, it is the face you will put on the story when you try to market it. It’s what the
public will see on the book jacket or movie poster. And here again, your mission has to be
accomplished in very few words. So what we’re talking about is going to be useful in both the
front and the back ends. And it would be nice to know up front that you have a concept that
can be marketed.

There are four elements that can help you accomplish this goal –

The FASCINATING SUBJECT,

The GREAT TITLE,
The INCITING ACTION, which is the problem of your story, and
The HOOK, which reveals the uniqueness or special circumstances of your story.
What is a FASCINATING SUBJECT? A fascinating subject is just that, a subject that is in itself
intriguing. The story arouses our interest just because of the subject. That’s a tremendous
asset.

Not long ago, I walked into a bookstore. I walked past the first table and a book caught my
eye. I walked another 20 steps, stopped and went back. The title that caught my eye was:
Cleopatra’s Secret Diaries. The thought of learning the intimate secrets of one of the world’s
most famous lovers was very intriguing to me.

What are some of the other subjects that have worked in the past? Demonic possession,
money, sex, power, dinosaurs, UFOs, scandalous love affairs, serial killers, extra terrestrials,
cloning, survivors, eternal youth -- I’m sure you can think of many others.

Some of my favorites are: justice, immortality, mysteries and mummies. Give me a mystery in
a pyramid and it can be Indiana Jones, Brendon Fraser, or Donald Duck, and I’m hooked. I
can’t resist it.
So it’s important to find the subjects that really fascinate you and will fascinate the audience
you are trying to reach. In any event, it’s helpful if your story is about something that is in
itself intriguing.

Finding the fascinating subject is one of the things that forces you to discover what the story
is really about.

What is a GREAT TITLE? A great title is a title that not only tells you what the story is about –
what the fascinating subject is -- it reveals the genre, which is to say, it whets your appetite
for the type of feelings associated with that genre. The feelings associated with a thriller, a
mystery, a love story, an adventure, and so on. Each of these different genres evoke a
different emotional adventure.

Magic is a good subject. Merlin is a good title for a story with that subject because Merlin is
associated with that event.

Doomsday is another popular subject. Armageddon is a good title for that subject. We
immediately know it’s about the end of the world and all of the activities and feelings related
to that event.

Catastrophes. What better title than: Titanic?

Lost civilizations. Atlantis says it all.

Murder. And this is one of my favorites: The Black Widow – not a great movie but a great title.

Some other good titles are: Shakespeare in Love. I’m interested. The Perfect Murder. I saw it.
The Sixth Sense, Roswell, ER, Kiss the Girls, Along Came a Spider, Star Wars, Gladiator,
Jurassic Park, The Mummy, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I bought it.

The words of a good title are words like Titanic, Roswell, and The Sixth Sense that have come
to be associated with significant events of a particular subject. And it helps the audience
identify the type of emotional experience they can expect.

Finding a great title forces you to discover the subject and the genre -- the source of the
feelings experienced by the audience. You know it’s a great title when it tells you everything
desirable to know up front. When you find a great title, it hits you like a revelation. You get
very excited. And if you have a great title and a fascinating subject, you are half way there.

The third element is the INCITING ACTION. The inciting action is the onset or the cause of the
problem. It is the cause of the action. It is the reason action has to be taken.

An asteroid the size of Texas is about to collide with the earth. Action has to be taken. It has
to be destroyed or diverted.
A serial killer is loose in the neighborhood. Action has to be taken. He has to be caught.
A baby is left on a doorstep. It has to be properly cared for.
An invading army has to be confronted and defeated.
An erupting volcano has to be escaped from.
A man-eating shark has to be destroyed.
A raging fire has to be put out.
A terrible disease has to be cured, and so on.
You will know it is an inciting action if action has to be taken -- if there is a problem and
something has to be done about it – NOW.

Finding the inciting action forces you to come to terms with the problem of your story. And
stories are about problems. It is a prerequisite in all stories. You have a problem and that
problem is resolved. It is one of the essences of story – that without which there would be no
story. No matter how big or small the story, it will be focusing on a problem. And everyone in
that story will somehow be involved in that incident. And everything everyone does in that
story will in some way effect the outcome of that incident.

Revealing how that problem was created and how it can be resolved is at the heart and soul of
a story.

The HOOK is a unique aspect of the problem which suggests intriguing possibilities. It is a
special circumstance surrounding the problem that raises the stakes and increases our
interest.

Susan gets lost, not in the mall but in the Bermuda Triangle.
A volcano erupts, not in the desert but in the middle of the city.
A baby is left on the doorstep, not of a kindly nanny but of three bachelors.
Star-crossed lovers meet, not at a church social but on the Titanic.
A woman is kidnapped and her husband refuses to pay the ransom.
Satan takes possession of a teen-age girl.

The hook implies a difficulty which makes the threat more dangerous and intriguing.

In Fatal Attraction, a successful lawyer has an affair, not with your average “other woman” but
with a beautiful psychopath.

Finding the hook forces you to come to terms with what is unique about your story. It is the
unique aspect which will make the idea fresh. You identify the problem and emphasize the
difficulty.

So these are the four elements. The fascinating subject, the great title, the inciting action and
the hook. All of which can be expressed in a few words. And if you are going to create a high
concept or a great idea, you’ll find these four elements very useful.
The idea here is that you can create a super powerful seed working with these elements. A
seed that will not only help you create a great story, it will help you sell it on the front and
back ends.

James Bonnet http://www.storymaking.com is the author of Stealing Fire From The Gods: A
Dynamic New Story Model For Writers And Filmmakers. He was elected twice to the Board of
Directors of the Writers Guild of America and has written or acted in more than forty television
shows and features. For the last twenty years he has been the director of Astoria Filmwrights,
a research project studying all the significant story models and theories about story from
around the world and their connection to the creative process, screenwriting, storymaking and
film. His seminar, James Bonnet’s Storymaking, The Master Class, is the culmination of this
work and reveals the breakthrough “unified” theory of the origin and nature of story. This new
knowledge is not available anywhere else and is relevant no matter what kind of story, true or
fiction, you want to create for whatever medium.

Concept is Everything When You Pitch!

by Hal Croasmun

You're about to start another screenplay. You've got a new character or scene idea
and you want to jump right to the fun part - the writing. Already dialogue and
settings are springing to mind. Other characters are joining this one and the conflict
is brewing.

Before you write this script, consider one thing - Is the concept marketable?

Why think about that now?

Because you are about three to six months away from presenting this script to an agent,
manager, or producer and marketability is going to be the first thing on their mind. Even more
important, most of your power as a writer depends upon whether you have marketable
concepts or not.

Let me illustrate this with a phone call my wife made when we first arrived in Hollywood six
years ago.

MARKETABLE CONCEPTS IN ACTION

At the time, we were making cold calls to producers and agents. I had created a High Concept
script that could be pitched in a 3 word logline.

PRODUCER: Blah Blah entertainment

CHERYL: Hi there, I'd like to send a query and wondering who to send it to and how
I should send it.
PRODUCER: We don't accept unsolicited materials. Was this referred by somebody?
CHERYL: It's a feature script. It's a (3 word logline.)
PRODUCER: Like I said, we don't accept...It's a (3 word logline)?
CHERYL: Right.
PRODUCER: That's interesting. Okay, let me get you a submission form. What's
your fax number?

There it is. Just like most writers, we got the dreaded "NO UNSOLICITED MATERIAL
ACCEPTED!" But add a High Concept to the equation and suddenly, we're in the door.

Out of 40 producers (all with deals with a studio), 35 of them accepted the query
letter and gave us a specific person to deal with on the call back. Of the 35, more
than 20 of them requested the script.

All of the calls were unsolicited. At the time, we didn't have representation. So, why
did they violate their own policy? Because we offered something more valuable than
the policy - a HIGH CONCEPT.

WHAT IS A HIGH CONCEPT?

When a studio or production company refers to a High Concept, they mean a story
idea that has all three of these components:

1. It is unique.
2. It appeals to a wide audience.
3. It can be said in one sentence and...you instantly see the whole movie.

The combination of "unique, wide audience, and a single sentence" make a movie easier to sell
to the movie-going public. So a producer has a much better chance of selling the project
to a Studio and of getting a greenlight to make the movie. And they have a better
chance of getting distribution. For those three reasons, a highly marketable concept
is very attractive to producers.

But what about agents?

Three times, an agent directly told us "no," but changed their mind when they heard
the concept of the script. Why? Because agents are all about making money for their
clients and themselves. They want writers who will generate commissions. That
means they need writers who can create marketable projects.

Ultimately, High Concepts make the writer attractive. You are giving them diamonds
instead of coal. You are communicating that you are someone they NEED to do
business with. With a single decision (the choice of your concept), you are putting yourself in
a position of power instead of weakness.

WHERE DO MARKETABLE CONCEPTS COME FROM?

If you're going to spend 6 months to one year writing a script, isn't it worth spending
a week coming up with the most marketable concept before you go to all that effort?
As you saw in the calls above, a marketable concept can work magic in Hollywood.

Screenplay concepts can come from many areas - a conflict you encounter, an issue
you believe in, a character that haunts you, a news item, or one of a hundred other
places. The concept you choose for your scripts is usually one of the first decisions
you make and from a marketing perspective, it can be one of the most important.

When I asked Cheryl, she said "A lot of writers think high concept and great
character pieces are in opposition to each other. But what if you had the ability to
create both great characters and a high concept? You'd be one of the most wanted
writers in Hollywood."

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Since I believe creating a marketable concept is essential to our success as

screenwriters, I've analyzed many marketable concepts and outlined a variety of
strategies for creating high concepts. Here, let's watch a marketing concept as it is
being created. Imagine this thought process as you read the steps a writer may have
gone through to create this idea.

Basic Idea: Police use a criminal to catch another criminal.

Take to extreme: Police use an incarcerated serial killer to catch a serial killer who
kidnaps and skins young women.

Special Character Relationship: A cannibalistic psychiatrist helps an innocent/new

female FBI agent.

Marketable Concept: While on the trail of a psychopath who skins young girls, a
brand new female FBI agent enlists the help of a brilliant, but cannibalistic
psychiatrist, who gets into her mind and plays psychotic games with her head.

Title: "The Silence of The Lambs" named after the FBI agent's biggest fear.

So this movie idea used 2 of the 12 High Concept formats that are presented in the
program "High Concepts Sell: Creating Marketable Screenplay Ideas." But those two
were enough to build an amazing movie around.

Obviously, this is a simplified version of what happens in the creation of a

marketable concept. In truth, a marketable concept may just pop into your mind if
you ask one of these questions or it may take months of brainstorming. Our
experience has been that you can usually come up with four or five marketable
concepts within a weekend just by using this and the other techniques designed for
creating movie concepts.

Now take a serious look at your script idea. Is it marketable?

If it is, you can enjoy every moment of writing it, knowing that it will increase your
chances of having a successful career in Hollywood.

Soon, I'll be hearing buzz about you.

Questions Every Producer Has

It's your turn at a pitch-fest. Face-to-face with a representative

from a major production company. You've got 5 minutes to pitch
someone who can make the miracle happen.

You introduce yourself and find out that you're sitting across from
the Director of Development. Excellent! Now, before you start
pitching her, there's one thing you really need to know.

What questions are on her mind

as she listens to your pitch?

Why is this so important? After all, you're the one doing the
pitching and they can't possibly know about your story until you
tell them.

Here's why. Much of a production company's success depends

upon their selection of projects. From day-one, a new employee
is trained on the criteria for project selection. Every day, they
pitch projects to their bosses and are constantly coached on
whether or not they made the right choice.

Because of that, some version of these questions are constantly

on their mind. The more you understand about what matters to
a production company exec, the better your chances of getting in
the door.

So here's a few of the unspoken questions that will be running

through their mind as you talk.
A. Is the concept marketable?

Any Hollywood production company is constantly concerned with

how well their movies do at the box office. A big portion of whether
a movie succeeds comes from the concept. Great concept = easier
marketing.

Of course, other factors fit in. Some of those are addressed in the
questions below. But if the concept isn't marketable, it is very hard
to justify any further action. So this is usually the first question on
their mind.

B. Does the story fit our market?

The majority of production companies have very specific markets

they work in: feature, TV movie or mini-series, animated kids TV,
straight-to-DVD, etc.

In their specific market, they may specialize in one or two sub-

markets. In children's animated TV, one company may work
exclusively with pre-school and another may work with the 5 - 10
year old market. Inside that, one company may focus only on boys
shows and another on girls.

Also, they may have budget restrictions. Anyway, the point is this,
they're all listening to your story to see if it fits their market.

C. Does this story inspire me to spend two years making the movie?

This is a personal thing. Do they fall in love with the story? This
has become more important as it has become so hard to make a
movie. I've heard many producers say "If I'm going to die for a
movie, it had better be one I love."

D. Can I justify why I believe this project will make money?

Yes, that's right. Money plays a big part in the decision to make
a movie. When $5 million to $100 million go into making a movie,
you can bet that there's going to be a lot of people justifying the
decision. Here's a small list of who may have to justify your
project...
An assistant has to justify it to the producer.
The producer justifies it to the Studio executive.
The Studio executive justifies it to their Senior VP.
The Senior VP justifies it to the CEO or Executive team.
The CEO may need to justify it to the Board of Directors

That means anyone listening to your pitch is constantly trying to

figure out how they'll justify this decision to the next level up. And
if they can't, they pass.

E. Can I use the project to lure talent and financing?

This is another key question. Does this story have a part that will
get Tom Cruise or Cameron Diaz or some other A-list actor to sign
on? Many times, a bankable actor is the primary requirement to
secure financing for a movie. So those lead parts need to be
amazing.

F. Am I going to get fired over this project?

I'm not joking. The fear of being fired for making a bad decision
is a big thing in this business. Especially at the Studios. Turnover
is huge in this business. So a project may be more than a financial
risk for your Director of Development, it may be a career risk.

Every producer knows that "You're only as good as your last project,"
which means that if you make a bad movie, you may not get back
in that studio door for many years. So even producers worry about
how a "bad project" will affect their future.

Now you know the most common questions they have. So the next
time you pitch someone, you'll probably see the wheels turning in
their head and suddenly realize exactly what they're thinking. And
if that happens, you can provide an answer to their question.

Who knows, knowing their unspoken question may be the key to

making the deal. At minimum, you'll feel more comfortable as you
pitch and you'll come across as professional. So next time you're
preparing to pitch someone, keep these questions in mind and
you'll have a better chance at success.

WHAT'S IT TAKE TO WIN?

For winners of the big contests, Hollywood doors open magically and suddenly, your work is
considered, read, and sometimes even bought. It can be a dream come true. Even the
medium sized or smaller contests offer some industry exposure and bragging rights. But with
500 - 5,000 entries, the competition is fierce.

Before we discuss what it takes to win, let's hear from two of our contest winners who both
took First Prize in well-known contests. This is what it is like when you win.

"You get up to 100 requests for your script, your name in the
trades, and you are the flavor of the week. The Academy pays
all your expenses to fly you to LA for a week. They put you up
at a great hotel. You go to fancy dinners and casual lunches at
the Academy itself. Agents, producers, managers, other writers,
will come speak to you at the Academy and be there to answer
your questions. It is a magical week…an incredible experience."

Patricia (Pooks) Burroughs

Winner Nicholl 2001
http://www.patriciaburroughs.com

"Winning this contest has helped me build a new level of

confidence - I feel that it's an outside endorsement that I do
have writing talent. And I get requests for reads when I queried
people with the words "Read Screamfest's "Best Horror
Screenplay" Winner."

Jami Deise
Winner "Best Horror Screenplay"
Screamfest, 2002

Winning a contest takes you one step closer to the possibility of selling a script. It validates
your talent and provides credibility when you speak with agents or producers. It can also be
evidence you call upon during tough times that you are doing the right thing. And that can
keep you in the game when others give up.

That's the good news.

WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?

Sadly enough, most screenwriters have little knowledge of the contests they're entering or
what strategies will work best for them. Some are just tossing the dice and hoping a fluke will
get them a prize. Listen to what the Chairman of one contest said about scripts sent to
contests:
 "The vast majority are uninteresting, derivative, poorly
executed, and/or unprofessional in their presentation."

Jim Shea
Chairman of Producer's Outreach
http://www.ScriptWritersNetwork.com

So we went in search of a solution.

After many years of creating "Expert Models" for Fortune 500 corporations, I'm fully convinced
that if one person can accomplish something, others can…if they gain the necessary
experience, understand what the "expert" does, and takes the correct actions.

Our panel of experts includes winners, readers, and contest administrators from contests like
Nicholl, Austin, Final Draft and other contests. Understanding their perspectives on contests
can give you an advantage in preparing your script and creating strategies to win. Quotes
from those interviews are in this article and are the basis for an extensive report called "51
Tips For Winning Contests" which you can get free below.

If you're new to contests, this is a rare chance to get advice from those who have been
behind-the-scenes and know what causes success in contests. Let's start with the reader.

WHAT DOES A READER WANT IN A SCRIPT?

Some people speak harshly about readers, as if they are the enemy, but listen to what they
really want as they open your script.

"My strongest wish when I sit down with each script is that
"This is the winning script. I found it. I helped it climb."

Paula Hamilton
Second Round Reader
Austin Heart of Film Screenwriting Contest

I've been a reader before and I know Paula is telling the truth. You want a script that blows
you away, takes you on a journey, and that you can feel proud recommending. Those are a
joy to read. But they only happen when the writer does a great job on screenwriting basics.

"Each time I open a new screenplay, I hope to be surprised by a

truly well-written script. I hope to be impressed by a script
which includes all of these qualities: competent script-writing;
craftsmanship that signals a serious writer; real talent in the
 writer's ability to make me care, laugh, cry or cringe; and
freshness of voice and imagination."

Elizabeth A. Stevens
Reader for Final Draft competition,
Fortis Films, Bel-Air Entertainment and others.

While there are flukes where a great script gets denied because of a reader's personal taste or
some other system problem, in most cases, there is a huge difference between the finalists
and the majority of the other scripts.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES THEM SO SUCCESSFUL?

If you haven't read or judged for a contest, it is hard to know the level your script needs to be
at to win. Without this experience, most people are just shooting in the dark when sending in
their scripts. Maybe some of our panelists can shed some light on this.

"The difference between finalists and the vast majority, is an

engaging story, told well versus something that fails to hold
your interest. That means hooking the reader with an exciting,
unique premise, engrossing characters, an escalating tension,
leading to an apparent defeat, an unpredictable twist to a do-
or-die effort (usually doing the thing he least wants to do) to
overcome his flaw, and achieve his goal in an emotionally
satisfying resolution."

Jim Shea
Chairman of Producer's Outreach
http://www.ScriptWritersNetwork.com

We're talking about the basics of what needs to be in a good script. And if you do them well,
you'll deliver an experience to the reader that they won't forget.

"One particular screenplay that I read and loved was about a

female James Bond type hero. She was sexy, funny and
exciting. She leaped off the page. I could picture her, the
situations, and action sequences. We were only given the first
30 pages to read in this round and this was the only screenplay
out of 50 I had read where I wanted to read the rest of it."

Patrice Williams
Reader - Carl Sautter Competition
Did you see that? One out of fifty scripts caused her to want to read past page 30. Believe it
or not, that's typical. So many people just throw a first draft or a "work-in-progress" at a
contest and hope for luck to be on their side. But there's a better way. You've heard the
saying "luck is when preparation meets opportunity?"

What if you write and prepare your script so well that can compete with that 1-out-of-50?
That's what it takes to win. Remember, if a contest has 4,000 entries, then there are eighty of
those 1-out-of-fifty scripts you're competing against.

HOW DO YOU PREPARE YOUR SCRIPT TO WIN?

To be a finalist in most contests, you need to be in the top 5% or better. To win, you need to
be the best out of all the entries. It is important that your script is exceptional and that
requires serious preparation.

"I prepare by following the eight rules of screenwriting: Writing

is Rewriting, Writing is Rewriting, Writing is Rewriting, Writing is
Rewriting, etc.. Naturally, I also had a lot of critiques along the
way. My advice is to look around for inexpensive critiques. A
hundred bucks spent here or there isn't much but it has really
helped all four of my scripts."

Jack Bennett
Winner eShay's 2002 Screenwriting Contest
Wisconsin TV Pilot Contest, 2002

"Information is power. So before entering, it is essential that

your script be read and evaluated by someone within the
industry who can give you some frank feedback. It you vet your
script in advance through a good coverage or script consultation
service, you can potentially identify and eliminate many of your
script's weak points.

One place to get good, yet free, feedback is the new Helium
screenplay peer review site, http://www.heliumpeerreview.com.
Users give and receive critiques to and from other
screenwriters. The feedback I've received there has been
outstanding, and extremely helpful. And it's free (for now, at
least). You can't beat it."

Al LaSorte
Grand Prize Winner
 Fade In Screenwriting Awards 2002

"The script is ready when no stone has been left unturned and
I'm satisfied, and the consultants I use say they think it's ready
too. Submission criteria are the same as for submission to a
studio or producer."

Sean Rooney
Winner, Breckenridge Screenplay Competition 1998

These writers are contest winners. They've done their homework. They've had critiques,
consultations, and been through other contests. In some cases, they've had actors do public
reads of their scripts or taken it through a writing group. They know that winning a script
takes a high level of writing and their commitment was paid off with first place wins.

SELECTING YOUR CONTESTS?

How you select your contests can also make a difference in your results. Of course, the
smaller contests are easier, but they don't provide the status and credibility that the larger
contests provide. However, smaller contests may still provide such things as:

 Industry exposure
 Critiques
 Prizes
 Publicity
 Attendance at festivals
 Public reads of your script

Think strategically when you select a contest. You may want to go for the smaller contests to
get some of the benefits they offer and to get a few successes under your belt before tackling
one of the "big four."

"The reason I entered the eShay contest was because, number

one, you only sent in ten pages. (If you advance they ask for
the whole script) Number two, it was only $25, and number
three, most importantly, they critiqued the ten pages whether
you advanced or not."

Jack Bennett
Winner eShay's 2002 Screenwriting Contest
Wisconsin TV Pilot Contest, 2002
Go to http://www.moviebytes.com for a list of contests, then check their Web sites for
specifics. If you're worried about how reputable the contest is, Moviebytes.com also has report
cards on each contest that are filled out by last year's contestants.

"You have to know your contest. The type of scripts that win at
Nicholl aren't necessarily the same type that win at Austin.
There are more contests opening every day, but just because a
contest is small or new, doesn't mean that it's not worth
entering (but sometimes it does... do your research). Genre-
specific contests, like Cinescape or Screamfest, are good for
scripts that are sometimes looked over in the bigger contests.

Nicholl-winning scripts are in the Academy library... if you have

your heart set on this contest, you have to read these scripts.
Read the report cards at Moviebytes.com. When you've decided
which contests to enter, enter early! If you get your script in
before the tidal wave of scripts, the judges tend to be a little
more generous."

Jami Deise
Winner "Best Horror Screenplay"
Screamfest, 2002

Remember, the larger contests bring status and respect in the industry, but the competition is
fierce. The smaller contests have less contestants and give you a better chance of winning.
Often, they provide other benefits that may make them a valuable choice for your
screenwriting career.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO WIN?

There are many different opinions on what it takes to win. Here are a few that will be helpful.
We'll start with the "don'ts" and move to the "dos."

"The scripts that stand out are those that not only have an
intriguing story with characters that are whole, but ones in
which the screenwriter worked to make every scene count.
When a reader goes through a script, that script should be so
well written that the reader is never pulled 'out' of the story.
When that happens and it happens frequently, the spell is often
broken." Second Round

Paula Hamilton
 Reader Austin Heart of Film
Screenwriting Contest

When Paula refers to being "pulled out of the story," she's talking about writers who do things
that distracts the reader. Things like giving camera directions, typos, improper formatting,
confusing description and a host of other written distractions. When they read your
screenplay, they should be so involved in the story that they forget to eat.

If you give a camera direction, it requires that they visualize a camera and a director, maybe
even a movie set with thirty crew members scurrying around. That's distracting! And from a
writer's point of view, it is a bad marketing move. Do you want them saying "Wow! That story
was amazing." Or do you want them saying "Here's an amateur who couldn't write well
enough." It is the same with scripts with music direction. As a writer, you need to write so well
that the story is better than the music you're suggesting…and then leave the music out.
Otherwise, you'll have a reader or judge (who is also a producer looking for screenplays
without music listed) thinking about whether the script can be made if that specific music isn't
available. You don't want that.

"The ones that make the finals are ones that have been written,
re-written and re-written again. They have created compelling
characters, situations and ideas. The ones that don't make it
are run of the mill stories, poor formatting, no knowledge of
structure, development or compelling story-telling."

Patrice Williams
Reader - Carl Sautter Competition

Ah, the need for the basics. Don't waste time trying to do cute or tricky writing. Instead, focus
on mastering the basics. If you don't want to worry about formatting, get screenwriting
software that will take care of the formatting for you. If you don't understand structure, read
"STORY" by Robert McKee. If you're not sure how to tell your story in a compelling way,
consider the classes we offer at ScriptForSale.com.

The entire story, the plot and the main characters are on the
first few pages of exceptional scripts. The title is catchy. We are
hooked by page 5. The story is unique or has an unusual angle,
great characters, and the promise of an interesting read. The
script is cinematic, and is told visually. It has a satisfying
ending. There are few if any typos, spelling and punctuation
errors.

Elizabeth English
 Founder & Executive Director
Moondance International Film Festival

Read that quote again. Do people say those things about your scripts? Do they say "great
title" when you tell them the name? Do they keep reading past page 10 or 30? Do they rave
about your characters? Are they excited by the ending? If so, you're close. In fact, you may be
there. If not, there is still room for improvement.

"What makes exceptional scripts stand out? It is either an

unforgettable character or a really unique story, or the
combination of those two things. If I find myself, later, thinking
about how a character seemed alive and real, that's
exceptional. If I find myself remembering an amazing situation
or scenario that a writer dreamed up, that's exceptional.

Elizabeth A. Stevens
Reader for Final Draft competition
Fortis Films,Bel-Air Entertainment and others.

This is the level that wins contests. Unforgettable. Unique. Exceptional. Amazing. When your
script causes readers to say those words, you will be winning contests. While I've included just
a few tips here on bringing your script to that level. If you'd like more, get our report with"51
Tips."

WHAT DO YOU DO ONCE YOU'VE WON?

So many times, I've heard screenwriters say "I won a contest and no agents or producers
called me." That shows a misinterpretation of what the contests are really about. While they
do provide some industry visibility, your job is to provide the rest.

"I would recommend that a contest winner create his/her own

buzz - write a press release, send it out to the trade magazines.
Use it in your queries. Contests are only one part of the
equation. You need a multi-pronged marketing approach."

Jami Deise
Winner "Best Horror Screenplay"
Screamfest, 2002

Jami is right. What the contests do is give you a few introductions and the credibility to make
a lot more introductions yourself. Producers and agents want to see that you have already
been through one selection process. That means that you stand out from the pack and
represent an opportunity to them. More important, it means that they aren't going to have to
read another script that is terrible.

There is one more requirement for your success - You have to make the contact.

"Soon as you win, go on a blitz campaign to gain agency

representation; if you're already repped, have your agent push
your winning script hard, and if you're nor repped, market it
hard yourself."

Sean Rooney
Winner Breckenridge
Screenplay Competition 1998

Once you've won, don't sit back and wait. Be proactive. Send out your query letters. Make
calls to producers. Attend Sherwood Oaks programs where you can meet producers and
agents face to face. Go to pitch fests. Market yourself.

FINAL QUESTION:

What if you win and no one wants your script? This happens often and there is no reason to
worry about it at all. Just have your strategy in place.

"It is not uncommon for the industry to pass on scripts that win
competitions, so having other work ready is paramount."

Sean Rooney
Winner Breckenridge
Screenplay Competition 1998

Instead of being sucked into the "Get rich quick" myths about this business, think long term.
You've just won a contest. That means your writing is pretty good. Keep working to improve
it. And since you were smart enough to market yourself and use the contest win to establish
some relationships with producers and agents, you'll want to get your next script ready as fast
as possible…and make this one a High Concept script that will lure producers into optioning or
buying it.

In the meantime, enter more contests and keep winning. From the moment you win your first
contest, you could be in the game. All it takes is to continually put your name/face out there
with another win or another marketable script connected to it. Sooner or later, if you keep
winning and writing highly compelling scripts, someone in Hollywood is going to latch onto you
and the buzz will begin.
 22 Ways to Improve Your Screenwriting

Whether you are trying to win contests or sell your script,

it is important that you take advantage of every opportunity
you can to increase your chances of success.

Some people have estimated the odds of selling a script in

the neighborhood of 1 in 20,000 against you. What if you could
cut that in half just by one action. 1 in 10,000. Then, what
if you could cut that by 1/10th by taking a series of actions.
Now, you're at 1 in 1,000. And if you continue on that path,
sooner or later, you'll get to 1 in 10 or even 1 in 2.

If you don't believe that, let me ask you this: What are the
chances of Charlie Kaufman selling another screenplay?

He wrote BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, ADAPTATION, and other screenplays.

Would you say that his chances of selling another screenplay
are pretty high? Would you be surprised to hear that he sold
another script in the next six months? I doubt it.

But if you'd met Charlie Kaufman when he first began writing,

wouldn't you say he was right in there with the 1 in 20,000
odds against him?

My point is this: Everyone starts at 1 in 20,000 odds and

it is up to us to shift the odds until they are in our favor.
Shifting those odds is just a matter of constantly improving
and taking advantage of the opportunities that come to us.

Below is 22 ways to improve your screenwriting. I've started

with the most obvious and built to some ideas that are out of
the ordinary.

I present this list so you will always have a way to improve

your screenwriting, even if you are trapped in your room by
yourself with no money and no contacts.

1. Write every day.

2. Read produced screenplays and search for what they did well.
Read for a contest and see the difference between the
winners and the ones that didn't make it.
3. Take a screenwriting class. I can easily recommend a few.
See the Upcoming Events below.
4. Get feedback on your writing.
5. Critique another writer's scripts.
6. Join a screenwriting group.
7. Take your favorite screenplay and transcribe it, noticing the
choices the writer made.
8. Select a technique to improve and use it in one or more scenes.
9. Write the same scene a completely different way.
- Reverse a scene or character
- Increase the stakes
- Change who prevails in the scene
- Use a twist to change the end of the scene
- Put the characters in a worse position
10. Have another writer write one of your scenes in a completely
different way.
11. Take a character to an extreme to see what other
possibilities are available.
12. Take a line of dialogue or description and rewrite it 10
different ways or more.
13. Stretch yourself: Give your character an unsolvable problem
and then solve it.
14. Pick a scene in a movie you like and write it. Once you have
completed it, read the writer's script for that scene and see
how he or she wrote it differently.
15. Watch a movie, stopping it at the end of each scene. Write
down what happened in the scene, how the characters changed,
what was the in and out points, and what was the most
interesting part of the scene.
16. Take your best idea and top it in some way!
Sometimes, it is not about the writing. It is about the
thinking and the breakthroughs and getting used to coming up
with fresh ideas. Force yourself to top your best ideas on a
regular basis and soon, you'll have the best ideas in
Hollywood.
17. Find out what a producer or reader wants in a script.
This can shift your chances dramatically. It may save you
from writing something that has no chance of success.
18. Take an acting class.
19. Do a read-through with actors.
20. Shoot a short on DV. For anyone who has done this, you've
had the experience of seeing actors bring your script to
life. Until you do, you can't imagine the amount of
 pride and embarrassment you'll experience. But directing
even one scene will change how you write.
21. Give yourself permission to write from your heart with no
holding back.
22. Decide that you will constantly improve your writing until
you are one of the best screenwriters there is.

There you are. 22 ways to shift the odds of your success. Many
of which do not even require that you leave your computer.

If you're serious about writing, I wouldn't let a day go by

without doing at least one of the above. And if you do improve
your writing everyday from this point on, who knows, you may
become the next Charlie Kaufman (without all the emotional
problems) and be making those 7-figure deals.

Screenplay Marketing
Mistakes to Avoid

Most of us started out just wanting to write a great movie.

Maybe it was the movie we wanted to see. Then we found out
just how hard it is to truly write great scripts and after
recovering
from the shock, we committed to become great screenwriters
and
learned everything we could.

With a lot of work and creativity, we completed a script we

believe is ready and then a second shock shows up -- the
marketing process.

So we read a few books on the process and do the best we can.

Mostly, we do what we see others doing or what we learned to
do in another industry.

...And it leads nowhere!

Why? Because the players in Hollywood are in tremendous

demand and only respond to materials that are presented in the
"correct fashion."

Cheryl and I have spent over 15 years marketing to corporations

and the last two years intensely marketing to Hollywood. At the
same time, we've had over eighty screenwriters send projects to
us.

In our experience, there are 14 COMMON MISTAKES that

screenwriters
make when they market to Hollywood. We address all of them
(and
solutions to each) in the upcoming class "Marketing Your Script
to
Hollywood and Indie Producers." In this article, I'd like to talk
about three. But first...

CONSIDER THESE FACTS

FACT Anyone who is worth pursuing in Hollywood is

#1 SHORT ON TIME.

FACT They each have plenty of stories, and every

#2 day, more scripts than they can handle
continue to be sent to them.

FACT Every successful producer, agent, or manager

#3 in
Hollywood has systems to eliminate the bad
scripts and find the good ones as quickly as
possible.

FACT From the second your material arrives,

#4 someone (intern, assistant, creative director,
producer, etc.) is trying to find a reason to
eliminate it. Not because they are bad people.
Not because there is a conspiracy against new
writers. Not for any other reason than to SAVE
TIME.

So they have devised systems to eliminate anything that isn't

A-list material. And they want to eliminate it as fast as they
can, again, to save them time.

The systems I'm talking about include things like asking

questions
(Do you have representation?), tossing out anything that isn't
perfect, having very specific criteria and checking your script
against it, not accepting unsolicited materials, having readers
give coverage, etc.

Every one of the 14 mistakes can cause the quicker elimination

of
your screenplay. That is why it is so important to understand
them and have solutions to each one.

MISTAKE #1. Sending a script out before it is ready.

This is the number one mistake that happens hundreds of times

a
day by screenwriters. A person finishes writing a script and
loves it. In their excitement, they start pitching producers,
agents and managers. They get some requests and send the
script
in...without having someone professional look at it.

Keep in mind, I'm not trying to sell consulting services. Not

because I'm not good at it, but because I just don't have the
time. But here is my recommendation: If you are going to send
a script to Hollywood, I highly recommend that you have a
consultant IN HOLLYWOOD give you a critique before sending
anything out. Yes, I know it may cost you $250 or much more,
but
it could save you from ruining a relationship with a producer who
someday could buy your material.

In the last two weeks, I've had three writers send me scripts
that they are currently marketing to Hollywood. Not one of them
is close to ready. In fact, my opinion is that two of the three
will cause producers to avoid that writer in the future.

Here's the rule: If the script isn't ready, don't pitch it!

Get the script completely ready. Have at least one consultant

FROM L.A. read it. Make whatever changes and polish it until it
shines. Then send it out and something amazing will happen -- if
it doesn't sell, producers will ask you to call them on your next
script.

If you can't afford to have a consultant from L.A. look at it,

join Greatscripts and have a variety of screenwriters look at it.
If they can find anything wrong with it, rewrite. And keep
rewriting until it is better than you can imagine. I promise you
that you'll be glad you went to that much work. The respect
you'll receive from a *professionally written* script will be so
worth it.

MISTAKE #2. Sending uninteresting marketing materials.

When you ask an assistant or creative director what percentage

of query letters they find appealing, the answer is usually
" less than 1%."

I worked for a major producer when I first came to L.A. and she
had me read over 200 query letters the first week. But first,
she gave me her criteria.

 "If you've seen it on the screen before, toss it."

 "If it confuses you, toss it."
 "If it doesn't immediately strike you as a movie, toss it."
 "If it's not interesting, toss it."
 "Only come back to me with stories you think will make
GREAT movies."

Every day, I read 50 of them. On Friday, I had to stand before

her and justify why the 4 I picked out would make great movies.

GET THIS: Out of the 200 query letters, only 10 didn't violate
one or more of her criteria. So 95% of my job was just reading
each one once and tossing it in the trash. Here's the bad news.
The vast majority of them were dull, confusing, and should never
have been sent.

Notice the system this producer used. In my first week, I

eliminated 196 scripts that she didn't even have to think about.
My work had her only focus on the four best query letters. Out
of those, she had me call and request two of the scripts.

RESULTS: Only 1% of those query letters caused the

request of
the script.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

We spend 3 classes and 15 days critiquing marketing materials
during the upcoming "Marketing" class, so I can't solve that one
here in a few sentences. But here's some questions that can help
you improve your marketing materials:

 Does this do a good job of telling the story?

 Are you presenting the most interesting part?
 Is there a more interesting way to present it?
 Are you engaging us in the main conflict?
 Do you leave us intrigued and wanting more?
(...But not confused.)

Whether you send a logline or query letter or entire treatment,

these questions apply. Your job is to make those materials so
interesting that it cuts through the overworked, jaded, slightly
abused assistant's mental state and has them get excited about
your script enough to stand up to their boss.

I know that is a lot to ask, but if you do it, you will get more
responses.

MISTAKE #3. Not understanding what producers, agents, actors,

etc. want and need.

If you're not into marketing, this one may seem unimportant,

but
it is one of the most valuable things you can do -- gain an
understanding of what the decision makers in this business want.

Why?

Because it increases your chances of making a deal by 10 times.

For this article, I'll just give a very simple overview of what
producers want. In the class, we also go into what agents,
managers, A-list actors, and what Cable/TV Networks want.

WHAT DO PRODUCERS WANT?

They want *marketable projects that are well written.*

Now, let's break this down. Depending upon the market the
producer operates in, this may be somewhat different.

Cheryl and I only work with top producers who have a deal with
a
studio. To us, marketable means "High Concept screenplays that
have a great starring role in them."

But if you go to a producer with connections to the Christian

market, they'll want "a great story that displays Christian
values." Make sense?

MARKETABLE means it appeals to a market that is willing to pay.

Marketable is not about genre, although some genres are easier

to sell than others. It is about what a decision maker perceives
they can sell to their specific market. For a studio, that
market is the masses worldwide. For a Christian production
company, that market is Christian movie-goers that may not
extend
into more than 10 Worldwide territories.

Keep in mind that anything that has Tom Cruise starring in it is

marketable. But to get your script into Tom's hands, it has to
go through his production company and since Tom is the #1 star
in the world right now, they are a tough sell. But to get
anything in that door, you'd need to understand what they need
and what Tom Cruise needs as an A-List actor.

BTW, to truly understand what a producer needs, you'll need to

do
a little research. The more you know about the individual
producer, the better. But at least make sure you understand the
needs of their category. Whether it is a producer with a studio
deal or a producer who works with Indie filmmakers or one who
deals only with the foreign markets. Each category has their
own specific needs, but all of them are looking for *marketable*
material for their niche.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Resolving these three mistakes can make a big difference for

you.
If you make sure your script is truly up to Hollywood standards,
 that your marketing materials are extremely compelling and that
you understand what producers want, you have increased your
chance of success dramatically.

Of course, if marketing your screenplay is something on the

horizon for you, join us for the upcoming class and you'll know
the solutions to all 14 mistakes, along with having a *Complete
Marketing Campaign* for your current project.

The Mind of the Studio Executive

Cheryl and I bought a new car last week. The salesman was brilliant.
He asked us what we wanted. We gave him a list of details and he
took us right to a car that fit our desires. We haggled about price,
then left him our phone number so he could try to match the price
we wanted. After a couple of phone calls, we got a pretty good deal.

Notice that he didn't try to sell us something we didn't want. If he

would have, we would have walked off the lot.

What's this got to do with Studio executives?

If you want a producer or Studio executive to read your work, you

are the salesperson. Your job is to present them with something
they will want to make into a movie. To do that, you need to
understand what their needs and wants are.

For a studio executive, there are two big motivations operating every
time they see a project. They are hope and fear.

Fear: Making a bad decision that will result in humiliation or

job loss.

Hope: Having their name connected to the next blockbuster

that will produce huge amounts of profit and/or win
Academy Awards.

Compared to most corporate executives (I've dealt with hundreds of

VP's during the last 15 years), a Studio executive has far more
upside potential and far more downside potential. So they have a lot
of emotional stress about any decision they make.
  They believe in the dream, but also have serious concerns
about being stung.
 They crave the blockbuster, but are terrified about the
possibility of a box-office failure.

Therefore, it is easier to say "no" than to risk their tail on a project

that may fail. Most of the Studio executives I've met can eliminate a
project being pitched to them very quickly. And they really do need
to have that skill. When you consider that 40,000 scripts come into
Hollywood every year and only 300 or so movies get made, the
process of elimination/selection is very important.

What questions go through their mind when they hear a pitch?

- Is this a studio project, budget and star-wise?

- Is this marketable?
- How will I market it?
- What star will want this role?
- How do I sell this to my boss?

Don't get confused about this. These are the questions a studio
exec will be answering in their own mind within seconds after
hearing the concept. They haven't read a synopsis, treatment, or
the script and they're already asking these questions. Even worse,
if they don't get a satisfactory answer to any of these questions,
they usually pass. One exec said "If I can't see the poster within
a minute of hearing the concept, I pass."

Most screenwriters are offended to know that a Studio executive will

make a decision in less than a minute without seeing one word of
your writing. Of course, if you got all the way to the studio level,
most likely, your writing is excellent and someone has already
recommended you. But there is a reason why that decision is made
so fast.

THE SELECTION PROCESS

Everyone in this industry has a selection process. Including you.

Why did you choose to write one script and not another? But with a
Studio executive, it is about the money.

Consider these facts:

 This is their business.

  They're making multi-million dollar decisions.
 Success for that studio exec is based on choices that become
box-office successes.
 No one knows what will be the next hit.
 Safe decisions are easier to make than risky ones.
 Any decision they make usually has to be justified to their boss.
 ROI (return on investment) is the primary concern.

In a world where there is no real evidence that a story will pay a

healthy ROI, a Studio executive must justify their decisions by
presenting a case why this story will be easy to market, garner a
huge audience and why they believe they can get a bankable star to
play the role.

Back to their questions:

- Is this a studio project, budget and star-wise?

- Is this marketable?
- How will I market it?
- What star will want this role?

Imagine that you were required to answer those questions to your

boss about every decision you made. By your second day on the
job, you would be listening to a pitch with those questions in mind,
wouldn't you?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?

Now that you know what a Studio exec is up against, you probably
want to consider those questions as you write your screenplays.
That is, if you want to sell to a studio.

HERE'S A FIVE STEP SOLUTION:

1. Create great concepts that are unique, compelling, and easy

to market.
2. Write great lead roles that will lure an A-list actor into the
deal.
3. Make sure the writing is amazing.
4. Present the story in a knock-out one-sentence pitch.
5. Have a well rehearsed two-minute and 10-minute version of
the entire story that is filled with hooks and compelling
moments.
The key here is to make sure your pitch causes the exec to answer
their questions positively. If you pitch a great concept that hasn't
been done and it is clear that it is marketable to a wide audience,
you're half way there. Most likely the executive will instantly ask
you questions to find the rest of the answers to their questions. As
you answer, you'll include a few key phrases that will let the exec
know that the lead character would be appealing to an A-list actor.

Of course, having a pitch like that means you've thought a lot about
how to make your story marketable. Usually, it means that you've
made "marketing decisions" part of your early "writing decisions."
Most times, it is the decisions you make before you write that will
either cause this exec to say yes or no.

As unpleasant as it may seem, you are the salesperson of your script

until you find someone else to champion the project. So you want to
make every script you write as easy to sell as possible. Following
that five-step solution will do that for you.

INTERVIEW: Bonnie Orr - A Texas Writer with Hollywood Sales

I interviewed Bonnie Orr mainly because she has had a unique form of success for the movie
industry -- living in Texas and doing business in L.A..

But I really like Bonnie for many other reasons. She has been a true
friend to many up-and-coming screenwriters and actively supports the
screenwriting community in Austin, Texas. She also set me up with
a few connections when I first moved to L.A., so I've benefited directly
from working with her.

In the interview below, she has tips for breaking in, living outside L.A.
and an interesting way of networking. Here goes:

BONNIE: Hi Hal, Thanks for the opportunity to share my experiences

so far with your readership. This is an exciting adventure that is full
of spills and thrills.

HAL: I know. Can you tell us a bit about the success you've had
so far.

BONNIE: I haven't had a script produced yet, but I have been hired
twice to write scripts and have sold scripts several times. At the
moment my biggest success was the day that Universal called up
and said they were going to buy my script called "Earth on Fire"
which is a huge action movie. Unfortunately that was on September
10 right before 9-11 happened and they called back the next day
saying "no, thanks."

That script is now being pitched by the producer who has the option
at Warner Brothers in a September pitch meeting. Cross your fingers!

HAL: I will. So you've sold several scripts and been hired for
assignments. Tell us about your first big break.

BONNIE: I suppose my first break into the business was when I sent
out 1700 query letters on my third script after graduating from UCLA's
Professional graduate screenwriting program. I received about 200
letters or calls back saying "send it." I am still in contact with many
of those producers.

HAL: I've never heard percentages like that before. What did you
do to produce that result?

I wrote three paragraphs. The first one was the hook of the story and
a brief description. The second one was about my credentials and
the third one said I'd be calling them in two weeks to follow up.

I continued the relationship by sending them queries every time I

wrote a new script to see if they were interested. Some I'd email
more often or call or meet when I was in L.A. If I saw that they had
a new film coming out, I'd go see it and send them a complimentary
note or email if I liked it.

HAL: It sounds so easy, but then I know you're an excellent writer

and that makes a big difference. What would you recommend for
screenwriters who are trying to break in?

BONNIE: I recommend that they get in screenwriting groups that can

make sure that their scripts are ready to be shown or hire someone to
tell them if it's ready. It has to be on the page before you'll get any
interest in your work.

Then, you need to roll up your sleeves and start writing queries or
doing cold calls. Unless your uncle is head of Paramount of
something similar...

HAL: Was your plan from the beginning to live in Texas and sell
screenplays?
BONNIE: My plan was always to live in Texas and sell screenplays
because my husband's law business is in Austin and I like living in
Austin.

So when I attended UCLA I went with the goal of marketing myself

and my work while I was in school. I set up breakfast, lunch, and
dinner meetings with development executives and producers. I found
that this was more effective than setting up meetings in their offices.
It gave us both a chance to get to know each other in a way that
doesn't generally happen in someone's office.

By the time I left L.A. (after I graduated) I had contacts in every studio
and in over fifty production companies.

HAL: Great job! It is amazing what a free meal and the courage to
make the call can drum up. Was it really that simple?

BONNIE: Yeah, I would cold call someone in a company that looked

like they could say "yes" to getting a film made. I would tell them
that I'd like to meet them and that I knew their time was valuable.
Then I'd offer to meet them for breakfast, coffee, lunch or dinner to get
to know them. I wouldn't pitch the script that I was working on during
the phone call. Of course, I paid for whatever the meal cost and I think
that made them feel appreciated. Most of these people work over a
hundred hours a week and rarely hear a kind word.

HAL: Right. And now, how do you maintain this from Texas?

BONNIE: I do business with L.A. through email, phone calls, and

frequent visits to L.A. I would probably be further along in the
business if I lived in L.A. as going out there always generates new
projects and new relationships. But I still get writing assignments
from producers that I've now known since 1998 when I was in school.

HAL: So what advice would you give to those who want to live
outside L.A. and still do business there?

BONNIE: I would say concentrate on learning the craft first and then
couple that with trips to L.A. where you start meeting people. This
business is about 80% about who you know and who likes you.
HAL: Some people bank on getting an agent to get them into the
business. What do you think is the screenwriter's responsibility
when it comes to marketing their work?

BONNIE: Do not bank on getting an agent! This is the surest way

to fail in my opinion. Even when you get one, you still have to be
your own agent and get out there and market yourself and make
opportunities happen. Agents typically have at least forty clients and
they spend the majority of their time on the ones already making
them money.

HAL: What have you tried that didn't work?

BONNIE: It's hard to say that something didn't work because I

consider all "failures" learning lessons. I once sold a script based on
the life of John Wesley Hardin to three agents who had decided to set
up their own production company. I hired a famous entertainment
attorney and he got the price up from the guild minimum (which was
about $48,000) at the time to $125,000. One of the three agents got
mad that they were putting so much money into my script and walked.
The company folded.

HAL: That's funny! Well, maybe not. I guess everyone lost in that
situation. Too bad. Any other marketing advice for screenwriters?

BONNIE: I've seen all sorts of things work like the screenwriter who
was a security guard on a studio lot and no one would take him
seriously until he sent in a script under another name and it sold.
I've seen a guy get a meeting because he pasted signs along a
particular producer's jogging path about his script with his phone
number on the sign.

The important thing is to meet people, to deliver to them what you

say you are going to do, and to do it on time with a smile on your
face. Good luck to all of you!
----------------------

My thanks to Bonnie Orr for sharing her time and experience with
us.

Another Way In -- Indie Filmmakers Need Screenwriters

Most people never consider Indie filmmakers as a potential market
for their screenwriting. But there are opportunities there and in some
cases, it is a lot easier to establish yourself with an Indie.

As you read this interview with screenwriter Michael Hockney, you will be surprised at the
results that can be achieved in the Indie
world. Here's the interview:

HAL: Hi Michael. I know you've had a lot of success getting

assignments with Indie producers, can you give me an overview of
what you've done with them?

MICHAEL: Sure. Since I took your Great Screenwriting Series two

years ago, I've worked with nine producers on two shorts, two features, a feature-length
animation, a TV series, two Pilots and an animated TV Series.

I think I've done just about everything a screenwriter could do for an

Indie producer - taken a producer's idea and developed it into a
feature length script, I've rewritten a few scripts optioned by
producers, worked as a story editor on one producer's project, major
rewrite on another and I've been given concepts and free range to
write the best script possible.

HAL: Wow! That's amazing. How did you locate these Indie
producers?

MICHAEL: I met some at the local film society, through websites

like Hollywoodlitsales, film festivals, and through word-of-mouth.
producers I worked with talking to other producers.

HAL: Okay, so then you somehow hooked up with them to get

a writing assignment. How did you do that?

MICHAEL: The first two were members of the film society here in
the Okanagan. Although I wasn't paid, the experience was valuable
and I had two credits to put on my resume. With that small resume,
I went to websites like hollywoodlitsales.com and emailed producers
looking for writers. My first "LA" job came that way.

Then the local producer had her short screened at the National
Screen Institute in Canada, which helped launch her career -- I was
fortunate enough that she remembered me and she recommended
me to the next two producers. After an email introduction, I sent my
resume and a very short writing sample. They emailed back within
the hour asking me what my rates were! That was a weird moment.
Usually they tell me their terms!

HAL: I understand you were involved in some in-depth story

meetings on some of these projects. What was that like and what
did you learn from the process?

MICHAEL: I've been in a few table meetings with producers and

directors, going through the script page-by-page focusing on plot -
studying the scenes and saying, "Okay, how can we make this
better? or this is tired, let's think of something fresh."

I've been in the character focus script meetings - going through

the script focusing on one character, looking at dialogue,
motivations etc. and rewriting their dialogue. We did this for every
character in the script - it shows you which characters need work,
which ones are redundant or could be taken out and the
lines/actions given to the main character.

I was fortunate enough to sit in a reading session with the actors

which was really eye opening and embarrassing at the same time -
hearing your words outside your head is exciting, but when your
dialogue stinks, not even a great actor can make it work. At home
on the computer I thought "Wow, that's a great line!" and then to
hear an actor say it and it just stinks up the whole room... ya, pretty
embarrassing and a great motivator to get it right the next time.

While you get buried under a mountain of notes and you rewrite the
same scene half a dozen times to try and satisfy everyone (which
never happens!) you really get to see how producers look at a script,
what they're looking for, what they like and don't like, how the director
looks at the script, his likes and dislikes, and how w the DP looks at it.

They're all looking for the same things - high concept, interesting
characters, strong story, good writing. The actors really only care
about their role and memorable lines to say.

HAL: You've also worked on a TV series with a producer who is

raising financing. Tell us how that process went.
MICHAEL: The pilot episode had already been written, but everyone
knew it needed to be cranked up a few levels. I'd just finished
rewriting a feature for the same producer and she mentioned the TV
series pilot was missing something. I offered to read it and tell her
what I thought and declined the reading fee they offered, hoping if I
could help them out, they'd consider me as a writer when it gets
picked up.

So I read it and made a few notes, quick little fixes - it impressed

them enough to ask me to go through it and make those changes
and any others I felt would make it better. So I accepted - and they
told me they needed it in 3 days. So, I started reworking it, sending
in 10 pages at a time, just to make sure I wasn't getting too far
away from what they wanted. After the second set of pages, they
called me and offered full partnership to develop the rest of the series,
plus 50-50 on the pilot, credit as well.

The pilot went to the other producer who was very impressed with the
changes - he took it to MIP-TV in Cannes - but before he even pitched
it, a distributor who'd only read the one page and the pilot wanted to
sign on. I'm still not 100% sure how they found out about this project.
Anyway, it went to MIP-TV and a fairly big production company liked
the concept, wanted to read the pilot. The next day they asked to
see the first season outline, so we went nuts and gave them the first
and second season outlines... and that's where we are now, waiting
to hear back.

HAL: Anything else you'd like to tell us about writing for Indie
producers?

MICHAEL: My mentor told me once, be nice to everyone on the way

up because you never know where you'll be in a year - that small
indie producer today could be the next A-list producer tomorrow.
Like this local producer who made a short, was selected for NSI and
last summer she produced a feature that was one of three Canadian
Features short listed for Cannes this year. Now she's getting phone
calls and meetings from big producers and studios across the
country.

The indie producers have incredible passion and they are willing to
work with writers who may not have a resume, but have a well written
script. And I've learned that the indie producers are in constant
network mode -- they help each other out. One producer
recommended me to another which turned into another assignment.
-----------------------

Before any of you go off sending your first script to a bunch of

Indie producers, remember that Michael is an excellent screenwriter
who has been through all of my classes. He can write and rewrite
on demand and understands the business.

That being said, I think there's a simple structure here that can be
followed:

1. Complete a high quality writing sample.

You need to show them something so they know you can produce a high quality screenplay for
them.

2. Be willing to work on spec to prove yourself.

3. Meet/approach/email Indie producers and present yourself

as someone who can assist them to write THEIR projects.

4. Be flexible and willing to write the script to fit their needs.

This one is important. Don't come into it looking to push your own point-of-view. This is their
film. You are building a career by helping them to build their careers. Put their needs on the
project first and you'll have producers who will never want to work with anyone else.

5. Remember that Indie producers network with each other. Do a

great job for one and you just may become a writer for their friends,
also.

My thanks to Michael Hockney for sharing his experience with us.

Why Scripts Get Turned Down

Every week, hundreds of scripts come into a production companies

and the vast majority of them are turned down. Most of the time,
you either hear nothing or just "It's not for us." While I can't answer
for all the production companies out there, I can let you know some
of the reasons we've turned down projects.

As always, my purpose here is to assist you to be more successful

when you approach producers. Remember, as you read this, our
market is major production companies with Studio deals. So we
want material that will appeal to a wide audience. If you are writing
for an independent market, you'll need to consider what they are
looking for.

Here's our list from scripts we read in the last two weeks:

1. Concept not highly marketable.

I know I harp on this a lot, but it is the number one reason we pass
on projects. Here's why. If the concept is not easy to market, the
Studio says "no." Keep in mind that if your project is a $25 million
movie, often they'll spend between $25 million and $40 million just
to market it. Now, you've got $60 million that the Studio needs to
make back before it sees a penny of profit.

If you were making a $60 million investment, wouldn't return-on-

investment be a big concern? Marketability means the concept is
unique in a significant way, it can be simply stated, and it will
appeal to a mass audience.

2. The parts just don't fit bankable actors.

Getting an A-list actor to attach to a project can often cause finance

people to say Yes. So it is very important that lead characters
appeal to A-list actors. The problem is that most characters are too
flat and aren't interesting enough to take to a lead actor.

Top actors want parts that are bigger than life, unique, and allow
them to show off their abilities.

3. There are boring spots in the script.

You've heard me say this before. Producers don't have time to read
something that doesn't work, so many of them have taken on a
policy that says "I read until I'm bored." The moment they get
bored with a script, it is over.

I know that sounds so harsh, but we, as writers, have a huge

opportunity here to make sure every page of our scripts are the most
interesting they possibly can be. Doing that will have your script
stand out from the pack.

4. The script doesn't deliver on an emotional level.

Great structure, unique characters, fun plot, but very little emotion
just doesn't cut it. A script needs to deliver an emotional roller
coaster ride. Audiences go into movies to be moved emotionally.
They want to experience the highs and lows of the characters.

If it is a comedy, we need to laugh, not just grin. If it is a horror

flick, it should scare the hell out of us. Remember, emotion is
essential to the success of a movie.

5. A great story goes in a weird direction.

This doesn't happen that often, but I've recently read a few scripts
where I loved the story at the midpoint, but the third act just turned
so weird that it appeared as if it came from another story.

Usually, when that happens, I believe the writer just didn't know how
to create a powerful third act that was powerful. So they tries to
shock or surprise everyone, but didn't bother to set it up well in the
first two acts. The entire script needs to feel like it is one story,
not two.

Clearly, these aren't the only reasons that screenplays get turned
down. At some point in the future, I may revisit this topic and give
you other reasons. But if you can eliminate those five problems
from your scripts, you've just improved your chance of success
with a production company.

Screenplay Marketing
Mistakes to Avoid

Most of us started out just wanting to write a great movie.

Maybe it was the movie we wanted to see. Then we found out just how hard it is to truly write
great scripts and after recovering
from the shock, we committed to become great screenwriters and
learned everything we could.

With a lot of work and creativity, we completed a script we

believe is ready and then a second shock shows up -- the
marketing process.

So we read a few books on the process and do the best we can.

Mostly, we do what we see others doing or what we learned to do in another industry.

...And it leads nowhere!

Why? Because the players in Hollywood are in tremendous demand and only respond to
materials that are presented in the "correct fashion."

Cheryl and I have spent over 15 years marketing to corporations

and the last two years intensely marketing to Hollywood. At the
same time, we've had over eighty screenwriters send projects to us.

In our experience, there are 14 COMMON MISTAKES that screenwriters

make when they market to Hollywood. We address all of them (and
solutions to each) in the upcoming class "Marketing Your Script to
Hollywood and Indie Producers." In this article, I'd like to talk
about three. But first...

CONSIDER THESE FACTS

FACT #1 Anyone who is worth pursuing in Hollywood is SHORT ON TIME.

FACT #2 They each have plenty of stories, and every day, more scripts than
they can handle continue to be sent to them.

FACT #3 Every successful producer, agent, or manager in

Hollywood has systems to eliminate the bad scripts and find the good
ones as quickly as possible.

FACT #4 From the second your material arrives, someone (intern, assistant,
creative director, producer, etc.) is trying to find a reason to eliminate
it. Not because they are bad people. Not because there is a
conspiracy against new writers. Not for any other reason than to
SAVE TIME.

So they have devised systems to eliminate anything that isn't

A-list material. And they want to eliminate it as fast as they
can, again, to save them time.

The systems I'm talking about include things like asking questions
(Do you have representation?), tossing out anything that isn't
perfect, having very specific criteria and checking your script
against it, not accepting unsolicited materials, having readers
give coverage, etc.

Every one of the 14 mistakes can cause the quicker elimination of

your screenplay. That is why it is so important to understand
them and have solutions to each one.
MISTAKE #1. Sending a script out before it is ready.

This is the number one mistake that happens hundreds of times a

day by screenwriters. A person finishes writing a script and
loves it. In their excitement, they start pitching producers,
agents and managers. They get some requests and send the script
in...without having someone professional look at it.

Keep in mind, I'm not trying to sell consulting services. Not

because I'm not good at it, but because I just don't have the
time. But here is my recommendation: If you are going to send
a script to Hollywood, I highly recommend that you have a
consultant IN HOLLYWOOD give you a critique before sending
anything out. Yes, I know it may cost you $250 or much more, but
it could save you from ruining a relationship with a producer who
someday could buy your material.

In the last two weeks, I've had three writers send me scripts
that they are currently marketing to Hollywood. Not one of them
is close to ready. In fact, my opinion is that two of the three
will cause producers to avoid that writer in the future.

Here's the rule: If the script isn't ready, don't pitch it!

Get the script completely ready. Have at least one consultant

FROM L.A. read it. Make whatever changes and polish it until it
shines. Then send it out and something amazing will happen -- if
it doesn't sell, producers will ask you to call them on your next
script.

If you can't afford to have a consultant from L.A. look at it,

join Greatscripts and have a variety of screenwriters look at it.
If they can find anything wrong with it, rewrite. And keep
rewriting until it is better than you can imagine. I promise you
that you'll be glad you went to that much work. The respect
you'll receive from a *professionally written* script will be so
worth it.

MISTAKE #2. Sending uninteresting marketing materials.

When you ask an assistant or creative director what percentage
of query letters they find appealing, the answer is usually
" less than 1%."

I worked for a major producer when I first came to L.A. and she
had me read over 200 query letters the first week. But first,
she gave me her criteria.

 "If you've seen it on the screen before, toss it."

 "If it confuses you, toss it."
 "If it doesn't immediately strike you as a movie, toss it."
 "If it's not interesting, toss it."
 "Only come back to me with stories you think will make
GREAT movies."

Every day, I read 50 of them. On Friday, I had to stand before

her and justify why the 4 I picked out would make great movies.

GET THIS: Out of the 200 query letters, only 10 didn't violate
one or more of her criteria. So 95% of my job was just reading
each one once and tossing it in the trash. Here's the bad news.
The vast majority of them were dull, confusing, and should never
have been sent.

Notice the system this producer used. In my first week, I

eliminated 196 scripts that she didn't even have to think about.
My work had her only focus on the four best query letters. Out
of those, she had me call and request two of the scripts.

RESULTS: Only 1% of those query letters caused the request of

the script.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

We spend 3 classes and 15 days critiquing marketing materials

during the upcoming "Marketing" class, so I can't solve that one
here in a few sentences. But here's some questions that can help
you improve your marketing materials:

 Does this do a good job of telling the story?

 Are you presenting the most interesting part?
 Is there a more interesting way to present it?
 Are you engaging us in the main conflict?
  Do you leave us intrigued and wanting more?
(...But not confused.)

Whether you send a logline or query letter or entire treatment,

these questions apply. Your job is to make those materials so
interesting that it cuts through the overworked, jaded, slightly
abused assistant's mental state and has them get excited about
your script enough to stand up to their boss.

I know that is a lot to ask, but if you do it, you will get more
responses.

MISTAKE #3. Not understanding what producers, agents, actors,

etc. want and need.

If you're not into marketing, this one may seem unimportant, but
it is one of the most valuable things you can do -- gain an
understanding of what the decision makers in this business want.

Why?

Because it increases your chances of making a deal by 10 times.

For this article, I'll just give a very simple overview of what
producers want. In the class, we also go into what agents,
managers, A-list actors, and what Cable/TV Networks want.

WHAT DO PRODUCERS WANT?

They want *marketable projects that are well written.*

Now, let's break this down. Depending upon the market the
producer operates in, this may be somewhat different.

Cheryl and I only work with top producers who have a deal with a
studio. To us, marketable means "High Concept screenplays that
have a great starring role in them."

But if you go to a producer with connections to the Christian

market, they'll want "a great story that displays Christian
values." Make sense?

MARKETABLE means it appeals to a market that is willing to pay.

Marketable is not about genre, although some genres are easier
to sell than others. It is about what a decision maker perceives
they can sell to their specific market. For a studio, that
market is the masses worldwide. For a Christian production
company, that market is Christian movie-goers that may not extend
into more than 10 Worldwide territories.

Keep in mind that anything that has Tom Cruise starring in it is

marketable. But to get your script into Tom's hands, it has to
go through his production company and since Tom is the #1 star
in the world right now, they are a tough sell. But to get
anything in that door, you'd need to understand what they need
and what Tom Cruise needs as an A-List actor.

BTW, to truly understand what a producer needs, you'll need to do

a little research. The more you know about the individual
producer, the better. But at least make sure you understand the
needs of their category. Whether it is a producer with a studio
deal or a producer who works with Indie filmmakers or one who
deals only with the foreign markets. Each category has their
own specific needs, but all of them are looking for *marketable*
material for their niche.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Resolving these three mistakes can make a big difference for you.
If you make sure your script is truly up to Hollywood standards,
that your marketing materials are extremely compelling and that
you understand what producers want, you have increased your
chance of success dramatically.

Of course, if marketing your screenplay is something on the

horizon for you, join us for the upcoming class and you'll know
the solutions to all 14 mistakes, along with having a *Complete
Marketing Campaign* for your current project.

Increasing the Probability of Your Success

Every week or so, another unproduced screenwriter breaks into this

business and begins their career. After years of hard work and
wondering if they'd ever make it, they have achieved a very big goal.

I believe part of their success came from making "high-probability"

decisions and taking actions based on those decisions.
Last week, a writer in one of my classes emailed me asking this
question:

"After reading my writing in the class, do you think it is

possible for me to succeed as a screenwriter?"

Important question, wouldn't you say? But to really answer it, we

need to consider the difference between "possibility" and
"probability."

Here are the definitions according to Webster's Revised Unabridged

Dictionary:

POSSIBILITY = a future prospect or potential.

PROBABILITY = a measure of how likely it is that some event

will occur.

So the answer to his question is...

Possibility: YES. Every person who gets this newsletter has

the possibility of becoming an A-list screenwriter.

Probability: That depends upon you, your decisions, and your

actions.

Possibility could exist with zero probability. As in, a person may

have the potential for hundreds of things that they never take action
on to make probable. On the other side, a person who
consistently takes actions to increase probability will often be able
to achieve the goal with 1/3rd the actual effort.

When I create an "Expert Model" (a structure of what an expert does

and how they do it for training purposes), I'm always looking for the
actions they take that increase their level of probability over others.
Sometimes, a single action taken in a precise manner will give them
10 times the results of other people around them who appear to be
doing the same job in the same way.

So what will increase the probability for an up-and-coming

screenwriter? There are many decisions and actions you can take
that can increase your probability of success. Rather than list a
bunch of them, I'd rather point out the difference between possibility
and probability in a few examples.

THREE EXAMPLES:

MARKETING

Sending out 1,000 email query letters may increase the Possibility
of your success, but it doesn't increase the Probability. Really,
you're just gambling. Hoping that somewhere, somehow, there will
be a fit between your project and what some producer wants.

Writing a High Concept script and then marketing it directly to

production companies that want High Concept projects increases
the *probability* because you are delivering to the market what it
craves.

Writing a script that meets ALL of the "10 components of a

Marketable Script" greatly increases the probability because you
are delivering a product that meets their needs on all fronts.

NETWORKING

Networking in itself increases the possibility, but doesn't do a thing

for probability. I know. I have some friends who know everyone in
the industry, but have no chance of selling anything because of what
they write and how they want to do business.

Networking with a "high demand" project or with an introduction

from important people or with a lot of "buzz" around your name all
increase your probability of doing business.

IMPROVING YOUR WRITING

Let's take the great advice that is given to writers by everyone.

Advice: Write every day.

I absolutely believe in writing every day. It is at the core of success.

But you need one other component to make it work. Writing every
day increases the *possibility* of you becoming a great writer, but
not the *probability* of it. I know plenty of people who have written
script after script showing no more than a 5% improvement
in their writing. Why? Because they neglected to increase their
skill level. They were stuck at the same place as they wrote day
after day, year after year with only mediocre skills.

What's worse is that they built the habit of writing at that level!

To increase the probability of becoming a great writer, you need to

learn high level screenwriting skills and use them as you write every
day. There is a huge difference between the writing of someone who
uses High School English class writing as they write a screenplay
and someone who use Professional level screenwriting techniques.

If you want to write like a Pro, you need to learn and practice their
techniques. That will increase the probability of you becoming a
great writer.

SUGGESTION FOR YOUR SUCCESS:

Look at all the "screenwriting" actions you take and

see which increase your probability and which don't. Then, shift as
many as you can to high-probability actions.

If you really want to make it in this business, start thinking in terms

of what will increase your probability. The more you can shift from
low-probability decisions/actions to high-probability
decisions/actions, the sooner you'll see success. If every decision
you make and every action you take somehow increases your
probability of success, chances are you'll make it.

End Boring Writing Forever!

When you think of writers like Charlie Kaufman, you probably

assume the guy is borderline crazy. His scripts go to places
previous movies have not. He is willing to express scenes in
absolutely outrageous ways. But he has more movies playing
right
now than any other writer.

One thing is for sure, his writing is never boring.

Maybe Kaufman is a clue to what studios buy and what people

want
to watch. Maybe we need to take our stories, characters, and
scenes to places that are beyond our comfort zone.
HOW CAN YOU STRETCH YOUR WRITING LIKE THAT?

Start by practicing the art of being dramatic, or more precisely,

being overly dramatic. Why? Because you need to expand your
comfort zone. You need to build up your tolerance to living on
that edge of what is acceptable, but what is also entertaining.

To do that, you need to stretch far beyond your current writing.

Once you've reached those outer limits, when you return to your
" normal" writing, you'll find that it is far more dramatic and
maybe far more marketable.

WHAT TECHNIQUES WORK FOR STRETCHING?

Just like in sports, there are methods for stretching.

STRATEGY: Take a scene or character to an extreme to see

where
it can go. Then back it off, if necessary.

By taking it to an extreme, you'll discover new things about

your characters and the situation they're in. Many times, this
will open up possibilities you'd never seen before.

Try one or more of these:

1. Double or triple the drama.

2. Multiply the stakes by ten times.
3. Do the one thing you fear most to your characters.
4. Provide an insane twist.
5. Make your characters suffer.
6. Ask "What is the most intense thing that could
possibly happen in this scene?"
7. Give your characters extreme traits and desires.
8. Pit your characters against each other by giving them
opposing agendas and major consequences if they lose.
9. Give them something to hide that is so terrible that
they can never admit it to anyone.
10. Have your characters change places. Have the bad
girl be the good girl, etc.

How will this end boring writing forever? By taking any boring
scene and giving it something extreme or unexpected. Even
more
 important than that, it will stretch your thinking and writing
until you will naturally write from a more interesting place.

It doesn't mean that you have to keep what you write, but if you
become very good at taking scenes and characters to extremes,
every script you write will be better. More importantly, readers
will be fascinated by the unexpected journey you take them on.
And that will pay off!

If you're not sure about this strategy, try it with one scene and
see what you learn from the process. If you really take that
scene to an extreme, you'll see things in your writing you've
never seen. You'll watch your characters react in new ways.
You learn things you couldn't learn any other way.

And maybe, just maybe, this strategy may bring you the kind of
success you want. It's very possible.

DYING IS EASY, COMEDY IS HARD

That's a popular saying on the comedy circuits. Comedy does take a lot of work, but it is much
easier when you clearly understand the structure. This article analyzes five pages of ACE
VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE and shows how a standup comedian and a comedy screenwriter
created some pretty amazing comedy.

Even if you think the movie is silly, you'll be surprised how many comedy techniques they
used in these five pages. As you read the analysis, keep in mind that I am only focusing on
comedy techniques. There are many other screenwriting techniques used in the scene, but to
keep the analysis from being confusing, we'll stick to the comedy.

As you read, notice my notes. Every laugh in this script can be boiled down to comedy writing
techniques that any one of us can learn and use as we write our screenplays.

From ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE

EXT. STREET - DAY

A UPS Man with a big pot belly is walking down the

street, whistling and carelessly tossing a package in
the air. We hear the sound of broken glass in the
box. He passes a professional woman.

UPS MAN
Good morning, UPS!
NOTE: In the opening visual, we have our first sign of
incongruence -- the sight of a happy UPS man tossing a fragile
package in the air. This is also the start of establishing our
main comedy character.

He tosses the box behind his back like a basketball,

then acknowledges another passerby.

UPS MAN
UPS, good to see you!

He takes a couple of steps, then flings the package

incredibly high into the air, spins completely around
and expertly drops to one knee and catches the box. A
Hispanic man passes.

UPS MAN
Buenos dias. Uo Pay eSsay.

NOTE: We've now got a running gag - this package will

continually be abused in many unique ways, many of which are
funny. This guy is having fun. So naturally we'll take the
journey with him, having fun all the way.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

The UPS Man dodges a couple of black kids as though

playing basketball. He runs up the front steps of the
building. He reaches out to open the front door and
inadvertently flings the package behind him and back
down the steps. He goes back, retrieves the package,
then enters the building.

INT. LOBBY - DAY

Several people stand in the elevator. The UPS Man

just makes it, but the door closes on the package...
REPEATEDLY. He feigns embarrassment.

NOTE: This is a physical topper. First, he was just tossing the

package into the air. Now, he allows the elevator door to close
on it over and over. He's taken the joke to a new level.

INT. 3RD FLOOR - DAY

ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN. The UPS Man throws the package

out onto the floor and starts kicking it down the
hall like a soccer player. With one last big kick the
parcel lands in front of APARTMENT 3B. He picks it up
and knocks on the door.
NOTE: This concludes our running gag. The same humor used
many times with minor changes that continue to have it be
funny. Who would have thought a UPS package could be so
much fun?

We hear a small dog barking.

GRUFF MAN (O.S.)

Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt!

An angry, burly man pokes his nose hairs out the

chained door.

NOTE: Comedy description. Sticking his nose hairs out the door
is much more entertaining than just sticking out his nose.

GRUFF MAN
What do you want?

UPS MAN
UPS, sir. And how are you this afternoon? Alrighty
then!

NOTE: Punchline: Having the UPS Man ask a question, then

answer it himself.

The man grumpily unchains the door. He's a big guy -

6'5", 250, and 50 of that is chest hair.

NOTE: More comedy description: 50 pounds of chest hair.

UPS MAN
I have a package for you.

The UPS guy thrusts the package toward the man. We

can clearly hear broken glass inside.

The man takes the package.

GRUFF MAN
It sounds broken.

UPS MAN
Most likely sir! I bet it was something nice though!
Now... I have an insurance form. If you'll just sign
here, here, and here, and initial here, and print
your name here, we'll get the rest of the forms out
to you as soon as we can.

NOTE: Punchline: Sign these forms so we can get more forms

out to you.
The man begrudgingly begins to fill out the form. The
dog wags his tail and whines. We can see that he
likes the UPS guy.

UPS MAN
That's a lovely dog you have. Do you mind if I pet
him, sir?

GRUFF MAN
(mumbles)
I don't give a rat's ass.

The UPS Man bends down and talks to the dog in a

really sucky pet talk.

UPS MAN
Oo ja boo ba da boo boo do booo!

GRUFF MAN
(under breath)
Brother.

Before the Gruff Man can finish, the UPS Man stands
back up and takes the form again.

UPS MAN
That's fine sir. I can fill out the rest. You just
have yourself a good day. Take care, now! 'Bye 'bye,
then!

NOTE: Incongruent: Taking the form before he's finished.

THRASH MUSIC STARTS

INT. HALLWAY -- CONT'D

The UPS Man moves swiftly down the hall and into the
stair well.

INT. APARTMENT 3B - CONT'D

The Gruff Man shakes the box, tosses it down and sits
in front of the TV.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - CONT'D

The UPS Man bursts from the front door and hustles
down the street very quickly. He passes several
people.

UPS MAN
 (quickly)
UPS, S'cuse me. UPS, comin' through.

INT. APARTMENT 3B - CONT'D

We see the back of the Shiatsu staring at the crack

in the front door. He has not moved an inch. The
Gruff Man looks over.

GRUFF MAN
Hey, stupid! Get away from the door!

The dog doesn't budge and this really pisses him off.
He gets up and heads for the dog.

GRUFF MAN
What's the matter with you, I said GIT!!!

He roughly picks the dog up by the scruff of the

neck, but as he turns it around we see that it is a
stuffed dog. Around it's neck is a business card that
reads, "You have been had by Ace Ventura - Pet
Detective." He breathes fire.

NOTE: Prop humor: The dog is a stuffed animal.

Punchline/topper: The card.

GRUFF MAN
Son of a bitch! He smashes the dog to the ground.

EXT. ALLEY - CONT'D

As the UPS Man/Ace rounds the corner, his shirt opens

up at his pot belly and the Shiatsu's head sticks
out. Ace is gloating.

NOTE: Sight gag: Dog sticking head out of his shirt.

ACE
(announcer's voice)
That was a close one, ladies and gentlemen.
Unfortunately, in every contest, there must be...A
LOOSER!

He jumps into an old beat-up Chevy Bel Air, and lets

the dog out onto the passenger seat.

ACE
LOOOHOOOSERRRHERRR!
He then pulls open the car's ashtray, and to the
dog's delight, it's filled with puppy chow.

NOTE: More prop humor: Ashtray full of puppy chow.

He tries to start the engine but it won't turn over.

The dog shoots him a look.

ACE
(to dog)
No problem, it gets flooded. We'll just wait a few
seconds.

Ace sits back. SMASH!!!

From Ace's POV we see a Baseball bat shatter the

front windshield.

ACE
Or, we could try it now.

NOTE: Punchline: Understatement.

Ace frantically tries to start the car. His new

friend continues around the car beating the living
shit out of it.

ACE
Oooh, boy.

ACE'S POV: We see the creep wailing on the car in

Ace's side view mirror.

ACE
Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear!

NOTE: Punchline: Parody of the mirror saying "Objects are

closer than they appear."

The dog is barking insanely.

ACE
(to dog)
You think you can do better?!

NOTE: Personification: Ace talks with animals as if he

understands them.

The baseball bat is now pummeling the trunk.

 ACE
Wanna give me a push while you're back there?

NOTE: Punchline: Absurd request.

BOOM! The back window shatters. Then the car's engine

roars to life. Ace rejoices.

ACE
FARFEGNUGENNNNN!!!

NOTE: Parody of a religious celebration. Instead of saying

hallelujah or something else, Ace praises a car company.

Ace leaves the bad guy in a cloud of dust and gravel,

screaming bloody murder.

EXT. MIAMI CITY STREETS - DAY

Ace and his new pal speed away freely.

Close on the happy dog, hanging his head out the car
window.

PAN across the broken windshield to Ace, also hanging

his head out the window to see where he's going.

NOTE: Sight gag/Metaphor humor: The dog and Ace are similar
creatures.

The car drives by a sign on a telephone pole:

"Reward" -- with a picture of the Shiatsu in Ace's
seat.

THRASH MUSIC ENDS INT. HOUSE - DAY

A very sexy woman is hugging and kissing the Shiatsu.

WOMAN
My little baby. You missed mommy didn't you? Did
daddy hurt you? I won't let him, no I won't. He may
have kept the big screen TV, but he's not gonna keep
my baby. No he isn't.

WOMAN
(very sexy to Ace)
Thank you, Mr. Ventura. How can I ever repay you?

She slinks over to Ace and puts her arms around his
 neck.

ACE
Well, the reward would be good, and there was some
damage to my--

She cuts Ace off with a devastating kiss.

WOMAN
Would you like me to take you pants off instead?

NOTE: Incongruent request.

ACE
Ummmm… Sure.

She pulls him toward the bedroom.

WOMAN
It takes a big man to stand up to my husband. He's
already put two of my lovers in the hospital.

ACE
How did he find out? Does he have you followed.

WOMAN
No… I tell him.

She plants a kiss on Ace's neck and pulls him down

out of frame onto the bed.

NOTE: Reversal: The woman admires him for his courage, then
tells him that she is setting him up. Then kisses him and pulls
him into bed.

Besides the notes I've pointed out above, it is also clear from the first five pages of this script
that it is an absurd comedy and that Ace is more committed to animals than humans, except
when there is sex involved.

This script has a great comedy concept - A pet detective outsmarts the police force to save the
Miami Dolphin's mascot from a psycho field goal kicker disguised as the chief of police. It has
an outstanding lead comedy character - Ace. And it has a humorous name - Ace Ventura: Pet
Detective!
Those are the broad strokes. The details are just as well laid out. It has an excellent
combination of physical humor, sight gags, running gags, and punchlines.

WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH ALL OF THIS?

Since it is clear that comedy comes from a structure and set of techniques just like any other
form of writing, you can adopt those techniques and add them to your writing.

Most likely, you already use some of these without thinking of it in the form I've presented.
That's good. It means it will be easier for you to build these techniques into your writing by
choice.

As you probably know, we are offering a program (listed below) that teaches the comedy
writing model in 10 days. If you're considering writing a comedy in the near future or if you
want to put more comedy into your screenplays of other genres, join us and get a huge head
start on becoming a born comedian.

Your First Page Sells Your Script!

By Hal Croasmun

After spending a year writing and rewriting his fourth script, a writer finally got it in
the hands of three producers who all responded to his query letter. Every day, he
waited for a call or letter, but nothing happened. Finally, to end the suspense, he
called one of the producers.

Writer: Hi, I'm the one who wrote DESPERATE NEED. You know, the script you
requested about a month ago.

Producer: Desperate need, desperate need. Oh yeah. We passed on that one.

Writer: Passed? Its the one where the DEA officer is forced to do shoot heroin in the
third act. Everyone who read it loved that ending.

Producer: Sounds very interesting. I wish you luck on it.

Writer: Wait a minute. You didn't read the whole script?

Producer: I gave it ten pages. If you don't get my attention in ten pages, I pass.
Bye.

Screenwriters often complain that producers and readers don't read their entire
script. In fact, many times, the producer says "no" after reading only 30 or 10 or
even 3 pages. That can be infuriating to a screenwriter who has invested their
creative and emotional life in every line of that script.

The other side of the story is that producers often complain about the quality of
writing they receive. I've asked about 25 producers this question...

"At what point in a script can you tell if it is written by a

professional screenwriter?"

The answers I heard will astound you. Many said "Within three pages" and more than
half said "On the first page."

The first page?! But what about my captivating third act? What about my characters
and their amazing relationships? What about the brilliant twists in the second act?
What about all of that?

By the end of your first page, a producer is already making decisions about your
script and your career. I've heard too many screenwriters say "my script starts slow,
but it really builds by the end." You know what? That script is going to be a hard sell.
In fact, if it is a spec by an unproduced writer, chances are readers will kill it before
page 10.

Again, I know that is infuriating for a screenwriter, but there is a bright side to this
situation. It is the side where you, the screenwriter, have the most power. It is called
GREAT WRITING!

If you know that a producer could make a decision about your career on the first
page, which page is going to show off your best work? I hope you just answered
"The first page." Let me ask another important question, one that may be more
important than any of the others above...

"When does a reader decide to read the entire script?"

A reader, assistant, Creative exec or producer sit down to read your script. They
open it to the first page and begin reading. At what point along the way do they
decide to read every word of that script?

Remember that each of these people have 10 to 15 scripts to read this weekend.
Their job is to find the ones they'll take a risk on and cancel out the others. They
want to get through those 15 scripts as fast as possible so they can have a social
life...even if just for a few minutes. If they're going to read past page 30, they have
made a decision that your script could be THE ONE.
If you're smart, you'll do everything you can to make sure that decision happens ON
YOUR FIRST PAGE.

Below are four openings that caused me to make the decision to read the entire
script. I'll point out when and why I made that decision. But the overall answer is
GREAT WRITING.

MY FIRST MISTER

The first is from the movie MY FIRST MISTER, a low budget flick that came out about
a year ago. When I received this script, I had no intention of reading more than 10
pages, even though it came on a recommendation from a producer I know.

Watch how long it took for me to make the decision to read every single word.

INT. CLASSROOM -- DAY

Over the hand of a seventeen year old girl, JENNIFER. Her fingernails
are bitten down to the quick and she is wearing silver rings on every
finger, including her thumbs. An Indian string bracelet bisects the
small, "Peace" sign tattoo on her wrist. We see a poem she's writing.

JENNIFER (V.O.)
Death touched her lips. As she kissed her Lover good-bye, she tried not
to touch his skin, knowing the coldness would chill her. As it was, she
still hadn't cried nor had she decided who was in the better position.
The end.
(pause)
I wrote that. I'm a fucking poet. And when I'm not writing poems, I'm
writing eulogies...mine. Don't freak on me, I'm not exactly on suicide
watch, yet. My mother, Shirley Partridge the Second, wants me to go to
dental school. I can't imagine spending everyday dealing with other
people's spit. I just don't think I'm the type.

We pull back and meet Jennifer. She's dressed in torn, black leggings,
a black muscleman tee shirt, and a baseball cap which is on backwards.
She has multiple face piercings and purple streaked hair. Underneath it
all, she is really pretty.

There it is. That is the point where I made the decision. I remember pausing at that
point, turning off the TV, getting a Pepsi and a bag of chips, and sitting down to read
EVERY SINGLE WORD of this script.
Don't worry about whether you liked the scene above or whether you cared for this
movie at all. What matters is the point that someone will decide to read every word
of your script. In the case of MY FIRST MISTER, it was half of a page for me. Why?

The writer poured a unique character into her dialogue and actions. She intrigued us
with lines about this girl writing her own eulogy, not being on suicide watch, having
Shirley Partridge the Second as her mother and not wanting her life to be about
people's spit.

She gave us a powerful visual of this girl being an outcast and then gave us a twist
with the words "Underneath it all, she is really pretty."

Essentially, she captured our attention and caused us to want to live with this
character for the next two hours.

AMERICAN BEAUTY

The second script is one I read before the movie came out. I'd already heard the
hype from people who had been to test screenings, but I didn't like the story they
told. I was totally prepared to hate this movie, but again, watch how fast I decided
to read the entire script.

INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

On VIDEO: JANE BURNHAM lays in bed, wearing a tank top.

She's sixteen, with dark, intense eyes.

JANE
I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna
spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school.
(snorts)
What a lame-o. Somebody really should put him out of his misery.

Her mind wanders for a beat.

RICKY (O.S.)
Want me to kill him for you?

Jane looks at us and sits up.

JANE
(deadpan)
Yeah, would you?

FADE TO BLACK.

FADE IN: EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - EARLY MORNING

We're FLYING above suburban America, DESCENDING SLOWLY toward a tree-

lined street.

LESTER (V.O.)
My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood. This is my street.
This... is my life. I'm forty-two years old. In less than a year, I'll
be dead.

INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

We're looking down at a king-sized BED from OVERHEAD:

LESTER BURNHAM lies sleeping amidst expensive bed linens, face down,
wearing PAJAMAS. An irritating ALARM CLOCK RINGS. Lester gropes blindly
to shut it off.

LESTER (V.O.)
Of course, I don't know that yet.

He rolls over, looks up at us and sighs. He doesn't seem too thrilled

at the prospect of a new day.

LESTER
And in a way, I'm dead already.

There it is. It's not a line, but the way the writer puts lines and scenes together.
Notice the first scene (1/2 page) sets up a potential murder. Then Lester tells us that
he'll be dead in less than a year. Those two create intrigue and story questions -- Did
they kill him? If so, how? And why? If not, who did? And why is Lester so okay with
it?

So the first page intrigued me. But there was much more. Again, the writer pours
character into each line of dialogue. Jane's lines are filled with character. Lester's are
filled with death and apathy.
The other thing that this writer does extremely well is twist his dialogue. Lester tells
us about his neighborhood, his life, his age, then the twist -- he'll be dead in a year.

What I knew from that first page was that Lester's daughter was embarrassed,
disgusted, and dissatisfied by who he was and even discussed killing him. Lester was
unhappy with his life and didn't seem to mind that someone killed him a year later.
And I knew that we were going to discover the answers to all of the story questions
listed above.

By the end of the first page, I was intrigued enough to want to travel with Lester
through his life and to his death.

BULL DURHAM

The opening of BULL DURHAM is one of my favorites. On the DVD, writer/director,

Ron Shelton, said:

"I figured that I have to start with a woman whose compelling

monologue will so attract an audience that they will be willing to
follow her anywhere."

That is the way a professional screenwriter thinks. Now, let's see what he did with it
and at what point I decided to read the entire script.

From BULL DURHAM

A WALL COVERED WITH BASEBALL PICTURES behind a small table covered with
objects and lit candles. A baseball, an old baseball card, a broken
bat, a rosin bag, a jar of pine tar--

also a peacock feather, a silk shawl, a picture of Isadora Duncan.

Clearly, the arrangement is--

A SHRINE -- And it glows with the candles like some religious altar.

We hear a woman's voice in a North Carolina accent.

ANNIE (V.O.)
I believe in the Church of Baseball.
(beat)
I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones--I've
worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and
Isadora Duncan...
PAN AWAY FROM THE SHRINE across the room. Late afternoon light spills
into the room, across fine old furniture, to a small dressing table. A
WOMAN applies make up.

ANNIE SAVOY, mid 30's, touches up her face. Very pretty, knowing,
outwardly confident. Words flow from her Southern lips with ease, but
her view of the world crosses Southern, National and International
borders. She's cosmic.

There! When he said "She's cosmic." Again, half a page sells the entire script. It is
the description, the dialogue, the metaphors (Church of Baseball, etc), the character,
and I enjoy it so much that you've got to keep reading just to see how amazing this
first page is.

ANNIE (V.O. CONT'D)

I know things. For instance--
(beat)
There are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary. And--
(beat)
There are 108 stitches in a baseball. (beat)
When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.
(beat)
But it just didn't work out between us The Lord laid too much guilt on
me. I prefer metaphysics to theology.
(beat)
You see, there's no guilt in baseball...and it's never boring.

ANNIE OPENS A CLOSET DOOR -- Dozens of shoes hang from the door. She
chooses a pair of RED HIGH HEELS, with thin straps.

She sits on a bench and

ANNIE (V.O.)
Which makes It like sex.
(beat)
There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best
year of his career.
(beat)
Making love is like hitting a baseball-- you just got to relax and
concentrate.
ANNIE SLIPS ON THE RED HIGH HEELS -- Smoothing her hands up her calves
as she does.

ANNIE (V.O.)
Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250 unless he had
a lot of R.B.I.'s or was a great glove man up the middle.
(beat)
A woman's got to have standards.

If I hadn't decided to read the entire script earlier, I would have by this point. The
way he weaves baseball, religion, and sex in Annie's dialogue tells us that we're in
the hands of a master. It tells us that we're going to be entertained and satisfied
throughout this script. That is the message you want to give to anyone who reads a
single page of your script, isn't it?

One more, just to have you see how a boring Senate Hearing can be turned into a
fascinating first page.

G.I. JANE

While this movie was a High Concept, I didn't really care to read all about women or
men in the military. But once again, the first page sold me on reading the entire
script.

INT. SENATE HEARING ROOM - CAPITOL BLDG. - DAY

Blinding in their white uniforms, naval flag officers sit in the

audience, showing their support for THEODORE HAYES, a 50- year-old
civilian. This is his confirmation hearing.

Reading from prepared material:

HAYES
... last few years have brought many advances in the interests of women
in naval service, particularly in the land-based maritime specialties.

What's more, the Navy has instituted special sensitivity courses with
an eye on --

DEHAVEN
Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Land-based maritime specialties." Gimme a second
here to de-euphemize that...
At the center of a dais, LILLIAN DEHAVEN leans back to ponder the
ceiling of the hearing room. Her plaque card reads "CHAIRPERSON --
SENATE ARMS COMMITTEE." DeHaven is a tough- hided old Southern belle,
Scarlett O'Hara at 60.

In her arsenal she carries conversational hand-grenades -- and she's

apt to pull a pin at the slightest whim.

DEHAVEN
Would that be anything like "typing"? "Restocking the cupboards"? That
sort of thing, Mr. Hayes?

CHUCKLES from the packed gallery. The flag officers go stone- faced.
Hayes forces a smile.

HAYES
Hardly the case, Senator.

DEHAVEN
Well, I'm just an old dame without much time left, so you'll pardon me
if I jump right in here before they discontinue my blood-type. I am
deeply concerned over the Navy's seemingly incontrovertible attitude
toward women in the military. Case in point...

On cue, aides begin distributing reports to other members of the dais.

Hayes gets a copy, too. And it jars him.

DEHAVEN
"The Lark Report."

The first line that really caught my attention was:

In her arsenal she carries conversational hand-grenades -- and

she's apt to pull a pin at the slightest whim.

Then Dehaven's dialogue. She's feisty, in his face, and unique in her expression. But
what had me decide to read the entire script was how this lady ambushed Hayes at
his confirmation hearing. That told me that we were in for a great story.

The writer could have taken 10 pages explaining all the backstory or reasons why
Dehaven would have done this, but instead exploded it on the screen in one page.
For this movie, it was the perfect opening.
HOW CAN YOU DO THE SAME?

Here are some tips that will help you get a reader to decide to read your entire script
on the first page.

1. Make dramatic statements with your dialogue, action, and scenes that
intrigue us.
2. Make sure every sentence pays off in some way.
3. Pour character into every line of dialogue.
4. Create story questions with your opening scenes.
5. Give us conflict on Page one!

Basically, it all comes down to great writing. Give the reader great writing on the
first page and they'll trust you to give them great writing in the rest of the script.

How to Query Production Companies

Over the last year, we've received about 200 query letters and
have found some to be inspiring, some to be shocking and some
caused us to laugh out loud -- unintentionally.

Believe it or not, I've had emails sent to me from four different

screenwriters who used this approach:

>Hi Hal,
>
>I'm desperate to get my script read. What do I need to do to >get my script into your
hands?
>
>John

I'm sure that writer would like to get their script read, but they forgot
to use their writing skill to write an amazing query letter. If anything
gives you credibility, it is the quality of your writing.

As I said above, next week, we'll be introducing our new production

company and the system to consider your scripts. Even if you
don't want to query us, this article may assist you in increasing
your chances of getting your script requested.

First, an important word that should describe your marketing

materials...
Lure: Anything that entices, tempts, or attracts with the
promise of gaining a pleasure or reward. Bait.

Here's a word you don't want associated with your query:

Repellent: Causing distaste or aversion; repulsive.

You want your query letter to attract, not repel. Here are a few "Do's"
and "Don'ts" for the three parts of a good query letter, which are:

1. The logline
2. The synopsis
3. Your bio

The key to each of these is to show the marketability of your script

without saying the words "It is marketable because..."

Keep in mind, the "Marketing Your Screenplay" program spends five

days on creating marketing materials. So this won't give you all the
information you need on marketing materials, but it will cover some
parts that need to be there for you to be successful.

ON LOGLINES:

1. DO write your logline or concept in a way that creates as much

interest as you can.

DON'T write it as a "Poster line." A line like "Three minutes from

death. What do you do?" could describe a scene in a thousand
stories. It works fine to start out a synopsis, but not as the
logline.

2. DO give away the story. DON'T be vague.

This one is important. Too many loglines go like this:

"A confused bride returns to her hometown to resolve

the biggest issue in her life -- how she got married."

Do you have any idea what happens in that story? I don't. It is

vague and leaves us confused.
Usually, this happens either because the writer is trying to maintain
some sense of mystery about what happens in the story. But it has
the opposite effect. It causes anyone in the business to think you
can't tell a story.

When I took my first job in a production company, I was told to

toss loglines like that in the trash.

My advice: Give away the best part in the logline.

"A confused bride tries to gather evidence against the

in-laws who drugged and forced her into marriage, but
changes her mind when she falls in love with her
husband's brother."

Don't worry about whether that is a great story or not. Just notice
that you know what the story is about. Do you see that? So a
producer knows you know how to tell a story. That is important.

3. DO get to the essence. DON'T include needless details.

The logline needs to give us the story without a lot of details. In the
logline above, notice that we haven't included info about the character's
background, who the husband is, why she was drugged, why the
in-laws want her married, or another thousand details.

WHAT GOES INTO A SYNOPSIS?

You have a few paragraphs to deliver all of this.

 Essence of the story.

 Main story line.
 Main conflict.
 Imply beginning, middle, and end.
 Characters that will appeal to stars.

DO tell it in the most compelling way you possibly can.

DO use emotionally loaded words that deliver depth of experience to

the reader.

DO give us some lead characters that A-list actors will want to play.
DON'T give any details that aren't appealing or intriguing.

WHAT GOES INTO A BIO?

Your bio goes at the end of the letter and presents credibility for
why you are the perfect person to write this story.

DO tell about any contests you've won or placed in.

DO tell if you're already a produced writer.

DO tell about any unique skills or background you have that

qualifies you to tell this story.

Example for a gambling movie:

"Besides winning two Nevada Screenwriting Contests,

I'm a three-time finalist at the World Championships of
Poker held in Las Vegas."

In one sentence, we discover two reasons why this writer could be

the perfect writer of a script on gambling -- contest wins and inside
knowledge of the poker industry.

DON'T do any of the following:

 say you're desperate.

 beg
 say anything crazy
 tell about the bills you have
 say you're going to quit screenwriting if we don't buy your
script.
 tell us about your masters degree or PhD unless it pertains to
the story or it is in screenwriting.

When you write your next query letter or any other marketing
materials, remember to present your highest quality writing and
lure the reader into contacting you for your script.

Present yourself as an attractive person to do business with. Show

how your story is marketable and how you're the perfect person to
write this story. Be brief, precise, and write powerfully.
Do that and you'll increase your chances dramatically.

Raising the Marketability of a Character-

driven Story

One of the most satisfying things to write is a great

character-
driven story. When you delve deep into the psyches of
characters
and watch them make the tough decisions, it can be
absolutely
fascinating...

But is it marketable? Can you sell it?

Producers say they want great character pieces. Actors talk

about how they chose a script because they loved the
characters.
But most of Hollywood won't even look at a script by an
unproduced writer that doesn't have a highly marketable
concept.

Here's the problem: Producers and actors all know that

any story
ultimately has to be brought down to 30 second
commercials and
two minute trailers. If a studio can't sell the movie in a 30
second commercial, it loses $10 million to $100 million.

What's the solution?

"It is so hard to find things that are unique and

fresh. I can't tell you how many variations of the
Matrix I've read. Try to find a new way of telling
the genre. There are ways to take an old story and
find a fresh way of telling it."
Tom Cohen
Lightstorm Entertainment (James Cameron)

So the key is to create a concept around those great

characters
that is marketable and does get the attention of producers,
actors, agents, etc. What's wrong with having both great
characters and a great concept? Who knows, you may
start a
valuable trend that takes Hollywood by storm.

Let me give you three ways to create more marketable

concepts
around your characters. These are a few of the techniques
from
the HIGH CONCEPT SELLS class.

A. FIND THE HOOK OF THE STORY

Many times, the "hook" of the story will not be so obvious

to
its writer. Why? Because we get bogged down in all the
details.
You need to search through the story looking for what will
sell
it.

Ask questions like:

 What is it about this story that makes it

fascinating?
 What is the most interesting/unique part of this
story?

ERIN BROCKOVICH could be told as a woman who

struggles with a
decision between love and career. That is one possible
description of the story, but it wouldn't sell it.

But as a true story about a trailer trash woman who kicks

the
shit out of a major power company and wins a multi-
million dollar
lawsuit against them, it is appealing to producers and
actors.

REMEMBER THE TITANS could be told as two coaches who

fight for
control of a football team. But again, that wouldn't sell.

But it is marketable as a story about how two coaches, a

White
and a African-American, bring a racially divided town
together by
getting the students to co-operate on the football field and
win
a State Championship.

Just look deeply into your character-driven story and see if

there is a hook in there that will intrigue a producer.

B. CHANGE THE SETTING

Sometimes, you can switch the setting and it will make a

major
change in the marketability of a story. You can still tell
your
character-driven story, but it is in a setting that makes the
story much easier to pitch.

Here's a few questions that will help you:

 Where could this story be told that would double

the
interest?
 What setting will most contrast this story, thereby
creating the most conflict?

EXAMPLE: A hit man struggles with a relationship while

tracking
his prey. That story could be an interesting character-
drama, or
you can put it to a in a High School reunion in the hitman's
home
town and you've got a marketable story called Grosse
Pointe Blank.

SECOND EXAMPLE: A woman fights to be treated on an

equal level
to the men around her. In the corporate world, this would
be a
dull story, but make the setting the SEAL team selection
process
and you have a high concept script called GI JANE.

C. PUT YOUR CHARACTER STORY INSIDE A LARGER/MORE

UNIQUE STORY

When you see a well written High Concept story, it is

sometimes
because the High Concept was built around great
characters,
instead of the other way around.

Try brainstorming answers to this question:

 What larger story could my character story be part

of
that would highlight my original story?

EXAMPLE: An 0lder man about to retire tries to keep up in

relationship with a young woman obsessed with her career.
Put
that relationship story inside a story about the media going
crazy and you've got NETWORK.

EXAMPLE TWO: A rich kid tries to fit in by hanging with the

poor kids. Use him to tell the Viet Nam war story and
you've
got PLATOON.

----------------------

LET'S TRY OUR OWN EXAMPLE:

Let's say you want to explore how a homeless man could

struggle
to establish a life while hiding his situation from those
around
him. How might that look as we use the three formats
above to
brainstorm ideas for a story?

A. Find the Hook:

 How does a homeless man find a decent job and

gain back
 the trust of his family?
 He is in relationship with a woman from a wealthy
and
prominent family.

B. Change the setting:

 - Political arena: Homeless guy runs for Mayor.

 Corporate world: With a work history of organizing
and
running the shelter while he lived there, he
mistakenly
gets offered a Vice President job at a major
corporation. How does he deal with the two weeks
before he gets a paycheck?

C. Put your character drama inside a larger/more

unique story.

 The homeless guy is a witness to a politician

committing
a major crime, but realizes he has no credibility
and
must build a case and a life before going public.
 Our homeless guy is an ex-poker player. A Mafia
guy
agrees to back him in a game and half way
through the
game, the homeless guy discovers that the Mafia
guy is
cheating the other players and will most likely kill
him after the game to keep this quiet.

All together, it took about 15 minutes to generate those

ideas.
If I were truly committed to this story, I'd run it through
the
other nine High Concept formats to brainstorm as many
ideas as
necessary to come up with a great concept.

Ultimately, this would provide both a great character story

and
a great concept that is marketable.
 The Requirements for Your
Marketing Materials

You've spent over six months writing your screenplay. Every word
is exactly the way you want and you're proud of that script.

Now what?

Now, you write your marketing materials.

For some, the thought of marketing a script is horrifying or even

repulsive. But if you want to see your story in theaters or on TV,
you need to sell it to a production company. And that means you
need to market it somehow.

For most writers, marketing will consist of sending query letters and
attending pitch-fests where you can talk one-on-one with someone
from a production company. Others of you will have the nerve to
make phone calls. And a few will actually network with industry
players.

Any of those strategies can work...if you present yourself and your
script powerfully.

And that is the big problem.

Stay with me here. I really am trying to help. But the truth is that
in the time that I worked for production companies and in the time
that Cheryl and I have been considering projects, less than 10% of
the marketing documents were written in a compelling manner.

Whichever marketing strategy you use, you'll need a powerful

logline, a short synopsis, a One-Page that gives an overview
of your story, a compelling verbal pitch and maybe a query letter.

I'll give you the short version of the requirements for marketing
documents. If you want more, check out the class below where
we spend almost a month preparing you for the market.

THE REQUIREMENTS

1. Sell the project by telling the story powerfully.

This is important. The purpose of marketing materials is to sell
the reader on requesting the script. And you need to do it in a
very specific way -- by telling your story powerfully.

Often, I hear writers complain that they can't tell their 110 page
story in just one page or one paragraph or even in one sentence.
That's because they just don't know how. There is an art to this
and once know it, your materials will deliver the impact of your
story powerfully and that will get the script requested.

2. Your story SHOUTS marketability without you saying "This is a

marketable story because..."

For many, this doesn't make sense. How do I tell that my story
is marketable without saying it. You do it by telling the part of your
story that makes it marketable.

Remember, the producer is always evaluating marketability. In this

business environment, no one can afford to make a movie that has
no chance of returning the investment.

In the class, I present 9 different ways a producer can tell if a

project is marketable. These are things that a producers are
constantly looking for in a story. Really, they are things that
appeal to an audience and will draw someone in to see a movie.

For example, stories that are about the FIRST or the LAST person
to do something are more compelling than stories about the other
30,000 who did the same thing. If you have a first or a last, make
sure it shows up in the first few lines of your marketing documents.

In choosing the words you use to tell your story, it is easy to

show it as a marketable story. Just select words that SHOUT
marketability.

3. Your opening sentence hooks the reader in and the final sentence
compels the reader to request the script.

No preambles, no needless details, no explanations about what

the letter is. I've seen too many letters that start with some version
of:
"I've just completed my third script and I would like to
send it to you for consideration."

Instead, the opening sentence should say:

"In less than three hours, Jeremy Waite will die with
the only eye-witness evidence to the President's murder
and the American public will cheer as they watch his
execution on TV."

Something like that will hook a reader into reading the rest of the
story. It makes you wonder how he got in that spot, what evidence
he has, and why the American public is going to cheer. Even more
important, it creates curiosity about how Jeremy might escape
this terrible fate.

If your opening sentence hooks the reader, they'll read your query
letter. If it doesn't hook them, well, you know what happens.

4. The reader knows the story once they've read the document.

One of the easiest ways to make sure your script is not requested
is to give a vague ending in an attempt to create mystery.

Someone told screenwriters that if you withhold the ending and say
something vague about it, it will intrigue the reader enough for them
to call. Here's a quote from Cheryl that is shared by many producers.

"If a story is interesting, it will stand on its own and I will

call. But mystery doesn't work. I just don't have enough
time to call 100 writers to ask them what their story is
about."

Please make sure you understand this. Production companies get

hundreds of pitches a week. Some in query letter form, some over the
phone. Nobody I know in Hollywood has time to ask what a story is
about. Either you tell them what the story is about in your marketing
materials or they delete it.

In both of the production companies that I worked for early in my

career, they instructed me to toss vague query letters in the trash.
So please, make sure your materials give enough of your story for
someone to really get your story.
If you make sure these four requirements are met, your marketing
materials will have a much greater chance of getting script requests.

And of course, if you really want to master this process, join us

for the marketing class below and you'll be shocked at what a
difference it will make when producers read your marketing materials.

Want Representation?

Here's the scenario: You meet a manager or agent. Maybe it is at

a pitch-fest, screenwriting conference, Sherwood Oaks event, or
through friend of a friend. But there you are, face-to-face with one
of those people who can put your career in high gear.

Now, the question is "What will make this a good fit?"

There are things you need from this manager/agent and things they
need from you. Remember, you're entering a business relationship
and both parties need to get value out of it. Just as important, this
manager/agent is about to put their reputation on the line for you.
So they want to know that you're a good business risk.

And of course, both the writer and manager/agent want to have more
success because of working together. But the more attractive you
can make yourself (from a business perspective), the better your
chance at getting and keeping a manager/agent.

Here's three keys to your success:

1. You need to be ready.

2. You need to be prepared for a collaborative relationship.

3. You need to manage yourself.

I can already see hundreds of writers swearing and punching their

computer screen. Especially because of numbers 1 and 3. But
stay with me because this is important stuff. The stronger you
are when you get representation, the more success you'll have.

Let's look at those three keys:

1. You need to be ready.

Everyone I talk to says they are ready for representation, but in
reality, most aren't. And this is very important. If you're not truly
ready, you'll burn contacts, frustrate anyone you work with, and
experience a lot of disappointment.

Answer these questions to see if you're ready:

A. Do you have at least one highly marketable project

that is professionally written?

B. Is your writing skill at a professional level? By that,

I mean at a level that is consistent with produced
screenplays that are exceptional.

Key advice: Don't compare your work to the worst

writing, compare it to the best.

C. Do you understand enough about the business side

of screenwriting to interact as a professional?

Understanding the business means you won't be

obvious mistakes or crazy demands that will kill
future deals.

Why does all of this matter? Because a manager/agent is in the

business of promoting marketable writers and marketable scripts.

If the answer is "no" to any of those questions, you still have some
work to do.

STRATEGY 1. Prepare yourself so thoroughly that any manager or

agent will feel lucky to represent you.

2. You need to be prepared for a collaborative relationship.

Collaboration is an important part of this business. While the

process starts with a single person (the writer), by the end, there
are hundreds of creative and business people involved.

Many of those people bring something of value to the table and in

some cases, they can dramatically improve the movie. And in
others, they won't. But the reality of the business is that the more
collaborative you are, the more likely people will want to work with
you in the future.

Collaboration goes both ways. You present your ideas, reasons,

etc. and you listen to those of the producer.

When you turn in a script, you've just presented a blueprint that

will be used to make a $5 - $100 million movie. Important decisions
will now be made by producers, directors, actors, and about 200
other collaborators.

If you don't understand collaboration, it will seem like people are

ripping your script apart. On the other hand, if you go in prepared
to collaborate with other industry pros (and you will be considered
an industry pro if you collaborate), you'll enjoy having all of this
feedback and the amazing learning experience that can come from
it.

STRATEGY 2: Think of your finished script as the beginning of

the collaborative process of the movie-making process and welcome
the changes while continually working to make the script/movie
even better.

In the next issue, we'll discuss the most important of the three keys
to your success with an Agent/Manager -- managing yourself.
While that may sound contradictory, it's not and the better you are
at managing yourself, the easier it will be to get a manager/agent
to go out of their way for you.

Want Representation? Part Two

Over the last two years of managing writers, Cheryl and I have seen
the good, the bad, and the ugly. Most of our clients, we're in love
with. We talk with them often, plan out project, give our notes
on their work and market their projects to Hollywood.

What makes it work is that we all have a clear understanding of

what we're doing, what each parties obligations are, and how we'll
deal with problems when they come up.

One of the most important of those is understanding the process

a manager might use to promote your project.
Here's our process:

OBJECTIVE: Create a career for the client.

STEPS:

1. Start with a highly marketable project that is well written.

2. Create marketing materials that are appealing.

3. Pitch to production companies that specialize in the genre

and type of project we're marketing.

4. Follow up with the production companies to get feedback

and/or make a deal.

5. Repeat the process with subsequent projects until a deal is made.

Many times, the first project gets passed on, but the production
company will say they're happy to look at projects from this writer
again. That's what we want to see. It means we've already started
establishing a reputation for the writer. It also means there will be a
more favorable read on the next project.

Marketing to production companies is more of a long term process.

You get in the door with a great project. It may or may not sell. But
it creates a reputation. With each project thereafter, that reputation
grows and sooner or later, a sale occurs.

Truth is, it is an emotional roller-coaster. In a period of a month,

you can go from excited (we just got it into your favorite actor's
production company) to depressed (22 companies passed on the
project) to elated (an offer is being presented) to angry (they want
another writer to rewrite it) to pleased (but they want to buy your
other script, too). And all during this process, you need to
maintain a healthy relationship with your manager.

Now, I can already hear someone screaming "Bullsh--, they need

to maintain a relationship with me!" And you're right, both parties
need to maintain healthy relationships. But there is one other
thing to consider. Until a sale is made, that manager/agent is
working for free to better your career...and they have hundreds of
potential clients standing right outside their door waiting to take
your place.

STRATEGY: Interact with your manager as if he or she is the

most important person in your life.

You may think this is self-serving, like I want people to treat me

better, but it is not. My clients and I get along amazingly well.
But I've seen too many other writers join the "bitter writer's club"
and complain constantly about their manager/agent. A better use
of their time would be to establish a strong relationship, create
a plan, and implement their part of that plan.

STRATEGY: If you don't have a plan, get together with your

manager and create one.

It doesn't have to be a perfectly outlined military-style plan. It

could as easy as two sentences, stating what you do and what
they do. But if you have a plan, you can take actions toward
success.

KNOW THE AGREEMENT

Make sure you know the agreement up front. What are they going to
do? Do they expect you to market and they mainly provide advice?
Do they want you to show up for a certain amount of industry
functions? Are they going to send you out for meetings?

Example: Cheryl and I market projects. But we are unwilling to

pitch projects that we don't believe fit our market. So we've had two
clients who have written scripts that we told them in advance we
wouldn't market. We also aren't willing to send out anything we don't
believe is ready for the market. Sometimes, that means rewrite after
rewrite. But when the project gets in the hands of a producer, it
shines!

On the other hand, some managers just give advice and set you up
with meetings. They manage your career, with you marketing your
material.

If you are absolutely clear on the agreement up front, nobody feels

cheated. And most of the time, you can clear up any confusion
about the agreement with just a few questions. So do it.