Aedrian Joshua O.

De Castro September 03, 2020

1CMT Theology 1
Search for True Happiness
A. In what way can I encounter God as my absolute happiness in this time of pandemic?
I can’t say that I can encounter happiness that is truly absolute in this time of
pandemic. However, I still experienced moments that made me happy, even if it’s just
temporary. Many people think happiness is some ethereal state of being—one that they
wish to be perpetual. I don’t think that’s what happiness is. Happiness is an emotion, like
anger or dread. No emotion is permanent, nor should it be. Spending time with my loved
ones during the quarantine brought me happiness. Watching our dog play brought me
happiness. Watching a beautiful film brought me happiness. Eating a delicious meal with
some nice beverage brought me happiness. But as much as I experienced being happy, I
also felt other emotions. The struggles of the underprivileged during the pandemic made
me gloomy. The government’s response to the pandemic made me upset. Overall, this
time of uncertainty left us all a feeling of anxiety. Although, every now and then, we
experience mundane things that make us feel a little better, like how our mothers greet us
every morning or how we treat each other over the dinner table. These little moments, as
mundane as they may be, are pristine. These moments, after all, are not that little, and I’m
very grateful to God for letting me experience them.

B. Where is God in my own journey right now?

There is no definitive and discernible way to know where God is in my journey in
this time. But I think it can be intuited if I simply think that his presence never left. That
idea alone is comforting. While I perceive happiness to be something fleeting since to be
alive means to experience all emotions we are capable of, there is this perpetual desire
within me for something more than what is. It happens whenever I am alone and quiet,
possibly staring at nothing or being moved by a particular piece of music. I get this sense
of order, of completeness that only lasts a few moments. It’s a feeling that is nebulous,
somewhere between grief and pure joy. It seems as if it is just around the corner, giving
me short peeks once in a while. I think it is a hint at possibility of happiness that we will
never achieve here on earth. A hint at what could be to come. A hint of hope. If I had to
make a guess, that’s probably where God is in my journey right now.

C. How can I help others realize that God is our absolute Happiness?
As one’s journey to absolute happiness is a personal one, there is only so much
that I can do. I will be present whenever anyone needs me. I will also strive to bring
moments of joy to the people closest to me, even if it is fleeting. By doing this, I will be
able to give them the same hint at the possibility of absolute happiness that I felt. A hint
of the same hope. I don’t imagine I’ll live forever, but I hope that the things I do will
outlast my physical presence. After I’m gone, I hope people will get inspired by the
words I wrote, the short films I made, or anything I crafted. Even though I know those
things won’t last forever either, it still feels nice to make a ripple in a pond.