Aedrian Joshua O.

De Castro August 23, 2020

1CMT Theology 1

Jesus as the Good Teacher

Question: When was the last time you realized Jesus was teaching you, how, and why? Give a concrete
example!

This is a hard question. It really is. I have been constantly thinking about what I am supposed
to write here. This has been sitting in my mind in the past hours and, as I am writing this, I am still
not sure of what I should say. It is very hard to make sense of the question, especially for someone
who is skeptical about religion. This is precisely why I have decided to just tell what I experienced
recently. I am not sure if it was God that lead me to it or it was just a thing that happens when you’re
alive, but I still learned something.
On a rainy day during the quarantine, I heard a faint high- pitched sound just outside our house.
As I walk towards the source of the sound, I found four kittens squirming in the dirt. They were hiding
under a shed, but I decided not to go near them in case their mother was around. I passed by that area
several times over a couple of days and never noticed a mother cat. Then, I saw them lying outside
the shed, listless, and on top of each other. When I came up to them, they didn't stir too much, so I
figured they had been abandoned and finally decided to foster them. I was originally going to take
them to an animal shelter, but after cleaning them up and holding them for a while to feed them, I
knew I'd wind up keeping them.
I named the kittens Garfield, Bubastis, Barnabas, and Catsimus, and put all of them in a
cardboard box covered with cloth. I gave them a source of heat. I fed them every two hours. I rubbed
their genitals with tissue to let them pee. In just a few days, I grew attached to them. Even though it
was a lot of effort, caring for animals feels nice. However, after two weeks, the kittens became weak.
Garfield’s cry became quiet, followed by Bubastis, then Barnabas, then Catsimus. One by one, they
bit the dust. Each day, I buried a kitten. This might seem shallow compared to the loss of others since
they are just animals, but that experience moved me to know despair. At that moment, I understood
that despair wasn’t the loving each other and knowing you could never be together. It wasn’t waking,
with them dead, and you, all too alive. Despair was the way your fingers shook. It was the stammer,
and the thickness of your tongue as you tried to speak. It was the sound of dirt as it hit the shovel. It
was knowing that you would never get another chance.
 As silly as this may be, the death of those little kittens lead me to ask questions. Why isn’t there
a space in heaven for animals? Why do we hurt? Why do we die? Why isn’t life good all the time? Why
isn’t it fair? These questions might sound stupid to some, but for others, they’re the only questions
that matter. I can’t answer all of them, but I think some of it are probably just contrasts. Light and
shadow. If you never had the bad times, how would you know you had the good times? Or maybe it’s
just what it is. If you're going to be human, then there are a whole bunch of things that come with it,
like eyes, a heart, days, and a lifetime. Maybe the death of others is a reminder for people too busy
living to stop and notice they’re alive. And when they notice it, it makes the rest of it matter. Anyway,
I am still not sure if it was God that lead me to know death and despair or they are just things that
happen when you’re alive.