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Comic opens with series of shots showing the 4 sleeping Nar: There are many people upon this lonely little planet. Of these many people come their many different dreams. However, some special few awaken from those dreams. This is their story... On the final line we have the 4 way split shot of all 4 heads pointing in towards the center the next page is a close up of Meatbot's open eye with the title "Awakenings" somewhere on the page. >>> INTRO REWRITE Show view of the cosmos, lots of stars and weird shit, the Milky Way is almost centered and large enough to make out but doesn't dominate the view Narr: In this universe, there are many lives... View zooms in to show spiral arm of milky way where Earth is, we can make out lots of stars and a few planets, use your imagination Narr: These many lives are scattered across the cosmos, like the brilliant pinpricks they surround... Zooms in again to show the solar system, artsy shot of Earth from moon w/ sun in background Narr: In these many lives, there are many dreams. Most persist in these dreams all their lives. But a few, a particular few, escape. This is their... Title shot, Narrator's last word "Awakenings" used as the title, this is the four way split I was talking about earlier >>> Feel free to redo this intro, let me know if you want me to rewrite the dialogue, this is just my idea for now ((So is Awaken going to be our official title? Maybe there doesn't need to be an intro meaning the narrator not the imagery)) >>> This is true... I guess just go with what you think looks best for the comic. Maybe come up with an intro and we'll decide if we want it or not? Or do we just throw the reader into the story? As far as the title goes... I dunno. Depends on what we do with the intro
>>> Corrected back to Awakenings; I like your idea, the rehashed Intros have seemed a little forced to me. Think I'll be able to use the original 3 para intro at some point? Meatbot awakens to whispers in the woods around his campfire, odd twinkle in his eye Voice1: He's over here somewhere. Come on *Twig snaps* V1: Careful now! Voice 2: Shhh! Just hurry up and move in ((for mooks I've been thinking about making them super cartoony trolls, menbeasts, whatever weird shit pops into my head at the time)) >>> That's actually fucking perfect for what I was thinking of. I mostly wanted random shit from everywhere or nowhere Meatbot's Inner Dialogue: It’s good to be alive… >>> should MB be silent? I think so... >>> Ever seen Shogun Assassin? That motherfucker never says a word and he's a one man unstoppable army! A fucking killing MACHINE!
MB gets up quietly and fades into the shadows >>> Meatbot sleeps in tree? Three men creep to the clearing, a series of close ups shows them using hand signals to communicate The boss (V2) points to V1 and V3, signaling for them to charge the camp V1 and V3 rush in quickly, then plunge their weapons deep into the bedroll They stop, looking confused as they realize the bedroll is empty V1: oh shiMB crashes a hammer fist down on top of V1's skull as he drops out of the trees above V3 rushes MB, swinging his sword at him but is intercepted by the body of V1 being thrown at him by MB MB rushes V3 as he begins to recuperate and delivers a flying kick to his throat The boss lunges out of the woods next to MB when he lands, brandishing a blade ***DROP THIS*** A bright light suddenly shines down from the sky, startling MB MB looks up, reacting to the glare and catches a glimpse of something floating above him, staring up at it, he is able to make out the barely discernible figure of Norman sleeping in his bed. V2 throws an Ax/dagger/arrow/something at MB, catching him unawares and giving him a long gash across his cheek. Norman jolts awake, grasping his cheek where the weapon hit him, blood seeps down his arm and neck/shoulder from the wound Norman's Wife: Are you up yet Norman? I'm making breakfast now. Norman: Ye-yeah. Just a minute... Norman looks back at his hand, the blood now gone and the wound healed Norman says quietly while staring at his hand: what the … ***CHANGE*** MB looks down at his bloody hand, the body of the boss (V2) is visible in the background, writhing but we can’t hear his moans and blood runs down from his wound. MB stops and leans in close to the boss, we hear the boss screaming now, one arm and both legs are broken, ribs are protruding through his skin and his face is only partially recognizable Boss: You’ll never find it! It was never meant for someone like you! You’re not even fucking human, you soulless, fetid pile of festering dingo kidney! MB grabs his face tightly with one hand, standing up and lifting his limp body from the ground, the boss weakly trying to fight with his one good arm MB: Now… you’re going to tell me everything I want to hear, because if I don’t…. Boss: What? You’ll kill me?! You’ve already killed me, fucker! MB: There’s still worse than death you stupid shit… Boss whimpers and stutters
Boss: It’s… it’s on a mountain… MB: Which? Norman walks into the kitchen, dressed in business attire and approaches the table where his plate is already set Wife: Did you sleep well, Norman? You look a little out of it... Norman: Yeah... I just keep having the weirdest dreams... They feel so real. Wife: Well don't you worry about them. They're just dreams Norman: But what if they're not? (A look of concern is on his face as his wife smiles at him in a sort of stepfordish kind of way) Wife: Hmm, you say something? Norman: No, never mind... (looks back to his meal and begins to eat, close up of raising fork to his mouth) Norman mutters: What a weird day… >>> NORMAN SCENE: Witnesses weird shit, can't find cigarette, smokes used butt from trash >>> Revised Norman: Norman's eyes slowly open as he lays in bed Norman thinks: guh... hello? Sits up and looks around, rubs eyes N's thought: Hi... It's morning... I think Looks blearily at clock, says 7.18am N's thought: Yes... Morning. Bustles into the bathroom Camera still showing outside of the bathroom door, Norman's thought bubbles drifting out along with various sound effects N's thoughts: Wash? Kill the stench!... Shave? Eh... Fuck it. Just shave... Teeth? Brush. Bad breath bad. Norman walks back out, looking around room and rummaging through dresser for clothes N's thoughts: Pants... pants... pants. Pants! Fucking pants. Need a job where clothing is optional. Male prostitute? Starts to get dressed and camera cuts to kitchen, Norman blearily walking in N's thoughts: Food? Coffee? *prepping breakfast in the order he describes* Begins eating: Food. Feed the void. Coffee, thank fucking god. brief pause, silent shot of Norman eating
small thought bubble pops up N: Does god fuck? Cut to shot of chopsticks raising some rice into Brainchild's mouth BC Narrating: And yet another morning. I keep having this feeling like somewhere I'm living a completely different life (Camera showing BC in his Zen monastery) but I'm still exactly the same (scene changes to BC sitting inside some Stonehenge style religious structure, eating something out of a bowl) A hundred different people, and all of them are me. >>> STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS, What do you think of when eating breakfast...? (( Naw that's fine))
>>> Revised BC BC: Another morning... Spent so long searching, just have to keep trying... How many times have I eaten this same bowl of gruel? How many more times will I eat it? *drops a glob of gruel off of his spoon* Camera shows close up shot of some of the porridge/gruel stuff dripping off BC's spoon and dropping to his foot Scene changes to Gearhead's foot, some drool lands on it and startles him awake from sleeping with his head on his desk >>> Change this >>> need better transition >>> Revised Transition Camera shows close up of gruel dropping to ground Scene changes to show Gearhead's head falling to desk, use same angle and such to emphasize similarity of gruel/GH's head Gearhead looks around bleary eyed, sorts some of his papers slowly as he regains his composure, he finally gets up and leaves his lab, in the background there are boards and posters of the universe, long equations and the very beginning of some rudimentary sketches for his dimensional drill >>> REWRITE NOTES Gearhead walks back into his lab holding a pot of coffee, sipping from it as he approaches his work bench Camera goes to over his shoulder as he looks over his notes, re-reading what he had written last night Notes: Universal Constants (UC's) from various branches of physics have been moving further and further apart. Yet no matter how much more knowledge we gain, we end up with more and more UCs. There must be some connection between the UCs that binds all the branches of physics together. When we know this, it stands a very real possibility that we will know where our universe came from. When we have determined this, we should finally be able to bridge the gap between metaphysical spirituality and empirical science. I'm so close to the truth I can feel it. I just have to keep workinggggg (text becomes sloppy towards the end of the note and the g trails off in a line leading off the edge of the page and partially across his table) >>> Notes Revisioned: Notes: I'm so close, I can feel it. My entire professional life has been leading up to this... The more I look, the clearer the connections between all of the universe's branches of science become. It's like a labyrinth I'm wandering through and I just have to keep walking because the goal is the only destination I can reach. There are many turns and twists, deceiving intersections and such, but given enough time, I'll be there. I think it has something to do with black holes... Black holes have already brought together entropy, relativity and quantum mechanics, there's got to be one step further that unites everything, every last bit of knowledge we have in this
universe. I know it's there, I can smell it. I just have to keep workingggggg (text becomes sloppy at the end and trails off across the table) GH writes: “Note to self: Stronger Coffee” then cleans the markings off of the table. ((I think this one is much better)) ***DROP*** GH is startled by sudden shout Norman’s voice: HOLY ASSBALLS! GH looks quizzically up at his lab, the camera shifts from behind his head, showing him looking up but the lab and odd machinery are out of focus GH hears something in the background seemingly coming out of thing air Norman (very muffled and quiet): Who are you? Are you me? What the hell is going on?! Gearhead stares at a very small duct in the back of the lab GH thinks: I didn't think anyone else was here... ***DROP?*** Cut to Norman staring up at the sky, his head is in the same position as Gearhead’s The streets are crowded as he’s walking to work in the late morning, but the people bustle about him without even noticing he’s there. In the sky is a strange and vaguely recognizable object that appears to be him sleeping in bed, as Meatbot saw earlier. He stares at it as the people around him begin to fade out of his focus (existence) and watches himself jolt upright in bed and stare at his hand covered in blood. He blinks and is transported back into the kitchen, eating breakfast with his wife. Norman mutters: What a weird day… Cut to Meatbot as he burns the bodies of his enemies and treats his wound >>> Ignoring his wounds better? I think maybe yes... The fire crackles and blazes insidiously, In MB’s eyes a look of earnest is very apparent as he gathers his simple belongs, destroys his enemies weapons and leaves camp, the fire roaring behind him, show wide shot of MB walking down path, sun is rising as he approaches a distant village/city > Note, MB uses LOTS of visuals and LITTLE to no dialogue, think large panels and beautiful spreads for his normal activities and > clustered panels with frenzied action emphasized with chaotic spreads during action (please visit this page for some ideas I found on > Penny-Arcade website: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php? p=5990069#post5990069) > Also, Meatbot should collect lots of scars as he goes through the story MB approaches city... Cut to wide shot, same angle of Norman approaching office >>> What does Norman do?! Apparently he's the IT guy, architect of virtual world good parallel for architect of spiritual world? Walks to elevators and pushes a button mixed in the indeterminate collage of floors spread across
the panel (It's a very big office building, lots of floors.) >>> should some of the buttons go sideways? Maybe we could throw in some weird shit and have the characters treat it like an every day thing? Too far? I'm thinking his work mates are comprised of scores of mindless zombie drones, stepford looking same expression wearing mother fuckers and sort of neolithic caveman type guys for management? What do you think? ((I'm thinking of this one painting called the government office or something like that.)) >>> Know the artist's name or anything? Anyways, when the doors open, he's the only one in the elevator, by the way So he's standing alone in the elevator as it rises slowly, lots of groans and creaks reflecting his personal anxiety at having to go to his shit job The doors open to an Army of mindless zombie drones standing at their desks, staring at a clock posted at the head of the room as if it were an altar, the clock slowly, dramatically, ticks over as if it were giving it's last breath and marks 9am, in unison, everyone sits down and begins "working" To Norman, it appears as if they're all just sitting, staring at a blank computer screen Norman takes a single step out of the elevator and the moment his foot hits the floor a voice rings from off to his right, down a very important and darkly lit hallway Norman's Boss: Norman, come see me, please. I would like a WORD (emphasize the word, it's said with loathing) with you. Norman turns slowly, try for lots of dramatic shit to completely over play the scene and make it seem ridiculously trivial Norman: Yes Mr. Sheboygan. Just a minute, sir. *Norman walks down the hall into Mr. S's office* Is there something I can help you with Mr. Sheboygan? Mr. S: Now Norman, how long have you been working for me? *Norman begins to speak, but is instantly interrupted* Twelve years, I believe it is. And in those twelve years, how many times have you been late? *Norman again begins to speak but is cut off once more* It doesn't matter how many times. What matters is that you were late this time. Norman: BuMr. S: Now don't go making excuses. This company is built upon the dedicated and diligent work of all of its employees... (over emphasize the employees, it's said like em-Ploy-yeeeez, but weirder, with a sort of sneer said through clenched teeth at the end) *Norman looks out window of Boss's office and sees the sea of zombies still staring at their blank screens doing nothing, quizzical/befuddled look upon his face* Now we've been a hard working company for some time now... *voice trails off as Norman stares at clock behind Mr. S's head, shift to same view but clock is about 45 minutes ahead* ...I remember founding this company back in the great year of 1852... *clock now 3 hours ahead* ...And that is why we must exercise every ounce of our restraint not to give into the laziness llama. ((Norman's thought bubble: WTF)) Norman thinks to himself: What the *fuck...* (use a small, weird, font for "fuck", like he's forcing it out after having been punched in the gut) Slight pause as Norman regains composure, eyes all glazed over and shit, looks like he's had his ass kicked by a very mean, chain-smoking wife with weight problems and a penchant for meat tenderizers Norman: Yes, Mr. S. Is that all sir? Mr. S: *glares at Norman for asking this before responding* Yesss, that will be all for now. (yes is a snarl, now is very curt) Norman: Thank you Mr. S. I'll make sure it won't happen again. Norm trudges out of office and down the hall, by passing the room of silent, stoic zombie
workers. He goes to his office, the server/network room at the end of the hall The room is very over bearing, thinking influence of a sort of weird mix of Joe versus the volcano and our ideas for the visuals of the city from the Jungle, looming servers and those weird metal shelves with routers and switches surround his office and block the walls/windows. A single florescent light is his only light source remaining save the myriad of blinking demon-eye-looking LED's on the front of the electronics In short, his office is electronic hell Norman sets his stuff down on his desk and drops his jacket on the back of the chair, turning on his computer he sits down As Norman's face is illuminated by the glow of his monitor, he stares emptily at the screen, finally asking himself Norman: ...Why? ***DROP/CHANGE*** He stares at the screen for a short while as the computer screen remains blank, he blinks and looks closer, a small point of light sits in the center of his screen, as he leans in and looks closer, he notices it's a small, very slowly growing ring of light with a black as the devil's asshole center he stares at it more, his hair, tie and clothes are starting to be pulled in but he doesn't notice this, once he feels the tug, he quickly moves back just in time for his stapler to fly into the hole, straining to keep out of it, his head is slowly dragged in, maybe stretching as it enters Cut shot of Norman walking to work, we see him from the angle of his bed as he was walking to work this morning Norman’s Head: HOLY ASSBALLS! Norman Jumps, startled and stares up at the head as we saw him stare at the bed this morning N H: Who are you? Are you me? *Norman keeps staring* What the hell is going on? *Norman keeps staring* Cut to shot of Norman’s Office, another mindless zombie worker is placing files on Norman’s desk and speaking inaudibly about the weather, doesn’t notice what’s going on. Norman is struggling to keep the rest of his body from being sucked into the monitor Cut to Norman starring at Norman’s Head Norman’s Inner dialogue: What a weird day… Cut back to Office, Norman’s body is dragged into the monitor, he’s thrown down into himself on the street, being sucked into his eye as he slams into his own body Looks around, nobody reacts differently, Looks down at the gutter on the street and sees an old cigarette butt with a bit of the ember still glowing Grabs cigarette butt and takes a long hard drag on it Close up of cherry on end of cigarette glowing brightly ((that whole sequence was pretty confusing, please try to clarify)) >>> What I meant was that Norman gets sucked through the monitor into Norman's eye, Consolidated Norman staggers when Monitor Norman goes into his eye, he looks around, nobody even notices, he glimpses the cigarette and smokes it Cut to Meatbot sitting in opium den, embers on hookah glowing brightly as he drains the bowl in a single drag >>> Maybe have Norman’s Head appear to Meatbot instead? Meatbot stares at the wall, a waiter is standing off to the side of his vision, serving another patron. As he continues to stare, the drugs start taking effect, slowly the waiter looks at him and laughs,
his face morphing into the face of one of those pig cops from Duke Nukem Meatbot tries to stand up, but is subdued by the drugs, the pigcop floats effortlessly above MB ((I'll probably draw up something other than a pigcop)) >>> Just the first thing that popped in my head, have fun with it Pig Cop: You smoked too much… too fast… Gotta learn to pace yourself. I could kill you right now… Just reach down and slit your throat. You wouldn’t be able to do a thThe waiter’s voice is cut off as MB’s hand shoots up and grabs his wind pipe, a look of shock in the man’s eyes as his throat is ripped out effortlessly The waiter falls, gasping and gurgling to the floor, his features snap back into their original form, blood sprays/pours out of his throat as he writhes on the floor MB slowly leans forward and drops some money onto the body. Another waiter scuttles over, drags the body off and reloads MB’s bowl, Meatbot look’s at the other patron, his head has turned into a fish gaping wide eyed at him, (Not sure about this imagery. Just something to show the guy is freaked and that MB finds amusing) MB laughs (think Predator laugh) and takes another long drag on the hookah >>> I'm thinking of a sort of thing where the view is from Meatbot's eyes or really close perspective, over his head or something, and he keeps staring at the same spot, but you see him rip out the waiter's throat, the waiter collapses out of view, gurgling and shit, and his arms/legs will flail up from the bottom with blood like spraying up into his view, make sense? Waiter tending to Meatbot looks down at him with a smirk Waiter: See, now what do you need that crazy stuff for when I have this right here? It's just as good, better even! MB takes another drag, then exhales slowly MB: No... It's not the same and you know it. Just tell me how to find it. Waiter: well... uh... I don't know. MB jerks upright and scowls at him Waiter: IT'S NOT HERE! You'll have to ask someone else about it!!! MB relaxes and takes one last drag MB exhales the smoke as he asks: Who? ***DROP*** Close up of embers burning brightly, suddenly Norman’s head appears floating above him, popping out of a hole in the sky. MB blinks and stares at it Norman’s Head: HOLY ASSBALLS! Who are you? Are you me? *MB keeps staring* What the hell is going on? *MB keeps staring* >>> Maybe we should have Norman's dialogue go backwards for Meatbot? I kind of like the idea... Norman’s body is sucked through as MB takes another drag and he is inhaled by MB MB sighs, exhaling contentedly as smoke billows from his nose >>> Too soon for Norman head? Maybe I should have it happen all the way at the end? I just really liked the visual of Meatbot smoking Norman >>>I really like this bit for BC
Close up of smoke, cut to smoke spiraling out of BC’s pipe as he slowly drags on it BC’s eyes widen, his pupils dilating heavily and his body relaxing BC: Just breathe… This will work, it’s always worked before… *BC adjusts his position into a Lotus style sitting* As I breathe in, I know that I breathe in… As I breathe out, I know that I breathe out… As I breathe in, I know that I breathe in BC continues this mantra, the camera pulling away wider and wider, his words growing smaller and smaller. Slowly his world is melting into blackness >>> I'm thinking of maybe an entirely blank page with just BC floating, very small in the center
As his concentration is lost, his world grows sketchy/scratchy and starts coming back into a skewed focus As I breathe in, I know… what do I know? … I know that I breathe out… As I breathe out, I know that I breathe in… As I breathe... I breathe... breath of breathing... fuck... no, stop. Breathe. *exhales deeply and inhales slowly* Breath... ... breath... ...breath... ...br>>>This is actually almost a direct transcript of one of my own meditations ***DROP/CHANGE*** BC's thinking is interrupted by Norman's head ripping through the sky above him Norman’s Head: HOLY ASSBALLS! ((I've always wanted to use over the top exclamations like holy christ fuck! or by the balls of the gods!)) >>> We can do that for BC, but if I change Norman's dialogue here, I have to change it the other 3 times his head pops out. BC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! BC Jumps, startled N H: Who are you? Are you me? BC (very shaken and afraid): I don't know... NH: What the hell is going on?
BC: I DON'T KNOW! BC's eyes roll back in his head as he blacks out when Norman is sucked through and is absorbed into his center the world around him is black as he slumps over >>> Revised: BC: FUCK! …I give up… BC slumps back on the floor, just letting himself fall back Show shot of BC's head falling to the floor, just as it impact, transition to Gear Head's head rising up and hitting part of his machine he was working under I was thinking of having a split panel/page, where the two heads connect and impact at the center, Brainchild coming down from top right, Gearhead coming up from bottom left, so it looks like they hit each other GH grimaces and clenches his head, muttering curses under his breath GH: "Science H. Logic..." He takes a breath, and backs out from under the machine carefully, as he stands up, the camera switches behind him giving a dramatic view of the dimensional drill he’s working on >>> Too early for Dimensional Drill? I think he can build it and work on the equations at the same time… The Dimensional Drill is well developed, but is constructed in such a manner that you're never really sure if it's done or not, think Death Star II Gearhead moves over to a series of boards set up near by, on the first one are schematics and diagrams for the DimDrill, I’m thinking of Leonardo’s drawing of the guy in the circle with his arms and legs in different positions for some reason. ((that sketch is meant to illustrate the golden mean, something I've always wanted to touch on with GH)) On the next board are some diagrams of the galaxy and the universe, much more detailed diagrams of black holes are posted over the older images There’s a large diagram of a black hole just above another diagram of a worm hole on the final board, next to this are several notes scrawled on the board itself and covered by various different pieces of paper with more notes, anywhere from cocktail napkins and toilet paper to legal pads and computer printouts >>> Actually, change the order, universe/black holes, black hole/notes, dimensional drill schematics
>>> Scratch that, fuck the order, use whatever you think looks best. The comic's visuals are pretty much up to you, I'm just trying to convey generalities and important details/ideas GH grabs a legal pad from his collection of notes on the middle board and walks back to his desk He flips through the pages slowly, showing several different sketches of worm holes and various equations using really fucking weird symbols, not only are there the regular greek/roman letters, but norse, Arabic, Chinese/Japanese, whatever you can think of. Make some new shit up even. Weirder the better
>>> Come back to this... might move it later in the story... What the hell are we going to do with Gearhead?!?! >>> Completes DimDrill, fires it up, story follows journey, gets stuck between dimensions? wanders through higher dimension before finding truth? goes through layers? (( How I imagined Gearhead's endgame in detail. Fires up the drill, reality seems to pinch at the point of the drill and get sucked in around him, I'm not sure what happens next but he finds himself in the same empty white space as most of the other characters will find themselves in the end. First in his space he sees his immediate back in front of him. On the side of him is his opposite side, and next to it is his side again continuing on into infinity. If he reaches forward he can put a hand on his own shoulder. He gets frustrated being stuck in a space only occupied by himself in an infinite amount and decides to examine the only bit of space not occupied by himself: up and down. Down below his feet is a far off speck. He kneels down and looks closer. He can see two distinct and far off or extremely small objects. He looks closer and then suddenly zooms in. It is GH standing in front of what appears to be a brain in a jar.))
Begins Notes: I'm getting closer and closer to the completion of the dimensional drill. Every day, I grow more and more certain that it will work. It has to work! Mankind has progressed very far in its development of the understanding of the universe. I still remember first studying physics and being amazed at how perfectly everything was put into its place, like the cogs of a machine. Quantum mechanics and chaos theory are simply illusions. There’s got to be certainty behind it, we just have to find the right set of eyes to look through the veil… And that’s what I’ve done. With the advancements in Cosmology I have personally made, the answers are all but spoken. With the progress made in black holes and their potential for worm holes, I believe it possible to travel to the interior of the universe. We have speculated that the universe’s space-time expands as if on the surface of a balloon and since black holes have already brought together so many branches of physics, including quantum mechanics, with their added possibility of worm holes, I will penetrate into the interior of the cosmic balloon. The problem with wormholes is their inevitable collapse once the traveler reaches the singularity. However, with my dimensional drill, I will simply be able to bore through whatever scrap of our universe still ties me to this cosmos, this dimension of this cosmos. The answer is so simple it’s a wonder no one has tried it before. I believe we’ve spent far too long convinced that we are incapable of breaking through. Why should something as trivial as dimensions bind us? Don’t we already occupy higher and lower dimensions even if we’re only
aware of the third? It’s foolish to think we can’t comprehend it. Some people say we couldn’t fly and now look at how we travel into the depths of space! >>> Still rewriting notes, expect a lot of changes with GH...
>>> Taking temporary hiatus to make headway in Hyperspace, may base character off of Michio Kaku Will rewrite notes and character once I feel I've done enough "research", also, going to start reading Metamorphosis to help with Norm >>> Been thinking some more about the idea of gearhead's story being largely him traveling through dimensions and alternate universes, I keep having this one idea where he first drills and ends up in an alternate universe of the same dimension and when he finally realizes he's still in 4-d space he stops and thinks to himself "fuck, I drilled sideways" or something like that >>> Anyways, I've been thinking of having him wander through higher and higher dimensions until he reaches his endgame, sort of like gulliver's travels or something. I feel rather inspired by Michio talking about that guy's Flatlander story, was wondering if you would be interested in exploring higher dimensions or not ((Of course I'm thinking we could make the brain in a jar a 4d creature)) >>> I think I'm going to accelerate GH's story a bit... Begins Notes: “The project is finished. All I have to do is to link up with the Dimensional Drill and climb inside. It's the beginning of the end, it seems. This should be the next evolution of the particle accelerators that physicists became so obsessed with in recent history. The problem with particle accelerators is that they're only good for observation. Instead of passively watching, why not smash your own atom to bits? Well... that's hyperbole. However, by scaling down the particle accelerator and increasing its power capacity, I should be able to draw myself into the midst of the atomic crash. In that midst is the key. If string theory is right, we live in a multi-dimensional universe. We are painfully aware of, and imprisoned by, the first 4 dimensions, but what about the higher ones? If that's where the super strings are, then why aren't we trying to see them? They say they're very tiny, rolled up inside our own dimension. So, to break the 4d barrier, we must go inside our own dimension; we must travel to the interior of our cosmic balloon, if you will. It's pointless to travel anywhere in this universe, you would only be walking in circles. No matter which direction you moved, you would always come back to your original location, it would just take eternity to do so. Why is this? Because it's a closed system. So, to go somewhere new, we need to move inside or outside of our universe, of 3/4d space-time. For this, we need a wormhole. Theoretically, all black holes are worm holes, but we can't control it so we could be completely obliterated by simply trying to enter. So, why not a black hole that we've made and can, therefore, control? The trick is a tiny black hole, one that won't devour the solar system, or even my office. As long as I regulate the energy/matter conversion of the inception of the black hole, it can be used to travel where ever I like. It's so painfully simple. I wonder why no one has tried before.
But where do I find the capability for it? Myself.”
((I definitely want lots of dialogue between GH and the drill in a sort of like Deathlok. Another thing, I've spent a lot of time thinking about titles. Maybe if we break it down into chapters and give each one their own non-sequiter title. A few of my attempts: Placebos and Pretty Faces, Inches To Gain, Behold The Grey And Wormy Tyrant, Laugh To Taste The Acid Rain, Such Fearful Symmetry, We Make Our Homes Over Graves, Worldwide Blind Suicide, Handprints On The Looking Glass I also had the idea of referring to the chapters as Acts like in a play to make an allusion to "All the World is but a stage" hmmm, what about "All the world is but a grave"? And just playing with the idea of calling the whole thing Chapters)) >>> Ooooooo, CHAPTERS! I like that. How would we divide up the chapters? Based on the characters or on the story? I was thinking of, later on, expanding each of the 4 stories and re-releasing them separately. Just a flitting idea for far off down the road. I do like your idea of busting it up though. But I'm still curious about how we'd divide it. I don't really remember Deathklok's dialogue... I'll see what I can find, but can't promise anything. And sure, we can have him talk to the drill. It'll help keep the story more dynamic having a second character for him to interact with. Based on you saying you want to keep this short, the script may be 1/3 - 1/2 way done. How much more are you looking for? I guess I'll keep writing what I can, and I can expand/retract it later when you decide. >>> I thought it's funny you listed "Such Fearful Symmetry" considering the number of times the opening lines of that poem have been running through my mind So you want me to redo the old GH stuff and have him conversing with the computer the whole time, or only once he enters the drill? If you want to change it, I'd have to drastically change GH's first appearance if I do though, so I'm more inclined to leave it as is for now
>>> Also, VERY IMPORTANT! Please look over the script and make sure I didn't accidentally delete any changes you made. Thanks Lays down and closes eyes, gears slow as he drifts to sleep, begins dreaming of Brainchild sitting in lotus position, thinking to himself BC Thinks: "I've tried... and tried... and tried... I need sleep. It'll all begin again tomorrow..." BC drifts off to sleep while sitting in lotus position, slowly begins rising off the ground and levitating as he sleeps Begins dreaming of Meatbot laying in bed with three naked women (or however many, maybe a monkey in there too?) Pan the camera around if you like to add more panels/motion, maybe sort of slide over the bed, revealing each of the patrons as you go to make it more comical for the reader? Like a naked chick, MB, naked chick, naked chick, monkey Camera pulls out, showing shot down of head as Meatbot sleeps, dreaming of Norman sleeping, can't see ground or surroundings, just a shot down at his face, same perspective as Meatbot
***CHANGE?*** Cut to Norman's view, vision is blurred as he stares up, slowly his office building comes into focus, but is floating an indeterminate distance above him, it seems far Norman begins slowly rising towards the office building, accelerating as he moves further, slowly Norman's body lying on the sidewalk comes into focus, glowing radiantly, eventually people, dulled out, darkened, something odd about them, come into focus, still walking around without noticing anything Norman flies up into his body, sits up suddenly, rubbing his head Norman thinks: "what happened...?" *looks at his hands, flash of memory of being sucked into himself* "...oh... that again." Pull camera out, show Norman slowly rising off the ground, still sitting up cut back to Norman's view, staring at his own hands, suddenly realizes he's floating off the ground Norman thinks: "Beats the stairs" Norman floats back up to his office, through the walls/floors/everything until he's sitting at his desk, co-worker is still standing there, jabbering on pointlessly (I'm thinking maybe use a blank word bubble for pointless jabber?), Norman finally rests in his chair again, co-worker's word bubble comes over his shoulder As Norman continues to stare at his blank computer screen, an ever present question mark floats above his head, he's doing nothing but staring, like his soul is slipping away His coworker walks in through an open door and speaks to him Co-Worker: "-?" Norman gives him a blank stare Co-worker: "-." Norman stares as the man glides out of the room without walking, just sort of slides along the ground, as he passes through Norman's doorway, he seems to shrink off into infinity walking down a straight hall Norman thinks: "Why don't I just leave too...?" Norman stares down the hall, it seems to stretch back at him, like the zooms in the movies where the zoom in on the character so the background expands to envelope everything else Maybe a shot of the side as the hallway stretches past him, he turns around and realizes that he's standing in the same repeating hallway moving to infinity in both directions. Norman faces one of the walls, looking up and down the hallway, leaning back to see as far down it as he can. Not seeing a door, he sighs and drops his head then starts walking. Show a shot of Norman walking off into the infinity of the hall way
Cut to, same angle, shot of a main road leading through town, Meatbot walking towards the camera, camera pans up to show it's just behind a man with a large pointed maul, a fucking huge pointed maul, one you could use when storming a castle by yourself or make Thor shit his pants Man: "You know you'll never find it. They won't let you." MB: "You think they can stop me? You think anything can stop me?!" Man: "We're talking about the gods man. Immortals! You can't kill imortals, fucker!" MB: "Is that so?" Man: "You've got no choice. Just turn back now..." MB: "hm... Even if I can't kill them... I can still kill you!!!"
Show a wide shot of the street, MB at one end and the maul man at the other, MB is racing towards the man, man throws off his over coat, gripping the Maul tightly with both hands off to one side of his body. I'm thinking of using a sort of western feel to this fight as MB races at the man, the man still wielding the maul, finally tensing up, maybe growling, as MB grows close, he lunges forward and delivers a back spin blow, bringing the maul down from overhead. Meatbot turns and sidesteps the swing easily, the man steps into another swing, bringing the maul around his side for a cross swing, Meatbot deftly leaps over the swing, at the man, and drives the first two fingers of his right hand into the man's eyes. The man drops the maul and screams, covering his eyes with his hands and blood spurts/seeps out between his fingers. As he reels back, lifting his head up, MB lunges foreward and drives the same two fingers into the man's windpipe, as he pulls back, blood spurts out and the man collapses on the ground, writhing and bleeding all over the place. MB smells his hands, staring at the man and looks disgustedly at his fingers. He wipes them off on the man's coat and then throws it over the writhing body as he turns, leaving the man to die in the street.
Voice calls from behind Meatbot as he walks awayVoice: "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Meatbot stops walking, half turns back to look at him The voice is a slightly older man, wearing a sheriff's badge, walking up to the body still bleeding in the street Sheriff: "You can't just kill people and leave them in the street! This town has laws, reason, rules... We're people, Goddamnit!" The sheriff crouches down at the corpse, closing it's eyes and draping the coat over it out of respect, he waves two bystanders over to help carry it off, looking very solemn and ignoring MB who has started to slowly approach him from behind after he turned his back (don't make MB's movement totally noticeable, just one panel w/ him in the back ground slowly approaching) Sheriff turns back around, ends up face to face with MB, is very startled and starts to pull back and draw his gun, MB's hand shoots forward, grabbing the Sheriff's wrist, he twists his arm in a wide clockwise circle, twisting it back, show a shot of his other hand raising up in a karate chop hand form, then crashing down on the man's elbow, severing his arm
The sheriff reels back, grabbing at the stump and yelling, MB lunges at him at clubs him with a cross swing to the man's temple, maybe show like a close up of the man's face, tears in his eyes, just utterly shocked at what happened, and the next panel the end of his severed arm comes Whump+Messy Splat across his face Sheriff, staggers from blow and MB clubs him again from other side, causing him to stumble and fall, a good clear shot from MB's eyes looking down on the man as he is on the ground (on his knees maybe?) tears flowing and a complete look of pity on the man's face, think of a puppy right before you kick it
Camera backs out, showing view from group of villagers as MB is standing over the sheriff, repeatedly clubbing him to death with his own arm, show shot of young child running from behind MB in distance
***DROP*** Zoom back in to show MB grabbing the sheriff's hair, dragging his head up into view, sheriff is bleeding and sobbing, completely broken, Meatbot raises his arm up in the air, holding it like a spear, child screams comes in from behind Child: "Nooooooooooooooooooo! STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MY DAD!!!" MB smirks and thrusts the arm, driving it through the sheriff's mouth and out the back of his head, child jumps onto his dad's body from behind, causing MB to drop his head, child stands up, staring at MB and sobbing, show close up of child's face crying, face goes to shock and stops crying, show wide shot of MB standing up, picking the child up by his throat, child grabbing at his hand, struggling, rifle barrel swings up into view, leveling on MB (I'm thinking something along the lines of a winchester)
Close back in on MB as he raises his left hand back, forming a Tiger Claw hand, tenses up and drives the claw upwards into the child's solar plexus, slowly forcing it inside the kid, tightens his grip and rips the child's sternum/part of his ribs, down and out of his chest, child can't scream since he's being throttled, his guts spill out of his open chest cavity, show close up of MB's face, shoulders should reflect him still holding the child, giving a joker smile as blood/gore drips/slides down his face Gunshot echoes loudly ***/DROP***
>>> Revised: MB raises the dismembered arm as a rifle barrel swings up into view Close back in on MB as the gunshot echoes loudly Meatbot's expression drops, he stumbles and drops the Sheriff, cut back to previous angle, MB, staggering down on one knee (bullet hit him in his right lower back, kidney region, rifle barrel is lowered slightly, smoke coming out of end, pan camera back a bit to show the man reloading it. MB, turns his head and begins picking himself back up, Man brings the rifle up again, just before he fires, MB rolls to his side, grabbing the arm and wings it into the man's throat, man lurches with the impact and ends up shooting the woman next to him with the ill timed shot, bullet goes
through woman's temple and out the top of her head MB stands up, walking over to corpse, people coming out of buildings surrounding him, kneels down, reaching for the man's rifle, multiple shots ring out from around him, bullets, impacting the bodies and whizzing by, MB jerks back and chunks a rock at someone with a pistol drawn on a porch, rock hits the man's hand, causing his gun to jerk down so he shoots himself in the foot/leg as he's running down the stairs from the porch, man stumbles and fall, others around him are starting to fire at MB, MB grabs the rifle and runs at the porch, swinging it in an arc he deflects two bullets with the butt of the rifle then throws it, the barrel impaling a man's stomach, MB jumps high onto the roof of the building, grabbing a guy and throwing him off as he lands. He turns and jumps back off of the roof, landing on the guy he just threw off who's laying on his back on the overhanging of the porch, the man's body crashes through the overhang, onto one of the guys just running out the front door, several large wooden splinters are raining down on the scene, a couple sticking into MB and several into the two men MB rips out one of the splinters as he lands ontop of the two men on the porch, driving them through it and causing the entire porch to cave in, he jumps up out of the whole and into the bar, stabbing another man in the eye with the wooden splinter he just pulled out of his left bicep Pull the camera back a bit to show MB standing a little inside, close to the center, of a large bar room (I'm thinking of the Bar from Gun, large open room, stairwell left side, leads up to balcony wrapping around the back wall where the doors to the rooms are arranged, on the floor in the center are several tables, maybe some billiards/card tables, with the bar on the right side of the room, throw some bar wenches in for measure if you want) 2 stories, many people surrounding him with lots of guns, only some have them drawn, everyone is still, MB is still crouching over the body laying on the ground, gripping the splinter jutting out of his eye Cut to shot of younger guy standing on balcony at the back of the room, as he's looking down on the scene, not moving very fast as he's unsure about what to do, people around the room begin firing on MB, MB darts off the left side of the panel, delivering a back spin kick into a man's chest as he runs past him, diff man flies across the panel from the left side followed by MB leaping across holding half a table, MB throws the table towards the younger guy, guy cringes but the table takes out a man with a shotgun standing next to him, looks back at the floor, doesn't see MB, MB punches up through the stairwell and grabs a man's leg, pulling him down through it, blood spurts out the side of the stair well, MB jumps up through the hole he just made, holding the man's leg, he clubs another man running down the stairs with it then throws it at a third guy standing at the top of the stairwell and leaps from the stairs at the younger guy, younger guy has shakily drawn his pistol just as MB shoves a sword hand thrust into the guy's throat, MB throws the body down at some people trying to run up the stairs and jumps off the balcony running off panel Cut to wide shot of the bar from the street, sounds of fighting can be heard, a body is thrown out of the front of the bar, 2 more fly out, one from second floor window, one through the right side, MB leaps out of the roof of the building and lands on the street, the right half of the bar collapses as MB walks off down the street >>> Something with Brainchild comes next... I have no idea what. Fucking Mirinda isn't working just yet. If you could send me input and some of the stuff I asked for, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, don't forgot to look at and answer some of the notes I've added to earlier parts of the script. It's a dynamic thing, I go back and change earlier parts sometimes so I need revised input on those portions Brainchild walks down a dirt path through a forest/vegetated area, he looks about, every now and then stopping to gather herbs and plants from around the path, placing them inside a pouch and
putting the pouch on the inside of his robe/shirt, after collecting a few, the path opens to a clearing where a small shack sits, BC walks inside, after a short pause, smoke begins to come from the chimney Camera cuts to an interior shot, BC is grinding the herbs/plants in a mortar/pestle, his eyes are very intent and a thought bubble shows only white, he adds boiling water from a kettle over the fire to the contents he has scraped into a bowl and mixes it into a thin paste, he dumps in the last of the water and slowly shakes the bowl around, then lets it settle. As it settles, he sits, Indian style, and chants a mantra to himself slowly (I’ll look one up later***) Thinking to himself BC’s inner dialogue: The mind of no mind is the mind… The mind of no mind is the mind… The mind of no mind is the mind… This continues for a short while until he grabs the bowl up from the floor in front of him and tosses it back, he regains his position and begins meditating while chanting the mantra quietly, slowing increasing in rhythm and volume
>>> For this bit, it’s the “energy” that is visible, we don’t see the life forms or worlds, we just see shadows of them illuminated by the energy, a sort of abtract imagery of everything that is still somewhat identifiable, and everything should be connected with the long energy threads stretching to infinity all over the place, try to make it serene though His world begins to melt into blackness, it converts into a grayscale, grows sketchy and begins to sink and melt into a flat plane surrounding him, slowly a circle of white grows from beneath him and seeps out in all directions across the plane, from this plane, other white spots appear as the camera pulls out further to show a wider view, they begin growing, reaching up from the murky plane (think of the surface of a dark lake, black as tar but far less viscous) as ripples spread from each
Recenter the camera on BC as the lights grow into ghosts of animals, fainter lights begin to appear forming miniature trees and the plane take on a slightly lighter tone to represent smaller vegetation, grass, insects, etc. Beneath the plane we slowly see other insects, shrews, moles, worms, maggots, and maybe fish brightening BC’s center begins glowing slowly; it brightens into an incredible intensity, and then seeps out, most prominently upwards to his chest
A quiet beat begins to echo, Ba-dum… Ba-dum… Ba-dum… show flashes of close ups of BC’s chest with each beat, his center’s glow slowly reaches the heart and when it does, a single beat echoes across the entire plane, show a wide view of the world with a shockwave of light radiating from BC, carrying his face in it’s essence, close up on BC and the light courses through his veins (I’m thinking of a sort of acupuncture diagram showing the chi flow in a body), much of the light gathers in his chakras: forehead, heart, navel (feel free to do as many chakras as you want, those three are the major ones though) as it collects in his heart, it seeps forward from his body,
collecting into a ball just in front of him, the ball doesn’t grow very large, about the size of a tennis ball, but it’s brightness is of a great intensity, around him, all the other ghosts are extending lines from their own balls (diff sizes for diff animals?) Once the ball has reached it’s size, it slowly rises up in front of BC until it gently drifts into a collection of lines running like muscle fiber just above him, the ball takes off, coursing down the line, leaving it’s own trail, until it collects with other streams and finally gathers in the center of the earth, we see another, far greater, stream (collection of streams) stretching from the Earth off towards the sun, other planets and moons intersect and join, all of them moving to the sun, the camera pulling out to show the scale
The sun’s streams stretch off to the center of the galaxy, which stretches to a super-galactic cluster, which stretches in innumerable directions to a myriad of other super-galactic clusters, the camera cuts back to BC and we see his ghost of a form, illuminated by the light coursing through his chakras/chi streams. He stands up, to his full height, and a third eye opens on his forehead, glowing brightly, he opens his own eyes, forming a triangle between the three with a thin beam of light and slowly takes off, walking across the face of the dim plane illuminated by the light of life (I’m thinking great, sure steps, like those taken by the great forest spirit from princess mononoke)
BC strides forth, his arms extended half way out at his waist height, palms pointed up, passing through and by various animals, small ones at first, as he does, part of him temporarily takes on an aspect/appearance of each animal and part of its beam diverts through him and along his own, he grows larger as he continue, striding forward in a sure line, eventually he has swollen to dominate the landscape, his lights growing intensely, as he begins to envelope the entire earth, he steps off of it, striding up a double helix stairwell that grows out in front of him, he smiles as he walks to the heavens and then looks up, the camera shifts to show out in front of him where a great light grows, coming towards him, I’m thinking of a single page with the afore described scenery and the image of this great deer striding from the heavens towards him along a glowing road made of an incredible number of lines intertwining and weaving together, as he gets closer, we can see that he dominates the entire planet, he’s many times larger than brainchild, he seems to be smiling as he leans down and his nuzzle slowly reaches out and touches BC’s forehead. A brilliant intensity springs out of the contact and everything goes white
We hear someone sobbing and slowly the camera zooms in on BC's face, everything is normal now, he's standing in the middle of no where, a desert or something, naked and crying, his arms still out
BC's inner dialogue: ...beautiful... He turns and begins walking back to the shack BC: but it just wasn't it... Must keep searching.
Cut to Gearhead walking out of the back room, draining a coffee pot. GH thinks to himself: It begins. He sets it on the table with a resolute THUNK and looks at the Drill, he begins walking to it and stripping, finally stepping inside and hooking his brain up it, headset? Neural implants? Full sensory immersion? The machine begins to hum and whir, growing louder gradually, the other lights/computers in the room dim as the machine brightens and grows more intense, everything goes white and we see Gearhead floating in the middle of a void Drill: Welcome. GH: Hello drill. Drill: Hello Doctor. How are you this morning? GH: Enough with the formalities, drill. You know that's not what I designed you for. Drill: Very well, Doctor. Are you ready to begin? GH: I've been ready since before I was born... Drill: That is logically impossible Doctor. GH: Silence, drill. Let us begin... Drill: Confirmed. Drill: ... Drill: Beginning Sensory Immersion in... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Suddenly the world zooms back in, as if GH were falling back into it Drill: Running systems scans... Drill: All systems ready... Drill: Proceed, Doctor? GH: Yes! Proceed! Drill: Confirmed. Where to, Doctor? GH: To the ends of the world... Drill: Obscure parameters. Please clarify, Doctor. GH: I'm being dramatic. I don't know why. You know what you were made for, drill. Now let’s go there already. Drill: Confirmed. Running Program [search.prg] Script begins pouring down the screen, everything from system checks to the formulas GH was working on before, every time a formula pops up, GH's thought bubble pops up and works it out exceptionally fast and efficient, a smile spreads across GH's face as the equations become denser and more complex, coming at him faster and faster, reality begins warping, first bubbling out and then sharply pinching in towards GH's brain, he opens his mouth to scream and everything goes silent
Cut to a bright glare, like a single point of light encapsulates all the brilliance possible in the entire universe. Slowly the brilliance dims down and we see the same hallway Norman was walking through come into focus around it. Norman walks over the camera, approaching the brilliance, cut to exterior shot to the front entrance of Norman’s building. Norman walks through, standing just outside the entrance as the hallway stretches to infinity behind him. He shields his eyes as he looks around, then peers up at the city towering over him. He sighs and walks down the street, everyone around him is caught in the middle of the appearance of walking but no one is actually moving. All the buildings around him appear to be flat cutouts, except for the hallway stretching to infinity, when looking down the hall, you see infinity, but when viewed from any other angle, you just see the building/flat cutout of a building
As Norman walks away from the building, he begins talking to himself
Norman: Every day I feel something. A thought, a question… something tugging at my mind. Everyone else just goes through their life, but how am I supposed to live through this? This inanity? This mundane? How can this be normal? What drives each of them to keep going through their own lives? Why doesn’t the same thing work for me
As he leaves his office, the building slowly disintegrates behind him once he quits noticing it, the more involved with himself he becomes, the more the world around him melts away, beginning with the large and distant impersonal city/buildings and finally closing in to the people in his immediate vicinity. The camera pulls out to show Norman walking down the street, passing through people and objects in a ghost like manner. Norman: It’s as if I were completely different… completely made up and thrust into this system. All these other people have their place. Their purpose; whatever reason it is, they all just chase it without worrying about anything. How am I supposed to deal with that? With me? Where do I fit in this? Am I even human…?
Slowly Norman is fading from view until his barely recognizable shape is in view, he diminishes, shrinking into a small brilliant ball until it pops out of existence. The world comes back to vibrant clarity for a moment, the people bustling down the streets, cars, airplanes, birds, beauty, life, chaos, arguments, discussions, laughter, vendors, everything is instantly realized to its fullness of vibrancy
Normally suddenly pops back into view, entirely concrete and everything around him disappears except for the plain he’s standing on Norman: Or maybe it’s they who don’t fit. Norman blinks and the world comes back into focus around him, he sighs and walks down the road, try to go for the image of Meatbot leaving town maybe? Cut to a shot of Meatbot standing on the road in the middle of a plain, view from above, he’s completely stationary, looking onward Close in on Meatbot, view from behind/above, we see a towering mountain off in the distance, the peak of which is lost in the clouds but the size of which easily dominates the land MB: I’m
Cut to shot of GH’s lab, obscure view, world warps out sharply, like a bubble of reality expanding GH/Drill: Here…
GH looks around, still connected to the machine, as his view clarifies, we can see the lab is entirely different, it’s running the same experiments, but everything is being done through a holistic approach Drill: Standing by for further instructions… GH: Drill! Are the translators running? Drill: Negative, Doctor. The translators are not necessary. GH: You mean we’re still… Drill: In 4th Dimensional Space-Time. Yes, Doctor. GH: What the fuck happened? Drill: Beginning replay… The same script from before begins pouring out again, but it is almost immediately cut off GH: SHUT UP! That’s not what I wanted!!! Drill: I’m sorry, Doctor. But you must be very clear in your instructions. GH sighs… looking around, thinks to himself GH thoughts: All the math was right… What did I forget? All of this seems so familiar, yet entirely differentGH out loud: Oh shit. Drill: Doctor? GH: We went the wrong direction… Drill: But we are not in lesser dimensional space, Doctor. GH: We drilled sideways… We’re in a parallel universe. Drill: Affirmative, Doctor. GH: Alright…. Let’s try again. This time, we move inside, not tangentially. Drill: Running program…
Cut to shot of Brainchild, sitting in a Stonehenge type structure, small pile of shrooms sit on an alter in the middle of the site. BC dances around the shrooms, chanting in odd language, thinking to himself
BC thinks: “Journey to the mind, it’s the only path. Find the path and follow it. Follow it until the end.” He thinks this again and again, the camera zooming out slowly as he does. Camera zooms back in as he stands in front of the altar BC: By the gods of the earth, the gods of the heaven, I beseech you to bring me the gods of my mind. He douses a strange liquor on the shrooms and eats one Cut to shot of his vision, all is normal, you see his hand dropping from his mouth, hear his chewing and his swallow, breathing gets heavier as he keeps eating more shrooms, finally the pile runs out. His vision has slowly begun to alter, brighter colors and shifting distances, lines warping gently, suddenly, when he closes his eyes to blink, he sees a brightly colored spot. He opens his eyes again and the hue is more noticeably different, the world has started warping around him, its gently stretching off into the distance and sloping upwards, as his eyes close and open, his hallucinations grow stronger and more intense, closing his eyes brings a series of brightly colored faces, think of the most elaborate masks from across the globe The faces sort of stretch inwards from the side of his vision, all of them bending in and peering at him, growing closer, BC opens his eyes again and they disappear, the colors are drastically skewed and imagery is shot, I'm thinking of a sort of psychedelic toned combination of time-lapse video, sketch animation and Gumby. He closes his eyes again and they faces are further away, he can make out their bodies and forms, they're gathered around, talking to each other, like office workers at a water cooler, when he opens his eyes, one of the faces, a twisted caricature of himself, is standing right in front of him Face: Boo BC screams and jumps back, stumbling and falling on his back, he lands about a foot off the ground and floats there without realizing what has happened, as he gets back up, he stand back up on the ground, by this time, his external environment is in constants flux, all ages of earth and universe are passing by simultaneously Face laughs at him as he stands back up, like a child's laughter, something very relaxed and uncaring Face: Come. Follow me. Follow your path He takes BC's hand and leads him away, the stretch of ground directly in front of them begins to warp upwards, sloping up into infinity Face singing out as the camera pulls back, the two of them running/skipping up the new path stretching upwards as a stairway to heaven Face: Follow your path, Brainchild! It's beckoning youu Final shot of the two of them on the path, shot sort of from behind and above, very distant, maybe full page view, the path stretches up into the heavens where we see it reaching into the third eye of a giant BC sitting lotus position and meditating
Cut to shot of Norman, standing on a median at an intersection, cars, people, buildings, plane, birds, LOTS of traffic, incredibly busy shot, complete and utter urban chaos behind and around him, enveloping him Norman thinks, his words dominate everything, maybe try to write them out of the background imagery instead of a regular thought bubble Norman: Why am I here? >>>Maybe use three pages for this? Or Four? Or Four panels on two pages (2 panels/page)? And split up the words between each panel/page... Kinda like the idea
Cut to shot of Meatbot, hordes of demons, zombies, ogres, children, fairies, animals, people, everything around him, stuff dead and dying, bleeding everywhere, fighting, lots of fighting, these pages are collections of a huge number of small panels, nothing but constant action, larger panels emphasizing Meatbot's shifting frame of mind >>> Should be approximately the same number of pages as Norman, or however many you feel appropriate Think of a real dante's inferno scene. Not just fighting but dancing, fucking, screaming, crying, laughing. Any kind of extreme emotion. >>> Never read Dante, you do it. You're the artist
Cut to shot of GH's lab, reality bubbles out and he appears GH: Finally her-... Drill: Doctor? GH: WHAT HAPPENED? Drill: What do you mean Doctor? GH: We're back where we started! Drill: Yes, Doctor. We've dimensionally shifted, not physically. GH: But... Everything is the same! Drill: Yes, Doctor. Everything will always be the same. GH: But the new dimensions! Hyperspace! What happened...!? Drill: Dimensions are an aspect of reality Doctor. All the universe exhibits the same dimensions. What you need is a new perspective to witness the new dimensions. Not a new location. GH: Bu-.... Wh-... How... can.. I -DO- that?
GH steps out of the machine, walking slowly across his lab, he's moving in the other direction this time, towards the camera, he peers and looks in, He reaches foreward and his fingertips break through the page, just show them overlapping the panel's border a little, maybe extending over to the previous page or something, he grabs the side of the panel and pulls his head through >>> Just had an idea, when he pulls himself through, we could have his hands overlapping the top and bottom of the page, like he's gripping an edge, then on the back cover of the book, we show his fingers wrapping around the top and bottom as a continuation of that shot taps on the "glass" of the 4th wall, he presses on it a little. Stands up, scratches his head, steps back, grabs his chair/stool, screams, runs and throws the chair through the 4th wall, shattering the page, blank page as the comic panels, page numbers, title, everything falls off and apart, GH begins to glow, illuminating himself in the dark, nothing else can be seen around him, he reaches towards the viewer again and tears the page open, crawling through >>> I like this bit, this is my favourite part of the ending and I was proud, as a writer, to have been able to write this. I've redone it so it's even better now. If you don't appreciate this you can suck an egg Cut to BC, laying in the middle of nowhere, naked, covered in filth BC: Guh.. What the hell happened? I was sure I saw it... saw something... Fuck. Did I reach enlightenment and can't even remember? Where am I? BC stands up and cleans himself off. Looking around, he's standing on a barely visible path (make the reader have to really pay attention to notice he's on it), I'm thinking of a gently warn trail of grass, He's standing in the middle of an endless field, very empty, few random trees, clouds and birds above, flat ground everywhere though BC: How can I reach enlightenment... If I don't know where I am? How can I reach it... if I don't know where I'm meant to be going? Camera has been pulling out, he's very tiny towards the center of the page BC: How can I reach anything if I don't even know how to walk? >>> I like this line, but I'm almost convinced it would be stronger without it, I'm not sure the reader would get the message though; I'm trying to say instead of worrying about it all, you just have to GO, and so he's finally started walking BC sighs, slumps and begins walking off
Few bits of BC walking, he's going very far in this endless prairie, not thinking or saying anything, as he walks a tree just sort of pops up, hide it with the angles if you want, but I want it to appear out of nowhere As BC steps into the tree's shadow, he steps through into nothingness, move the camera to show him walking towards it instead of away and just wipe (maybe literally wipe) the world away from him, the same nothing he experienced very briefly early in the comic, he's falling towards an intensely bright point though
Cut to shot of Norman, the world is very vague around him, I'm thinking where everything is almost black, and there's this small bubble around him of light, when things pass through, we catch a quick glimpse of an outline or a sketch of them, Norman himself is shifting, changing styles while still keeping the same general appearance Norman: There's no explanation. No sense. It's nonsense. It's nothing. Nobody tells you anything. They just fuck and your born and you die. They talk about living. What IS living? How can this be living? We do nothing. We die. What for? Why die? If dying is all we do, why live? Can we do anything else? What else is there? Life. Death. Life. Death. Life. Death. Life. Death. Life. Death. Life. Death. Life. Death Life Death life death lifedeathlifedeathlifedeathlifedeathlithedealithldeafelideafelithdealidaflithadeithaldiahtalthef... *pause and then step* Norman: Why not give up both? I refute it thusly. >>> Using the direct quote is too much in contrast to Norman's regular voice and to the tone of the comic thus far. We've never used a direct quote in here, just references. Show shot of Norman, everything black around him, illuminated by the truck's headlights shining onto him from his side.
Cut to Meatbot, fighting his way up to the very top of the mountain, there's a gigantic palace, He's killing gods now, lots of gods, big scary angry gods, the kind of gods that could make Caligula cry. Women, Men, animals, other worldly, the wildest gods you can think of, just murdering and brutalizing them, blood, limbs, entrails, everything Meatbot has begun growing, don't draw attention to it though, he doesn't notice it happening, at first, his limbs stretch a little and his muscles bulge more, then he's slowly getting larger and larger, he's fighting bigger and bigger stuff, giants, ogres, dragons, bigger gods, the other stuff is bigger than him still, but he's catching up, the bigger he gets, the bigger the stuff he fights is, finally he's fighting the last god, the god of the mountain he's standing on, he's finally matched it's size and both of them are enormous, he's fighting it on the top of the mountain, they fight and he kills it, crushes it under his fist Suddenly he's left standing alone, on top of the mountain, no bodies, empty, silence, serenity, everything is dead and there's nothing left to kill, his eyes are bugged out, muscles are twitching, we can see the blood running through his veins, he's looking around frantically, can't find it, that one thing MB screams: WHERE IS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!?!?!? Slams his fist down on the top of the mount, the entire earth shatters beneath him, crumbling away and he falls, plummeting into nothing, as the debris falls away, he sees a land, a single beautiful oasis of an island floating in the middle of nothing, he falls towards it
Cut to shot of Gearhead's face, standing in the middle of nothing, camera shifts behind him and we see his back in front of him. He reaches forward and taps his shoulder, a hand comes from behind and taps him on the should, he turns his head back to look and sees himself looking back with his arm on his shoulder, he turns fully around and sees himself turn around. He looks around and sees himself looking around everywhere he looks. He runs somewhere but all he sees is himself running. Finally he gets tired and stops, he pants a little and looks down to catch his breath, he sees something a point... something, he reaches down, can't feel anything, reaches past where his feet are and still can't feel anything, reaches further and further until he just slips down towards the point, almost falling forward, sort of dives down at the point
>>> Inspired by Douglas Adams, finally finished Hitchhiker's same day I wrote this Cut to shot of Norman, standing in a psych office, he looks around and sighs, sits down on the couch and browses the magazines on the small end table next to it. They're all about llamas. He hears a door open and looks up, Norman w/ a beard is standing there Beard: Hello... *checks clipboard/forms in his hand* Norman. How are you doing today? Norman: ...Fine... I guess? Hello. Who are you? Beard: Fine, fine. Good. Well... welcome to not living. Norman: Excuse me? Beard: Not living. You're not living anymore. Welcome to it. Norman: You mean I'm dead? Beard: No! No, preposterous. Of course you aren't dead. You're just not living. Norman: So where am I? Is this heaven? Purgatory? Nirvana? Beard: Bah. None of those things. They're awfully dreadful this time of year. Lines all over the place. For the bathrooms especially. Norman: Bathrooms... in heaven? Beard: Yes and all the other places. They're all in one area. Just different sides to the same amusement park really. Norman: And the bathrooms? Beard: Ah, yes. Bathrooms. Well, the open bars keep the bathrooms pretty full. Norman: There are bars in heaven? Beard: Mm-hmm. Dreadfully good cocktails, if I might say so. Norman: Are there bars here? Beard: What? No. Of course not. You're not dead, remember?
Norman: So where am I? Beard: You're not living. Norman: DeBeard: Anyways, Mr. Norman. This is where you'll be for eternity. Norman: ETERNITY?! Beard: Yes. Well... unless you decide to leave. Norman: I can leave? Beard: Eventually. N: How do I do that? B: Afraid I can't tell you. You're insurance wasn't good for omniscience. N: What? B: Yes, you're insurance didn't cover the non-living perks. Sorry about that. But... you do get this... *rummaging through desk* handy... little.. gift basket! *pulls up gift basket and hands it to Norman* N: It's full of towels! B: Yes, you'll probably be needing those. N: For what? B: I have no idea. But you fleshy types always seem to need them for one reason or another. N: So what will I be doing here? B: What-ever-you-want! *said with a little jig* This is your not-living, so it's entirely up to you. Most just get rather bored with it. N: I can see how... B: But... the important thing to remember is that it's all up to you. N: And...? B: It's up to you! If you're bored, you're not trying. This is yours. Do with it whatever you want. N: Whatever I want...? B: Yes, Mr. Norman. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another arrival waiting. N: There are others here?
B: Of course not! This is your not-living. Not theirs. Now have fun. Bye! Beard leaves briskly, shutting the door loudly as Norman stands with his gift basket of towels N: ...bye... Norman sighs and sets the basket down, sits on the couch again. Looking at the magazine lying on the armrest where he left it. He picks it up and flips through, looking at the llamas A thought passes through his mind "Whatever I want..." as he turns the page he sees a picture of him smiling, he turns the page again and he's smiling and standing with a woman, he turns the page and he's smiling w/ woman and child, he turns the page again... Shot from the window of the office, bearded looking in, smiles and thinks "I think he's finally getting it..." >>> I really like this ending. I find it very touching, personally. Whenever I read over it, I have this mental movie running through with it, and at the end I see Norman, this battered, tired, worn, bruised and utterly confused man, who finally gets some rest, and as he looks through his magazine, not having any idea of what's been going on, he finally turns the page and finds happiness, first he finds happiness in himself, and then in others and finally in family, and when he finds his happiness, in this magazine, something that's been right in front of his nose the whole time, he smiles. And every time I picture Norman on the couch smiling at a picture of himself smiling, it makes me smile. I know I'm being sappy, but I think this ending is incredibly sweet >>> Inspired by my own non-sensical philosophical prattling, usually with myself or while trying to explain myself to others, best evidenced by Tar Baby and Sometime, Someday Cut to shot of Brainchild, floating awkwardly in front of a bright sphere BC: Hello...? Sphere: WELCOME, BRAINCHILD, TO INFINITY! BC: Ow, my ears. Would you mind not shouting? S: SORRY! *ahem* Sorry. Most people expect a little drama. BC: Most people? So I'm not the only one here? S: Yes and no. BC: But I'm not the first? S: Yes and no. BC: ...How can it be yes and no? Doesn't it have to be one or the other? S: Why? BC: ...because... that's how it works. That's how it's always worked?
S: What has always worked? BC: Everything! S: You don't even know what that is. BC: Yes I do... it's ... it's... S: See? BC: Alright, then what is everything? S: Everything. BC: What's that supposed to mean? S: I am everything. You are everything. We are everything. BC: hmm... S: These words you use to identify everything simply separate everything from everything else. But these are only words. BC: ...ok. S: Instead of looking at the words, look at everything, the world, the cosmos. Infinity. BC: Look at the moon... S: Sun. BC: What? S: I'm the sun. BC: But I thought you said you were everything. S: I am. And so are you. BC: But you just said you were the sun. S: I am. And so are you. BC: How can I be the sun? Shouldn't I have noticed? S: I birth all life where you come from. Not a bit of energy used by you came from elsewhere. BC: So you're a part of me. S: I am you. BC: But you only said you gave us life.
S: But we're both made of the same things. The same dust that formed me, formed you. Together, we were formed and together we live. BC: So I AM you. S: And we are everything. BC: So everything is everything. To reach infinity, I simply have to be. S: Yes. BC: Incredible! So why am I here? S: Because. BC: Because... S: Because. BC: Because what?! S: Look, I just gave you ultimate enlightenment. Don't try taking down all the questions in one go, ok? BC: WHAT?! S: We'll come to the rest later. Now, just be happy with everything, you greedy bastard. BC: Sorry... The sun slowly fades as the camera pulls away to infinity >>> This ending, as I said earlier, is almost a direct parallel to my life. My own philosophical pursuit has been continuously finding possible answers from a weird realm of philosophical pseudo-science only to discover new ideas and questions banging on my door. It's a never ending pursuit, but you do get answers, even if they aren't quite as profound or moving as you had hoped >>> I have no idea what inspired this, other than the mental image of a brain in a jar screaming "How the #$@!! should I know!? I'm a brain in a jar!" Cut to shot of Gearhead, he steps climbs up onto a small platform, there is a pedestal with a brain in a jar sitting there GH panting: Where... the hell... am I? Brain: You're here! GH: But where's here? B: HERE! WHERE ELSE?!
GH: Fair enough... so am I... B: Here? GH: In the 5th dimension? B: Pshaw! You left dimensions a long time ago! Didn't you notice that? GH: So what's going on? B: YOU'RE HERE AND ANNOYING ME! GH: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I'm justB: Confused? GH: Yes. How did you know... B: Anybody talking to a hyper-dimensional entity is expected to be confused. GH: I suppose so. B: As you always do. GH: What's that supposed to mean? B: Supposing is all you do! Thinking. Plotting. Questioning. Wondering. That's it! GH: Well what's so bad about the pursuit of knowledge? B: NOTHING! As long as you DO something with it. GH: Do something? B: Yes. Something. Anything. Build a better mousetrap. Underwater basket weaving! It doesn't really matter. GH: And I didn't? B: You don't even know what you're doing now! GH: ...yeah... I suppose... B: AGAIN WITH THE SUPPOSING! GH: I'm sorry... B: AND QUIT BEING SORRY! We've got other things to do than be sorry. GH: Ok. What then? B: Learn.
GH: Learn what? B: Anything! WHAT DID YOU COME HERE FOR?! GH: I... I don't really know. B: See, that's the problem with people like you. You get so worked up to get where you're going that you never realize why you're going there in the first place. GH: Yeah... I see what you're saying... B: So what would you like to know? GH thinks... pauses: What... *pause* What is the answer to life? B: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW!? I'M A BRAIN IN A JAR! I HAVEN'T LIVED A DAY IN MY LIFE!!! GH: ... >>> I don't remember what you told me they were supposed to do or why you mentioned Higgs-Bosson particles or whatever they are >>> This ending is my view of science. Science is a wonderful pursuit as long as it continues to provide. Too many people will fall into frivolous knowledge or knowledge for the sake of knowledge. At those times, it becomes circular and self serving, essentially worthless to the populace as a whole. Isn't the idea of science to learn new things for the pursuit of new goals? We can't fall into blindly worshiping science as the new deity. We must remember to make it practical and worthwhile. There are already enough religions in the planet and science was never meant to be another. Also, his approach to his endgame reinforces this. Gearhead has used the only thing he knows, technology, to pursue the only thing he wants, higher dimensional awareness. Eventually, he finds himself stranded by technology. He learns that he's resided partially in higher dimensional space the entire time and that his world is already a slice of that higher dimensional space. He realizes that he's not traveling physically, but mentally. He has to open his mind to a new perspective. It's not even an unscientific perspective, it's just the unnoticed elephant in his room. He's spent the entire story locked away in one room and he finally realizes that there's more to the world. And when he sees this new idea, this new perspective, that's when he reaches his goal. It's not about the abandonment of science. It's about keeping an open mind AS a scientist. He's tried everything except leaving his room. Once he does, everything falls into place.
>>> Meatbot is uninspired Cut to Meatbot as he crashes into the land, he crawls up out of the crater, camera pulls back a little and a pair of astoundingly shapely legs stands there, Meatbot looks up, tears forming in his eyes, the beautiful naked woman stands over him, she's smiling brilliantly, she leans down and extends the glowing grail levitating between her hands to Meatbot, Meatbot reaches for it shakily, finally he grasps it and brings it to his lips, he takes a long draw from it and collapses onto his back, the world shimmers and colors increase in vibrancy, everything is turning shiny, large-eyed smiling animals pop out of nowhere and begin prancing around meatbot, singing and dancing, some wear clothes and others are nude, their exaggerated genitalia flapping all over the place,
they start a disney style orgy around Meatbot, birds fucking on the fly even, Meatbot's head looks around confusedly Meatbot thinks: What the hell? ... His eyes roll into the back of his head, blood trickles from his nose/eyes/ears/mouth and the page goes black >>> I know you are going to absolutely hate this ending, but I think it's fucking hilarious. Meatbot spends his entire time being all degrees of bad ass in the singleminded pursuit of his holy grail, and once he finally gets it, it turns out to be the gayest thing imaginable, a rainbow, disney, furry orgy, I would have made them all gay, but I have a hard enough time picturing you working up the nerve to draw this one as is, anyways, everything he has worked for turns out to be the complete opposite of his very character, whether he dies from OD, from incurred injuries or from the shock of being caught in the midst of a mass furry orgy is up to the reader. Please just think about it a little before you turn it down flatly, and please don't turn it down just because you don't want to draw deer and rabbit penis, I've done a lot on this book I didn't want to already