Elias Condakes

12 October 2020
Dr. Maria Perez
Human Development

Blog Post

This chapter has caused me to take a deep look into my own life as a white cis-gendered male
living in a heteronormative predominantly white christian society. In the first component to my
upbringing (as aligned to the developmental niche model of child development) I had a large living space
in comparison to others, as I grew up in an otherwise affluent area of the metro-west section of
Massachusetts (a state well known for an excellent public education system.) Suffice it to say, I was
privileged beyond belief. I had plenty of toys and objects with which to play, and reading was encouraged
by both my parents and the school system. By the time I was in second grade (age 8) I was devouring the
Harry Potter series.
Two major events within my family occurred when I was growing up that I can recall, the first of
which being the divorce of my godmother (Nouna in greek) who is my mother’s sister to her first
husband. The second being my grandmother (Yiayia Amalia in greek) having to battle with lymphoma
when I was around the age of 7. All of this to say, at one point Nouna lived with us, and at one point
Yiayia was in the hospital and Papou Louie (my grandfather) came to live with us and Yiayia came here
for rehab. Yiayia Amalia and Papou Louie were greek immigrants who brought up their two daughters
(my mother and Nouna) in South Portland, Maine. They were humble people, and Papou Louie had a
restaurant well known in Portland. He would send his money back to Greece to support his family. Yiayia
got a job at Porches (a store similar to Macy’s or Gimball’s) and provided for my mother and Nouna.
My father, on the other hand, works for a family business that has been around since 1912. His
parents were the son and daughter of greek immigrants and kept close to their culture, but understood the
importance of assimilation.
All of this effectively brought two Greek Orthodox Christian republicans together thanks to Regis
College being the closest school down the street from a Greek Orthodox Church that Yiayia Amalia
would let Nouna go to for college. Those republicans are my parents, and I believe firmly based on the
developmental niche theory as well as the family systems theory that their beliefs are based firmly in the
circles around them as well as the otherwise standard western upbringing they received. Perhaps the only
difference between them would be the amount of money that was made between the two families, but
both exuded extreme humility amongst themselves, and the hierarchs of the Greek Orthodox Church saw
the union of the two families as something meant to be.
Within the second component of my upbringing, we see the fairytale upbringing - strict bed time
from otherwise strict and conservative but loving and supportive parents. Each season brought upon a
different sport that was to be played, and while theatre was where my heart lied, they kept it a very
specific treat for me to either go to the local community theatre in support of one of my cousins or
siblings, or to eventually do my first show with the church at age 9. Training was very dependence based
where I had to learn very specifically how to do things and be shown very specifically by trainers in both
physical and occupational therapy as I had low muscle tone. I was an IEP student in my early years who
went through with undiagnosed (until a few sessions with my therapist) ADD tendencies and possibly
manic episodes. Teachers worked hard to keep me in line with the work and play patterns, and I used
imaginative play a LOT. I pretended anything and everything was somehow magical or mystical or
mysterious and I felt my fantasy as hard as I could.
Within the third component of the developmental niche, as I have previously described, the
psychology of my caregivers is heavily based on their identity and upbringing as they have a strong sense
of community within their church and within those who they grew up with, and within those who share
similar politically minded values. My parents are very fiscally conservative and believe strongly that as
their son, it is only my responsibility to move out when I am financially ready to do so. They believe that
it was incredibly important to have me go to whichever school I wanted and to pay for it themselves
without me worrying about any sort of loans, and as a graduation gift after I got my first job, they gave
me money that I put towards my first car (and then had me pay off the rest so I could build good credit,
another fiscal gift on their part). My father was an economics major and works for the family business
which is the produce market on the Chelsea Everett border. He is easily one of the smartest men I know,
and can find his way out of any section of Boston without needing a GPS. I envy his brain. However, in
terms of politics, while at one time I was incredibly closely aligned to my parents, thanks in large part to
what could only be explained through the family systems theory, I now differ a great deal from my
parents politically while still loving them as much as I do.
One thing I greatly appreciate are the relationships I build with people, and I believe I built some
of the strongest and potentially most important relationships of my life in college. I went to Boston
University to study advertising, and it was the longest period away from my direct family I had spent. I
was not calling my parents or siblings on a daily basis, and I believe that who I brought into my
microsystem began to rub off on me when I was in college, as virtually all of my peers were incredibly
liberal. However, it really wasn’t until I got my first job that I started to open my eyes to the importance
of social issues in the world. Working at a charter school in Lynn for low-income families and students
came with many different challenges. But I did not expect my beliefs about immigration and social
services to get changed as well. I went from the average socially liberal fiscally conservative white kid to
someone who said “to hell with the economy our world is in the shitter!” I read the rhetoric and went into
it with the same openness that I did with any piece of conservative literature. And when I openly asked
for data to support the claims that were being made with regardless to immigration and poverty, I was
given staggering data that could turn on anyone’s white guilt in a heartbeat. I was surrounded by liberals
who changed my world view not by “bashing one over the head with it” but rather with calm, careful
consideration of what my life experiences were. My work became a very large part of my microsystem
for 4 years, and given the current political climate, I moved over from libertarianism to full fledged
liberal, which I never expected in my wildest dreams to occur. However, here I am. And as far as the
Chronosystem is concerned, the 2016 election was my turning point for this. I found it extremely difficult
to determine who to vote for and have not disclosed this information to anyone.