Journals for 10/26 and 10/29

10/26:

It’s a whole new experience reading these chapters as a story with real, complex

people in it. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never really read the New Testament with

that lens before. Peter specifically has an unbelievably heart-wrenching story when you

look at all the information presented in the synoptic gospels. He tells Jesus that he

would die with him, but Jesus responds by telling him that he would deny him thrice

before the cock crowed a second time. That alone must have been shocking for Peter,

who had such solid faith that Christ was the Son of God. Then imagine his horror when

Judas betrays Jesus, and Jesus just gives himself up. Peter has seen Him perform

incredible miracles, so he must know that if Jesus wanted to He could get out of that

situation safely, and stay with His disciples. Then Peter follows the mob back to where

the Jews are bearing false witness against Jesus.

10/29:

In all the shock and trauma, he must have forgotten what Jesus said, because

he denied being with Christ, and then a cock crowed, and then he denied again, and

when he denied the third time the cock crowed before he could finish speaking, and

Jesus looked him directly in the eyes as Peter remembered what He prophesied less

than a day ago, probably less than 12 hours ago. He left the room and wept bitterly. I
can’t imagine the emotional pain of denying the Son of God in his presence, after being

told he would do that, and then looking Him directly in His eyes. Jesus was his friend

too, so the guilt must have been unbearable.