DIARY OF A

FUSSPOT

Victoria Olasegha
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead, is
purely coincidental.

� Victoria Olasegha 2020

For wives and mothers everywhere.
January 15, 2015

Dear Diary,
There are so many things in life that we have no control over. Whether the sun will
rise or not, whether the day will be cloudy or not is not for us to decide. We have
no control over life or death either. But what about the things that we do have
control over?
My friends have described me as a chronic worrier. I worried about everything. When
I was twelve, I worried that I was too tall. When I was seventeen, I worried that I
was not tall enough. I worried about whether it would be Ike or not when I wanted
to marry. I worried for three years after Ike was ready until one day he told me he
wouldn�t take it any longer and literally pushed me to the altar. I worried about
what I would do after I was married. And then it hit me. It was not as if worrying
added anything to me. Sometimes I just preferred to fuss. It took me a long time to
make this decision but I realized there were some things that I did have control
over.
Like my deciding to be a stay at home mother despite my degree in Business
Administration. I�ve been asked over and over by my friends if my husband pushed me
into it but the truth is this is something I decided on my own. It had nothing to
do with Ike. My therapist friend has asked me if maybe I was trying to compensate
for something in my life perhaps I did not have enough motherly attention as a
child, what with my mother being a medical doctor. But it was none of that. I just
wanted to be at home, make a home for my children. Was that too much to ask?
The women libbers should take a chill pill: I think I am liberated enough. Perhaps
later I shall consider running my own business from home to �empower� myself. But
for now my mind is made up. Stay at home mom all the way.
My first baby is almost a year now. When I look into those little brown eyes its
simply magic. I cannot tell if it�s because she�s so cute and tiny or because I was
involved in the process of making her but I know I want to be there for every
important moment in her life. I want to be right there beside her when she says her
first word which I know will be any moment now. I want to be the first to see her
walk unaided. To be there when she writes her first letter of the alphabet. In a
world of uncertainty, I want her to know her mother would be right at home waiting
for her to come home no matter where she is.
I can smell it. The cake is almost ready. It�s nobody�s birthday but I�m making a
cake just because. One of the advantages of being a stay at home is that you have
enough time to do those special things. Anna coos in her cot and I go and pick her
up. I rock her to and fro and sing nonsensical songs that only she and I
understand. All is right with my world. Until I heard the fire alarm go off.
I brought out a soggy blackened mess. How could I have got so lost in thought? Now
Ike would not have a chance to eat the chocolate cake I had hinted I would make
this morning. For a woman who spent a lot of time at home, I seemed to find it hard
to get anything done.
The doorbell rang and I debated whether to answer it. It was probably my neighbor
Christy. She was also a stay at home mum and she was bored stiff of it. She had
tried her hands at doing something. Opened a provision store and got bored and
tired of it. Got a job at a company but it was too tiring. Her two children were
older than mine. One was five and the other was seven and she was all alone at home
till they came back from school. Apparently, she wasn�t bored and tired of coming
to gist with me over some African Magic. The doorbell rang again, louder this time.
Couldn�t Christy take a hint? I was in no mood for a discussion or speculation
about whether our husbands were having affairs with their secretaries or not.
People like her made me wish sometimes that I was not a stay at home mother.
�Chinelo, I know you are there now. Open the door,� she said.
I sighed. There was no escaping her.
I opened the door to let her in. The sight of her alone gave me a headache.
�What have you been doing since morning?� she demanded.
�I have a headache,� I said which was actually true. The veins in my head were
starting to throb.
�Ndo o, take panadol now,� she offered as she sank on to my sofa. I wondered if I
should bake another batch of cake. I�d already prepared the soup for dinner but I
had promised Ike a special treat today. It would be good to deliver on the promise.
�Ehen Chinelo,�� Christy�s grating voice cut into my thoughts. �Do you know we have
a new neighbor on our street?�
How would I know, I mouthed inaudibly. It wasn�t any concern of mine. She suddenly
got up from the sofa, walked to my refrigerator and took out a soft drink without
asking. I fumed silently. The gall of that woman!
After popping open the drink, she continued. �I only saw one woman with two small
children. I didn�t see her husband. The one that late Chief Baiyero was living in.
I�m not sure they are that comfortable sha. I only saw one Jeep in the compound.
She said her name is Titi Lawrence or something like that.�
I gave an involuntary shudder as I heard the name. Could it be the same Titi
Lawrence I knew in Uni? If it was her, then it meant my arch enemy had suddenly
gotten closer than I wanted. What was she doing moving into my street? Life had
suddenly become very unpredictable of a sudden�

January 17, 2015

Dear Diary,
The first time I saw Titi Lawrence in the University I knew she was trouble. She
suddenly bumped into me on my way to the hostel and then looked at me as if I had
upset her apple cart. Confused, I muttered a �sorry ,� and then she laughed. She
had a tinkling sort of laugh. Even from that first day, it grated on my nerves.
�It�s me that should be apologizing my dear,� she said patronizingly. �Don�t mind
me. I�m just in a hurry to get to class. My name is Titi.�
�Chinelo,� I offered hesitantly.
�Alright Chinelo. See you around,� she said and sauntered off.
I thought no more of it till I saw her in the cafeteria that same afternoon. I was
mildly irritated. Was she following me around?
�Hi again,� she said cheerily as she stood beside me. �What course are you
studying?�
�Business Administration,� I said trying not to show my annoyance.
�Oh. I knew I had seen you somewhere before. We are in the same department.�
Nice, I thought. Gritting my teeth I Now she would never leave me alone.
Out loud, I said: �Ok.� And then proceeded to carry my tray to a nearby table. Sure
enough, Titi was following close at my heels. After a while, I decided to enjoy her
chatter and relax. She knew all the campus gossip and was eagerly pouring out every
juicy detail over her plate of rice. Besides as an established loner, I didn�t have
many friends. I needed all the friends I could get and Titi seemed willing to be
one of them. That was my first mistake.
Christy�s shrill voice broke my reverie again. She had come to visit once more.
�Chinelo did you see that?� she shouted. �That woman turned into a snake! I knew
she was possessed.�
I hissed inwardly and sighed aloud. Christy and her obsession with African Magic.
I needed to get her to leave so I could concentrate on other things. Like plotting
how I could see Titi Lawrence without being obvious. But before then�
�Ehen Christy did you give the new neighbor a welcome present?� I ask Christy.
Christy turns her face towards me, momentarily confused. �Welcome present? Biko,
which one be that?�
I scrunch my eyebrows. With all her TV watching, didn�t she watch Desperate
Housewives?
�Christy.� I say with exaggerated patience. �When a neighbor moves into your street
the proper thing is to go and say hello to them and offer them a welcome gift. It�s
usually food especially baked goods. It�s a sign of being thoughtful.�
Christy laughed. �Thoughtful kwa? That one na oyinbo business o. It no concern me.�
I was not to be deterred. I shook my head determinedly.
�No Christy. In this our estate we will do the right thing. So you and I will take
a cake over to that Titi Lawrence�s house to officially welcome her into the
community.�
Christy shrugged. �As long as you would bake the cake.�
I had expected this. �Of course I will.�
�You get time,� Christy observed and yawned. �Chinelo I�m hungry o. Haven�t you
cooked anything?�
Now was the time to get her out.
�See, Christy you just reminded me. I have a lot of work to do. I need to dust the
furniture before I start cooking so please you will need to excuse me.�
Christy got up and stretched. �So you are driving me away abi?�
I didn�t answer. �See you tomorrow Christy.� And I closed the door behind her.
I got a rag and began dusting the furniture. I had no idea what would happen when I
came across Titi Lawrence again.

January 20, 2015

Dear Diary,
I was nervous as I stood in front of the two story duplex. Christy loudly smacked
on a wad of gum. I had written: �Welcome to the neighborhood,� in spidery letters
across the top of the cake. Now as I held it, it looked like a childish scrawl. The
last thing I would want is for Titi Lawrence to poke fun at my famous chocolate
cake.
We knocked lightly then slightly louder. No answer. We waited and knocked again.
Then suddenly a pale red rimmed face appeared at the door. I almost did not
recognize her. It was Titi. What could be wrong with her? Would she recognize me?
�Hi, welcome to the neighborhood,� I said and offered her the cake.
She took it and smiled but her smile didn�t seem to quite reach her eyes.
�Thank you very much,� she said softly.
�I am Christy and she is Chinelo,� Christy offered in between smacks of chewing.
I saw something that looked like a flicker in Titi�s eyes. Was it recognition?
�My name is Titi. Titi Banjoko. It�s so nice to have such wonderful neighbors,� she
said absently.
Beside me, Christy was nudging me to take note of something but I couldn�t see
whatever it was she wanted me to see.
�Well we live over there,� I said pointing to my modest bungalow and Christy�s more
opulent duplex.
�We�re very sociable here. Feel free to drop in anytime,� I said hoping she would
invite me too.
�I�ll be sure to take note of that,� Titi said. �Thanks again Chinelo and Christy.
My family truly appreciates this.� She made a move as if to close the door.
�I do not mean to be rude but I really must go now as I have some pressing matters
to attend to.�
�Of course,� I mumbled. �Not a problem.�
�We understand,� Christy added and we backed away.
On the way back home Christy was full of chatter about Titi. About how red her eyes
looked and how old her weave-on was and that it needed changing and how expensive
her brocade material was.
I was concerned with only one thing.
Titi was sad for some reason. And I wanted to know why. I was fairly certain that
to maintain her image in the community she would try to repay us with a culinary
feat of her own. Perhaps when she did it, I would have my chance to talk with her.
The baby was soaked when I got home never mind that I had left her with her
grandmother who had come to visit for a few days. But granny was interested in the
intriguing characters on African magic. I was beginning to hate those TV stations.
The things it does to good women.
I had barely got the baby changed and dinner on the cooker when Ike arrived. He was
earlier than usual and he did not look happy. It seemed he was trying to hide it
from me because he tried to act as if nothing was amiss. I waited till after dinner
to ask him but he wouldn�t say.
�It�s nothing dear. I�m just tired,� he said planting a kiss on my forehead. My
internal radar told me that that wasn�t all. But I didn�t want to push. He did look
tired. My brain was very active though wondering what it could be. It wasn�t that
he was getting laid off work, was he? Did his business deal go sour? Would we have
to move from this house? Perhaps I should find a job immediately. I managed to stop
myself. Breathe, Chinelo breathe, I told myself. God�s got this, whatever it is.
Titi showed up sooner than I expected. I was rounding up some business online the
next day when the doorbell rang. It was Titi with her culinary feat. She had made a
batch of homemade cookies. She appeared brighter than the previous day and she said
nothing about recognizing me from an earlier time. I was quick to invite her in and
then I took one of the cookies she had made. It was absolutely scrumptious. I had
expected nothing less. Titi at her competitive best.
�These cookies are amazing Titi. Your husband must be truly lucky to be able to
enjoy such wonderful cooking,� I said as she sipped on a glass of lemonade.
To my shock and dismay, she suddenly burst into tears. She wept profusely for about
five minutes while I awkwardly put a hand on her shoulder and got her a tissue.
Then she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and looked at me with a tearful smile.
�I�m really sorry Chinelo. I�ve just been stressed a lot lately with the move and
all and my nerves are not handling it very well.��
I looked at her with concern. Her skin looked almost translucent. �Are you sure
that�s all it is?�
�Yes. I�m fine.� She seemed embarrassed or standoffish and she got up to leave.
�Thanks a lot Chinelo. See you around.�
I walked her to the door with many thoughts swirling through my mind. Clearly she
was hiding something but what? And how could I find out?

January 21, 2015

Dear Diary,
Unfortunately, I wasn�t the only one who saw Titi�s tear stained face the previous
day. Apparently Christy had seen it too when Titi was walking back home because by
midday the next day she was knocking on my door. Somehow that woman manages to see
everything from her window. How she does that in between watching African magic and
forever fixing her nails I�ll never know. Ok, maybe I exaggerate a little.
�So what was wrong with her?� Christy demanded to know.
Did she think I was a psychic?
�She told me she thinks it�s the stress of the move. That it affected her nerves,�
I said flatly.
Christy laughed in disbelief. �Tell that to the birds my friend!�
�I told you since the first day I met her I knew she was hiding something. Maybe
she�s in some financial trouble. Only politicians can afford that kind of house
which I doubt she is. Or maybe she has a terminal illness like cancer. Or maybe her
husband is cheating on her��
�Christy stop, just stop speculating!� I said and raised a hand attempting to halt
the conversation.
�We should be praying for the woman not speculating about what is happening to
her.�
�Yes, we should pray Chinelo. But is it not better to know what to pray about so
our prayers would be focused? You should have asked her Chinelo. If I was here I
would have got it from her.�
I�m sure you would, I thought dryly.
Aloud I said: �It doesn�t matter Christy. We can pray for her all the same.�
Then in an attempt to put an end to the subject, I put on the TV for her while I
excused myself to change and feed the baby. While doing that, my mind kept
reverting to something Christy had said about her husband. From the way Titi
reacted it seemed plausible that the cause of her upset could stem from her
marriage, because I had just mentioned her husband�s name before she burst into
tears. Whatever it was, I had a strong hunch that it had something to do with her
husband. How to find out the truth and how to help her I didn�t really have a clue.
Ike came back home the same way he left looking perplexed and bothered. My tall
handsome muscular husband with a perpetually smiley face now having worry wrinkles
on his forehead and a frown was not something I was used to. Still, he would not
talk to me or reveal what the problem was. I wanted to force a showdown. Talk to me
or else�
Then I thought better of it. It may only make things worse. He would talk in his
own time. Then a thought crept into my brain. He better not be cheating on me or
else�I could feel myself breaking into a sweat. I got down on my knees and prayed.
God was the revealer of secrets. He alone knew what was going on in Ike and Titi�s
minds. Anna needed my attention and I was getting ready to feed her when Ike came
into the nursery.
��There�s been an investigation in the company Chinelo,� he said plopping down
beside me. We had auditors come in and now I�m being accused of corruption. Myself
and two other branch managers.�
I nearly put the baby down as the icy hands of fear gripped my heart. No, this
could not be happening.
Ike�s voice droned on. It seemed like it was coming from far away. �I have been
suspended for two weeks until this issue is sorted out.�
His hands grip mine. �I don�t want you to worry Chinelo. We�re going to be fine.� I
nod dumbly while I see flashbacks of the Louie Vuitton bag he bought me for my
birthday and our trip to Paris last year. It couldn�t be that it was true, could
it? I knew Ike. He wouldn�t do a thing like that. Or would he?
I knew I was supposed to say something encouraging to him but I just nodded dumbly.
He answered my unspoken question. �I didn�t do it Chinelo,� he said softly.
I hugged him in relief. �Of course you didn�t,� I whispered in his ear. Nonetheless
my safe secure world had come crashing down.

January 25, 2015

Dear Diary,
What do you do after your safe secure world has come crashing down?
Well, you get up and keep going. And that was what I had decided to do. Ike�s news
was terrible and that first night I had a horrible nightmare that the police came
to arrest him. He woke up and we prayed together. Our predicament was made even
more real when for the first time in years I realized that Ike would not dress up
to go to work.
�I�ve been suspended honey,� he said softly when I asked him why he wasn�t
preparing to go out. Of course, silly me, I thought. It still seemed like I was
living in a dream.
�Let�s try to look on the bright side of things honey. At least I would be able to
spend more time with Anna.� He said trying to smile. Bright side? I thought. There
is no bright side to this.
Then I realized this was harder for him than even for me. He was trying to stay
positive. I needed to try too. �Yeah, Ok,� I said with a bright smile. �I�m putting
you in charge of nappy duty.�
That was a stroke of genius on my part. Bright side for both me and him. What
better way for father to bond with child than changing soiled nappies?
I found time to do other things since I didn�t constantly have to worry about the
baby. I polished the floors till they shone. I washed my hair. Then I remembered
that my flowers needed a little watering and that was when the trouble started.
As soon as I came out with my watering can I noticed that Christy was in front of
her house watering her own flowers. For one spilt second I wanted to run inside but
she had already spotted me. I could never allow her to find out that Ike wasn�t
going to work. The whole neighborhood would hear in minutes.
�Hey,� she called out cheerily. �Looks like we�ve got the same idea.�
Oh why today of all days, I grumbled inwardly but managed a smile. �Sure does.�
�How come Ike�s car is in the driveway?� she said pointing to his Lexus. �Is he at
home?�
For a spilt second I considered saying no and then thought better of it.
�Yes he is,� I said shortly. �He needs to rest.�
�Oh ok. Hope all is well,� Christy said with concern on her face.
�Everything is fine,� I replied. That was a declaration of faith.
To my relief, she didn�t press further but launched on to what was for her a more
interesting topic.
�So have you seen Titi since that time?� she asked me.
I had all but forgotten about Titi in the wake of Ike�s news.
�No I haven�t,� I replied. Perhaps I should give her a call. Besides it would
distract my mind from Ike�s horrors at work. I had managed to pry her number out of
her when she came to my house. And it seemed like she still didn�t remember me from
our undergraduate days.
�I hope she�s fine though,� Christy said with such warmth that I looked at her with
some amazement. Had I been judging this woman too harshly? Was she less shallow
than I had originally thought?
�I hope so too,� I said.
Once I got in I picked up my mobile phone and dialed.
�Hello,� I said when she picked the call.
�Please who is this?� The voice sounded groggy somewhat. Perhaps she had been
taking a nap.
�It�s me Chinelo,� I said cheerily hoping she wouldn�t be annoyed that I woke her
up.
�Oh Chinelo,� she said in recognition and then stopped in midsentence as I heard a
loud clang and the sound of something breaking�like glass.
�Stop it, stop it,� Titi shouted then she realized she was still on the phone with
me. �Sorry Chinelo, I have to go.�
��Is everything all right?� I was saying when she cut me off.
I tried calling back after a few minutes but she wasn�t answering. Dear God, I
hoped she was alright. What could be going on there?
I called several times and an hour later I got a text message that said:
�I am fine Chinelo. One of my boys just broke a set of dishes accidentally. Thanks
so much for your call. See you soon.�
I didn�t believe it. It sounded like someone deliberately broke something.
Something was definitely going on in her house and now more than ever I was
determined to find out what it was. I wouldn�t wait another day.

January 26, 2015

Dear Diary,
I knew that it could be difficult for me to get to see her but I was determined to
try. I needed to tell her who I truly was. Perhaps that would get her to open up to
me. It was only a five minute walk to her house and so I set out.
I realized that I hadn�t told Ike about her yet. I wasn�t sure why. Titi had nearly
cost us everything in school. When I met her I was just considering dating Ike
Amadi the hot guy in my faculty three years older than me and two years my senior.
He had asked me out on my way to the hostel from class and I was so surprised that
he would be interested in shy, diffident me. All I could do was nervously stammer
that I would think about it. Then I avoided him for about two weeks
It didn�t take long before I told Titi about it. She was amused at my reticence and
inexperience and then said she wanted to meet him to see if he would be a good fit
for me.
�I don�t want anyone taking advantage of you my friend. I know you like him but I
don�t want that to cloud your judgment,� she said grasping my hand.
She seemed very sincere and I believed her. I didn�t know that that meeting spelt
the beginning of doom.
I came out of my reverie when I discovered that I had reached the front of her
house and pressed Titi�s doorbell and waited for a response. Nothing. I pressed it
again.
A boy who looked to be about seven with Tit�s eyes came to the door. He had a sad,
lost look as he greeted me.
�I would like to see your mother,� I told him.
�She�s resting ma. Can I take a message?�
Smart kid, I thought. I wasn�t sure I believed him or not but I didn�t think it
would be right for me to push it. Perhaps it could wait another day.
�What�s your name?� I asked him.
�Ayomide,� he replied. For someone whose name meant �happiness had arrived�, he
didn�t look very happy.
�Ok. Just tell your mum I stopped by and that I need to discuss something important
with her. I�ll come again tomorrow. Do you understand what I said?�
He nodded vigorously and watched me as I walked away.
As I walked home, I got lost in my thoughts again. I had been so na�ve in school.
Titi told me to invite him to my room where she and I would be waiting to meet him.
It was difficult for me to muster the courage to speak to Ike on my own but I
spotted him leaving one of his classes one day and the words just tumbled out.
He smiled and agreed to come. I was nervous that Saturday evening but Titi was with
me and Ike arrived promptly at five dressed in a jersey and jeans and looking even
more handsome than usual.
Titi had warned me to act cool while she appraised him. I bought him a cold drink
and watched as she dominated the entire conversation. She seemed to do a good job
of scrutinizing him. She asked him about his plans after school, what his hobbies
were, whether he attended church regularly. She asked questions I would have been
too shy and afraid to ask. I sat there nearly mute the entire time. Ike smiled and
responded to her questions with relative ease but when it appeared as if the
conversation was becoming more of an interrogation he stood up to leave. I escorted
him out of the hostel and then he turned to me asked me why I was quiet.
�Nothing.� I mumbled. He said he hoped to see me around and left.
I was eager to hear what Titi, my more experienced friend in this matters thought
of him. When I got back to my room, she was waiting with a frown on her face.
�Chinelo, honestly I don�t think you should date that Ike boy.� She said giving me
a serious look. �He seems like a shifty person. I don�t trust him.�
When she saw my crestfallen look, she said. �Ok. You know what? Let me find out
more about him. If he�s any good, I�ll let you know. If not, I�ll tell you. But for
now, I think you should stay away from him. I think he wants to take advantage of
you.�
Looking back now, it seems incredulous that I was so naive. But I was. Na�ve enough
to believe her every word.

January 31st, 2015

Dear Diary,
Ike was dozing on the couch in front of the TV when I got home with the baby on his
lap. He had a beatific smile on his face. I had just returned from the supermarket.
Anna was pinching his nose and grinning at him. It seemed like this father daughter
bonding thing was working real well. I watched them for a while and then went to
the kitchen to make supper.
As I peeled the yams for my special yam pottage recipe, my thoughts went back to
Titi and her elaborate schemes. I didn�t know it till much later but after my first
meeting with Ike, she planned another one with him. The one where she told him that
I was just a little girl who didn�t know anything and he should look for a real
woman to be with; a woman like her. The one where he told her he wasn�t interested.
Then she came back to me and told me that she had found out that Ike had asked five
other girls out in our faculty and he just wanted to use me as his plaything seeing
how innocent I was. I never thought to question her. I believed her totally and
thanked her for saving me from potential heartbreak.
She told me not to worry, that she would get me a decent boyfriend. She actually
introduced me to two guys but it was very awkward when we met. We literally had
nothing to say to each other. I ignored Ike when we passed each other at the
faculty. He called out to me several times but I never answered.
One night I was going to the classrooms to do some reading up when I saw a familiar
figure in the shadows. I moved closer to see and sure enough it was Titi, talking
to a guy. That wasn�t unusual. I had actually lost track of her boyfriends. She had
so many of them. Then she put a hand on the boy�s arm and then he turned and I saw
it was Ike. I felt sick. What were they both doing here in the middle of the night
behind the classrooms? She leaned over to hug him and I hurried away, hoping they
hadn�t seen me.
That night in class, I couldn�t read. I tried to analyze what I had seen. Surely it
couldn�t be what I thought. She told me to stay away from Ike and I assumed she was
staying away from him too. Was Titi really my friend or had she been deceiving me
the whole time? There had to be an innocent explanation to all this. I debated
whether to ask her or not. It was the first time I was beginning to doubt her.
I watched her for a few days before I finally decided to confront her. I hoped she
would tell me something convincing. Something that would let me know she hadn�t
been pretending to me for months. Then she said something like: �Look Chinelo, all
I was doing was for your own good. You couldn�t have handled Ike. He�s the kind of
guy who wants something casual but you want to go the whole nine yards. I just
wanted a casual fling with him that�s all.�
It was then I realized how clueless I had been. I took one long look at her and I
told her I never wanted to see or talk to her again. I do not know where my new
found boldness came from but the next day I sought Ike out and told him I wanted to
talk to him. It was one of the best decisions I had ever made.
I never heard from Titi and the last I knew she had left school to get married to
one oil well guy. Never heard from her until now. I needed to tell Ike about her, I
thought as I stirred my sauce on the cooker. Then I left it to simmer and went to
the living room.
�I have something to tell you,� I said as I sat on the sofa beside him. I was
surprised that his face looked ashen. There was also a look of consternation on his
face.
�What is it?� I asked him.
�It was my office,� he said. �They just called and asked me to find myself a good
lawyer.�
I opened my mouth in disbelief. A lawyer? Was he being criminally charged? My world
was spinning around me again.
�I think they want me to get one as a precaution,� Ike was saying. �They�re still
investigating but it looks bad.�
�Ike-�, I said unable to voice out the question in my head.
�I didn�t do this honey,� he said reading my thoughts. �But whoever did seems
determined to implicate me.� He got up and gave the baby to me and out a hand on my
shoulder.
��I�ll make some calls. Find out where I can get a good lawyer. We�ll get through
this.�
I desperately wanted to believe him but there was a sinking feeling in the pit of
my stomach. Suddenly, whatever I wanted to tell him about Titi seemed unimportant.
I went about the rest of the day in a daze and spent most of the night figuring out
the worst possible scenario. Ike could get arrested. We may have to sell
everything. We may lose this house. I might have a nervous breakdown. They may take
my baby Anna from me for being an unfit mother. I tried to stem the flow of my
active imagination. Of course, things couldn�t get as bad as that. I remember what
my friend and pastor told me when I was undecided about whether to marry Ike or
not.
�Only God knows the future Chinelo. No matter how much we speculate and try to
figure out what may happen, He�s the One holding all the cards and He knows how to
deal them. Instead of giving ourselves headaches and developing ulcers, we need to
trust Him to be in charge and know that His plans towards us are for good and not
evil.�
After hours of tossing and turning, I finally told God how I felt. I asked him to
glorify himself in our situation and that Ike be proven innocent. All thoughts of
Titi had vanished from my mind.

February 1st, 2015

Dear Diary,
I was casually looking online the next day for job ads when my phone rang. It was
Titi.
�I�m sorry to bother you Chinelo but I didn�t know who else to call. My husband is
out of town.�
It turned out that she was in the neighborhood hospital. She had fallen down a
flight of stairs and had to have her face stitched. She had managed to drive
herself to the hospital but now she was a little dizzy whether from the anesthesia
or the fall she didn�t know but she couldn�t drive herself back home.
I didn�t like the sound of this. Didn�t like it all. Why would she be falling down
the stairs? Or did someone push her?
�I�m on my way,� I said. I left Anna with Christy and told her I needed to run a
quick errand.
When I saw her, I almost wept. She looked pretty banged up. Although her injuries
were not severe enough to warrant an admission except for observation which she
vehemently refused, she still looked like a truck had run over her.
�Chinelo, thank you so much for coming,� she said gratefully. She put her hand in
mine and I could trace her veins. She seemed so delicate and fragile. I looked at
her face. The bruises were big and ugly and her face was swollen. Was this really a
flight of stairs injury?
�Titi, something has been going on in your house.� I said directly as soon as we
got into the car. �I�d like to know what it is. I want to help you.�
She shook her head. �It�s nothing Chinelo.�
�Don�t lie to me Titi. Someone has been acting really violent in your house. First
the incident in your house the other day when I heard glass being shattered and now
this.
Is it your husband? Has he been beating you? You can tell me.�
She broke down in tears and my heart bled for her. �I can�t tell anyone Chinelo.
He�ll kill me.�
I was shocked. That bad? �How long has this been going on?� I demanded to know.
She suddenly clammed up and wiped her tears. �Please Chinelo, I can�t talk about it
any longer. Please. And you can�t breathe a word of it to anyone please. My husband
is a wonderful man. I love him and he loves me,� she said in a flat voice.
�But-� I began
�No buts,� she interjected. �If you�re my friend like you say you are you would let
this issue rest. And just take me home. And please not a word to anyone. I only
fell down a flight of stairs.�
I was stunned by her denial. Titi was in some deep trouble here. Why would she want
to pretend she was not? I said nothing but turned my attention to the road. In
minutes we were in her house. �It must have been really difficult,� I said.
�Finding your way to the hospital all by yourself.�
�I had no choice,� she said ruefully. Her two sons had gone off to spend the
weekend at a family friends� house. And the cut she had sustained wouldn�t stop
bleeding.
I followed her into the house and tried to make sure she was comfortable. She
looked really shaken up and was shivering. After some directions, I made her a cup
of tea. Perhaps what she needed most was a friend at this moment. I would let the
matter of her husband rest for now. But I couldn�t ignore it forever like she was
doing. What if he got more and more violent? Who knew the horrors she had been
through?
�Thank you so much Chinelo. My son told me that you had come to check on me the day
before. You�re really a wonderful neighbor, going to all that trouble for someone
you barely know. I�m sorry I wasn�t able to see you when you came.
I debated again whether to tell her who I really was. But she looked so emotional
and fragile I didn�t want to add another burden on her. The burden of guilt for
something she had done so many years ago. I would tell her when she was stable.
�It�s no bother Titi,� I said and put on the television for her. She told me a bit
about herself. How she had run a successful business in the fashion industry before
moving to this estate.
�But my husband wants me now to focus on our children. They are growing into their
teen years and you know how headstrong these boys can be.�
I didn�t know but I nodded sagely. I hoped somehow that I would be able to steer
the topic back to her husband again but it didn�t happen for the hour and a half I
sat with her.
When I was leaving, I admonished her to call me if she needed anything. She told me
she would be fine. That the maid would arrive in a couple of hours but yes, she
promised to call me.
I went home with a heavy heart, my mind filled with different thoughts none of
which was pleasant.
I found time to tell Ike after dinner about Titi and her problems. He had gotten a
lawyer that day and he seemed a bit optimistic. They would have a meeting the next
day.
�The truth is my defense,� Ike said between forkfuls of rice.
The Bible did say the truth would set you free. I hoped it would set my husband
free.
He was sympathetic when he heard of Titi�s plight.
�That poor woman,� he said between forkfuls of rice. He put a hand on mine. �I wish
I can tell you what to do now, whether to report to the police or something. I
think you should encourage her to stay away from her husband for a while.�
I nodded in agreement not sure what to do. My world seemed so uncertain and unsure.
�At least we could keep praying for her.�
Prayer, that�s all I seemed to be doing these days.
I picked the baby up and rocked her while I distracted myself with the television.

February 2nd, 2015

Dear Diary,
The next day I sat at the edge of the sofa nervously waiting for Ike to call and
tell me about his meeting with the lawyer. My phone rang and I flew to pick it. It
was Titi.
�Hi Chinelo, I need to talk,� she said.
She wanted me to come to her house. I didn�t want to leave Anna alone with Christy
for the second time in one week (she would start asking questions) so I took her
with me.
Titi looked a bit better than the previous day but was still a little wan. Her
husband had come home last night and had tried to hit her again but she had
threatened to call the police and he left.
Titi looked at me squarely and said: �Enough is enough Chinelo. I want a divorce.�
She then proceeded to give me details of her marital history. Their marriage hadn�t
always been like that. She had met him while we were in school. His family owned an
oil well. He had convinced her to drop out and promised to take care of her. While
they were engaged, he hit her once after an argument but apologized profusely for
it. She believed it was a mistake but the beatings continued after the wedding. And
they got more protracted and more violent. They had a son and she stayed with him
because she loved him and her son.
This was the first time his beating had landed her in a hospital though.
�But Chinelo I love him. And what about our son? What do I do?� I shook my head
because I had no answer.
�Maybe you should get away from him Titi, at least for a while,� I said repeating
what my husband had said.
She broke down, sobbing. And I cradled her in my arms till she fell asleep. I left
a note for her telling her we would talk more later.
As soon as I got into my driveway, I saw Christy standing in front of my house, her
hands on her hips.
�Madam, where have you been?��
Before I could answer her, my phone rang. It was Ike.
�It�s bad Chi,� he said without preamble. �Very bad.�

February 3rd, 2015

Dear Diary,
I cut the phone and tried to edge my way past Christy into the house. I was holding
Anna in my arms.
She tapped my arm. �Not now Christy,� I snapped. She was taken aback.
�Look, I�m sorry,� I said apologetically. �There are a lot of things I need to do
right now.�
She smiled sympathetically. �Chinelo, I did not come here to trouble you. I�m just
concerned. You seem to have a lot going on.��
For a brief moment, I was about to let my guard down and tell her was happening and
how helpless I felt. But I mentally shook it off.
�Yes, you�re right. I have been pretty busy lately. But everything is under
control,� I smiled.
�Alright,� she said giving me a disbelieving gaze.
�I�ll see you some other time.��
I sighed and let myself into the living room. And then I sat down on the sofa and
my eyes began to water.
Then I got up. It was no use crying. I had to brace myself for what was coming. Ike
needed me. He would most certainly need me.
With stoic resolve I went to prepare dinner thinking that I may not have time to
prepare my elaborate dinners once I started working full time again.
That evening when Ike came in he looked bedraggled, worse than I had ever seen him.
He looked like�someone who had lost hope. It was heartbreaking.
I was almost afraid to ask him anything.
�It seems like I�ve been properly framed,�� he said bitterly. �How could I have
been so stupid?�
�It appears that my deputy manager has been siphoning money from the company into
another account but traced everything back to me. He took leave about a month ago.
We�ve tried to contact him but he seems to have left the country and we can�t reach
him anywhere. He�s just disappeared.�
I couldn�t trust myself to say anything.
�I was really so stupid Chi. I let Andrew do a lot of things, gave him a lot of
responsibility. I let him handle so many clients� accounts, not knowing he was
stealing money. I trusted him.�
For the first time since I knew my husband, he looked like he was going to cry.
I went to sit by him and held his hands and for a long time that�s all we did. Hold
hands.
�What do we do now? What are our options?� I said softly.
�I�m being charged with conspiracy to commit fraud. There�s going to be a hearing
in a few weeks. I don�t know what�s going to happen then. But for now, I�m out of a
job, although we still have our savings��
Then he looked up at me with some alarm. �They might freeze my accounts. The lawyer
said that was possible. We have to get the money out of there.�
Suddenly tears began to stream down his face and I held my husband. How could I be
expected to be the strong one, me the weak fussy anxious woman that I was? My heart
was breaking as I held him.
What were we going to do? Where was God in all this?

February 5th, 2015

Dear Diary,
I was irritated as I heard the incessant knocking on my front door. It was Christy.
The last person I expected or wanted to see at this time as I filled in my job
applications online.
�I�m busy Christy,� I said cutting her off. I really wasn�t in the mood.
She gave me a sad smile. �I can see that Chinelo.� She paused and looked me
straight in the eye. �I know there�s something going on with you Chi and I know you
don�t trust me enough to tell me what it is��
�Christy-� I began but she stopped me and placed a hand on my arm.
�You don�t have to tell me what it is Chinelo. I just wanted to let you know that
I�m here for you. If you need help with babysitting or anything, just let me know.
You�re my only friend in this neighborhood Chinelo and I just want you to know that
I care about you.�
I couldn�t say anything but held out my hands to her and we shared a brief hug. I
had judged this woman too harshly, I thought to myself.
�Thank you Christy,� I said in a voice barely above a whisper.
She smiled and left. I sighed. Her honest care and concern was like balm to my
soul.
Ike came towards the door as I locked it. He had been having difficulty sleeping at
night and there were dark circles under his eyes. He was dozing fitfully before
Christy came. The knock must have woken him up.
�Sorry honey, it was Christy. But she�s gone now.�
�What did she want?� he said gruffly.
�Just checking up on me.� I saw the question in his eyes and sought to allay his
fears. �No, I didn�t tell her anything. She said I didn�t have to either. She
seemed genuinely concerned like a friend.� I tried to reassure him knowing it was
me and my voiced opinion of Christy that made him question her ability to keep her
mouth shut.
�Humph. Friends. Don�t let people deceive you o Chi. See what happened to me. I
thought he was my friend.�
I put my arms around him. �We�ll get through this Ike, I promise.�
He sighed. �Chi, sit down. There�s something I want to talk to you about.�
I sat down with some trepidation. I didn�t want to hear any more bad news.
�We have to sell the house Chi. It�s the only way we can raise some capital to
offset some of the costs for the lawyer and even for paying the company back.�
I shook my head voluntarily. Selling the house? That was the makings of my worst
nightmare. It would mean that everything that we worked so hard to build had come
undone.
�No, Ike. There must be some other way. See, I�m looking for work. I applied today.
I�ll find something soon.�
Ike ran a hand through his hair. �Look Chi, I appreciate that really. But we need
to be practical. We need quite a bit of money.�
�Ike let�s sell one of the cars then. Please let�s not talk about selling the house
except as a last resort.�
Ike sighed again and I felt rather desperate. God, please don�t let us lose our
house!
�Whatever you say honey.�
I watched him as he walked back to the room. He seemed a shell of what he once was.
The preliminary hearing was in two weeks. The lawyer told us that the court
proceedings could drag on forever and it was only by God�s mercy that he hadn�t
been put in jail before the hearing. We needed a miracle. That man who stole this
money needed to come back and pay for his crimes.
Ten minutes later, my phone rang. It was Titi. I had forgotten her in the past few
days as I was immersed in my own problems.
�Hi Chinelo,� she said without preamble as soon as I picked the call. �There�s
something I want to ask you.�
�Yes. What is it?� I said in an even tone. Her voice sounded like it was really
something important.
�Are you Chinelo nee Mbekwe, and did you attend University of Nigeria, Nssuka in
2007?�
Wow, I thought. She had figured it out before I had an opportunity to tell her.
�Yes,� I said softly.
She sighed into the phone.
�Yes, I thought so. So you came to my house and pretended to be my friend and heard
all my secrets just so that you could get back at me because of what happened at
school?� She said her voice rising.
I couldn�t believe my ears. Did she know how preposterous she sounded?
�Of course not. Why on earth would you think that?�
�Then why did you not let me know you were the one since we first met. I bet you
and your husband have been having a good laugh at my misfortune.�
I didn�t know whether to laugh or cry. So I waited for her to take a breath, but
she continued: �Well then, I have had enough of being laughed at. Don�t call me or
come to my house again!�
With that, she ended the call.
I stared at my phone for five minutes. Then I decided I needed a cup of good strong
coffee because apparently everything that was happening was a bad dream and I
needed to wake up.

February 8th, 2015

Dear Diary,
That night I couldn�t sleep. I just tossed and turned on my bed and wondered where
God was. I wanted to awaken from this living nightmare where nothing seemed right.
As if sensing my frustration, Anna fussed in her cot and I got up to cuddle her. I
was surprised when Ike came out of the bedroom to join us in the nursery.
�What�s the matter dear? Is she ok?�
�She�s fine,� I said placing her back gently in her cot.
�Are you ok dear? You�ve been restless all night,� he said putting a hand on my
shoulder. I sighed. So he had noticed.
�I�ll be fine Ike. Just thinking.�
He put his arms around me but strangely at that moment I didn�t want to be held. I
just wanted the storm to pass. I just wanted things to be the way they used to be
before this evil wind blew.
We went back to bed and I finally settled into a dreamless sleep.
In the morning, I eagerly checked my emails and yes, there it was. An invitation to
a job interview for the next day. I was dismayed when I saw the address. It was at
the opposite end of town and traffic was infernal. It was in a bid to avoid that
awful traffic that we had bought a house in this estate which was close to
everything; Ike�s job, church and many of our friends. This house that we might
have to sell soon, I thought grimly.
Anyway, it was no use feeling sorry for myself. I had an interview to prepare for.
As I searched for likely interview questions online, I was surprised to see Ike
dressed up smartly coming out of the bedroom.
�Where are you going?� I asked him.
�Well, my friend Lamide has found some potential buyers for the car. And now, don�t
fret honey, but he also wants me to meet a real estate agent.�
�For the house?� I queried.
�Yes,� he said and I could see him bracing himself for my outburst.
�Ike, we agreed�� I began.
�I know Chi. Just like you said we wouldn�t do it unless we had to. I won�t bring
him to see the house. I�ll only discuss with him.�
I nodded, resignedly. This nightmare was becoming more real every day.
�By the way, I have an interview.�
�Oh great,� he said. �Where?�
�Apapa,� I said. He grimaced and I knew he was thinking about the traffic I would
face.
�I�m sure you�d be great honey,� he said and gave me a peck on the cheek as he left
the house.
As soon as the door shut down, I began to think of the ramifications of my working
out of the home.
We would need someone to take care of Anna; perhaps send for Ike�s mother who lived
in another state which also meant we would have to tell her everything we were
going through. Or on the alternative we could find her a cr�che but that also meant
more money that we couldn�t afford. No more elaborate meals because I wouldn�t have
the time or energy to cook them. I might have to consider using the bus more often
because it was often a lot wiser to do so than driving home in the awful traffic. I
just felt depressed thinking about it.
A verse of scripture came to my mind at that point. �Cast all your burdens on Him
for he cares for you.�
I opened my Bible to find it. There it was. I Peter 5:7. Such a simple scripture
yet so difficult for me to do.
My heart was full. I wasn�t sure I could even adequately express how I was feeling.
But I would give it a try.
�Lord you alone know the anguish I feel at this moment. I feel as if my world has
been ripped out under me. Clear my husband�s name Lord. He cannot go to prison
neither can we lose this house. Help us lord. Give us wisdom. Deliver us��
I was rambling but I believe God understood my heartfelt plea. And slowly it crept
on me that I didn�t even notice at first. A strange sense of calm. Something very
much like peace.

February 9, 2015
Dear Diary,
I left my house around 6.00am for the 9.00am interview. It had been a struggle to
get into my smart skirt suit that morning. Apparently I had gained a few more
pounds than I was aware of. Perhaps getting out of the house might not be so bad
for me after all. As the bus moved slowly on, I thought about the events of the
previous night. Ike had come in a bit more optimistic than he had gone out and said
he was getting better offers than he expected on the car. But he was going to meet
with a few mire potential buyers before making up his mind. He was surprised to see
me looking calm and cheerful and I told him about the scripture verse and my
prayer. Then we prayed together and went to bed more hopeful than we had been in
the past week.
The bus was moving at a crawl and I sighed. I brought out my novel and tried to
lose myself in the story and forget everything around me.
Finally at a quarter to nine, I got to the venue with beads of perspiration on my
forehead. I glanced at two other candidates who were reading some material with
them and did not seem willing to make conversation. They seemed like young, fresh
graduates.
I was suddenly very nervous. What would they say when they heard � had not been
working for three years?
At 9.15 I was ushered into the room and I saw the interview panel of six people.
And I wanted to disappear. They were too many! It wasn�t like I was interviewing to
be managing director of their company for Pete�s sake. As I took my seat, I had
never felt so far out of my league�

February 12, 2015

Dear Diary,
My eyes scanned the mail once more and I snorted in disbelief. I could not believe
it. After the interview, I had left the venue feeling rather surprised at myself.
They had harangued me with questions but somehow I had managed to answer it with
poise and confidence I didn�t know I had. I also managed to leave the impression
that taking care of a household was a good business position in itself what with
making budgets and plans and good bookkeeping. They were all nods and smiles and
definitely impressed with my technical knowhow. Or so I thought.
That was why I couldn�t understand this mail. It was a regret mail alright but the
reason they were sending me the mail was because I was �overqualified� for the
position. Whatever that meant. So I had over impressed them with my skills? Maybe,
I needed to be more underwhelming. Or perhaps it was just a line they used that to
soften the blow of rejection. I decided not to think about it much; it was after
all Apapa and I really did not want to go to work there. I deleted the mail and
started another round of applications.
Ike had gone out to finalize the deal on the car and I was lost in the internet
world when my phone rang.
An unfamiliar voice came on the line. �Are you Mrs. Chinelo Amadi?�
�Yes,� I hesitantly replied. Had they changed their minds and decided to give me
the job?
�My name is Debra. I am a nurse calling from the Royal Flower Hospital., Lekki.
Your friend Titi Lawrence is in the hospital and she asked us to give you a call.��
I was stunned. I knew the hospital. It was within the estate. �Is she, is she
alright?�
�She�s fine. She had a nasty domestic accident but she is stable now. She does not
have anyone with her and that was why we asked her who we could call.�
I sighed. �Ok. I�m on my way.�
I drove out of the compound with mixed feelings. A call from Titi was the last
thing I expected.
I found her very shaken with her head wrapped in a bandage. Her neighbor had found
her and called the hospital for an ambulance. She was said to have fallen down the
stairs and lost consciousness and when she came to, she made feeble cries for help.
She was all alone in the house. Even before Titi told me herself, I knew better. He
had pushed her himself.
She looked contrite when she saw me. �I didn�t have anyone else to call.�
I smiled. �It�s Ok. I guess I should have let you know sooner who I was.�
She sighed. �I didn�t mean what I said Chinelo. Since we met, you�ve been such a
good friend to me. Not that I have any now. He took them all away,� she said her
voice breaking off. �I�m sorry.�
I held her hands in mine for answer and all was forgiven.
She said it first before I did. �I need to leave him now Chinelo. I need to leave
him now, and leave that house before he kills me. But I don�t have anywhere to go.�
And she explained to me how he had made it so she would be totally dependent on
him. She had no savings of her own. She was alienated from her friends. Her parents
were dead and her only sibling was in Canada and there was a bit of estrangement.
�I need your help Chinelo. I need to protect myself and my son. Please tell me what
do I do?�
I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out. I was in no position to help her.
What advice was I give to such a person when my own affairs were in such a pitiable
state? The thought of taking her into my own home was a crazy one. It couldn�t
happen. Not the way things were at the moment.
�I don�t know Titi. I honestly don�t know.�

February 15, 2015

Dear Diary,
I woke up early the next day and knocked on Christy�s door. For the very first time
since I knew her, I was going to ask her for a very big favor.
When I got inside, I said without preamble.
�You said I could trust you Christy,�
She nodded, intrigued at the seriousness on my face.
�Then there�s something I want you to do for me.�
She listened as I explained my plan with rapt attention.
As I drove to the hospital to pick up Titi I realized what my mistake had been. I
had played the helpless victim all along, powerless to do anything. But now it was
time to take charge. Enough was enough. I couldn�t let Satan defeat me or take my
family away from me. I was a child of God and I was ready to wage war.
Titi was excited to see me. I knew what she wanted to hear me say. As I told her of
my alternative solution, her face fell but she knew it was the best that could be
done under the circumstances. I had discussed the matter with Ike and we had both
agreed that until we were sure of our circumstances, we wouldn�t bring in an extra
mouth to feed.
I didn�t tell Christy why we couldn�t take Titi in just that we couldn�t and she
hadn�t probed further. Perhaps she had sensed it must be something serious. I was
realizing more and more that I was guilty of not looking under the surface when it
came to Christy. That woman had the heart of gold and she agreed to maintain utmost
discretion to Titi living in her house.
Ike had told me not to tell Christy of our affairs but the same rule did not apply
to Titi so I told her of the challenges we were facing. To my surprise, she heaved
a sigh of relief.
�I thought you didn�t want me in your home because of what happened with Ike and I
long ago,� she explained. I laughed loudly.
�Well it�s good I helped clear that misconception. All that was in the past Titi.�
�I�m really sorry for what the two of you are going through. But I�ll be praying
for you,� she promised as I dropped her off at Christy�s house.
For now, we didn�t know what would happen between her and her husband. We would
take it one step at a time. But she needed protection and she needed rest.
Thankfully, that was something Christy was able to offer her.
I got home and saw an invitation in my mailbox to an interview. The company was
about 45 minutes away from home.
�Perhaps this could work,� I thought to myself. I said a quick prayer. �Lord, you
know best. I�m willing to do whatever it is you would have me do.�
Then I called Ike. I had decided to do something I should have done a long time ago
but had declined to do because I was still living in denial about the court case.
�Yes, I�m at the law firm. We�re waiting for you,� Ike said.
It was time for me to meet face to face with Ike�s lawyer. Ogadima. Everything was
going to be alright.
I shushed Anna but she wouldn�t stop fussing all the way to the solicitor�s office.
I knew we made an incongruous pair, me in my suit (I decided to wear a suit so the
lawyer would know I meant business) and a squalling baby on my arm. I wondered if I
had made the right decision by bringing her along. But we were a family and I
wanted us to have a united front. So all of us were going for this meeting no
matter how loudly Anna complained.
I was five minutes late when I got into the conference office.
�Thank you for joining us, Mrs. Amadi.� The lawyer said courteously as I sat in my
seat and rocked my baby back and forth.
�Like I was telling Mr. Amadi the situation we�re in is a rather precarious one.
We�ve searched but cannot find the associate and all the evidence points to Mr.
Amadi being the main suspect. We need to prepare for the worst case scenario. Mr.
Amadi may��
�Who did the search?� I interrupted him.
�I don�t understand you madam.�
�Who conducted the search for my husband�s colleague?� I asked him.
�The police did. They think he may have been kidnapped because there�s no trace of
him. Unfortunately there is talk of charging your husband with the kidnapping but
that hopefully won�t happen.�
�The police did,� I repeated sarcastically. �You know as well as I do that their
search may not turn up anything. Have you personally contacted Andrew�s family?�
The lawyer sat down confused. �Yes I have. But they don�t know where he is either.�
Ike looked at me trying to figure out what was going through my mind.
�I think we need to see the family again.� I stated.
�Ok, Mrs. Amadi but we�re running out of time and I think that would be a wild
goose chase. I think we should spend all the time we need preparing for your
husband�s trial. You would be asked to testify and I think we need to discuss what
kind of image we want you to project in court.�
�With all due respect Mr. Edison, I think I need to get to the associate�s family
myself. I would appreciate if you can give me their contact information.�
�I don�t think that�s a very good idea, Mrs. Amadi.�
�Is it illegal for me to contact them?�
�No, not at this stage. But when the trial begins��
�Hopefully there won�t be a trial.�
The lawyer looked at Ike as if to say �get-your-wife� and I could feel Ike�s eyes
boring into my back.
I took hold of his hand.
�I know what I�m doing honey,� I whispered.
As if in agreement, Anna stopped fussing and cooed.
�Ok Madam,� Mr. Edison said after a pause. �I would write down their contact
details. As a precautionary measure, I think it best I go with you so that you do
not say or do anything that can be used against you later.�
I thought for a moment and then said suddenly: �Mr. Edison do you believe my
husband is innocent?�
He smiled. �Yes I do.�
�Then you can go with me.�
As we got into the car, Ike turned to look at me.
�Odozi aku (my sweet wife), you were wonderful today,� he said kissing my hand. �In
fact, I should hire you as my lawyer.�
�Dim oma (my sweet husband), Ogadima(everything was going to be alright.�
It was the mantra I had been singing to myself for days now and one I truly
believed. The Lord had not forsaken us. I watched Anna as she fell asleep in my
lap, feeling rather sleepy myself.
I must have dozed off because my sudden movement made my phone fall off my lap when
it rang.
�Hello Chinelo,� came Titi�s distressed voice.
�Yeah Titi, what is it?�
�I�m sorry to bother you. It�s my husband. I saw him today and he tried to kill
me! I don�t know what to do!�
�What? Ok hold on. I�ll be home soon and we can talk about it.�
Ike looked at me with some concern.
�Is everything all right dear?�
I shook my head. �It�s Titi�s husband. She said he tried to kill her today.�
Ike�s eyes widened but he said nothing and his hands gripped the steering wheel
tighter
I shook my head again and wondered when I was going to get a break. I was just a
housewife but now I was suddenly so busy running up and down�
�We will go straight to Christy�s house,� Ike said decisively.
I leaned back in my seat and tried to doze off again.

February 20, 2015

Dear Diary,
Christy ushered us into her living room where Titi sat waiting for us.
�I went to the estate shopping mall to get some things,� she said without preamble
�when someone jerked my arm and spun me around. I looked and saw that it was my
husband. I wanted to scream but he told me that he had brought our son to see me.
My heart was in my mouth. I didn�t know if he was lying or not. Then he asked me to
follow him out of the shopping mall to his car. He held my hand in a vice like
grip.�
She paused for a second to wipe her eyes and continued�. �When we got to the car,
there was nobody in it but he shoved me in and drove off immediately.�
�I started screaming and trying to open the door but no one heard me. Then he told
me to stop and listen to him that he had only one message for me. He discovered
that I had moved out of the house and he was giving me one week to move back into
our house or else he would find me and kill me and make sure I never saw our son
again. He said I had no right to leave him like that.�
�I was so scared. All I could do was nod. He said that I shouldn�t think about
leaving him or asking for a separation because we took a vow and according to that
vow only death can separate us. He then dropped me off at the bus stop. I shakily
got out and called our family friend to ask if my son was still with her. She
confirmed he was still with her and also said my husband had not called her. I hope
he doesn�t know where our boy is.�
Ike was visibly deeply moved as she told her story. All the awkwardness of the past
was forgotten even though this was their first meeting since that time. Here was a
woman who needed our help and protection. I felt bewildered and like we were out of
our depth which in fact we were.
Ike spoke first.
�I�m so sorry Titi for all that you have been going through. We will do all that is
in our power to protect you. We need to make an official police report as well.
Perhaps you should also not go anywhere unaccompanied��
As he was talking I was reminded of something I had been learning over the past
week. Of course we were out of our depth but then we had a God who could handle
anything and our God had given us authority. Enough was enough!
�My dear, your husband cannot kill you. If he sees you and tries to do anything to
you, rebuke him in Jesus name,� I said suddenly. Everyone turned around to look at
me, shocked. I could see they couldn�t really understand what I was saying.
Titi smiled tremulously and said: �Ok.�
�Guys, don�t forget who our real enemy is here. It�s not your husband. It�s time to
go on the offensive and wage war against the oppressor. The weapons if our warfare
are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.� I said trying to make
them understand
Everybody seemed to listen politely but Christy shifted in her seat uncomfortably.
I guess they thought I was talking strangely. Although they were all Christians,
they couldn�t see how what I was saying could be applied to Titi�s situation. They
both offered more practical sounding advice to her. She was to block her husband�s
number. Ike would follow her to the station so she could make an official report.
She was not to stay in the house alone for any reason. I listened to all they were
saying and then I told Titi that I would come by to see her later.
When we got to our house, Ike turned to me and asked me what I had meant by all I
had said in Christy�s house.
By way of answer, I told him we needed to pray first.
The following day as I sat beside the lawyer in a taxi I thought about the events
of the previous day. In less than a week I had shifted from being a worried victim
of circumstances to bold warrior. I had decided I had had enough of cowering and
simpering. In the process, I had learned what it truly meant to have a God who
reigned in the affairs of men. I was glad that when I talked to her, Titi had
listened to me and understood. I told her I was not advocating fanaticism or any
strange ritual or a charm of any sort. I was just promoting a strong belief in the
efficacy of prayer.
�We will do all we can to protect you but there is a limit to what we can do. It
is God who is mighty to save. Call upon him and He will deliver you and show you
what to do,� I had said to her. Somehow, the messages I had heard in church were
starting to make real life meaning. It was even more gratifying now that Ike had
also received a fresh infusion of faith and was less despondent than before.
He told me this morning that he had got up to read his Bible and that he was led to
read the scripture that said the Lord would fight for him and he would hold his
peace.(Ex 14). I was glad of that because I needed God to be on my side as we
approached his former colleague�s house. I knew that this idea to see them had come
from Him. But I really had no plan of what I would say when I go there. What if
they threw me out? What if at the end of everything Ike was still convicted despite
our strong faith? What would that mean?
I was suddenly filled with doubt but then I was reminded about people in the Bible
who I had read about who were not given any guarantees. Esther who chose to step
forward in faith and said: �If I perish, I perish.� The three Hebrew children who
were ready to die in the fire. It occurred to me that even if things did not go the
way I prayed it would, if the worst happened, God was still God. It would still be
infinitely better to face this calm and unafraid than scared and helpless.
The car lurched to a stop interrupting my reverie. We got out in front of the gate
of a modest looking bungalow and rang the bell. I still didn�t know what I was
going to say as we waited for the door to open�

February 25, 2015

Dear Diary,
I said a quick prayer as the door opened and we were face to face with Mrs. Madu
who peered at us through thick spectacles.
She recognized the lawyer and said: �So you people have come to ask me more
questions abi?� she said as she ushered us inside. She didn�t know who it was but
assumed that I was working with the solicitor.
She led us into a large living room framed with family portraits. The furniture was
not pretentious but looked comfortable enough.
�I have been waiting for you people to come sef.� She says by way of introduction.
�But I lost your number.�
Mr. Edison raised his eyebrows and I wondered if God had already finished the work
before we got here. �How come?� he asked.
�I think you need to find my husband. He sent me divorce papers last week.�
Mr. Edison was at a loss but I quickly caught on.
�You think he has the money?� I asked.
�He must have stolen the money. Why else would he be sending me divorce papers in
the post? That ungrateful man. After all I have done for him,�� she said
disgruntled.
I gave a wide smile. �Do you now have an idea where he is Mrs. Madu?�
�Can we see the papers?� Edison chipped in.
She suddenly peered at me. �Wait, you look familiar. Have I met you before?�
I felt it was safe to introduce myself now. �I�m Mrs. Amadi. My husband was working
with yours.�
Her face lost some of its hardness and I could see some trace of compassion in it.
�I�m so sorry Mrs. Amadi. I really can�t imagine what you must be going through.
I�m sorry for even suggesting that your husband was capable of kidnapping mine. �
�It�s alright Mrs. Madu. I am grateful you�re giving us this information. Perhaps
we can trace your husband with this divorce papers.�
�I am just sorry I ever married him in the first place. And my family warned me��
she said and she seemed lost in thought for a moment. �Let me go and get the
papers.�
When she left us, I gave the lawyer a look.
�So you see, I wasn�t so crazy in suggesting we come here after all.�
�It�s a miracle,� Edison said. �She nearly chased me away last time I came here.�
She came with the divorce papers. They were postmarked Oregon.
�Well, anyway, the good thing is we know he wasn�t kidnapped,� Edison said. �But
now, we have to come up with a plan to bring him home and make him face justice.�
When I got home that evening, I was dancing on air.
�See, I told you we would come out of this thing,� I said giving Ike�s ear a gentle
tug.
But he said; �Ow!� Apparently, I wasn�t so gentle.
I gave him a summary and he was shocked.
�Does it mean that this nightmare is about to be over?� he said joyously.
�Well, definitely God is working something out,� I said confidently.
He held me and hugged me close and we both thanked God together.
That night we slept in each other�s arms feeling better than we had in weeks.
But there was still the final battle to come.

February 26, 2015

Dear Diary,
The plan for now was that we would try to communicate with Mr. Madu and Edison
would act as if he was her divorce lawyer. Hopefully, we would be able to get him
to respond or even come down to Nigeria to have his estate settled. We had reported
to the police that we had heard from Mr. Madu but as he was far beyond their reach,
they told us that there was little they could do. Typical Nigerian police.
Edison had also filed a motion for postponement of the trial and cited the reason
that an important witness was at large. We were awaiting the judge�s ruling on
that. If it was granted, it would buy us more time to bring Madu home to justice.
I poured another cup of tea for myself and sat down beside Titi in my living room.
She hadn�t been sleeping well and she looked dreadful. She had been having
nightmares of her husband trying to suffocate her. She wasn�t able to go out or
even go and see her child because she was afraid he would trace her and kidnap the
child. It was a dire state of affairs and I feared for her physical and mental
health.
�Titi, you cannot continue living in fear like this. It�s time you went on the
offensive,� I said taking hold of one of her hands. It was very cold and she was
trembling.
�Easy for you to say Chinelo. You�re not the one living with a gun pointed at your
head.� She sputtered out.
�Hmm. I�m going through some tough times here too,� I said gently.
She looked contrite. �I�m sorry Chi. I know you are. Everything seems so hopeless
and difficult. I don�t understand what it is you mean by being on the offensive. Do
you want me to fight him or what?�
�Yes. Fight but don�t fight him. Fight the real enemy. Fight for his soul, do your
fighting in the spirit. Satan is doing everything he can to discourage you and
paralyze you so you cannot take a step forward. It�s high time you let Him know
that God is in charge.�
�I hear you Chi. But I still don�t know how to do it. Will you show me?� she said
giving me a pleading look with her eyes.
I picked up my Bible. �First, we need to understand what the Word of God says to us
so we declare it to ourselves and rebuke the devil. It says here: I have given you
authority to trample on snakes and scorpions�and nothing shall by any means harm
you��
That evening, I sat in front of my computer and meditated on the events of the day.
I had developed a new practice of doing that and thanking God for the little
victories of the day. I was glad Titi was beginning to see that she could trust God
and lean on Him. We also discussed seemingly more practical things about the
possibility of her needing to get a lawyer. I promised her that I would testify if
it ever became necessary. After all that happened between her and her husband, the
chances of reconciliation seemed slim. But there was nothing impossible for Him to
do� As I was meditating I felt a nudge in my spirit to check my mail. I was shocked
to see a letter of invitation for an interview. I was amazed when I saw the name of
the company.
It was the same company I had been interviewed in last month. The one that had
decided I was overqualified. Lord, what are you trying to do here?

February 28, 2015

Dear Diary,
I settled down in bed the next day with mixed feelings. The day had been very
dramatic. I had gone to the company site and they said they would like to use my
services part time as a company representative in my area as they were thinking of
opening a new branch in that area. They felt I would be perfect for the job but I
needed to receive some training in the headquarters but they would make my schedule
light since they knew the commitments I had to my family. The company would open in
six months and if I did well they would consider me for an executive position. I
would also be paid while I was being trained. It was all I could do to hold back
tears of gratitude. I could hardly believe what was happening. Was this how God
answered prayers? I accepted immediately and as I picked up my phone to call my
husband after leaving the premises, my phone started ringing. It was Ike.
�Darling, how are you? Been trying to reach you,� he said breathless.
�I�m sorry dear. I switched off my phone during the interview,� I said.
�How was it?� he asked quickly.
�It was great. I got the job. I�ll tell you details later.�
�Ok,� he said and paused for a second. �I just wanted to tell you that we�ve had a
ruling. The judge decided not to extend the trial date.�
I let out a whoosh of air. That meant the trial would start in less than two weeks.
And we were nowhere near ready.
�It�s going to work out,� I said in my cheeriest tone. God had brought us this far,
hadn�t he?
�Right,� my husband said flatly. �Anyway I�m going to meet Edison so we can start
discussing strategy. There�s no time to waste.�
�Ok. I�ll try to join you depending on how thick traffic is. But I need to get home
first.�
As I pulled into my driveway, I was surprised to see Titi standing there, waiting
for me.
She was shaking.
�I tried calling you but I couldn�t reach you. I called your husband and he told me
you would soon be home,� she sputtered out as I came out of the car.
�What�s the matter dear? You look ill,� I asked her with concern as I ushered her
into the house.
�I just had the scariest moment of my life Chi. I was kidnapped,� she said her
voice still shaking.
My eyes widened as she haltingly told me her story.
�I really needed to get something from the supermarket today and as Christy was not
around, I had to get it myself. It was like he was waiting for me. As soon as I
stepped out of the supermarket, a hand grabbed mine tightly. It was my husband and
he told me not to scream that if I did he would harm our son. So I followed him to
the car. I was so scared��
She narrated how he drove off on unfamiliar routes without talking to her and she
discovered that they were soon on the expressway. When she tried to ask him where
they were going, he refused to respond. He only said he was going to teach her a
lesson. She began to beg him but he only laughed. Before she knew it, they were on
the Lagos Ibadan expressway with no houses in sight. She knew he was about to do
something sinister so she began to panic.
�But then I remembered how you had told me not to be afraid. So I began to pray
under my breath. He shouted and told me to keep quiet but then I turned to him and
boldly declared: �In the name of Jesus, I command you to let me out of this car.�
He laughed at first and asked me to repeat what I said. I did and this time with
more conviction.
He looked at me strangely and asked what had happened to me. I told him that I was
standing on the authority given to me by Jesus who said nothing shall by any means
harm me and I commanded him to let me out of the car. To my surprise, he pulled
over and told me to get out.
I walked towards the highway and luckily I was able to find a taxi that took me
straight to your house.�
My mouth was wide open at the end of her story. All I could do was to start
thanking God for his deliverance and we spent a thirty minute session doing that. I
totally forgot about the fact that I was to meet Edison and my husband. By the time
I remembered and checked my phone, I saw a message from Ike telling me he was
coming home and that he had some important news to report.
Just before going to bed, he told me something that felt like ten steps backward.
There was a rumor of a motion filed by the prosecution that since he was a criminal
and should be remanded in custody as he might try to escape before the trial and
that the judge was considering it. They would find out for sure by the next day. My
heart was in my throat when he said that and I saw the despair on his face. We
tried to pray but it was a halfhearted effort. We felt so defeated. Eventually we
went to bed, and it was while I was in bed I realized I had not told him the
details of my new job. But all that paled in comparison to what we were currently
facing. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

March 3rd, 2015

Dear Diary,
There is a form of silent torture that everyone goes through at some point in life.
I call it the torture of the unknown. It was a cold and cruel kind of torture that
gripped you in the chest and messed with your insides. It was what we faced that
morning as we stood outside the chambers waiting for the outcome of the meeting
with the judge. Edison had said we didn�t need to come but we couldn�t help
ourselves. We wanted to be there. Perhaps we should have spent the time thinking up
trial strategy. Mrs. Madu was yet to hear back from her husband.
She had sent a response through post but it would likely be weeks before anyone
heard back from him. We had looked for other means of contacting him but all seemed
futile. He was no longer answering his emails and she had no phone number. How on
earth were we to get to him in time?
As I held Ike�s hands in mine, I sent a silent plea. God, please don�t let them
take him away now. Whatever battles we had to fight, we needed to fight it
together. We were both silent, hands clasped, lost in thought. Afraid to ask what
if?
Edison came out with a small smile.
�We won,� he said. �You won�t be taken into custody.�
�However we didn�t win on the other case. I pushed my motion for the trial to be
delayed again because of our star witness but the judge declined.�
I let out a whoosh of air as Ike hugged me in relief.
�We will take the victories as they come,� I assured Edison.
�Now what?� Ike asked looking up at his lawyer.
�Now we need to go to my office and come up with some very good ideas on how to win
this thing,� Edison said with a glint in his eye.
I was pleasantly surprised. He had seemed so composed and unaffected before. Now he
seemed to be warming up to the challenge.
�What are we waiting for then?� I asked. �Let�s go.�
Three hours later we still had nothing close to a plan. To my surprise, it was Ike
who was the strong one. He told us to stop and then he prayed.
�Lord, we�re at our wits end here. The date for the trial has been set and fixed
and we don�t know what to do. Lord, you reign in the affairs of men. Please give us
your wisdom and show Yourself strong in this situation.�
On the way home, I forced myself to sound cheerful but I still couldn�t help
worrying. There were so many things to think about. I missed Anna. Because of my
crazy schedule and all the running around, I had taken her to my mother�s house to
stay for a while. I was supposed to resume work the week following the trial. I was
supposed to be shopping for new clothes and dusting my college material. But here I
was, faced with the prospect of my husband going to jail and losing everything we
had worked for. And I had been brave. I had tried to be. I had gone through all the
emotions anger, denial, bargaining but as the days grew closer I felt it. The cold
icy fear. I kept wondering what would happen to me and Anna if the worst happened.
Ike tried to pull me out of my reverie. �It�s ok hon,� he said placing a hand on my
shoulder. �Have you heard from Titi?� he asked.
I suddenly remembered that Titi had gone to see her son. She said she wasn�t scared
of her husband anymore and she was thinking of getting a house and a job. I dialed
her number. At least some things were going in the right direction. But before I
could get through to Titi, my call was interrupted. It was Mrs. Madu.
�Hello, please can you come over to my house? I just received some shocking news. I
need to speak with you.�
I was flummoxed. What could the news be? I quickly told Ike and called Edison to
join us there. Were our prayers already answered? Was Madu back?

March 5, 2015
Dear Diary,
When we arrived at the Madu�s residence, I was unsure what to expect. I wondered
if it would be wiser to wait for our lawyer before going in but Ike felt we could
go in and find out what she wanted first, while we waited for Edison to arrive. As
we got in, we met Mrs. Madu crying softly and then she wordlessly handed us a
letter even before we sat down. She said it had just been delivered to her.
It took me a few minutes before I realized what the letter contained even though
Ike and I read it together. It was addressed to his wife. Ike�s face lighted up as
he read and I was still puzzled, trying to understand what it said. I was
horrified. Madu had taken his own life! Then I had to read it three times to
understand why. Apparently he had run away with some young girl to the Bahamas who
had then stolen most of his money and deserted him. He was a man at the end of his
rope. And he had done what seemed to him to be the only way out. His letter was
filled with regret. He apologized for abandoning his wife and children and for the
pain he caused her by asking for the divorce. He apologized to Ike as well for
framing him and running away with the company�s money. It was a full confession
albeit from the grave. And he signed it with his own name.
I couldn�t believe it. There in my hands was my husband�s exoneration. It took a
few moments for it to register. It was like I had woken up from a bad dream. I put
my arm around Mrs. Madu who was still sobbing profusely. Whatever Andrew Madu had
done it was apparent that he was still loved by his wife. Ike called his lawyer and
gave him the details and was gesticulating. His voice was low in deference to Mrs.
Madu�s distress. Although I couldn�t hear the conversation, I knew we had come to
the end of this particular battle.

August 15, 2015

Dear Diary,
I rolled over on the side of the bed and looked at the time. 6.30 am. I had to be
on my way to work if I wanted to beat the morning traffic. Ike had already got up
and was bathing Anna. I was grateful. I had no reason to fuss this morning. As his
office was nearer, he would drop Anna at school and I would be able to pick her up
on my way from work. We were functioning like a well-oiled machine.
We had put the Madu saga behind us and Ike had kept his job but was working towards
setting up his company in the future. He wanted to spend more time with the family.
I was enjoying my new challenges at work although I still got needled that I had to
get up early. And Titi was doing great. She had recently got a new job as a
secretary and though the pay was modest, after the divorce settlement and her
family�s support she was quite well off. In fact, we would see how well she was
doing tonight as we were inviting her for dinner.
The whole episode had made me learn not to take things for granted. I found more
reasons to be thankful these days. Less reasons to worry. And although my dear
Chinelo had lost her gist partner; she had been keeping herself busy by getting
elected as the chairman of the landlords association which afforded her the
opportunity to visit everyone�s home within the estate and suggest improvements. A
job which she relished. I had seen her grow in her role and was gratified.
And I had a surprise Ike didn�t know about yet. I planned to buy the test kit on my
way home but I was fairly certain Anna may have a little brother or sister soon.
And as I got behind the wheel, I was tempted to look ahead and wonder how I was
going to cope with the new job and added responsibility and Ike planning to make
this major change. Then I shook my head as if in an attempt to clear it. Worrying
was so yesterday. Fussing was so last year. I had learnt of a more productive way�