MY LAPTOP IS SO SLOW

A: My laptop is so slow.
B: Buy a new one.
A: I would if I had the money.
B: Why is it so slow?
A: That's a good question.
B: Did you take it to a computer shop?
A: I would if I had the money.
B: Well, I guess you have to live with it.
A: Sometimes I want to throw it out the window.
B: You don't want to do that.
A: Why not?
B: You might hit someone in the head.

HOW ABOUT A PIZZA?

 A: What's for dinner?
B: I'm not sure.

A: How about a pizza?

B: You had pizza for lunch.

A: But I love pizza.

B: Everybody loves pizza.

A: So why can't I have pizza for dinner?

B: Because you need variety.

A: What's variety?
B: Different things not the same thing all the time.
A: You mean, like a pepperoni pizza instead of a cheese pizza?
B: No, I mean a salad instead of a pizza.

TOO MANY CARS

A: Look at this traffic.
B: I'd rather not.
 A: It gets worse every year.
B: Why are you complaining? We're going almost 20 miles an hour.
A: The speed limit is 65!
B: Well, that's between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.
A: Where are all these people going?
B: They're all asking the same question.
A: When are they going to fix this problem?
B: They said they need more money.
A: They always need more money.
B: It'll get worse before it gets better.